


Wait for It

by Zoeykaytesmom



Series: Barba & Rossetti [2]
Category: Chicago PD (TV), Law & Order: SVU, Rafael Barba - Fandom
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, College, F/M, Finding Love, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Law School, Marriage, Pregnancy, Raising a family, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Smut, mild violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-07-10 16:02:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 198
Words: 223,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15952763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoeykaytesmom/pseuds/Zoeykaytesmom
Summary: *DISCLAIMER*In order to show the level of a suspects racism, I did use some racial slurs; words and phrases that I DO NOT think are okay. However, I only did it for content related purposes and that is all!!!





	1. Chapter 1

{August 1995}

 

“Izzy you need to get up,” her mother Stella Rossetti called from the doorway of her daughter’s room

“Ma, it’s 6 in the morning,” she whined.

“I know this but your Dad and I need to get you on the road. It’s almost 4 hours to Cambridge.  
”

“Why couldn’t I just go with Tony yesterday?”

“Because your brother lives with 4 guys. You don’t need to be around a bunch of 20-year old guys doing god knows what.”

“Okay,” Izzy said as she laid back down on her pillow and pulled her sheet over her head.

“Elizabeth! Come on!”

“Okay!”

“You busted your ass to get into Harvard. Let’s get a move on. You can sleep on the way down there.”

“Fine,” she told her mother as she pulled herself out of her bed.

Elizabeth “Izzy” Rossetti had graduated from FDR High School in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn that May with a full scholarship to Harvard, where she would be joining her brother Tony as he was starting his Junior year. She and Tony were the only children of Anthony and Stella Rossetti. Anthony was a Captain for the FDNY while Stella was Assistant Principal of Forest Hills High in Queens. 

Once she got dressed and her dad made sure everything was loaded, Izzy took one last look around her room that she grew up in, the city she loved as they crossed the bridge on their way to Massachusetts. The sun had started to rise, hitting behind the World Trade Center just right.

“Are you ready for this, kid?”

“Yeah, Pop. I think I am,” she said with a smile as she laid on her pillow in the backseat of her parents 1994 Ford Explorer. She hoped not to wake up until they arrived at Harvard. 

 

“It’s Pennypacker, right, Izz?”

“Yeah, Dad. Like Kramer’s alias on Seinfeld. I told you it was meant to be.” “Looks like you already have some help,” Anthony said pointing to Tony walking up.

“Hey, you finally made it...nerd.”

“Oh, shut up and help me unload this stuff please, big brother?”

“Oh, why not,” Tony said while hugging his little sister. “Glad you’re here.”

Izzy was in a room with only one other roommate. All she knew was the girl was from Chicago. Stella had went to make sure everything was in order paperwork wise while Izzy, Tony, and Anthony unloaded the SUV, which took about 45 minutes going up and down the stairs.

A man with a very gruff voice, a nice looking dark-haired woman, a boy and a girl around Izzy’s age came in, the boy might’ve been a little younger actually. “I sure hope you’re the roommate’s father and not the roommate,” the man joked as he shook Anthony’s hand.

“Captain Anthony Rossetti FDNY. This is my daughter Izzy, who is the roommate, and my son Tony who also goes to school here.”

“I’m Detective Hank Voight Chicago PD, this is my wife Cindy, our son Justin, and our…goddaughter Erin Lindsay. It’s nice to meet you all.”

They exchanged pleasantries, made sure the girls were settled before Anthony and Stella invited Hank and Cindy to lunch, which they gladly accepted. The girls were pretty silent as they unpacked their things.

“Do you mind if I turn on some music, Erin?”

“Uh, no not at all. I might work faster if we had some noise going.”

“Me, too. You like Alanis Morrisette?”

“Love her.”

Izzy put in “Jagged Little Pill” as they sang and continued to work. After a few hours they got hungry and went to hunt down some food to bring back to their dorm and started to get to know each other.

“Yeah, Hank and Cindy took me in a few years ago. Saved my life actually. I mean my mom is a drunk and junkie, my dad’s in prison. I was determined I wasn’t going to end up like that. Cindy is actually a teacher and she helped me get my scholarship out here.”

“Damn, Erin. I couldn’t imagine. You’re on scholarship, too, huh?”

“Oh yeah. Hank could’ve paid my tuition but I felt I needed to prove to myself and everybody else that I deserved it. I didn’t play sports, hang out with friends or even date very much, or anything. I just studied.”

“I played basketball but that was it. I dated but I was usually home with my nose in the books on weekends myself. I could’ve went to NYU, I mean I love New York, but I guess there’s more to life than the Big Apple.”

 

A few days later, Erin and Izzy went to the bookstore after finalizing their syllabuses to get their books. Behind the counter was a guy in a gray Harvard t-shirt that clung to his muscular arms, the most beautiful skin tone, short dark brown hair reading “Slaughterhouse Five” by Kurt Vonnegut. 

“Can I help you,” he asked quickly as he took Izzy’s syllabus from her, barely looking at her. He even scoffed her schedule.

“What?” Izzy asked. 

“I was just looking at your classes.”

“And?”

“You’re overly ambitious, you have a chip on your shoulder, and you plan to party.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your class schedule is overloaded,” he said as he sat the first books on the counter, “but none of your classes are before 11, and no one takes Professor Michaelson’s course unless they have something to prove because Professor Roberts covers the same ground and grades easier,” he said with a smirk as he laid the last book down.

“Well, thanks for that.”

“No problem. Welcome to Harvard,” he replied with the smirk still plastered on his face.

Erin was at the other guy behind the counter but heard the entire exchange and was trying not to laugh.

“Oh my god that guy was such a jerk.”

“Izzy are you serious? He was totally flirting with you.”

“Well, he needs some pointers. I should tell my brother but I won’t cause I’m a big girl. I just hope I don’t see him around.”

“Yes, you do. You want to see him around.”

“Oh, this is going to be a long year.”

 

“How was work,” Tony asked Rafael as he walked into their suite at Cabot Hall.

“Man, I saw this hot freshman today.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Blond hair, brown eyes, nice body…just…wow.”

“Did you ask her out?”

“Not yet. I’m sure I’ll run into her again. I mean we do have other things in the bookstore she might need.”

“I got ya. You gotta stalk your prey before you pounce, huh?”

“I wouldn’t put it in those terms but…yeah that pretty much sums it up.”

“Did you get her name?”

“It was Elizabeth something. You know I just have to worry about her ID number more than anything.”


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next couple of weeks, Izzy would see that guy. A few times in the bookstore and a few times around campus. Anytime they made eye contact, that smirk would be on his face, to which she would just roll her eyes.

She was in the library studying one night, alone because Erin had some guy in their room when the chair across from her at the table she was sitting at and that she had her foot in was pulled out from under her.

“How’s Harvard treating you?”

“Uh, fine?”

“I think we got off on the wrong foot in the bookstore that day.”

“You think?”

“I know I can come across as a jerk. I don’t mean to.”

“Well, you could’ve fooled me,” she said as she was trying to concentrate on her Statistics book.

"You’re not intimidated by me, are you?”

She put her pen down and looked up. “Why should I be?”

“Most people I meet are within the first 5 minutes, Elizabeth.”

“How do you know my name?”

“It was on your syllabus, remember?”

“Oh.” She could’ve corrected him with her nickname but decided not to. “And your name would be?”

“Rafael.”

“Well, at least now I have the name of the person I cuss every time I see him.”

He just kind of smiled. “Hey, there’s a party Friday night. You should come. You got a roommate?”

“Yeah.”

“Bring her, too. You guys could use it, I’m sure.”

“And where is this party?”

“Sigma Ki house. I got some friends in there.”

“Yeah, well I need to study.”

“Blowing off steam every once in a while isn’t going to kill you. You know?”

“Well thanks for the advice,” she said as she put her things in her backpack and got up.

“Come on. I’m serious it’ll be fun.”

“If you think you’re gonna get me drunk and have sex with me…”

“Hey, now. No. I’m just inviting you out, one student to another. To have some fun. You don’t want to get burnt out too soon.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I’m asking, Elizabeth.”

“I might see you there…Rafael.”

“Barba.”

“What?”

“My last name.”

“Oh.”

“You’re not going to tell me yours?”

“Don’t you know it from my syllabus?”

“All I had to write down was your student ID.”

“I might see you, Friday, Rafael and then I might tell you my last name.”

“Fair enough. Have a good night, Elizabeth.”

“You, too, Rafael.”

 

She thought about him the whole walk back to her dorm. Erin’s guy was apparently gone by the absence of her sock on the door knob. She was watching TV when Izzy walked in and put her bag down.

“How was the library?”

“Uh, it was interesting,” Izzy said with a slight smile.

“What’s with the smile?”

“Nothing. I’m just in a good mood.”

“You ran into bookstore guy.”

“What?”

“You act like you’re annoyed by him but you are far from it. You like him.”

“I don’t even know him.”

“You get his name?”

“Rafael. Rafael Barba.”

“I see.”

“He invited me, well us to a party Friday night.”

“Where?”

“The Sigma Ki house.”

“It’s Tuesday so we need to start picking out outfits now.”

“You really want to go?”

“Don’t you? How long has it been since you got laid?”

“The day before I met you.”

“Oh yeah, that Antonio guy.”

“Dawson. Antonio Dawson. And he wasn’t just some guy. He was one of my best friends since Jr high. We were both going off to college and had a good-bye screw.”

“Was it good?”

“He was better than the others. That’s not a stretch but he did last longer.”

“Well, you know, college guys…”

“I’m not trying to get laid by the first guy that’s showed me attention at college.”

 

“You ran into her at the library?” Tony asked as he handed Rafael a beer.

“Yep. Invited her to the party Friday night. She’s got a roommate, you know?”

“Is she gonna come?”

“We’ll see. She thinks I’m just trying to screw her.”

“Well you are, aren’t you?”

“You know better than that. I’m not like Zack. I just want to get to know her.”

“You get a last name?”

“She said she would tell me if she comes to the party Friday night.”

“You know, I should invite my sister. I bet she could get stand to get out of her dorm for once.”

“Oh, yeah, I still haven’t met her.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

“Why?”

“My sister’s a bitch, dude.”

“That’s tacky.”

“I love my sister to death, don’t get me wrong, and really it’s my fault. You know I taught her how to stick up for herself so she wouldn’t need me. I just didn’t know she’d turn it back around on me.”

“You should’ve figured that out. I’m an only child and I could’ve told you that was going to happen.”

“I’m just saying, I don’t think you and my sister would get along very well.”

“I just said I hadn’t met her. I’m not expecting to hang out with her. She probably doesn’t want to be around you any more than you want to be around her.”

“That’s probably true, Barba.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Are you nervous about tonight?”

“Not really, Erin. I mean we’ll have a few drinks and maybe I’ll talk to him. I’ll talk to my brother a little. I don’t plan on being out all night.”

“I was asking because you’ve changed clothes 5 times.”

“6 and what’s your point?”

“I know we haven’t known each other long but you’re nervous. You want to make sure you look good. Trust me, that cockiness is gonna fade when he sees you.”

“You don’t think this is too, ‘Clueless’-esque?”

“No! Now, will you hurry up?”

“Okay, I’m coming,” Izzy laughed as she checked her make-up once more before they left.

 

“Okay, do you see Rafael or my brother anywhere?”

“I see your brother right over there.”

They walked up to Tony and a couple of other guys.

“Hey, you came! Guys this is my sister, Izzy and her roommate Erin Linsday. Guys this is Austin, Chase, and Ted.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Tony was talking about growing up in Brooklyn while Izzy was trying to nonchalantly look around for Rafael.

“Isn’t that right, Izzy? Izzy!”

“Huh? What? Yeah, Tony.”

“What’s got you so distracted?”

“Nothing.”

“Yeah okay,” Tony said as he went back to talking.

“Looking for someone?” She heard a familiar voice whisper.

Before she could turn to him and speak, Tony interrupted her.

“Hey, Barba. This is my sister I was telling you about,” Tony said, noticing his roommate on the other side of Izzy.

He looked like someone had shot him. “Really? You…you…your sister?”

“Yeah, Izzy, this is one of my roommates, Rafael Barba.”

“We’ve met. In the bookstore,” she told her brother.

“Yeah, in the bookstore,” Rafael added. 

Erin was doing everything she could not to laugh so Izzy grabbed her to go get another drink.

“That is the best moment of my life so far.”

“I’m glad you find it funny, Erin.”

“Did you see the look on his face when Tony told him you were his sister? I knew that cockiness would fade when he saw you. I just thought it would be for a different reason.”

“I need a smoke. Let’s go outside.”

They were standing outside as Erin kept laughing.

“Smoking’s bad for you, ya know?”

“I only when I drink, Rafael.”

“Yeah, me too. So why didn’t you tell me what you actually go by?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, your syllabus said Elizabeth, not Izzy, which I thought was short Isabella all this time when your brother talked about you.”

“You didn’t ask if I went by anything else. I guess I don’t have to tell you my last name now.”

“You most certainly do not. You cannot tell your brother…”

“Were you dumb enough to talk about me in front of him?”

“NO!”

“Liar.”

“Maybe once or twice. You do look good tonight.”

“So, do you.”

“Well I guess we can at least be friends?”

“Maybe.”

 

Erin and Izzy had another beer and decided to go back to their dorm.

“You want me to walk you back?”

“You don’t have to, Rafael. We’ll be fine.”

“It’s dark. You’ve been drinking. Let me get your brother and we’ll walk you back to your dorm. It’s the least I can do.”

“Uh, sure.”

“Okay, I’ll be back.”

“He’s not going to let your brother stop him.”

“What are you talking about, Erin?”

“He likes you. Trust me. You haven’t gotten rid of him yet.”

“Shh! Here they come.”

“Come on, sis. This party is lame anyways. Barba, that chick ever show up?”

“Yeah but I don’t think it’s something I want to pursue right now.”

“They way you’ve talked about her since that day in bookstore and you’re just not gonna try to go further?”

“Let’s not talk about it right now. Let’s just make sure these two get back safely.”

“Okay. So, Erin, what’s Chicago like?”

“I would assume the same as New York. Beautiful even when it isn’t.”

 

They finally made it to the girls dorm.

“Well, it was nice to see you again, Izzy.”

“You, too, Rafael,” she said as they lightly shook hands.

“Dude just kiss my sister and get it over with.”

“What?!”

“Pretty long walk over here, ya know, and it didn’t take me long to figure who the blond freshman named Elizabeth he’s been talking about constantly.”

“Tony we’re just…we’re fine. Nothing’s going to happen.”

“Fine. I mean I gave you permission but if you don’t want to take it, I can’t make you.”

“Jeez, Tony. I don’t need you to give a guy permission to kiss me.”

“Well you two figure out what the hell it is you want to do, I’m gonna walk Erin upstairs.”

“I’m sorry…” Izzy and Rafael both started to say.

“I’m sorry about my brother.”

“It’s no big deal,” he shrugged. “He’s had a few to drink and he could change his mind in the morning.”

“You don’t have to tell me. Thanks for inviting me out and walking us home.”

“Yeah. Of course. I mean I know it’s Harvard but there’s some creepy fucks out here still.”

“Are you two done?”

“We didn’t do anything, Junior.”

“Alright. Well you’re both adults. Come on, Barba. I’m hungry.”

“That’s a surprise. I’ll see you around, Izzy.”

 

“So, did he kiss you?” Erin asked when Izzy walked into their dorm.

“No.”

“Are you kidding me? That’s why Tony walked me up here, to give you two privacy.”

“Well, what can you do?”

“You should’ve kissed him.”

“I’m getting ready for bed.”

“You know you could probably catch…”

“My brother is on the hunt for food so I’m sure they’re out of the Yard by now.”


	4. Chapter 4

Izzy was sitting in her Abnormal Psychology class, taking notes, and completely bored out of her mind.

“Psst!”

“Jesus, Barba. You scared the hell out of me,” she whispered.

“Sorry. Come on, why don’t you get out of here?”

“I can’t. I have test coming up.”

“I can help you study.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I had this same class, same professor. You’re on chapter 14 already, huh?”

“How’d you know?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Barba but is there a reason you’re interrupting my class?”

“Actually, Professor Marks, my roommate asked me to come find his sister. Family emergency.”

“Okay, Rossetti, go on. Be prepared Thursday.”

“Yes, sir,” she said as she grabbed her bag and the rest of her things. “How did you pull that off?”

“He loved me.”

“Don’t you have class right now,” she asked as she tried to keep up with the fast walking Junior.

“Do you ever stop worrying?” He laughed as they stopped at the door. “It’s okay to live a little, you know?”

“I just didn’t peg you as someone that…”

“Likes to have fun? I’m gonna be here for another almost 5 years. I have to do things to stop myself from going completely fucking crazy.”

“And you really can help me with…”

“Izzy breathe. Yes, I will help you, though I doubt you’ll need it. Don’t ask me where we’re going because I honestly have no idea. That’s what makes it fun.”

“You’re not going to kill me are you,” she joked.

“Just come on.”

“My brother lets you take his car?”

“Yeah.”

“That fucker has never let me drive it. Not once.”

“So, you ever been to Boston?”

“Are you kidding? I’d rather fucking die than be in the same town as the Red Sox.”

“I think you’ll survive. Besides, there was no World Series because of the strike this year. Hey, what…”

“I don’t care if it’s a short drive, I am not listening to ‘Hold my Hand’ on more time. I’ve had enough of Hootie and the Blowfish already.”

“Okay fair enough,” he laughed. “Your brother’s CD’s are under your seat. I didn’t even pay attention when I got in here.”

“I knew that bastard stole my Dave Matthews cd.”

 

“See? Boston wasn’t so bad,” Rafael teased on the way back.

“Yeah I liked seeing all the historical sites. That was pretty interesting.”

“You didn’t melt when we walked by Fenway either.”

“My skin was burning.”

“Oh jeez. You’re a hard woman to please, Elizabeth.”

“Not really. Pizza and beer, I’m happy.”

“Is that it?”

“Pretty much.”

“Well, I tell you what. I’ll come help you study tomorrow and I’ll bring those two things.”

“Okay. I can live with that.”

 

“Where have you been?” Erin asked like she was Izzy’s mother and she had missed curfew. “I’ve been paging you.”

“Sorry. I was out.”

“With who?”

“A friend.”

“A friend? This friend wouldn’t happen to be a Junior and lives with your brother, would he?”

“Maybe.”

“Did you…”

“We just went and walked around Boston. No holding hands, no kissing, nothing like that.”

“I told you.”

“We’re just friends.”

“How much longer is that going to last?”

“Zip it.”

“Okay, look at me like I’m crazy.”

“Anyways, did Hank say you can come to New York for Thanksgiving?”

“Yes, he did. He just wants to call your Dad and make sure they’re fine with it, like I figured he would.”

“Okay, you gave him the number I left you?”

“Sure did.”

“Okay, then.”


	5. Chapter 5

Izzy woke up the day before Thanksgiving, stopped up, fever, just feeling awful. She and Erin were waiting on Tony and Rafael to come pick them up so they could head to New York for the holiday. Anthony assured Hank that Erin would be taken care of and an eye would be kept on her while she was at his house.

“Your brother just pulled up,” Erin told her when she spotted his car in front of their building.

Izzy grabbed her suitcase, along with her pillow and a blanket from her bed, and a bag with Kleenex, vicks, and Nyquil. She had her hair pulled back and a headband around her head to keep her shorter layers off of her face. She was wearing her gray Harvard sweatshirt and pink pajama bottoms. She could careless how she looked. She wanted to sleep during the almost four-hour trip. Tony must’ve been getting impatient as they met him and Rafael as they walked up the stairs to their floor.

“Jeez, sis, you look like shit run over twice.”

“Tony!”

“What, Barba? She looks terrible.” 

“She’s obviously sick, you ass. Here, give me your suitcase, Izz.”

“Thanks, Rafael.”

Erin found it all a lot more amusing than she probably she should have.

Once they were downstairs, Rafael and Tony took the girls suitcases and put them in the trunk.

“Hey, Erin, why don’t you sit up front.”

“Uh, okay. Thanks, Rafael.”

Tony gave his roommate a funny look which earned the famous Barba eye-roll before he sat in the back behind Erin. Izzy climbed in the backseat with her pillow and blanket. She grabbed the bottle of water she had in her bag and threw back a couple Nyquil capsules and put her pillow against the window.

“Izz put your pillow in my lap and lay down.”

“Raf…”

“It’s fine. We’ve got a long ride. Try to be as comfortable as possible. I don’t mind at all.”

“Okay,” she said as she did what he said. He took her blanket and draped it over her. He started playing with her hair and stroking her face.

“You’re burning up, cariño.”

“I’m fine. I took some medicine.” She didn’t know what he called her but it sounded nice. 

“Get some rest.”

 

Tony was trying not to look in the rearview mirror while his roommate took care of his sister. Tony would look back to see Rafael just staring down at a passed-out Izzy as she slept on his lap. He’d lightly rub her neck, stroke her face, until he himself was relaxed enough to lay his head back and got to sleep himself.

When Tony pulled up to Rafael’s parent’s building in the Bronx, he saw that Rafael was holding Izzy’s hand while they both slept. “Hey, Barba.”

“Hmm?”

“We’re here, man. Erin wake up so Rafael can get out.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“You’re fine, Erin,” Rafael told her as he gently tried to lay Izzy and her pillow in the backseat when he got up.

“Are we home?” Izzy asked, still half knocked out from the Nyquil.

“Nah, sis. We’re dropping Barba off.”

“Oh okay. Bye, Rafael.”

“Bye, Izz. Get to feeling better.”

He got his suitcase out of the trunk. “Hey, Erin?”

“Yeah?”

“Make sure she gets some rest. Will ya?”

“No problem.”

“So, we’ll be back to get you Sunday around 10?”

“Make it 9, Tony. I don’t want to get guilted into going to church with my parents.”

“Okay. We’ll see you then. My mom makes a lot of food. You’re always welcome to come tomorrow.”

“I might.”

“Well just call me and I’ll come pick you up. I know you’ll want to see my sister before Sunday,” Tony teased.

“Shut up,” Rafael said through his teeth.

“Dude she’s knocked out.”

“I don’t care.”

“Okay, my bad. Just call me. You know the number.”

“Okay, yeah.”

“My mom makes plenty of food so we will all probably be taking some leftovers back to school.”

“That’s fine with me. Okay. Let me go in here and see how I’ve disappointed my dad now. Later.”

“Later, bro.”


	6. Chapter 6

“How are you feeling?” Stella asked as Izzy came downstairs Thanksgiving morning.

“A little better, Ma. Sorry for leaving you alone, Erin.”

“Oh, I was fine, Izzy,” Erin said with her mouth full of the omelet Stella had made her. “Tony made sure I wasn’t bored.”

“Uh, okay. Speaking of, where is he? He’s usually on his second omelet by now.”

“He went to get his roommate.”

“Rafael?!”

“Yeah. He got into an argument with his Dad so your brother went to get him.”

“Shit!” Izzy said as she ran back upstairs.

“What was that about, Erin?”

“I have no idea, Mrs. Rossetti,” Erin lied. 

“How many times do I have to tell to call me Stella?”

“Sorry,” Erin said as she blushed.

Izzy jumped in the shower and got clean as quick as she could. She didn’t ask what time Tony had left so she had no idea how much time she had to get ready and looking half-way presentable. Her nose was still red but at least she was dripping like she had been the day before.

 

Rafael, Tony, and Erin were in the kitchen when Izzy came back in with her long dark blond hair in a ponytail, make-up in full effect but not too heavy at the same time, and in her cutest pajamas that consisted of a purple spaghetti strap tank top with white polka-dots with matching pants.

“Someone looks like they’re feeling better,” Rafael remarked as Izzy sat down with a diet coke and Stella bringing her an omelet the way she knew her daughter liked; bacon, onion, bell pepper, jalapenos, and cheese.

“Thanks, Ma. I’m feeling a little better, Rafael. Someone took good care of me yesterday.”

“Really?” He asked with a small smile.

“Yep. Erin made sure I got plenty of fluids, meds, and rest.”

“Oh, is that right? Erin made you feel better?”

They were both grinning like idiots at each other during their playful flirting that Stella definitely noticed. 

“Rafael did you get enough to eat?”

“Yes, Mrs. Rossetti, thank you.”

“I just got on to Erin…”

“Sorry, Stella, but yes I’m full. It was really good.”

“You know, my daughter actually knows how to cook.”

“Ma!”

“You do!”

“She had an excellent teacher,” Rafael said, not taking his eyes off of Izzy. Tony just rolled his eyes. 

“Ma, do you want Erin and I to help you?”

“No. I’ve got everything all ready to go. Tony and Erin helped me prepare everything last night.”

“Are you sure? We can…”

“Why don’t the four of you go watch TV in your room or something? You know I like my peace and quiet in the kitchen. Especially before your dad gets home,” Stella said with a laugh.

“Why did he get called out?”

“One of the guys had a family emergency, Tony. You know how it goes.”

“Well, I’m sure you guys have something else to do besides going to my room and watching TV with me and Erin.”

“I don’t,” Rafael quickly spoke up.

“Uh, yeah, sis. If we can’t find anything besides the parade, you still have a bunch of movies you didn’t take to Massachusetts with you.”

 

They had watched “Clerks” then “Ghostbusters”. Erin and Tony were on a pallet on the floor, leaving Izzy and Rafael on her bed. Izzy was still feeling bad, even though she was trying not to. 

“Cariño?”

“Huh?” Izzy asked after a horrible sneezing fit.

“You need some medicine?”

“Yeah.”

Rafael got up and found the purple bag that held Izzy’s meds. “You want me to get you another diet coke?”

“Please,” she said with a smile.

He walked out to go get the diet coke while Erin and Tony started laughing.

“What is so funny?”

“Why won’t you two just get together already?”

“Oh my god, Tony.”

“What? He’s sitting here taking care of you while you’re pouring snot and hacking like a cat with a hairball. He obviously likes you more than you realize.”

“Will you shut up?”

“Why? You like him. I know you do.”

They all shut up as Rafael walked back inside Izzy’s room with a diet coke and a thermometer he had apparently asked Stella for.

“100.3. Is there any Tylenol in this bag?” Rafael asked as he searched that purple bag. “Oh, here it is. Tony can you get her a cool rag?”

“Yeah sure.”

Izzy fell back asleep after all the medicine she had and the cool rag on her head. Rafael covered her up to her neck as the three of them began to walk out.

“Raffi?”

He was surprised that she didn’t finish his name.

“What is it, Izz?”

“Can you stay with me?”

“Sure, cariño.”

Tony just kind of nodded as he and Erin walked out of Izzy’s room. 

“Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“What does cariño mean?”

He smiled before a small laughed left him. “It means sweetie, basically.”

“Oh okay.”

“You want me to push ‘Ghostbusters’ back in?”

She just sort of nodded as he got up to push the VHS back into the VCR. Once he returned to lay next to her, she snuggled up to him, but not before placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

“It’s not a problem.”


	7. Chapter 7

After Thanksgiving, things had shifted between Izzy and Rafael. The way he had taken care of her, babied her when she was sick was a level of intimacy she didn’t know existed. She didn’t know how to act around him and vice-versa.

“Are you two ever going to give in to your feelings?”  
“Erin…”

“Dude come on! The way he took care of you at Thanksgiving?”

“I know. Yeah, I like him.”

“And he likes you. I don’t understand what the problem is.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well are we going to that bar? You know the one that your brother said never checks ID’s?”

 

“Yeah. Let me get changed.”

 

Izzy and Erin walked into a bar not far from campus and ordered a martini each. They sat at the bar, checking out the “talent” but Izzy couldn’t take her mind off of Rafael. The way he dressed, the way he wore his hair, just everything about him.

Some blond guy came up to Izzy and started talking to her. She tried to pay attention to him but it was so hard. She didn’t want any other guy but her brother’s Cuban-American roommate. The more the guy kept talking, even though Izzy was trying to blow him off, the more aggravated she got.

“You know what? I could use another drink,” she told him to try and get him away from her.

 

“Hey, yo you guys see that?” One of Tony and Rafael’s roommates, Zack asked as he, Rafael, and their friend Ted sat in a booth.

“I fucking saw it,” Rafael said as he got up and went to Izzy.

“Raf…”

“Just trust me,” he said as he pulled her closer to him.

“What?”

“Just do it,” he said as he took her in his arms and kissed her. It was soft but still full of passion. Rafael opened his eyes to see the guy handing the drink back to the bartender and the bartender pour it out before he pulled away from her.

Her knees were literally weak from the kiss. “What was that about?”

“Just say thank you.”

“Uh, thank you?”

“You’re welcome. Zack, Ted, and I watched that guy put something in that martini he was bringing to you.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. I felt the need to intervene.”

“Well, thank you,” she said with more sincerity.

“Like I said, ‘you’re welcome’. You and Erin have a good night.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Whoa! What do you mean ‘have a good night’?”

“I’m about to go back over to my friends. Here is a safe martini for you,” he said as he took the glass from the bartender and handed it to her. Erin had already made her way over to Zack and Ted, leaving Izzy and Rafael alone.

“What is going on?”

“You’ve been avoiding me for almost a month.”

“No, I haven’t,” she responded.

“You know I’ve liked you since before school actually started.”

“You were such an asshole to me. A cocky asshole at that.”

“Yeah, I know I didn’t make the best first or second impression on you but…”

She didn’t even let him finish before she pulled him back to her for another kiss. This one was deeper and actually more relaxed. His hands made their way to her hips, even grabbing her ass, as they continued kissing, not caring if anyone was watching. 

“Okay, wow,” he said when they finally broke apart.

“You’ve been avoiding me, too, Raf.”

“Yeah, I have been, I guess. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she smiled as her arms rested around his neck and his hands stayed on her hips. “Yeah you were cocky as fuck when we first met. Why is that, by the way?”

“I was trying to playfully disarm you, so to speak. You didn’t fall for it though.”

“I’m smarter than that.”

“You most definitely are. Especially considering the last girl I slept with was fake from her hair…”

“You know what, Raf? I don’t need to hear that.”

“I’m sorry. So, it looks like Erin and Zack are getting along pretty well. You want to go back to your room?”

“Don’t think that…”

“Nunca, cariño. We can just go hang out.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

 

Erin came in to find Rafael and Izzy asleep on Izzy’s bed in the same clothes they left the bar in. “Lethal Weapon 3” was playing on HBO.

She took a blanket and covered the two of them up.


	8. Chapter 8

“What time does your flight leave from Logan, Erin?”

“4:00. Your brother’s gonna give me a ride.”

“Really?”

“What?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“It’s not like that. He asked what my plans for Christmas was and I told him. He offered to take me to the airport so I don’t have to spend any of my allowance on a cab.”

“Okay.”

“That gives you a night alone, if you know what I mean.”

“We haven’t even been on an actual date yet.”

“Are you going to make him wait?”

“I don’t know. It’ll just happen when it happens.”

“Are you scared?”

“Yeah a little actually. I mean, okay I’ve been with guys before but they were…”

“Terrible?”

“I mean come on; half a joint, 3 pumps and an apology? I wouldn’t think that would be anything to brag about.”

“True,” Erin laughed. 

“I don’t expect it to be perfect. The first time is going to be awkward. I just…I don’t want to rush anything.”

“Aww.”

“Shut up. Shouldn’t you be packing?”

 

“Are you seriously gonna sleep the whole way home?”

“You don’t let me drive your precious Mustang soooo….yeah, I am.”

“Well I guess that’s better than the two of you in the backseat, making out.”

“Shut up,” Rafael said as he popped Tony on the back of the head.

“My hair, man!”

“Whatever. Just fucking drive.”

“I’m glad I’m not the only annoyed by him,” Izzy laughed as she covered up.

 

“So, what are you plans while we’re back in New York?”

“I’m probably going to stay at my Abuelita’s. My mom will come over there to see me, I’m sure.”

“How bad was it at Thanksgiving?”

“He just pisses me off to no end. My mom and I were having a conversation, not concerning him but that didn’t stop him from butting in. I just don’t like being around him.”

“Damn, man. I couldn’t imagine.” Tony didn’t know specifics, he just knew Rafael didn’t like his dad at all.

“I’ll probably take your sister out on an actual date though.”

“Bout fucking time.”

“You’re really okay with this?”

“She’s 19, you’re 21. Yeah, I worry about my sister but I know she can take care of herself. I just don’t want any specifics. That’s all I ask.”

“When have you known me to brag…”

“Dude.”

“Okay, yeah after Yelina and I broke up, I went a little off the rails, so to speak.”

“A little? You said you were done with relationships and all you wanted was sex.”

“And how long did that last?”

“Up until you met my sister.”

“And that’s been how long ago? 4 months?”

“You haven’t been with anybody in 4 months? Damn.”

“I’ve been concentrating on the girl asleep in the backseat,” Rafael laughed. 

“Just don’t hurt her.”

“You have my word, Tony.”

“And don’t get her pregnant before she finishes law school.”

“We haven’t even…”

“Ah, ah, ah! No details!”

“I was just…”

“No!”

“But…”

“No!”

“Fine. You win, Tony.”

“You do seem to really like her though.”

“I do,” he said as he turned to look back at her, still asleep. “She’s probably a bigger smart ass than I am.”

“Oh, she’ll give you a run for your money, that’s for sure.”

“I figured that out that night in the library.”

 

“Hey, sis?”

“What?”

“Your man’s getting out. You might want to tell him bye.”

“Oh okay.”

The passenger seat was already leaned forward so she got out while Rafael got his stuff out of the trunk.

“Did your parents move?”

“No,” he laughed. “My grandmother lives in this building. I’m gonna stay with her.”

“Oh okay.”

“You gonna miss me?”

“Are you serious?”

“Oh, come on, now. You think I’m going to change that much?”

“God you’re an ass sometimes.”

“True but you like me.”

“Anyways!”

“Come here. Give Papi a kiss.”

“Oh my god!” She said as she slapped his arm. They were both laughing so hard.

“I’m kidding. Seriously though, you want to do something tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. I’ll call you later this evening and we’ll figure it out.”

“Sounds good.”

She couldn’t help but think of what he had said just before that and started laughing as he kissed her.

“I ruined it, didn’t I?”

“I’ve never had a guy say something like that. Okay. I’m fine.”

But she wasn’t.

“I give up.”

“If you hadn’t said…”

He surprised her with another kiss that time and she was not laughing.

“Okay, well. Call me later?”

“I will.”

“Will you two hurry up?”

“Ugh, I better go,” she said as she rolled her eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

After lunch at his favorite Chinese place near his Abuelita’s apartment, he let Izzy pick a movie. There wasn’t much out that looked very interesting other than “Waiting to Exhale” but he didn’t argue. 

“I could see you doing something like that,” he whispered when Angela Bassett’s character torched her cheating husband’s clothes and car.

“Well keep that in mind,” she laughed.

He just smiled as he put his arm around her and she settled into him.

“So, what are we going to do now?”

“I’m not sure. I thought we’d just kind of see how we felt after the movie.”

“We could go back to Brooklyn?”

“We can do that. Your parents won’t care?”

“My mom is at my aunt’s helping her finish wrapping presents and my dad is at the fire station until Christmas Eve.”

 

They were in her bed, making out when Tony just barged in her room.

“Hey, sis. Whoa!”

“What does a closed door mean?”

“Sorry, I heard the tv going. Thought you might’ve been asleep. My bad.”

“What do you want?”

“I was gonna see if you guys wanted to go grab a beer at Uncle Vinnie’s. I mean it’s the middle of the day, there’s no one there so he’ll serve you.”

“Uh, Raf?”

“I was kind of enjoying what we were doing here,” he whispered making her laugh.

“You know what? If you want, you guys can just meet me. Fair enough?”

“Okay, Tony. Shut my door.”

“Gladly.”

“Now where were we?”

“I think, I was right here,” he said as he started back in on her neck causing soft moans to escape from her. He was whispering things to her in Spanish. She had no idea what he was saying but it was still having the effect on her he desired. “We need to stop.”

“Uh, okay.”

“I don’t have anything with me. That’s why,” he said as he caught his breath.

“I understand,” she smiled. 

“I’m sorry,” he said with a fake pout on his face.

“It’s perfectly fine. You want to go meet Tony?”

“I guess we can.”

“Come on, you big baby,” she laughed as she dragged him off her bed.

“Hey?”

“What?”

“You know I really like you, right?”

“I know, Raf.”

“I don’t want you to think that we have to…until you’re ready is fine with me.”

“Well if you would’ve had something it might’ve been today.”

“It’s just my responsibility?”

“I’m taking care of it on my end, too. Have been for 3 years. Just can’t be too careful.”

“Come on, let’s go before your brother gets lonely.”

“I would hate for that to happen.”

 

They were walking to her Uncle’s bar when she heard someone calling her name.

“Antonio?!”

“I knew that was you,” her friend of 7 years said as he picked her up when he hugged her. “You look great. Harvard agrees with you.”

“Look at you. Michigan seems to be treating you well.”

“Yeah. I like it up there.”

“Oh, I’m being so rude. Antonio Dawson, this is Rafael Barba.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too, Antonio.”

“I hope I didn’t make you mad when I hugged your girl.”

“No, it’s fine.”

Izzy could tell there was a quick change in Rafael’s demeanor though.

“So, Izz how long are you home for?”

“I’m not real sure. Depends on my brother.”

“Well we should get together before you leave. Catch up.”

“Sure. Just give me a call.”

“Okay. I will. I gotta go get Gabby from her friends house. My dad doesn’t like her being in the neighborhood alone.”

“Yeah, it’s not like when we were her age.”

“Not at all. So, I’ll call you.”

“Sounds good.”

“So, who was that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean is he an ex-boyfriend or maybe a gay friend?”

“Antonio is not gay and we’ve been friends since we were 12.”

“How do you know he’s not gay?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

“But you never dated him?”

“You’ve never slept with somebody you weren’t dating? Don’t start getting jealous.”

“I’m not. I was just asking questions. Wanted to now who the hell this guy was that picked the girl I’m dating up off the ground as he hugged her.”

“He’s just a friend. Always has been. The one time we got together was sort of saying good-bye because we were both leaving for college.”

“And how are you going to tell him good-bye this time? Or at spring break? The summer even?”

“Will you stop? You are being ridiculous,” she said with a small laugh. 

“You’re right. Sorry,” he said as he echoed her laugh. “I’m an idiot sometimes.”

“Well,” she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck, “you don’t ever have to worry about me. When I’m with someone, that’s who I’m with. No one else.”

“Okay.”

“Does Papi need a kiss to make him feel better?”

“God,” he laughed. “You know I was just kidding about that.”

“Come here.”

“Again? Really?”

“Tony we were just coming to meet you.”

“You don’t want to go in there.”

“Why?”

“Our cousins showed up.”

“Which ones?”

“Angelo, Donna, and Vinnie Jr. I’m not dealing with their loud asses. I get a fucking migraine being around them.”

“Sadly, my brother is right. They are very annoying.”

“Damn.”

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“I gotta go. I didn’t realize what time it is. My mom’s coming to my grandmothers in about 30 minutes.”

“Oh okay.”

“I’ll call you later if that’s okay.”

“Sure. Have fun.”

“Yeah. Fun.”


	10. Chapter 10

“Ma, it’s 7 in the morning. We’re not little kids anymore,” Tony whined as he and Izzy made their way downstairs Christmas morning.

“Junior this is your mother’s favorite holiday so stop whining and get your ass down here,” Anthony told him, much to Izzy’s amusement.

“Keep laughing, smart ass and you can take the train home.”

“What the fuck ever. Pop wouldn’t allow that, would you?”

“No, I would not. Now come on you two.”

Izzy’s last present was a small box with a ribbon around it but no name.

“What’s this?”

“I don’t know, kid. Open it.”

“Oh…my…god. Seriously?”

“I said I wouldn’t allow you to take the train back to school like your brother threatened didn’t I?”

“Where is it?”

“Go outside.”

“Get your coat,” Stella instructed before Izzy could make it outside.

She did what here mother said and ran out to find a brand-new silver Camaro in the driveway next to her mom’s explorer.

“Oh my god, Dad. Seriously?”

“It’s all yours.”

“I didn’t get a car until last year, my sophomore year of college by the way.”

“Shut it and let your sister enjoy this.”

“Sorry, Ma.”

“Now, first speeding ticket and you’ll take the keys to your brother.”

“Okay, Pop.”

“Be very careful and when I say that it’s not because I’m worried about the car. I’m worried about you. These can be replaced, you can’t.”

“I know.”

“Absolutely no drinking and driving. That goes for you and if you let your brother, Erin, or Rafael drive it. They are not to have any alcohol in their systems. Capisce?”

“Got it. I gotta go call Erin.”

“What about Rafael?”

“Uh, Tony can you come with me?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh, fine,” her brother said as he rolled his eyes, following his sister back inside and upstairs.

“What was that about?”

“Stella, honey, I quit asking myself those questions long ago,” Anthony laughed.

“They are pretty great kids, huh?”

“The girls pretty good.”

“You need to stop.”

“No, they are. Come on, let’s get back inside. Who knows what those two are up to.”

 

“Why do I always have to call him for you?”

“When?”

“Yesterday and he’s the one that answered the phone.”

“Yeah but this could be the time his grandmother or even his mother could answer.”

“So? You have never been scared of grandparents or parents before. OHHHHH!”

“What?”

“You’re falling for him.”

“I am not. We’ve only been dating for barely two weeks.”

“But the way you two flirted up until then. He took care of you when you were sick at Thanksgiving. You love him,” Tony sang, mockingly. He kept on mocking his sister and his roommate.

“Alright that’s it,” Izzy said as she tackled her brother. “You give up?” She asked as she twisted his arm behind him.

“Nope not until you admit it. You loooovvvveeee him. Ow! Ow!”

“How about now?”

“Nope. Never.”

“Oh my god, will you two ever grow up?”

“He started it, Ma.”

“I don’t care who started it. Let him go.”

“Fine.”

“Ha ha!” Tony sneered. Izzy jumped at him. “MA!”

“Elizabeth stop. Tony, make the phone call for your sister and stop teasing her.”

“Give me the phone. Scaredy cat.”

“Fuck off.”

“Hey Barba, man. Yeah you know it. Okay here she is.”

“Jerk-off. Hey.”

“Why did you have your brother call for you again?”

“Stop laughing.”

“I think it’s cute but you could call yourself. Abuelita does know about you.”

“Really?”

“Of course. You think I don’t talk about you?”

“I guess I didn’t think about it.”

“Well, now you know. So how’s your Christmas been?”

“It’s been really good. Uh, I got a car.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah, your brother told me you were getting one. He was kinda pissy cause you know he had to wait until his sophomore year of college to get a car.” 

“Oh yeah I know.”

They talked for a little longer before he had to get off the phone because his mom had showed up. “Hey, I got an idea,” he said before they hung up.

“What’s that?”

“Since we don’t have to wait on your brother, why don’t we go back to school Wednesday. You said Erin wouldn’t be back until Friday, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So, what do you think?”

“Sounds like a good idea to me. I’ll pick you up around 12?”

“Make it 11.”

“Okay, I’ll be there.”

 

She pulled up to his grandmother’s building to find him waiting for her outside. “Where’s your stuff?”

“Upstairs. Come on,” he said as he took her hand.

“Raf…”

“Come on,” he said as serious as he could.

She was taken aback by his slight forcefulness but also a little turned on at the same time. She grew nervous as they walked up the six flights of stairs. “No wonder your ass is so nice,” she joked trying to calm herself down.

“How else,” he said with that smirk. “Okay. Are you calm?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s going to be fine. She’s going to love you,” he said as he opened the door and led her inside.

“Is this her?”

“Si Abuelita. This is Izzy Rossetti, the girl I’ve been telling you about.”

“More like the girl you haven’t shut up about. It’s so nice to finally put a face with a name and such a beautiful face at that,” the short lady with glasses said. 

“Izz, this is my grandmother, Catalina Diaz.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Diaz.”

“You can call me either Lina or Abuelita.”

“Okay.”

“Come on. Sit. You two need to eat before you take such a long trip back to school. Why my boy has to go to college so far away…”

“Abuelita you know why.”

“I know. I just wish you would’ve went somewhere around here so I could see you more.”

“I’ll be home in the summer just like always.”

“Well I guess that will have to do.”

They ate the Ropa Vieja Lina had made which Izzy instantly fell in love with. She had eaten Cuban food before but not like this. 

Lina showed her pictures of Rafael when he was a baby and a kid, much to his embarrassment. “Oh my god, look at your cheeks,” Izzy teased.

“Hey, I’ve seen your baby pictures. You weren’t exactly a small baby.”

“But I was cute, just like you were.”

“Were?”

Izzy and Lina both laughed at his obvious offense to the ‘were’. 

“Abuelita I hate to do this…”

“I know. You need to start back.”

“Yeah. I’m gonna get my stuff. I can leave you two alone and you won’t talk about me anymore.”

“Just go, Rafael,” Izzy laughed.

“He really likes you.”

“I really like him, too.”

“I haven’t seen him like this in years. Not since Yelina. Just promise me you won’t do to him what she did.”

Izzy didn’t know the story of Yelina except they were together for a few years and she broke up with him about a year before. “I’m not sure what you mean, I guess.”

“That grilla (bad woman) broke his heart. She had been cheating on him for a year with his oldest friend with he was away at school. It was terrible. I was scared he’d shut himself off from finding someone after that. I guess he didn’t. Just take good care of him and his heart.”

“I promise,” Izzy told her while choking back tears. He hadn’t went into detail about things like that with her but she wasn’t going to push him. He could tell her when he was ready.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

“Okay, you two be careful.”

“We will.”

“Call me when you get there.”

“I will.” 

She hugged them both before they left.

“You okay?” He asked as they walked to her car.

“I’m fine.”

“This is a nice car.”

“You want to drive?”

“Are you serious? That means you’re going to control the stereo.”

“I’d control it if I was driving.”

“Well, not all your music is terrible.”

“Here,” she said as she tossed the keys to him.

“God, you’re short,” he teased when he sat in the driver seat.

“You aren’t exactly tall yourself, Barba.”

“Well, I make up for it.”

“Is that right? And how is that?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”


	11. Chapter 11

“So, I guess I’ll drive over to my building and unload my things that way you can get back to your dorm.”

“Or you can drop your stuff and just drive both of us to my dorm. I mean Erin is gone. We can relax and hang out just the two of us.”

“Okay, we’ll do that.”

He ran his things up to his room and drove them back to Izzy’s dorm.

“Want to watch a movie or just find something on TV?”

“Whatever you want to do, mi amor.”

“First thing I want to do is get comfortable.”

“That sounds like a good idea. I should’ve just brought my suitcase with me so I could have my pajamas.”

“What’s wrong with your boxers and your undershirt?”

“I guess that’ll be okay. Just don’t get tempted if you happen to see what I have to offer.”

“Rafael!”

“I’m just warning you beforehand.”

“Same goes for you,” she said as she took off the sweater she was wearing.

Yeah he had felt them but he hadn’t seen her breasts until then; her bra wasn’t exactly covering them up.

“Something catch your eye?”

“Get your shirt on.”

“What’s the matter?”

“You are looking for trouble,” he said as walked over to her, pulling her to him. He was biting his bottom lip as his breathing got harder. They started kissing as he backed her over to her bed and laid her down. They were undressing each other as things progressed.

“Wait, wait.”

“I know you don’t have anything.”

“Actually,” he said as he reached for his wallet, pulling out a condom in a gold wrapper. 

“Holy shit. Are you serious?”

“Oh, I wasn’t kidding when I said I made up for my lack of height. Are you sure you want to keep going?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Okay then. I just wanted to make sure.”

He took his time as he pushed into her. It took a little time getting used to but soon he was all the way inside of her. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he made love to her. She moaned his name as she ran her hands through his hair. “You feel so good,” he whispered.

“So, do you. You’re…so…big.” She was trying to maintain herself but her body had this feeling like fireworks were going off under her skin. She had never felt that with anybody else. “Raf?”

“Yeah? Are you okay?”

“You want to let me do some of the work?”

“Sure,” he said as he pulled out of her and laid on his back while she climbed on top of him. She knew that is dick was big enough to hit her g-spot just right but she also needed the release she could get from her clit. She rode him until she couldn’t take it anymore. “That’s it. Let it out, cariño,” he said as she moaned his name while she came which caused him to right along with her. She bent down and kissed him once they finished.

 

They didn’t say anything as they curled up next to each other after their first time in her twin bed. It was against the wall so no one had to worry about rolling off of it. It was like they both wanted to ask the other a question but were too scared to. Rafael finally bit the bullet.

“You don’t think we slept together too soon, do you?”

“No, why?”

“I know some girls can feel bad…”

“Look, the way I see it is a guy can dump you if you wait until the 15th date to sleep with him just as easily as he can if you do it with him on the first. I mean we’ve been dating for a couple of weeks, had our first real date a few days ago sure, but we’ve liked each other for how long?” 

“Okay. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t have any regrets.”

“None what-so-ever. You?”

“None. I’ve been thinking about this for a few months.”

“And now that you got it?”

“I want it again.”

“Already?”

“Maybe in about…20-30 minutes?”

“Did you bring enough condoms?”

“Fuck I hope so,” he laughed. “I’m glad I thought to grab them, just in case something happened.”

“You were hoping for it, huh?”

“No. I just wanted to be prepared. I mean you’re the one that started stripping in front of me. What was I supposed to do?”

They both just started laughing.

“You know I can’t remember being with someone that I could have sex with and then joke around with afterwards. It’s kind of fun,” he smiled as he kissed her neck.


	12. Chapter 12

1996

It had been a little over a month since things started moving forward with Rafael and Izzy. They were the typical new couple, when they weren’t studying or he wasn’t working, they were together. They’d go to the movies, grab some food, or just lay around in her dorm or his suite. Erin had gotten smart and would go to sleep with headphones on when he’d fall asleep in their dorm after she woke up one night and even though they were trying to be quiet, she still knew what they were doing. Izzy had heard her and Zack a few times so she couldn’t really say anything. 

“I’ve had to work all week. You can’t spend Friday night with me?”

“Rafa it’s Erin’s birthday. She’s my best friend and she’s not spending her 19th alone.”

“I know. You’re right.”

“You’re just horny.”

“I am not. I just want to see you. We’ve seen each other in our political science class but that’s really all this week.”

“I know but I am going to make sure she has a good birthday since she’s all the way out here with no one.”

“You’re a good friend and I can’t fault you for that. Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow, I promise.”

“Okay. I’ll see you then.”

 

Erin came out of the bathroom dressed and ready to go. 

“You looking to get laid tonight or something?”

“Why? Are you offering?”

“Well get me drunk enough.”

These two had become really close during the first of semester of school. Erin never had a lot of real friends in school once the girls found out the truth that she wasn’t actually Hank’s goddaughter but more like his foster daughter and her mother was a drug addict. Izzy never cared about stuff like that. She was the type that could be friends with the richest kid in school, along with the poorest. Her parents had always made sure that she and Tony knew how fortunate they were to have parents with good jobs, even though Anthony’s job was very dangerous most of the time. 

“So how are things going with Barba, as if I don’t know?” Erin laughed as they had dinner not far from campus. “Well actually I don’t since I never get any time alone with you anymore.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I understand. It’s nice to have a boyfriend.”

“What happened with you and Zack?”

“He was talking about coming to Chicago on spring break. You know I’m not trying to have someone so far up my ass after a month.”

“Are you…”

“No. You guys are a different story. You’re making up for all that time you flirted and didn’t do anything, even though your brother told him it was okay after that party. So anyways, you didn’t answer my question.”

“Come on, it’s your birthday.”

“And I want to hear my best friend tell me how things are going with her boyfriend.”

“They’re going good. He’s great.”

“That’s awesome. Your brother has told me that Barba would drive him crazy talking about you before you guys finally got together.”

“You talk to Tony on a regular basis?”

“No.”

“Erin.”

“Sometimes he calls and we talk.”

“Hey, whatever floats your boat. Just don’t do it with me in the room.”

“Izzy! I would never…”

“You have.”

“I mean because it’s your brother. I have enough sense.”

“I wonder if you’re talking to my brother.”

“Hey, he’s not a bad guy.”

“No, he’s alright. You guys have fun. He didn’t stand in Rafael’s way so I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Thanks.” 

 

After dinner, they went and saw the latest Chris Farley/David Spade movie “Black Sheep”.

“Okay, I’m sorry but ‘Tommy Boy’ was so much better.”

“I have to agree, Erin. I mean this was good but ‘Tommy Boy’ was the best.”

“Your brother is paging me. You’re not going to be mad if I go hang out with him?”

“Nah. There’s a payphone. Call him and tell him to have Rafael me outside of their building.”

Erin did just that and relayed that Tony said Rafael looked like a kid on Christmas as he grabbed his overnight bag to start throwing his stuff in it.

“That boy is in love with you.”

“He’s 21. He’s not a boy.”

“Okay, that MAN is in love with you.”

“Shut up,” Izzy laughed as she pulled up to find Rafael coming out of the door of his building.

“Have fun,” Erin laughed as she got out of Izzy’s car. “Your woman awaits,” she laughed as Rafael got to the car. 

“Funny. Happy Birthday, Erin.”

“Thanks, Barba.”

Rafael got in and shut the door. Before Izzy could put her car in drive, he took her face in his hand and kissed her. His tongue massaged hers as she held the hand that held her left cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Rafa.”

“So, you just gonna sit here all night or are we going to your dorm?”

“You…ass!”

“Well?”

“I’m gonna kill you.”

“No, you’re not,” he smirked. “You like my dick too much.”

“Have you been drinking?”

“No, I have not. I was about to start on that bottle of Jack until Erin called. You’re lucky.”

“If you say so.”

 

They got to her dorm and he didn’t waste any time. He picked her up and carried her to her bed. She didn’t know what came over her as she grabbed his hair and pulled him away from her by it.

“Fuck me, Papi.”

“Si, mi amor. How do you want it?”

“Hard and fast.”

He couldn’t get the condom on fast enough. She was trying to be quiet but he was making it so hard as he pounded into her. Her almost 20-year-old body had never felt so alive as it did when they had sex. There was something about this green-eyed Cuban that drove her insane. It wasn’t just the sex, there was something else going on.

“Fuck! Oh god, cariño, you feel so good,” he moaned. “Oh god. I love you.”

She didn’t know what to say at this admission. They had sex plenty of times but he never said that. It threw her off a little bit but she stayed on track as best as she could. It could’ve been just the heat of the moment and she didn’t want to admit she felt the same if that’s all it was.

After he came and took the condom off, he took her in his arms, kissing the back of her neck. “I meant that, you know?”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I love you, Izz.”

“I love you, too, Rafa.”

“I’m sorry it came out like that.”

“It’s fine. I just wasn’t sure if you…”

“I did. I know we’ve only been officially dating a little over a month but you’re all I think about, other than school,” he chuckled.

“You really love me?”

“Yes! You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met in my life.”

“Prettier than Yelina?”

“No doubt. You’ve got the looks, the personality. You are everything I’ve ever wanted in a girl. I’m lucky to call you mine.”


	13. Chapter 13

It was spring break. Rafael, Izzy, and Erin drove back in her car, leaving Tony by himself. Rafael sat in the backseat while his girl and her best friend sang 80s songs as loud as they could. He didn’t mind. He loved seeing the girl he loved happy. He even joined in on a few songs.

“Okay baby, we’re here.”

“Yeah I know,” he said, with a little bit of defeat in his voice.

“You want me to come over tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I’ll call you and tell you what time.”

Rafael kissed Izzy hard and passionate against her car after he got his suitcase. “I love you, cariño.”

“I love you, too.”

“You and Erin behave.”

“Whatever could you be talking about?”

“You know.”

“She’s waiting on Tony to show up. I’m just waiting to see you tomorrow and the rest of this week.”

“You will, mi amor.”

 

The next day, Izzy waited for Rafael to call but he never did. Erin and Tony had went to the movies but she didn’t want to leave in case he called. 

It had been 3 days and she still hadn’t heard from her boyfriend that she loved so much. She finally decided to swallow her fears and call his parents apartment.

“Hello?” A sweet-sounding voice answered.

“Uh, yeah, can I speak to Rafael, please?” She stuttered out.

“Is this Izzy?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I’m his mother, Lucia. Hate to meet you over the phone.”

“Me too.”

“Hang on. I’ll get him.”

Izzy waited as she listened to Rafael and his mother speak in Spanish. She finally understood when she heard him say, “Fine! Hello?”

“Hey.”

“What is it?”

“Uh, I haven’t heard from you since I dropped you off. I thought we had plans…”

“Well plans change. I’ve gotta go.”

“Uh okay. I…”

She didn’t even get to finish as he hung up the phone. She hated the fact that tears filled her eyes. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Erin asked.

Izzy told her about the phone conversation. “Has Tony said anything?”

“No. He said Rafael was going to introduce you to his parents this week. What the hell is going on?”

“I don’t know. He seemed so angry. I didn’t do anything.”

“He was so happy the other day.”

Izzy just sat and cried while her best friend comforted for about an hour. She finally decided she’d call back. Maybe she just called at a bad time. Rafael actually answered that time. “Hello?”

“Hey.”

“What?”

Izzy’s heart sank when he said that. He was always happy to talk to her before. “Uh, I just wanted to see…”

“See what?”

“You know what, Rafael? I can’t do this. It’s been days that I haven’t heard from you and then you’re treating me so terrible.”

“So, what are you saying?” He asked in a very hateful tone.

“I’m saying maybe this isn’t right anymore.”

“Fine!” She could tell he slammed the phone down hard.

Erin and Izzy headed back to Harvard the next day. Erin had to drive most of the way because Izzy stayed up most of the night crying.

“Come on. Get in here and lay down.”

“Maybe I should’ve called Dawson while we were in Brooklyn.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“He’s back with Yelina. I know he is.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Why else would he treat me like that? We had so much fun on the way home. He didn’t give off any indication that something was wrong. I’ve seen her picture. She looks like some Hawaiian goddess.”

“So? He loves you.”

 

“Damn, Raf. You get into a fight?” Tony asked as he picked his roommate up before they headed back to Harvard. 

“Something like that.”

“Well it’s just a black eye. Surely you did worse.”

“I did…to my dad.”

Tony slammed on his breaks. “What?”

“I told you my dad was a dick.”

“That’s fucked up! What did my sister say?”

“She broke up with me a few days ago.”

“No. No way.”

“Yep.”

“Did you tell her what happened?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You think your sister would still want me if she knew…”

“Dude my sister loves you. You think anything like that matters?”

Rafael just kind of shrugged. “I’ve never touched my dad until this week. He asked if I could hold onto a woman for once.”

“Fuck, man. Have you lived with that kind of shit your whole life?”

“Pretty much.”

“I’m sorry, bro.”

 

The week after spring break, Izzy skipped the political science class she shared with Rafael and Tony. He missed her like crazy and she missed him the same way but she didn’t understand why he was so hateful to her. 

It had been almost two weeks since she broke up with Rafael, both of them were miserable.

“You’re not going to come out tonight?” Erin asked as she got ready to meet Tony.

“Nah. It’s raining. I don’t feel like that.”

“He might be there.”

“That’s why I don’t want to go out. I can’t handle that right now.”

Tony knocked on the door and Erin let him in. He hated seeing his sister in her pj bottoms and her gray Harvard sweatshirt. “Squirt?”

“Hey, bro.”

“Just call him.”

“Why?”

“Look…you have no idea what was going on.”

“And you do? Did he tell you to tell me that he wasn’t with Yelina?”

“He wasn’t! You know I wouldn’t put up with him doing that to you. Don’t be so hard on him.”

“You guys just go. Have fun.”

“Fine. If you want to miss out on someone that actually loves you, unlike Nick, be my guest,” Tony said as he and Erin walked out. Erin came back in and hugged Izzy. 

“I love you,” she whispered.

“Love you, too.”

 

Izzy was listening to the “Waiting to Exhale” soundtrack as it contained a lot of break-up songs. She missed Rafael so much. She was damn near in tears when she heard something hitting her window. She thought maybe it was hail because they were expecting bad storms. The sound kept hitting her window so she finally got up and went to see what was going on.

“What the fuck…Rafael?”

There he was, soaking wet in a black button up, jeans, and a pair of black dress shoes. He looked so fucking hot to her.

“What are you doing?!”

“I need to talk to you!”

“Do I really have to tell you how cliché this is?!”

“Don’t care! Can I explain myself?”

She thought for a minute as the rain fell on her head. “Okay!”

“Yeah?!”

“Come up!”

She missed him so bad. At this point, she didn’t care if he was lying. She just wanted to feel him close to her. She decided to meet him before he made his way up to the 5th floor. 

“I love you so much, mi Corazon,” he said as they met on the 3rd floor.

“Come on. You need to get out of these wet clothes.”

They got to Izzy’s and Erin’s dorm and she stripped his wet clothes off of him as they kissed.

“I’ve missed you, Izz.”

“Then why did you…”

“I got into a fight with my dad. When I say fight, I mean an actual physical altercation. He gave me a black eye and I did the same to him.”

“Rafa…”

“I couldn’t stand for you to see me like that.”

“Baby,” she said as she took his face and turned him to her so she could kiss him.

“When I say I hate my dad, I have reasons. This wasn’t his first time to lay his hands on me.”

“Raf, why didn’t you tell me…”

“I didn’t want you to think that I was a pussy for not standing up to my dad.”

“Baby, I would never think that,” she said as she stroked his face.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. I love you. You will always be my baby.”

“Okay, Mariah,” he laughed. “I’m sorry for how I treated you…”

“Why didn’t you go to Abuelita’s?”

“Abuelita’s, huh?” He laughed.

“She loves me. What can I say?”

“I love you so why wouldn’t she? Please…I know I’m about to sound like a…pussy basically…but please don’t leave me.”

“I’m not going to, Rafa.”

The CD she had playing started over and Whitney Houston’s “Exhale” started playing. Izzy was in her PJs, Rafael in his boxers and a white t-shirt.

“Dance with me, mi amor?”

“Of course,” Izzy smiled. “I love you, Rafael Eduardo Barba.”

“And I love you, Elizabeth Michelle Rossetti.”


	14. Chapter 14

“OH MY GOD!!” Izzy yelled as the aesthetician ripped the last wax strip from her vagina.

Erin felt the same way as they met each other in the waiting room. “That hurt so fucking bad.”

“Did you hear me, Erin?”

“That was you?!”

“Hell yeah. She took everything from me.”

“What?!”

“I was robbed!” Izzy said as they both started laughing.

“So, your brother is coming to our dorm and you’re…”

“Going to Rafael’s room.”

“You think he’ll enjoy his trip to Brazil?”

“I guess we will see.”

 

Rafael was kissing and sucking on Izzy’s neck as she started pushing him further down. Those green eyes looked at her the more she pushed him down. He slid her jeans and her panties off; shocked to find that Izzy was completely bald in that area.

“You didn’t do that…”

“No. The waxer didn’t quite understand what I wanted.”

He kissed all the way around her smooth pussy before his tongue made contact with her clit.

“Oh, god!”

“Shh, mi amor,” he whispered as he stuck two fingers in her mouth. They both loved the way she sucked them. He wanted to put his dick in her mouth but he was enjoying the sounds and the movements she was making as he went down on her. Her clitoral orgasm was so strong, it was all over Rafael’s face.

“Turn over, cariño.”

She did what he said and got on her knees. He bent down and sucked hard at a spot on her neck. “What do you want?”

“Fuck me.”

“Yeah?”

“Please?”

“Please, who?”

She thought for a minute, wondering what he was talking about while he slowly rubbed her clit. “Please, Papi.”

He grabbed her by her neck and slammed into her. “Oh…god…Papi. Just like that.”

“You want me to keep fucking you, putita?”

“Yes, Papi! Harder. Oh yeah, just like that,” she moaned.

“You like this big dick?”

“Yes, I do, Papi.”

“Are you about to come?” He asked as he rubbed her clit harder while his dick kept hitting her on the inside.

“God…yes!!”

“Come for your Papi.”

It wasn’t as if he had any actual control over when she had an orgasm but he seemed to always know when she was right there and could push her over the edge. Once he started going limp, he pulled out of her and threw the condom he had filled in the trash by his bed.

“Were you satisfied, mi amor?” He asked as he kissed her forehead.

“Like you would not believe. I guess it’s my turn next.”

“Whenever you’re ready. You taste so good,” he told her before their lips met. 

“I love you, Rafa.”

“I love you, more.”

“If you say so,” she smiled.


	15. Chapter 15

Izzy and Erin got their stuff packed up before they headed home for the summer. Hank and Cindy drove out to help Erin take her stuff back to Chicago.

“Izzy it’s good to see you," he said as he gave her a hug.

“You, too, Hank.”

“Thanks for taking such good care of our girl. She’s always needed a friend like you.”

“I do what I can. You’re going to let her come to New York this summer, right?”

“She’ll be there the second week of July and then she’s your problem until school starts,” he joked.

“Gee, thanks Hank,” Erin laughed.

“You know I’m kidding. Okay, kid, I’ll take this last box downstairs and we’ll be waiting on you.”

“Thanks. Well…”

“This year was fun.”

“Yeah it was and we are going to do it all over again after summer break.”

“Yes, we are. That lottery is rigged. How else did we end up together again,” Izzy laughed. “Okay, so I’ll see you in 6 weeks.”

“And your uncle is okay with hiring me?”

“Of course. He’s always busy in the summer so he’ll like having the extra help, instead of just me and Tony.”

“Okay. And your parents…”

“Mom is looking forward to having someone in the guestroom.”

“Okay your ass better be at JFK July…”

“I’ll be there. Now go.”

“Oh, give me a hug.”

“Page me when you get home.”

 

“Is that everything, kiddo?”

“Yeah, Dad. Thanks for coming up here.”

“Of course. I’m gonna go over and see if your brother has anything I need to load up before I head back. You’ll be behind me?”

“Yeah. I gotta go pick up Rafael and his stuff.”

“Okay. You two be careful.”

 

“Are you nervous?”

“I don’t know,” Izzy shrugged as they got closer to Rafael’s parents’ apartment. 

“Mami is excited to finally meet you.”

“And your Dad?”

“He should be at work.”

“Okay.”

“Well, here we are.”

“Raffi is that you?”

“Si, Mami.”

“Oh come here,” a woman with dark brown hair that just hit her shoulders came and threw her arms around him. “I’m so glad you’re home. Everything is going to be fine.”

“Mami…”

“This must be the girl that makes my son so happy. He didn’t do you justice. You are absolutely stunning, mija.”

“Uh, thank you, Mrs. Barba.”

“Lucia and thank you. I thought my boy would never…”

“Mami,” he whispered as he shook his head. 

“Well, anyways. Go put your things up and we can visit. I’m sure you two have plans.”

“Just going to Brooklyn.”

“Well do what I said. Izzy are you hungry?”

“Oh, no ma’am. Thank you.”

“Do you eat at all?”

“She eats, Mami, I can assure you. You should’ve seen her at White Castle.”

“Shut up.”

“You ate more than I did!”

“And where do you put it?” Lucia laughed.

Izzy kind of shrugged as she laughed.

“Lucy?” 

“Mami.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was going to be home this early.”

Rafael was pissed when he heard his dad’s voice. He had done everything he could to make sure they would see each other only in passing.

“Oh, there you are.”

“Miguel we have company.”

“I can see that. My son said you were pretty.”

“Don’t fall for it,” Rafael whispered.

“Thank you.”

“My son man enough for you?”

“Excuse me?”

“He’s had trouble hanging on to girls in the past.”

“Come on, cariño. Mami I’ll be back later.”

“Raf…”

“I’m not subjecting my girlfriend to his shit.”

“Will you two ever get along?”

“Lucy let the boy go. He thinks he’s better than me because he goes to Harvard.”

“Dad…no I’m not doing this. I’m not getting sucked in. Not this time. Let’s go.”

 

She held his hand as he drove her car to Brooklyn. “Babe?”

“Yeah?”

“You okay?”

“I hate that man.”

“I’m sorry,” she said as lightly rubbed the back of his neck.

“Don’t ever take your Dad for granted. You’ve got a good one.”

 

Izzy sat on Rafael’s lower back as she gave him a massage after Stella fed them. “What’s this from?” She asked noticing a scar on his back.

“You’ve never seen that?”

“I guess not.”

“To be fair, any time we’ve showered together, there was no reason for you to be behind me.”

“What happened?”

“Uh, I was 10 or 11. Fell and hit something. Needed a couple of stitches. Are you sure your mom and dad are okay with me staying here tonight?”

“Who’s idea was it? You heard my dad though, no funny business.”

“I know we have to keep the door open. Maybe we shouldn’t waste any more time. It’ll be dark soon,” he said as he rolled over to face her.

“My bed makes too much noise but I know something else we can do.”

“Really?” He asked as he grabbed her ass and flipped her over.

“Uh-huh. Is my door locked?”

He got up to make sure it was so Tony wouldn’t bust in on them.

She motioned for him to sit on the side of the bed. “What’s going through that dirty mind of yours?”

“I told you to get comfortable, didn’t I?”

“I thought I did.”

“Boxers too.”

“Oh, so sorry. Better?”

“Much,” she said as she got on her knees in front of him. It didn’t take much to get him excited before she took him in her mouth.

“Oh fuck,” he whispered. He ran his hands through her hair as she went up and down, slowly at first then picking up speed. “God. That feels so good, mi amor. Keep going. Just...like…that.” She kept switching her speeds, driving him crazy. His panting got harder and faster. “Baby I’m almost there.” He let out small moans as his release went down her throat.

“How was that?”

“Amazing.”

“Izzy?”

“Uh, hang on, Mom.”

“Shit. Where’s my boxers?”

“Just get under the covers, act like you’re asleep.”

She opened the door just enough.

“What’s up, Ma?”

“I thought I told you to leave the door open.”

“He’s asleep, Ma.”

“Come downstairs. Your Dad needs to talk to you.”

“Okay. I’ll be right down.”

“Fuck that was close.”

“No shit. Okay I gotta go see what my dad wants. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.”

 

“Hey Pop, you wanted to see me?”

“Yeah, have a seat.”

“Am I in trouble?”

“No. How bad are things between Rafael and his dad?”

“Really bad. He has never gone completely into detail but I think his dad used to beat him when he was a kid.”

Stella just shook her head.

“Well, Tony has that extra bed in his room. He’s more than welcome to stay here over the summer but he sleeps in your brothers room, with the exception of tonight.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to him but I think he’s staying with his grandmother.”

“Okay, that’s fine. But our home is open if he wants to.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“I know he’s important to you and to your brother for that matter,” Anthony snorted. “Your grandfather was like that, so I know what he’s been through. Sure, I’ve spanked you and your brother when you were kids. You can probably count how many times on one hand but I knew when to stop.”

“I know.”

“Okay, that’s all I needed. Keep your door open.”

“Yes, sir.”


	16. Chapter 16

It had been a busy day at Izzy’s Uncle’s bar and she was more than ready to get off of her feet. 

“Come on, Izzy. You’re not curious?”

“You know, Robert, I know about 3 girls you slept with in high school so no I’m not in the tiniest bit curious,” she told Robert Alexander who was a grade above her in high school as he was shamelessly hitting on her.

“Just one date.”

“Robert I have a boyfriend.”

“Yeah so? What’s he some rich boy from Boston?”

“Uh no. Actually, there he is right there,” she smirked as she pointed to Rafael and Tony coming through the door. “He’s from the Bronx.”

“Robert what have I told you about hitting on my sister?” Tony said as he pulled the guy off the barstool by his ear.

“Ow, ow, ow. Ok, I got it, Rossetti.”

"You better. I get tired of repeating myself."

“Hola, mi amor.”

“Hey, handsome. What are you two doing?” She asked as she leaned over the bar to give him a kiss.

“Okay you two. She’s still on the clock.”

“Sorry, Uncle Vinnie.”

“Izz do me a favor. Take these wings over to George and then I’ll let you leave a little early.”

“That works,” she said as she did what her uncle asked. 

“Tony don’t forget your shift tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow night? But…”

“Yankees vs Mets. You know how busy I get during those games. Plus, your sister already asked off.”

“Pop gave you the tickets, didn’t he?”

“Yes, he did so Raf and I are going.”

“You both suck.”

“Cry me a river. Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

“So, when are you picking up Erin?”

“Next week, Tony. I know you just can’t stand it.”

“Whatever. I was just asking a question. We’re not even that serious.”

“If you say so.”

 

“What time will your parents be home?” Rafael asked as he finally came up for air after they had spent the last 30 minutes rolling around on her bed.

“About an hour. Lock the door.”

They were under her covers just about to start when Tony started knocking.

“Hey! Why’s the door locked?”

“Why the hell do you think?”

“Oh jeez. It’s 6:00. You can’t wait till dark?”

“What do you want, Tony?”

“You guys want to order a pizza?”

Rafael just rolled his eyes. “That’s fine, Tony.”

“Okay. What do you guys want?”

“Ugh, Tony!”

“He’s doing this to fuck with us.”

“Oh, I know how my brother operates. Just get pepperoni!”

“Okay. Where do you want me to order it from?”

Rafael reached down and grabbed his shoe off the floor and threw it at the door.

“Okay. Okay.”

“Well, my erection’s gone.”

“I bet I can take care of that.”

“Please do.”

 

“Nice night out here,” Anthony said joining Rafael on the back porch with a beer for both of them.

“Yeah it is.”

“You’re not attached to my daughter. Everything okay?” Anthony joked causing Rafael to laugh.

“Yeah. She was on the phone with Erin so I thought I’d give her some privacy.”

“I’m gonna hate to see mine and Hank’s phone bills for the time they’ve been apart. Izzy’s never been one to have a lot of close girlfriends. She’s always preferred to hang out with the guys. So, how’s the summer been for you?”

“Not bad. I appreciate you and Stella letting me stay here some so I’m not cooped up at my grandmother’s all summer.”

“It’s not a problem. So, this thing with your dad…you guys just stay at each other’s throats?”

“Pretty much.”

“Well, if it helps. I understand.”

Rafael looked at his girlfriend’s father, shocked. “You…”

“My dad was a mean son of a bitch. He’d beat me, my brothers, and my mom if you even looked at him the wrong way. I tried to protect my mom, we all did so we took most of it the older we got. I didn’t have the courage to stand up to him until I was 18 or 19.”

“What happened?”

“I was doing the dishes for my mother and he kept trying to get me to turn toward him as he told me doing the dishes was a woman’s job. I should go put on a dress and some other crap. When I wouldn’t give in, he pushed me, and I lost it. I mean I came back with a right hook that knocked him on his ass.”

“What did he do?”

“He picked himself up off the floor and walked away. He never touched me again.”

“Over spring break, my dad was yelling at my mom, half in English, half in Spanish about my plans for the future. I came out of my room and told him to stop. I was calm about it, actually. Then he told my mother that I was destined to be a failure, even with my ivy league education. My mom had enough and started back in on him. He lunged at her and I got between them and he hit me instead. I was done at the point and knocked the shit out of him.”

“Yeah, Tony said it caused a little bit of problems between you and Izzy.”

“That was my fault. I got angry and I don’t always deal with it so well. I hold it in. I just…I didn’t know how to tell her. I was ashamed. She still doesn’t know a lot. I mean she knows about that time but there are so many more. My mom took a lot when I was growing up, mainly to protect me but he still managed to get me when he could.”

“Do you love my daughter?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you trust her?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why is it so hard for you to tell her about your childhood?”

“I guess I’m just afraid she might look at me differently or feel sorry for me and I don’t want her to pity me.”

“I understand. I was the same way with Stella. Of course, she had the doting father that I never had so I thought it was pointless to tell her because she wouldn’t understand. But I didn’t need her to understand what I had been through, I just needed her to listen and that’s what she did. I think she even told me that made her fall harder in love with me because I was so open with her.”

“Hmm. I didn’t think of it like that.”

“I’m not saying to go upstairs and just start telling her everything right now. It’s up to you but she’s a lot like her mom.”

“Raf? Oh, hey, Pop. What are you guys doing out here?”

“I was just having a beer with your boyfriend.”

“Oh, okay,” Izzy laughed. “Well, I was coming to tell you that I’m fixing to lay down. My head’s hurting.”

“Okay. Uh I can go to your brother’s room when I finish down here.”

“Eh, you don’t have to sleep in Tony’s room tonight.”

“Anthony it’s not a problem.”

“You’re both adults. Door stays open though.”

“Fair enough.”

“Okay well I’ll see you upstairs then.”

“I’ll be right in, cariño.”

“Night, Pop.”

“Night, kiddo.”


	17. Chapter 17

“She made her flight, didn’t she?”

“Yes, Tony. Cindy called after they watched her board the plane. Just be patient, damn.”

“Be nice, mi amor. Your brother’s horny.”

“Shut up, Barba.”

“Tell me I’m lying.”

“Yeah, okay but that’s not the only reason. Wait, where’s my sister?”

In the midst of their bickering, Erin had gotten off the plane and Izzy went to meet her.

“I think Erin missed your sister more than she missed you.”

“Ha ha. Come on, let’s go over there.”

“You think I just chase after your sister all the time?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I didn’t even convince myself.”

They went and got Erin’s luggage so they could leave.

 

“God I can’t believe in a week we go back to college,” Erin said as she fell on Izzy’s bed.

“I know. You do realize that we are moving into the building right next to Rafael and Tony’s?”

“You’re brother will never leave me alone,” Erin laughed. “So how much money did you end up saving this summer from your tips?”

“About $1500.”

“Damn. Well you did work all summer too.”

“Drunk men tip well. What about you?”

“About $700.”

“So, about half. That’s not bad for 5 weeks of work and two or three days a week.”

“And plus anything I’ve spent at ballgames and things like that. I think I like New York more than Chicago.”

“I told you.”

“Are you two ready? I gotta go get your boyfriend so we can head to Orchard Beach.”

 

“You did tell him what time we’d be here, didn’t you, Tony?”

“Yes.”

“He’s probably talking to Lina and not paying attention to the clock. I’ll go get him,” Izzy said as she got out of her brothers car and made the trek up the 6 flights of stairs to Lina’s apartment.

“Mami, I’m done talking about it,” she could hear her boyfriend say.

“I’m just asking for one dinner before you leave next week. Let me try and get to know your girlfriend.”

“Mami…”

“Just one. For me.”

“Lucia! Don’t guilt him into having dinner with his father.”

“Mama he can have one dinner with his parents together before he goes back to school.”

“He is an adult and can make his own decisions.”

“Just like the one I made to work my ass off to get the hell out of the Bronx. Can I go please?”

“Will you at least think about it?”

“Fine, Mami. I’ll think about it. Now I have to go.”

“Okay. Have fun.”

“Rafael will you be coming back tonight?”

“I don’t know, Abuelita. I’ll call if I am.”

“Okay.”

Izzy ran from the door and back to the stairs like she was just coming up when he came out of the apartment.

“Sorry you had to come after me.”

“It’s fine.”

“My mom’s here and…let’s just go.”

 

“It’s up to you. I don’t want to…”

“I don’t want to force you to have dinner with my parents if you don’t want,” Rafael said as they laid on Izzy’s bed after dinner. They had spent most of the day at the beach. Erin and Izzy helped Stella with dinner while the guys took showers after they got back. 

“Look, if you’re gonna go, I’ll go with you. Maybe it won’t be too bad.”

“I guess if you’re there with me, it’ll be better,” he said as he leaned over and kissed her. 

“AHEM!”

“Sorry, Mom.”

“I’m sure it could’ve been worse. Okay I’ve got the rest of your laundry done.”

“Ma, I could’ve done my laundry. You didn’t have to.”

“I know but sue me, I like taking care of my kids when they’re home.”

“Thank you, Mom.”

“No problem. Okay I’ll leave you two alone,” she said as she walked out and closed the door.

“My mother just shut the door.”

“I see that.”

“Whoops, force of habit,” Stella laughed as she opened the door back up.

“Damn it. We jinxed it.”

“Oh, Rafa, one more week and we’ll be back in Massachusetts.”

“And so much more conveniently located.”

“Exactly,” she said as she pulled him back to her.

 

“Do I look okay?”

“You look wonderful, mi amor. Okay. I will do my best to stay calm but if he starts…”

“Shh. Breathe. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

He pulled her in for a kiss.

“Oh, sorry! I thought I heard voices in the hall.”

“Hi, Mami. You remember Izzy?”

“Of course, how are you?”

“I’m fine, Lucia. Thank you.”

“You two come on in. Dinner’s just about finished. 

Dinner was awkward at best. Rafael’s dad didn’t say much.

“So, are you guys excited about going back to school?”

“Yeah, Mom, we are.”

“Izzy I didn’t realize it but I actually know your mother.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Stella and I have attended a lot of the same workshops and conferences over the years. I don’t know how it didn’t dawn on me. She keeps Forest Hills in line which was that school needed when she came over. Is she like strict at home?”

“No,” Izzy laughed. 

“Well obviously not, Lucia, if she’s letting our son stay the night over there. I’m sure in the same bed with his girlfriend no less.”

“Miguel you promised.”

“This is why I told you it was waste for him to be at Harvard. She’ll be pregnant before he can finish law school.”

“Dad…”

“Are you going to tell me that the two of you…”

“I don’t want to know anything about my sons sex life, thank you, Miguel.”

“Okay.”

“Why don’t you have another drink, Dad?”

“You know I think I will,” he said as he left the table.

“I’m sorry.”

“Mami it’s not your fault he acts like that. Don’t apologize for him.”

“I know. He’s so different when he’s not drinking.”

“And when is he not drinking?”

“Okay, he’ll go in there and pass out in his chair. I’m gonna regret this but are the two of you at least…”

“Mom! I’m 21 and I think I’ve proven I’m not stupid.”

“You’re right. I won’t say anything else because frankly, I really don’t want to know.”


	18. Chapter 18

“Ugh, I don’t know how I’m going to make it this semester!!”

“Come on, Erin, just think after this we only 5 left.”

“Barba working tonight?”

“Yeah. He got moved to the library so he’ll be up there doing his homework, I’m sure.”

“Is he gonna try and go to law school here?”

“Yeah as far as I know.”

“You realize in just a few months you guys will be together a year?”

“3 months actually. What about you and my brother?”

“We are technically not together.”

“Uh-huh.”

“We’re free to see other people if we want.”

“And so, when is that going to start?”

“Shut your piehole. Come on, we need to study for Professor Pistain’s test we have coming up.”

“You mean Professor Pit stains.”

“I can’t believe your brother actually called him that. I mean it was a slip of the tongue but I thought Barba was gonna fall out of his chair. ‘Mr. Barba do you find something funny’?” Erin laughed as she mocked their professor

“And he just went, ‘Nope. Not a thing’, before he started laughing again. I’m surprised we didn’t get kicked out that day.”

“I would think if you were gonna get kicked out for anything, it would be the not so subtle fondling taking place under that jacket you cover your lap with.”

“What?!”

“You honestly think I didn’t see your face the other day.”

“Why do you think we sit in the back? Come on, let’s go to the library. Rafael takes better notes.”

“He can multi-task, that’s for sure,” Erin laughed as they walked out of their room.

 

“I fucking bombed that test.”

“You say that every time and what happens every time, cariño?”

“I do good but I know I bombed. I didn’t remember half of that…”

“We studied for hours. If any of us did bad on it, I’ll be shocked.”

“Rafael’s right. We went over the notes how many times, sis?”

“But see he hates the four of us because of your slip of the tongue.”

“You guys didn’t have to laugh.”

“How could we not?” Erin said as she slugged him in his arm. “And that can’t be the first time he’s ever been called that.”

“Okay, I’m off tonight so you want to catch a movie or something?”

“Uh, sure, Rafa. That sounds good.”

“Okay. You pick.”

“I picked last time.”

“I don’t want to make any more decisions today.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll see you in about 3 hours?”

“I’ll be waiting.”

 

“Oh my god will you stop,” Izzy laughed as Rafael tickled her after they had sex. 

“What am I doing?”

“Pissing me off!”

“Okay, I’ll stop. I only do that to annoy you.”

“I hate that.”

“Tony told me why you hate it so bad.”

“He did not tell you about that.”

He just nodded with that smirk on his face.

“I’m gonna kill him!”

“That’s why I don’t do that if I know you’ve had something to drink. Wouldn’t want a repeat of that.”

“I was 5! And it was his fault.”

“Don’t be embarrassed.”

“It’s not funny.”

“Okay, I’ll stop. I don’t know what the big deal is. It was 15 years ago. I’m sure you have better control over your bladder by now. At least I hope you do.”

“Get out of my bed.”

“Are you guys dressed?”

“Hang on, Erin!”

“How long? I really need to use the bathroom.”

“Okay that’s just weird.”

“Hand me my clothes please and let her in.”

“I’m not your butler. Should I put my pajamas on?”

“Tomorrow’s Thursday so…yeah.”

“Guys? Come on, hurry!”

“Okay, okay. Wouldn’t want you to have an accident like your roommate.”

“Rafa!”

“I don’t want to know,” Erin said as she practically ran to the bathroom.

“She already knows the story anyways, smart ass.”


	19. Chapter 19

“One more class and then we take our finals next week,” Tony said as they sat down in Professor Pistain’s class. “Where’s your boyfriend?”

“No idea. He left this morning to go shower and get changed. He usually beats you here.”

“Yeah, I know, he’s never late.”

Rafael came running in right before Pistain could shut the door. “Nice to see you could join us, Mr. Barba.”

“I’d hate for you not to see your favorite student before finals.”

“Take your seat.”

Izzy, Tony, and Erin had their heads down as they stifled their laughter.

“Could Mr. Rossetti, his sister, and Ms. Lindsay please keep their laughter to a minimum? I know we all find Mr. Barba very entertaining but we have a few more things to go over before finals next week.”

“Aw, what the hell,” Erin muttered.

“Happy anniversary, mi amor,” Rafael whispered as he placed a kiss on Izzy’s cheek as he took his seat next to her.

“You remembered?”

“Of course, I did. How could I forget the first time we kissed and admitted we liked each other?”

“AHEM!!”

“Whoops,” they both giggled.

 

“So, what are we doing tonight?”

“Well, that’s a surprise.”

“Really?”

“I know you hate surprises because you never know how to dress but it’s really not going to matter tonight.”

“Is that right?”

“Aren’t I always?”

“Oh jeez.”

“Admit it.”

“You’re right…50% of the time.”

“I guess I can take that. Okay, so I got my last class of the day.”

“Are you coming to my…”

“No. Come to mine about 6.”

“Okay, I can do that.”

 

“Are you really going over there in your sweatshirt and jeans?”

“He said it didn’t matter.”

“Can you at least wear a decent shirt?”

“Fine.”

“You need to be prepared.”

“I’m agreeing with you.”

“Here,” Erin said as she grabbed a black and white Argyle sweater from Izzy’s side of their closet.

“You gotta change your pants, too.”

“Erin.”

“Come on,” she said as tossed her a pair of black pants and black heels.

“Heels? Really?”

“Yes. Okay your hair and make-up look good. You have pajamas over there, don’t you?”

“Ugh, yes, Mom. Do you know something…”

“Don’t know anything.”

“You suck at lying.”

“Okay it’s 15 till 6 and it will take you almost that long to walk down there. Don’t forget your coat, scarf, purse.”

“Anything else?”

“Have fun.”

 

“There you are,” Rafael said as she walked in to the kitchen area and common room that joined his and Tony’s room to Zack and Andrew’s. “Te ves tan hermosa como siempre, mi amor.”

“Um, what?”

“I said you look beautiful as always,” he laughed. “You’d think after a year you’d have picked up on more Spanish than you have.”

“I barely have comprehension of the English language beyond 4 letter words.”

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“What?”

“I’m kidding. I’m not one to talk. So, are you hungry?”

“Sure. What did you have in mind?”

“Hmm, I thought we’d eat here.”

“I got dressed up for take-out,” she laughed as she put her arms around his neck.

“Not exactly,” he smirked as he pulled her to him while his huge hands rested on her hips. After an absolutely mind-blowing kiss, he broke away from her. 

“I’d be okay with take-out after that.”

“Well damn. No, I actually cooked.”

“You did?”

“You never believed me when I told you I could, did you?”

“I didn’t say that. I’m just surprised.”

“I’m glad I can still surprise you after a year.”

“Let’s see how you can surprise me over the next year.”

“The next year, huh? Well, I think I can work that in.”

“Do you need any help with anything?”

“No. You just go have a seat. You want me to get you something to drink?”

 

“That was so good,” Izzy told him as they laid on his bed after dinner.

“I’m glad you liked it. That was probably the first thing Abuelita taught me how to cook.”

“It was great. Where is everybody?”

“Well, I’m sure you can guess where Tony is and the other two, I’m not sure. I just told them not come in there for at least 2 hours.” 

“Well I’m glad you did. So what else did you have planned for tonight?”

“I thought we would just hang out if that’s okay.”

“I like it.”

“Here.”

“What’s this?”

“I’m not going to tell you. Open it.”

Izzy pulled out a white gold chain with a small diamond on it. “It’s beautiful.”

“I know you hate yellow gold.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Well, actually I didn’t buy it. My grandfather bought this for Abuelita when he got his first job after they got settled in New York. She gave it to me when we went home for Thanksgiving to give to you.”

“Really?”

“You were right. She loves you. Just not as much as I do.”


	20. Chapter 20

“Okay so Tony is taking you to the airport to catch your flight to Chicago then you’ll be in New York the day after Christmas?”

“Yep.”

“And Hank is okay with all this?”

“He’s loosening his grip since I’m about to turn 20. Plus, he knows I’ll be at your parent’s house.”

“He just cares about you. So, does his wife.”

“Yeah I know. I’m lucky to have them for family.”

“Hey, Erin. You ready?”

“Yeah, Tony. I’m coming. Okay I’ll see you in a few days.”

 

“You want to drive?” Izzy asked Rafael as she tossed her keys to him.

“I’m guessing I don’t have much of a choice.”

“Do you ever?”

“Some days. Not very many.”

“Are we really going to start this?”

“Start what?”

“The little snide comments. Trying to pick these little fights.”

He just looked at her as he shut the trunk and they got in her car.

“You know you could ask before just throwing your keys at me.”

“I can drive. You just always drive when we go home.”

“I’m just fucking with you, babe. Jeez. You know I don’t mind driving.”

“You’re an ass.”

“I know I have been stressed since our anniversary and been taking it out on you.”

“Well you just took your LSATs and you’re worried about your law school application so it’s not like I don’t get it.”

“You’ll be the same way in two years. Hopefully, I’ll still be around to help you through it.”

They kissed before he pulled out of the parking spot. “You think we might make it that long?”

“I like to think we might. Is that bad?”

“No, not at all. What else do you think about?”

“Nothing.”

“You can tell me.”

“You won’t laugh?”

“No.”

“Okay. I think about once we’re out of school, starting our careers, we’ll settle in New York, maybe Brooklyn even. We could get married, have a couple of kids, perhaps a dog.”

“You’ve really thought about that kind of stuff?”

“Yeah. Haven’t you?”

“Well, yeah. I just thought that girls only thought about that kind of stuff.”

“Not always.”

Halfway into their trip home, Izzy was feeling a little antsy.

“Whatcha doing there?” Rafael smirked as she started undoing his belt.

“Oh nothing.”

“That doesn’t feel like nothing to me.”

“You need to concentrate on the road.”

It wasn’t long before she had his erect cock out and in her mouth.

“Jesus Christ,” he moaned as she kept going. He was doing everything he could to concentrate on his driving. She was shocked when the car came to a stop.

“What are you…”

“Just keep going.”

They were parked for about 15 minutes until he finally came. “What the fuck was that?”

“Just thought about trying something new.”

“Fuck. I had pull over the first place I could find so I wouldn’t wreck your car.”

“Sorry.”

“No reason to be sorry. We’re just going to have to practice more so I can learn how to concentrate better.”

“You want me to drive the rest of the way?”

“Nah. I’m not going to fall asleep at the wheel or anything.”

 

“How’s your Christmas been so far?”

“It’ll be a lot better once you get over here.”

“Am I coming to your parents?”

“Yeah. Abuelita is coming over here.”

“Okay I’ll get in the shower and be there as soon as I can.”

“The sooner the better, please.”

“Give about an hour?”

“I guess.”

“Rafa…”

“I know. I know. Okay well I’ll be waiting, not so patiently.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

 

“How were your finals?” Lucia asked Rafael and Izzy as they were eating dinner.

“I think I did okay. Cariño?”

“Yeah, I think I did fine.”

“And Raf, when will you find out if you got into law school?”

“Not for a few months, at least Mami. It’s going to depend on my LSAT score.”

“I’m sure you did fine,” Miguel said, shocking both Izzy and Rafael.

“Uh, yeah, Dad. I’m sure I’m worrying for no reason.”

“I’m just saying, you did more than fine on your SATs and your ACT.”

 

“Okay, Mom what was up with Dad at dinner?”

“Have you not noticed anything about him today?”

“Should I have?”

“He wasn’t drinking at dinner.”

“And when did that start?”

“After Thanksgiving. Once his tests all came back.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well he hadn’t been feeling good and you know for your Dad to say anything like that is a big deal. So, I took him to the doctor and they ran some tests…”

“Okay just tell me what’s wrong with him?”

“High blood pressure for one thing and he’s diabetic.”

“Really? So, is he one any medication?”

“Not yet. Right now, the doctor thinks he can manage it through his diet for the time being. He stopped drinking and he’s been eating better.”

“Well good for him.”

“Raf…”

“Mami I’m sorry that he’s having to deal with this but honestly I’m not going to forget and forgive everything he’s put us through over the years. The lying, the drinking, the womanizing, and not to mention the abuse. It’s not that simple.”

“I know that. Maybe, the two of you could just sit down and talk…”

“He’s talked enough with his fists. Maybe one day but not any time soon.”

“I understand.”

“Okay, I’m on get Izzy and go to Brooklyn.”

“Not before I tell her bye.”

“I know.”

 

They laid in Izzy’s bed, with the TV going just for background noise. He hadn’t spoke all the way back to Brooklyn. She knew something was bothering him. “Babe are you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah why?”

“Come on. You don’t think that after a year I know when something’s bothering you.”

“It’s my dad.”

“What about him?”

“I’ve never told you everything,” he said as he took a deep breath.

He started telling her in length about the abuse he suffered at the hands of his father over the years. He had never told her in depth what happened, including the scar on his back which actually happened when he was 7, not 10 or 11 like he had told her. She was speechless by the time he finished. 

“And now, now the bastard’s sick and my mother thinks we should sit down and talk. He’s quit drinking, well big fucking deal. The damage has been done, there’s no going back.”

She noticed for the second time ever tears in his eyes. She had been running her hand through his hair while he talked so she pulled him to her, their lips met as he let out a small moan. His tongue lightly traced over hers as he pulled her closer to him. “I need you right now.”

Her parents had started letting her close the door but they never did anything cause her bed made a lot of noise. They couldn’t hardly rollover without it making a noise. “I got an idea,” Izzy told him as she grabbed the comforter and top sheet off her bed. He grabbed the pillows and made sure her door was locked.

They laid on the comforter as they got undressed. For a little bit, he just hovered as he kissed her neck. “Te amo, cariño.”

“I love you, too.”

They made love in her floor that night. He wanted to be as close to her as possible. He rested his hands above her head as he moved in and out of her slowly, kissing her, her neck the whole time. He never felt so connected to anyone like he did her.


	21. Chapter 21

“Are you guys really going back to school already?”

“Yeah, Tony.”

“What about Zennman’s party? You know his parents go to visit his grandparents in California until the day after New Years and he throws the best parties.”

“That always get broken up by the cops. Instead of going to one of your friend from high school’s lame party, why don’t you take Erin to Times Square?”

“Okay, yeah. That’s a good idea, I guess. I didn’t think of that. So, what are you guys going to do for New Year’s Eve?”

“I’m not real sure. We just like the alone time.”

“I don’t want to know…”

“I’m not just talking about sex. Get your mind out of the gutter. Damn, Tony.”

“You know, we’ve been talking and if we both get into law school, we’re gonna get an apartment.”

“Yeah he told me.”

“He said something about getting a three bedroom that way Erin could have her own room, I’d have mine, and you two could share one.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. He’s crazy about you. You have no idea.”

“Hmm. I don’t know if we’re ready for that just yet. It’s only been a year.”

“It was just a suggestion. I don’t know how serious he was.”

“Okay well, I gotta go get him so we can get back.”

“Be careful. Don’t forget to call Ma when you get there.”

“I won’t.”

 

“You’re sure you don’t want to get dressed and go to a party?”

“Are you wanting to go out, Rafa?”

“No. I’m fine here with you.”

“It’s too late anyways. It’s already 11:30.”

“Well, what should we do for the next 30 minutes, that we haven’t done already today?”

“Let’s see? What have we done today?”

“Did I knock your head into the headboard too hard?”

“Funny. And maybe.”

“I’ll try to be slower next time. I know it’s stupid but you thought of any resolutions for 97?”

“Just to make it through the rest of my sophomore year with this very handsome guy by my side.”

“Really? Will I get to meet him?”

“I don’t know. Maybe one day. What about you?”

“I just want to get into law school. It’s not so much of a resolution as it is a wish really.”

“You’re going to get in and you know it.”

“I hope so.”

“You have a 4.0, you know you did good on your LSATs.”

“I’ll know in a few weeks and if I didn’t, I’m fucked. I don’t have the money or time to take them again to be accepted into the fall semester.”

“Stop stressing.”

“I’m trying. Okay. I have an idea. Instead of talking about resolutions, why don’t we talk about…fantasies?”

“Like sexual fantasies?”

“I know you have some. Everybody does.”

“What’s yours?”

“I have several and they all include you.”

“Like?”

“Well, there are several things I’d like to try with you that I’ve never done which I would assume you probably haven’t either but I’ll start with something…tame.”

“I’m listening.”

“I’d like to lay back and watch you take care of yourself, so to speak. I know you know how better than I do.”

“Oh, you do just fine. You’re just about as good as I am actually.”

“Maybe we could even buy you something to make it more interesting, unless you have something already.”

“I wore it out while you were busy studying for your LSATs.”

“Is that right?”

“Maybe. I was lonely.”

“Did it do the job that I do?”

“Kind of. It just didn’t hold me afterwards and whisper to me in Spanish.”

“So, your turn,” he said once he stopped laughing. 

“Hmm. Let me think. You said tame. I wouldn’t mind you tying me to the headboard and having your way with me.”

“Really?”

“You have ties, they wouldn’t be too hard on my skin.”

“Well, that’s definitely something to think about. It’s midnight. Happy New Year, mi amor. Shall we celebrate it the right way?”

“Is there any other way?”


	22. Chapter 22

Izzy was in class when she got a 911 page from Rafael. She picked up her things and quietly snuck out of class and went to his dorm.

“Hey everything okay?”

“It’s here.”

“Have you opened it?”

“I can’t. I’ve tried and I can’t.”

“Okay, calm down. You got a 179 on your LSATs. This has to be good news.”

“I hate to be that person…can you do it?”

“Uh sure,” she said while she took the envelope from him as both of their hands trembled. She quickly opened it and started reading it. She couldn’t help the tears that filled her eyes which made him think it was bad news.

“Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. Oh, I’m gonna be sick,” he said as he ran his hands through his hair.

“No, no. You’re in.”

“I’m in?”

“Scholarship and everything.”

He couldn’t even speak as she handed him the letter for him to read. “I’m in,” he whispered after letting out a huge sigh of relief. She couldn’t help but smile. He had worked so hard for this. He had done everything since high school to make sure he didn’t end up on the streets like so many did from his neighborhood. Izzy understood that far too well. It was the same reason she and Tony had worked so hard. “I guess you’re stuck with me for 3 more years.”

“I hope so,” she smiled.

“Maybe a few more after that even.”

“Let’s get out of law school first. Then we’ll talk about those other years.”

“You got a deal. I’m so relieved.”

“See this is one of those times that I’m always right.”

“You definitely were,” he smiled as he kissed her. “If it hadn’t been for you, I would’ve probably drove myself crazy.”

“Glad I could help keep you sane.”

“Why don’t we go grab something to eat?”

“That sounds like a good idea. You’re gonna let me pay.”

“No, ma’am.”

“Yes, I am. Today is about you and all the hard work you put it in to get you here. You can let your girlfriend buy you dinner.”

“Fine,” he relented. “But the hard work is just going to begin after the summer.”

 

“So, there’s something I’ve wanted to run by you,” Rafael said as they laid on his bed after he helped her study for a test she had coming up.

“Shoot.”

“Since your brother and I both got into law school, you know we are going to get an apartment.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“What would you think about us living together?”

“You, me, and my brother?”

“And Erin. I know you wouldn’t leave her behind.”

“Uh, well…”

“It’s too soon, huh?”

“Raf…”

“It’s fine. It was just a thought.”

“Maybe in another year or two?”

“Okay,” he said with a smile. He tried to play it off as if it was no big deal, when it really wasn’t but he still liked the idea of them going to sleep and waking up next to each other everyday instead of just a few days a week.

 

Finals were over, graduation was coming up, and it would be time to go back to New York for the summer. Rafael would graduate with the highest honors with a degree in Political Science.

Izzy and Erin would go back to working for Anthony’s brother, Vinnie. Anthony got Rafael and Tony jobs as paralegal’s for a friend of his in Brooklyn, which meant Rafael would be spending most of the summer in Brooklyn again while he worked. Anthony even dipped into his retirement so Rafael and Tony could go buy new suits for their jobs. 

Izzy woke up as Rafael was getting dressed one morning. She just laid and admired the way he looked. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, hermosa,” he replied as he turned to her.

“You look amazing in these suits, in case I haven’t told you.”

“You think so?”

“Oh yeah. The ties, the suspenders…damn. Too bad you have to go to work.”

“I need money, cariño and the experience. Mr. Adler even said that he could possibly help me get a job in the DA’s office starting next summer.”

“Meanwhile I’ve got to go sling drinks and hot wings to a bunch of drunks.”

“You don’t have much longer.”

“What time do you think you’ll get off?”

“I’ve got a lot of depositions that have to be gone through by the end of the day. I really don’t know.”

“Well I don’t guess it matters. I’ll be at the bar until 12 at least.”

“How about I stop by when I get off?”

“Sounds good.”

“See, isn’t this nice?”

“What?”

“Waking up together, going to sleep together every night?”

“Yeah at my parent’s house. When was the last time we had sex?”

“If we lived together…”

“You’re still…”

“Wanting to live with you? Yes.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay. Well, I gotta go. I love you.”

“Love you. Have a good day.”

Erin came in after Rafael left and laid in Izzy’s bed. “I so don’t want to work today.”

“Me either but after today, we’re off for two and it’s the weekend. My cousins are pissed. I think my uncle likes me more than his own kids.”


	23. Chapter 23

The summer of 97 had been a busy one to say the least. The four Harvard students staying at the Rossetti house didn’t have much time for partying or hanging out since they were all working. Izzy and Rafael might see each other in the morning if she got up after working until 2 in the morning or longer some nights. When they did have the same day off, most of the time was spent sleeping. 

Izzy actually woke up just a little bit after Rafael did one morning and went to the bathroom to join him in the shower.

“What are you doing in here?” He laughed.

“I need a shower.”

“At 7 in the morning?”

“I don’t want to sleep dirty.”

“Well come on.”

The water was hot but it felt so good as it fell on her. It felt even better when Rafael started massaging her shoulders while kissing her neck causing her to moan his name quietly. 

“You are so fucking hot,” he whispered against her neck. 

“How much time do you have?”

“Mi amor I wouldn’t last long. Plus I don’t have anything.”

“You’re right,” she said with a smile.

“I guess it won’t hurt anything. You haven’t missed any pills have you?”

“No.”

“Bend over, grab the wall,” he growled.

He slowly pushed into her while the water fell on her back, slightly hitting him. They were both doing everything they could to be quiet. “Fuck this feels so much better,” he let out as he kept going. He wasn’t lying when he said he wouldn’t last long but he did time it pretty well so he could pull out, unloading onto her ass.

“Good thing I’m in the shower.”

“You don’t think anyone heard us, do you?”

“Ma’s downstairs in the kitchen, Dad’s at work. Erin doesn’t hear anything when she sleeps.”

“Come on I got to get ready for work.”

“You go ahead. I’m gonna finish up.”

“Oh, that won’t be obvious.”

“Barba! You almost done, man?”

“Yeah, Tony just a minute.”

“Is my sister in there with you?”

“Yes, I am!”

“Babe!”

“Just hurry up and clean up the mess. I need to brush my teeth and fix my hair.”

“Hand me robe, please, Rafa?”

“Here. Okay I’m gonna go finish getting dressed.”

They walked out of the bathroom Tony and Izzy shared, to a glare from her brother.

“What?”

“Fucking animals,” he said as he shut the door behind him.

Izzy crawled back into her bed, in just her robe. “You’re not going to put some pajamas back on at least?”

“Nope. I’m off today so I will get dressed when I feel like it. You know you’re supposed to wear black socks with pants,” she said with a chuckle.

“Who said? I’m wearing a purple tie so purple socks make sense.”

“Okay.”

“You know your dad has been really good to me this summer.”

“He might like you a little bit.”

“And you?”

“You’re alright.”

“Have you given any more thought to moving in with me?”

“I have. Can we talk about it when you get off of work?”

“Uh, sure. I guess.”

“Okay.”

“Enjoy your day off, cariño.”

“Have a good day at work. I love you.”

“I love you, more.”

“If you say so.”

 

“So, you really want to stay in the dorms?”

“I just don’t think it’s time yet, Erin,” Izzy told her as they sat eating pizza and watching tv on her bed.

“I guess I can see your point. You’ve only been together a year. Sex is one thing but you shouldn’t rush something like this. I mean do you think you can live with him?”

“Yeah at some point. I mean this summer has kind of been practice for that I suppose. I just don’t think it’s a good idea right now.”

“Well I guess if that’s what you want. I don’t think Hank would be too thrilled if I was living with two guys, even if I had my own room.”

“Yeah probably not. It’ll happen eventually.”

 

“So, you said we could talk after work. I’m here. I see by the empty pizza box you and Erin were…productive today.”

“Yeah we were lazy. Okay. I know this is something you want. I love you, Rafael. I really do.”

“But you’re not going to move in with me.”

“I just still think it’s too soon. You’re going to be incredibly busy with school and you don’t need me in the way.”

“You wouldn’t be in the way.”

“You say that now.”

“Fine.”

“Stop, don’t get like that.”

“Have things changed between us?”

“No. Not all.”

“It just has felt like we’ve been drifting apart since I graduated.”

“Rafa we have been so busy we just haven’t had time. Is that why you’ve been pushing the moving in together? You think if we’re under the same roof…”

“It couldn’t hurt.”

“That is not a reason for us to move in together. We just have to work harder.”

“You don’t get it.”

“What is there to get, Rafa?”


	24. Chapter 24

“Forget it,” he said as he took his shoes off. 

“Don’t do it. Don’t shut me out. Why the push for us to live together?”

“I…I’m…I’m scared to death of losing you. Okay?”

“But I’m not…”

“My first ‘serious’ girlfriend, Lauren. She was beautiful. She really was. Blond hair, hazel eyes, sweet as could be. We were together about 6 months when we finally slept together. She sort of got me away from following Yelina around everywhere like a fucking a dog. Everything was great between us until we got busy and we just drifted apart. I hated it. I hated that feeling of someone just pulling away. I mean it was me, too. The break-up was mutual but it still sucked. She could’ve massacred my whole family, I would’ve looked the other way. Then there was Yelina. I mean. Yeah, I had been in love with her for years. I mean I had other girlfriends, then of course, Lauren. I bent over backwards for Yelina. Stopped hanging out with Eddie and Alex for the most part really. I almost thought about staying in New York for college for her. She’d come down here and visit me. Middle of my sophomore year, she started changing.”

“How?”

“Her attitude toward me for one. I’d pay her a compliment and she’d just say ‘you always say that’ like it didn’t fucking matter. She’d blow me off with some excuse. Criticize me. Things like that. Finally, I had enough. You can ask Tony. I confronted her and she told me I was thinking too much. Maybe three days later, Eddie calls and says I need to come home. So, Tony brought down me here. We picked up Eddie and he told me that he had went to Alex’s and my girlfriend was there, in his bed. So, we dropped Eddie back off because I didn’t want him involved if I could help it. Tony took me to Yelina’s and she wasn’t there. So, we went to find Alex. Sure enough, who answered the door in Alex’s t-shirt?”

“Yelina.”

“Yep. I just turned and walked off. She came after me and I asked how long?”

“Since your freshman year.”

“You know?”

“Abuelita told me.”

“Of course, she did. I did a complete 180 after that. I was keeping up with my classes but I was screwing anything that walked basically. I didn’t handle it well at all. When I think I feel you pulling away from me, all those bad memories come back and it kills me to think I could lose you. Yeah I loved Lauren and Yelina but I never pictured a future with them the way I do you. God, I’m pathetic, aren’t I?”

“No,” she said as she wiped the tears from the corner of eyes. “There’s nothing pathetic at all about any of that.”

“You don’t think…”

“Look at me. If anything, I love you more for the fact that you keep letting me in.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Just because I don’t think it’s time for us to move in together doesn’t mean anything is going to change with us.”

“Okay.”

“You believe me, right?”

“You know, I really do,” he said with a smile before kissing her only to be interrupted by Stella. 

“Ahem!”

“Yeah, Mom?”

“I was just going to tell you two dinner is ready.”

“We’ll be down in just a minute.”

“Dear God let her finish college before she starts giving me grandchildren,” Stella muttered as she went to Erin’s room.

 

“So Raf are you ready to start law school?” Lucia asked as he and Izzy ate dinner with his parents one night before they had to head back to Harvard. 

“Yeah, I am.”

“Have you given any thought to what you’re going to do?”

“Well, I mean I have start school first, Mami.”

“Oh, I know.”

“I know I don’t want to be a divorce attorney though. After working with one all summer, I have no interest in going that route. But the attorney I worked for said that if I was interested next summer, he could get me a job in the DAs office.”

“There’s no money in being a prosecutor to start out with, Rafael.”

“It’s not about the money, Dad. I want to do something worth my while. Helping people divide up their assets is not worth my time.”

“I can’t tell you what to do. If you plan on having a family someday though…”

“By the time we’re ready to start a family, I’ll be making more money and Izzy will be working.”

“And when might this be?” Lucia asked with a smirked that rivaled her sons.

They both just kind of blushed as they giggled. 

“You two are discussing a future together?”

“We’ve talked about it, Mami. Nothing is happening any time soon.”

“Hey, you can make your own decisions. But I think Stella and I would prefer if it was a little ways down the road. Neither of us are old enough for grandkids yet.”

“We’ll keep that in mind, Lucia.”

They all actually had a good laugh about that.


	25. Chapter 25

“You didn’t have to help unpack my room and cook dinner for us, mi amor.”

“What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t,” Izzy chuckled as she finished putting his sheets on his new full-size bed before she hopped on it. “Hey, this is actually quiet.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

He didn’t waste any time joining her on his bed. “I have more room now,” he laughed as they made out.

“Well I guess the sleepovers will be occurring over here more than my dorm.”

“See? If you would’ve moved in with me…”

“Shut up.”

“I’m kidding. You have two years and I’m withdrawing my offer.”

“I’ll write that down. I can’t believe your parents bought you a new bed, the nightstands and a new dresser.”

“And the couch. Yeah my dad got a decent sized back payment for his disability so he told Mami to buy me furniture. I wasn’t about to say no. I didn’t have to spend my money.”

“Well, that was still nice of them.”

“I suppose. Now how about we break this bed in properly?”

 

“So, I came across something interesting,” Tony said as Izzy was finishing cleaning the kitchen after cooking dinner for her brother and her boyfriend one night at the beginning of October.

“What?”

“Well, you know my roommate is such a good friend that he’s told me if I ever need something, I could just go in his room and get it. Well I needed something yesterday and to my surprise there was nothing of which I was looking for.”

“Tony what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Oh, little sister, I think you know.”

Izzy just kind of stared at her brother like he had lost his mind. 

“Condoms?! Why are you laughing?”

“Who the fuck are you trying to kid? You don’t use magnums.”

“No but he always has back up. Since you two were in there screwing this morning I figured maybe one of you got some since last night. But guess what?”

“You were snooping through my shit?” Rafael asked as he came back from his bedroom.

“No. I just wanted to see if my suspicions proved true. And they did!”

“You know, Tony, I don’t really think it’s any of your business what me and your sister use for birth control.”

“Oh well that’s where you’re wrong.”

“How so?”

“Yeah, Tony. My sex life is none of your concern.”

“All I’m saying is you knock her up, you’re both dead!”

“Excuse me?! Who the fuck do you think you are to threaten me or your sister?”

“Raf, calm down. You are not one to talk, Junior.”

“What are you talking about, Izzy?”

“You think Erin hasn’t told me about you guys going without something? Just like yesterday for example.”

Tony didn’t say anything.

“Yeah, that’s right. I know. She talks. For the record, I’ve been on the pill since I was 16. I take it every day at the same fucking time and when taken properly, it’s 99% effective. Crack open a book. Hell, you’re a frequent flyer at the free clinic and I’m sure they have the information readily available.”

“I guess your hypocrisy only goes far,” Rafael said with a look that could’ve killed Tony where he stood.

 

“Can you get still?”

“I’m still pissed about your brother.”

“Just ignore him.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have to deal with him every day.”

“Maybe we should go back…”

“Because he said so? Might I remind you what happened the last time we used one?”

“God that was a long night.”

“Yeah it ended up being pretty unenjoyable for both of us cause I couldn’t get off. I mean I know it shouldn’t be all on you but we’re adults. You’re about to be 21, I’m about to turn 23.”

“I know but I mean…”

“Okay, I’ll go get some tomorrow after class.”

“Thank you.”

“Well it was fun while it lasted.”


	26. Chapter 26

“Okay, so I’ve decided to amend our little game,” Izzy said as she prepared to help Rafael study for his finals.

“Is that right?”

“Yep. Now as always, for every right answer, I’ll lose a piece of clothing…”

“That’s my favorite part.”

“However, one wrong question, everything that I have taken off comes back on and you have to start over.”

“What?”

“I’m not done. Now you get me completely naked and you’re still getting the answers correct, I’ll start on you.”

“I’m listening.”

“And of course, if you get one wrong, your clothes come back on. ¿Entiendes?”

“Si, mi amor.”

“Good. Now let’s get started.”

He was actually doing pretty good until she got down to her black panties and bra and there was the first wrong answer.

“Aw, no, no, no, don’t…” he whined as she got dressed.

“You know the rules. I’d concentrate better if I was you.”

“Damn it. Okay. Come on. I’m ready.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

 

Once she was back undressed, this time completely, she started in on him. Every time she touched him, it drove him crazy but he was getting the questions right, so she was keeping up her end of the deal. She had got down to his boxers and then he fucked up again.

“Son of a bitch this isn’t fair.”

“Concentrate or my clothes come back on next.”

“I know,” he grumbled. 

She finally got him back down to his boxers. “Three questions left. Can you make it?”

“Just ask them.” He was getting frustrated there was no doubt. 

“Last one. You get this right and…”

“Oh, I know what I get. I hope you’re ready.”

“Well, let’s see if you are,” she said as she ran her fingers lightly down this chest to his bellybutton causing him to shiver in anticipation.

“And the boxers are gone. Now, give me what’s mine,” he said as he grabbed her and threw her on her back. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“No. I got it right here,” he said pulling a condom from under his pillow.

She had him too excited because it took him maybe 5 minutes. “Oh, this is so unfair.”

“You know that happens every time we do this.”

“I blame you. Tease.”

“But how many finals have you failed since we started doing this?”

“I never failed any before. I just have more pleasant thoughts in my head when I’m thinking of the answers.”

It didn’t matter how much he loved her, he was still a smart ass whenever he got the chance. She was too though so it evened out pretty well.


	27. Chapter 27

{1998}  
With their Junior year and another summer working for her uncle behind them, Izzy and Erin were set to begin their last year of college. Izzy was going to be busy taking her LSATs and trying to get into law school the next fall. Tony got a summer job at Boston law firm while Rafael, with the help of his boss from the previous summer, helped him secure a summer job in the Brooklyn DA’s office. He knew he had found what career track he wanted to pursue when he graduated.

“If your cousin doesn’t stop hitting on me, I swear I’m gonna kill him,” Erin said as she came out of the kitchen with a box of various liquors to restock the bar.

“Angelo again?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll take care of it. Angelo!”

“What’s up, cuz?”

“For the last time, leave Erin alone or you will be wearing your ass for a hat. Got it? She’s not interested.”

“Okay. Damn. You don’t have to be so mean.”

“You do remember what happened in the fifth grade, right?”

“I still have a very noticeable scar. How has Rafael put up with you this long?”

“Cause I can kick his ass.”

“So, you think,” Rafael laughed from behind her. 

“Hey! I didn’t expect you for another hour.”

“The ADA I work for didn’t have a very big case load today. So, I thought I’d come get a drink or two while I waited on you.”

“Sure. What do you want?”

“Bourbon is fine. So, what’s wrong with your cousin?”

“I had to tell him to stop hitting on Erin…again. I’m getting tired of repeating myself.”

“Your Senior year begins in two more weeks. Are you nervous?”

“Ask me again in December.”

 

“Will you stop worrying? I’m sure you did fine,” Rafael tried to assure Izzy after she had taken her LSATs as he cooked them dinner. “Remember how worried I was?”

“I’m not as smart as you.”

“Says who? Did you not graduate at the top of your class with a scholarship to Harvard just like I did? Like your brother did?”

“Yeah.”

“Here. Have a glass of wine and try to relax. You passed, you’re not going to get wait-listed, and you will be living with me next year.”

“You’re excited about that, aren’t you?”

“Oh, I’ll have your dorm packed up and moved before graduation.”

She just sat in the barstool with her wine and smiled at her boyfriend of now 3 years. She was actually looking forward to that herself. They had their share of arguments, sure, but things for the most part were great with them. “You sure you don’t need my help?”

“When I cook for you, do I ever make you work?”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“I’ve got it. You know Abuelita started teaching me to cook when I was maybe 12, 13. She always told me that women loved a man who could cook. Back in Cuba, my grandfather and her lived in the same little neighborhood basically and he annoyed her. They went to school together and he’d beg her to go out with him. She’d turn him down. One day, he showed up at her house and told her that if she would let him cook dinner once, he would leave her alone. Abuelita was the last of her brothers and sisters at home and my great-grandparents were working or something. So Abuelita agreed and she said by the end of the evening she knew she was going to marry him and she did. She told me one of the reasons was because he could cook. Now, she could’ve always just been telling me that but he could cook. Somethings better than her but don’t you ever tell her I said that.”

“I am so going to tell.”

“You better not.”

“Then I’m going to tell my mom that you said my lasagna was better, too.”

“Throw your brother under the bus on that, too. I wasn’t the only one that said it. I think stuff like is supposed to get better each time it’s passed on. Our daughter’s will probably be better than yours.”

“Daughter, huh?”

“Yeah. Maybe we’ll have one of each and the boy will come first so she’ll have someone to look out for her.”

“You’ve really thought about this.”

“More and more, yeah. We’ve been together 3 years. You plan on going anywhere?”

“No.”

“Me either,” he said as he kissed her. 

“So, where are we going to live?”

“If I get a permanent job at the Brooklyn DA’s office, I’d say Brooklyn. Park Slope or Prospect Park maybe. Have you thought about what kind of wedding we’d have?”

“Rafa!”

“You can tell me.”

“I might have an idea.”

“Church or no?”

“I doubt it. Maybe the botanical gardens or the Boathouse. Nothing too big. I mean I don’t have a lot of girlfriends except Erin. Out of all of my female cousins, the only one that has never annoyed me is Kimberly and that’s because she’s a closet lesbian so she’s not like the others that think getting married is the end all, be all.”

“Kimberly? I never would’ve guessed.”

“Hence the closet.”

“Got it. Honeymoon?”

“Barbados?”

“Yeah, okay,” he laughed.

“No, maybe a road trip to the West Coast or something.”

“That could be fun, actually.”

“None of this is taking place until after I finish law school, if I get in.”

“You’re going to get in. And I will be right there when you graduate just to tell you ‘I told you so’. Then we could just run off to Vegas and get married. Road trip and everything done.”

“I am not getting married in Vegas,” she laughed.

“I didn’t think you’d fall for that.”


	28. Chapter 28

“Guys, I could smell what you were doing outside,” Izzy said as she walked in to find her brother and boyfriend on their couch smoking pot.

“How do you know it was us?”

“Yeah. It might have been Farrell and Walker next door.”

“Seriously, Rafael?”

“Where do you think we get it from?” He laughed.

“Okay. Well, I am tired so I’m going to lay down.”

“Hey, what’s Erin up to?”

“She went to eat with some guy, I forgot his name.”

“Oh,” Tony said dejectedly.

“Tony…”

“No, no. It’s cool. I was just gonna see if she wanted to hook-up.”

“After we eat, right?” Rafael asked in an almost panic.

“Yeah, of course. Food before…I don’t know. What rhymes with food?”

“Mood.”

“Yeah but that doesn’t make sense. I’ll figure something out. Give me some paper.”

“Good night, boys,” she chuckled as she shut the door to Rafael’s room so she could change and climb in bed. She had gotten the news in early April ‘99 that her boyfriend had predicted. She did not get wait listed and was accepted to Harvard Law, class of 2002. There was only about two weeks left of school before she and Erin would graduate and Erin would move back to Chicago, while Izzy would move into the room she was laying in at the moment. She was excited that she and Rafael were taking that step but she was going to miss Erin.

 

“Is that everything?” Cindy asked Erin after the dorm was packed up.

“I think so.”

“Okay, well I’m gonna go downstairs. Hank should be back up any minute. Izzy, thank you for being such a good friend to Erin all these years.”

“She was just as good of a friend to me.”

“Well, I’m glad. I hope the two of you don’t lose touch.”

“I’m not going to let her get rid of me that easy, even if I am moving back to Chicago.”

Cindy walked out, leaving the two of them alone.

“So, all your stuff is at your new place?”

“Yeah. Rafael got the last box earlier.”

“Damn, 4 years. Where did it all go?”

“Books, boys, beer.”

“And bongs.”

“Those too.”

“Damn, I’m gonna miss the hell out of you, Izz.”

“Tony and Rafael graduate next year. You could always come back, find a job, and keep me company.”

“There’s a thought.”

“Erin?”

“Uh, yeah, Hank?”

“Everything’s ready to go.”

“I’ll be right down.”

“It was a pleasure to meet you Izzy. Thanks for taking care of her.”

“She wasn’t too big of a problem.”

“I’m glad. I’ll make sure she gets out here from time to time. Give ‘em hell in law school, kid.”

“I plan to.”

“So, you’re not going home for the summer?”

“No. Rafael is only going to be working Monday-Thursday so he’ll take the train home Thursday nights.”

“Well, that’s good. You won’t be alone too much.”

“I mean I’m sure I’ll go home some but my Mom and Dad just wanted me to decompress this summer before the real hard work begins.”

“If anyone can handle it.”

“We’ll see, I guess. Okay, now we promised we weren’t gonna start crying.”

“I know.” 

They were both in tears. “I can’t believe it’s over. You’re going home to Chicago and now I have to go live with a boy.”

“Boy, did I walk up at the wrong time.”

“I’m sorry,” Izzy said as she broke away from Erin and wiped her eyes while Rafael walked in. 

“It’s fine, mi amor. Erin take care of yourself in Chicago, at least for this one you’re leaving out here.”

“Oh, you haven’t seen the last of me.”

“I didn’t figure I had.”

“You guys take care of each other, okay?”

“We will.”

“And tell Tony…I don’t know.”

“Erin he’s going to be fine,” Izzy told her. “You guys had fun. There was no real commitment on either end.”

“I know. I still feel bad, just leaving like this.”

“Speaking of, you better get on your way. Hank’s patience might be starting to wear.”

“You don’t have to tell me, Izz. Okay, one more hug. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Well, are you ready to go to our place?”

“You mean mine, yours, and my brother’s place?”

“Yeah, that place. Are you ready?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’ve made plenty of room in the closet for you, I think.”

“Oh, I’ll let you know for sure,” Izzy chuckled as they walked out of the building to her car.


	29. Chapter 29

2000 came and the guys graduated from law school, with both having offers all over New York. Rafael took a job with the Brooklyn DA like he had planned. Tony went to work at firm in Park Slope. Izzy moved into a one-bedroom apartment since she had two more years of law school left. 

“Look, these two years are going to fly by. Then you’ll come home, we’ll get our own place in Brooklyn; then we can get married and start our life together finally.”

“I know, Rafa. I’m just lonely.”

“I’m still going to be here on the weekends or you’ll come home on the weekends, just like this one. Erin’s coming in a few weeks from now so you guys can so see No Doubt…again, right?”

“Yeah. And why did you say it like that? You had fun at that concert.”

“I did. I know it’s hard. I hate it, too. Not seeing you almost every day after nearly 5 years sucks.”

“Have you found an apartment yet?”

“I’m still looking. I’ve been staying with my parents. I mean your dad said I could come stay in your room if I wanted but I’m fine. My dad is leaving me alone. I mean, we’re halfway getting along still. I was actually pouring over files in the kitchen the other night and I fell asleep at the table. He came and woke me up and told me to get to bed. I woke up enough to gather my stuff and he told me I could stay there as long as I wanted and that he was proud of me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m just as shocked as you. I just nodded and went to my room and kept working.”

“Of course, you did.”

“Well yeah,” Rafael laughed. Izzy looked at him and it seemed with every passing year he just got better looking. “What?”

“Nothing,” she smiled. “I just love you.”

“I love you, too, cariño.”

She pulled him down on her across her couch. Soft moans escaped from both of them as they kissed and ran their hands all over each other. She wrapped her legs around him to pull him closer so she could feel him against her the harder he got. He pressed himself against her harder with every kiss until he couldn’t stand it any longer. He literally tore her button up shirt she was wearing. “I’ll buy you another one,” he said as he started in on her neck and worked his way down. 

Soon they were both undressed as he slid two fingers into her, causing a whimper to come across her lips. “You’re already so hot and wet, mi amor.”

“Just for you, Papi.”

His green eyes darkened and narrowed once that came out. “You want Papi to fuck you?”

“Yes, please.”

“Beg some more, putita,” he said as his fingers crooked inside of her while his thumb worked at her clit. 

“Please, Papi. Fuck me.”

A growl came from his throat as he slammed into her on that couch. “Oh god!”

“Who does this belong to? Hmm? Is this pussy mine?”

“Yes, Papi. Yours only.”

“Don’t forget it,” he said as he pulled her head back by her hair. Everything had started sort of tame with them but the longer they had been together, the more they started to explore. He liked to get rough and so did she. She was moaning loudly as he thrusted into her while sucking various places on her neck. When Papi came out to play, all bets were off. He sat up, throwing one of her legs over his shoulder as he still pounded into her. Sweat was rolling off of both of them as he made her come, her walls clenched around his cock causing him to follow behind her. 

 

“I’m here!!!”

“Oh my god, Erin!!! I didn’t expect you for another few hours. I was supposed to pick you up.”

“I took an earlier flight.”

“I’m glad you did! Get in here!”

“I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too. I haven’t seen you in a year. How’s Chicago PD?”

“I just work in administration.”

“You haven’t thought about going to the academy?”

“Nah. I met someone that you know.”

“Who the hell would I know in Chicago besides you?”

“Antonio.”

“Dawson?! How is he?”

“He’s good. He’s in patrol right now. He told me to tell you hi and for you to email him sometime.”

“God, I haven’t seen Antonio since the first Christmas of college.”

“Yeah he asked if you were still with Barba. I told him going on 5 years. So how are you?”

“Lonely honestly.”

“You have a year and a half to go. Well, almost.”

“Yeah, it’s only October.”

“I can’t believe Rafael isn’t coming in. I mean your birthday’s are three days apart.”

“He had conference in DC. I’m just turning 24. It’s not a big deal. We’ll have plenty of others together.”

There was a knock on Izzy’s door. “What the hell?”

“That’s your birthday present actually. Let me get it.”

“Erin you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Well, I know you’re all by yourself here so I had to get you something. Sit here. I'll be right back.”


	30. Chapter 30

“Okay, close your eyes, Izz.”

“Erin, come on.”

“Do it or I’m sending it back!”

“Fine. Okay they’re closed.”

“Okay, you can open them.”

“OH MY GOD!!! RAFAEL!” She said as she literally jumped off the coffee table into his arms.

“Of course, mi amor. You really think I’d really miss your birthday?”

“You said…”

“I might’ve lied.”

“So, the three of us are going to the concert tomorrow?”

“I invited somebody else.”

“Happy birthday, squirt.”

“Thanks, Tony. So are you two…”

“Just friends.” Erin told her. “We’ve been talking off and on and the three of us decided to surprise you for your birthday.”

“What about your…there was no conference.”

“You should be a detective with that intellect.”

“Rafael Eduardo…”

“I’m kidding, Elizabeth Michelle.”

“Damn I’ve missed you.”

“It’s been three weeks. I’ve missed you, too.”

“You could’ve at least came in a suit,” Izzy teased.

“What?!”

“I’m kidding. You look great. Smell great, too.”

He knew exactly what she was hinting at. “You guys want to go grab something to eat and come back in…say an hour?”

“Come on, Erin. Let’s leave these two alone,” Tony said as he rolled his eyes.

“An hour, huh?”

“Give or take. If I don’t last, it won’t take me long to reload and we can go for a second round.”

“Then what are we waiting for?”

 

“Nice to see things haven’t changed around here.”

“Tony you’ve only been gone for a little more than a year. How much did you think was actually going to change,” Izzy laughed as they sat at a bar close to her apartment.

“Shall we dance, birthday girl?”

“Sure, birthday boy,” Izzy said as she let him pull out of her chair and onto the dance floor. He was good at so many things but the man could also dance. It didn’t matter that is was one of the biggest pop hits of that year, Christina Aguilera’s “Come on Over” he could move. They had both worked up a sweat during the song. It was apparent they had to have each other. Yeah, they had made love earlier that day but it didn’t matter to them as he took her to the bathroom after they got off the dance floor.

“Rafa…Rafa…”, she tried to say between kisses.

“You’ve wanted to have a sex in a public place, haven’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re not wearing any panties,” he said after his hand traveled up her skirt.

“So?” She said ever so innocently.


	31. Chapter 31

{2001}  
Izzy’s second year of law school had come and gone. She and Rafael were still going strong, even being 3 ½ hours apart. He was bound and determined she was going to be his wife and the mother of his children. She only had one more year and to pass the bar. She had spent the summer at the Boston DA’s office as a paralegal basically like Raf had done in Brooklyn when he was in law school.

Most of her classes didn’t start until 11, not by here scheduling but the third year was completely different than first or second. That gave her time to go work out or just lay around and study if she needed it, with a cup of coffee in her hand. Rafael had gotten her addicted to coffee early in their relationship because that’s what fueled him.

Classes had barely been in session when she woke up around 7:30 on Tuesday, September 11, 2001. She made her coffee and started getting ready to go to the gym at her apartment. She worked out for maybe 30 minutes but just wasn’t feeling it that day. She missed her boyfriend but she knew he was in Brooklyn about to kick ass in whatever case he was prosecuting.

She turned her TV on around 8:50 to see every channel was basically on the same thing. A plane that had taken off from Logan in Boston had crashed into one of the towers of the World Trade Center. That immediately grabbed her attention. New York was her home, after all. She immediately tried to call her mom but she just kept getting a busy signal. She tried to call Rafael’s office and his cell but the same thing basically happened. Like many others, she watched on live TV as the second plane hit the other tower. She was dialing her cell and landline frantically, desperate to get someone on the line. After an hour, she stopped. She knew her dad would be called from Brooklyn to Manhattan. She was worried about everyone she loved. Her parents, her brother, Rafael, Lina, Lucia, and even Miguel in his own way.

 

“Stella?”

“Rafael? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Are you okay,” he asked his girlfriends mom once he walked in to their house.

“I had actually taken today off…Anthony.”

“He went to Manhattan.”

“Yes. Have you talked to Izzy?”

“I keep trying to call her. I’m not getting through on her cell or the other phone.”

“Ma!”

“Tony!”

“Did Pop…”

“You know he did.”

“Rafael and I will stay here with you.”

“No. Rafael, take my keys and get to Harvard.”

“But…”

“I know you don’t want my daughter up there alone. I damn sure don’t,” Stella said as she handed Rafael the keys to her brand-new Tahoe.

“Stella…”

“Go. Take the Whitestone bridge. You can go around the city. Get to her.”

“Okay.”

“But don’t speed.”

“I’ll try.”

 

Izzy sat on her couch for hours trying to get ahold of everybody she knew in New York. She couldn’t get through to Lina or Lucia, her mom, her brother, or Rafael. She just sat in front of the TV, crying as she watched the towers burn. They were a symbol of New York, especially after they had been bombed in 93.

“Hello?”

“Izzy! Thank god!”

“Erin!”

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t get a hold of my parents or, or, or Rafael. I know my dad is out there. He’s gone through burning buildings but this…this is different.”

“Just calm down.”

“I can’t.”

“If I could fly out there today, I would.”

“I know. I’m just so worried about everybody. The phone lines are jammed. I can’t believe you got through.”

“I might’ve called in a favor.”

“I’m glad you did.”

 

They talked for about 20 minutes before Izzy decided to get off the couch. She thought her mind was playing tricks on her when she heard a knock on the door from her bedroom. She decided just to ignore it until it got persistent.

“Raf!”

“I had to get up here to you.”

“How did…”

“Your mom’s Tahoe. She gave me the keys and told me to get up here.”

“I’m so glad you did.”

“I couldn’t stand for you to be alone right now, mi amor.”

“My dad…” she started before the tears fell again. 

“Shh. He’s going to be okay. Just have faith, cariño,” he said as he held her while they stood by her door.

“I’m trying.”

“Do you want to go to church? Light a candle?”

She just nodded.

“Come on. We’ll go.”

She grabbed her rosary and they headed to the nearest Catholic church.


	32. Chapter 32

“Mom?”

“Izzy. Did Rafael make it?”

“Yeah. He got here around 2. Have you heard from Dad?”

“He’s searching for survivors still. Baby don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it.”

“I know. I was just telling you that to keep myself from starting again. Did you go to church?”

“Yeah, Ma, I did.”

“Then we just have believe that he’s going to come home. This is in God’s hands.”

“I know. How are…”

“Your brother is here with me. We’re fine. You need to get some rest.”

“I can’t sleep. I couldn’t sleep until I was able to talk to you.”

“Your dad is tough. You know that. Remember that building he went into a saved those kids?”

“Ma this is different.”

“Just try to believe, baby.”

“I’m trying.”

“He’s not going to miss you and Rafael finally getting married and giving him grandkids,” Stella said as she forced a laugh.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. You’ll call me as…”

“Of course, I will. Try to get some rest. It’s late.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You really think I’m sleeping? It’s fine. Just go get in bed and let Rafael take care of you. He couldn’t stand the thought of you being up there alone. You’ve got a good man.”

“I know I do, Ma.”

“Okay. Get some sleep. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Izzy walked back into her room to find Rafael wide awake, even though it was after 11. “You okay, mi amor? Sorry, I know that’s a dumb question.”

“No, it’s not. Thank you for asking me. Thank you for being here.”

“Of course,” he said as he brought her to him for a kiss. “I love you. I couldn’t possibly leave you up here alone. You want a Xanax to help you relax?”

“Yeah. They’re in…”

“I know, babe. Lay down while I go get it and I’ll put it in a movie.”

“I don’t have many DVDs.”

“We can watch ‘Save the Last Dance’ or ‘Sex and the City season 2’ if you want.” Rafael actually couldn’t stand either of those, especially “Sex and the City” (Miranda scared the hell out of him as he put it once) but he knew his girlfriend was worried. He was too. Anthony had become a better father to him in the years that he and Izzy had been together than his own father had his whole life. He just wanted her to get some sleep more than anything. 

 

Anthony had finally made it home, safely. Izzy was more than relieved. Court had been postponed so Rafael stayed the rest of the week in Massachusetts. Sex was furthest thing from either of their minds. They mainly just spent it together, appreciating each other and everything they shared. 

“Okay, I’ll see you around our birthday’s, if not before,” Rafael told her as he got ready to leave.

“Okay.”

“You’re going to be okay, si?”

“Si, Rafa.”

“Don’t be afraid to call me if…”

“I’ll be okay. I’ll probably come home next weekend to see Dad.”

“Okay, well just call me if you do.”

“I will. Thank you again.”

“You don’t have to thank me. Wouldn’t you have done the same thing?”

“Yeah, I would’ve.”

“Okay. Well, I better get your mom’s vehicle back to her,” he chuckled.

“She’s not worried about it.”

“I know but still. I need to check on my apartment.”

“Okay, be careful.”

“I will. I’ll call you as soon as I get there.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“If you say so.”

She never wanted to argue who loved who more so when he’d say that, she’d tell him “if you say so” with a sly grin. She hated to see him leave but she knew he had to get back to work. Things had to get back to as close to normal as possible.


	33. Chapter 33

{2002}  
“Rafael, what brings you by?” Anthony asked one afternoon before Izzy was set to graduate from law school.

“I got finished with court and thought we could have a drink.”

“Sure. We’ll go to my brother’s place so we can drink for free. Come on.”

They got to the bar Izzy worked at over the summers during college. 

“So, how’s prosecuting going for you?”

“I like it. A lot more than I thought,” Rafael kind of chuckled while he circled the top of his almost empty glass of scotch with his index finger.

“Are you okay, son? You seem a little nervous.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“What’s going on? Do you need money? Is my daughter pregnant?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” he laughed. “You know I love your daughter. We’ve been together for a little over 6 years now and uh…I don’t…I can’t imagine my life without her.”

“You want to marry her, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you really think I’m going to say no? I’ve been expecting this for a while.”

Rafael seemed to relax when Anthony said that. “I love her more than anything and…”

“Rafael stop. I have no problem with you asking my daughter to marry you. I’ve thought of you as a son since the two of you got together. I still remember when you took care of her when she was sick and that was before you were together. I told Stella then that the two of you were in love with each other. It was just a matter of time before you two finally gave it up.”

“Did she ever tell you how we met?”

“In the bookstore? Yeah,” Anthony laughed. “I actually found it funny. Nice to see someone could give her shit like she gives to people.”

“I was sitting behind the counter reading a book and I looked up when her and Erin walked in. I was immediately drawn to her. I just didn’t know how to act when she came up to me.

“All I’ve wanted is for my daughter to find a man that respected her and loves her. She found that with you.”

“I do love her.”

“She loves you. So any idea how or when you’re going to do it?”

“None what-so-ever,” Rafael said, slightly embarrassed.

“Well, you’ll know when it’s right. Like I did with Stella.”

“Thank you, Anthony. Not just for giving me permission to marry your daughter but for everything you’ve done for me over the years.”

“I’d do it again. I always knew you were a good man.”

 

“You made it, nerd,” Tony teased after Izzy’s law school graduation.

“Leave your sister alone, Tony.”

“Sorry, Pop. No, I’m proud of you. Heard Rita was able to get her bosses to offer you a job.”

“Uh, yeah. Along with the Queens DA and a few other firms around the five boroughs.”

“Have you decided yet?”

“No, Tony.”

“Tony can you just let her enjoy today before she starts making any big decisions.”

“Sorry, Barba. I’d think you’d be pushing her to…”

“I’m not pushing your sister to do anything just yet. She was time before she has to respond to any offers.”

“Okay, kids, let’s go have dinner,” Stella instructed. 

“Izzy!”

“Erin!”

“I’m late, I know! My flight was delayed…”

“You’re here now! That’s all that matters.”

“Erin you’re joining us for dinner, correct?”

“If that’s okay, Stella.”

“Of course. Come on.”

 

Izzy was so worn out after graduation, the dinner, and the hour she and Rafael spent making love, she went to sleep within 15 minutes once she got comfortable. 

The next morning, she was still tired but got up to start the coffee, finding Erin on her couch and Tony in her recliner. She was running her left hand through her hair to pull it up when it got hung on something. She finally woke up enough to realize something was on her finger. She saw the round cut diamond on a white gold band on her ring finger and ran back to the bedroom. Rafael was awake, basically waiting on her.

“Raf…”

“I couldn’t think of how to do it. You said after law school, right?”

All she could do was smile as she climbed into his lap and kissed him while holding his face in her hands.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes! So many times, yes,” she said while tears streamed down her face.

“I can’t wait for you to be my wife.”


	34. Chapter 34

“You can’t fucking be serious with this.”

“Raf…”

“You waste 7 years of you life going to college AND law school, pass the bar, then turn down lucrative offers because you decide you want to go to the police academy?!”

“I said I was thinking about it.”

“We are planning our wedding and you just change all the plans we’ve made?”

“I just feel I could do more being on the streets than in an office. My degree is in criminal psychology.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“I haven’t applied.”

“You couldn’t talk to me about this? I’m going to be your husband.”

“I’m talking to you about it now.”

“Oh, gee thanks.”

“Rafael. Come on. Wouldn’t you rather me do something I’m passionate about than something I feel obligated to do? Where are you going?”

“I need some air,” he said as he walked out of his Brooklyn apartment.

 

“Raf if this is what she wants to do then you should support her.”

“Mami there’s so much more danger involved.”

“You’re going to tell me you haven’t made enemies as an ADA. You don’t think that your life could be in danger?”

“I know but…”

“But nothing. You want to marry her? Then the two of you need to support each other’s decisions. She said she hasn’t applied so she was obviously talking to you about it before she did. She wasn’t making this decision without your input.”

“And Izzy’s right, son,” Miguel spoke up. “Wouldn’t you want her doing something that she feels destined to do so to speak? She becomes a lawyer, you two get married, and then she’ll end up resenting you because you didn’t support her. You know what will happen after that.”

Rafael hated to admit that his Dad was right. He knew if he forced Izzy to use her law degree when she wasn’t feeling it, it could only end in disaster.

“Where are you going?”

“Home, Mami. Thanks, Dad.”

Miguel sort of nodded as Rafael left.

 

He walked in to his apartment a few hours later to find his fiancé cooking dinner. He didn’t waste a minute before he took her in his arms and kissed her.

“Raf…”

“Apply to the police academy.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. We’re getting married in December, the next class starts in January. Here.”

“Lieutenant Steven Harris?”

“I’ve worked with him on some cases. I went and talked to him. He’s got a lot of friends at 1PP and he’ll make sure your application is moved up so you can take your psych eval, written test, and everything. All you have to do is give him a call. He’ll help you.” 

“Thank you.”

“I want you to be happy in whatever you do. Besides, it would be nice to see you in a uniform I think.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, mi reina.”

“I’ve moved up from princess to queen?”

“Whenever we have a daughter, she’ll be the princess,” he said with a smile.

“Oh, God. Don’t start that before the baby is even conceived. That doesn’t bode well,” Izzy laughed.

“And if we have a son?”

“Oh, no woman will ever be good enough for him.”

“Exactly.”


	35. Chapter 35

“You know, now that we’re married, we’re going to need a bigger apartment eventually,” Izzy told her now husband as they finished packing for their honeymoon to Mexico. Since their wedding was relatively small, Anthony and Stella used the remainder of the money they had saved over the years so send them on an actual vacation. 

“Well, I guess when we get back we should start looking.”

“Maybe we should wait until I start getting paid next month.”

“Are you excited?”

“I am.”

“You have certainly taken good care of yourself over the years,” he said as he kissed her. His hands traveled down her back to her ass. 

“What are you doing, Mr. Barba?”

“Hmm, nothing, Mrs. Barba.”

“We need to get to the airport.”

“We still have time. You’re the one that mentioned needing a bigger place. We need a reason for a bigger place.”

“We said a year.”

“There’s no harm in practicing.”

“Come on. We need to go.”

 

“You wanted to see me, Lieutenant?” Izzy said after Harris had called her in for a meeting about a week after she graduated from the academy.

“Have a seat, Officer. So, I know you have a degree in criminal psychology and also a law degree.”

“I do.”

“I’m leaving it up to you. You can go to patrol, be a beat cop or you can go to Major Crimes, plain clothes officer. Work with two of the best detectives the NYPD has to offer, Robert Goren and Alexandra Eames. Personally, I think you would benefit better going to Major Crimes. You could learn a lot from the two of them, especially Goren. He’s a little, well different, but he knows how to get in people’s head. I saw some of your mock interrogations and that’s who reminded me of. He could show you who to perfect it, so to speak. Of course, it’s up to you.”

“Can I think about it?”

“Sure. I need an answer by tomorrow so I can let Captain Deakins know.”

“Okay. That doesn’t give me much time.”

“He’s needing someone over there. I think you could do it.”

 

“Well, it’s up to you, cariño. I think Harris is right but only you can decide.”

“I know but this is a big opportunity. I don’t want to blow it.”

“You go to Major Crimes and you’ll probably move up to detective in a year, year and a half. That’s what you want isn’t? To move up?”

“Yeah.” 

“Plus, in 6 months we’re going to be starting a family and Major Crimes would be easier for you when you get pregnant.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“But if you don’t want…”

“You know, I think I do. I think it would be good. So, do you plan on coming to bed any time soon,” she laughed as she picked up the empty plate from his desk where he had ate dinner.

“I’ll be in as soon as I’m done. I promise.”

“You’ve fell asleep in her the last two nights. I don’t know how we’re going to start a family with you sleeping at your desk and me in the bed.”

“Oh, I’ll make time. Go get some sleep, mi amor.”


	36. Chapter 36

Eames had agreed to act as a surrogate for her sister leaving Izzy with Goren full time.

“Is Goren always so…”

“Intense,” Alex laughed as she and Izzy were getting something to eat one afternoon. “As long as I’ve known him.”

“I mean he gets the job done. I’m learning from him, that’s no doubt.”

“He just has a way about him. We’ve been partners forever so I guess I’m used to it.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Ready to have my body back. No, it’s not so bad. My sister has always been there for me, especially after my husband was killed so really it’s the least I could do. What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you’re married to a Brooklyn ADA.”

“Ugh, Carver.”

“Yeah, he likes to talk sometimes,” Alex laughed. “You two planning on starting a family?”

“Well, in December we’ll be married a year and that’s when he decided we’d start trying.”

“Well just make sure I’m off of maternity leave before you take any. Not everyone is used to Robert like we are.”

“I’m still getting used to him.”

“You’re doing good.”

 

Goren and Izzy came across a case of what seemed like a modern day Bonnie and Clyde. They had killed 9 people, including 2 undercover cops. 

“I’m telling you, the girl, Tamara, she’s the one calling the shots.”

“What do you think, Goren?” Deakins asked. 

“I think Rossetti’s right. I also think that Tamara is running around with a hurt ankle after jumping from that fire escape.”

“Okay, you two get them in here as soon as you can.”

They found Tamara and her boyfriend Jerome. Goren got them to come in under the pretext that he had gotten Tamara social security number wrong on her arraignment form.

“So you want to keep them together or separate them, see if they turn on each other?”

“I’ll leave it up to you, Officer.”

“I think it would be more fun to watch them flip on each other face to face.”

“Let’s go, then,” Goren said with a slight grin.

“The judge will probably drop the charges against her and send her home. Maybe she was gonna tell you later, Jerome. We were looking over your paperwork, and there's a form that didn't get filled out. You need to read it, sign it. It needs to be filled out before we can transfer you to the Department of Corrections.”

“What is it?”

“It's just a form. Read it,” Izzy told him. 

“Maybe my lawyer should look at it.”

“You're kidding me, right? Come on. What's the matter? You can't read? Come on, Jerome.”

“Would you like one of us to read it to you? I mean, it's like he's a baby. Doesn't know his ABC's,” Goren started. “You can't read. Is that right? You can't. You can shoot two cops, but dumb as this bench!”

“He's not dumb! He's smart! He's a man. Why don't you take off his chains and see how smart you are?”

“Oh. Oh, that's it. You look out for him. Aw, you don't let him feel ashamed. You don't make fun of his problem. Your problem, Jerome. Hmm? Do you know what that problem is? Why you get headaches? Why, when you look at that form, all the letters, they get jumbled in your head?” Izzy asked him.

“I'm not dumb.” 

“People that have your problem, they think in three dimensions. Some of them become rocket scientists. No? Yeah. Work for NASA. You're not dumb, Jerome. You're just dyslexic. It's a learning disability. If you'd been to the right school, you might've been helped. Instead, they held you back, kids made fun of you, you got into fights. And girls when they figured out you couldn't read, they made fun of you. They laughed at you, didn't they? Made you feel like you were less of a man. But not Tamara. No, she saw your potential, your rage. She identified your weakness, and she played you.”

Jerome looked at Izzy and Tamara and back again.

“She’s lying to you. I’ve never played him. I’m the one that’s always getting played.”

“When you were in the hotel, and you woke up and she wasn't there, what'd you think? Did she say that she was going out for pancakes and that you shouldn't be troubled? Or did she wait till you were asleep and too drunk to wake up? Because when we picked her up, she was coming out of a pancake house. But she didn't eat any pancakes. What she did was, she made a phone call”

“Jerome you can’t believe her. They’re trying to turn us against each other.” 

“She called this number right here. It's a number of an old boyfriend she's been calling since he dumped her. She asked him to pick her up and that she had a surprise for him. 400,000 of them actually. She was going to skip out on you with the money,” Goren spoke up.

Jerome finally pieced it all together and turned quick.

“Good work, Officer.”

“Thanks, Captain.”

“Keep it up and you’ll make detective soon, especially if I have anything to say about it.”

 

{2004}

“Goddammit!” Rafael heard Izzy say after a something hit the wall of their bathroom.

“Negative again?”

“It’s been 6 months.”

“I know you’re frustrated.”

“Frustrated isn’t the word.”

“It’s going to happen.”

“I’m starting to think there’s something wrong.”

“How could that be? You’re 27 and I’m 29.”

“So? For all we know I could have something wrong or…” she didn’t even want to finish her sentence. 

“There could be something wrong with me.”

“Well think of all those times you didn’t use a condom…we’ve never had an accident, I’ve never been late.”

“Okay, look. Stressing yourself out like this is not going to help matters. Maybe the move to narcotics put more pressure on you than you realized.”

“Maybe.”

“If we get closer to a year and nothing’s happened, we’ll both go have some tests done. Let’s just give it a little more time.”

“Okay.”

“And if there is, we’ll start looking at other options.”

“I feel that we jumped the gun getting the bigger apartment. I mean we have a baby room and no baby on the way to put in there.”

“We will. One way or another. I promise.”


	37. Chapter 37

“Hey, partner. Brought your favorite,” Nick Amaro said, bringing Izzy her favorite caramel frappucino.

“You know me too well, Amaro. Thanks.”

“You doing okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Still not pregnant, huh?”

“Nope,” she said as she leaned back in her chair. “8 months now.”

“Damn. How’s Barba taking it?”

“In stride, like everything else. He’s not letting it get it him from what I can see.”

“It’s gotta happen.”

“Maybe it’s just not in the cards for us,” she shrugged.

“There’s other options, you know? Adoption, surrogacy.”

“I don’t know if I could handle watching another woman carrying my child. So, how are things going with Maria?”

“Uh, pretty good. In fact, tell me what you think about this?” He said handing her a ring brochure, with one circled. 

“Nick that’s beautiful.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. She won’t be able to say no to that.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m hoping for. Maybe the ring will sway her decision in my favor.”

“You know I was kidding. She’s going to say ‘yes’.”

“I hope so.”

“Amaro, Rossetti,” Sergeant Declan Murphy called from his office. 

“What did we do now,” Nick said as he rolled his eyes as they walked into Declan’s office.

 

“Rafa not tonight, okay?” She said pushing her husband lightly back from her neck.

“Uh, sure. Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to stop trying for a baby?”

“No. I’m just…”

“I know you’re getting discouraged but we can’t give up.”

“I’m trying not to but it’s been almost a year and nothing.”

“You were on the pill for how long?”

“I know people that were on it for as long as me, even longer. Stopped taking it and BAM! Pregnant within a month.”

“Okay, let’s take the baby off the table right now. I just want to make love to my wife.”

“Raf…”

“It’s been a week. I know you want it, too.”

That actually made her laugh.

“You CAN still laugh. I almost thought that part of you was gone.”

“Oh, get over here.”

“Nope. Don’t want pity sex,” he said as he rolled over.

“Rafa…”

“Nope. You’re gonna have to earn this dick tonight.”

“And how do I do that?”

“You’re going to figure that out all on your own.”

She reached around and started stroking his cock through his boxers before putting her hand down them and just grabbing it. “Fuck,” he whispered as he rolled over on his back. His eyes would roll back in his head as her grip got tighter while she moved it up and down his length.

She felt his hand grip her arm as he rolled her over. She pushed his boxers down with her feet while taking his shirt off. The head of his cock teased her opening while his tongue massaged hers. He put it in causing her to moan before he took it back out.

“Wha…”

“I’m just having a little fun,” he said with that smirk before he did it again. He’d go in a little further each time, driving her insane. The last time he pushed into her, she wrapped his legs around his waist before he could pull back out.

“I’m done playing,” she told him. 

“So sorry,” he remarked with that smartass tone of his.

For the first time in weeks, a baby was the last thing on her mind. “Fuck you feel so good,” he whispered. “So warm and tight. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to last.”

“Make me come, Rafa.”

He started going faster and harder causing the headboard to slam against the wall. For all they knew their neighbor could’ve been banging on the wall but they didn’t care. “Oh, god, Raf, I’m almost there. Just like that,” she moaned as she released onto him causing him to fill her with his own release as he said things in Spanish that she still didn’t quiet comprehend, mainly because it came out so fast she could never catch every word.

 

“What are you doing?” Rafael asked her about 6 weeks later.

“I’m doing math.”

“What do you mean?”

“One…two…” she didn’t finish as she got up and went to the bathroom, leaving her husband confused. After she had been gone for about 10 minutes, he went to make sure she was okay.

“Cariño?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you sick?”

“No.”

“You want to unlock the door and tell me what’s going on?”

She got up and let him in. “So, what’s going on?”

“This.”

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yeah. 10 months later.”

He couldn’t even speak as tears filled his green eyes. “I was starting to think it was never going to happen.”

“I guess it is.”

“This is wonderful news,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her while they both cried tears of joy. 

 

{2005}  
“Yay, hormonal Izzy is in the building,” Nick laughed as she slammed her purse on her desk.

“Can it, Amaro. Do me a favor. If Maria gets pregnant, let the baby come before you start babyproofing the house.”

“What?” Nick asked as he laughed.

“Barba had the entire apartment babyproofed and I’m only 4 months along. I had to get him to help me open the toilet so I could pee before I peed on myself this morning. I was this close to just using the sink. Then I couldn’t get in the cabinet to get my skillets to make breakfast. It’s not funny, Nick.”

“You’re right. Sorry. Just imagining you trying to…”

“I’m a Harvard educated woman who can’t use her own fucking toilet because it’s on lockdown for a baby that won’t be here for 5 months and it’ll be months after that until we have to worry about it getting into things.”

“He’s just excited and is looking out for him or her.”

“Yeah, I know but the babyproofing could’ve waited a little longer.”

“So, are you going to find out the sex?”

“Yes, we are. We went back and forth but finally decided that we want to know so we can decorate accordingly.”

“I myself would want to know.”

“Hey, Izzy. Can I get you to look up something for me?”

“Ugh, Doom, I know I’m on desk duty but you’re starting to abuse that I think. I’m detective third grade just like you.”

“Please? I’ll sneak you spicy tuna roll. I know Barba’s watching everything you eat and drink.”

“Yeah, I’m down to one diet coke and one coffee a day. He tried to take away my iced tea and he almost got stabbed at the dinner table the other night.”

“So, what do you say?”

“You drive a hard bargain, Doom. Okay, give me the file.”


	38. Chapter 38

“So, we’re having a girl?”

“You were there, Rafa, remember?” Izzy asked with a small laugh until she noticed a look of apprehension on her husbands face. “What’s wrong?”

“What are…how are we going to discipline her the first time she misbehaves?”

“Uh…well, we haven’t really talked about that yet, have we?”

He shook his head. “What if I…say she does something really, really wrong. Like I don’t know, but something she knows she shouldn’t do. I go to just swat her and I can’t stop?”

“What makes you think you’d do that?”

“My dad, his dad…”

“You are neither of those men. Hey, look at me. You’re gonna know.”

“I mean any time Mami disciplined me, she never went far, and would later talk to me calmly about why she did it. It was usually my mouth that got me into trouble but my dad decided that wasn’t enough, I suppose.”

“Then when it comes to that, just remember what your Mom did.”

“Yeah. I guess you’re right. You think I’m going to be a good father?”

“There is no doubt in my mind.”

 

“Hey, Rafael. What brings you over to this side of Brooklyn?”

“Hey, Stella. Is Anthony home?”

“Yeah. He’s in ‘his’ room,” Stella chuckled referring to Tony’s old room that Anthony had converted into a man cave, complete with a small bar. He was watching the Knicks game and drinking scotch.

“Hey, Rafael.”

“Hey, Anthony. How are the Knicks doing?”

“Shitty. I don’t know why I put myself though this. Can I get you a drink?”

“Sure.”

“So, what brings you by?”

“Well, you know we’re having a girl.”

“Yes,” Anthony said with a smile. 

“After the way you were raised, how were you able to discipline Tony and Izzy differently from what you got?”

“Well, I remember how I felt after my dad would hit me and I just never wanted my kids to feel any of that. Not the embarrassment, not the pain, not the fear, none of it. I’m guessing you’re worried about not being like your dad?”

“Yeah.”

“I hate to say this but honestly, just remember how you felt. Would you want your kids to feel any of that?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Then just always keep that in my head. If my granddaughter is anything like her mother, you’re going have fun with her mouth.”

“Yeah, mine got me in trouble with my mother a lot.”

“This kid doesn’t stand a chance,” Anthony laughed. “Revenge is mine.”


	39. Chapter 39

“What are you up to,” Rafael smirked as his wife came up behind up and started playing with dick while he shaved.

“Nothing,” she said as she placed small kisses on his back.

“Cariño I need to get ready for work.”

“We have a little time.”

“Not a lot. I’ve really got to get ready for work.”

“What’s going on with you? You went to sleep before me last night and now you’re telling me we don’t have time this morning when it’s only 7:00?”

He wiped his face and kind of hung his head before turning to face her. “I love you, more than anything. Our sex life has always been amazing but it’s been non-stop for the last two weeks. Before work, after work, a few times during work. I just want a break. I am in pain, literally. There’s like two layers of skin missing from my dick. Baby I just can’t take anymore right now.”

She thought for a minute before she laughed. “I’m sorry.”

“Baby I love that you want me so much right now and I pray it doesn’t change after the baby’s born. I mean I know it will to a point. Just give me time to heal and I’m all your again. Deal?”

“Okay. It’s not because I’m fat?”

“For starters, you have our child in there so you are not fat and for another you are not that big, even at 6 months. You are still as beautiful as the first time I saw you. Don’t ever think that has changed. ¿Entiendes?”

“Sí, entiendo, Papi.”

“You’re getting better. Now where’s my breakfast, woman?” He joked as he slapped her ass while she walked out of the bathroom.

“Watch yourself, counselor.”

She sat his coffee and breakfast in front of him as he sat down with a file for the case he had that day.

“You are too good to me sometimes,” he smiled while she bent down to kiss him, with his hand resting on her belly. “What was that?”

“Uh, that was your daughter.”

“Is that the first time she’s done that?”

“It’s been small up until now.”

“You think she knew it was my hand?”

“You are so cute. Maybe so though.” The more he talked, the more the baby kicked. “She does seem to know your voice.”

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to be induced, mi amor?”

“I want her to come on her own if it’s possible,” Izzy told her husband as he rubbed her legs on her 4th day of being overdue. 

“I know but I also know that it’s June, it’s hot, and you’re miserable.”

“I’ll make it. You know we could always…”

“We have had sex twice today already. I’m doing my part,” he laughed.

“I know.”

“I mean I’ve taken you for walks…”

“You make me sound like a dog,” she laughed.

“You know what I’m saying. I mean we have walked to go eat spicy food. That’s two things right there.”

“This child is definitely a Barba.”

“Half and half Rossetti, too. Okay. I’m putting my foot down.”

“What are you talking about?”

He lifted Izzy’s shirt and got closer to her belly. “Okay, young lady. You are making your mother miserable. I know it’s nice and comfortable in there but there’s all kinds off comfortable things out here for you. I’m sorry to show you tough love so soon but enough is enough. You need to get out of your mother.”

Izzy was laughing to the point of tears at her husband. The way he was in the courtroom was in stark contrast to how he was at home. “You are such a dork sometimes I…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Get up.”

“Are you okay? You’re scaring me.”

“My water just broke.”

“Seriously? Because I was just playing around.”

“I think you making me laugh with your goofy ass is what did it.”

“She’s already listening to me.”

“Go call the doctor,” she said as she hit him with a pillow.


	40. Chapter 40

“8 hours so far, huh?”

“I’m miserable, Ma. I’m only at a 4. The Demerol has already worn off.”

Stella took a wash cloth and wiped the sweat from her daughter’s forehead. “You’re doing great from what Rafael said.”

“Did he tell you how many times I’ve yelled at him?”

“Yeah but he knows it’s to be expected.”

“Oh my god! Where is that fucking anesthesiologist?”

“He’s on his way. Just try to breathe.”

“I’m never doing this again.”

“I said the same thing with your brother,” Stella laughed. 

“How did you do this two times? How do women do it more than once period?”

“I’m back, mi amor.”

“I’m glad you got to eat,” Izzy said as she glared at him.

“You told me to.”

“I know I’m sorry.”

The doctor came in to check Izzy again. “Well, you’re at a 6.”

“That’s great, Dr. Morgan. I want my drugs.”

“He is in the next room and you’re next. I promise, Izzy.”

“Thank God,” Rafael said earning glares from the doctor, wife, and mother in law. “For her, I meant. I don’t like seeing her in pain.”

 

“Izzy I hope you’re ready,” Dr. Morgan told her.

“What?”

“10 centimeters. She’s ready.”

It took almost 30 minutes before their daughter was born. 6lbs 3oz 19 inches long and a head full of dark hair.

“She’s so beautiful. She looks like you but with dark hair.”

“You want to hold her?”

“Uh…”

“You made her, too, Rafa.”

“Shouldn’t we decide on her name?”

“Well we said we’d wait until we saw her. You just pick one. I loved them all.”

“Emersyn. Emersyn Catalina Barba.”

“I love it.”

 

“Heard someone had a baby?”

“Erin you made it.”

“I tried to get out here sooner but getting a flight at the last minute was hell.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I’m just glad you made it.”

“Where’s Rafael?”

“I sent him to get me something to eat. I am starving.”

“Well I hope he doesn’t get anything too big,” Erin said as she handed her a bag.

“Pastrami thank god! You know me too well.”

“I knew you would probably be hungry.”

“I’m sure I’ll eat whatever he brings me, too.”

“You’ve always been a bottomless pit.”

“Knock, knock. Am I interrupting?”

“Come in, Nick.”

“Here, Maria sent something for you.”

“Oh, thank you. Nick Amaro, this is my best friend Erin Lindsay. Erin this is my partner, Nick Amaro. So how is Maria doing?”

“Sick. Every time of the day. That’s why she didn’t come with me She sends her apologies though.”

“Trust me, I understand. You remember my Linda Blair impressions. There’s a store in Brooklyn that has the best ginger candy. It’s close to our apartment actually. Those will be her best friend.”

“I’ll remember that. So is this her,” he asked as he looked into the bassinet by Izzy’s bed.

“No, Emersyn is in the shop, this is a loaner.”

“Motherhood isn’t going to change you I see.”

“You can hold her if you want.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You need to practice.”

“Can you say, ‘Uncle Nick’? No. You will.”

“I didn’t know there was a party going,” Rafael laughed when he came back.

“Hey, Barba.”

“Hey, Erin. You finally made it. Hey, Amaro. Getting some practice?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna need it.”

Nick stayed for a little bit and visited. Rafael gave Erin the keys to their apartment so she could settle in their guestroom while Izzy got some rest. She had slept for a few hours when she woke up to hear Rafael’s voice. Apparently the nurse had brought Emersyn to be fed and he gladly jumped at the chance. Izzy listened for a minute before turning over. 

“It took me and Mami so long to get you. I’m so glad you’re finally here. I will do everything I can to protect you.”

She could hear him choking up as he spoke to his daughter.


	41. Chapter 41

“Hola, mi amor,” Rafael said as he greeted his wife when he came in from work.

“Hey babe. How was work?”

“I lost. First sexual assault case, record for the fastest felony loss in the office.”

‘I’m sorry. Hypnosis is hard to prove, love.”

“I know. Oh, there’s my girl,” he said as he took his 3-week-old daughter from his wife. “Mi hermosa princesa. What?” He asked as he noticed his wife smiling at him.

“You’re a wonderful father, you know that?”

“Gracias, mi amor.”

“She loves her Papi.”

“I love her. Have you looked through any of the resumes for nannies?”

“I have. I set up a few interviews for later in the week if that’s okay.”

“Sounds fine.”

 

“So, how much longer do we have to wait?” Rafael asked as he kissed Izzy’s neck while they laid in bed.

“Dr. Morgan said 6 weeks, so we have 3 to go.”

“I don’t think I can make it long,” he whined. 

“I’ve blown you several times in the last few weeks. I didn’t plan on stopping now.”

“I was thinking about something else.”

“What?”

“You know we’ve talked about me going through the backdoor but you’ve never let me.”

“Neither of us have ever done that.”

“So why not we try it?”

“I don’t think I could take you without anything.”

“One step ahead of you, mi amor,” he said as he reached into the nightstand.

“When did you get this?”

“I’ve had it for a minute. I mean in case the mood ever struck us. So, what do you think?”

Izzy was a little scared about having something so big in her ass but they had talked about it, several times. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her. “Okay.”

“I read that it might be more pleasurable for you on your back.”

“You’ve done some research?”

“Maybe.”

“Well by all means, Counselor.”

First he started on her neck; biting, sucking, kissing as he made his way down. She was already dripping by the time his tongue made contact with her clit, much to his delight. He went at her hard and fast while his hands still roamed her body. She moaned his name quietly in pure ecstasy. He slipped a well lubed finger in her ass slowly as his tongue still lapped at her clit. That was something she had never felt. Over the years, they had tied each other up, she had even handcuffed him but this was completely different.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, baby,” she moaned after two orgasms he gave her orally.

He made sure both his dick and her ass were lubed generously before he slowly slid his head in. She cried out in both pain and pleasure. “Do you want me to stop?”

“Just stay there for a minute.”

He listened as she would instruct him when to go further. He slowly inched his way into her ass as she shuddered. He finally had her open and started pumping into her ass slowly. “God, Rafa. That feels so good.”

“You like my cock in your ass?”

“Yes, Rafael.”

“You want me to stay like this?”

“No. Fuck me. Fuck my ass, Papi.”

He was a little more than surprised at her request since this was the first time they had ever done this but he gladly obliged. “Fuck, mi amor. Your ass feels so good. You like when Papi fucks your ass?”

“Yes, Papi. Keep going. Just like that.”

He thrusted into her harder and faster as she pulled his hair causing him to moan even louder than he already was. Izzy didn’t know what came over her but she knew it was certainly an orgasm as she could feel the wetness on her husbands abs while he kept thrusting into her to reach his own orgasm. He let it spill into her ass with a loud “Fuck” as his hips stuttered while he finished. They were both drenched in sweat afterwards.

“That…was…amazing…Rafa.”

“Unbelievably…so.”


	42. Chapter 42

“So, what are we doing tonight?”

“Nick and Maria are watching Emersyn while we go to dinner and a movie for the first time in four months.”

“Are they going to be okay with her?”

“Rafa she loves her Uncle Nick and it’ll be good for them. Their daughter is going to be born in 3 months so they need all the practice they can get.”

“We’ve never left her but to go to work.”

“And we could use a night out, especially for our birthdays.”

“I guess you’re right. They are good with her when they come over.”

“That’s probably them. Finish getting ready and I’ll let them in,” Izzy said as she placed a kiss on her husbands cheek before heading to answer the door to let her partner and his wife in. Nick made a beeline straight for Emersyn’s room, coming back with her in his arms.

“Nick did you wake her up?”

“Would I do that, partner?”

“Yes,” Izzy and Maria both said.

“She was stirring.”

“Hey, guys. Thanks for babysitting for us.”

“Yeah, no problem, Barba. We’ll be counting on you two to the same when Delilah is born.”

“Nick for the last time we are not naming our daughter after a biblical whore,” Maria playfully scolded.

“Okay, you guys know where everything is. She’s got bottles already made up.”

“Barba we got it,” Nick laughed. “You guys go have a good time. Emmie is in good hands.”

“Don’t let your partner hear you call her daughter that.”

“Too late,” Izzy said coming back from putting her black knee-high boots on. “Her name is Emersyn, Nick. She’s not some award that is given to TV actors.”

“I’m sorry, isn’t Izzy your nickname?”

“Amaro.”

“A little help, Barba?”

“Oh, no. You’re on your own. I’ve been with her for almost 10 years. I know better when that look comes on her face.”

“Okay will you two get out here? You have birthdays to celebrate,” Maria laughed.

“Alright we’re leaving. Call us if you need us. And no making out until she goes to sleep,” Rafael joked.

 

“So, when are you two thinking of having another one?” Miguel asked as he bounced his granddaughter on his knee.

“It’s going to be a while, Dad. Maybe when Emersyn is almost 2.”

“Don’t let her grow up by herself like you did. If it would’ve been up to me, you would’ve had a brother or sister at least but your mom was busy with school. There was never a right time.”

Rafael had always said he felt it was better than he was an only child with his father’s behavior. Instead of a snarky comment, he just let his dad’s words slide. He was done being angry, especially now that he was a father himself. 

“Look who I brought,” Lucia cheerfully announced as she and Lina walked in. Lina immediately took her great-granddaughter from Miguel while Izzy got up to help Lucia in the kitchen. Her mind was all over the place at the moment and her mother in law was quick to notice.

“How far along are you?” Lucia asked after a long silence.

“5 weeks.”

“Raffi doesn’t know, does he?”

“No. I don’t how to tell him. Emersyn is only 6 months old. This was not in our plans at all. Not for at least another two years.”

“Were you not taking anything?”

“I was. I’ve been having problems since Emersyn was born and I went to the doctor. She did blood work and I found out that my birth control apparently wasn’t strong enough so it failed and I’m pregnant.”

They heard a glass shatter on the floor behind them causing them both to jump. 

“What?”

“I’ll let you two talk,” Lucia said as she walked out of the kitchen.

Izzy went to clean up the broken glass but Rafael grabbed her hand. “You’re pregnant again?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“I know we didn’t plan on another one for two years.”

“Well plans have a way of changing. When are you due?”

“July.”

“So, our kids will be a little over a year apart? No big deal,” he shrugged.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” he smiled as he took the towel from her hand to clean up the glass he had dropped.


	43. Chapter 43

{2006}  
“How’s she doing?” Erin asked once she landed at JFK and arrived in Brooklyn.

“She’s just kind of staring at the TV, Erin,” Rafael shrugged. “I don’t know what to do for her.”

“What about you?”

“I’m disappointed but it just wasn’t the right time, I guess,” he told her referring to their recent miscarriage. 

“She’ll be okay. She just has to feel it. How long is she off work?”

“Lieutenant Harris told her to take as long as she needed. She’s on the couch if you want to go in there.”

Erin just sat on the couch next to her best friend of 10 years without saying a word.

Izzy finally spoke after about 20 minutes. “Thanks for coming out here.”

“Of course. When Barba called, I caught the first flight. How are you doing?”

“Still processing it really. I know it happens.”

“Are you guys going to try again when you’re able?”

“We haven’t talked about it yet.”

“He seems to be handling it.”

“I guess. He won’t really talk about it.”

“Are you ladies hungry?”

“Sure, Raf,” Izzy said with a small smile. 

“Erin?”

“I could eat.”

“Chinese okay?”

“Yeah.”

 

Erin was playing with Emersyn while Izzy went to find Rafael. He was in his home office, sitting on his desk, back facing the door. 

“Hey.”

“Uh, hey,” he sniffled as he stood up.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

She walked over to him and found the ultrasound picture of the baby from the week before she lost it laying his chair. His eyes and nose were red. She just wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as tears streamed down his face.

“Why…”

“I keep thinking I got too rough with you and…”

“It’s not your fault. These things just happen.”

“I promise I’ll give you another baby.”

“I know,” she said with a smile as she kissed him.

 

Izzy had still been depressed over the miscarriage. Nick worried about showing her pictures of his and Maria’s newborn daughter Zara, even though Izzy assured him it was fine. Rafael was at a loss on how to make his wife feel better. 

She was in the floor with Emersyn when he came in earlier than usual one day. “There’s my girls.”

“Hey. You’re home early.”

“Jury selection went quick actually. What are you two up to?”

“Oh, not much. She’s just been crawling around me.”

He sat down with them and Emersyn crawled over to her dad. Rafael picked her up and sat her in his lap. “I can’t believe how dark her hair was when she was born and now 8 months later it’s almost the same color as yours but at least she has green eyes like Papi.”

“Yeah you won that one.”

“Are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine. Are you expecting someone?” Izzy asked when their doorbell rang.

“No, mi amor.”

She got up to answer it. Their doorman handed her a basket. She lifted up the blanket and found the cutest dachshund puppy with a pink bow on her neck. Rafael had scooped Emersyn up and met Izzy before she could come back to the den.

“I’ve missed that smile,” he said.

“Did you…”

“Yeah. You’ve been wanting a dog for a while. So, what are you going to name her?”

“Zuul,” she laughed.

“You are not naming her Zuul.”

“No. How about Lily?”

“I like it. I guess we need to get Lily some stuff to make her at home, huh?”


	44. Chapter 44

“So, I have some news,” Erin said as she and Izzy were finishing things up for Emersyn’s 1st birthday party while Rafael had taken Emersyn and Lily for a walk.

“Are you pregnant?”

“Please. You have to have sex to get pregnant. It’s been so long I’m wondering if anything’s changed. No, I’m joining the police academy in Chicago.”

“No way.”

“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it and I can’t help people working as a civilian in the Ivory Tower. You seem to enjoy it.”

“I really do. That’s great. What does Hank think?”

“He’s behind me. Cindy of course is worried out of her mind but she said if that’s what I want to do.”

“Well, I’m excited for you. I feel so proud to have inspired you,” Izzy said in a playful tone causing them both to laugh.

“So, what’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t drink at dinner last night. No glass of wine right now. There’s only two reasons I’ve ever known you not to drink and you’re not sick.”

“I just didn’t and don’t feel like having a drink. That’s all.”

“Izzy.”

“Erin,” she mocked. “Ugh, fine. Rafael doesn’t know yet. I went to the doctor the other day and had my bloodwork done, everything’s looking good and I’m going to tell him later.”

“I didn’t know you guys were trying again.”

“We started about two months ago but we haven’t said anything because of the miscarriage.”

“Understandable.”

“That means not a word that you know.”

“I’m not saying anything.”

 

After the party, everyone except Lucia and Miguel left. Lucia always insisted on helping clean up and shooed her daughter in law away. Erin was helping Izzy get Emersyn in the tub and ready for bed.

“You did good, mijo,” Miguel said as he and Rafael sat in the den, watching the Yankees and the Red Sox.

“How do you mean?”

“You got out of the Bronx, got a good education, stable career.”

“Yeah.”

“Not to mention the beautiful wife and adorable daughter. I’m proud of you.”

Rafael really didn’t know what to say so he just sort of nodded. 

“I know I put you and tu Mami through hell. Nothing will ever change that. I know you will never forgive me and you won’t ever forget it. I have no one to blame but myself. I could’ve been a better father to you than your grandfather was to me but I wasn’t. There’s no excuse. I see though that you are 100 times the father I should’ve been. All I can say is I’m sorry.”

Rafael thought for a moment. After all these years, his dad was finally admitting that he was terrible to him and Lucia. He could’ve let everything out but just decided it wasn’t worth it. “I appreciate that, Dad.”

 

Izzy laid in bed, reading a book while she waited on her husband to join her. “No, Lily. That’s Papi’s tie not a toy,” she could hear him saying down the hall, causing her to laugh. Her little legs ran as fast as she could and laid in her bed by theirs. “Brat,” he said as he got the green tie from the dog. 

“Did she damage it?”

“No,” he laughed. “I guess I won’t be leaving these on the back of my desk chair anymore.”

“She is getting bigger.”

“Well, our daughter is officially one.”

“She’ll be 16 before we know it.”

“Oh, don’t say that,” he said with a pout. 

“It will be fine. So, uh, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Is Erin wanting to move in the guestroom?”

“No,” Izzy laughed. “Um, actually, we’re not going to have a guestroom anymore.”

“Why? What are you going to do with it?”

“Well, in about 7 ½ months, it’s going to be turned into a nursery.”

It seemed like it took him a minute to piece together what she was saying. “Are you serious?”

She nodded as she said, “I saw Dr. Morgan the other day and my hormone levels look good.”

“That didn’t take long,” he smiled as he kissed her. “When are you due?”

“January 7th, 2007.”

“This is wonderful.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m calling Mami.”

“Not yet. 6 more weeks at least. After last time…”

“You’re right. I understand.”

“Also, remember what we talked about whenever I did get pregnant again?”

“Yeah?”

“So, are you still willing to do that?”

“Of course. Birth control needs to be the least of our worries raising two kids and working. I’ll schedule an appointment and have it done when you’re 5, 6 months along.”

“Thank you.”


	45. Chapter 45

“Bed rest does not mean you sit around and eat junk food.”

“I can’t help it if your son wants dill pickle potato chips with ranch dressing.”

“Give me the bag.”

“I…no. The whole point of this country is, if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds, and die of a heart attack at 43, you can. You are free to do so. To me, that’s beautiful.”

“Elizabeth.”

“Rafael.”

“Give me the chips.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“And the salad dressing.”

She reluctantly handed him the bottle.

“I don’t remember you eating weird shit like this with Emmie.”

“How’s she doing, by the way?”

“Your mom said she was fine. Mami will get her tomorrow.”

“I hate this.”

“I know, cariño,” he said as he kissed her hand, “but your blood pressure has been terrible.”

“Christmas is coming up and I’m going to have to spend it in bed. Emersyn is being shuttled between our parents while our nanny is out of town.”

“It’s only to keep the two of you safe.”

“I know. What did you bring for dinner?”

“Greek. You only mentioned it 16 times today, either by text or when I’d call you,” he laughed. “Stay right here and I’ll fix your plate.”

“Thank you.”

 

4 days before Christmas, Izzy went to her weekly check-up. “Izzy, you’ve got two choices but neither of them include going home,” Dr. Morgan told her.

“What?”

“We need to get him out today. You can get to the hospital and be induced or you can have a c-section this afternoon.”

“Wouldn’t the c-section be better with her blood pressure spiking?”

“Honestly, Rafael, yes, it would. It’s up to you, though.”

“What do you want to do, mi amor?”

“Let’s do the c-section.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, Rafa. I want him here safely.”

“Okay. Get her to the hospital and I’ll be there soon.”

 

Jackson Anthony Barba was born December 21st at 3:02 pm, 7lbs, 8oz, 20 inches long. Just like his big sister, he was born with dark hair.

“He remind you of anyone, Miguel?” Lucia asked when they came to visit that evening. 

“Looks just like his Papi when he was born.”

“When do you get to come home, Izzy?”

“Hopefully in two days.”

“His room is all ready?”

“Yes, Mami. I finished it last week.”

“How are you doing since your…procedure.”

“Mom! Do we have to discuss that? I’m 32.”

“I was just making sure you healed properly.”

“Yes, I did. End of story.”

Miguel kind of chuckled to himself at his wife and son’s exchange. After about an hour, Lucia and Miguel left so Rafael and Izzy could be alone with Jackson.

“Thank you,” Rafael whispered before placing a kiss on Izzy’s head while he sat on the bed next to her.

“For what?”

“The last 11 years.”

“You got 11 more in you?”

“And 11 after that, 11 after that, and god willing 11 after that,” he said with a grin.


	46. Chapter 46

In February 2007, Izzy was moved to Brooklyn SVU while Nick was sent to Warrants. She was able to forge a partnership with Chester Lake for the most part. That was until May of that year when he was moved to Manhattan SVU to take the load off during a high profile case. Luckily, Doom was sent over to take his place so Izzy was at least partnered with someone she knew. Emersyn had turned two in June of 2007, Jack was 6 months old and had started crawling. 

“Who’s on call this weekend?” Rafael asked as he rocked Jackson to sleep while Izzy was picking up his bedroom.

“Uh, Queens I think. Why?”

“Well, I thought maybe we could get out of the city for a few days.”

“What about the kids?”

“Oh, I think one set of grandparents wouldn’t mind keeping them. You and me, a couple of days in say, Niagara Falls? We haven’t been there since your senior year of college.”

“That was a fun weekend,” she remembered. 

“We didn’t have to worry about your brother or Erin. We never even left the room.”

“You think you can get us a flight to Buffalo and a room with just a few days…”

“Maybe I already did.”

“Really?”

“I knew one of the other SVU squads was on call this weekend, I just couldn’t remember who. Your parents are taking the kids and we will be in Niagara Falls 10:00 Friday morning.”

“Well, look at you. Still surprising me after all these years.”

“I do what I can.”

 

“It’s beautiful,” Izzy said as she walked out onto the balcony of their room that overlooked the falls.

“Even more so with you here.”

“You are so cheesy.”

“I try. So, what do you want to do first?”

“How about you?”

“I like the sound of that,” he said as he immediately started taking his clothes off.

“Hey, we’re kid-free. We don’t have to rush.”

“I can’t help it. I need you,” he said as he gently ran his fingers through her hair, resting his hand on the side of her face. Her heart was racing as they just stared at each other. It had been months since they had been able to take their time and actually breathe each other in. Intimacy of any kind had gone out the window for the most part with two small children. His lips met hers, softly at first only to deepen as did his grip on her waist while he pulled her closer to him. Her hands roamed up the back of his neck through his perfectly fixed hair. His tongue was welcomed into her mouth with an urgent thrusting that sent a fire racing through her body. Now her grip on his neck was just tight as she was seemingly holding on for her life.

He backed her onto the bed, his pupils almost taking over the green in his eyes as he moved from her lips to her neck, biting down and sucking softly, just enough to make her moan his name. They were taking their time, enjoying each other’s touch, their taste, everything they could.

She let out a soft moan as he slid into her once they were under the covers. “I love you so much,” he whispered as his hips rolled his dick into her slowly. She echoed his words as she held him tightly. They didn’t even know how long it had been once they finished. They were drenched in sweat as well as the sheets. It didn’t matter, though. They were enjoying their alone time. They didn’t even bother turning on the tv as the sounds of the falls could be heard from their room, which coupled with the love making they had just finished, was enough to lull them to sleep.


	47. Chapter 47

{2008}  
“Hey, Rossetti.”

“Odafin Tutuola. What brings you to Brooklyn?”

“I need to have a word with you, shorty. If that’s alright.”

“Yeah. Uh, you had lunch?”

“I could eat.”

“Come on. Doom tell Lieutenant Reece I’ll be back.”

“No problem, partner.”

“So, Fin. What can I do for you?”

“You heard from your ex-partner lately?”

“Lake? I talked to him three or four days ago. He asked if I still had a box of cold case files he had given me. He was supposed to come pick it up but he never showed. He okay?”

“I’m not sure.” Fin proceeded to tell Izzy about the shoot-out involving Lake and a detective from a murder case that had been cold for 10 years. Lake was wounded, the other detective dead, and Lake wouldn’t answer any questions. He escaped from the hospital and now they had no idea where he was.

“Jesus. You think he meant to kill Kralick?”

“I don’t know. I’ve worked with him about as long as you did. Hang on,” he said as he answered his phone. “They found him.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’s in an abandoned building…”

“Is he armed?”

“Benson didn’t say. I gotta go.”

“I’m coming with you.”

 

“Detective Rossetti, I’d say it’s nice to see you.”

“Likewise, Cragen.”

Fin brought Izzy a bulletproof vest. “Just what in the hell do you two think you’re doing?”

“We’re going in, Captain.”

“Fin.”

“Captain look, everybody wants him and the hostage out alive. The best way for that to happen is if Rossetti and I go in there and you know that.”

“Fine. I’m calling Reece and telling him I called you over here, Rossetti.”

“Thanks.”

“No. They can’t go in there,” the ESU Captain told Cragen as he tried to stop them. 

“That’s Lake’s partner and ex-partner.”

“I don’t care if they’re long last family members…”

“You want him out and the hostage safe without bloodshed? Let them work,” Cragen instructed. 

“Let them go,” the ESU Captain told his people who let Fin and Izzy in the building. They both had their guns drawn as they found Lake and his hostage, the witness from the original case. 

“One of you really willing to shoot me in the back?”

“If we have to,” Izzy reluctantly told her former partner.

“What are you doing?” Celia Cruz, the hostage asked.

“Take it easy. He’s my partner and her old partner. We both know he isn’t going to use that gun,” Fin told her.

“Only because I’m low on ammo.”

“Chester just hand me the gun and let’s get out of here. All of us alive,” Izzy told him.

“Looking forward to the perp walk, Izzy?”

“Somebody’s gotta take the credit, right? Let it be one of us.”

“ESU is getting into position.”

“And you know what happens next,” Fin said. “They’re gonna throw in a few flash bangs and we’ll all be blind and deaf.”

After a lot more talking, Fin and Izzy finally got Chester to surrender his weapon and Izzy walked Celia out. 

 

Izzy was at the 16th filling out her reports on the incident when her Lieutenant walked in to talk to Cragen. She wasn’t trying to pay too much attention to Cragen and Reece as she finished. “You did good out there, Rossetti.”

“Hey, thanks, Stabler.”

“Rossetti?”

“Yes, Lieutenant?”

“Can I see you in the Captains office?”

“Uh sure.”

“Have a seat,” Cragen told her.

“Am I in trouble?”

“No, no. With the loss of Lake, I’m going to be down a detective. I told Reece about the bravery you showed today.”

“Part of my job.”

“How would you like to come over to the 16th?”

“Seriously? Lieutenant are you trying to get rid of me?”

“No. I don’t want you to leave Brooklyn but he does outrank me.”

“It’s ultimately your decision, detective.”

“Can I think about it, Captain?”

“Of course. A week long enough?”

“Actually, yeah.”

“Okay. You’ll give me your answer in a week. Is that your paperwork?”

“Yes, sir.”

“She’s very thorough,” Reece laughed as Izzy handed the file to Cragen.”

“I can see that. Take my card and I’ll expect your answer in no less than 7 days.”


	48. Chapter 48

“I’m so glad I’m no longer the only woman here,” Liv laughed as Izzy sat up her new desk. Rafael was more than supportive about her move to Manhattan SVU. So much so, he offered to sell their Park Slope apartment and buy one in Manhattan so she’d be closer to her new precinct. She loved their Brooklyn apartment though. In the years they had been living there, a lot of memories had already been made. Emmie and Jack had come home and started growing up in that apartment.

“You have two kids?”

“Yeah, Stabler. A girl and a boy.”

“Are you married?”

“I might be.”

“Leave her alone, cranky balls,” Fin said.

“I’m just trying to get to know her.”

“Well maybe she doesn’t want you to.”

Stabler just threw his hands up and walked away.

“I guess you’re not transferring after all?” Izzy asked Fin.

“Some red tape bullshit. So, I guess we’re gonna be partners.”

“I can handle that.”

“I would say your kids are at least half Latino of some kind, Puerto Rican maybe?” Munch said as he took the picture of the kids off of Izzy’s desk.

“Something like that,” she said as she grabbed it back.

“Okay, Fin. I’ve got something for you and your new partner,” Cragen said as he came out of his office.

“You ready, kid?”

“No time like the present, Fin.”

 

“Yogurt for AIDS? Have you lost your mind?” Izzy asked Dr. Gideon Hutton. Fin and Izzy had been called in when a baby with advanced AIDS had went untreated as the “foster” parents took her to a doctor that was an AIDS denialist. He told his patients that HIV didn’t cause AIDS and offered so-called alternative treatment. 

“Antonia Suarez presented with a minor case of thrush, and I chose an alternative treatment, which has worked very well.”

“Well enough that she nearly died from it,” Fin responded. 

“And then, as I instructed the Marongs, they should have come back for more therapy.”

“Like what? Pudding?” Izzy scoffed.

“No. Anti-fungal medication, as any medical professional would prescribe.”

“No. A medical professional would have given the child that's HIV-positive medicine on the first visit. You're a quack,” Fin told him. 

“We're through.” 

“How many people have you cured with vitamins and yogurt?” 

“I have patients waiting.” 

“God help them.”

 

“Babe I know it’s terrible but there are people out there that believe HIV doesn’t cause AIDS,” Rafael told her as he tried to feed Jackson. “Come on, Jack. Just one more bite for Papi. Hmm?”

Their almost 2-year-old son just steadily shook his head.

“You like applesauce, remember?”

The dark-haired, green eyed toddler crossed his arms, not willing to budge. “Cookie.”

“No, mijo. No cookies. You need to finish…” Rafael didn’t get his sentence out before Jackson had grabbed the spoon and flung the applesauce onto his father. Emersyn and Izzy were doing their best not to laugh. “I guess he made his point.”

“Here, Papi,” Emmie said as she handed Rafael her napkin. 

“Thank you, mija.”

“He’s done a lot worse to you.”

“Oh, I remember. Why is he so stubborn?”

“I’m sorry. Who is his father again?”

“Mami I’m full.”

“Okay, Emmie. Go get ready for your bath and I’ll be there in just a minute.”

Their 4-year-old practically skipped down the hall as she did what her mother told her. 

“You’re okay with just 2, right?”

“Of course, Rafa. We both work demanding jobs and I think two is plenty. Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” he shrugged.

“Are you sure?”

Rafael got hit with another handful of applesauce from Jackson. “I am absolutely sure,” he laughed.


	49. Chapter 49

{Fall 2011}  
Izzy had settled nicely into Manhattan SVU since her transfer in 2008; although things didn’t always go so swimmingly with the squad. One of the CSU techs, Dale Stuckey had botched a case against a very mentally man, Peter Harrison, then tried to frame Peter for murders he committed himself. He even went so far as to murder his colleague, Brian O’Halloren when it came to light that Stuckey had murdered Peter’s defense attorney. In the spring of 2011, the daughter of recently murdered rape victim opened fire in the squad room, leaving Stabler no choice but to shoot her. It scarred him so bad, he took his pension, even though he was cleared by IAB.

A blond detective with a southern accent met Izzy and Cragen at the elevator as they were heading out on their latest case involving an Italian diplomat accused of raping a hotel maid. “Come on, Captain. This guy is shit. He’s a rat, he’s dirty…”

“Captain? Captain Cragen?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m Detective Amanda Rollins. You interviewed me last month?”

“You picked a hell of first day. I’ll fill you in later.”

“You can fill me in now. I’m ready to work.”

“Fine. Detective Izzy Rossetti, Detective…”

“Rollins. Got it, Cap.”

 

“Mami, look what I made,” Emersyn said as Jessica, the Barba’s nanny brought her and Jack to see their mom at work. “See? That’s a gun and that’s you.”

“I love it, baby girl. Thank you.”

“I made something for Papi, too. That’s a briefcase cause he’s a…”

“Emmie shh. Remember we don’t tell what Papi does?”

“Lo siento, Mami.”

“It’s okay. Jack how was preschool?”

“Fine, Mami. Where are the big guns?”

“We keep those locked away.”

“Aw, man.”

“Hey, Emmie.”

“Hey, Miss Benson.”

“You get bigger every time I see you,” Liv laughed as she bent down to hug Emersyn.

“What about me?

“And you do too, Jack. I can’t believe how big you guys are since we first met.”

 

“Okay kids. I need to get you back home,” Jessica said cheerfully. 

“Can we go by Papi’s office?” Emmie asked.

Jessica looked at Izzy who gave her a nod signaling it was okay to take them by Rafael’s office.

“Sure, guys. Come on.”

“So, Izz, are we ever going to meet this husband of yours?”

“Maybe one day, Liv.”

 

“Okay, guys, listen up,” Cragen said as he walked up with another new detective joining SVU. “This is detective…”

“Holy shit, Serpico?!”

“Izz?!” 

The former partners hugged upon seeing each other for the first time in forever. Liv was taken aback by Izzy’s welcome to Nick. She wasn’t thrilled about Rollins coming aboard and even less so about another man. She felt as if Cragen was trying to erase any memory of Elliot.

“Well, Rossetti, since the two of you know each other, take Nick Amaro with you. Get his feet wet,” Cragen said. 

“Not a problem.”

“Oh, and Amaro, you’re off the streets now. Get yourself cleaned up but don’t let Fin take you clothes shopping.”

“Copy that, Captain.”

“Why the fuck did you come to SVU?” Izzy asked as they drove to question a witness in their latest case.

“I needed a change, man. Damn it’s good to see you. How are the kids?”

“Growing up. How’s Zara? How’s Maria?”

“Zara is great. Maria is overseas again.”

“Damn, man. That’s gotta be rough.”

“It is. How’s Barba?”

“Good. Still in Brooklyn. Oh, FYI, no one here knows who I’m married to.”

“Really? Everyone knew in Brooklyn.”

“Yeah, but when I moved over here, we decided to try and keep things quiet. It’s actually worked so far, believe it or not. I can’t wait to tell him you’re over here with me.”

“I text him a few times. Never got a response.”

“Oh, he changed his number a couple of years ago.”

“Well that would’ve been nice to know.”

“If you hadn’t been busy taking down the MS-13 case, he might’ve gotten in touch with you.”

“Eh, what can I say?”


	50. Chapter 50

{Summer 2012}

“So, since I’m moving to the Manhattan DA’s office, I think it’s time for us to find a place over there,” Rafael said as he kissed his wife’s neck while they laid in bed.

“You think so?”

“Hmm-mm.”

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Will you put that book down?”

“Why?”

“You know I just had a case where the jury deadlocked because they read that book.”

“I wasn’t on that jury. Erin said this book is even raunchier than ’50 Shades’ which I never read.”

“Anything in there that peeks your interest?”

“Well, there is this chapter about the guy chocking the female character with a belt.”

“We’ve talked about that kind of stuff. Would you want to use a belt?”

“Maybe one of your ties.”

“I could do that. I could also use my hand.”

“You do whatever you feel like…Papi.”

A low growl came from his throat. He got up and grabbed the pink tie he had worn earlier that day. “On your knees, putita.” 

She did as he said while he put the tie around her neck while he kissed and sucked her neck before he slammed his dick into her. He fucked her slowly from behind while holding the tie. “Tell me when my dick is about to make you come, mi amor,” he whispered before sucking on her ear lobe.

“Oh, God, Papi! I’m…almost…there,” she moaned as he pulled the silk tie tight around her neck. She passed out for maybe 30 seconds and had the most mind blowing orgasm he had ever given her. 

“Are you okay?”

“I’m perfect, Rafa,” she said softly.

“Let me see your neck,” he said as he turned his lamp on. “A little red. It’ll be gone by tomorrow.”

 

There was so much drama that same summer. Captain Cragen was found in bed with a dead hooker. All signs pointed to him having murdered her, bringing in the now Captain Harris to run the squad. Liv, Izzy, Munch, Fin, Amanda, and Nick worked hours upon hours to prove their Captain was innocent. They finally caught a break when they proved that the prosecutor that was handling the case was in the pocket of one of the madam, Delia Wilson, they had been investigating. Even though all charges were dropped against Cragen, Harris was still left in charge. Then they caught the case of the author of the book Izzy loved so much, “25 Acts, Jocelyn Paley. She claimed she had been raped by political talk show host Adam Cain. First she didn’t want to press charges until he raped her again in an elevator at a party in her honor.

“Rossetti, glad you could join us,” her “Rabbi” Harris said as she met him, Benson, and Rollins on the steps outside the precinct.

“Kids, ya know.”

“Come on. He’s taking us to the only DA that Delia Wilson didn’t have dirt on,” Amanda chuckled.

 

They got to the courthouse just in time to see her husband finishing an arraignment. 

“Come on, Barba. The vic was drunk, her memory spotty. Aggravated assault,” the defense attorney offered.

“Your client? A jury takes one look at the simian carriage, the Neanderthal jaw, I'll get him convicted for kidnapping the Lindbergh baby. So how about he takes ten and spares us all the humiliation?”

“Call you in the morning,” the attorney said, knowing he was beat.

“Captain Harris. Take your daughters to work day,” he said with that fucking smirk.

“Detectives Rollins and Benson. Rafael Barba. I lied and told them you know your way around a court room.”

“Uh what about Izzy, Captain Harris?” Rollins asked.

“We worked together in Brooklyn,” Rafael said with a slight grin as he looked at his wife.

 

“Do you think we can work together, mi amor?” Rafael asked as they ate dinner.

“We did in Brooklyn.”

“I just don’t want any cases coming between us.”

“We’ve done good all this time.”

“I know,” he smiled. 

“Look. Nick, Fin, and Munch went to Maryland to Jocelyn’s college. We’ll find the inspiration for the book to prove her case.”

“What did you do with your copy?”

“It’s already been recycled. I couldn’t deal with that book in our house after what happened to her.”

“More questions? Why?” Jocelyn asked as she, Amanda, and Izzy sat in Rafael’s new office.

“We're worried the defense is going to produce the man that you based the book on,” Amanda told her. 

“I told you, it's fiction.” 

“But, Jocelyn, it's so specific, you must have experimented with submission,” Izzy said.

“Well, in college.”

“Not with Craig. Come on, the only knots he's ever tied was when he was in the boy scouts,” Amanda said.

“Yeah, not Craig. Another guy.” 

“Oh, so you cheated on him,” Rafael interjected.

“What? No.”

“No?” 

“I did a semester abroad. The character's based on someone I met in the villa. He was into bondage. Why does any of this matter?”

“Where'd you meet him? A hotel? His home? Do you have his address?” Rafael asked as he was growing more and more frustrated. 

“I don't. What is this, 20 questions?”

“No, Jocelyn, just one. Who wrote the book?” Izzy asked.

“You found out? How?”

“I told you the first day the one thing you decide not to tell us is the one thing the defense is gonna use to destroy you. What were you thinking?”

“Barba, she gets it,” Izzy said.

“Do they know?”

“No, but we're gonna have to tell them,” Amanda told her.

“No, n--you can't. You can't tell anyone. It'll ruin my career. My life. Please don't-- don't tell anyone. It was Professor Dobson's idea to put my name on the book. She is an academic. She was worried about her reputation. I owe $90,000 in college debt. The year before this I made $2,600 writing. She gave me 10%. I've made connections.”

“You were raped,” Izzy told her. “And you lied to the Grand Jury.”

“I had to. If I ever say I didn't write the book, I lose all the money.”

“That's part of the book contract?” Amanda asked.

“Yes. I-I wanna drop the charges. I can't testify.”

“Drop the charges, and your secret's gonna come out anyway when I indict you. Lying to the Grand Jury? That's a crime,” Rafael said as he slammed a copy of the book on his desk. 

“You'll indict me?”

“You don't testify, you're looking at perjury.”

Jocelyn ran out of his office with Amanda following close behind.

“That was hardball,” Izzy told her husband.

“I wasn't playing.”

“Yeah, I got that. Does this in any way possibly help us? You were worried that the jury was gonna hold the book against her, but she didn't write it so…”

“They'll see her as a liar,” he said as he stared off into space.


	51. Chapter 51

“You said that she wanted it rough, so show me how she likes it. Show me, show me. Let me see how she liked it,” Rafael told Adam Cain after he had taken his own belt off and put it around his neck. Izzy didn’t know what the hell her husband was up to and was almost afraid to find out. 

“Objection!” 

“Let's proceed cautiously, Mr. Barba.”

“All right, take the belt in your hands, Mr. Cain. Feel the leather? Hold the belt. Now, show me how you pulled on the belt. You can do better than that. You call that being dominant? Show me. Show me! Show me, pull it! Pull it. Pull it! Tell me how you like it! Show me how you like it, Mr. Cain! Come on, pull it, pull it!” 

Cain finally fell for Rafael’s goading and pulled the belt as hard and tight as he could. The entire gallery gasped in shock. “Not a mark. Not a mark. Not a mark. People's exhibit 20. Jocelyn Paley's neck after their consensual sex game. Is this what excites you about sex, Mr. Cain? Hurting your victims?”

“She liked it like that.” 

“You mean Jocelyn? You liked it like that. She didn't.”

 

Izzy waited on her husband in his office after court.

“Hey,” he smiled as he walked in and shut the door.

The first thing she did was look around his neck.

“I’m fine, cariño,” he said as he placed his hands on her hips and kissed her.

“He could’ve hurt you.”

“I was never in any danger. I’ve done the same thing to you.”

“That’s different. You knew when to stop and you used a silk tie, not a leather belt.”

“I think the jury saw the real Adam Cain though.”

“I hope so.”

“Come on. Let’s get home to the kids.”

 

“So, Christmas in Switzerland. You’re serious? We don’t ski.”

“We don’t have to ski, mi amor,” Rafael laughed. “I just thought it would be nice to do something different.”

“This is your mom’s first Christmas without your dad.”

“And she’s going to Miami with Abuelita. Your parents are going on a cruise. Let’s take the kids and do something just us.”

“Can we afford it? I mean we just bought this apartment…”

“You worry too much,” Rafael said with that smirk. “Of course, we can afford it. I wouldn’t have mentioned it if we couldn’t. We can even take the dog.”

“Okay, let’s do it.”

 

“Going to Switzerland for Christmas? Sounds like fun.”

“Aren’t you going to the Bahamas, Liv?”

“Yeah,” she smiled.

“Who are you going with?”

“A friend.”

“I’m sure.”

“I can have secrets, too, you know? Who’s going to save Rollins from the creepy guy from the morgue at the Christmas party this year?”

“I’m going to tap Fin in on that.”

“Oh, thanks, Izz.”

“Fin is your partner, Amanda. Who better to take care of you than him? Okay, I gotta run. Make sure my kids are ready and get to the airport.”

“Have fun. Bring me back something.”

“Same goes for you, Liv. Merry Christmas, guys.”


	52. Chapter 52

Izzy had come back from getting the kids to bed to hear her husband on the phone.

“I’d really love to help you but I’m actually sitting in front of a fire in Gstadd right now. There’s plenty of other ADAs still at work. Go find one of them,” he said as he threw his blackberry down on the table.

“Who was that?”

“Rollins. My assistant is obviously useless.”

“What’s going on?”

“Something about Fin’s ex brother in law. I didn’t even really listen. I told Amy to make sure the detectives knew I was going to be out of the country.”

“Amanda doesn’t always listen either. Come on. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Work is thousands of miles away.”

“Emmie is worried that Santa is not going to find her,” he laughed. 

“I think I got her convinced she has nothing to worry about finally. Jack even told her to quit worrying.”

“So, been together 17 years, married for 10 of them, two kids, good careers, and a dog. I think we’ve done good.”

“You’ve come a long way from that smartass in the Harvard bookstore that told me I had a chip on my shoulder. I was a Freshman like I knew which Professor taught what and how.”

“I was a little hard on you. It worked though.”

“It was how many months before we got together?”

“I took care of you that Thanksgiving.”

“I remember.”

“You even kissed me first.”

“On the cheek.”

“Still, you made the first move.”

“I was drugged on Nyquil.”

“Oh, is that right?” He laughed as he moved in to kiss her.

“I think we should continue that in the bedroom,” she told him.

 

{2013}  
They had actually done a pretty good job of keeping their relationship quiet, even though Amanda had her suspicions. She’d noticed the looks, the slight touches. Nick found it kind of funny. He needed a reason to laugh after Maria took a job in DC and taking Zara with her. On top of that, he had also found out he was the father of a 9-year-old son from his undercover days. This was brought up during Brian Cassidy’s rape trial which of course turned out to be a complete fabrication orchestrated by the pimp he worked undercover for. It was brought to light during this trial that Liv and Brian were dating again. They had dated for a short time 13 years before.

“We got patrol lined up to take Mother Teresa here to Central Booking?” Izzy said referring to their latest prostitution bust, involving a Chinese organization.

“Well, actually, no. with Mrs. Chang. Dragon ladies sell papers, so make sure the cars are washed, doors unlocked,” Cragen told them. 

“Perp walk? I left my tie at home,” Fin shrugged.

“I keep an extra one in my locker,” Nick told him.

“I'm sure you do.” 

“Well, I wouldn't worry about it. Spotlight is gonna be on Rossetti. She was lead on the case.” 

“You know these guys just slow me down,” she joked.

They got the pimps and Mrs. Chang into the cars after walking them down the stairs of the precinct, through a sea of reporters.

Izzy was going to the other side of the car when the worst pain hit her shoulder, causing her to be thrown against the car. Nick and Fin got over to her while Amanda and Liv took off toward a building 100 feet away with a rooftop. Nick took off his jacket to slow the bleeding coming from Izzy’s shoulder. “This was my favorite jacket,” she managed to say.

“Shit,” Nick laughed. “You’re laying here bleeding in the middle of the street and you’re worried about your jacket?” He picked her up and got her in the backseat of the car.

 

“What’s Barba doing here?” Liv asked as she saw him walking up with Nick.

“They’ve known each other for a while. Maybe they’re…friends?” Amanda suggested.

“Hey, look who I found,” Nick said as he brought Rafael in the room.

“Hey,” she said in her drugged state.

“Oh, they got her feeling good,” Rafael laughed. “Nick said it was straight through and through.”

“In and out. And look, I have a button. Watch. I can push it…aw, I can’t get any more drugs for a while. Now this day sucks.”

“I shouldn’t laugh but how much of this is she going to remember?”

“I was thinking we should be recording this, myself, Barba. I’ll leave you two alone.”

“All these years and you get shot during a perp walk.”

“I have the damndest luck. I tell ya. Get shot and now I can’t have any more drugs.”

“I don’t think you’re feeling much pain.”

“You know what would make me feel better?”

“What’s that?”

She pulled him to her with her good arm and he kissed her softly.

“Hey, Izz, I brought you a diet…oops!”

“Hey, Liv.”

“Detective Benson.”

“Wait...you and you. He’s your husband you’ve kept from us all these years. Amanda was right that there was something going on between the two of you.”

“We’ve had something going on for almost 18 years. Anything else, Detective?” He said with his smirk.

“Uh, no,” Liv said with a huge smile on her face. “I brought your, uh, wife a diet coke. Figured she was thirsty for something besides water.”

“Ooh, gimme. Thanks, Liv.”

“No problem.”


	53. Chapter 53

“Are you sure you want to spend our one day we take a month for ourselves with Amanda at the park?”

“Yes babe. That’s the whole point of this day. You do your thing and I do mine. Your mom has the kids. Amanda and I are going to take the dogs out, walk around. Besides, I do not want to be on a boat with my brother and your friends from college. I get enough of them throughout the year as it is. Especially Tony.”

“Yacht. Not just a boat.”

“Whatever,” she said as she rolled her eyes. “Hand me my shoes, please.”

“Which ones?”

“The pink and white Nikes.”

“You got enough time before Amanda shows up?” He asked as he pulled her into his body. He was still in his towel from his shower he had just taken, hair still damp as was his skin. Within seconds his tongue was massaging hers as he grabbed her ass, squeezing hard enough to possibly leave a bruise. She took the towel from his waist and threw it on the floor as the fell back onto the bed. He unzipped the thin pink jacket she was wearing over a white spaghetti strap tank top. He snaked his arm around her lower back as if he could pull her any closer to him than she already was. “Fuck,” he said when they heard the doorbell. “Tell her to come back in 15 minutes.”

“Rafa…”

“You’re just going to leave me like this? What am I going to do with this? You see how hard it is?”

“I’ll make it up to you tonight. I promise.”

“You better.”

“Have fun, try not to drink too much.”

“You and Rollins behave yourselves. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“About time she answered the door, huh, Frannie?”

“Sorry, Amanda. I was…nevermind.”

“Ohhh, I got ya. So, Nick’s got the kids and they might meet up with us.”

“Sounds good. Come on, Lily.”

“Sorry, Barba!!” Amanda yelled inside.

“Go to hell, Rollins,” he yelled back. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Izzy said as they both laughed.

 

Amanda and Izzy were playing with their dogs when a very tall man came running by with two girls chasing after him, yelling for him to be stopped. Amanda commanded Frannie to run after him as she followed while Izzy stopped the two girls to talk to them and an older woman who came up, too. They got the man, and the three women to the precinct and began calling everybody on their day off once they found out William Lewis had burned his fingers so getting any prints to see if he was in the system was impossible. He had no ID, he was unemployed. He thought he was charming which just made them both disgusted beyond belief.  
“How about we call this disorderly conduct, everybody goes home?” Lewis asked as Izzy walked away from the holding cell.

“How about you shut the fuck up and let us do our jobs?”

“Ooohh, tough girl. So sorry, officer.”

“It’s Detective. Second grade as a matter of fact.”

“My bad, honey.”

Cragen wouldn’t let Amanda or Izzy interview him, sending Nick and Olivia in instead, while he took Izzy with him to question Alice Parker, who had witnessed Lewis exposing himself to the young Finnish tourists.

“This guys is a piece of work,” Nick said as him and Liv came after Lewis asked for a lawyer. “Good call, you two.”

“Where's the fire, Rollins?” Barba said as he walked up.

“Where were you, on your yacht?” Liv chuckled.

“Not my yacht.”

“And you were on a doggy play date with Rollins?” She asked Izzy.

“We don’t have to spend every day off together.” 

“What are we looking at?” 

“William Lewis, unemployed drifter. We have three witnesses who saw him expose himself in Central Park.” 

“Really? And you called me in here for a class "B" misdemeanor because you wanted to use up all your favors in one fell swoop?”

“Just listen to her, Rafael, please,” his wife pleaded before he got too snarky.

 

“I still can’t believe that son of a bitch raped Alice Parker and really thinks he can get away with an insanity defense.”

“You better nail his ass to the wall,” Izzy told her husband.

“Vic ID’d him, we got DNA. I’ll get her in front of the grand jury tomorrow. He’s not getting out of this.”

“Liv what’s going on?” Izzy asked as she answered her phone. “You’re kidding. Yeah, I’ll tell him. Thanks.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Alice Parker is dead.”

“Goddammit,” he said as he slammed the dishwasher shut. 

“You’ve tried cases with a lot less and won.”

“But this mother fucker…he’s 4 for 4 already.”

“And you are Rafael Barba. The man that got two johns convicted for raping a hooker. That wasn’t easy. You can do this, too.”

“I sure hope you’re right.”

 

Izzy probably would’ve been right had it not been for cross-contamination in the lab with DNA samples, causing a mistrial.

“Tell you what, who wants to come with me and just shoot the son of a bitch?”

“I’m with Rollins.”

“Rossetti, Rollins, enough,” Cragen told them.

“I’ll take them out for something to drink and make sure the Counselor keeps a lid on his wife. Anyone else while my wallet’s open?”

“Yeah, come on, Nick.”

“Next time, Izzy. I got plans.”

“Cynthia and Gil?”

“Yeah,” he said with a smile.

“Good. Have fun.”


	54. Chapter 54

“No, Nick. Listen, man. All I’m saying is pimps and preachers are the same because they make you pay for something you could get on your own.” Izzy and Nick were in the middle of another non-sensical debate they had engaged in over the years. Nick just laughed as he shook his head.

“Brian, flowers You didn't have to,” Izzy joked when Cassidy walked into the precinct. 

“Yeah, you wish. Hey, have you seen Liv?” 

“Cragen gave her two days off. She didn't tell you?” 

“No. We were supposed to hook up yesterday, but I got roped into a double shift.” 

“So, you stood her up? Nice move,” Nick scoffed.

Izzy tried to call Liv’s landline but no answer. Cragen instructed them all to head to Benson’s apartment. It was trashed, blood was found, the smell of burnt flesh filled the air. They worked night and day until they found her. 

“If I had gotten the conviction, this never would’ve happened.”

“Rafa you didn’t screw up the samples in the lab that forced the mistrial.”

“I keep telling myself that but it’s not working.”

“Why don’t I get you another drink, babe?”

“Can we just go to bed? I just want to lay next to you.”

“Yeah,” Izzy said with a small smile as she ran her hand through her husband’s hair.

 

If the William Lewis case and following incident wasn’t bad enough, that long, hot summer was capped off with the shooting of Mechad Carter. Celebrity chef Jolene Castille shot him in front of her brownstone, claiming self-defense. Everything pointed otherwise. Rafael’s closing argument was so emotionally charged, tears weren’t just in the eyes of the people in the gallery but his as well. As a father he couldn’t imagine the pain Mechad’s parents felt. When the jury came back with a verdict of not guilty, Izzy knew her husband would not take it lightly. She got home after he did and found him in his home office. He had his feet propped up on his desk, tie halfway undone, sleeves rolled up, half empty glass of whiskey in his hand. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he said not taking his eyes off his glass. She sat on his desk by his feet but didn’t say anything. “I have had my share of losses and mistrials in my career. Today was the first time I ever felt like I actually failed at my job.”

“You made a strong case…”

“It wasn’t strong enough apparently.”

The kids came running in after Jessica had picked them up from whatever summer activity they had that day. Rafael and Izzy kept them busy during the summers so they didn’t just sit in front of their TVS or iPads all day, every day. He got out of his chair and bent down to take them both in his arms and held them as tight as he could.

“Papi why are you crying?”

“I had a very bad day at work, Emmie. I’m just…I’m so lucky to have you guys.”

“We’re lucky to have you, too,” she said as she placed a kiss on her father’s cheek. 

“Why don’t you two go play on your iPads for a little bit while Mami and I figure something out for dinner.”

“Chinese.”

“Jack there’s more options besides Chinese.”

“But it sounds good.”

“We’ll see. Go on.”

“We can have Chinese, that’s fine,” Izzy said after the kids went to their rooms.

“Take a personal day with me tomorrow.”

“Uh, okay.”

“We can give Jessica the day off. I just want some time with my family. This summer has been shitty to say the least. I know our sex life is suffering and…”

“It’s okay. It’ll get better. Every relationship goes through dry spells.”

“When have we in almost 18 years?”

“It’ll be fine. I’ll call Munch and tell him I need a day tomorrow. He’ll understand, I’m sure.”

 

“So, we’re just going to stay home all day?”

“Yes, we are, Jackson.”

“Do I have to get dressed?”

“You can stay in your pajamas if you want. I’m going to, Mami’s going to.”

“So, will I. You never take off work, Papi. Why today?”

“I just wanted to spend some time with you and your sister and Mami.”

“Can we have pizza today?”

“You are just like your mother, always thinking about your next meal when your first one hasn’t had time to digest,” he snickered at his son. “I think we can make that happen.”

“Ice cream?”

“Probably. I’m not sure what all Mami bought last night for today. Now, go pick out a movie and meet me in mine and Mami’s room.”

The four off them laid in Rafael and Izzy’s California king and watched “The Lion King”, “Monsters Inc”, “The Lorax”, “Hotel Transylvania” while junk food was consumed by the truck load it seemed. They had no concern for the time, work, or anything else that day. They didn’t even make the kids go to their rooms that night. Jack fell asleep against his father’s back like he did when he’d crawl in bed with them when he was 3 or 4. Emmie crowded her mother; she could be quiet bed hog at times. They didn’t care though. With a kid to the side of both them, Rafael and Izzy still managed to fall asleep like they did every night, facing each other with his arm draped over her.


	55. Chapter 55

“I still can’t believe Alex Munoz is running for mayor,” Izzy scoffed as she threw her copy of The Ledger on her desk.

“You know him?”

“Yes, I do, Rollins. His wife, too.”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re exactly fond of either of them.”

“It’s a long story, Amanda. Holy shit.”

“What? You know that guy, too?” Amanda asked as Izzy watched Nick and Fin walk a tall Hispanic man into an interrogation room.

“Actually, I do,” she said as she picked up her desk phone. “Hey, Carmen.”

“Oh, hey detective.”

“Is my…”

“Your husband just left and he was heading your way actually.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll keep an eye out. Thanks.”

“What’s going on?”

“I’ll tell you later, Rollins.”

 

“So, Alex came by and asked you to help Eddie?” Izzy asked her husband as they had lunch.

“Eddie’s been working on Alex’s campaign, driving him around, and what-not. You know Eddie wasn’t messing with that girl. You said yourself she was off.”

“She told some guy she wanted him to murder her vagina, whatever the fuck that meant.”

“See?”

“Eddie had $2,000 on him. Where did he get that from and what was it for? Lindsay’s not pregnant.”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m going to tell you Nick’s theory. He thinks Lindsay wasn’t shaking down Eddie.”

“Who does Nick think…no. You know better. He’d never do that to Yelina.”

“Okay.”

 

More and more signs were pointing to Alex, putting Nick and Barba at odds because McCoy wanted Barba to stay on the case given the optics. The more they dug around, the more women they found that Alex had been sexting with, among other things they were sure. Yelina even went to Rafael’s office one night, trying to find out some information because she knew Alex was lying to her. Rafael couldn’t tell her anything of course.

“So, Alex, a.k.a. Enrique Trouble, used his position to get a former porn star a patronage job in Albany?” Rafael asked Izzy after he met up with her and Nick. 

“They started off just sending each other junk shots. Then six months later, she started texting him about her kid and how she was having problems making ends meet.”

“And he helped her out?” 

“Well, not until she told him she got a call from a reporter wanting to collaborate on a book. Then Alex started paying her off $500 a month, until he got into the mayor's race. Then he came up with the state job.” 

“Anything to show the money trail? Checks, wire deposits?” 

“Munoz is too smart for that. He had a bag man deliver the cash every time,” Nick told him. 

“And I know the bag man, don't I?”

“What are you going to do, Counselor?”

“I’ll be late for dinner,” he told his wife as he walked off.

He went to the Bronx to pay Eddie a visit. He wasn’t at home but Eddie’s mom told Raf where he could be found.

“How much trouble am I in, Raffi?”

“Witness tampering Bribery. Eddie, those are felonies.”

“I can't roll on Alex.” 

“You have got to think about yourself now. Jail's gonna go hard for an ex C.O. Alex is looking out for himself now. You've got your son and your mother to think about. You're not gonna be any good to them upstate.” 

“You tell me what I should do. You were always the smart one.”

 

Instead of it just being a political corruption case, it turned into child pornography charges when they found out he had been exchanging pictures with a 15-year-old from Yonkers. Rafael went to confront him at some gala and try to talk him into suspending the campaign. Alex wasn’t backing down. “I know what this is really about, Rafael. This is still about Yelina.”

“Really? You think that this is some 20-year grudge?”

“Then what is it?”

“The fact that you broke the law! Several as a matter of fact. But if it helps you sleep at night thinking I still have feelings for your wife, by all means.”

Izzy and Nick walked up. “Are you sure about this?”

“I’m going to tell you what I would tell you a year from now, two years from now, 20 years from now. Just do your thing, babe.”

“Hands behind your back, Alex.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“I think we can talk McCoy into adding resisting arrest to your charges if you’d like,” Nick told him.

He put his hands behind his back so Izzy could handcuff him and read him his rights. She and Nick walked him to their car while Rafael looked on. Yelina had been watching from the doorway and ran to her husband. “You won’t get away with this,” she told Izzy. 

“I think I already did. Now, get the fuck out of my face and stay away from my husband.


	56. Chapter 56

“Hey, babe. You missed dinner,” Izzy said to Rafael when he got home.

“I got a couple of drinks with Liv. Now that Lewis is locked up for the rest of his life, she can finally breathe.”

“I think everybody can. So, you and Liv seem to be getting a lot closer.”

“You’re not getting jealous are you, cariño?”

“No. I mean I hang out with Nick.”

“True. Liv just needed someone to talk to that wasn’t Cassidy.”

“Everything okay with them?”

“I guess. She didn’t really talk about him much,” he shrugged.

Truth be told, Izzy was a little jealous of Raf’s growing friendship with her now Sergeant but she knew Benson had been through a lot since the summer and she needed a friend sometimes. Plus, like she pointed out, Izzy did hang out with Nick without her husband so it wasn’t like she could really get upset. She just didn’t like when he missed dinner because he was having drinks with Liv. They still hadn’t quite gotten out of their “rough patch”. Sure, they didn’t really fight much, but they were so busy with work and the kids, they had no time for each other. They maybe had sex once a week, if that. Cases were getting to them, not exactly coming between them, just wearing on them in different ways.

 

Izzy sat at iL Buco waiting on her husband for their one date night they had been able to squeeze in after the first of the year. They had barely been able to celebrate their 11-year/18-year anniversary in December due to case upon case. She text him and called him, to no avail. She even called his office but Carmen was gone so those calls went unanswered as well. She had a few drinks but never ordered dinner. After over an hour, she paid for her drinks and headed home. Jessica already had the kids in bed but her husband was nowhere to be found. She called one more time before getting in bed.

“Shit, have we really been here for two hours?”

“What’s wrong, Barba?” Liv asked as he frantically pulled money out to pay his tab at Forlini’s.

“I was supposed to meet Izzy for dinner. I am so dead.”

“She might still be there.”

“I hope so. This was the one night we could squeeze in. I’ve gotta go, Liv.”

“Yeah, sure.”

 

He got to the restaurant only to be told his wife had left. He started the walk home, knowing he was going to face his wife’s wrath when he got home. There was a florist not far from their building that was still open thankfully so he picked up a dozen pink carnations, hoping that would keep him out of too much trouble. He walked in to their apartment to find his pajamas, pillow, and a blanket on the couch. He took a deep breath before walking into their bedroom.

“Mi amor?”

“Hmm?”

“I am so…”

“Save it, Rafael. You said you would have one drink and then be there.”

“You have no idea how sorry I am. I lost track of time.”

“I just can’t right now.”

“Can’t what?”

“Talk to you. You keep choosing your friend over me and your kids even.”

“She’s your friend, too.”

“If that’s true then why is always calling my husband when she needs to talk? Why not me or Amanda or Nick even? Why does it always have to be you?”

“I don’t know. I know I’m sleeping on the couch and I deserve that.”

“Why didn’t you answer any of texts or calls?”

“My phone was in my jacket pocket that was on the back of my chair. I didn’t realize it was still on vibrate.”

“I have never blown you off for Nick, so think about that.”

“I know. I love you.”

She didn’t say anything as he walked back out of the room and closed the door.

 

The next few days at work and at home were tense to say the least. Izzy wouldn’t even talk to Nick about what was bothering her. She would barely acknowledge Liv. 

Erin had called about a case the Chicago Intelligence Unit had come across which began in New York, with a serial rapist and murdered who cut the ears off his victims. Liv was quick to send Izzy and Nick to Chicago.

“How long are you going to be gone?”

“I don’t know, Rafael. Don’t worry. Benson will still be here.”

“Cariño. Stop,” he said as he tried to take her hand while she packed. She quickly took it away.

“I gotta meet Nick at the airport.”

“Let me know when you land please.”

“Okay.”

 

“Izzy!”

“Antonio!” Izzy exclaimed as she saw her best friend from her school days. It had been years since they had seen each other so a hug was definitely in order. 

“Damn it’s good to see you.”

“Antonio Dawson, this is my partner Nick Amaro.”

“Izzy.”

“Hey, Hank.”

“It’s good to see you, kid,” he said as they hugged. “How are the kids?”

“They’re good. How are you doing? I was so sorry to hear about Cindy.”

“I’m making it. Thank you for the flowers. She always thought the world of you.”

Voight introduced Izzy and Nick to Alvin Olinsky, Adam Ruzek, and Kevin Atwater. 

“There she is!!” Erin said as she ran up and hugged her best friend.

“Erin you just saw me two months ago.”

“But now you’re in my town.”

“Ahem!”

“Oh, Izzy this is Detective Jay Halstead,” Erin said as she introduced Izzy to the tall, handsome detective.

“Izzy I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Most of it’s bullshit, I assure you, Jay.”

“Okay, enough with the reunions. We’ve got work to do,” Hank told them. “How long do we have you guys for?”

“As long as you need us,” Nick responded.

“Hey, how about that Detective Rossetti? She's got, like, ten things going on, all of them good, am I right?” Ruzek said to Dawson and Halstead as they were talking to their tech guy, Sheldon Jin. 

“Yeah. She’s also very married,” Dawson told him.

“How do you know her?”

“We were best friends throughout junior high and high school.”

“You ever…you know?”

“I give your marriage six months,” Dawson laughed. 

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wendy and I we're cool like that. I could go home tonight and could tell her exactly what I just told you.”

“Yeah? You'd tell your fiancé that you worked with a hot detective from New York that kind of blew your mind?” 

“No,” Ruzek said after he thought for a minute.

“Yeah exactly. No. Idiot.”

 

Izzy, Nick, Erin, Dawson, and Halstead went out for drinks to blow off a little steam after their first day working together. Izzy and Dawson caught up for the most part and told stories on each other from their days in Bensonhurst.

“Hello?”

“Hey, babe,” Rafael said when she answered her phone.

“Uh hey.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just having some drinks with Nick, Erin, Detective Jay Halstead, and Dawson.”

“Dawson? As in Antonio Dawson?”

“Yeah? I told you he works with Erin.”

“Where are you staying?”

“Erin’s.”

“Okay. Well, I just wanted to let you know I got the kids to bed.”

“Great. Thanks.”

“I guess I’ll see you when you guys get finished.”

“Yeah pretty much. Sarge said for us to stay until we closed the case.”

“I’ll have the kids call you tomorrow.”

“K, bye.” She couldn’t help but think what was going on in New York. Why did Olivia send her and Nick instead of Amanda and Fin?


	57. Chapter 57

Izzy came home about four days later once the case was closed. 

“You gonna be okay, partner?”

“I’ll be fine, Nick. Thanks for dropping me off.”

“Hey, no problem. Don’t worry so much. Neither Liv nor Barba would do anything to hurt you.”

“Did I ever tell you that Stabler mortgaged his house behind his wife’s back to bail Liv out of jail when she was framed for murder?”

“Um no? Are you serious?”

“Yep.”

“That’s not Barba. You are his world.”

“He’s not even home. Look up there,” she said pointing to their balcony. “No lights are on. Whatever.”

“Maybe he’s asleep.”

“At 8:00? Doubtful. I’ll see you Monday, Amaro.”

She dreaded getting into the elevator to go home to an empty apartment. Maybe she had been too hard on him but then again, date night wasn’t a onetime occurrence. Liv would call him and he’d rush to her side.

She finally unlocked their door to find candles lit and flowers everywhere.

“Hola, mi amor,” Rafael said as he handed her a glass of wine.

“What’s all this?”

“I just wanted to do something nice for you. I know you’ve been upset with me, and within reason. You have to know there is nothing going on between Olivia and me. I love you.”

“Then why did…”

“I lost track of time like I said. She started talking and I didn’t realize we had been sitting there for 2 hours. I hate that you sat at that restaurant by yourself. I know I’ve been spending a lot of time with her but she’s only my friend. I swear. You are the love of my life and I would never do anything to mess up what we have.”

“Things haven’t been great with us…”

“I will do whatever I can to make us, well us again. I miss you. I miss us. I haven’t wanted anyone but you for the last 18 years. These past few months have been hard on everyone. I’m not going to lie. When you told me a few days ago you were out with Dawson, I was so…well…”

“Jealous?”

“Yeah. I thought if I would lose you to anybody, it would be Antonio.”

“Rafa that will never happen. I don’t mind you and Liv being friends. I already said that I can’t say much because of me and Nick. I just…”

“And I talked to her while you were gone.”

“You did?”

“I told her I have a wife and kids. I can’t just be there whenever she needs someone to talk to and she has you, Amanda, Nick, and Fin. I wasn’t mean about it but my family is the most important thing in my life.”

“Rafa…”

“It’s the truth. So, can I come back to our bed?”

“Like you haven’t been in it while I was gone?”

“No. I couldn’t sleep in there without you, mi amor. I did lay out a surprise for you in there though, in hopes that you would forgive me.”

“Well, please show me.”

He took her by her hand and led her to their room. He had laid out a pallet on the floor. A bottle of champagne was chilling next to it, along with a bowl of strawberries.

“Raf…”

She didn’t get to ask any questions as he kissed her. “Would you like to dance, cariño?”

“Um, sure.”

He turned on his phone that was bluetoothed to their Bose stereo in their room. Mariah Carey’s version of Journeys “Open Arms” started playing. “Do you remember this?”

“Should I?” Izzy asked, confused.

“Rita’s 21st birthday party. The week before Thanksgiving 95. That guy uh, Richard Miller wouldn’t leave you alone. I came up and took you to dance and this was the song that was playing. You constantly criticized Mariah for ruining one of your favorite Journey songs. She was no Steve Perry as you kept saying.”

“Well she wasn’t.”

“I know, mi amor. Still, this is the first song we ever danced to.”

“I can’t believe you remember that.”

“Are you kidding? I still remember seeing you walk up to the bookstore that day.”

“Really?”

“Me and Ted saw you and Erin walking up. I said, ‘the blond is mine’,” he laughed.

“I did think you were cute when I first saw you. That was until you spoke.”

“18 years later and you still give me shit. You probably don’t remember what I was wearing.”

“A gray Harvard t-shirt that clung to these muscles and you were reading ‘Slaughterhouse Five’.”

“So, you noticed me noticing you.”

“Oh, don’t start that,” she said with a smile.

“Please believe me when I say I want no one else for the rest of my life.”

“I know.”

“There will be no more missed dinners or dates.”

“Rafa?”

“¿Si, cariño?”

“Make love to me.”

“I thought you’d never ask,” he said as he started in on her neck while he laid her on the pallet he had made. He slowly undressed his wife as she undressed him as well. His touches were feather light as well as the kisses he placed down her body. 

“Rafa…” she moaned as he slowly and lightly kissed her tits and down her stomach. She could feel his tongue making contact with her body which drove her insane. He kept working his way down until his tongue made contact with her clit. Her back arched as her husband’s tongue went at her, lightly for the most part. He knew her body too well so once he knew she was getting close, he stopped.

“Rafa?”

“Come here,” he said as he sat her on his lap. He fed her a strawberry as he sucked on her neck some more. She could feel his rock hard dick poking her ass. She tried to move her hand to it but he wanted her arms around him, not his dick. Another strawberry and some champagne, she wanted him more than anything. “No, cariño. Just sit with me,” he said as he held her in his lap. They stared into each other’s eyes, even though she was practically dripping onto his cock, which drove him wild. He loved feeling her wetness fall onto him. Their heartbeats soon matched each other’s. She tried to move down to start sucking his dick but he brought her face back to his. He fed her another a strawberry, this one dipped in the Dom Perignon he had poured for them. 

After a few hours of edging, Rafael finally pushed his huge cock into his wife. She moaned his name at the feel of him inside of her. He was taking his time. It had been so long since they had been able to just enjoy each other. They both moaned each other’s names in pure pleasure for the hour they made love. “God, you feel so good, cariño. I don’t want anyone but you. Forever.”

“Me, too, Rafa. I’m sorry.”

“Shhh. Just come for me, baby. That’s all I need.”


	58. Chapter 58

“Flowers again? What did he do?”

“Nothing at all, Rollins. We’re just…finding our way back to each other so to speak.”

“That’s good.”

“Rossetti?”

“Yeah, Liv?”

“Can you go to Barba’s office and get the files on the Galloway case?”

“Uh yeah, sure, boss.”

 

“Hey, Carmen.”

“Hey, Izzy. He’s alone so you can go right in,” Barba’s assistant said with a smile.

“Thanks. Hey, handsome,” she said as she walked into her husband’s office. He was sitting behind his desk, feet propped up, looking halfway relaxed as he read a file. “Liv said you have something for me?”

“You’re fucking right I do,” he said with a look she had been seeing a lot more lately. “Lock the door and bring that sexy ass over here.”

“Yes, sir,” she said with a small laugh as she did what he commanded. He stood from his chair and pulled her into him. She didn’t have time to think as his lips crashed into hers. His right hand traveled up her skirt, grabbing her ass. 

“If we didn’t have to be quiet, I’d turn this ass red,” he whispered in a tone so low, it sent chills through her body before he took her earlobe in his mouth. “You have too many clothes on, mi amor.”

She took off the gray blazer she was wearing as he unbuttoned the pink short-sleeved button up. She pushed his suspenders down and undid his tie. Soon they stood behind his desk, she was in her new pink bra and panties and gray heals only. “Spending Papi’s money are we?”

“Just a little bit yesterday.”

“What else did you spend my money on?”

“Just a few things.”

“Get on the desk.” She laid back across as his desk as he sat in his chair. He slowly took her panties off. “I see what else you spent my money on. Another trip to Brazil, hmm?”

“Yes, Papi.”

He gently put one long finger into her before adding a second. “Papi…”

“Shh. If you can’t keep quiet, I will stop and you will go back to work.”

“Sorry,” she whispered.

After he got her primed and ready, he pulled her off his desk with a force that almost caused her to lose her balance. He turned around and bent her over, pushing his cock into her hard and deep. A moan escaped from her again. “Last warning,” he said as his huge hand grabbed her ass. “You can’t stay quiet, you’re back to work, and I will turn this ass red tonight. Now can you be quiet?”

“Yes, Papi.”

“Good.”

 

“What came over you?” She asked as she buttoned her shirt.

“I was sitting here going through my phone and I found some very naughty pictures.”

“The ones I sent you or the ones you took the other night?”

“Both.”

“I see.”

“The more I looked at them, the harder it was for me to concentrate, and I knew you needed these files. Perfect excuse to get you over here.”

“It’s been a minute since we’ve had sex in your office.”

“It really has. We’re getting back to normal though.”

“You call that normal?”

“Our normal.”

“I guess I’ve taken too long. Amaro’s texting me.”

“I’ll see you at home, mi amor.”


	59. Chapter 59

“How was your dinner with Tony?” Izzy asked as Rafael joined her on the couch.

“Same as it always is. Scotch, steak, he had to tell me about the 24 year old he’s sleeping with, and then an hour of him trying to convince me to go into private practice with him,” he said as he rolled his eyes. 

“A 24-year-old, huh? God, I swear my brother will never grow up. You don’t think about trading me in for someone younger, do you?”

“Are you kidding? I’ve got you trained. I don’t have time to be teaching someone how to please me all over again.”

“Rafa!!”

“You know I’m kidding,” he laughed. “I’m the one that should be worried. I’ll be 40 in October.”

“I’ll be 38 three days after you.”

“And still as hot as you were when you were 18.”

“Oh, jeez.”

“What about me? Am I still not as cute as I was when I was 20?”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re even sexier now.”

“Are you looking for trouble, Mrs. Barba?”

“I could be.”

“And I could be just the one to punish you.”

“You need to hold that thought. You have two people you need to tell good-night.”

“I’ll be back, cariño.”

 

“Rollins, Fin, Rossetti, Amaro,” Lt. Declan Murphy called as he slammed down the phone. “Benson's gone.” –

“Lewis took her?” Nick asked. 

“She slipped her detail, commandeered a town car. Any of you know about this?”

“No,” the four of them answered. 

“Do not lie to me.” 

“We didn't know, none of us,” Rollins told him. 

“We'll find her, lieutenant,” Fin assured him. 

“Track her radio, her cell. Put an alert on the town car, she's armed! Rossetti. What's your Sergeant doing?”

“She's going after Lewis. She's gonna end this.”

“That's exactly what he wants.”

William Lewis had escaped from Bellevue’s Prison Ward, leaving a path of destruction in his wake. Murphy had been sent to take control of the squad since Lewis wanted one thing and one thing only: Benson. 

 

“These straws were rigged, I tell ya,” Izzy laughed after Liv made them draw straws since no one would agree on who would go to a conference in DC.

“Hey, I went two years ago. It’s not that bad.”

“So, you say, Fin. When’s Nick coming back from patrol? Maybe he can take my place.”

“Not soon enough, Izz. I requested a new detective weeks ago and as you can see, that request has yet to have been met. Voight said Erin’s going.”

“Yeah she told me. That’s the one good thing about going down there.”

“It’s only 3 days. I’d go myself but I can’t leave Noah.”

“I get it. How’s he doing by the way?”

“Good. He seems happy. I appreciate your help with him.”

“Not a problem.”

“And also, I can’t seem to apologize enough for…”

“Liv it’s been months. We’re good. Have been.”

“I know. You’ve both been good friends to me. I can’t thank either of you enough.”

“You can start by my partner being back when I get home.”

“I’m trying. Believe me.”

Nick had been busted down to patrol at the 116 in Queens after he had beat the hell out of Simon Wilkes. He had a torture chamber built across from an elementary school and talked extensively online about taking a kid in there and doing unspeakable things to him.


	60. Chapter 60

“Be glad you are not home,” Rafael told Izzy when she had called on her second night in DC.

“I know Amanda told me what was going on.”

“Did she tell you about the new detective?”

“Um, no?”

“From what Liv says, I don’t think he’ll be around very long. I think she’s kind of hoping actually.”

“Have you met him?”

“No. Between going to Attica to talk to Tino and everything else, I haven’t had time to really go over there.”

“How are the kids?”

“Missing you, like me.”

“I miss you guys, too. I’ve got two seminars tomorrow that are both maybe an hour, hour and a half long, I’ll take Erin to the airport, and head home myself.”

“I’m guessing you two are staying out of trouble?”

“Of course. What do you take us for? Some kind of heathens?”

“I wasn’t going to say it…”

“You are hilarious, Barba.”

“I can hear your eyes rolling over the phone, you know? Shit, Fin’s calling. I’ll call you back?”

“Sure. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

 

“How was your conference?”

“Boring, Fin. Heard you guys have been having hell.”

“Oh, that’s not the half of it,” a tall, slender guy with a hideous mustache and a very thick Staten Island accent. He just kept talking and talking while Fin and Rollins sat looking very amused while Izzy’s brow furrowed more and more. 

“Who the hell is this guy,” she was able to ask when he stopped talking.

“Dominick Carisi Jr but everybody calls me ‘Sonny’.”

“Otherwise known as your new partner,” Fin laughed.

“Say what? Liv!!”

Before Izzy could speak, Liv held up her hand. “Izz I’m trying to get Nick back but for right now I think Carisi could learn from you. You’ve worked SVU in Brooklyn and here for a long time…”

“So has Fin.”

“None of the other boroughs have given him a chance. Just do this for me please? When Nick comes back, I’ll figure things out from there.”

“Fine.”

“Be patient with him.”

“Hey, I have two kids with Rafael Barba. I exude patience.”

“Do you actually believe that?”

“I’ll work on it.”

“Okay. Now go get to know your partner.”

 

“So, you’re married to the ADA?” Carisi asked as Izzy sat at her desk. 

“11, almost 12 years.”

“I didn’t know you were that old.”

Fin and Amanda both looked up from their computers, just waiting to see what Izzy would do. She reminded herself to be patient.

“And how old do you think I am?”

“I would’ve guessed younger than me.”

“I’ll be 38 in October.”

“I, I, I didn’t mean no offense to you or the Counselor.”

“And before you ask, he will be 40 in October,” she said as she picked up her desk phone. 

“Was that him?”

“God, you’re nosy, Carisi. And no. It was Magnum PI, he wants his mustache back.”

Fin and Amanda both started laughing.


	61. Chapter 61

“Does your partner ever shut up,” Rafael asked his wife as they cooked dinner.

“If he does, I have yet to experience it. Carisi isn’t that bad.”

“I don’t understand why Liv didn’t just put you and Nick back together.”

“She just wanted to change things up I guess.”

“What’s been going on between you and Rollins lately?”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t really hang out with her anymore. Liv said you’ve been kind of short with her lately, too.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Yeah, I don’t believe you.”

“Did you know Nick and her are screwing around?”

“He’s never said anything to me about it. You’re worried she’s gonna fuck him up?”

“He’s barely over Maria and with everything he has already dealt with this year…he doesn’t need anymore bullshit. I like Amanda but she doesn’t make the best decisions when it comes to guys or life in general really. I mean I know she’s working her program to keep her from gambling. And see, she has treated Nick like shit in the past when he was looking out for her. Maybe he didn’t do it the right way but she could’ve been a little more grateful.”

“I know you’re sort of protective over Nick. Why don’t you just talk to Rollins?”

“What am I going to say?”

“That you and Nick have been friends forever and you don’t want to see him get hurt again. I mean it’s pretty simple. Oh my god, what are those two fighting about now?” He said as he rolled his eyes, hearing the kids fighting. “Did you and Tony fight like that?”

“Physically, verbally.” 

“It’s my turn, too, isn’t it?”

“Considering you haven’t been home during the last few fights, I’m going to say yeah.”

“I’m going. Okay! That’s enough!”

“But Papi, Jackson took my…”

“No, I didn’t!”

“Stop, stop, stop! One at a time. What did or do you think your brother took, Emersyn?”

“He hid my charger and now my iPad is about to die.”

“Jackson tell me the truth.”

“I promise, Papi. I didn’t. I don’t go in her room. It smells like a girl.”

“Well then where is it?”

“I don’t know, Emersyn.”

“Stop arguing. Where did you last use your iPad, mija?”

“My room.”

“Then that’s where it should be. Let’s go see if we can find it, after you apologize to your brother.”

 

“Cannoli?”

“Carisi you’re gonna make me fat.”

“Please that’s just more of you for Barba to love.”

“Shut up, jackass.”

“Izz you got a minute?”

“Uh, sure Amanda. Here, don’t make me eat alone,” she said handing Rollins one of the very sweet snacks Carisi had brought. “What’s going on?”

“Are you mad at me or something?”

“No.”

“I mean if I did something to make you mad, I’m sorry. I know it took me a while to pay you back…”

“Rollins you didn’t do anything to make me mad. I told you I didn’t care about the money. I’m worried.”

“I’m staying on track and working my program.”

“I’m worried about Nick.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, it’s none of my business but I’ve known him for 10 years. He’s like a brother to me.”

“No, I get it. I don’t know what’s going on. We’re just taking it one day at a time and not even every day.”

“Just tread lightly with him. After Maria…”

“I know. We’re just hanging out, having fun.”

“Don’t let him distract you from your recovery either.”

“He’s just as hard on me as you are,” Rollins chuckled. “So, we’re good?”

“Yeah. Sorry if I’ve had an attitude lately. Having a daughter right on the edge of becoming a ‘tween’ or whatever is taking its toll.”

“Attitude starting up?”

“So bad. She got smart with her dad the other night now her iPad is locked in his safe.”

“I’m sure that killed Daddy’s little princess.”

“Oh, you would have thought the dog died the way she acted. She has him wrapped around her finger, always has. I made him punish her the other day cause I’m tired of always being the bad guy.”

“I can’t say I blame you. I swear I’m never having kids.”


	62. Chapter 62

Rafael woke up to find himself alone in bed. Izzy was obviously already out of bed. He rubbed his eyes, remembering he got up around 2am to take his contacts out after he just couldn’t stand them anymore. He noticed his glasses on his nightstand and put them on. He wasn’t exactly “blind” but he had worn glasses since he was a kid. He noticed his phone and a pink notecard from his wife’s stationary box she kept. Izzy had an obsession with pretty stationary, in so many words, since she was a kid. He smiled as he read her note.

“Happy Birthday, handsome!! If you’re reading this, then you’re finally awake. You’ll find the remote next to your phone. The DVR has several episodes of ‘Dr. Who’ you have missed over the weeks and I thought this was the perfect day for you to catch up. I’m going to let the most amazing husband and father stay in bed today. The kids will be going to my parents after school so, it’s just you and me today. You don’t have to lift a finger, other than to text me and let me know when you’re ready for breakfast and your coffee. I’ll be waiting. I love you, so much.”

He kind of laughed to himself that his wife was just going to let him be lazy for his 40th birthday. He had been having a little trouble with this milestone and this fact he was noticing a gray hair here and there. Izzy always assured him he still looked as good, if not better than that first day she saw him in the Harvard bookstore. He knew what she said but he wanted to see her before she brought his breakfast. “Good morning, mi amor.”

“What are you doing out of bed?”

“I wanted to see you.”

“Look at you, so hot in those glasses. What would you like for breakfast? Mami’s blueberry pancakes or my blueberry waffles? An omelet?”

“Could I have an omelet and maybe two pancakes?”

“You got it, babe. Here’s your coffee. Go back to bed, start your show, and I’ll bring you your breakfast.”

“Okay. You know you’re raising the bar a little too high.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your birthday is in 3 days. How am I going to top this?”

“Rafa this has never been a competition. You have never disappointed me on my birthday or Christmas or an anniversary. Now, scoot,” she laughed as she slapped his ass with her spatula. 

“Yes ma’am,” he said with a smile as he picked up his coffee mug and kissed her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Happy Birthday.”

 

Rafael was quite enjoying his day of being catered to by his wife. Not that Izzy wasn’t wonderful to him, even after almost 19 years, it was just nice to have someone that loved him just as much he loved them. He had thought a couple of times how different his life might’ve been had he ended up with Yelina. He never saw himself being near as happy with her has he had been with Izzy all those years. They weren’t just lovers, husband and wife, parents to Emersyn & Jackson, they were also best friends. To him, she was the best friend he ever had in his life and she felt the same way about him.

“Is there anything you need, babe?”

“Actually, yeah,” he said after he thought for a minute.

“And what would that be?”

“You.”

“Is that right? And what do you want?”

“I want you to sit on my face.”

She shouldn’t have been taken aback by her husband’s request. They weren’t exactly “tame” in bed. Never had been really. Until they got together, the sex they had with others was generic at best. Over the almost 19 years they had been together, they explored several avenues when it came to sex. They would restrain each other, use toys, engage in public sex; the library at Harvard was one of their favorite places in college actually. She was just a little shocked that he wanted to do something to her first, especially on HIS birthday. He laid completely down in their bed as she complied to his request. He kissed her inner thighs first, slowly with a few small bites in between. Then he grabbed her ass and pulled her to him, his tongue immediately tracing up her clit. Her head went back and his mouth went at her. He’d lick and suck her clit with his hands firmly planted on her ass, driving her insane. She shuddered, locked her knees against his head as she came all over his tongue and face. “Are you okay, cariño?” He asked with his green eyes looking up at her.

“I’m wonderful,” she said as she caught her breath.

“You taste so sweet, mi amor. Now you know what I else I want?”

“What’s that?”

“I want you to take control.”

“Really?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely,” he said as he licked his lips, a lustful look coming from his eyes.

“Get undressed…completely,” she instructed to which he more than willingly did. 

She took her tank top and bra off and grabbed her cuffs. “Sit up.” He did as she said and she basically placed him “under arrest” before pushing him back down onto the bed. Within seconds, that huge dick of his was in her mouth, causing him to moan wildly. His arms were behind his back and there was nothing he could do. The further down she went, the more his hips bucked, and his back arched. He called her by her actual name as he tried not to unload too soon. “I’m not as young as I used to be,” he managed to get out.

“You’re perfect, Rafael,” she told him before going back at him. He didn’t see that she had grabbed the lube from his nightstand. She made sure both of them were wet enough before sliding a finger in his ass while she continued blowing him. He absolutely loved that. Most men would feel it meant they were gay or bisexual even but not Rafael Barba. He was more than comfortable in his sexuality to admit what he liked in bed. Granted his wife was the only one he ever allowed to do that him but that was more of an intimacy thing really. Once she had him open enough, she slipped another well lubed finger into him. 

“I’m gonna come, Elizabeth,” he moaned as her fingers moved inside of him while her mouth worked on his dick. It wasn’t long before his hot release shot in the back of her throat with a force that surprised her. “Goddamn you’re amazing,” he told her once she made sure he was finished. “You know it’s going to be a little bit before I can go again?”

“Since when?”

“I am 40 today.”

“Still seem 21 to me.”


	63. Chapter 63

“Oh my god, Erin?! What are you doing here?!”

“Your husband flew me in for your birthday.”

“Raf?!”

“Come on, it’s been months since you’ve seen each other and you were working. Now you two have an appointment at your favorite spa, mi amor.”

“When?”

“30 minutes. Go! Mami is taking the kids for the weekend. I have to beat you after my birthday,” he joked.

“Good luck,” she said with a smile as she and Erin left. 

 

“I can’t believe you still have this,” Izzy laughed as Erin handed her a CD they had made for their trips from Cambridge to New York. 

Rafael, Izzy, and Erin sat and reminisced about their college days as they drank scotch.

“Okay, okay. So, I’ve always wondered something,” Rafael said after many glasses of scotch later.

“What’s that, babe?”

“Did you two…ever…you know…hook up in college?”

“Rafa!”

“I’m just asking. I’m not going to be mad.”

“We kissed at that one party. It was before you and Izzy got together though.”

“Really? I’ve always wondered what it be like to watch my woman kiss another woman.”

“Is that right? Well, Erin?”

“It’s not like it would be the first time.”

Rafael watched intently as his wife and her best friend went from kissing to a full on make-out. He was growing harder every second as he saw his wife on top of her best friend. Izzy finally pulled herself away from Erin.

“Are you sure you want to stop,” Erin asked.

“Actually, I don’t. You?”

“Nope.”

“Maybe we should move to your bedroom,” Erin giggled as they got up.

“Babe are you going to join us?” Izzy asked before they left the den.

“Only if you want,” Rafael growled.

“Come on,” Izzy said as she motioned for him with her finger.

 

Izzy and Erin laid in the bed as they continued making out and undressing each other. Rafael couldn’t believe what he was watching as he sat in the chair where he would normally lay his suits. He could’ve came as he watched his wife and her best friend’s naked bodies roll around on the bed her shared with his wife. It was as if there were no reason to lay any ground rules. Erin knew Raf was off limits and vice-versa. It didn’t matter, Rafael never wanted touch anyone but his wife. He sat in the chair rubbing himself through his pants while he bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.

“Rafa?”

“Si, mi amor?”

“Clothes off.”

He quickly undressed as his wife motioned for him to come over her while Erin kissed and worked her way down Izzy’s body. She took her husband’s huge Cuban cock in her mouth while her best friend started eating her out. Erin put a finger then two into her best friend. It was the whole “taboo” of it all that drove them all inside.

“It’s time for me to fuck my wife,” Rafael growled after watching Erin drive Izzy to not one but two orgasms. 

“Hang on, Rafa. Erin get up here,” Izzy instructed as she moved to stand up against their bed.

Rafael loved to take his wife from behind but this was a whole new thing. He waited as Izzy started in on Erin. He took a finger in his mouth before sticking it into his wife. She didn’t break away from Erin even though Rafael was practically begging for her attention, albeit not verbally. He finally pushed his cock deep inside his wife. Izzy went at Erin while Rafael fucked her from behind. Erin came all over her best friends face, driving Rafael practically mad as he thrusted harder into his wife while rubbing her clit. Once he got his wife off, he finally came himself.

“And what is wrong with 40?” Izzy asked while Rafael held her in his arms, his dick still inside of her as they came down from their high.

“Not a fucking thing,” he whispered.


	64. Chapter 64

“No, no, Maria. No, you can't. You can't pull that crap,” Nick yelled into his phone. “No, you had Zara all summer long. Right, I flew out there. You're supposed to fly her out here for Thanksgiving. Yeah, my mother's expecting us. My sister's flying up from Miami. No, look, this isn't up for discussion, all right? No well, yeah, who's yelling? I'm not yelling. No, you don't hang Don't hang up on me. Maria? Damn it.” He hung up his phone and punched the lockers, gaining even more attention in the squad than he already had.

“Whoa! Hey, you all right? What's going on?” Amanda asked him. 

“Nothing.” 

“Okay, take a breath.” 

“How about you don't tell me what to do, Rollins? Don’t say it,” he snarled as he walked by Izzy.

“Wasn’t going to. Fin what are you looking at?”

“Some geek hacked celebrity nude selfies from the cloud and posted them Redchanit.”

“And that's SVU because…” 

“Some of the celebs in the pics are underage. That makes it child porn.”

“Okay, wrap it up, Fin, before Dodds or Liv catches you.”

“How she gonna leave you in charge while she’s in a meeting with Noah’s social worker and not me?”

“You wouldn’t answer your phone.”

“That’s because I’m smart. Whoa.”

“What is it?”

“Check this out. AJ Martin and his woman Paula Bryant.”

“Izzy I leave you in charge for a few hours and this becomes the celebrity nude task force,” Liv laughed.

“Might be something more, Sarge.”

There was a chunk of footage missing from the video. All they saw was Paula and AJ in the stairwell, he slapped her on the ass then all of a sudden, he’s dragging her body to their SUV. “Okay, let’s find that missing footage. Nick, Amanda…”

“Why don’t I go with Amaro,” Fin offered.

“Uh okay. Izzy and Amanda go to the local precinct and see what they can tell you.”

 

“No, I'm saying that your A.D.A. shouldn't have taken the arresting officer's word.”

“I take yours and Liv’s word all the time,” Rafael told his wife. “Anyway, this is moot. The deal was offered. The lawyer said no. Case is still open. You guys find that missing footage and I’ll go from there. Good enough?”

“Works for me,” Fin said as he got up to leave.

“Izzy can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Uh sure. I’ll catch up, Fin.”

“You okay?” Rafael asked as he shut the door.

“Yeah, why?”

“You’ve been acting strange since your birthday. Are you regretting what happened?”

“No. I mean…I don’t know.”

“Talk to me, cariño.”

“Well, it’s just Erin doesn’t have stretch marks like I do…”

“Yes, your body is riddled with them,” he said as he rolled his eyes.

“Rafa.”

“There is nothing wrong with your body. The few stretch marks you do have, you earned from carrying my children. There is nothing more beautiful than that. Furthermore, my eyes stayed on you from what I remember. We were drunk, so I don’t see that happening again, with anyone. We’ve talked about doing something like that off and on for years, it’s done, it’s over. Nothing has changed between us. Has it?”

“No.”

“Okay,” he said as he closed the space between them to kiss his wife. “Now, go find me that missing footage if your boss wants me to move forward with this case.”

 

One night after court, Nick and Izzy went to the gym to blow off some steam. Nick needed it, especially after Calhoun went after Nick while cross-examining Benson.

“I mean where does she got off?”

“You know how she is, Nick. Don’t get me wrong, I think it was bullshit myself. You didn’t go to anger management for hitting Maria.”

“Fuck Calhoun. AJ knocked his wife out, point blank. Amanda keeps saying we went too far with this.”

“She’s got a blind spot when it comes to powerful men.”

“You’re right about that. Speaking of, I’m supposed to meet her for drinks. You want to come?”

“Uh, I can have a drink or two. Sure.”

 

“Wait, so we get to decide what's best for her? That's infantilizing. That's us making her a victim all over again,” Amanda slurred as they sat discussing the case. 

“All right, just take it easy,” Nick told her. 

“You counting my drinks now? Saint Nick? Right? Savior of damaged women?” 

“Amanda stop. Leave him alone.”

“All I'm saying is, no man has a right to hit a woman.” 

“That's right. But some of us don't need to be saved. Okay, like, you married a woman who didn't, right? Maria? Ha ha. I saw the way she went after you in the squad. We all did, didn’t we, Izzy?”

“Amanda that’s enough. You’re drunk.”

“I never laid a hand on Maria.”

“Yeah, but you never wanted to? Not at all? She got to you. She still gets to you. Right. Huh, that doesn't get to you?” Amanda asked as she nudged Nick’s shoulder. 

“Are you jealous of Maria now? Is that what's happening here?” 

“Really? That's where you're going? We've just all seen you. We've all seen you lose it. The whole squad room heard you yelling at your wife on the phone,” she said as she kept pushing Nick. Izzy finally got between the two of them while Nick threw his drink. 

“You know what? I'm gonna do what A.J. Martin should have done. Walk away.”

“You couldn’t stop could you, Amanda?”

“Not all women want to be a victim. You, Liv, Nick, and your husband turned Paula Martin into one.”

“You need to go home and sleep this off,” Izzy said as she picked up Amanda’s drink and finished it herself before leaving like Nick did.

 

“You made a judgment call?” Rafael asked AJ when he was on the stand. “To punch a woman in the face, to drag her unconscious body across a garage, and attempt to get out of there before anyone could find out?” 

“How dare you I love my wife.” 

“I have no doubt that you do.” Rita kept trying to object but the judge wasn’t having it for the moment. “Did you love her here, when you were manhandling her? How about here, when your fist connected with her face? Or did you really love her here, when you were dragging her limp body like a bag of garbage with no evident concern?” Rafael kept showing parts of the video to AJ and the entire court. 

“All right, Mr. Barba, time to move along,” the judge finally let Rita object. 

“He opened the door, your honor. I love my wife too, but I’ve never laid a hand on her. So, if this is how Mr. Martin shows he loves his wife, then I'm done.”

AJ was found guilty of Reckless Endangerment.

“Do you need any help,” Rafael asked as he put his arms around his wife’s waist from behind while she cooked dinner.

“No, I’m fine,” she said with a smile. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah. Justice was served, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. I know DV cases can be hard on you sometimes.”

“I’m okay, really. So, Amanda still thinking this was an overreach?”

“She thought he learned his lesson.”

“Men like that don’t learn lessons. If he would’ve been acquitted or charges were never brought, he’d do it again. My dad didn’t learn his lesson, in fact I think the one time he went to jail, it made him worse so Mami never called the cops again.”

“Papi?”

“Si, Jackson?”

“¿Me ayudarás con mi tarea, por favor? (Will you help me with my homework?)”

“Estaré ahí en un minuto (I’ll be there in just a minute). My work is never done,” he said with a grin as he grabbed his drink and kissed his wife on the cheek.


	65. Chapter 65

“Okay, Carmen. No, it’s fine. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Izzy said as she hung her phone up and put it in her pocket.

“Everything okay, partner?”

“Yeah, Carisi. I gotta go talk to Liv.”

“Something with the case?”

“Nah, something else.”

“Izzy…”

“You’re not busy are you, Liv?”

“Not at all. Just sorting through overtime. What’s up?”

“I need to go. My husband is apparently terrorizing his office.”

“And how’s today any different from the others,” Benson laughed. 

“Right? It’s bad enough Carmen had to call me. He’s been fighting a cold and won’t listen to me.”

“You’ve got plenty of personal time. Take as long as you need.”

“Thanks.”

 

“Where is he, Carmen?”

“Barricaded in his office. He’s made three interns cry another Junior ADA is hiding from him. It’s been awful. McCoy tried to talk him into going home, so did Cutter. They refuse to argue with him.”

“Enter the wife,” Izzy said as she turned the knob to find it locked. “Rafael. It’s just me.”

His door quickly flew open. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here? You look and sound terrible. I told you to stay home today.”

“Who called you?”

“Carmen.”

“Yeah well she’s fired.”

Izzy turned back to see Carmen rolling her eyes and laughing as she sat back at her desk. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’ve got files to go over. You and your partner brought me a case a few days ago, remember?”

“No, no. You’re going to get your jacket, your coat, you scarf, and get your ass home with me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“There’s somebody here that can take this case,” she said as she grabbed the stack of files, including the one his hand. “Let go.”

“No,” he said as he tugged back on them.”

“Rafael don’t make me hurt you,” she said tugging back, harder. They basically played of tug of war with the file, both growing more frustrated with the other’s unwillingness to let go.

“Fine! Fuck it. Take them,” he finally said.

“Get your stuff and I’ll be back.”

Izzy walked to O’Dwyer’s office.

“Detective, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You have anything on your plate right now?”

“Nothing that can’t wait.”

“Good. I’ve got a case for you,” she said handing him the files.

“I thought Barba was handling this?”

“Not anymore. He’s going home.”

“Yeah, heard he’s being a little more snarky than usual.”

“Something like that. Thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem. I’m sure I owe him anyways.”

She got back to her husband’s office to find him with his head on his desk.

“Raf…”

“Huh?” He asked without moving.

“You ready to come home with me?”

“Yeah,” he sort of whined.

 

She got him in his pajamas and into bed before heading back out in the cold December air to get some medicine and other things for him. 

“Here, I got you some soup and some cough & cold medicine…”

“I don’t want it.”

“What?”

“That shit is nasty. I don’t want it. I’m not sick.”

She was trying so hard not laugh at the 40-year-old man acting like their 8-year-old son.

“You have to take it or you’re going to the doctor. That’s final.”

“Oh, you gonna call Nick or Carisi to remove me from my home and take me?”

“l’ll call your mother.”

“Go ahead. I don’t care. I’m not sick anyways.”

“Ugh, fine. Eat your soup.”

“You’re not going to stay in here with me?”

“I’m gonna go make you some tea,” she said as she kissed his forehead, which was burning up.

 

“How’s he feeling?”

“He’s asleep right now, LIv. I might’ve spiked his echinacea tea with cough medicine.”

“Did you really?”

“He can’t really taste anything at the moment. I learned that trick from his mother when I was sophomore in college and he got sick.”

“That’s funny. A grown man won’t take liquid cough and cold medicine so it has to be snuck to him like a child.”

“He’s worse than the kids, I’m telling you.”

“Just another reason I am in no hurry to get married. Get him feeling better…soon. I need both of you back as soon as possible.”

“It’s only been half a day.”

“But you know how O’Dwyer is,” she laughed. “Call if you need anything.”

“Babe!!”

“Ugh, he’s up. Okay, thanks, Liv.”

She walked into their bedroom to find her husband sprawled out across it.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sick.”

“You’re finally admitting it?”

“Yeah. You win.”

“Get back on your pillow. You need some more Tylenol it feels like. Maybe a cool rag for your head?”

“Yeah. Can you lay with me for a little bit, too?”

“Yeah, until the kids get home I will.”

“Thanks.”


	66. Chapter 66

“Barba you’re not going to hurt him. Is that how you held your kids,” Liv laughed while he held Noah very uncomfortably.

“My kids were different. I don’t know how to hold the other people’s kids.”

After busting a brothel full of underage trafficked girls on Super Bowl Sunday 2015, Olivia found that the father of Noah was Johnny Drake, a big-time trafficker. He had probably bought and sold every girl that had been trafficked in New York over the last 20-years. She was worried about putting his name on Noah’s birth certificate as she was starting the adoption paperwork. On top of that, Lina had fell in her apartment one afternoon causing a very small fracture.

“Hey, sarge,” Carisi said leading a dark-haired and a blond-haired woman into her office where she and Izzy were talking about the Johnny D thing, “there's two women here who will only speak to someone in charge.”

“Sure. Hi, how can I help you?”

“We want to report a sex crime a rape,” one of them spoke. 

“Oh, I'm so sorry. Why don't you have a seat? Which one of you…”

“It wasn't one of us. It was our father, Walter Briggs.” 

“The novelist? I'm a huge admirer. I've read every one of his books ever since…”

“Easy, fanboy,” Izzy told her partner. 

After Judith and Delilah Briggs left, they started discussing if it was rape or not. Carisi just kept going on and on about how Walter Briggs was this literary genius. Nick pointed out that he also through his wife through a plate glass window.

“We've got an allegation, we have corroborations, so you two go speak with the happy couple,” Liv told Carisi and Izzy. “And as a detective, not a fan, Carisi.”

 

“I still can’t believe that hospital released Abuelita.”

“Is she going to be okay, Papi?”

“Yeah, Emmie. I’m gonna go by and see her with Abuela tomorrow.”

“Can we go?”

“Maybe this weekend we can all go over there, Jack. Now help your sister clear the table while I talk to Mami. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“So, I was thinking, I haven’t brought this up to Mami, but maybe it’s time to get Abuelita out of that death trap. She’s lived there since I was born. Those 6 flights of stairs are too much for her.”

“Where would you want to put her?”

“There’s decent facilities all around the city. I’m sure we could find one. I’ll go over tomorrow.”

 

“Mami, I just don't understand why she doesn't go to rehab.”

“Cause she doesn't want to go to rehab. The doctors have all argued with her. They are done. Do you want to argue with her?” Lucia asked her only child as they walked up to Lina’s apartment. 

“Yeah, I do. Let me carry one of those bags.” 

“Wait, wait there's eggs in that one.” 

“Don't worry, I think I can handle it. So, is this the plan? Huh? You're gonna work for 12-hours a day and then come here and do her pills, bring her groceries.”

“I'm her daughter. And the stairs are hard for her.” 

“Yeah, that's why she should live in an elevator building.”

“I don't mind, and she loves it here.” 

“You can have the groceries delivered like we do.”

“This is the Bronx, darling. This is not Park Avenue, remember?” 

“How could I forget?” 

“Mama? It's me.” 

“Ah. I see you brought El Juez.” 

“Abuelita, I'm not a judge.” 

“You will be. Where are my great-grandchildren?”

“They’re at home.”

“I haven’t seen them in weeks.”

“I know. We’ve been…”

“Busy. I know. You two are always working so hard. So, what brings you by?”

 

“Rectal probe electroejaculation? That sounds like a sex crime in and of itself,” Rafael said with a very pained look on his face as he looked over Walter Briggs’ autopsy report. “The hospital allowed this?”

“The wife had the right, as you pointed out, babe.” 

“Come on, counselor. You know what we're looking at here. She tormented this guy, all right? The blue pills, the flight from the hospital?”

“It pains me to say this, but you're right, Carisi. She killed him.”

“Did you just…did he just say I’m right?”

“Don’t get used to it, Carisi. You’ve had one good point since you’ve been here and that was it. Save the rest for night school. Now, I need to speak to my wife…uh, alone?”

“Sorry.”

“I’ll catch up, Carisi. You need to stop being so hard on him, Rafa.”

“He just brings it out of me. Are you going to go check out that facility with Mami?”

“Yeah. I told her I’d go with her.”

“Don’t look at me like that, mi amor. You know this is the right thing to do.”

“It doesn’t matter what I think.”

“Why doesn’t it? You’ve been a part of her family for almost 20 years. Are you seriously going to tell me this isn't the safest option?”

“No, you’re right.”

“I want her safe and taken care of. That’s all.”

“I know. You’re a good grandson.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“You don’t?”

“When was the last time we took the kids to see her or had over to our place for dinner?”

 

“Izzy can you not talk some sense into your husband?”

“Abuelita you know how he is,” she said as she helped Lina pack some stuff.

“Just like his Mama. What am I going to do with all my things? I can’t take it all with me.”

“I think Lucia is going to store it.”

“Before she does that, there’s something I want you to have.”

“What is this?”

“These are my engagement, wedding, and the ring my Eduardo bought me for our 25th anniversary.”

“I can’t take these. I still have the necklace Rafael gave me all those years ago.”

“And that’s why I want you to have these. You two have always reminded me of my husband and I. He’s the one that taught my Raf what it meant to be a good husband and father. I know he can be stubborn and infuriating at times. Promise me you’ll never give up on him.”

“I haven’t yet.”

 

“Hey,” Izzy said as her husband walked in their room on a snowy Sunday evening. Lucia had called him in a panic and he got to the Bronx as soon as he could. 

“Coroner said from what he could tell, she went in her sleep.”

“At least it was peaceful.”

“I know. She wasn’t going to let me force her out of her home. That’s where she wanted to die and she did. If I hadn’t…I kept pushing….” He started before he broke down in tears.

“Okay, okay. Shh. I got you.” She just held him while he cried. 

“I’m, uh, gonna go talk to the kids.”

“You want me to come with you?”

“No. I’ll be fine. I think I need to do this by myself.”

“I understand.”


	67. Chapter 67

“Here’s the files on Carisi’s soon to be brother-in-law’s case.”

“Thanks, cariño.”

They had taken a week off and the first case they dealt with was Bella Carisi’s fiancé being forced to have sex with his female probation officer at gun point. 

She went behind his chair and started rubbing his shoulders. He seemed like he was carrying the weight of the world on them since his Abuelita passed. No matter how much his mother told him it wasn’t his fault, he still wasn’t convinced. He started to loosen up a little the longer Izzy went at him. He finally set his gold pen down, laid back in his chair, and took her hand. He just sat there holding it. His grip kept getting tighter and tighter as she could hear him sniffle. 

“Raf? Shh.”

“I’m sorry.”

She sat in his lap and stroked the back of his neck.

“I mean she complained that she hadn’t seen the kids in a long time because we were always so busy and I insisted we come back to work….”

“I know.”

He lifted his head up to bring her lips to his. He hadn’t kissed her like that since Lina died. He needed it as much as she did. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, Rafa.”

“Let’s have another baby.”

“What?”

“I’ve been thinking…I mean why not?”

“Jack just turned 8, Emersyn is about to be 10. I mean…”

“Just think about it. That’s all I’m asking.”

“Okay.”

 

“You okay, partner?”

“Huh, yeah, Carisi. Why?”

“We’ve been sitting here, watching this house for over an hour, and you’ve been quiet the whole time.”

“Just got some stuff on my mind.”

“Anything you want to talk to about?”

“Not at the moment. Thanks anyways.”

“We’ve been partners all this time and all I know about you is you’re from Bensonhurst, went to Harvard where you met Barba, then to Harvard Law, joined the police academy in 2003, you have two kids, you and Barba have been together almost 20 years, married almost 13 years.”

“What else is there to know?”

“Nothing I guess.”

“Okay, Carisi. Barba wants to have another baby.”

“Really? That would be awesome.”

“Yeah but the thing is, he had a vasectomy in 2006.”

“So? He can get that reversed and there’s usually a decent success rate after a reversal.”

“Thank you, Dr. Carisi. Thinking of taking up medicine after you pass the bar?”

“I was just letting you know.”

 

“Any thought to what we discussed a few days ago?”

“Rafa you realize that you only bring up having another baby when something hits you hard?”

“No, I don’t.”

“You brought it up after the William Lewis’s first case, the Mechad Carter case, after everything with Alex, Evie Barnes, and now after Abuelita? I mean, if you think having a baby is going to take away from anything bad you’re feeling…”

“Would I be willing to have my vasectomy reversed, knowing I’ll have to have it done again?”

“Rafa…”

“You know, I didn’t want the fucking thing to begin with.”

“What? We talked about it when I was pregnant with Emmie.”

“No, you talked about it. I just finally gave in because I knew you’d keep on until you got your fucking way just like always. Your dad fucked you up.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’ve always been spoiled and I just made it worse,” he said as he threw the dish towel on the counter and walked out of the kitchen.

 

Izzy was kind of dumbfounded by her husband’s words. She finished cleaning up the kitchen before making sure the kids were ready for bed.

Rafael must’ve been in his home office so Izzy went and got in the shower.

The water was falling on her, music was playing so she didn’t hear Rafael open the shower door. He placed his hand on her shoulder, startling her in the process.

“Sorry.”

They both just kind of stared at each other as the steam rose around them.

“I’m sorry about what happened in the kitchen. I didn’t mean a word of it. I know I’m still having some misplaced anger from Abuelita’s death. I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while. I mean we’re still young enough for one more.”

“And you’d really be willing to go under the knife two more times?”

“Absolutely. So, what do you think?” 

She didn’t know what to say. She searched her mind for all the reasons to say no but she couldn’t find one really. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Let’s have another baby.”


	68. Chapter 68

“I can’t believe the counselor’s already back to work after having…ya know.”

“It’s a minor procedure, Carisi. It’s not like brain surgery.”

“Well…”, Amanda started.

“Not major brain surgery then,” Izzy chuckled.

“How long will it before you guys can start trying to get pregnant?”

“Don’t you know this already, Dr. Carisi?”

“What did I miss?” Fin asked. “I thought you were in law school.”

“It’s an inside joke, Fin.”

“We have an inside joke, partner?”

“Oh my god, Carisi. How long have you been here? Stop being so damn needy.”

“Alright, alright.”

“And it could take 6 months, if not longer. Sometimes it could be sooner. It did take us 10 months to get pregnant with Emersyn and we were 28 and 30 though.”

“Did you guys have to do anything special?”

“No. I had a miscarriage when she was 6 months old and then got pregnant with Jackson two months later.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“Nothing. I just didn’t know all that about you.”

“Don’t get used to it, Carisi. Momentary lapse in judgement.”

“Sure. No problem,” he laughed. Izzy didn’t want to admit it but Carisi had grown on her during their partnership.

 

“I can’t believe you’re gonna have another baby.”

“Ma I’m not pregnant yet.”

“I know but I’m surprised you two have decided to have another one.”

“Well Tony isn’t going to give you grandkids anytime soon.”

“Does Rafael talk to him?”

“They get together once every other week still. Why?”

“Maybe he could talk him into settling down. Tell him the benefits of having a family…”

“He’s tried. It doesn’t do any good. He says he’s got the perfect life.”

“I swear. He might have some kids running around for all he knows,” Stella said rolling her eyes. “How’s Erin doing, by the way?”

“Uh, good. She’s dating a detective in the unit she works in, Jay Halstead.”

“What’s he like?”

“I’ve only met him a couple of times. He seems nice. He’s a couple of years younger than her but they seem to get along.”

“Too bad she and Tony couldn’t have worked things out.”

“You knew…”

“Just like I knew about you and Rafael that Thanksgiving.”

“We weren’t together then.”

“Yeah but how long was it until you were?”

“About 3 weeks, little over.”

“And how long will you two be together in December?”

“Yeah, I know,” Izzy said with a smile.

 

“Okay, guys, cross-match any details from the Chicago case with ours, and I'm gonna need all of our files electronically scanned and sent, like, yesterday,” Liv told Izzy, Nick, and Fin through skype since she had went to Chicago to help Intelligence with a case that shared too many details with one she had 10 years earlier. 

“We're on it,” Izzy told her.

“Why don't you 3 bring them out yourself? We could use all the help we can get,” Hank told him. 

“We're happy to do it,” Nick replied. 

“Okay, guys, then get on the next flight. Bring the files. Have Rollins and Carisi reopen the investigation, okay, from there.”

“Got it.”

“Thanks, Fin. See you guys soon.”

“Be careful in Chicago. You don’t know what you might be dealing with.”

“I will, Rafa. You and the kids going to be okay?”

“Of course. We were fine the last time you went out there. Where are you staying?”

“Probably the hotel with Nick and Fin.”

“Why not with Erin?”

“She’s got that young girl staying with her and the last time I stayed, she kinda got an attitude cause Erin made her sleep on the couch.”

“She’s really taking care of her, isn’t she?”

“Yeah. She said Voight saved her so she felt like maybe she could help Nadia the same way.”

“Okay. Let me know when you land. Don’t stress yourself out. You don’t know what you could be carrying,” he said as he put his hand on her belly.

“It’s too soon, Rafa.”

“You never know,” he shrugged. “Okay, go. I don’t want you to miss your flight. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

 

“Thanks, Sarge. We got it from here,” Nick told desk Sergeant Trudy Platt as they started putting their stuff on desks in the 21st District. 

“Uh, Sergeant Voight likes everything just the way it is, so I wouldn't be moving anything around.” 

“Well, I'm glad you told me. I was planning on stealing the copier,” Izzy joked earning a look that wasn’t a glare nor was Platt amused. “Oh, you don’t know I’m kidding.”

“Good job. Get the old battle-ax pissed as soon as we get here,” Fin laughed. 

“Nick did it the last time we came before we even made it upstairs last time.”

Dr. Gregory Yates was brought in after Officers Roman and Burgess located the car a girl who described a man that gave her a real creepy vibe that matched the description of the suspect they were looking for.

Nick and Erin talked to him but they weren’t able to legally hold him for the moment.

He called a little later, wanting to speak to Erin to “apologize” for them getting off on the wrong foot and requested a meeting at Millennium Park. 

 

“Just stay where we can see you,” Hank told her. “We'll be nearby in case anything goes sideways. Al, you guys find a good lookout yet?”

“Halstead, Rossetti, and I will be near the pedestrian bridge a few hundred yards away.”

“Fin, Amaro, you're on the ground with Ruzek and Antonio. Stay sharp.”

They all sat out in the cold waiting on Yates to show up. They watched as we walked up to Erin.

“Izzy can you take a shot if things start to go south?”

“As long as he doesn’t move.”

“I can’t believe Voight’s letting you have that rifle.”

“Shut it, Dawson.”

“All of you shut it and pay attention,” Hank told them all through the radio.

“Fuck, he’s got her moving.”

While he had them watching Erin in the park, another house was on fire with a dead girl in it.

“He used Erin and the rest of us as an alibi,” Nick deduced. 

 

Nadia had taken Erin’s car to get Erin a cake for her 5-year anniversary in Intelligence. Burgess and Roman found Yates’ car in a parking lot across from the district with a cake on the ground. “That son of a bitch got her.”

“You don’t know that, Erin.”

“Izzy come on. You know it and I know it.”

“Just try to stay calm.”

“I’m trying. Let me know when you get home.” 

Izzy took a flight home to tell Liv in person what was going on at Voight’s request so they could begin their search for Yates.

“Okay, we’ll set up a tip line, put out a BOLO on Erin’s car. You go home and get some rest.”

“Okay, Liv. I’ll be back in the morning.”

She got home to find what appeared to be some sort of fort that had been made and consequently destroyed in the living room. Rafael, Jackson, Emersyn, and the dog were all asleep on a pallet on the floor while “Guardians of the Galaxy” seemingly had just started over. She could’ve woke them up but after the two days she already had, she wanted her pajamas, and to go to sleep. She grabbed her pillow after she changed and wedged her a spot in between her husband and son. Rafael must’ve been worn out because he barely moved with the exception of draping his arm over his wife and pulling her to him.


	69. Chapter 69

They found Erin’s car in an abandoned ship yard, no sign of Yates or Nadia.

“Erin you have insurance, right?”

“Of course, Izzy.”

“Good,” she said as broke the driver’s side window. Benson found a white scarf tucked in the backseat with blood on it.

“Erin you recognize this?”

“I gave that to her.”

“She left it for us to find,” Voight mused.

Izzy went over to Erin before she could break down in tears. “She could still be alive.”

 

“Nadia Decotis would be horrified to find me on trial for her murder. She was someone I grew close to.”

“Is there a point to this,” Judge Barth asked.

“In light of the serious charges I'm facing, I've decided it's in my best interest to represent myself.” 

“Dr. Yates, are you sure? You are entitled to competent counsel, and Ms. Crane is an experienced attorney.” 

“She is, but with all due respect, it's my life at stake, not hers.” 

“This is a delaying tactic,” Rafael scoffed. 

“No, I'm ready to go now. I may lack experience, but I am committed to clearing my name.” 

“Very well. Trial will proceed with Ms. Crane staying on as co-counsel.”

 

“Detective Rossetti you don’t like me very much, do you?”

“Objection.”

“Keep your questions about the case, Dr. Yates.”

“Okay. You went to Chicago to assist in a case involving rape, murder, and arson. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“And you were called out by Hank Voight personally.”

“Not necessarily. Detectives Amaro, Tutuola, and myself were speaking to Sergeant Voight and Sergeant Benson via the computer when he asked the three of us to come out with files pertaining to a similar case In New York.”

“You and Detective Lindsay were college roommates, correct?”

“Objection. Detective Rossetti and Detective Lindsay’s…”

“Sustained. I’m not going to warn you again.”

“Sorry, your honor. You were aware that your sergeant had another suspect at first? A Dr. Will Halstead?”

“Yes.”

“And what happened with that?”

“He was cleared by an alibi. I don’t why you’re asking…”

“Is that anger, Detective? You know they say women tend to emit certain scents when they’re emotions change or even there hormones. How far along are you, Detective?”

Before Rafael could even get the word out, Judge Barth handled the situation. “You’re done, Dr. Yates.”

“Okeydoke,” he shrugged.

“Are you okay?” Rafael asked once they exited the courtroom for lunch.

“I’m fine. He was trying to get into my head.”

“Is that all?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna grab something to eat? You want something?”

“I don’t have time. I gotta prep Benson.”

“Okay. I’m just gonna head back to the office after I get some food.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“Is she okay?” Dawson asked Rafael.

“Yeah. Yates just got in her head a little.”

 

“You’re sure you’re not pregnant?”

“We’ve only been trying to almost three months. It’s not possible.”

“And I got the results from my last…test and my sperm count is getting higher each time.”

“Rafa can we just drop it? I’m not going to listen to the ramblings of some psycho serial killer. He was just trying to throw me off and he did a good job of it. I’ve testified in 100s of trials but…he…gets off on torture even in the courtroom.”

“Still…”

“I said drop it, please.”

“Okay. I guess I’m just excited.”

“I know you are. I just think we shouldn’t get all excited just yet. It took forever to get Emmie and we were 10 years younger.”

“It didn’t take any time to get pregnant with Jackson though.”

“I remember.”

 

“What are you people doing here?” Rafael asked as Erin, Dawson, Halstead, and Voight walked into his office. 

“Izzy take a pregnancy test yet?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, Dawson, but no. Yates was just fucking with her cause he pissed her off.”

“MY brother said that Yates has this thing about him.”

“What do you mean, Halstead?”

“Yates was one of Will’s professors in medical school. He had a way…it’s hard to explain. Will said he was able to sense things about women.”

“It’s something worth looking into,” Voight interjected.

“I’ll talk to her. She’s not going to listen but I’ll talk to her.”

 

“Hey, what’s this?” Izzy said taking a bag from Rafael. “Rafa…”

“What could it hurt? You take one, it’s negative, I’ll drop it.”

“Did you buy every kind CVS had on their shelf?”

“I got a pretty bag to put them in.”

“I think I know my body better than Gregory Yates.”

“Really? Last night during sex, you pushed my hands away from your tits and why was that?”

“They’re sore because I’m probably about to start my period.”

“Fine. I’m done arguing about this.”

“Finally.”

 

“Just take a test.”

“You, too, Carisi? I mean come on. I’m 38-years-old, I’ve been pregnant before. I’ve had no morning sickness yet which with the first two it started almost immediately.”

“Bella didn’t get morning sickness for a while.”

“Did he put you up to this?”

“No.”

“Carisi.”

“He didn’t, I swear. I just know it’s been pretty hot gossip for the last couple of days around here.”

“Well, I’m glad everyone finds my reproductive health so interesting,” she said as she got up and to go to court since they jury had already reached a verdict in Yates’ case. He was found guilty much to everyone’s relief. Rafael knew what he was doing when he called Melinda back to the stand to refute Yates’ claim that Nadia was a prostitute. He had the pictures from Nadia’s autopsy and purposely showed them in Yates’ direction, knowing he would practically get off on them. 

“Good work, Counselor,” Hank said as he shook his hand. 

“Your husband is smart,” Dawson told Izzy while they stood against a wall, letting everyone clear out. “You know, Will told Jay that Yates’ has a sort of sixth sense…”

“Sick or sixth?”

“Well both. I mean…”

“Ugh, Antonio. Fine. If it’ll make everyone feel better since you guys have nothing better to talk about, I’ll take the damn test.” She noticed Antonio nodding in Rafael’s direction. “He put you up to this?”

“He asked for some help. Just do it. For him at least. Stop being so fucking stubborn.”

 

“Well?”

“Give me another one!”

“Are you serious?”

“Rafael come on! You want to know, don’t you? I drank a gallon of water at least. I’m not wasting it!”

“Fine. Let me open another one.”

“Better make it two.”

5 different pregnancy tests sat on the bathroom counter. They were all digital so it wouldn’t be hard to read the results.

“Well?” He asked again once she came out of the bathroom.

“They’re all the same.”

“And?”

He knew the look on her face all too well. He had seen it 3 times before.

“You’re serious?”

She just nodded.


	70. Chapter 70

“Okay, Rafael. The ‘I told you so’ texts were funny the first few days but it’s enough,” Izzy laughed as she walked into her husband’s office.

“Oh, where’s that sense of humor?”

“Rafa…”

“Okay, I’ll stop. The doctor said everything was fine and I’m tired of Carisi and Nick asking me. Don’t you think it’s time to tell them?”

“We need to tell the kids first.”

“I know. I’m more nervous about telling them than everyone else, honestly.”

“Why?”

“Well, Jackson’s going to realize he’s not the baby anymore. He might not take it so well.”

“I know but we need to get it done. November will be here before we know it.”

“Yeah. We’ll tell them tonight.”

“Okay. So, here’s the files you asked for.”

“Thank you, mi amor,” he said as he kissed her.

“Mr. Barba? Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize Izzy was here.”

“It’s fine Carmen.”

“Reverend Curtis is on the phone for you.”

“Tell him I am not handling this case and then send the call to O’Dwyer.”

“Yes, sir. Oh, Izzy, congratulations.”

“Rafa!”

“I don’t know how she found out,” he shrugged earning an eyeroll from both women that stood in his office.

 

“So, you think this will work?”

“It worked for Monica and Chandler when they told Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey they bought the house in Westchester.”

“Okay, that was fictional TV show that went off the air 11 years ago and both of our kids are smarter than Joey Tribbiani was.”

“We are fixing to change their lives. Something positive in their minds beforehand might ease the blow.”

“But new iPads?”

“Minis. These are different from the other ones they have.”

“We don’t even have these yet.”

“Rafa…”

“Fine. Call them in here.”

“We’re here, Mami,” Emersyn said as they came from their rooms.

“Go have a seat on the couch, guys. Papi and I need to talk to you about something.”

“Are we in trouble?”

“No not at all. Just go,” Rafael laughed.

“Are you ready for this?”

“Yeah,” he said as he took his wife’s hand and the gift bags that held their gifts.

 

“New iPads? Thanks!”

“Okay now, hey, pay attention. Mami and I need to tell you something.”

Two sets of green eyes looked at their parents, wondering what could they possibly have to tell them.

“We’re going to have another baby.”

Jackson and Emersyn looked at each other before turning back to their parents. “Really?”

“Yes, really. Your new brother or sister will be here in November.”

“Does that mean one of us will have to share our room?”

“No, Jackson,” Rafael chuckled, “the guestroom will be turned into the baby’s room.”

“Good cause I have to go to school and my friend Will says his baby sister cries all night.”

“I remember a certain little boy that kept me and Mami up a lot.”

“Who? Me?”

“Are you guys okay with this?”

“I’m already a big sister so I get to be one twice now.”

“True,” Izzy laughed.

“And I get to be a big brother. I’m just not changing diapers.”


	71. Chapter 71

Izzy walked in from talking to some of trafficked girls who would be testifying in Johnny D’s up coming trial. She could smell food cooking, along with the sounds of U2.

“¿Qué huele tan bien, Papi? (What smells so good?)”

“Hola, mi amor. Serían mis abuelita’s ropa vieja que amas.”

“Me Mimas, Papi (you spoil me).”

“Sólo tienes que esperar y ver qué más Papi te va a hacer más tarde, cariño (Just wait and see what else Papi is going to do to you later),” he whispered against neck before sucking a small spot, driving her crazy.

“No puedo esperar. Te necesito ahora (I can't wait. I need you now),” she moaned.

“Lo siento, mi amor. Después de la cena (Sorry, mi amor. After dinner).”

“No eres divertido (you’re no fun).”

“So, did it go today?”

“Most of them seem ready to testify. Nina is bound and determined to make sure he’s put away.”

“Good. We don’t need fuck-ups with this. You think you’ll be okay to go talk to Selena with Nick tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I can’t believe the department won’t promote him.”

“Are you going to take the exam now?”

“I already told Liv no once.”

“You can tell her you’ve changed your mind.”

“I wouldn’t feel right going over Fin.”

“She asked him and he said no, then she asked you and you said no. The department won’t promote Nick so you could tell her you’ve changed your mind.”

“Rafa I’m almost 4 months pregnant. I just don’t think I need that added stress. The kids are with your mom, right?”

“Yeah. With this trial and everything, I just thought it was better so they can stay on schedule.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. How much longer until dinner is ready?”

“About 30 minutes.”

“Do you need some help?”

“No, mi amor. If you want to get off your feet go ahead.”

 

Selena killed Timmer as they were being transported the day before they were set to testify. Monkey wrench #1. Then one of the trafficked girls, Pilar, changed her story from her original grand jury testimony, saying on the stand that Johnny D never paid her for sex or raped her. He only paid her to clean his house. Monkey wrench #2. Liv was also dealing with Johnny’s smarmy lawyer, Braun, who had talked Johnny into fighting to reinstate his parental rights to Noah. 

Everything came to a head when the one girl that lead they originally been searching for that led them to Johnny, Ariel, was testifying. Other girls and pimps in the gallery started shouting at her and Judge Barth. Johnny was able to use to the distraction to his advantage as he tossed the defense table, grabbed a female court officer, and pulled her out with her own gun pointed at her head. Nick ran out after them. He took a bullet to the knee and one to the liver but not before shooting Johnny D. Judge Barth had been hit in the shoulder. Morning sickness had gotten to Izzy and she didn’t go to court that day. Carisi called to tell her what happened and to let her know that Rafael was okay.

“Mi amor?”

“In the bedroom.”

“You still feeling bad?”

“I’m better than I was. How are you?”

“I’m fine. Barth just got hit in the shoulder. My hands aren’t as stained as I thought they’d be.”

“You want me to order dinner?”

“You can. I’m going to get in the shower, wash this day off of me.”

“Go ahead, babe. Pizza?”

“That’s fine, mi amor.”

She went to get off the bed when he pulled her in for a hug. “I’m so glad you were sick today,” he laughed. “I kept thinking if you had been there today, what could’ve happened?”

“But it didn’t. This kid better be really frickin’ cute as sick as it’s making me. Now go get in the shower.”

“You want to join me?”

“Uh…”

“I need to be inside you,” he whispered before he kissed her.

“Follow me.”

The water fell against them as he kissed her neck while holding her leg around his waist. “Raf…”

“You ready for me, cariño?”

“Always.”

He held her against the tile of their shower as he pushed into her. His strong arms held her tightly as he fucked her against the wall of their shower. They had practically perfected that over the years. “You feel so good,” he moaned. 

“I’m almost there, Rafa.”

Hearing those words followed by her walls clinching around his dick while her juices soaked it caused him to spill his load into her. He held her as she put her feet on the ground so she wouldn’t fall. “When did the water start getting cold?”

“I don’t know but I’m getting out before I shrivel up,” he laughed.

 

A few weeks later, they went to small get together at Liv’s to celebrate her official adoption of Noah. Nick had been in physical therapy for about two weeks at that point. He had been talking to Liv in her kitchen when he hobbled out on his crutches and asked to speak to Izzy out in the hall.

“Are you serious, Nick?”

“Yeah. I’m not going anywhere in the department. You should take the Sergeant’s exam. You’d be perfect.”

“But California?”

“Zara and Gil are both out there. I can at least see them more.”

“I can see that. What does Amanda say?”

“I haven’t told her. Whatever was there, it’s been gone since the AJ Martin case. It’s better this way anyways.”

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too. I was always closer to you than Sonya. I mean you were there for me when Maria left, when I found out Gil, the stuff with my dad.”

“You’ve been there for me, too.”

“I know. Thousands of miles apart, you’re always gonna be my sister.”

“Give me a hug, Amaro.”

“Uncle Nick is going to want to know when Barba baby #3 gets here. I better get pictures from one of you.”

“You will, Nick, I promise. Hug Zara and Gil for me.”

“No problem. One more before we go back inside,” he asked as he choked up.

The former partners but forever family hugged once more. Rafael quietly stepped out and saw tears falling from his wife’s eyes and went back inside. He saw Liv with tear stained cheeks as well and knew it wasn’t good news.


	72. Chapter 72

“No, no, no. I’m not going to talk to Yates,” Izzy told Liv when a female body floated up around his burial ground in Pelham Bay. The only difference was this one was dismembered and she was a red head. Yates liked brunettes.

“I know you don’t want be around him but he said he’ll only talk to you and Rollins.”

“Strange considering we’re both blond,” Amanda scoffed.

“Fine. I’ll go.”

“No, you won’t. Liv?”

“Barba look I don’t like it either but if they can get him to talk…”

“Send Fin with them.”

“Yeah, I’ll go.”

“The three of us go in there, he’s going to think we’re ambushing him,” Amanda spoke up.

“Look, Barba, just let these two go. They’ll be fine.”

“Fine. He upsets my wife…”

“I’ll be fine, Rafa.”

 

“Are you seriously going to eat that whole burrito?”

“And if you tell my husband, Rollins, I will have no choice but to stick my foot so far up your ass, you’ll have to drag me to hell with you.”

“I’m not saying anything,” Amanda laughed as she threw her hands up. “I don’t know why he hovers overs you the way he does. He tells you what to eat, what to drink…”

“He’s just looking out for the baby and me but yes, he drives me crazy at times.”

“I want to ask you something, Izz.”

“Go ahead,” she said with her mouth full.

“Okay, how did you know you were pregnant? I mean besides being late?”

“With Emersyn that was basically it. I mean we had been trying for almost a year so every time I was late, I’d take a test. We should’ve had stock in First Response that year, I swear. The second time I was pregnant. I was late and my boobs were sore. With Jack, I actually had another period but it wasn’t a period. Morning sickness hit almost all of a sudden. And this one…well, my husband took the word of deranged serial killer but when we’d have sex, I wouldn’t let him nowhere near my boobs. They hurt so much more than the last times. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.”

 

“That poor, poor girl raped, tortured.” 

“And her skull was fractured,” Izzy told Yates. 

“You think I'm responsible. I understand. It is the logical assumption. We had a saying in medical school if you hear hoof beats, think horses, not zebras.”

“The ME found traces of green polish on her fingernails.” 

“Really? Now, that is fascinating. Someone committed this horrific crime, and then he went out of his way to piggyback it onto crimes I've been accused of.”

“That was our initial response,” Amanda said. 

“Gingers are anathema to me. I prefer brunettes. No offense. How is Erin Lindsay, Detective Rossetti?”

“You don’t mention her name.”

“I do apologize if I’ve upset you; today or when I questioned you. I see by the fuller bosom, I was right.”

“That’s it, I’m out of here,” Izzy said as she stood up.

“Okay, truce?”

“Yates any ideas why somebody would have done it?” Amanda asked while Izzy stood behind her. 

“Well, I don't know. Maybe the killer likes the act of cutting into bone and flesh. Do you mind if I have another look?”

“Go right ahead.” 

“I'm really sorry. You have your work cut out for you.”

“We appreciate your help, Doctor.” 

“Thoughts are occurring. If I can, uh, stew on them for a couple of days I might have something for you.”

 

“That’s why I didn’t want you going up there,” Rafael told his wife after she told him about her trip to Green Haven Correctional.

“He just pissed me off, that’s all.”

“I’ve never seen anyone get to you like Yates.”

“It’s the fact that he got to me that it’s getting to me.”

“You are not speaking to him again with just Rollins. He wants to talk to you, he can with either me, Fin, or Carisi in the cell with you.”

“Okay, let’s forget about Yates for a little bit.”

“You’re right. So, we go next week to find out what the baby is, right?”

“Yeah, if she will cooperate.”

“He.”

“You were right once. Don’t get cocky.”

“You know that just comes naturally.”

“Oh, stop,” she laughed, tossing a dish towel at him.

“When do you think I should get my vasectomy redone?”

“Uh, that’s up to you.”

“Ugh, I told you I didn’t mean what I said a few months ago.”

“I know but…are you going to be sure this is the last one?”

“Are you thinking about one more after this?”

“No…I just don’t want you to go through that again…”

“Okay, how about we wait 6 months at least and we can make a decision then?”

“You’ll have to use condoms again until whatever birth control I use takes effect.”

“It’s been over a decade since I’ve used one. I don’t know if I remember how.”

“You’re an idiot,” she laughed.

“An idiot that, as of this December, you will have been with for 20 years. What does that say about you, hmm?”

“My headboard in college did some damage to the common sense part of my brain?”

“Ha ha.”

 

“Rossetti, SVU.”

“Izzy it’s Jay.”

“What’s up, Halstead?”

“When was the last time you talked to Erin?”

“A few weeks ago. She hasn’t answered any of my calls lately. Is everything okay?”

“She quit the unit.”

“What?”

“How well do you know Bunny?”

“Her mother? Not very well. I’ve only met her a few times.”

“Well, you know Erin has been taking Nadia’s death hard and Voight seems to think Bunny played to that. I caught her coming out of a club at 7 in the morning the other day.”

“Fuck.”

“I know you’re pregnant and you don’t need this.”

“No, you needed to tell me. Let me talk to Barba and Liv. Maybe I can come out for a few days and talk some sense into her.”

“Voight thinks if anyone can, it would be you.”

 

Jay and Antonio picked Izzy up from O’Hare the next day and took her directly to Voight.

“She hasn’t answered your calls either?”

“No, Hank.”

“She’s got just a few days before she’s officially terminated. I just put her on furlough for 5 weeks so she could work through things. She hasn’t acted like this since before I took her in. Her fucking mother…”

“Yeah, I agree Hank. Bunny played to her vulnerability, just like she always has. I just can’t believe Erin fell for it this time.”

“We’re working a case right now but if you need anything while you’re here, Burgess and Roman will be readily available for you. Isn’t that right, you two?”

“You got is, Sarge.”

“We’ll help Rossetti any way we can,” Burgess agreed.

 

“Erin! Erin!”

“Oh, hey, uh, Izzy.”

“Really, Bunny? It’s 10 in the morning,” she said smelling fresh booze on Erin’s mother when she opened Erin’s door.

“Nice to see you, too.”

“Where’s your daughter?”

“In her bed. Oh, please come in,” she said as Izzy pushed passed her without waiting for the invitation.

“Erin! Erin!”

“What? Izzy? What are you doing out here?”

“I’m fixing to kick your ass that’s what. You’re too fucking old to be acting like this.”

“What do you care?”

“Would I be here if I didn’t? Get a fucking shower, you’re coming with me.”

“But…”

“I said now!”

“Okay, okay,” Erin said as she slowly got up out of her bed.

“What’s all the yelling about?”

Izzy didn’t say anything as she shoved Bunny back out of the door and locked it. “You can’t do this to me!”

“Bunny get your shit and get out of the apartment before I have you removed.”

“You gonna call Voight?”

“Is that what you want?”

“Fine. Erin knows where to find me.”

 

Jay was kidnapped and beaten by a drug dealer who even killed his own brother. In exchange for Jay, he wanted CI files brought by a female detective. Erin finally came to her senses and went to help get Jay back. Izzy was keeping up with what was going on in New York with Yates. He had accused Deputy Chief ME Carl Rudnick of the murder of a girl found in a townhouse in Harlem. He made a $2 million bail and skipped town. Carisi and Rollins caught up to him, dressed in drag around Buffalo and brought him back. 

“So, you gonna go back to work or back to being BFF’s with Bunny?” Izzy asked Erin after Jay was rescued.

“I can go back to work but Voight is going to make me stay with him, take random drug tests. I’m 38 years old and I feel 15 all over again.”

“Can you blame him, Erin?”

“No. Not really. He is letting me take a few days to relax. No Bunny, no work, just to get my head together. I was thinking maybe I could come to New York for a few days?”

“That shouldn’t be a problem. The guestroom hasn’t been changed yet.”

“I thought that was supposed to be the room I was gonna go grow old in?”

“Please, you’re gonna marry Jay in the next few years.”

“Funny. Thanks for coming out here.”

“Just don’t make me do it again.”


	73. Chapter 73

“Carisi…”

“Come on, Izz. They’re fun.”

“A gender reveal party? So, what? No presents?”

“No. Not until the baby shower a few weeks later.”

“So, Rafael and I go…”

“I can go with you guys and they can tell only me or you can sign a release so I can call and find out the sex of the baby.”

“And you’ll plan the whole party?”

“Absolutely. You tell me who want to invite and I’ll make it happen. I mean you go back for another ultrasound in a month since the baby didn’t want to cooperate the other day. I have plenty of time.”

“Okay. But you have to run it by Barba…”

“Ok-“

“And without me to hold your hand.”

 

“Are we really going to let Carisi plan this whatever it is?”

“It’s a gender reveal party. He offered.”

“Did he offer to one for Rollins, too?”

“She said no. She’s a single mother and doesn’t see the point. She was egging him on about doing one for us so it seems like she wants to live vicariously.”

“Are you sure Nick’s not the father?”

“He told me everything stopped with them after the AJ Martin case and since she’s due a month after me, I’m inclined to think not.”

“You don’t think it’s Carisi’s do you?”

“Oh, very funny, Rafa.”

“Fine, Carisi can do this but he better not once tell me I owe him for anything.”

 

“I don’t like being told what to wear to a party that is going to the reveal the sex of MY child.”

“Oh my god, Rafa, quit whining.”

“I like my white t-shirts to sleep in, not to wear just out and about.”

“Would you rather wear one of your white dress shirts, have it stained pink?”

“Blue and no. What did he plan for the reveal that we were requested to wear white and nothing that we would mind being ruined?”

“I honestly have no idea. Rollins, Liv, and Fin won’t talk.”

“I still can’t believe he called your mom and she agreed to help him.”

“You did write him a check for the money he spent on this didn’t you?”

“I did but he wouldn’t take it.”

“And you didn’t argue?”

“Do you know me but at all? You know I argued, I even told him I’d pull the plug on this ‘party’ but he called my bluff. He’s gonna need help studying for the bar and I know he’s going to ask me. He wouldn’t take our money so I’ll feel obligated to help him and you know he’ll make me feel guilty until I do.”

“Poor, poor, Papi. Somebody has a man-crush on you.”

“Shut it. Are the kids ready?”

“Yeah. Emmie has her pink shirt on and Jack has his blue one on.”

“Carisi spent way too much time on this. We better get to Brooklyn.”

 

They walked up Stella and Anthony’s drive-way to find blue and pink decorations adorning the backyard. 

“Rafa, look,” Izzy said as she pointed to a sign that read “What will it be? Almost time to see bouncing he or pretty little she?”.

“Yeah, he really outdid himself. All the time he spent planning this, he could’ve been studying.”

“Will you stop being such a…dad?” Izzy laughed. 

“Fine. Which punch do you think is spiked, the blue or the pink?”

“Neither, fool.”

“Papi, come on this is going to be fun,” Emmie said looking up at her dad with those green eyes.

“Maybe so, Princesa. Go see your Nonna.”

Liv and Noah showed up, along with Amanda, Fin, Melinda, Erin, Jay, Dawson, Tony, Lucia, all of Izzy and Tony’s cousins, aunts and uncles. The backyard was full of people waiting to see what Barba baby #3 was, with Carisi being the only one who knew.

Carisi had Mardi-Gra type beads out in pink and blue for everyone to pick what they thought the baby might be.

“I know the party didn’t start without me?”

“Oh my god, Nick! I can’t believe you’re here!”

“What did I say? You’re my sister. I will be here when I can.”

“It’s not the same without you.”

After everyone greeted Nick, who was in complete shock at Amanda’s pregnancy, Sonny decided it was time to finally reveal the sex of the baby. He handed Rafael and Izzy each a black bottle. Both of them were trying to see what color paint was in it after Sonny told them how the reveal would take place but they were too dark.

“Don’t you get this in my hair,” Izzy warned.

“Same goes for you.”

“Stop being babies,” Carisi laughed. “This isn’t like house paint. It will wash off.”

“Fine. Okay are you ready, cariño?”

“Count of three?”

“Okay.”

They counted to three and started squirting the bottles that sprayed blue paint all over the both of them. “Another boy?”

“I guess you were right.”

They couldn’t but laugh as they were covered in the paint and Rafael was so happy he was getting another son. Of course they started acting like kids and getting the paint all over each other’s faces and hair. "I love you so much, mi amor."

"I love you, too," she said as he leaned down the whole 4 inches between them to kiss her while both of them were covered in blue paint. 

"Isn't this how the two of you got in this position to begin with?" Fin laughed.


	74. Chapter 74

“You talk to the housing authority?” Liv asked Carisi concerning their latest investigation concerning a 3 year old being found in a store by himself. 

“They're checking, but my contact there said not to expect much.” 

“So, Manuela's strung out, and Bruno is home alone. Did you run their names through Child Services?” 

“Yeah, I called them. Without a last name, the guy told me where I could go.” 

“Did he? Let's do a drop-in.” 

“Yeah, you know what, Izzy and I got this.” 

“Actually, Rollins, why don't you two stay here with Fin?”

“We’re fine, Liv. Seriously, we can go.” 

“No, seriously, just work the phones. You know, food stamps, housing. Carisi, let's go.”

“Why don’t she just do the two of you like Kunta Kinte and chop off a foot?” Fin laughed.

“Funny. She acts like we’re helpless.”

“I know she keeps telling Rafael about my second breakfast I have every day. Snitch.”

“Seriously?”

“Why do you think he keeps bringing me salads with very little dressing for lunch, Rollins? I eat breakfast at home then around 9:30, I go get a breakfast burrito from the truck down the street, then he shows up with a salad. If I don’t get my burrito, then he’ll bring me something better.”

“How do you know that, Izz?”

“Because I tested my theory the other day. I started catching on to what was happening. I know Liv’s the one that tells him.”

 

“Where was Child Services?” Barba asked as all 3 female SVU detectives stood in his office after the death of Bruno’s 8-year-old sister, Keisha Houston. 

“Well, Carisi talked to Keith Musio, her caseworker. He's so slammed he doesn't remember yesterday. His supervisor, Jeanette Grayson, claims that DCS is launching an internal investigation,” Liv told him.

“You mean cover-up. Keisha's dead. What's there to cover up?” 

“Their complicity. The caseworker botched this,” his wife replied. 

“You want to prosecute the caseworker?” 

“Uh, yes. That’s why we’re here.” 

“Brooklyn tried that and lost. Morally responsible, okay, legally Keisha didn't…” 

“If Keith had actually been showing up for his visits, he would have noticed. And she'd still be alive.” 

“Okay, all right, I get it,” he said as he put his hands on his wife’s arms in an attempt to calm her down. “You're angry, emotional, but if you want me to go after this guy, I'm gonna need more than maternal outrage to make a case.”

“That’s incredibly sexist, Rafa.”

“I don’t mean it like that. I’ve got two very pregnant detectives in my office, plus another one with a child. You guys are letting your emotions get in the way. I need something substantial. ¿Entiendes?”

Izzy nodded.

“Me encargaré de esto una vez que tenga más pruebas. Lo prometo. (I will handle this once I have more evidence. I promise.)”

“Okay.”

 

“Where’s Mami?”

“She’s still at work, Jack.”

“So why aren’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“If Mami is at work, shouldn’t you be?”

“What’s with the attitude?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t roll your eyes at me.”

“Whatever.”

Rafael stood in the living room, shocked at his son’s attitude toward him. It had been getting worse over the last few weeks. Izzy walked in about an hour later after walked to Bruno and Keisha’s mother Manuela.

“How did it go?”

“She let her boyfriend put Keisha in a cage because she didn’t like them partying and would say something about it. How can some parents be so cruel?”

“I don’t know, mi amor.”

“Anyway, she wants to go to Keisha’s funeral.”

“Ugh, I’ll see what I can do.”

“So how were the kids?”

“Emmie was great. Jack, however…”

“Attitude?”

“When did it get so bad? And more importantly why?”

“Have you talked to him?”

“I ask what’s wrong, he says nothing.”

“Sounds like his dad.”

“No, sounds like his mother.”

 

“Mami, I’m telling you I’ve just about had it with your grandson.”

“What did he do now,” Lucia laughed through the phone.

“His mouth…it’s terrible. My almost 9-year-old son asked me what the hell I wanted when I called him into the den. Why is this so funny?”

“Do you not remember what you were like at that age, mijo?”

“I’ve blocked out most of my childhood. I only remember the last 20 years.”

“Raf your childhood wasn’t always terrible. I seem to remember your mouth getting you into trouble and I don’t mean in the streets with Eddie and Alex. I’m talking about with me.”

“As an ADA who is married to a cop, I think making my child eat soap would constitute as a child abuse these days.”

“Have you punished him?”

“Well after the fight he got into at school, he’s basically living like a monk. No TV, no iPad, and no phone. No baseball this year either.”

“Raffi don’t you think that’s a little extreme?”

“NO! He needs to learn. This is ridiculous. Emmie doesn’t act like this.”

“You ever stop to think there’s a reason for Jackson acting out?”

“Mami there’s nothing wrong with him other than his mother spoiling him.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Thanks so much for your help,” he said sarcastically.

“And you wonder where he got his mouth,” Izzy said walking in his home office.”

“I gotta go, Mami. I know you’re not blaming this on me.”

“Did you not hear how you were talking to your mother?”

“Fine but it’s just me he’s learned that from.”

“Whatever.”

“That! That right there he got from you.”

“Thanks, I’ll log that away.”

“There you go again! You seriously think this is all on me? No, ma’am and if you don’t believe me, how about I call my father-in-law and he can tell you what he said to me when I asked his permission to marry you, hmm?”

“So, what did your mom have to say?”

“I’d change the subject, too,” he said with that smirk on his face. 

“Rafa.”

“She…”, he stopped with a quizzical look on his face. “She was right. There’s something bothering him. He’s never acted like before.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna go take my son to baseball practice.”

Izzy wasn’t quite sure what had just happened but she didn’t question her husband either.


	75. Chapter 75

“You are seriously going to have the baby at home?”

“Yes, Rollins. Why is that do hard to believe?”

“It’s not. I just couldn’t imagine not having anything for pain.”

“I’ll have some pain meds. Just no epidural.”

“And plus you get that immediate bonding, you get to move around, eat and drink during labor. Studies have shown that being in a familiar environment can speed labor. What?”

“You are big girl, Carisi.”

“My sister Gina had one, Fin.”

“I will never understand white people.”

“Well, are the kids going to be there?”

“No. Whenever my water breaks, either my mother or my mother-in-law will come get them, Amanda.”

“How’s Jackson doing, by the way?”

“Better. I mean, he told Rafael he was scared we were going to forget about him with new baby. Rafael assured him that wasn’t going to happen. Like yesterday, I mean he took him out of school to go watch the Yankees.”

“Aww, that’s sweet.”

“Are you crying, Rollins?”

“No. You’re crying. Shut up.”

“Anyways, his attitude has calmed down for the most part. He’s still not completely thrilled with another boy, though. I can see it. He won’t feel when he kicks or anything.”

“He’ll get better.”

“If not that’s what therapists are for, I suppose.”

“Barba?”

“What is it, Fin?”

“You’re seriously going to let your wife have your son at home?”

“Yes,” he chuckled as he sat down another “healthy” lunch in front of his wife, to which she rolled her eyes. 

“You’re really okay with this?”

“Rollins I am not going to argue with her. Plus, she’s been shot so I think she can handle natural childbirth.”

“Carisi was telling us all the benefits of a homebirth,” Fin laughed.

“You learn that stuff in law school?” Rafael scoffed.

“No,” Carisi replied as he rolled his eyes.

“So, Chinese food yesterday and today, what a tofu burger?”

“You need to eat better than you do.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Izzy remembered Liv wasn’t in that day so she couldn’t have told on her. “Carisi!”

“What?”

“You’re the rat!”

“What? I…I…”

“You have been telling my husband about 9:30 snack.”

“I…I…I…uh…”

“Busted!” Fin laughed as he clapped his hands together.

“Don’t be mad at Carisi, mi amor. I told him I’d let him shadow me when it comes time if he’d do me a favor.”

“You both…on my list,” she said as she got up from her desk to get her something to drink.

“So, have you guys decided on a name yet?”

“Still kicking a few around. I named the last two so this one is on my wife.”

 

“Hey.” Izzy said as she popped her head into her husband’s office.

“Hey,” he half smiled as he looked up from a file he was hunched over.

“So, it’s true,” she said noticing he was reading Louise Campesi’s jacket.

“I don’t have choice. I fail to get an indictment, it’s my ass. We can’t afford for me to be without a job. They shot at an unarmed college student 35 times.”

“I know but Doom? I worked with him for years.”

“I know but I have to do my job.”

“Like they were doing?”

“Do you really believe that?”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” she shrugged.

“How many people have you shot in the line of duty? 3?”

“One in the leg, one in the arm, and killed the other one.”

“The one you shot in the arm had a gun pointed at you, too.”

“Oh, I remember. One of mine and Nick’s first major busts in Narcotics.”

“You were able to question him though. Terrance Reynolds won’t speak again.”

“I know.”

“Why don’t you get home? You’re 8 months pregnant and you need some rest. You can’t handle any stress if you’re giving birth to our son at home.”

“Okay. We still need to decide on a name.”

“You’re not naming him after me. That’s all I asked.”

“But I love your name.”

 

“So, how’d it go today?”

“I can’t talk about it and neither should you, Carisi,” Liv said as she came in from testifying before the grand jury. 

“But Barba knows what he’s doing?”

“Yeah, he does,” she said while shooting Izzy a look like she coulda killed her.

“What the fuck was that about,” Amanda asked noticing the look.

“I’m fixing to find out,” Izzy said as she got up from her desk and went into her Lieutenant’s office, slamming the door behind her. “You want to tell me what that was about?”

“What?”

“You looked at me…you know what? Forget it.”

“You told your husband you thought it was a bad shoot?”

“So?”

“You weren’t even there.”

“And I can’t have an opinion, after reading the reports and seeing the video? Rollins can have one but I can’t cause I disagree with you?”

“Your husband…”

“What about him? He’s doing his fucking job, like you believe those cops were doing.”

“You’re a cop. You’ve had to shoot…”

“I’ve never emptied my gun into somebody. You haven’t either. You have a problem with my husband doing his job, take it up with him. Don’t like a fucking teenager and give me dirty looks,” she said as she flung the door open. “Here.”

“What’s this,” Liv asked as she picked up the paper Izzy slammed on her desk.

“I was going to wait until the grand jury proceedings were over but my maternity leave starts now.”

 

“She’s mad at me, not you, mi amor.”

“I don’t care. She doesn’t have to act like a fucking child. Rollins and I were both not on the scene but she hasn’t said a damn word to her about her opinions on the matter.”

“So, Aunt Liv is mad at you because Papi’s doing his job? That makes no sense.”

“It’s more that she’s mad at me and took it out on your mother, Emersyn.”

“Well, my science teacher said you were very brave for taking this case on. She said that too many cops have gotten away with killing innocent people too much lately. It’s time someone does something about it.”

“I’m just doing my job, Princesa.”

“I know but still. You’re pretty brave.”

“Thanks. If you guys are finished eating, put your dishes in the dishwasher, and go finish your homework,” he said with a small smile. Emmie and Jack did as they were told. “Well, at least my daughter thinks I’m doing the right thing.”

“You are doing the right thing, babe.”


	76. Chapter 76

“Your due date is in two weeks and we still don’t have a name picked out, cariño.”

“Hmm, okay so you don’t want him named after you. How about Derek?”

“You’re not naming our son after Derek Jeter.”

“Andrew?”

“Or Andy Pettitte.”

“Mark?”

“Or Mark Teixeira.”

“Fred-“

“Or Freddie Mercury.”

“Will-“

“Or Billy Joel or Elton John,” he laughed before she could even get it out”

“Ugh!!! Just pick something then!”

“No, I named Emersyn and Jackson.”

“Fine. Finn.”

“No.”

“You’re impossible, Rafael Barba.”

“Hudson.”

“That…that I actually can live with.”

“Hudson Andrew?”

“Yeah. I like that.”

“Good, now help my fat ass off this couch.”

“You are not fat. With each pregnancy you’ve only gained maybe 40 pounds and you’ve went right back into your same clothes as before. You probably would make most women sick.”

“We’ll see if that happen this time considering I’ll be 39 when he’s born.”

“I think you’ll be fine.”

 

“You’re going to have the baby in that,” Emersyn said as she pointed at the birthing pool that had been set up in the den.

“Well, yeah,” Izzy laughed.

“That’s just weird. What’s this big ball for?”

“It’s supposed to help me relax or something.”

“Is it going to hurt?”

“Hmm, yeah.”

“I feel bad for Papi.”

“I’ll be fine, princesa. Here are the rest of the supplies,” Rafael said as he brought in another plastic tub with everything their midwife had suggested they get to prepare.

“Thank you, babe. Okay, so that looks like everything.”

“And I’m on leave as of 3 pm today. Now we just have to wait for Hudson to decide when he’s ready to make his appearance.”

“And when will we leave?”

“Probably as soon as Mami goes into labor. It could take a long time or just a could just be a couple of hours and we don’t think you guys need to see this.”

“Oh, I agree. I don’t think I need to see a baby born at my age.”

 

“Raf, what are you doing,” Izzy asked as Rafael started kissing her neck.

“Hmm, nothing. Why?”

“Doesn’t feel like nothing.”

“And if it’s not?” He said as he moved to her lips.

“Well, by all means, Counselor.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Who do you want tonight? It’s been a while since Papi has got to come out and play.”

“Then fuck me, Papi.”

“Gladly.”

 

“Just breathe, mi amor.”

“I am,” she said as laid her head on the birthing ball while he massaged her back. “Just keep doing that please.”

“No problem.”

“This is the last labor I’m ever going to go through.”

“Are you sad?” Rafael laughed.

“Kind of. I won’t carry another life inside of me after this one.”

“We can have another one…”

“I can’t think about that right now. Oh, who’s here?”

“I’ll go see. Will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine, Rafa. Go see who’s at the door.”

“I’ll be right back, mi amor.”

She sat up and sat on her knees, trying to see if she could identify the voice.

“Are we just going to pretend that everything’s okay?”

“I’d prefer it. What do you need, Liv?”

“Carisi said Izzy is in labor. I wanted to check on her.”

“She’s in the den. Feel free.”

“Hey,” Liv said gently as she sat on the floor next to Izzy. “How are you doing?”

“Hurting.”

“You look great, though.” They both kind of laughed while Liv rubbed her back. 

Liv stayed for about 30 minutes before she left them alone. 

 

She was in the pool with just a bathing suit top on, Rafael was behind her with his arms around her shoulders. She didn’t yell as much as either of them expected her to. “He’s almost here, mi amor.”

“I can’t do it anymore,” she said as tears fell from her eyes.

“Yes, you can. You’ve done this two other times.”

“I was a lot younger then and had…drugs.”

It seemed like forever when it was maybe 15 minutes as their last child was born. Rafael didn’t know what it was but he was more overcome by emotion with the birth of Hudson than he was Emersyn or Jackson, he actually sobbed after his son was placed on his wife’s chest. 

The house was promptly cleaned while Izzy took a shower and Rafael took his turn bonding with their son. She put on a tank top and yoga pants so she could be comfortable.

“You hungry, cariño?”

“Starving,” she laughed. 

“I would think so. You worked up an appetite. You want me to order something?”

“Whatever you like, Rafa.”

After they ate, they laid in bed with Hudson sleeping as he laid between them.

“You were amazing today.”

“Thank you. You did pretty good, too.”

“He’s beautiful. That’s one thing about us, we make pretty babies.”


	77. Chapter 77

“He’s so beautiful, Izz,” Amanda gushed as she held Hudson.

“You don’t have much longer. How’ve you been feeling?”

“My blood pressure has been stable but I’m not going back to work any time soon. I thought Barba was going to be off with you?”

“He is. It’s just the Hodda case is too important. What do you think about the new Sergeant?”

“Mini-Dodds, are you serious? You know he’s going to report back to Daddy every time one of us screws up.”

“Figures,” Izzy scoffed. 

“Hey, Rollins.”

“Hey, there he is. I had to come by and see the newest Barba addition. Think Izzy’s genes might take over with this one.”

“He’s got blond hair like her. We’ll see how long it lasts.”

“How are the kids doing with him?”

“Emmie is in love with him. She gets home from school and if he’s awake, she begs to hold him.”

“And Jack?”

“He held him the day after he was born but that’s it.”

“He’ll get better with him, Izz.”

“We hope.”

“So, I know this is a weird question but since he was born at home when or how, assuming…”

“Yes, Rollins he will be circumcised. He’s four days old and we can take him to a pediatric urologist and it can be done in the office in about a week.”

“She’s been hanging out with Carisi too much,” Rafael laughed. 

“I was just asking,” Amanda laughed.

“I can’t believe you’ve went all this time without finding out what you’re having.”

“I want to be surprised.”

“Weren’t you already surprised? You know what I’m talking about.”

“Funny, Izzy.”

 

“Fuck, you are still so amazing at that,” Rafael said as he caught his breath after his wife gave him head one night. The trial of Lewis Hodda was stressing him out and Carisi was shadowing him during it, which added to his stress. She knew he needed his mind taken off of it, even if only for 15 minutes. 

“Glad you enjoyed it.”

“Always. And like clockwork….”

“I’ll get him, love. You had a hard day and tomorrow probably won’t be much better.”

“Don’t remind me,” he said as he fell back on his pillow hard. 

“Take your Ativan so you can relax.”

“I will when you come back.”

“It could be a while and you need your rest.”

“I’ll be fine,” he said as he yawned.

“I give you 15 minutes,” Izzy laughed as she went to get Hudson.

 

“Fucking mistrial,” Rafael said when Izzy asked about his day.

“I’m sorry.”

“Hopefully I can retry him. So, what’s the plan for Thanksgiving?”

“Well, Mom and Dad are going to visit my aunt and uncle in Rochester…”

“What?”

“Don’t worry. Ma left two pans of stuffing in her refrigerator for me to go pick up.”

“Oh, thank God.”

“You act like I can’t make it.”

“No, I know you can, mi amor. It’s just…”

“Ma’s is better, I get it.”

“You know I think you’re an amazing cook. Look at me. If you couldn’t cook, would I look like this?”

“I think you’re little belly is adorable.”

“That’s what every 41-year-old man wants to hear,” he laughed.

“Let me put it this way then. Once the kids are asleep tonight, you can do me in a very uncomfortable place.”

“Like the back of a Volkswagen?”

“You remember that joke,” she laughed.

“I’m not that old. But are you serious?”

“Maybe. We’ll see how the night goes.”

 

“It’s still funny to see Barba with a baby.”

“We have two other kids, Carisi. They didn’t come out of my wife grown and walking.”

“Yeah but none of us knew you back then.”

“That’s not true,” a familiar voice spoke. “Maria and I used to babysit for him and Izzy all the time.”

“Hey, Nick.”

“Hey, Barba. Thanks for inviting me. This must be your new little guy.”

“This is him. I’m gonna go see if my wife and Rollins need any help. You want to take him, Uncle Nick?”

“Sure.”

“Mi amor?”

“Yeah?”

“You have company.”

“Company? Who?”

“Just come see.”

“Rollins you good for a minute?”

“Yeah, go. I’m not going to go into labor in your kitchen.”

“I hope not. Have you heard from Liv,” she asked her husband as she walked out of the kitchen.

“Yeah, she was getting Noah’s things together. Since he had finally woke up.”

“Okay, good…Nick!”

“Surprise!”

“Come on, give me a hug.”

“You should’ve known I was going to come out here to see this new baby boy. I told your husband I would be out here for Thanksgiving so he invited me to come eat with you guys.”

“I’m glad you’re here. Uh, come talk to me for a second.”

“Um okay?”

 

“So, I did what you asked and talked to Amanda.”

“And?”

“This baby doesn’t belong to you.”

“She’s sure?”

“Yeah. It’s Declan’s.”

“Declan? Murphy?!”

“Shh! She’s in the kitchen. And yes.”

“Let me guess, he’s not around.”

“Hasn’t seen him since she told him. He said he was just a phone call away but he’s back undercover.”

“Damn.”

“I know things were a little awkward the last time you saw each other…”

“Well, I come out here, I had talked to her and she never told me she was pregnant. You can imagine how shocked I was in when I saw her that day in Brooklyn.”

“I know.”

“The least I can do is be her friend. The past is the past, right?”

“Okay. Come on, go take the baby from my husband. I know you’re dying to.”

“Uncle Nick does like babies.”

“You need to have another one.”

“Why? So, I can pay that much more in child support?”

“You might find a decent woman if you get rid of this fucking beard. California changed you that much already? You look like a drug dealer.”


	78. Chapter 78

“What are you two doing?” Izzy asked, finding Rafael and Nick in his home office after everyone had left. They were laughing about something but Izzy had no interest in finding out. 

“Just having a few drinks,” Rafael answered.

“Didn’t you guys have enough earlier?”

“What’s a few more?”

“Cut to Nick passed out on our couch.”

“Just like old times,” Nick laughed.

“We should take a trip to the west coast sometime, mi amor.”

“You’re kidding, right, Barba? Miss New York go to California?”

“Shut it, Amaro. I’ve been outside of New York. I lived in Cambridge for 7 years.”

“And you didn’t become a Red Sox fan?”

“Don’t even joke about something like that.”

“The first time I took her to Boston, we walked by Fenway and I had to make her walk on the outside of me so she wouldn’t spit on it.”

“Well, I’d love to stay and drink the rest of this scotch but I need to get back to my mom’s.”

“How long are you gonna be here, Amaro?”

“A few days, Izzy. I’ll be back around before I leave.”

“Just call us.”

“I will. Now I think on my way home, I’m gonna stop at this bodega close to my mom’s for my annual psychoanalysis. AH, you thought I forgot about that. Didn’t you, Barba?”

“You pissed me off,” he shrugged.

 

“I am really liking you being home with me,” Izzy said when she found Rafael cooking breakfast.

“You are, huh?”

“Definitely. I don’t get to see this very often.”

“I cook breakfast all the time, mi amor.”

“Yeah but seeing you in your pajamas, hair a mess, glasses on, and I am really loving you not shaving.”

“Really?”

“Really. I wish you’d keep it.”

“You did seem to enjoy it last night.”

“It felt amazing against my legs.”

“That might be reason enough, then,” he smiled as he sat down the wooden spoon he had been using and took her in his arms.

“EW!!”

“Good morning to you, Emersyn.”

“I’m just getting some juice and you can go back to…ugh kissing. Gross!”

“Do us a favor and check on your brothers, please.”

“Okay, Papi.”

“Babe you have the monitor.”

“I know but that’ll keep her busy for a minute. Now, where was I?”

 

“Mami!”

“What is it, Jackson?”

“Hudson…he just smiled at me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he was fussing so I went over to his swing and talked to him, he stopped and smiled at me.”

“Is he still okay?”

“Yeah. Papi’s got him him now.”

“Not so bad being a big brother, huh?”

“I guess not,” he shrugged. “You think Papi will let me hold him?”

“I don’t see why not. You better hurry though. The two of you are going to see ‘The Force Awakens’.”

“Papi said you like Star Wars, too.”

“Yeah but I can see it another time. You and Papi will have fun.”

“I know. We always do.”

 

“Okay, don’t let him eat too much junk.”

“Te preocupas demasiado, mi amor (you worry too much).”

“No lo quiero enfermo (I don't want him sick).”

“Lo sé, pero no puedes ir al cine sin comer comida chatarra. Yo no hago las reglas (I know but you can't go to the movies without eating junk food. I don't make the rules).”

“Sólo vete de aquí. Que te diviertas. No me digas lo que pasa (Just get out of here. Have fun. Do not tell me what happens).”

“¿Qué vas a hacer mientras no estemos (What are you going to do while we're gone)?”

“Ve a ver a Amanda y al bebé (Go see Amanda and the baby).”

“Okay, I’m ready.”

“Where’s your scarf, Jackson.”

“Oh, oops! I’ll be back.”

“You know when you speak Spanish, it really turns me on.”

“Well, remind me of that tonight, Counselor.”

“You’re in for it tonight.”

“Is that a promise?”


	79. Chapter 79

The baby had kept them up most of the night that they had planned to finally have sex since Izzy had been given the all clear by the doctor and other things kept getting in the way. “Are we ever going to have sex again?” 

“Yes, Rafael,” Izzy laughed as they got ready for their first day back at work.

“I’m not so sure. I’ve masturbated more in the last few weeks than I have the entire 20 years we’ve been together.”

“We almost had sex on New Year’s Eve.”

“Almost,” he scoffed. 

“It’s going to get better. Hudson is just a little more difficult than Emersyn and Jackson were but…”

“Yeah, I know. I swear though, it’s like he can sense when I touch you and it’s all over. You go take care of him while I get in the shower and that’s our night. We’ve turned into that couple.”

“No, we haven’t. And why do you think you have to get in shower to masturbate?”

“I’m a little old for a sock, don’t you think?”

“You could use a towel.”

He just shot her a look as if to say, “Are you kidding me?” She just finished his tie and gave him a quick peck on his lips.

 

“Welcome back, you two.”

“Thanks, Liv.”

“How’s the baby?”

“Not sleeping at night. Pretty much nothing has changed.”

“He’ll get better, Barba.”

“Okay, no one has said anything so you know I got to.”

“What is it, Fin?”

“How you two gonna name your son after the university that we deal with…”

“We didn’t think about that. Actually, I’ve thought about this though. When she was going down the list of names she had complied, my wife came to Finn, which I said no.”

“Aw, what the hell? You couldn’t name him after me but you just asked me to be his godfather?”

“Let me finish. That name was on the list because of that guy on ‘Glee’, that’s why I said no. She was quick enough to sneak in his last name, ‘Hudson’, before I had the chance to put two and two together. Me! She actually tricked me.”

“I did not. Stop being so dramatic.”

“I still like the name. I just found it funny that he shares the name with the school that is the bane of our existence.”

“I gotta get to my office. I’ll see you later.”

“Um, okay.” No kiss, no I love you, he just left.

“Everything okay with you guys?”

“Huh? Yeah, Carisi. Just life with an infant.”

 

“Okay, so Erin and Dawson are on their way here.”

“Liv, Amanda and I can go to Green Haven.”

“Last resort, Izz. Yates gets in both of your heads in different ways.”

“Okay.”

“Plus, he could just be screwing with us.”

“He did give us Rudnick.”

“But you know he gets off on pulling everyone’s strings.”

“Erin still has a lot of guilt over Nadia. I don’t know if sending her and Antonio up there is the best idea.”

“I know she’s your best friend and…”

“Liv do you have any idea how she spiraled?”

“Voight didn’t give me specifics.”

“It was bad. Halstead found her coming out of a nightclub at 7 in the morning, high on X, drunk.”

“I’m not giving into him yet. Let’s see what he’ll tell them and I’ll go from there.”

“Okay.”

 

“Izzy, you shouldn’t have,” Carmen said as Izzy set a red velvet cupcake on her desk.

“You deal with my husband every day, you’re the reason I get flowers on my anniversary, Valentine’s Day, and my birthday.”

“He always remembers.”

“I know he does. After 20 years, it should be burnt into his brain. Is he busy?”

“No. Go right on in.”

“Hey.”

“Hey,” he said without looking up from a file. Things were a little awkward as she sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. “Did you need something?”

“I just wanted to come and see you. I wasn’t doing anything else.”

“And you could fit me in? Gee, thanks.”

“Rafa.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“What are we doing, cariño?” He asked as he came from behind his desk and bent down in front of his wife.

“You tell me.”

“I know I’ve been short with you lately and my mind has been too focused on sex or lack thereof. I love you, I love our kids, I love everything about our entire history together, good and bad. I just love that, too. I miss it.”

“I know. I do, too,” she smiled. “These new windows have made it so much harder for us to have sex in here. I mean Carmen would know if you shut all of the blinds.”

“Why don’t we see if your parents can take the kids for just one night this weekend?”

“I don’t know. Hudson is only 2 months old.”

“You don’t think they can handle him? You have plenty of milk in the freezer to send with him.”

“Okay, I’ll call my mom.”

“I see you brought Carmen a treat and not me?”

“I didn’t think you deserved one.”

“I’ll get mine this weekend.”

 

“Detectives Rollins & Rossetti come to visit Yates, and he escapes. Any particular reason why you've come up here instead of them?”

“My detectives did not help Yates break out of prison,” Liv told the warden of Green Haven.

“They fought to get him transferred to the Honor Block.”

“Because they know him better than anyone else. It was the only way we could get him to cooperate.”

Liv, Barba, and Sergeant Mike Dodds went up to Green Haven after Rollins and Izzy had went up the day before since Erin and Antonio couldn’t get him to talk.

“When was the last time that Yates and Rudnick were seen?” Rafael asked. He clearly exasperated at the situation. He didn’t want to go anyways but Liv had roped him into it. When the drones came and the prison went to lock down, they were stuck for hours. It really aggravated him that he couldn’t have his phone, knowing he was missing calls or texts from his wife and office. If nothing else, he could’ve at least killed time trying to get to level 325 on Candy Crush. He fought Izzy downloading it to his phone but it could be a good way to pass the time when needed. 

“6:00 a.m. head count.”

“Great, so they have a nine-hour head start, which means they could be anywhere,” he said with an eyeroll very similar to the one he had given Dodds earlier when he mentioned his dad to the warden.

“You say Rollins & Rossetti understand him better than anybody else? Get them up here.”

Liv called them and told them to get to Green Haven with Fin and Carisi and to stop at JFK to pick Erin and Dawson back up.

 

“You’re not going to Chicago this time, are you?”

“No, Rafa. Fin and Liv are going. I’ve been the last two times.”

“Well, I have to say I’m glad. I know she’s your best friend but Erin is taking this too personally. Dodds got shot because of her recklessness. That could’ve been you if you hadn’t stayed with Dawson.”

“She’s on a mission.”

“I just hope Jay and Voight can keep her from doing something stupid.”

“You and me both.”

“Mami has Hudson and Emmie and Jack are in Brooklyn. How about I run you a bath so you can relax?”

“That would be nice.”

“I’ll call you when it’s ready, mi amor.”

About 15 minutes later, he came and got her from the living room. “Rafa…what’s all this?” She asked as she noticed the candles, rose petals in the bath water, soft music playing.

“Just a little idea I had. Get in and relax.”

“You’re not going to join me?”

“Only if you want me to.”

“Of course.”

She laid back against his chest, their breathing was in sync within a matter of minutes. He started kissing her neck while his hands roamed her body. She wrapped her arms around his neck, their lips meeting each others. The kisses were soft at first, considering the position they were in. She finally turned around and sat in his lap. The kisses became more hungry as their tongues fought for dominance. He took his thumb and slowly started rubbing her clit in small circles causing her to shudder at his touch. Even though they were in water, he could still feel that she was wet, begging for more. Without a word, she positioned herself to slide onto his cock. He moaned loudly as they connected for the first time in two months. The water splashed around them as she rode him in their huge tub, bringing them both to orgasms that they both wanted, needed, and more importantly craved. He held her tightly as they came down, burying his face in her neck. He finally pulled back to reveal tears in the corners of his eyes, which caused her to do the same.

“Are you okay, Rafa?”

“I’m perfect, mi amor. I just…I needed you. I needed to feel close to you again.”

“I know. Me, too, love. Me too.”


	80. Chapter 80

“Thank you so much for coming over, Izz.”

“It’s no problem, Amanda.”

“With my mom and I not really on speaking terms, I just didn’t want to call her for parenting advice.”

“It’s totally fine, really. I’m glad to help out.”

“I hated calling you, when you have one about the same age at home…”

“Amanda it’s fine,” Izzy laughed. “Rafael knows what he’s doing. He can feed and bathe Hudson without me standing over him. So other than that, how are you enjoying motherhood?”

“A lot more than I thought I would, actually. I can’t believe I almost…”

“Almost what?”

“Nothing. Nevermind.”

“You can tell me, Rollins.”

“I really considered an abortion. I hate myself for it but I just…I didn’t know what to do when I found out.”

“Sometimes, that’s the best option.”

“If I was home in Georgia, I wouldn’t have an option really. Not with my mother around.”

“We’ve all been there. Trust me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Have you had one?”

Izzy hadn’t talked about it since it happened. Erin didn’t even know. “Yeah, I have actually.”

“Does Barba know?”

“He paid for it, actually.”

“Are you serious?”

“I was a sophomore in college and he was a senior.”

“Oh my god, Izzy, I didn’t mean to push.”

“No, it’s fine. We were stupid one night. I had been on the pill since I was 16 but I guess after so long it stopped working so it was changed. We got stupid drunk one night, didn’t use a condom and my birth control hadn’t quite taken effect. 5 weeks later, no period.”

“Did he freak out?”

“Surprisingly no. He was very calm. He left it up to me. He said we would be by my side no matter what I decided. He took extra shifts at the library and the bookstore to pay for it. I had the money but he wasn’t hearing it.”

“Do you ever regret it?”

“I’ve never been sure how I feel about it, really.”

 

After Izzy left Amanda’s, she decided to walk as far as she could before catching a cab back home. She thought about that spring in 1997 when she found out she was pregnant. Rafael just held her as she cried at the results of the two home tests she had taken. He was so good to her throughout the whole ordeal. He paid for the procedure, took her to her appointment, and took care of her afterwards. They knew at 20 and 22 they were nowhere near ready to be parents. She never told anyone. Erin thought she was sick and that’s why Rafael was staying in their dorm for the 3 days he did. They would lay in bed, just holding each other while they cried. They were both very liberal but it still hurt.

 

“Mi amor?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You’ve seemed a little distracted the last few days.”

“Just a lot on my mind with Hudson’s baptism coming up and everything.”

“You know you can’t lie to me.”

“Amanda told me something the other night. It’s just been on my mind.”

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah. She just told me that she had considered getting an abortion when she found out she was pregnant with Jesse.”

“And it made you think of the one you had in college.”

“Yeah. I just, you know, I never even told Erin. I’ve never told anybody except Amanda now.”

“And?”

“She asked if I regretted it.”

“What did you say?”

“I honestly didn’t know how to answer. I’ve never thought about I felt about it.”

“Do you have any regrets?”

“Do you?”

“I asked you first, cariño.”

“I really don’t know. Be honest with me.”

“You want honesty? Okay,” he said softly as he sat up in their bed and took her hand. “I don’t regret it.”

“No?”

“No. It was the right decision at the time. We were kids. We had no business with a baby. I mean we were stupid to get pregnant to begin with. That wasn’t just you, though, that was me, too. You know, I’ve thought about it from time to time and wonder if we did the right thing.”

“And?”

“I was always come to the same answer. You would’ve more than likely had to drop out of school. I wouldn’t have been able to handle law school with a wife and a baby. We wouldn’t be where we are today. The two of us make 6 figures each, we have a beautiful apartment, and 3 wonderful kids. We love our jobs, we’re happy. We are, right?”

“Of course, Rafa.”

“And honestly I don’t think we’d be together now if we would’ve kept that baby.”

“Really?”

“We would’ve given up so much and would’ve probably ended up resenting and hating each other. I’d see the kid on the weekends, maybe. We wouldn’t have our family, we wouldn’t have us. That just wasn’t the baby we were meant to have. Emersyn was meant to be our first one.”

“When it took us so long to get pregnant with her, I thought it was some sort of karmic retribution for the abortion.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me that?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, “I guess I thought it was stupid.”

“No, mi amor. It wasn’t stupid. I just think everything happens for a reason. Think about how much stronger it made us as a couple. We got through that and here we are, 20-years later.”

“You’re right. I never thought about in the perspective you have, I guess.” 

“When I say I wouldn’t change anything about our story, I mean it. The good, the bad, and the ugly.”

“The ugly?”

“Like when you were pregnant with Emmie and threw a coffee mug at my head?”

“I forgot about that,” she laughed.

“I haven’t. That could’ve hurt. Then you cried afterwards.”

“My hormones were all over the place near the end.”

“I love you so much more today than I did back then. My love grows stronger every single day I wake up with you. I can’t imagine my life without you and I’m so glad I don’t have to.”

“Me, too, Rafa. You are the most wonderful husband and father.”

“I do what I can,” he said as he bent down and kissed her. “I love you, mi reina.”

“I love you, too. Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“Make love to me?”

“Of course, mi amor. You don’t even have to ask,” he said with a smile as he started to turn off his lamp.

“Leave it on.”

“Si, cariño.”


	81. Chapter 81

“Oh god. Oh fuck. I’m gonna…I’m right…ugh fuck!!” Rafael moaned as he came after he had woken his wife up at 2 am for sex. With three kids, they had to do it whenever they could get the chance.

“Mami?” Jackson asked as he opened the door to his parent’s room.

Rafael quickly rolled away from his wife as they pulled the covers back over them.

“What is it, Jack?”

“Are you guys still fighting?”

“What do you mean?”

“I could hear you guys yelling down the hall.”

“Mami and I weren’t…we’re fine, Jack. Mami was having a bad dream.”

“Yeah, that’s all it was. A bad dream. Go back to sleep, baby. You’ve still got a couple of hours.”

“Okay,” he said as he walked back out and closed the door.

“And I thought that time your mom almost caught you giving me head was close.”

“Rafa!”

“I’m just saying.” 

“You were the one that woke me up with a hard on.”

“If you only knew what I was dreaming about, mi amor.”

 

“I need to know the truth, Elizabeth!”

“And I’m telling you the truth, Rafael! I didn’t know Liv was involved with Tucker!”

“If I find out you’re lying to me, so help me god!”

“What?! What would you do?!”

“I’ll have to report that, too!”

Carmen had never heard Rafael and Izzy argue like they were that day in his office.

“I told you I didn’t know! None of us did!”

“Fine! Like I said…”

“You don’t think I would’ve told you?!”

“I don’t know! Would you have?”

“How much shit have I ever kept from you?”

“Okay, okay. If you say you didn’t know, I’ll believe you.”

“I really didn’t.”

“I just don’t need anything coming between us like this. If you knew, I’d have to tell it and I can’t stand the thought of betraying you, so to speak. You’d never do that to me.”

“No, I wouldn’t. I really didn’t know. I knew that he’d been around more but I just figured that he was sniffing around, waiting on one of us to fuck up.”

“I’m sorry I yelled.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“No, it wasn’t. I shouldn’t be treating you like a suspect. Hey, look at me. I’m really sorry.”

“Babe you are doing your job. You really think I’m going to be that upset with you?”

“You should be.”

“No, I shouldn’t.”

“Yes, you should. I know you wouldn’t keep anything from me. You like to gossip too much.”

“Rafa!”

“You know you do.”

“Well, you know this would’ve been hot gossip. So, how bad is this going to be?”

“I don’t know. I had to inform that Liv is involved with someone I’m investigating.”

“Seriously though, I don’t see Tucker being involved in a sex trafficking ring.”

“I want to believe you and I’d like to believe Liv. I have to do my job.”

“I know, love.”

 

Dodds was put in charge of SVU while Liv was transferred to Community Affairs. Izzy had been partnered with the new Sergeant but for the most part they got along.

“As of now, you're not bloodied up. Quit while you're ahead,” Mike’s father, Chief William Dodds told him and Izzy.

“What, you mean stand down? The monsignor's the one who was running this ring,” Mike said with a hint of defiance.

“He had his own priest put a hit out on Sister Nina,” Izzy countered.

“The one from West Africa? They'll claim he was a rogue thug.”

“All right, what happens to the Vice detectives?”

“No judge, cop, or ADA's going to jail for seeing a hooker, Mike They'll plead out. Now, Father Eugene, the Church will send him to some sanatorium on the Isle of Skye to work on his anxiety issues.”

“And Tucker?” Izzy asked.

“Collateral damage.”

“You do know he's clean,” Mike huffed.

He went to see his cousin, by himself, and told him the name of the girl who was cooperating. She'd be alive if he weren't so stupid.”

“This is some fucking bullshit,” Izzy told Mike as they left 1PP.

“Trust me, I know. Your husband wants to keep going with this, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then that’s what we’re gonna do. I don’t care if it’s just you and me.”

“Wow. Really?”

“I’m not a daddy’s boy.”

“No, I got that with that video of Bobby D’Amico and Noel Panko trying to rape Amanda.”

“You know that was me?”

“Who else was it? My husband didn’t leak it, you know Buchanan didn’t leak it. It was untraceable. I’m not stupid, Dodds.”

“I underestimated you, Barba.”

“No one has ever called me by married name before.”

“My bad.”

“Naw, it’s cool. I like it.”

 

“Okay, so my boy has to wear a dress for the christening?”

“It’s a gown, Fin and yes. Boys and girls wear them when they are first baptized in the Catholic Church. Don’t ask me why.”

“Okay. So, it’s me and Amanda, huh?”

“Yep and once this is over, you guys will sign legal documents that state if something happens to us you guys will split custody of Hudson.”

“That’s alright, shorty. I will take my role as godfather seriously.”

“You better be there, too, Sergeant.”

“I definitely will be, partner.”

“Why don’t you just make him Godfather?” Carisi scoffed as he got up from his desk and headed to the breakroom. Izzy followed, sensing something was bothering her former partner.

“Carisi?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Dammit! All this money on renovations yet you still can’t get shit to drop when you pay for it,” he said as he kicked the vending machine.

“Sonny. Come on. We were partners for how long?”

“And I planned the gender reveal for you guys, you came to me when you first started thinking about a home birth, and you chose Fin…”

“Is that why you’ve been short with me lately? Cause we didn’t pick you to be Hudson’s godfather?”

“I just thought…”

“Hey, Sonny, listen. I’ve known Fin forever. Sine before I transferred over here. It was nothing personal at all.”

“Nick is Emersyn’s godfather; your brother is Jackson’s. I just thought maybe I might factor in somewhere.”

 

The day of Hudson’s christening came. The squad, Lucia, Anthony, Stella, Tony, Erin, and Halstead arrived at the church in Bensonhurst that Izzy was raised in and where Emersyn and Jackson has also been baptized. Chief Dodds even showed up. Fin and Amanda stood beside Izzy and Rafael as they prepared for Hudson to go through the ritual they had both been through as babies. “Wait. I’m sorry, Father. Can you just give me a minute?” Izzy asked. The priest that she had grown up with, Father John nodded his head with a smile as Izzy walked away from the altar. She went down and grabbed Carisi.

“Izz…”

“Come on, Carisi. Hudson can have two godfathers.”

“Are you sure?”

“Will you just get up there?”

“Is Barba okay with this?”

“Come on, Carisi! We don’t have all day!” Rafael laughed.

Carisi quickly made his way next to Fin and Hudson was finally baptized into the Catholic Church.


	82. Chapter 82

“You’re really going to JTTF, Dodds?”

“It’s a step up, Izz.”

“You can get yourself killed. You don’t have to do everything according to your father.”

Mike knew she was right but it was still hard for him to say no to the Chief.

“You could do it, you know?”

“Do what?”

“Take the Sergeant’s exam, take my spot.”

“Liv has already been on me and Fin to decide who’s taking it,” Izzy said as she rolled her eyes. “I have a feeling it’s going to come down to rock, paper, scissors.”

“You’ve been a cop longer than me.”

“And I’ll be 40 this year.”

“And?”

“Just eat your damn sandwich, Michael.”

“So, how’s Barba taking it that my dad and his mom are seeing each other?”

“Uh, okay, I suppose. I mean he thinks she was the right to be happy just like anyone else. When’s Alice moving out here?”

“In a few weeks.”

“You getting nervous?”

“A little but I’m excited.”

“Liv needs us back at the office,” Izzy said looking at her phone.

“Here, I got this.”

“I got it, Sergeant. I invited you,” she said throwing some money on their table as they got up to leave. “Damn, I almost forgot my pickle.”

Mike laughed as Izzy walked out of the restaurant with the pickled sticking halfway out of her mouth as she put her jacket on. “You’ve certainly made my time at SVU interesting.”

“I do what I can.”

 

“Nothing ever sticks at Rikers. That CO union has more power than any place I've ever seen,” Rafael told the squad as they stood in his office after Fin’s son Ken had told them about one his clients being raped by a guard at Rikers. “Putting that aside, these cases are never easy. Your complainant has 12 arrests?”

“Misdemeanors: drugs, prostitution. Ken says she's turning it around.”

“This guy covers his tracks. There's no DNA, no witnesses, vulnerable victims,” Mike added.

“Look, we really caught a break when Charisse called Ken.”

“Did we, Liv? It's still the word of a corrections officer versus a black single mother with a drug problem and a prison record.”

“All right, if he's raping her on the street, how many is he raping on the inside? Is there any value in having DOI look at him?”

“Don't, Izz. Rikers is where investigations go to die. Violence, rape, assaults, hundreds of allegations, almost no prosecutions.”

“Are you saying just walk away?”

“Dodds, that’s…”

“If a CO is having sex with an inmate, forced or not, that's rape,” Liv interrupted.

“It is, but Rikers, it's like "The Lord of the Flies" there. If anyone finds out we're investigating him, Munson gets tipped off, and his vics pay.”

“So, we're not investigating him. We need the guards' help. We're investigating a trafficking ring with ties to gang members who were involved with female inmates. It’s believable. We are SVU.”

“I like your wife’s idea,” Liv said.

“All right, yeah. Put up a good front. Pick another dozen women who have rotated through Charisse's unit with similar records.”

 

“Mike, Jackson can sleep with us. It’s no big deal.”

“No, Izzy. I’ll be fine on the couch.”

“I can handle this. I don’t know why Liv thinks we need a bodyguard.”

“Somebody threatened to kill your husband. Sure, it could’ve just been talk but we can’t be too sure with all this going on so Liv’s not taking any chances.”

“I get it. I can’t believe that fool gave that guy our address,” Izzy said as she rolled her eyes. “I should kill him myself. His mouth still gets him in trouble. Your dad…”

“Took Lucia to his place. She’s safe.”

“Okay.”

“All of you guys are going to be safe, especially while I’m still here.”

“You’ve been a pretty good partner, Dodds. I’m actually gonna miss you.”

“You’re probably the only one.”

“You grew on everybody in different ways.”

 

Gary Munson’s wife had called Olivia for help to get her kids out of the house safely after he made bail. Mike went with her while Carisi and Amanda went to Barba’s office and Fin and Izzy stayed at the precinct. “So which one of us is going to take that exam?”

“I’m going to say you, Fin.”

“Why me?”

“You’ve been here the longest.”

“So? That means I’m older than you and more out of shape. You work out three days a week meaning you can still chase people down.”

“I’m not doing it, Fin. Not yet. Shit, we gotta go.”

“What’s going on?”

“Liv just text me. Munson has his wife and Mike held up in his house.”

“What?”

“Yeah, uh, he let Liv get the kids out of the house and locked the door behind them,” she said as she read the text.

“Get the car. I’ll call Rollins and tell them to meet us over there.”

 

Dodds was shot while trying to disarm and 6’7 Munson. Luckily it wasn’t life threatening. It barely missed the artery and got his liver, very similar to Nick’s injury the year before. “Sorry, partner. I can’t be your bodyguard for a few weeks,” he chuckled. “Ow. Wrong move.”

“Get some rest, hero. I can protect my husband.”

“Hey, did you call Alice?”

“Yeah, she’ll be here in a few hours.”

“Thanks.”

“Chief take care of him, would ya?”

“I’m gonna stay until Alice gets here then I’m going to take Lucy for a nice quiet dinner.”

“Lucy, huh?”

“Good-bye, Detective,” William chuckled.

“Hey, facial recognition unit got a hit on the guy that threatened Barba,” Amanda was telling Liv as Izzy walked up.

“Please tell me he's not a CO.”

“No, it's Felipe Heredio. He's a lieutenant in BX9.”

“We put his brother away a couple of years ago for gang rape,” Izzy remembered.

“It's almost dawn, he'll be home. Start knocking down doors, and please wear your vests. Not you, Rossetti.”

“I’m going, Liv. Don’t try to stop me. This man threatened my husband.”

“Which is exactly why…”

“I’m going. Either give me permission or I disobey a direct order and face disciplinary action. A lot of needless paperwork that would be.”

“Ugh, fine. The three of you keep her covered at all times.”

“Go it, Lieutenant,” Fin replied.

 

“He looks smaller in there,” Rafael said as he was making an ID on Heredio after they brought him in. “I see my wife left a nice bruise on his face,” he scoffed.

“We all saw it. He really thought he was going to get her down. She took that gun out, the butt connected with his cheek, and that was it,” Carisi laughed. “How she feeling?”

“Sore but fine. A few cuts and bruises but Heredio looks worse.”

“Pretty awesome to have a wife like that, huh?”

“It really is, Carisi. So, you still want to be an ADA? I hear there’s an opening in Brooklyn.”

“I think I’m gonna stay here a while. We’re gonna be down a man with Dodds leaving still.”

“I get it. Well, I’m gonna go home and check on my wife.”

“Tell her to hurry up and get back to work.”

“It’s only been a day, Carisi.”

“Yeah but a day without her ‘words of wisdom’ is like a day without sunshine.”

“I’ll tell her you said that.”


	83. Chapter 83

“How long is the Lieutenant going to be on vacation?”

“Two weeks, Carisi. Why having me and Fin in charge making you nervous?”

“Nah. If have any problems out of you, I’ll just call the counselor.”

“Yeah, that’ll work,” Izzy laughed.

“Have you talked to Mike?”

“Uh, yeah. I saw him Sunday actually.”

“So, guys hanging out now?”

“No, Rollins. His dad and my mother in law invited us to dinner.”

“Really? Is Barba getting a new Daddy?”

“Don’t let him hear you say that, Carisi.”

“Too late,” Barba said as walked up. “Your own business, mind that shit, Carisi.”

“OOHHHHH,” Rollins and Izzy laughed.

“What? I was just saying…”

“I hope you’re not allergic to nuts cause it looks like Barba’s about to kick yours up into your throat,” Fin laughed.

“You got time for a quick lunch, mi amor?”

“Uh, sure. These three can hold everything down while I’m gone. You okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said as he took her hand and walked them to the elevator. “What do you feel like eating?”

“I’m good with whatever.”

 

“What are we going to do with the kids?”

“Your mom and mine said they’d keep them for us.”

“Hudson is only 6 months old.”

“You honestly think we couldn’t use a vacation just us?”

“A week in St. Lucia?”

“The kids will be fine. Come on. You and me, a suite with a private pool, no work. We can do whatever we want without having to be quiet,” he said as he leaned over and started kissing her neck.

“Babe it’s the middle of the day.”

“Say yes and I’ll stop.”

“Ugh, fine,” she said as his lips on her neck made her eyes roll back in her head. “When are you planning on booking this?”

“Maybe I already did,” he said with that smirk. 

“And when do we leave?”

“3 days after Liv gets back.”

“That gives me two weeks to go shopping.”

“For what?”

“I need a new bathing suit.”

“You think you’re going to need one?”

“We will be going to the beach I’m sure.”

“I think you might change your mind once you see the room.”

 

“Do you think there’s enough milk…”

“You have been stockpiling since he was born,” Rafael laughed as he pulled out their freezer drawer to show is his wife all the milk that was frozen. “Besides, Hudson is drinking juice now, eating baby food. He doesn’t need milk all the time. I’m sure there will still be plenty left when we get back.”

“You did tell them we needed a freezer…”

“Yes. We have a fully functional kitchen, mi amor.”

“And you packed enough batteries…”

“Yes, and I got an adapter for your pump as well. Everything is taken care of, I promise. You’ve always been such a worrier, I swear.”

“I can’t help it. I can’t not pump while we’re gone and I’m not going to waste it, either.”

“You remember that time I got you out of class and we went to Boston for the day?”

“Yeah?”

“You worried so much then. You wouldn’t stop asking me questions,” he laughed. 

“Sorry. I just wanted to know what the hell you had planned.”

“Didn’t I show you day, almost 21 years ago that you could trust me?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, now trust that I have everything taken care of. We are going on vacation and we are going to have a good time, just us. For the next week, I am not a lawyer and you are not a cop. We are just husband and wife taking a much needed trip.”

 

“What do you want to first, mi amor?”

“Call and check on the kids?”

“Dios mío, ¿hablas en serio con esto ahora mismo (dear god, are you serious with this right now)?”

“Yes, and I need to tell my parents that we made it anyways.”

“Ugh, fine. Almost 40-years-old and still has to check in with her parents,” he sarcastically muttered.

“I heard that!”

He just kind of laughed as she made her phone call.

“So, are they still alive?”

“Make fun all you want.”

“I wasn’t making fun. I know you’re just worried about them. How about a drink?”

“Sure,” she said as she took the glass of scotch from his hand.

“You can check on them as much as you want, just don’t let it get in the way of you relaxing.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“Good, now why don’t you get this skirt and tank top off and join me in the pool?”

“What about dinner?”

“We can have it in the room,” he said as he kissed the back of her neck.

“Well, then I guess I can’t say no to an evening swim. I didn’t think we were going to have as much privacy as we do.”

“I told you. Now let’s go.”

They got in the pool and he immediately put her in his lap and started kissing her neck. “Do you remember the last time we did something like this?”

“My 2nd year of law school?”

“No, mi amor. It was your last year of law school.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I had come to visit you right before you graduated. I think it was the week no two weeks before. We had a few drinks and went down to the pool, even though it was supposed to be closed at midnight. You had blue bikini that had sequins all over the top. I ended up taking that off…then your bottoms. You were so hot…tight,” he whispered while placing tiny bites along her neck, causing chills all over her body. “I teased you…”

“Kind of like you’re doing now?”

“Exactly like it. And then I finally gave you what you were wanting,” he said as he pushed his cock into her. 

“Fuck!” She cried out as he filled her with his entire 8 ½ inches. He held her by her ass as they found their rhythm in the water.

“Still so hot and tight, cariño,” he growled as he moved her against him. Neither of them could hold out much longer. “You like Papi’s cock so deep inside of you?”

“Si, Papi,” she moaned. “Just like that.”

He felt her tighten around his dick as she grabbed his neck and pulled him into hers. He moaned her name against her neck as he spilled his load into her. “Still so wonderful. You ready for dinner?”

“Is that all you think about is food and sex?” She laughed.

“And coffee.”

"You're an ass," she said as she wrapped a towel around her body.

"You know I was talking about the last time we did something like this?"

"Yeah."

"I came this close to asking you to marry me that weekend."

"Did you really?"

"I had the ring in my suitcase."

"So, why didn't you?"

"You said we'd discuss marriage when you finished law school so I waited until you did."

"I bet it drove you crazy," she laughed as she put her arms around his neck once they walked back into their room.

"It really did. I just wanted to put this ring on your finger so bad. I think it's about time for a new one. This one is 14-years-old."

"I love this one."

"Well, then what should I do with this one?" He asked as he pulled a small box out of his suitcase. It was pretty much the same ring, only a lot bigger. 

"Raf..."

"Give me this old ring. It was 14-years-ago today that I slipped this ring on your finger while you slept. After almost 21-years together, 3 kids, and everything else we've weathered over the years, I think you deserved an upgrade."


	84. Chapter 84

“This is so unfair!!”

“Yeah, well life isn’t fair, so get used to it, Emersyn!” Rafael heard as he walked in from work.

“I’ll just talk to Papi about it!”

“Go right ahead! He’ll tell you the same thing!”

“Whoa! What’s going on?”

“Here he is, Emersyn. Go ahead, talk to him.”

“Talk to me about what?”

“Hayden and Macie got the iPhone 7.”

“And?”

“MY phone is obsolete now.”

“Again, AND?”

“Why can’t I have a new one?”

“I’m sorry, what? Is there something wrong with your 6S that you just got for Christmas?”

“Well, not really.”

“So, you think because your friends got the newest iPhone, you should have it, too even though your phone is in perfectly good shape? Mami and I don’t even have the newest model.”

“But…”

“No buts. When that phone is paid for then you MIGHT can have another one. Might being the operative word due to this lovely attitude you’ve had recently.”

“This…”

“Is so unfair. I know,” he mocked his daughter. “Your life is just so terrible. Do you hear your brother complaining about his phone?”

“No,” Emersyn said as she crossed her arms.

“You know why? Maybe because he’s just thankful to have one.”

“I don’t have to keep up with my friends. I have friends that still have 5’s.”

“Okay, thank you, Jack. Go to your room.”

“Sorry, Mami.”

“But that’s just my point. You are so ungrateful that you can’t be happy with what you have. Do you think I would’ve had anything like you have had it been available when I was your age?”

“No.”

“No is right. Your grandfather’s paychecks went to alcohol. A lot of times if I needed something for school, my grandparents provided for me. You need to think about that the next time you think you just have to have something that you don’t need. ¿Entiendes?”

“Si, Papi.”

“Ahora Dame tu teléfono (Now give me your phone).”

“But…”

“No, dije ahora. Vas a dejar de ser tan desagradecida (No, I said now. You're going to stop being so ungrateful).”

“Mami…”

“Ya oíste a tu padre (You heard your father).”

“También tienes que disculparte con tu madre. Tienes que dejar de hablar con ella como lo haces (You need to apologize to your mother, too. You need to stop talking to her the way you do).”

“I’m sorry, Mami. How long will you have my phone?”

“I’ll see how your attitude is in about 2 weeks. Then I might let you have it back.”

“Fine, Papi.”

“Now go finish your homework before dinner.”

Izzy walked back down the hall to start dinner. Rafael came in the kitchen with Hudson. “Mi amor?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I just don’t remember being that bad when I was 11. I mean I was no picnic but I wasn’t that bad.”

“Honestly, I think a lot of that is my fault. I’ve never been able to say no to her. I’ve created a monster and we’re paying for it.”

“You don’t say.”

“Okay, Miss-I-Got-A-Brand-New-Sports-Car-My-Freshman-Year-Of-College.”

“I didn’t ask my parents for the car. They bought that for me so I wouldn’t have to depend on Tony all the time.”

“You’ve always been Daddy’s Little Princess, though,” he laughed.

“I’m not denying that. I just don’t remember being like that until right before I started…”

“What? Until right before you started what?”

“My period.”

“No. No. No.”

“I was around her age, a Little older but not much.”

“I don’t want to discuss this right now.”

“I’m just saying…”

“Nothing because we’re not discussing it.”

 

“Hey, Carisi, is it okay if Erin and Halstead come to your Halloween party?”

“Sure, Izz. The more the merrier.”

“Good cause I forget they’re coming in that weekend.”

“They know it’s a costume party, right?”

“Yeah. Jay’s pretty excited from what Erin said. That was if they got to come.”

“You should’ve known I’d say yes. So, what’s Barba coming as?”

“Oh, don’t get me started, Carisi. He has vetoed every suggestion I’ve made.”

“Tell him to relax. It’s going to be fun.”

“I’ve tried, Rollins. His idea of relaxing doesn’t include putting on a costume.”

“No, but his idea of foreplay does.”

“He doesn’t dress up, I do. He couldn’t pull off my catholic school girl skirt.”

“Oh, I bet he pulls it off.”

“Shut it, Rollins.”

 

“Ross and Rachel?”

“No.”

“Jim and Pam from ‘The Office’?”

“Nope.”

“Ted Mosby and the mother?”

“What would that entail?”

“We could find you a blue French horn and some red boots.”

“Oh, in that case, absolutely not. I told you I don’t want to look ridiculous.”

“That’s the point of Halloween.”

“Keep going.”

“Baby and Johnny.”

“Uh no.”

“Han Solo and Princess Leia.”

“Princess Leia and the gold bikini?”

“No,” she laughed. “What is with guys our age and Princess Leia in the gold bikini?”

“It was hot!”

“Like I said, no.”

“Oh, well then no on my end.”

 

“Carisi looks ridiculous. Who the hell is he supposed to be?”

“Isn’t it obvious? The pink tutu and the crazy hair? He’s Ace Ventura.”

“Oh, fuck me.”

“Rafa you promised to leave the snark at home.”

“I’m doing my best. I’m gonna take this bat and beat him with it. Are you not cold?”

“I’m fine, Squints,” she teased. 

“You think they’ll believe these glasses are just part of my costume?”

“Why are you so self-conscious about your glasses?”

“Because no one has ever seen me in them but you.”

“And what have I always told you?”

“You think I’m sexy in them,” he said as he rolled his eyes.

“Exactly. Okay, what is up with Fin and Melinda?”

“What do you mean?”

“That didn’t happen on accident. She’s Alice and he’s the Mad Hatter?”

“They’re friends, mi amor.”

“There you guys are. Squints and Wendy Peffercorn. Love it,” Carisi said.

“Erin and Halstead show up yet?”

“You mean Hef and one of his bunnies? Yeah, they were talking to Liv and Tucker, I mean Clark Kent and Lois Lane.”

“We still have real names, Carisi.”

“Somebody needs some scotch,” Carisi laughed.

“Where is it?”

“Right over there,” Carisi said pointing to the bar.

“Thank god. Come on, cariño.”

Rafael finally started to relax after a few drinks. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve get togethers never bothered him but he loathed Halloween. At least Izzy kept him from looking ridiculous like he asked; unlike Amanda who was in a dolphin costume, obviously as Snowflake the dolphin from the first Ace Ventura movie to go with Carisi's costume.


	85. Chapter 85

“I’m home!” Izzy called as she walked in after Rafael had called and told her to he needed her home as soon as possible.

“Thank god, cariño.”

“Is everything okay? You sounded panicked over the phone.”

“Emersyn has locked herself in their bathroom.”

“Okay?”

“Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“OH! Okay. I’ll handle it.”

“Please do. I…just…I can’t. I don’t know anything about that…stuff.”

Izzy knocked on the bathroom door.

“I’m fine, Papi.”

“Emmie, it’s me. Why don’t you unlock the door so we can talk?”

The door unlocked and Izzy walked in slowly. 

“How are you doing?”

“I don’t know. How am I supposed to be doing? I mean I was watching TV and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I get my period and Papi is the only parent at home. Such a wonderful Saturday for me.” 

“Well, I’m sorry about that. We’re having to take turns while Jessica recovers from her knee surgery. I got here as soon as I could.”

“I know. You’ve talked to me about this stuff and bought me stuff to prepare. I just still wasn’t ready.”

“I wasn’t ready for mine either. Nonna tried to prepare me the same way but you can’t prepare enough for this, really.”

“Papi freaked out. I should’ve recorded it,” Emmie laughed.

“I’m sure he did. This, I’m sure is hard for him because you’re his only daughter. You’re growing up and this just makes it that much more real to him. In his mind, much like your Papa’s when it came to me, he things you having sex and all that is just around the corner.”

“Oh, God no. I’m only 11.”

“I know that,” Izzy laughed, “but both of us our ‘daddy’s girls’ and they can’t stand when their baby girls are growing up. You did remember what I taught you about….”

“Yeah. I don’t think I’m ready to use tampons though.”

“Well, I’ll tell ya, kiddo. If you’re gonna play sports, they will be your best friend. But no rush.”

“Okay. Thanks for getting home so soon.”

“Of course. What do you say we take the rest of the day and go spend some of Papi’s money?”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay! Let me get ready.”

 

Izzy went to find Rafael, who was in his home office, staring out the window with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

“A little early to be drinking, isn’t it?”

“It’s just one, mi amor,” he sniffled.

“Rafa…”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” Izzy said as she wiped the tears from his eyes.

“She’s my baby girl. I knew this was going to happen. You’d think I’d be better prepared.”

“Honey, there’s no way to be prepared for this.”

“It seems like yesterday we brought her home to our apartment in Brooklyn after it took us almost a year to get pregnant with her and now…now…”

“Shh. It’s okay,” she told him as she stroked the back of his neck while he buried his face in her hair.

“Okay, I’m fine. I’ve got it out of my system.”

“Are you sure?”

“No,” he said as he teared up again.

“Okay, okay. I got you.” Half of Izzy felt so bad for her husband, the other half thought this was pretty funny but she didn’t laugh.

“Mami I’m ready,” Emersyn said as she walked in.

“What do you girls have planned,” Rafael said as he turned away so he could wipe his eyes.

“I’m going to take her shopping and out to eat. Will you and the boys be okay?”

“Of course, mi amor. Just because there’s no limit on our black Amex doesn’t mean to go overboard,” he said with a small laugh.

“I’ll do my best.”

“Papi?”

“Yeah, Emmie.”

“I love you,” she said as she threw her arms around him. “Thank you for calling Mami for me today.”

“You’re welcome, Princesa. I love you, too. You and Mami have fun.”

 

“Izz check this out. How old are you, little man?” Fin said as he brought Hudson into the kitchen. “Come on, don’t make Uncle Fin look dumb.” Hudson finally held up one finger. “Yeah, that’s right, buddy. Uncle Fin taught you that, didn’t I?” Hudson just nodded his head. “This is my little man right here. Him and Jayden are gonna best friends.”

“Aww, you love Uncle Fin, don’t you, Hudson?”

He just kept nodding. “Not as much as he loves Uncle Nick.”

“Amaro. What’s up, man?”

“I couldn’t miss this little guys first birthday, Fin. Izz how are you,” he said with a hug and kiss on her cheek.

“Happy to see you. It’s been a year.”

“I would’ve been out here sooner. I’ve just been dealing with a lot.”

“Can’t you ever catch a break?”

“It’s actually good stuff, Izz.”

“Really? Like what?”

“I don’t want to say anything just yet until I know for sure. Don’t want to jinx it. As soon as I know for sure, you’ll be one of the first to know.”

“Good. Well, Rafael’s around here somewhere. Along with Liv, Halstead, and Dawson are in from Chicago with Erin. Rollins is here with Jesse. You should see her.”

“She’s sent me pictures. She looks just like Amanda.” 

“She really does. Go mingle.”

“You don’t need any help?”

“Everything is actually ready. I was just making sure the cake was good to go. Come on.”


	86. Chapter 86

Fin and Izzy fought like hell to see who was going to take the Sergeants Exam. Izzy “lost” 3 rounds of rock, paper, scissors leading her to have to take the exam. She passed 22nd out of 3,000 and none of the patrol units needed a new Sergeant so Izzy got to stay right where she was. Fin loved teasing her about it, too. He had no interest in supervising.

“We know he hacked Bennett, okay? Then he blackmailed him. So if he's hacking Barba…” Fin said as the squad was looking into the death of Jennifer Knowles, whose death looked like to be the work of their Pattern 23 rapist.

“You think he's blackmailing my husband too?”

“Barba was getting us a warrant, then all of a sudden he didn't? I'm open for another explanation, but it makes sense to me.”

“What do you think, Liv?” Rollins asked.

“I don't know. I think we need more information.”

“Like this? A uni found a burner cell in the garbage outside of Willard's apartment. Here's the outgoing call list. Okay, you got one call to Bennett's office.”

“We knew that,” Izzy said.

“And then one call to Barba's office.”

“Told you it made sense. Sorry, Izz,” Fin said.

“Who else did he call?” Liv asked.

“There's a bunch of calls to a number in the Bronx. Ashtonja Abreu.”

As soon as Carisi said the name, Izzy felt sick to her stomach. She now realized why Rafael had recused himself from the case. “Uh, Liv?”

“What’s up, Izz?”

“I need to talk to you.”

 

Izzy found Rafael at Forlini’s. “How did you find me?”

“We’ve been together 21 years. I know you.”

“I am so sorry, mi amor,” he said as he took her in his arms.

“I had to tell Liv and recuse myself as well. Willard went after Bennett, then you. I was going to be next.”

“Have we been doing the wrong thing all these years?”

“I don’t know, love. I mean, Marianna was a heroin addict. You needed her to testify. That judge should’ve given you a recess.”

“Still. She bought what she bought and she did what she did. She died 8 hours after testifying for me.”

“I remember.”

“I hate that you got dragged into this.”

“How could I not? I signed checks for her, too.”

“So how bad is this going to be for you?”

“I told Liv and she has to inform Dodds and 1PP. You?”

“I told Jack everything. I don’t know. I have a meeting with him in a few days. I’m so sorry I ever involved you in this,” he said as he broke down in tears.

“Hey, we said for better or worse 14 years ago. Remember?”

“I know but this might not just blow up my career but yours as well.”

“Don’t say that, Rafa.”

 

They didn’t even celebrate Valentine’s Day with everything that was weighing on them.

Izzy walked Rafael to his office the morning of his meeting with McCoy, which coincidentally was the same morning as her meeting with Dodds and the Commissioner. 

“What I did was wrong, but the truth is I'd do it again. Not everything done in the dark is shameful.”

“I know, Rafa.”

“I still hate myself for you being involved. I keep thinking how things could be different if I hadn’t told you what happened.”

“And think about how much worse it could’ve been if I was just now finding out about this? We have always been honest with each other. I don’t regret anything. Even helping Ashtonja and her grandmother.”

“Meet me at Forlini’s once our meetings are over?”

“I’ll be there, my love,” she said with a smile before kissing her husband.

 

Izzy made it to Forlini’s before Raf. She got more and more worried at every 15 minute interval that he didn’t show up.

“Hola, mi amor,” he said as he placed a kiss on her cheek when he finally arrived.

“There you are. So?”

“One month’s suspension, no pay. You?”

“Two weeks, administrative leave, with pay.”

“Love how different the DA’s office is from 1PP,” he scoffed while finishing off the scotch she had barely touched. “I can’t tell you…”

“Rafa stop with the apologies. We both did this.”

“I think we need to go talk to Ashtonja and her grandmother.”

“To tell them we can no longer help out,” Izzy said sadly.

“No. Jack basically said he understood why we helped out but we don’t need a paper trail anymore. We’ll have to give them cash. Might have to so much a week or so much every two weeks.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He told me I had too big of a heart, believe it or not, but he gets it.”

 

“So…how shall we spend our suspensions?” Rafael asked once Jessica got the kids to school and Hudson to daycare.

“You tell me, Counselor.”

“I’m going to clean the kitchen. You make a decision. We can go to the movies or we could make our own.”

“Those dishes aren’t going to clean themselves, Rafa.”

After he cleaned up the dishes from breakfast, Rafael went looking for his wife. She wasn’t in the bedroom, the living room, or the den. He knew she wasn’t in the bathroom so he went up to his home office. There she was with one of his white dress shirts on, one of pink ties around her neck but completely loose, in his chair with her feet propped up on his desk.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked.

“Me? Nothing,” she answered so innocently.

He walked over to her but her black patent Manolo Blahnik Mary Jane’s met his forehead, pushing him down slowly. He went down to his knees. “What do you want, mi amor?” He said softly.

“Put your tongue inside me.”

“But…”

“But what?”

“Nevermind,” he smiled as he realized she wasn’t wearing any panties. He gladly did what she said. His tongue was going in and out of her while his thumb rubbed her clit. She wrapped her legs around his neck as she practically screamed his name. After one orgasm, he stopped and Papi took over. He bent her over his oak desk in his home office. She was so wet, he knew she was begging for him to enter her. “You want Papi to fuck you, putita?”

“Si, Papi. Cógeme duro (Fuck me hard).”

He basically ripped the shirt she was wearing. He didn’t care. He had several white dress shirts to choose from. He took the tie from her neck as he held onto his wife by her neck while he pushed his huge cock inside of her. “You like that, putita?”

“Si, Papi.”

“What about…that?” He said as he smacked her ass hard.

“Goddamn, Papi.”

“What about that?” He said as he smacked the other cheek. He was leaving the biggest red marks on her ass as he fucked her over his desk. She didn’t care. Between that and the bites he was placing all over her neck, she couldn’t help but come. “That’s right, Mami. Come all over this Cuban cock. Show Papi how he makes you feel,” he said before his hips stuttered as he unloaded into his wife. “Fuck,” he said against the back of her neck, “still so fucking tight.”

“You act surprised,” she smirked as she threw her arms behind her and around his neck.

“Not at all, mi amor,” he said as he kissed from her shoulder back to her neck. “I just love it.”


	87. Chapter 87

“You ready to go back to work?”

“Not really,” Izzy laughed. “These past two weeks have been amazing.”

“Thank God I got my vasectomy redone, huh?”

“No kidding.”

“I’m gonna miss you these next two weeks,” Rafael pouted.

“I’m sorry, babe but my bosses are a lot more lenient than yours.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” he scoffed. 

“What do you plan to do today?”

“I don’t know. I might get a haircut.”

“Aww, I like the longer hair.”

“Well maybe not too short then,” he said with a smile. 

“Okay, well I better go if I don’t want to be late.”

“If you’re not too busy later, how about I take you to lunch?”

“Sure. I’ll call or text you. I love you.”

“Yo también te quiero. Mucho más de lo que ni siquiera sabrás (I love you, too. So much more than you'll even know).”

“Si tú lo dices. Adiós guapo (If you say so.).”

 

“If you have reason to believe there are individuals in such organizations that may be guilty of sexual assault, of course you have to investigate it,” Dodds told Liv and Izzy concerning their investigation of HNT’s Barry Coyle for rape. “Just have a damn good reason.”

“I hear you, Chief.”

“I'll leave you two to it.”

“So, happy to be back at work yet, Sergeant?” Liv chuckled.

“After that? Almost makes me miss suspension.”

“How’s Barba handling being home alone?”

“He rearranged his office the other day.”

“So bored would be an understatement?”

“The understatement of the year, actually. I told him if he touches my living room, he’s dead.” 

“When is Nick moving back?”

“After school is out. I can’t believe Maria and Cynthia are letting him have primary custody and moving back out here.”

“Have you talked to Maria?”

“I did. She’s getting remarried and Zara isn’t very happy about it. I think that’s part of the reason why she’s letting her move back with Nick.”

“And he’s taking Munch’s spot as a special investigator for the DA’s office?”

“On the recommendation of an ADA who is currently serving a suspension for misconduct.” 

 

“Sergeant? A word,” Dodds said walking up to Izzy’s desk with Mike and Lucia.

“Sure,” she gave Mike a questioning look who responded with his own as they walked into the conference room. “Do I need to call Raf…”

“He’s on his way,” Lucia said as she took a seat.

Mike and Izzy weren’t sure what to make of this impromptu meeting.

“Okay, I’m here,” Rafael said as he walked in. “What’s so important that I had run the detectives out of my office and come over here?”

“Why don’t the three of you have a seat?” The chief suggested.

“Why do I feel like we’re in trouble?” Mike said.

“Nobody’s in trouble,” Dodds laughed, “The three of you are too old to worry about that stuff. As you guys know, Lucy and I have been seeing each other for about a year now. When you get our age, you don’t want to waste a lot of time when you love someone.”

“Okay, what the hell is he talking about,” Izzy whispered to Mike.

“I have no idea.”

“Are you two serious?” Rafael whispered.

“You know what it is?”

“Will the three of you listen to William?” Lucia scolded.

“Anyways, we were having lunch the other day and we got to talking. So, we went to City Hall about two hours ago…”

“You got married, Mom?”

“Yes, I did, Rafael. Is there a problem?”

“A little heads-up would’ve been nice.”

“If the three of you had been paying attention to William, you would’ve heard him when he said…”

“Oh, I heard him.”

“Did you call Matt, Dad?”

“I text him. You know your brother. He’s in Mexico getting his life together for the 50th time.”

“Okay, so you guys just decided this on a whim?”

“Michael, I know this comes as a shock but I love Lucia and I think she likes me,” Dodds joked.

“Izzy you haven’t said anything,” her mother in law mentioned.

“I’ve been enjoying watching these two with their questions.”

“Oh, you have an opinion. I know my wife too well.”

Izzy felt like she was in the hot seat with both Mike and Rafael waiting on her. “I say…congratulations.”

“What?”

“You mean it?” Lucia smiled.

“I’m sorry, Rafa but this is the happiest I’ve seen Lucia in years.”

He sat for a minute before he spoke. “You’re right. If you’re happy, Mami, then I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you, mijo.”

“Mike?”

“Yeah, Dad. If this what you guys want. I don’t think we really can do anything about it.”

“Great. How about you call Alice and we’ll all go to dinner, as a family.”

“Super,” Rafael said as rolled his eyes.


	88. Chapter 88

“I have to say, after the last time we spoke, you have some damn nerve to come ask me for help,” Rafael said as he eyed his former friend sitting in front of his desk.

“Well, I didn’t just come to ask for help, Raffi. I came to apologize,” Yelina replied as she tossed her long, dark hair over her shoulder. “It took me a while but in the end, Alex brought everything on himself.”

“Before I agree to help you in any way, I will have to discuss this with my wife.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t expect anything less. How is she, by the way?”

“Izzy’s great. She was promoted to Sergeant back in August.”

“Oh, well good for her. Did I hear you have 3 kids now?”

“Yep,” he said as he took a framed picture of all 3 kids from the previous Christmas (2016) and practically slammed it in front of her.

“Jackson looks just like you did when we were kids.”

“That’s what Mami always says. Okay, I will take this stuff home, I will talk to Izzy, and if she feels comfortable with it, I will help you divorce Alex.”

“If there’s anything I can do to make her more comfortable, let me know. I’d rather have somebody I know and can trust helping me with this.”

“Like I said, I will speak to her about it.”

“That’s all I ask, guapo.”

“Carmen!”

“Yes, Mr. Barba?”

“Send my wife a dozen roses, please.”

“Okay. Anything special on the card?”

“Uh, just what I normally say. No, wait. Here,” he said after he handed her a piece of paper that he had quickly wrote something on.

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Thank you.”

 

“So, the roses were to grease me up for this conversation?”

“No, mi amor. I send you flowers all the time for no reason.”

“Raf?”

“She came to me for help. I’m not doing anything unless you’re comfortable with it. I know you’ve never liked her.”

“Why should I? She broke your heart.”

“Yeah but if she hadn’t…”

“I know,” Izzy smiled. “I should thank her for that, really.”

“See? Look, she wants a lawyer she can trust. Alex still has a lot of stuff and she just wants to make sure her and their daughters are taken care of. But I’m serious. If you don’t want me to, I won’t do it.”

“Oh, go ahead. Just don’t be staying out late at night and stuff like that.”

“I’ll probably do most of the work on that in my home office. That means, she may come by here from time to time.”

“As long as she doesn’t disrespect me in my house, no problem.”

“She wouldn’t be that stupid, cariño.”

“Are you doing this pro bono?”

“Pfft, hardly,” he scoffed. “I don’t work for free, you know that.”

“You did for Nick when it came to the child support and stuff with Gil.”

“That was different. Nick and I may not have always seen eye to eye through the years, but we’ve been friends since you guys were in Narcotics together. I still remember when you introduced him to Maria.”

“Ah, yes. ‘Have you met Nick?’. I should’ve sued the creators of ‘How I met your mother’. That was my game. That’s how I used to hook up Dawson with girls.”

“You were a better wingman than your brother ever was for me.”

“Like you needed any help.”

“I did when it came to you,” he laughed.

“That’s because you were a jerk. We’ve been over this.”

“You made me nervous.”

“Do you remember what I was wearing that day?”

“Like it was yesterday, mi amor.”

“Tell me then.”

“You had on a Rolling Stones t-shirt, a black skirt, and black knee high boots. Your hair was curled but a mess. You looked like you had just come from a party or a concert, I wasn’t sure. I just knew you were the hottest girl I had seen the whole time I had been at Harvard.”

“Come on.”

“I’m serious. It was obvious you knew how to party and at first I thought, ‘this girl does not belong here’. I was wrong, of course.”

“I still, all these years later, can’t believe you didn’t know I was Tony’s little sister.”

“I saw your first name but I just needed your student ID number to put in the computer to charge your books to the right person.”

“Remember how we used to mess around in Professor Pistain’s class?”

“Yes, I do,” he said with a devilish smile. “That was the only time you didn’t go to class in your pajamas.”

“Why did I need to get dressed up to go to class? I already had you. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone.”

“I always thought you in your Harvard sweatshirts, plaid pajama bottoms, glasses on, with your hair in a ponytail was sexy as hell.”

 

“Are you really okay with this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be, Rollins?”

“I’m just saying. It’s his ex and after everything with her soon-to-be ex-husband…”

“I trust Barba. I know nothing’s going to happen. She just wanted help from someone she trusts. She even apologized to me. Hell, I checked outside to make sure people weren’t running amok in the streets. I sure thought the world was coming to an end. We used to have dinner with her and Alex every so often and she would just give me the dirtiest looks.”

“And you never said anything?”

“Out of respect for my husband. I mean he’s seen me fight.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. It was my Senior year of college. It was me, him, my brother, Erin of course, and their old roommates. This girl would not leave Rafael alone. Every time he went to get us drinks, she was grabbing him. She was in law school with him actually. He kept telling her to stop but she wouldn’t listen. I finally had enough. He had went to the bathroom and was coming back. This chick tried to pull him on the dance floor. He was pushing her away but that wasn’t enough. I got up and beat the fuck out of her.”

“Damn!”

“It took Tony and Rafael to get me off of her. I would’ve killed that bitch given the chance.”

“Did she stay from him after that?”

“You’re fucking right she did. She was some little rich bitch with a coke problem as it turned out.”

 

“Mi amor?”

“Yes?”

“Can you get the door?”

“Sure,” she said as she set down the spoon she had been stirring with and went to the door. “Yelina?”

“I’m so sorry, Izzy. I don’t mean to show up unannounced.”

“It’s fine, Yelina. Come in.”

“Is Rafael home?”

“Uh, yeah. He’s in Hudson’s room, actually.”

“Do you mind? I just need to speak to him for a minute.”

“No, not all. Come on.”

Rafael was in the floor with a shape box while Hudson was putting the right size parts into the slots. “Look at how smart you are, mijo,” he said with the biggest smile. 

“Ahem, Raf?”

“Si, mi amor? Oh, Yelina. What can I do for you?”

“I just need a moment of your time if it’s possible.”

“Uh, sure. You want to take him, cariño?”

“Sure,” Izzy said as she took their almost 18-month-old son from her husband.

“Why don’t we go into my office?” Rafael said to Yelina. Izzy wasn’t trying to let anything about this bother her but she couldn’t help but have a tinge of jealousy. Sure, she broke his heart but Yelina was also one of the biggest loves in his life. They had passed their 21-years together/14-years married anniversary back in December but she still had insecurities when it came to Yelina. Izzy was a 5’4 blond Italian-American from Brooklyn while Yelina stood at a least 5’11 in heels. Izzy had the most beautiful olive colored skin. She tanned easily but she could never be as dark as Yelina who looked like some Hawaiian goddess. 

 

“Okay so you’re fine with me going with Yelina for drinks?”

“No, Raf. Go ahead,” Izzy told her husband over the phone. “Go celebrate her divorce.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, love. Me and the kids will be fine.”

“I won’t be out too late at all. I need inside of you.” When he said that, Izzy was taking a drink of her diet coke and started choking on it. “Are you okay, mi amor?”

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine, Raf. Just go have fun.”

“Okay. Be waiting on me when I get home.”

“Are you worried that I’ll start without you?”

“Oh, no. I’m hoping you do, putita.”

“Putita, huh?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’ll see you when you get home, love.” 

 

Izzy sat waiting for hours for Rafael to get home. She text him, called him. She didn’t get a response either way. Every bad thought that could go through her mind was. His phone finally went to voicemail after her 9th call. All she could do was cry. She knew she could never compete with Yelina.


	89. Chapter 89

“Izz, listen to me,” Nick said as he practically shook her, “Barba would not abandon you and your kids!”

“It’s been two days, Nicky. His phone goes straight to voicemail, my texts haven’t been delivered.”

“Listen to me, okay? You guys have been together almost 22 years. He would NEVER hurt you.”

“Nick?”

“What’s up, Liv?”

“Can I talk to you in my office?”

“No, Liv. Anything you want to tell Nick, you can tell me,” Izzy demanded.

“Sergeant you have to stand down.”

“How can I, Lieutenant?” 

“Izz, come on.”

“Sergeant?”

“Mike. Thank god,” Izzy said as she threw her arms around her now brother in law.

“When did you last hear from him?”

“Two days ago.”

“Don’t panic, sis. Something has to be up.”

 

“You won’t get away with this, Yelina.”

“I think I already have, Raffi.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s been two days. If your little blond wife cared at all, she would’ve found you by now, don’t you think?”

Blood pooled in his mouth from his busted lip. He was having a hard time breathing. He didn’t know what if anything was broken inside of him. He just wanted his wife’s arms around him and his kids jumping on him. He had been beaten to the point all he was thinking about was Izzy and their kids. If he could get through this, it would be because of them. No matter how much he wanted to, he wouldn’t shed a tear.

“What does she have that I don’t?” Yelina asked after she called her goons off, sitting right in front of Barba.

He spit the blood from his mouth before he answered, “A heart.”

“You don’t think I have a heart, Raffi?”

“It’s Rafael.” His smart remark earned him another punch from one of Yelina’s punks.

“I’m gonna ask you again.”

“Fine. You want to know what Izzy has that you don’t? She has me. She’s never needed to look for anything outside of our marriage.”

“So you know of.”

“Please, Yelina. MY wife loves me. More than you ever thought about.”

 

“Izzy I swear I didn’t know Rafael and Yelina were having an affair!!”

“Are you serious with this shit, Alex?! They haven’t spoken in how long and you think they’re having an affair?!”

“Izzy!”

“Leave me alone, Mike! Give me that,” she said as she pointed to a small spoon that Mike handed to her after she shoved the 6’2 Alex Munoz up against the wall.

“What are you gonna do with that? It’s not sharp,” Alex scoffed.

“No, it’s not. Meaning it will hurt more when I gouge your fucking eyes out. I’m crazy enough to do it and my brother in law won’t stop me.”

“Okay, Okay!!!”

“What does that mean, Alejandro?

“I’ll tell you what I can, Izzy. The divorce was on the real. Yelina…she only wanted me because I had no problem being out in front; so she could be out in front, too.”

“Okay?”

“Look, Izzy, I was wrong to say what I did to Rafael that night. I know I fucked up. You got the good man. He would never cheat on you.”

“Does Yelina own any property that doesn’t have your name on it?”

Alex sat as his eyes went back on forth. “Yes. Her uncle has a house in Washington Heights.”

“What’s his name? What’s his name?!!!!” Mike yelled.

“Uh, uh, uh, Pablo. Pablo Ortiz.”

 

“Okay, no one has come in or out,” Fin said over the radio.

“He’s in there,” Izzy told everyone that was listening.

“You got a DA’s special investigator with you,” Fin laughed. “You know you’ve got…”

“Fin, this is my husband.”

“Come on, guys. Knock it off,” Liv countered. “We’ve got to get Barba out of there alive.”

“Nick?”

“What’s up, Izz?”

“Are you with me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m fixing to find a way into that house. Will you have my back?”

“I gotta save one of my bosses.” They fist bumped and headed around the condemned house.

“Izzy? Izzy? Sergeant?” Liv called over the radio but Izzy and Nick turned theirs down. They found a back way into the house. Izzy could hear Yelina’s voice. She was on the phone with someone.

“Yeah. No, his wife thinks that he ran off with me so it won’t be a problem. Okay. Yeah maybe 30 minutes.” Nick and Izzy moved slow and quietly behind Yelina, at least 5 feet behind her. Izzy almost fell apart when she saw Rafael covered in blood. He was obviously in pain. She wanted to run to him but she knew she couldn’t. She looked at Nick who nodded at her as she cocked her gun in Yelina’s hair.

“NYPD. Drop your weapon.”

“Iz…”

“I said drop it, Yelina!!” Izzy pushed her gun hard into Yelina’s head. “Nick! Get Barba!”

“You think you’re going to get away….” Izzy didn’t let Yelina finish speaking as she elbowed her in the face.

ESU, HNT, SVU, and a few local squads sat outside as Izzy walked a handcuffed Yelina out of the house. EMTs loaded Rafael into the ambulance but not before Izzy jumped in it. His head was moving from side to side. “Izz?”

She removed his oxygen mask so he could talk. “I love you.”

“Shh,” she said as she placed the mask back on his face. “You’re going to be fine, my love.”

He nodded before he passed out. “No, Rafa, stay with me!” Izzy pleaded as she held his hand.

 

“Izz, how is he?” Liv said as she ran up to her Sergeant.

“He’s got cracked ribs, internal bleeding. He’s in surgery right now cause the cracked ribs caused a lacerated spleen.”

“Shh. He’s going to be okay.”

“I hope so,” Izzy said as she cried. Her Lieutenant/friend just held her as she cried. Mike, Bill, Lucia, Fin, Carisi, Nick, Amanda, Tony, McCoy all showed up to support Izzy while her parents kept the kids. 

It had been a few hours since she had heard anything. “Sergeant Barba?”

“Yes?” Izzy said as she stood up. Nick was the first one to grab ahold of her before the doctor could speak.

“He’s going to be fine.”

Izzy fell into Nick’s arms at that news. “Can I see him?”

“He’s sedated but yeah, you can see him.”

She followed the doctor to Rafael’s room. He looked so broken, so pale from the blood loss. He had so many tubes sticking out from him. All she could do was cry. She took his hand. “Rafa? I hope you can hear me. Please don’t leave me. Don’t leave our family. I need you. The kids need you, Mike needs you. Just please stay with us, babe,” Izzy said as tears fell from her brown eyes.

Rafael had been knocked out for about 13 hours. Izzy left the room when the nursing assistants had come in to reposition him and empty his catheter bag. She had never seen her husband in the hospital like this. It had been almost 24 hours when he finally grabbed Izzy’s hand. “Oh my god. Rafa?”

He turned to her, a pained look came on his face. “Mi am…”

“Shh, Rafa.”

“Water,” he whispered and she grabbed the pitcher on his table to get him some water.

“Is that better, love?”

“Si, mi amor.”

Izzy bent down to kiss her husband. They both let small moans escape from their lips.

“You know I would never…”

“Yes, Rafa, I know.”

“Mrs. Barba? Oh, I’m sorry,” the nurse said as she came in his room. “The results came back and no DNA was found.” “Thank you.” “What was she talking about?” “I had them check you for...” “I got it. I don’t remember much but I know nothing like that happened. You know I can’t get it up for anyone but you,” Rafael managed a laughed.

“Already starting with the jokes, huh?” “You know me.”


	90. Chapter 90

“How’s he doing?”

“He’s asleep, Nick. He’s been in pain but everything is healing.”

“Yelina took a plea.”

“Yeah, Liv told me. So how are you liking working for the DA’s office?”

“I like it. It’s police work but it’s not. I’ll be glad when Barba comes back though. He is coming back, right?”

“As far as I know.”

“Well, let him know I came by to check on him.”

“I will, Nick.”

“If you need anything, I’m just a phone call away.”

“Thanks.”

Nick left and Izzy stood in the doorway for her & Rafael’s bedroom and watched him sleep. The cuts and bruises on his face were almost healed but were still present. The kids were staying with their grandparents most of the time so he could rest. Lily was 12 years-old and hard a time getting into their bed now. She sat at the end whining when she saw Izzy standing in the door. She wouldn’t use the steps they had bought except to come off the bed. She was just as spoiled as the kids at times. Izzy went and picked her up so she could snuggle behind Rafael’s legs.

 

“Hey,” Rafael said quietly as he found his wife in the laundry room.

“Hey, babe.”

“Do you need any help?”

“No. I think I got everything done,” she said as she picked up the basket of folded clothes to put up.

“Cariño stop.”

“What?”

“Stop treating me with kid gloves.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You act like I can’t doing anything, like I can’t take care of myself.”

“I’m just trying to help…”

“Stop! I don’t need help. I need my wife.”

“Raf…”

“I need her to hold me, I need her to kiss me. I need her to look at me like she did before.”

“I do…”

“No, you don’t. You look at me with everything but love. I see pity, I see disappointment, I see sadness.”

“The disappointment isn’t directed at you.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s me.”

“Talk to me.”

“I can’t. It’s selfish of me to even…”

“Mi amor just talk. I’m begging you.”

“I should’ve known when you didn’t come home, something was wrong. Instead, I was convinced you were willingly with her. If I hadn’t been so insecure, maybe we could’ve found you sooner and you wouldn’t have gone through what you did that last day.”

He took her in his arms as they stood in the laundry room and cried. “None of this was your fault. Okay? I shouldn’t have went out with her to begin with. If anyone is to blame, it’s me. I thought…I don’t know what I thought. We had her in our house, she was around our kids…”

“Don’t blame yourself, Rafa.”

“I still can’t remember what happened.”

“Well, you were drugged.”

“The only thing I know was that it was you and the kids that kept me alive.”

“What do you mean?”

“Any time I was hit or anything and felt like I wanted to pass out, I just kept thinking about you guys. I wasn’t ready to give up.”

“Let’s stop blaming ourselves.”

“I can handle that,” he said with a small smile. “There’s the look I’ve been needing to see.”

“I love you, Raf.”

“I love you, too, Izz. Here, let me put those clothes away for you.”

 

“Back to work already,” Izzy said as she straightened Rafael’s pink tie. “You would think after all these years, you could get these straight.”

“Maybe I just like when you do it,” he said before he kissed her.

“That sounds about right. Are you sure you’re ready?”

“It’s been a month. I have to go back before I lose my mind. So, what we talked about the other day. Are you okay with it?”

“Rafa you’ve wanted this since you became a lawyer. Apply for a judgeship if that’s what you want. You know I’m going to support you.”

“Okay,” he said as he picked her up and sat her on the bathroom counter while kissing her neck.

“Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Doesn’t feel like nothing.”

“We haven’t had sex in weeks. The doctor cleared me a week ago.”

“And you don’t have time.”

“Even for a quickie?”

“When are you quick?”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Don’t pout. I’ll take care of you tonight.”

“Promise?”

“Of course. Now go make sure the kids are up and get them some breakfast, please.”

 

“She hasn’t eaten much the past few days, Raf.”

“You know how it can be in the summer, mi amor. You drink more than you eat a lot of the time.”

“Something just seems different about her since her birthday.”

“Besides the fact that our daughter’s almost a teenager?”

“I’m serious.”

“If you’re that concerned then take her for a check-up.”

“Yeah, I guess I can do that. Did you take your medicine?”

“I’m gonna try and go to sleep without it tonight. The nightmares have been less and less.”

“I know. You’re not waking up drenched in sweat like you were.”

“Everything I didn’t remember to begin with just started coming back and that’s all I’d see when I’d close my eyes.”

“So, going to Dr. Lindstrom wasn’t pointless, was it?”

“No, it really wasn’t. I thought I could handle it myself. I’m glad I listened to you.”

“I was just looking out for you.”

“Thank you,” he said as he kissed her hand that he had been holding. “You don’t think I’m broken, do you?”

“Of course not. Babe you were beaten for two days. I never expected you to heal mentally as fast as you did physically. I just didn’t want to push you too hard too soon.”

“I’m glad you pushed me when you did. It probably wasn’t smart of me to go back to work so soon. Jack tried to get me to take another 2 weeks and I just couldn’t do it.”

“It’s going to be okay. You’re gonna be okay. I'll make sure of it."


	91. Chapter 91

“Raf did you not hear the doorbell,” Izzy laughed as she came out of their room.

“Guess I had the music up too loud. Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she said with a smile. “Go back to cooking dinner.”

“You got it,” he said as he turned on his heels and went back to the kitchen.

The doorbell rang again, “I’m coming! Jesus! Erin?!”

She was standing there, cheeks and nose red like she had been crying for hours. “I’m sorry I didn’t call. I just…”

“Okay, come on. I’ll help you with…every piece of luggage you own apparently. So, this isn’t a visit.”

She kind of shrugged as Izzy made Emersyn and Jackson come help her and Erin. “Where’s Hudson?”

“in the kitchen with his dad.”

“Teaching him to cook at almost 2, huh?”

“Something like that. So, you gonna tell me why you just showed up out here with all of your stuff in tow?”

“Bunny.”

“Bunny? Yeah, I’m gonna need a little more.”

“She murdered her boyfriend.”

“Is she going to be charged?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care anymore. 40 years and I’ve finally had enough.”

“So, what are you going to do now?”

“I was offered a position with the FBI, actually.”

“But?”

“I was kind of wondering if there might be a place for me in the NYPD, SVU maybe?”

“I’d have to talk to Liv and Chief Dodds.”

“I gotta find a place. I know you guys don’t have a guest room anymore.”

“Are you too good for a $3000 couch for a few weeks?”

“I still can’t believe you guys spent that much on a couch.”

“You see how big it is, don’t you?”

“It is comfortable.”

“So, what about Jay?”

Erin just shook her head. “If he calls you…”

“I haven’t heard from you.”

 

“Emersyn you need to eat more than what’s on your plate.”

“Mami do you know how much fat and carbs and everything else that is in Italian food?”

“Dr. Lee said you could stand to gain a few pounds. School is about to start; don’t you plan on trying out for the volleyball team?”

“Yeah, so?”

“What do you mean so? Watch the attitude.”

“You know what? I’m not hungry,” she said as her plate when in the sink and she walked out of the kitchen.

“Uh, it’s time for dinner.”

“Not hungry, Papi,” she said as she blew past him.

“Again? Really?”

“I know, Rafa. I mean she had the tiniest portions on her plate.”

“What did Dr. Lee say exactly?”

“She’s not underweight but she could gain a couple of pounds.”

“Well, you were her size at that age and you’ve always ate more than your brother. Maybe she’s stressed out about starting a new school and making new friends.”

“Maybe but she’s never had problems making friends.”

“We’ll keep an eye on things.”

“Keep an eye on things?”

“What do you think we should do? Send her to a psychiatrist when we don’t even know for sure if anything is wrong? You don’t eat when you get stressed. You didn’t eat for two days before you took your LSATs. I used to have to almost force food down you during finals.”

“So, we should just let her starve herself?”

“I didn’t say that, mi amor. I’m saying let’s not jump the gun to think there’s something more going on than there actually is. She might just be like you.”

“Okay, you’re right.”

“Let’s not stress anybody out just yet. This summer was enough as it was.”

“I know. At least Erin was only on our couch for two weeks.”

“I can’t believe she found an apartment so soon.”

“She might still be on our couch if it wasn’t for Carisi being nosy.”

“What would that be like to have him for a neighbor?”

“She’s three floors above him.”

“Still.”

“Get the boys for me, please.”

 

“So, Lindsay is living in Carisi’s building?”

“What’s wrong, Rollins? Afraid he’s not going to be able to cook for you anymore? You can always come eat at my house. Jesse likes my spaghetti sauce better than his.”

“No,” she laughed. “I just think it’s funny. When does she start anyways?”

“Next week. I had to beg Dodds to put her over here. NYPD didn’t want to hire her to begin with. She’s basically my responsibility.”

“Does she know that?”

“Dodds told her that if she fucks up, it’s my ass, too.”

“Well, surely that help keep her in line.”

“I stop at the church by our building every day and light a candle, just praying that it will.”

“So, have you talked to Nick?”

“Uh, yeah? Have you?”

“Why do you say it like that, Izzy?”

“He’s been back in New York for 4 months and you’re just now asking about him?”

“I know he helped us find Barba but do you guys hang out?”

“A little bit. He brought Zara over the other day so Emersyn could help her with a science project, while Gil was at Cesaria’s. He hung out with Barba mostly.”

“Did you ever tell him about…Declan?”

“I think I did, actually.”

“Izz!”

“He wanted to know if Jesse was his. What was I supposed to tell him? You missed him while he was gone, didn’t you?”

“No.”

“Yes, you did. You missed him.”

“It’s…complicated. I don’t know.”

“So, give him a call. Have a drink or two. Just don’t get psycho on him again.”

“That was a bad night.”

“No shit.”


	92. Chapter 92

“Has Liv told you what’s going on?” Rafael asked as he helped his wife cook dinner.

“No, what’s up?”

“Well, Nick told me that Cassidy is another investigator for the DA’s office…”

“And you didn’t know this?”

“I don’t know every investigator Jack hires, mi amor,” he chuckled. “Anyways, he’s investigating Liv for child abuse.”

“WHAT?!”

“Noah had a bruise on his arm and his school called CPS over it.”

“Liv saved him from being hit by a cab. She was on the phone with me when that happened. Can’t Cassidy talk to me?”

“It’s not that simple, Izz.”

“Why not? She would never hurt Noah!”

“You know that, I know that, Nick tried to get the case cause he knows that, too. We are just too closes to her for opinions to matter.”

“Cassidy should know that, too.”

“I’m sure she’ll be cleared.”

“She better be or me and Rollins will handle his stupid ass.”

“There’s my girl,” he said with that smirk, as he sat his scotch on the counter, and took his wife in his arms. They both loved to cook with music playing. Izzy’s phone was playing “Crossfire” by Killers front man, Brandon Flowers, so he immediately started dancing with her. He could be so romantic at times for no reason; and it certainly didn’t hurt that the man had always been able to move to no matter what was playing. To him, this was true romance. It wasn’t the flowers or jewelry he showered her in. It was times like these that he could have a real connection to his wife. It was spontaneous, which they both loved. Sex didn’t factor in at that moment. They just danced and had fun as they cooked dinner together.

 

“Fine!” Emmie yelled as she slammed her door. 

“Emmie, open the door,” Izzy instructed.

“No, Mami! I’m sick of all these questions!”

“You made the team. Why did you decide not to play?”

“I don’t want to talk about it!”

“Fine,” Izzy said after she had made every attempt to get her only daughter to open up to her. They had always been so close, but Emersyn seemed to be pulling away from her family. She didn’t want to participate in their weekly “family night” where they’d order pizza and play a game, she quit the Volleyball team at her new school before it even started. Izzy had taken so many psychology classes at Harvard but nothing prepared her for this.

Rafael came from playing with Hudson who teetered his way in with only a diaper on and Rafael’s plaid tie around his head.

“I’m not even going to ask,” Izzy laughed.

“He wanted Papi’s tie. How could I say no?”

“And he put it on his head like that?”

“It’s not too tight, cariño. Are you…okay?”

“Not really, Rafa.”

“Hudson go play.”

“No, Papi.”

“Go, ahora.”

“No,” Hudson said as he crossed his arms. 

“Great. The terrible two’s are hitting before his second birthday.”

“Rafa.”

“What’s bothering you, mi amor?”

“It’s Emersyn.”

“What about her?”

“She keeps on with the food stuff, she’s been working out with me and Rollins, going longer than we do on the elliptical, the treadmill.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. I mean she went from this bubbly, blond headed, happy girl to…what she is now.”

“Then let’s see if Dr. Lindstrom can refer her to someone.”

“Okay, Raf.”

 

“Did…is it our fault?”

“No, Rafael,” Dr. Lindstrom told him. “They say that Anorexia is genetic for the most part.”

“How can that be? I’ve never…”

“Izzy it’s not always something you’ve done or said. She was just vulnerable and with her favorite singers and actresses being so skinny…there’s too much pressure on kids these days to have the perfect body. You two can’t sit and blame yourselves. Let’s not worry about how or why this happened. You two have a happy, loving marriage, and you love your kids. I can refer Emersyn to a psychiatrist that specializes in eating disorders.”

“Thank you, Dr. Lindstrom.”

“Of course, Counselor,” he said as the two men shook hands. “I’m just a phone call away; for any of you.”

 

“This is such crap!!!!”

“Emersyn give me your phone and iPad, ahora!!” Rafael yelled. She was refusing to eat and refusing to talk to anyone about what was going on.

“Fine! You want my table? Here it is,” she said as threw it on the ground, shattering the screen.

“That is it!!!! You will only leave this house for school. I AM DONE!!!!”

“I don’t’ give a shit!”

“Excuse me?!?!”

“Like I haven’t heard you and Mami talking. Fuck school, fuck volleyball, and fuck the two of you!!!” Emersyn screamed as she slammed her door. 

“Fuck this,” Rafael thought to himself. He had never been athletic but his adrenaline was coursing through his veins which made him bust Emmie’s door open. “I have had…what are you doing, princesa?” He asked as he saw a razorblade in his daughters hand. “Stop this, right now.”

“Papi, I’m fat and ugly!”

“No. No you’re not, Emmie.”

“Yes, I am! I’ve lost 15 pounds and it’s still not enough!”

“Princesa, stop,” he said as he held his daughter while she cried. “I’m sorry Mami isn’t here right now.”

“Why am I so fat?!”

“Princesa you are so far from fat.”

“No, I’m not! I weigh 132 pounds.”

“And? You know how much your mother weighed when she was your age?”

“No,” Emersyn said as she shrugged.

“Well, why don’t you talk to her about it?”

“Okay, Papi.”

“Okay, well get ready for bed. I’ll talk to Mami in the morning.”


	93. Chapter 93

“How’s she doing?”

“Her heart rate is in the 50s, they’re fixing to put a feeding tube in.”

“How’s Barba doing?”

“He’s in there with her right now, Amanda.”

“How long…I mean how did it progress so fast?”

“She’s been lying to us for months and we never noticed. She’d tell us she ate at a friend’s house, she’d want to eat in her room so she could read and then give it to the dog. We just missed everything. I mean, I started…” Izzy couldn’t even finish her thought.

“Do you need me to do anything?” Amanda asked after she hugged her best friend. “I can call Carisi and we can get the boys from Dodds and Lucia.”

“No, they’re fine, Amanda. Thank you.”

“Okay, call me if y’all need anything at all.”

“We will.” Amanda left as Rafael walked up and sat in the chair next to his wife. “How did we miss all this, Rafa?”

“Dr. Lindstrom and Dr. Greenfield said we can’t do that. We can’t sit here and go through everything we missed.”

“She just…I mean she’s 12 and they’re putting a feeding tube in her.”

“She weighs 100 pounds. They’ve gotta do something or we’ll lose her.”

 

“How did she only gain a single pound in a week? You’ve been pushing 4,500 calories into her a day.”

“Mr. Barba I know this isn’t the outcome you were hoping for.”

“You could say that.”

“There are a few inpatient programs around the city.”

“Wait, are you suggesting we basically lock our 12-year-old daughter away in a mental institution?”

“Rafa.”

“It sounds worse that it is. She would participate in very intense therapy, one-on-one and group. She could be around girls her age going through similar situations which could add a little perspective to things. You guys could see her. She will be able to keep up with school so she doesn’t fall behind.”

“How long would she have to be there?” Izzy asked.

“You’re considering this?”

“I don’t see another choice, Rafael.”

“It could be anywhere from 6 weeks onwards to a year.”

“A year?!”

“Raf…”

“You heard him right? A year. Our daughter could be away from our home for a year!”

“Honestly, Mr. Barba, she’d likely be out in three months. Maybe not even that long.”

“We want her better right?”

“Yeah,” he said as he nodded his head. “Okay. I want us to take her. I don’t want her transported by ambulance.”

“You can take her home, let her pack some things. No belts, no razors, no strings in hoodies, everything is outlined on the third page of that packet. You should be able to drop her off around 3.”

 

“Do I really have to go to this…facility? People in my class are going to think I’m crazy.”

“This is our best option right now, princesa.”

“But…”

“I know. Mami and I don’t like it either. We just don’t know how to help you. Therapy obviously wasn’t enough.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“I feel like I’m a burden…”

“Don’t ever say that. We just want what’s best for you. Come here,” he said as he took his only daughter in his arms while she cried. “You are going to get better.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. You’re tough.”

“I’m sorry about how I’ve been acting. I feel like I’ve been taken over by something and the person I see in the mirror or hear in my head isn’t me.”

“It’s good you’re able to recognize that. It says to me that you want to get better.”

“I do. I don’t want another feeding tube.”

“I only did that to save your life, you know that?”

“Yeah. I guess passing out at school was the wake-up call we all needed.”

“It was. It’s sad but it’s true.”

“You guys will come visit me, right?”

“As soon as we’re allowed. I don’t know if we’ll be able to bring your brothers at first but we’ll get it figured out. You’re just going to be in Queens so you’re not that far from home. Is that everything you want to take?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay, come on. You’re gonna be okay.”


	94. Chapter 94

“So, how’s Emersyn doing?”

“She’s doing better. It’s been 5 weeks and she’s gained a little more than a pound a week, so she’s cooperating. She’ll more than likely get to come home for Christmas.”

“That’s great. I can’t wait to see her. So, uh, what’s up with Lindsay being so far up Liv’s ass?”

“I think Voight asked Liv to look out for her.”

“And how old is she?”

“She’s had it rough, Amanda.”

“I know that. I just still don’t know why she turned down the job with the FBI.”

“What I don’t know is why she just up and left Jay. Dawson told me he was going to propose.”

“Have you asked her about it?”

“Any time I bring him up she just shakes her head.”

“Damn.”

“So, uh, what’s the deal between you and Carisi?”

“Nothing. We’re just friends.”

“After that trip to West Virginia to pick up crazy catfish, something’s been different. Are you sure nothing happened?”

“I told you, I slept with the bartender.”

“But you said…”

“And nothing happened.”

“I know that reporter dumped him after the whole Emma Lawrence thing.”

“We need to find him a woman. How about Lindsay?”

“Please, she’d scare him off in a week.”

 

“Papi said you guys had a rough few days.”

“We did, Emmie, but Noah is home and safe. Sorry I didn’t come with him last night.”

“He said you were buried in paperwork but you’d be here today.”

“So, the dietician told me you’re up to 107 pounds. How do you feel about that?”

“At first, I mean I’m sure you know, I was having trouble with it but it’s not so bad. I’m feeling better.”

“Yeah, all of your vitals are good. Has your period come back?”

“Ugh, yeah. I was really hoping it was going to be awhile.”

“Oh, well. So, everyone is looking forward to seeing you at home in a few days.”

“Who all is going to be there?”

“Well, your grandparents, Uncle Tony, Aunt Amanda and Jesse, Aunt Erin, Uncle Nick and Zara, Gil is going to California to see his mom, Uncle Mike and Aunt Alice. Uncle Sonny and Uncle Fin will be buy at some point. Aunt Liv and Noah might come. She’s still being very careful after what happened.”

“So, Uncle Matt…”

“He’s in India from what Mike told Papi.”

“I just don’t want everyone watching me eat and I don’t want a big deal made over me.”

“Okay. I’m sure that won’t be problem.”

 

“Did you see what I mean?” Rafael asked as they got ready for bed. 

“I did. You were right. For the first time in months, she looks genuinely happy.”

“I wondered if we did the right thing but after seeing her yesterday, there’s no doubt in my mind that we did.”

She’s going to better and before we know it, she’ll be back home.”

“I know. So, we get to pick her up Christmas Eve?”

“And she has to be back the 26th by 9am.”

“It’s not much but at least it’s something right now.”

“Exactly.”

He leaned over to kiss his wife good-night. Neither of them had any intention of stopping as his hand gripped her waist. No words had to be spoken as his hand traveled up her thigh to pull off her panties. The only sounds that were made were that of moans as they made love that night. All the stress that had been piling on them had taken its toll for sure.


	95. Chapter 95

“My dad always said he wasn't scared of being dead, he was scared of dying. That kid is dying every day. He's taking his folks with him,” Rafael said after talking to Maggie Householder who’s 10-month-old son Drew was born with MDDS. He was being kept alive by machines. Her husband, Aaron, had kidnapped him due to the fact that Maggie wanted to let Drew die. She tired of watching him suffer. He couldn’t see, couldn’t hear. On top of a very stressful case, Emmie had been caught with diuretics, after she found out she weighed 125 pounds, meaning she would not be released in February like her goal was set at. She had to start everything back over. 

“You don’t have to prosecute.”

“Didn’t we just go over this with Mariel McLaughlin?”

“I know, Rafa.”

“There’s a rumor going around that Judge Petrovsky is finally retiring. Maybe I’ll finally get the phone call I’ve been waiting for. So, how long did the psychiatrist and the rest of her team say that Emersyn is going to be at that facility?”

“Another 6 weeks right now.”

“Sorry I couldn’t make the meeting, cariño.”

“It’s okay. This whole case is just…I don’t even know to describe it.”

“What would you do?”

“What do you mean?”

“If that was us in the Householders shoes. What would you do?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. You?”

“No idea. I mean after everything with my dad…I fought you and Mami and let him suffer for 6 weeks. I knew he was never getting better. I didn’t care that he wasn’t, really. After everything I dealt with over the years…I just…”

“I know, Rafa.”

“I was selfish.”

“I remember how the nurses had my number and they would call me to get you at night.”

“I should’ve just let Mami end it.”

 

“Mr. McCoy?”

“Colleagues get to call me Jack, Sergeant.”

“Sorry, Jack. How is he?”

“They won’t tell me anything because I’m not family.”

“What happened?”

“He was in his office, having a drink. I stopped by as I was leaving and had a drink, too. He told the story of when his dad was on life support and thought it was selfish that he left him on life support. I was getting ready to leave and I noticed he was sweating and it wasn’t hot in his office. He looked kind of pale. I asked him if he was okay and it was the damndest thing’ he actually told me no. He said something felt wrong, so I got him here.”

“Thank you, so much, Jack. Maybe it was just anxiety.”

“I know he’s been under a lot of pressure lately and this case hasn’t helped.”

“Mr. McCoy?”

“Yes, Dr. Hannigan?”

“He’s asking for his wife.”

“And this is her.”

“Is he okay?”

“He seemed to have had a mild heart attack.”

“What?!”

“Come on, I’ll take you to him.”

“He’s only 43. How could he possibly have a had a heart attack?”

“I’ve seen people have heart attacks in their 30s, Mrs. Barba. He’s right in there.”

He was sitting up in the bed, so many wires seemed to be all over him. “Mi amor, don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it.”

“It was just a small one.”

“Still you’re so young. We had sex this morning.”

“That had nothing to do with it,” he sort of laughed. “I haven’t been taking care of myself, these last few months especially.”

“I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I am, thanks to McCoy. If he hadn’t stopped by my office…Carmen might’ve found me dead in the morning.”

“Don’t joke like that.”

“Come on. You expect me not to have a little chuckle about this?”

“Yes, I do. You remember when my dad had a heart attack 15 years ago?”

“Yes, and he was fine. Still is. He just FINALLY retired a year ago. I’ll be fine, cariño. You’re not getting rid of me this soon. I promise.”

 

“Look at this. These discharge papers say I need to exercise. I exercise!”

“I don’t think they mean sex, Barba.” Carisi laughed.

“Shut it, Carisi. And trust me, with my wife, I get a work out.”

“Rafa!!”

“Tell me I’m lying, Izz.”

She and Rollins just laughed as they unloaded the groceries Izzy had delivered.

“Hey, hey! What are you doing?”

“Pouring me and Carisi a drink?”

“You can pour Carisi one.”

“Are you serious with this?” He asked as Izzy took his drink from his hand. “That’s $13.76 of scotch you’re going to waste.”

“You watched a little too much ‘Everybody Hates Chris’ in the hospital. And who said I was wasting it?” She laughed as she downed it.

“And I’m the ass in this marriage?”

“Here, have some water.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“So, when do you get to come back to work?”

“I’m not sure, Carisi. I have to see the Cardiologist next week already. Wait, what the hell is this?”

“What do you mean?”

“All this that you bought? Cow’s eat this shit, I’m supposed to eat cows!”

“Raf you’re cholesterol…”

“This is not real eggs!”

“Calm down, Barba, before you have another heart attack,” Carisi joked.

“Carisi, you want to wear…”

“My ass for a hat? No thanks.”

“Ugh, Kale?”

“You’ll live, babe. I promise.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not so sure.”


	96. Chapter 96

“Yes. No. Not at all. Thank you, so much,” Izzy heard Rafael say over the phone as she came back from putting Hudson down for a nap. He had been off from work for nearly a month, with her taking a few personal days here and there.

“What was that about?”

He had the biggest smile on his face.

“Oh my god, did you…was that…”

“What is it you like to call me when I bend you over my desk in my office?”

“Counselor?”

“Well, you need to practice saying ‘your honor’.”

“You’re kidding?!”

“Nope. I have been asked to take Petrovsky’s spot.”

“This is wonderful! Oh, you’ve worked so hard for this,” she said as she kissed him.

“Abuelita was right. She always said I’d be a judge.”

“This…God, I’m so happy for you.”

“You know, I passed my stress test the other day.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“But you’re still not eating right.”

“Ugh! Come on.”

“Nope. I didn’t need you dying while you’re inside of me.”

“But what a way to go.”

 

“Okay, we have some rules,” Rafael told Emmie as they got her home after almost 5 months. “No eating in your room to start with. The door has been removed from your room as well.”

“Okay, Papi.”

“We are committed to you continuing your recovery but we have to be able to trust you.”

“I know.”

“Mami will drop off your lunch every day. Mrs. York is going to make sure you don’t throw it away.”

“Papi I’m not a baby.”

“We know this but…”

“I know.”

“It’s not always going to be like this, princesa.”

“I know, Papi.”

“You look great, by the way. You look like my daughter again.”

“Thanks. I feel good. I really do. Did you get that hole in my wall fixed?”

“No. We decided to leave it as a reminder of how bad things got.”

“I understand that, I suppose,” she kind of laughed.

“Okay, well, go unpack your stuff. Big day tomorrow.”

“For you, too.”

“Yes. It’s my first day on the bench. We’ll see if I’m cut out for it.”

 

“What’s this?” Rafael asked as Izzy laid a file on his desk in his chambers. “If this has anything to do with the case…”

“Just read it.”

He did as she said and opened the manila folder. “Are you serious?”

“100%. This is a contract that you will follow doctor’s orders.”

“Limit my scotch intake, limit my coffee, work out with either Nick or Mike at least three times a week…”

“And you see the little addendum after that?”

“Sex is not counted as exercise. Well, considering I haven’t got any since my heart attack. Take my blood pressure and cholesterol meds, no working past 7 unless absolutely necessary. Follow your diet plan? Mi amor…”

“Did you see what will happen if you comply?”

“Ah, blow jobs whenever I request them. Sex when I want it, how I want it, and where I want it.”

“That’s right,” she said with a smile. “But failure to comply…”

“And I’m in the same position I’m in now,” he scoffed.

She handed him his gold pen. “Sign it…your honor.”

He looked up at his wife with an almost glare as he grabbed the pen from her and signed the document.

“I hope you realize this is legal.”

“I’m aware you have a law license, Elizabeth.”

“Good,” she smiled as she grabbed the file. “I just want you around for a few more years.”

“I know. I told you, you aren’t getting rid of me anytime soon,” he said after he came from behind his desk to kiss her.

“Well, okay, your honor. I need to get back.”

 

“Hey Liv?”

“What’s up, Sergeant?”

“I need to step out for a little bit.”

“Okay. We’ll be fine. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just need to run an errand.”

Izzy got in the elevator to head to Rafael’s chambers after he had text her a picture of the kale salad Carmen had got him for lunch, with the remark that according to paragraph 12, article D, she could come blow him at that moment.

“You wanted to see me your honor?”

“Lock the door, cariño.”

She did that and went and sat on his desk. She had worn a skirt that day because she had to testify for their newest ADA out of Chicago, Peter Stone. Even though Rafael had moved up, she hated walking into his old office and seeing Stone. He had changed everything. She couldn’t but laugh, though, when she thought about all the times her husband had fucked her on that very desk that Stone sat at.

Rafael ran his hand up her left leg lightly before it got all the way to the pink panties she was wearing. He pushed them aside as he pushed two fingers inside of her, driving her wild. His thumb started working on her clit. His green eyes were dark as he watched her writhe at his touch on his desk. He stood and pulled her close to him as he kept going. “Raf, I’m gonna…oh my god,” she whispered into his neck as he came all over his fingers. After taking them out of her, he stuck one in his mouth. “So fucking sweet,” he said while he stared into her eyes.

“Well, that was wonderful,” she said as she stood up and straightened her skirt.

“Excuse me?”

“Your contract states that you have to limit your caffeine intake, which you did not today.”

“How did you know that?”

“I have my sources.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have brought Carmen with me.”

“You want my mouth on your dick, you want that dick inside of me, start taking this seriously.”

“Ugh, fine. I’m taking my meds and working out again.”

“That’s not all you need to do.”

“Okay, okay,” he said as threw his hands up. “I’ll start being serious about this.”

“Good and when you do, you can get back into your fun place.”


	97. Chapter 97

“Hey,” Rafael said as he came in from running with Mike on a Wednesday morning in the Spring (2018), placing a kiss on his wife’s cheek.

“How was your run?”

“Not bad. Okay, what’s in this,” he asked taking a glass filled with some sort of green liquid.

“Pineapple, spinach, avocado, water, and ice, of course.”

“Does not even sound good.”

“Amanda, Erin, and I drink these almost every day.”

“I like the orange, pineapple, banana.”

“You haven’t tried this one. Just drink it. You don’t have court today.”

“Why don’t you take the day with me?” He said as he kissed her neck.

“Raf…”

“It’s been long enough. The doctor said I’m fine to resume normal activities, including sex. The kids are at school, it’s just us.”

“Why don’t you go take a shower?”

“Look, I know you’re worried but I’m fine. I promise.”

 

“Hey, Raf? I called Liv and…” Izzy just stopped and stared as he came into the bedroom with only towel on. The working out and running was definitely paying off. 

“You called Liv and what?”

“Huh? Oh! She said I could take the day off.”

“You okay?”

“I, I, I…yeah.”

“You like what you see?” He asked with that smirk on his face.

“Yes, I do actually.”

“Well, it’s not my fault you haven’t let me touch you in two months.”

“Raf…”

“I know. We’re not going to keep going through this.”

“I will say you have kept up your end of the deal.”

“And what was that in your contract you drew up? Oh, right. I could have sex how I want, when I want, and where I want?”

“I did write that.”

“Well, Papi’s feeling a little greedy today.”

“What do you mean?”

“I want in your mouth, in your ass…”

“Do you really think…”

“That is a legally binding contract, Elizabeth,” he said sternly. “Now, are you going to give me what I want or are things going to get ugly?”

“What do you want first, Papi?”

“I want you to get on your knees and put those perfectly pink lips on my cock, then we can go from there.”

He got everything he wanted that morning. There was no doubt his back would be covered in scratches, especially after he slammed into her ass while she was on her back. 

“Sorry I got a little carried away.”

“I’m surprised you had it in you after two months.”

“You know I can handle myself. I’m afraid you’re going to have a nasty bruise…”

“Well, nobody told you to bite me on my ass.”

“Well, I was just showing you what your little contract did.”

“Funny. I’m glad you’re back to your old self.”

“I’m not my old self. I’m new and improved, baby.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“22 years, babe. 22 years.”

 

“Carisi, does Liv know where you are?”

“Yeah, Sarge.”

“Carmen is he bothering you? If so, I mean I am his boss. I can chain him to his desk.”

“He’s fine, Izzy. He just dropped off some files Stone needed to get to your husband.”

“And why are you doing Stone’s dirty work? You go off to do his then who does that leave to do mine?”

“Rollins or Lindsay.”

“But that’s not as fun. Get back to the office.”

“Copy that, Sarge. I’ll see you later, Carmen,” Carisi said with a smile.

Izzy just stood outside her husband’s chambers, watching Carmen as Sonny walked away, who had a smile that mirrored Carisi’s. “What?” She asked bashfully.

“I’m not saying a word, Carmen.”

“Your husband is expecting you, she laughed as she shooed Izzy away.


	98. Chapter 98

“So, seriously. Is there something going on between Carmen and Carisi?”

“I really don’t know, Amanda,” Izzy told her on their one girls night they took every two weeks.

“I had to get Liv to watch Jesse cause he had plans.”

“Just ask him.”

“Yeah, okay. Come on, Erin have you seen her in your building?”

“Rollins I’m three stories above him,” Erin laughed. “I rarely see him.”

“Fine. If that’s what he wants,” she said throwing her hands up.

“What about the doctor?”

“Izzy didn’t tell you?”

“What do you think, I sit around and gossip all the time?”

“You always know things.”

“I keep my ear to the ground.”

“Anyways, I thought things were going great but he left his credit card statement out. We’ve been busting our asses with these cases and he’s been running around with escorts.”

“Rollins I…I didn’t mean…”

“It’s fine, Erin. So, what about you? Have you dated anyone since you’ve been here?”

“No.”

“No but you have been sleeping with my brother,” Izzy scoffed.

“What? What your talking about? Ugh, don’t give me that look. You look just like your husband when you do that.”

“Where do you think I learned it from, Erin?”

“It’s only been a couple of times.”

“A couple of times a week she means.”

Amanda was laughing so hard as Izzy busted Erin out.

“How did you know?”

“My brother and his brother in law have dinner two or three times a month. You guys think I talk?”

“It’s nothing. I’m too old for him now.”

 

“Carisi I’m going to tell you this one time and one time only, if this is some ploy to make Rollins jealous…”

“It’s not, Barba, I promise.”

“Carmen is the best assistant I’ve ever had. My wife can attest to that. I pulled a lot of strings to get her moved with me so don’t give her any reason to leave.”

“I won’t. She’s fun to be around. I realized I was wasting my time waiting on Rollins. I mean, yeah, I’ll still be her friend but I’m not spending my life waiting on something that’s never going to happen.”

“I get it, trust me.”

“I thought your step-brother was meeting us.”

“He’s on his way. Amaro is, too.”

“Sarge is okay with you drinking and eating bar food for the night?”

“It’s my one cheat night I get a week.”

“She’s stayed on you about this stuff, hasn’t she?”

“You have no idea. Do you know she was paying Carmen to spy on me? She was ratting me out every time I had more than 3 cups of coffee a day.”

“Yeah, Carmen said something about that.”

“Oh, well, thanks for the fucking heads up,” Rafael laughed. “I tried to get Carmen to go get me the greasiest burger she could find me one day and I told her I would pay her and she told I’d have to pay her more than my wife was. Okay. Fine. Turns out she was getting a nice little $200 bonus from my wife every week. I give her more money and she took it to my wife and told on me!!”

“Yeah, that was sort of the day I asked her out for coffee,” Carisi laughed. 

“And she said yes?”

“Obviously.”

 

“You wanted to see me, Lieutenant?”

“Uh, yeah, Izz. Have a seat.”

“What’s up?”

“What’s going on with Rollins lately?”

“You’d have to ask her, Liv.”

“I know you two are close. She’s not gambling again is she?”

“No, I can tell you that.”

“Anything to do with Carisi and Carmen?”

“Maybe, maybe not,” Izzy shrugged.

“Okay, tell me this. Why did you pull her into my office two nights ago and have a very intense conversation with her from what Fin said?”

“Ugh, you’re not going to let this go. Okay the whole thing with Sandy/Sky just got under skin for some reason. I walked up as Amanda was throwing money at her to make up for the ‘work’ she had missed.”

“I see.”

“I know I probably shouldn’t have done…”

“When I’m not here, you’re in charge. I would’ve done the same thing more than likely. Any idea why…”

“Again…”

“Ask Rollins. Hard to do when you’re the only person she opens up to for the most part. Just do me a favor, Sergeant.”

“What’s that?”

“If any of them, Fin, Erin, Carisi, or Amanda are having problems, don’t keep it if from me. Know where to draw the line between friend and commanding officer.”

“Copy that, Lieutenant.”

“Okay, get out of here and go home,” Liv smiled.


	99. Chapter 99

“Barba is really going on vacation with Carisi,” Fin laughed as Izzy handed him some files that needed finished so she could get home and make sure everything was ready for their trip.

“I’m as shocked as you are, Fin, believe me.”

“So, it’s just going to be me, Liv, and Rollins for a week?”

“It looks that way.”

“Things seem to getting serious between him and Carmen. Good for him. He needs a little color in his life.” Amanda loudly slapped her hands on her desk as she got up. “Did I say something wrong?”

“I don’t know, Fin. Makes sure she doesn’t do something stupid while I’m gone, huh?”

“I’ll do what I can.”

“Okay, well have fun.”

Izzy stopped by the breakroom to check on Amanda before she left.

“No, I’m fine, really. It’s not about Carisi or Carmen or, or Al. Look, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Just go. Have fun.”

 

“Hey. You okay?” Rafael asked his wife as she looked out the window during their flight to Turks Caicos.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re worried about the kids.”

“Emmie mainly.”

“Your mom assured us that she will be fine.”

“It’s just what if something happens while we’re gone?”

“Then we’ll come home. We have to start trusting her more. She’s maintaining a healthy weight; her OCD is under control. She’s doing really well.”

“I know.”

“Come on, we’re going to relax this week. You can call her every hour if you want. You’ll drive her crazy but you can do it,” he laughed.

“Okay, you’ve made your point.”

“After everything with her and my health issues, we really need a break. Besides, we gotta figure out what’s going on between your brother and Erin.”

“You mean he hasn’t told you?”

“No, which says to me they aren’t just sleeping together on occasion like they say. When he really likes someone, he shuts up. He was like that in college.”

“Mike and Alice flew down yesterday, right?”

“Yeah, they were meeting Carisi and Carmen. I never thought I’d say those two names in the same sentence like that.”

 

“You threw a book at Barba in the middle of class,” Carisi laughed after listening to story about their college days.

“He wouldn’t stop arguing with me.”

“That was the best day,” Tony laughed.

“And you guys were together then?”

“Yes, we were, Mike. We were in a political science class, second semester of my junior year, her freshman year. We were on opposite side of some issue and I made the mistake of opening my mouth…”

“What did you do?”

“I don’t even remember, Carisi. I just remember ducking as her textbook came flying toward my head.”

“You don’t remember what you said? I do.”

“What did I say?”

“Jesus Christ what did you have for breakfast, Carnation Instant Bitch?” Izzy and Tony said at the same time.

“I forgot about that.”

"Well, that explains the book," Mike chuckled.

“And you didn’t say anything, Tony?”

“I warned him about her in the beginning, Carisi. He took her on, he could deal with her.”

“How’d you get out of the doghouse?”

“I had my ways. I still do.”

“He showed up at my dorm with a dozen roses, begging me to forgive him.”

“It worked didn’t it?”

“Before you try to deny it, Izz, I heard you forgiving him when I got in from class.”

“Shut up, Erin!”

“Yeah, shut up, Erin,” Tony said as he playfully nudged her. “I don’t want to hear that shit. It’s bad enough I know my best friend has slept with my sister three times for sure.”

“We’ve been together almost 23 years, I think you need to get over the fact I’ve slept with your sister more than 3 times, Tony.”

“And you never cared they got together?”

“Not really, Mike. My sister could take care of herself.”

 

“Can I ask you a question, Izzy?”

“Sure, Carmen. What’s up?”

“Did anything ever happen between Sonny and Amanda?”

“As far as I know, no. They’ve always just been friends. Are you worried that…”

“I just don’t want to get too invested and something go wrong.”

“I’ve known Carisi for a long time. I don’t see there being an issue. He seems to really like you.”

“I like him, too. He really looks up to Mr…I mean, Rafael.”

“Much to my husband’s chagrin, I assure you,” Izzy laughed. “I shouldn’t say that. Rafael has begrudgingly been his friend.”

“What are you two up to?” Alice asked as she walked in the kitchen, joining Carmen and Izzy.

“Getting lunch ready. Are those idiots still out in the pool?”

“You know they are, Izzy.”

“I swear, they are like overgrown kids.”

“And in two days, they’ll magically turn back into adults when we land in New York.”

“Are you sure you want to date someone in this group, Carmen?”

“Sonny’s not so bad.”

Izzy and Alice just kind of smiled and snickered as Carmen watched Carisi and the rest of the guys outside.


	100. Chapter 100

“Carisi I don’t want to hear about the ways you defile my assistant.”

“I’ve had to actually hear you defile my sister, Barba,” Tony remarked.

“When? Name one time.”

“All the time in college, especially that year the three of us lived together. I just choose to block it out.”

“Guys can we concentrate on my question?”

“What did you ask, Carisi?” Mike laughed after getting sidetracked by his step-brother and Tony.

“Romance? I mean I take Carmen to these nice restaurants and to the theater, I send her flowers. I just don’t feel like it’s enough.”

“Okay, so you two have been seeing each other for a couple of months by my count. I mean I can’t believe she agreed to come on this vacation with you but I digress. Real romance isn’t about flowers and fancy dinners. Does she cook for you, do you cook for her?”

“Yeah, I do all the time.”

“Okay, do you listen to music while you cook?”

“Yeah most of the time. Why?”

“Izzy will be in the kitchen cooking and she always has music playing. I can’t count how many times I’ve taken her hand and just danced in the kitchen with her. It’s not much but for those 3 or 4 minutes you connect and it’s not sexual in any way but it’s intimate…until you have a two year old running in naked with the dog coming up behind him with his diaper in her mouth. Oh my god! No wonder I had a heart attack!!”

Tony, Rafael, Carisi, and Mike were all laughing. “Barba’s right though,” Mike said as he wiped his tears, “Alice loves little things like that. It’s not about the money I spend. It’s when I’m vulnerable that turns her on.”

“You always ask how Izzy and I have sustained our relationship for 23-years, Carisi. It’s the little things like that. Sometimes, I’ll come home from work and I’ll just take care of her. I’ll take over everything she has in the air with dinner and the kids and just let her relax. Women appreciate that stuff more. Erin does, doesn’t she, Tony?”

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t know. We’ve never been like that.”

Barba’s eyebrow arched as he looked at this brother in law with a small smirk. “Seriously? You expect us to believe that?”

“I don’t know what you’re insinuating, Rafael.”

“You know what I’m insinuating, Anthony.”

“We aren’t sharing a room…”

“No but one of you was in the other’s last night. Mike, Carisi, and I heard you. You two still can’t keep quiet, just like in college, and you talk about me and your sister. I am going to tell you this though, Carisi. Keep Carmen happy because she has the ability to make life miserable if you don’t. There’s only one woman that’s allowed to make my life miserable and she has earned it.”

 

“Hey was your trip,” Liv asked as Izzy sat at her desk.

“Pretty good. Expect Barba telling Carisi to keep junior high lengths dance between him and Carmen at all times or something like that I don’t even remember now.”

“Your husband sure has a way with words.”

“Was Rollins okay while we were gone?”

“Yeah, I tried to keep her busy so her mind wouldn’t be on Carisi.”

“Good.”

“Speaking of busy, I need you to go see Stone.”

“Why?”

“Henry Phillips is finally getting his day in court.”

“He still won’t take a plea even though we got him on DNA…”

“You’ve been doing this a long time, Izz. You know how it goes. Take Fin with you so you guys can make sure everything is rock solid.”

 

“What’s this?” Izzy asked as Stone handed her a file as soon as she shoved a mint Milano in her mouth.

“Very ladylike, Sergeant,” he laughed.

“Phillips took a deal. Finally.”

“I have you to thank. I don’t know what you did but he finally realized there was no way out. Jury was going to convict for sure.”

“Well you’re welcome, Counselor.”

“Buy you a celebratory cocktail?”

“Raincheck. I’ve been back at work four days and I just want to get home.”

“Got it. Some other time, then.”

“He knows you’re married, right?”

“Who doesn’t know I’m married, Fin? I go out for drinks with you, Nick, even Carisi on occasion. I’ve had drinks with Mike without my husband, too.”

“But that’s different, shorty. We’ve all known each other for how long? You’ve been partnered with each of us at some point. You’ve known Amaro for like 30 years.” 

“14 but close.”

“I’m just saying. This guy is still fresh off the plane from Chicago in my book. The last person he should be trying to buddy up to is a Judge’s wife.”


	101. Chapter 101

“What do you mean you haven’t slept with her yet? You just took a trip with her and you’re telling me nothing happened? I was only kidding about you two staying away from each other.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, Barba,” Carisi said as they sat in Rafael’s home office one night. “I’m just…well…I…”

“Goddamn, Carisi, spit it out already. My 44th birthday will be here before this conversation ends.”

“I’m nervous.”

“Why? Are you virgin?”

“Do you have to laugh? And I’m as much a virgin as you are, Barba.”

“I don’t have to, no. And okay, I was just checking. Never can tell with you kids today.” 

“I’m 6 years younger than you. Okay, how long did you and Izzy wait before you had sex?”

“About two weeks.”

“Seriously? That’s it?”

“You have to think, we flirted for about 4 months leading up to us finally getting together.”

“True. What if I don’t measure up to other guys she’s been with?”

“You’re not the first white man Carmen’s ever dated so if you’re seriously telling me that you buy into the myth that race has anything to do with penis size, any shred of respect I have for you is gone.”

“I’m not exactly huge.”

“Christ I’m gonna hate myself for this. Do you at least have something to work with?”

“Well yeah. I mean I’m average.”

“Okay have you ever had complaints?”

“Directions mostly. But what woman will you tell you if they don’t think you’re big enough?”

“I don’t know, honestly,” Rafael said with his pen in his mouth as he thought about it. “I never had to worry about that.”

“Yes, I’ve heard your wife talk.”

“I know I talk a lot of shit but I wasn’t good in bed or confident overnight.”

“So, you’re not as big as Izzy says,” he laughed.

“Oh, no I am. A lot depends on how you connect with the other person. With Yelina there was a connection but it scratched the surface and barely. After that, I spent a year just fucking and that was it. I didn’t care about looking deep into some eyes and being vulnerable. I just needed a warm body.”

“Damn, Barba.”

“I was in college, I wasn’t trying to be with anyone for more than a night. Of course, that all changed in August of ’95.”

“Were you nervous the first time you guys…”

“Not really but that’s because we had gotten close a few days before that but I didn’t have anything with me. I mean I think we both had something in mind of what we wanted our first time to be like but I think it was better cause it was spontaneous. But if you want to plan something, you’re gonna have to pull out all the stops. Hang on,” he said he took his feet off his desk and went to a file cabinet in one corner of the wall. “That’s not it. That’s not it. Here it is. Take this,” Rafael said as he handed Carisi a case with a silver disc.

“I don’t think a porn of you and my Sergeant is going to help me.”

“You think we make hard copies of any videos we’ve made? Get your head out of your ass. It’s a CD I made like in 97 or 98. When that technology was really catching on.”

“So, what are these are all songs from the 90s?” Carisi scoffed.

“Do you want my help or not?”

“Yes.”

“And the mid to late 90s had some of the best songs for sex. R. Kelly, before we learned way too much about his private life…”

“Bump ‘n Grind is pretty good.”

“That’s on there, some TLC from their second album, fuck I‘m getting old, uh…Janet Jackson Anytime, Anyplace. Usher, LSG, Boyz II Men, Dru Hill, Chris Isaak, you know what song I’m talking about it. This is about an hour of sex on this disk. Izzy and I used to let the CD play and get halfway through before we were finally done.”

“Can I play it?”

“Not in here! And I want it back.”

“It’s just a CD, Barba. Do you actually still use this?”

“No, I have all these on my phone. It’s got sentimental value.”

“Aww, look at you getting all soft.”

“Give it back, asshole. Figure it out on your own.”

“I’m just kidding.”

“Okay. Shut up and listen to me.”

 

Izzy was in the middle of a conversation with Stone and Erin when Carisi came up, wrapped his arms around, and picked her up as her hugged her with the biggest grin. “Uh, Carisi?”

“Your husband is a genius.”

“Don’t let him hear that. What did he do?”

“Ahhh, I can’t say,” he blushed. 

“I’m guessing it was something with Carmen?”

“You could say that.”

“I’ll catch you later, Sergeant. Don’t forget to call Antonio,” Stone laughed. 

“Tell that asshole the phone works both ways.”

“I’ll do that,” he smiled as he turned to walk out.

“Okay, am I the only one that saw that?”

“Saw what, Erin?”

“The way he smiled at you.”

“He was smiling because I called Dawson an asshole. You and Fin need to stop. Liv is off with Noah for a few days so Carisi go with Erin. Fin and Rollins can team up again.”

 

“Okay, so Uncle Nick will be here to get you in about 30 minutes, Emmie. Do you have all your meds?”

“Yes, Mami, I do.”

“I know it’s been a few months but I still worry.”

“I know. It’s fine.”

“So, what is Uncle Nick taking you and Zara to do this weekend?”

“Zara said something about going to Coney Island. We might go swimming.”

“Are you going to be okay with that?”

“Yes. I’ve got my muscle back so I think I’ll be okay.”

“Just call me if not.”

“Mom. Please?”

“You’re right.”

“I’d expect this from Papi,” Emmie joked. 

“Well, I did carry you for a little over 9 months.”

“And what are you going to do while I’m gone this weekend?”

“Papi, Uncle Mike, and Papa Dodds are taking the boys to a Yankees game and I’m going shopping with Aunt Amanda, nosy.”

“You and Aunt Amanda better behave yourselves.”

“Oh, yes ma’am,” Izzy laughed. “I think I hear Uncle…” She cut off by Zara running into Emmie’s room. “I was right.”

“Hey, Aunt Izzy,” Zara said practically out of breath. “Are you ready, Emmie?”

“Yeah. Bye, Mom.”

“Don’t forget to say bye to your Dad.”

“I won’t.”

 

“Okay, what’s going on, Amanda?”

“What do you mean?”

“I usually can’t pull you out of some of these stores and today, you are making me look bad.”

“I guess I’m just not feeling it, Izz. Sorry. I know I asked you to come out with me. Can we go get a drink and maybe something to eat?”

“Sure. Burgers sound okay?”

“Perfect.”

They went to a sports bar not far from where they already were and ordered a couple of drinks and some food. Rafael had sent Izzy a picture of Hudson asleep in Bill’s lap who was just as relaxed as he sat in his seat with his grandson. 

“Sorry, ‘Manda.”

“No, it’s fine. Okay, so there’s been something I’ve been needing to tell you for weeks.”

“Okay, what it is?”

“Okay so last month when you guys were gone on vacation, I was feeling sorry for myself. I went out for drinks with someone. One lead to one more and then one more and then back to his place.”

“I knew you got laid while I was gone. Who was it? It wasn’t Dr. Al?”

“Oh, god no. It was Nick.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, and now I don’t know how to act around him when we’ve all been out.”

“You used to sleep with him all the time.” 

“I know but things are so different now. I started thinking that maybe why I could never make that transition with Carisi, couldn’t really feel comfortable enough with anyone else is because I’ve never gotten over Nick. I mean Declan wanted more and I couldn’t do it.”

“My best advice is…”

“Talk to him. I know. Elizabeth Barba’s sought after advice always ends in ‘talk to him’.”

“I haven’t been wrong yet. Just like with Erin. She finally told Tony she wanted more and he told her he’s wanted more since college. He was just waiting on her to be ready.”


	102. Chapter 102

“So, you guys met in college?”

“That’s correct, Stone,” Izzy told him as they sat in his office. He had only been in Manhattan a few months and had to deal with his dad dying, then his sister with schizophrenia not knowing who was right until a drug cartel they had been after kidnapped her. They had let Peter come with them and Pam recognized him right before she was shot and killed.

“Dawson said that’s how you and Lindsay met, too. I tell you, Hank Voight…she did good to get out of that unit.”

“I know all too well. You really sent him to prison?”

“I did. My opinion is he should’ve stayed there.”

“Dawson told me about Olinsky. That was terrible. The few times I worked with him, he was a good guy. A good cop in my opinion.”

“He was. So, you and Dawson grew up together?”

“Yeah, basically. We went to different elementary schools but ended up in the same junior high and we were friends from then on.”

“He told me that when a couple of girls had cheated on him, you beat the hell out of them?”

“One in 8th grade, the other our junior year. He was too good of a guy. Always has been.”

“So, you and Barba, almost 23 years, huh?”

“In December. God, you have no idea how arrogant I found him the first time we met. He was such a dick.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I can tell you really love him and he really loves you. I mean I haven’t been around him much but the times I have, he lights up when he sees you. I’d like to have that some day.”

“I’m sure you’ll find it, Stone. Just give it time. Ooh, shit. I better get out of here.”

“Didn’t mean to keep you so long, Sergeant.”

“It’s fine. You okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks for taking my mind off of things.”

“I do what I can. Hey, why don’t you come over for dinner?”

“Right now?”

“Yeah. I told Rafael I would pick up Chinese.”

“He won’t mind?”

“Why do think he would?”

“I just don’t get a good vibe from him.”

“His bark is much worse than his bite, Peter. I promise.”

 

“I just don’t know why you invited the pretty boy to dinner,” Rafael whispered as they stood in the kitchen.

“Everyone misses you handling our cases and no one but me and Liv have even given him half of a chance. Honey he admires you so much.”

“I saw the way he was looking at you.”

“And how was that?”

“Like he wanted you.”

“Rafa come on. He just wants friends I think.”

“Yeah, friends with benefits.”

“Baby stop. Now go take him his coffee.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Hey,” Izzy said as she grabbed her husband by his purple suspenders and laid a kiss on him that made him let out a soft moan.

“Uh, okay then.”

“Now get Stone’s coffee.”

“Are we going to finish that later?”

“You know it…Papi.”

A low growl came from his throat as he bit her neck softly. “I’ll try and make friends with him, only for you, mi amor.”

 

“Are we really doing this, Mike?”

“Come on, big brother. You going to tell me you and Izzy can’t use a night out?”

“Yeah but an actual club? Izzy and I haven’t been in a club in years. I’m talking since after Jackson was born. I was still young then.”

“You are only 3 years older than me. Come on.”

“Ugh, fine. Your sister in law will love the fact they play music she likes.”

“We all like this stuff. 80s, 90s, 00s? What’s not to like?”

“How about ‘Err body in the club getting Tipsy’?”

“Okay, I’ll give you that one, bro. So, Saturday night then?”

“Yeah. Sounds good. Hey, who’s all coming?”

“Uh, you, Izz, Carisi, Carmen, Fin, Melinda, Rollins, Amaro, Liv, and a date, I don’t know who, and me and Alice. I think Stone was invited, too?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah. Now, I think. Doesn’t necessarily mean he’s coming.”

 

They were all shocked when Liv walked up hand and hand with Cassidy. They all greeted him and walked into the club that Mike had picked out. Backstreet Boys’ “Quit Playing Games” was playing when they walked in. “I need a fucking drink already,” Rafael scoffed as he grabbed Mike to make a beeline for the bar.

“Aww, look at the brothers Dodds’,” Amanda laughed.

“Zip it, Rollins,” Izzy scolded.

Rafael and Mike found the group at a table not too far from the bar or dance floor. They came with beers for everyone. Izzy couldn’t help but admire her husband in his all black ensemble. Black jeans, a black Henley, and his black leather jacket. His hair wasn’t neatly parted and gelled down, it was swopped over wildly. She was doing everything she could not to just grab his dick under the table. It sure didn’t help that he hadn’t shaved in a little over a week. She did her best to sort of match him in her leather skirt that was longer on her right leg than her left, the short sleeved white button-up and her black knee high boots. 

“Remember this song, mi amor?” Rafael whispered when Monifah’s hit from 1998 “Touch It” started playing.

“Yes, I do,” she said as she took her bottom lip in her mouth. 

He didn’t say a word as he grabbed her by the hand and took her to the dance floor. Dirty dancing wasn’t even the way to describe what they were doing. He had spun her around, rubbing his half erect cock against her ass as they grinded in sync to the song. He had her enveloped in his arms while he kept pressing his half hard dick against his wife as he pulled her hair.

“What the fuck was that,” Nick laughed when they got back to the table.

“Come on, Nick. You’re Cuban.”

“No, Barba, I get it but damn! Why don’t you guys just go in the bathroom and get it over with?”

“Now, what fun would that be, Amaro,” Izzy laughed.

A few drinks and dances later everyone had kind of scattered into different corners. Izzy and Rollins went off to play darts. “Can I join you ladies?”

“Sure, Stone. Izzy is beating my ass anyways,” Rollins said as she handed him her darts. Izzy couldn’t help but have fun with Stone. She knew he just wanted to be accepted. Rafael didn’t see it that way. He saw his wife laughing and having fun with Stone, which made his blood boil. He had never been very jealous when it came to Izzy. He knew she loved him but he still had insecurities after almost 23 years. He downed a few more shots of tequila with Carisi and Amaro while keeping his eye on his wife and Stone. All hell broke loose when Stone hugged Izzy after they won a bet against two college aged guys in darts.

“What the fuck, man?” Rafael said as he pushed Stone.

“Hey, Barba, it’s all cool here, man.”

“No, the fuck it isn’t. I saw you.”

“Rafa you’re drunk.”

“Shut the fuck up, Izzy. You want him?”

“What are you talking about?”

She couldn’t even gather her thoughts before Rafael grabbed Stone. “That’s my piece of ass. Go find your own!”

“Excuse me?! Is that all I am?” Izzy was dumbfounded by what her husband had said. Carisi and Nick had pulled Barba away from Stone and he had a minute to think about what he had said. Izzy’s eyes filled with tears that couldn’t be stopped. Fin had come over after seeing the small altercation. 

“What did I tell you, shorty?”

“I know, Fin. Stone just hugged me.”

“Yeah but Barba didn’t see it that way.”

“I just need to get out of here.”

Nick and Carisi still had a hold of Barba as Izzy left. She cried the whole 23 blocks to their apartment. She had never seen Rafael act like that. The tequila sure didn’t help matters but her degree in psychology told her different. She was in the master bathroom, taking out the two sets of diamond earrings out, and Lina’s necklace off her neck when she was surprised by her husband. “How could you humiliate me like that?”

“What?”

“I saw you hugging him…”

“Rafael stop.”

“You want Stone, don’t you?”

“Absolutely not! We’re friends like I’m friends with Nick, Fin, Dawson, or Carisi! What is going on with this?”

“You seriously going to tell me that you don’t find him attractive?”

“No, I don’t. Hey, look at me,” she said as she cupped his face in her hand, “Rafa, you are the only man I’ve ever wanted for the last almost 23 years. You are so handsome, hey look at me, you are so sexy, so beautiful inside and out. You’ve been more than I could’ve ever hoped for in a husband and father to our kids,” she told him as she brought his face to hers so she could kiss him. “If my friendship with Stone is going to be a problem then I’ll end it. You are my husband, my best friend.”

“I know,” he shrugged. “I just worry because I’m already going gray and you look like you’re 30, married to an old man.”

“Really? You aren’t that gray and so what about what anyone thinks when they see us walking down the street? We know the truth. If you think you look old then we need to throw out all the mirrors in this house cause they are fucked up. Besides, I like the gray in your hair, including on your face. It makes you look distinguished.”

“You think so, Mami?”

“I know so, Papi,” she smiled as he came in for a kiss, grabbing her by her ass to sit her on the bathroom counter. She was trying hard to get him excited. “Exactly how many shots of tequila did you have,” she laughed.

“A few too many, apparently. Can I make it up to you in the morning?”

“You bet, baby. Come on, let’s get in bed.”


	103. Chapter 103

Izzy woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon and coffee. 

“You’re finally up,” Rafael laughed as she walked into the kitchen.

“What’s all this?”

“Sort of an apology for last night. I paid the price for sure.”

“Oh, I heard. How are you feeling?”

“Physically? Okay now. Remind to never let Nick and Carisi talk me into that again. Other than that, I’m pretty embarrassed.”

“I think Stone will be fine.”

“I’m not talking about him. I’m embarrassed for what I said to you and about you. That came from a place I don’t want to revisit.”

“But you know there’s nothing…”

“You don’t know the things I do about him.”

“What do you mean? How could know anything about him? Did you check into him?”

“I didn’t have to. The information was passed onto me. Look, I don’t want to fight this morning. Will you just trust me? Keep your relationship professional. For me if nothing else.”

“Okay.”

“I know you’ve never really had many female friends but…”

“I said it’s fine,” she smiled. “Now where’s my breakfast?”

“I’ll bring it to you. Go sit down,” he said as he tried to kiss her but she stopped him. “What’s wrong?”

“I heard you…”

“And I think you know how I am after I throw up. Come on,” he said as he rolled his eyes.

“Okay.”

“Nope the moments passed. I’ll get your breakfast.”

 

“Goddamn, that was amazing!!” Rafael said as he collapsed on his pillow after a very rigorous 30 minutes of love making after breakfast. “I told you I’d make it up to you.”

“You certainly…did. Still worried that you’re getting old?”

“Not at…all.”

“Good. Shit.”

“Who is it?”

“Rollins.”

“What does she want?”

“She needs to talk to me.”

“Ugh, we have a few hours without our kids this morning. Can’t we just have a little bit of time alone?”

“I’ll meet her later,” Izzy said as she laid on his chest, running her fingers through his chest hair. “Remember in our lazy weekends in college?”

“We weren’t exactly lazy,” he laughed. “But yeah I remember. That one weekend your Sophomore year, 9 times in one day.”

“I definitely remember that.”

 

“Sorry, I’m late, Rollins,” Izzy said as she ran up to meet Amanda near her apartment. “Are you okay?”

“You’re a few minutes while I’m 3 weeks late,” she said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yeah. I just took four test.”

“Who’s the father?”

Amanda just kind of looked down.

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Can I handle another baby? I mean I thought that if I got pregnant again, at least I’d be in a committed relationship or even married. Look, don’t tell anyone. Not even Barba. Please?”

“Of course, Amanda. I won’t say anything.”

“Thanks.”

 

“Everything okay, Izz?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, Fin.”

“Come with me to the breakroom for minute.”

“Okay.”

“Look, I know you want to see the best in everyone and make everyone feel included but Stone needs to earn his place here, just like Barba did.”

“I know. Rafael told me that he knew stuff about Stone.”

“That might be because of me.”

“What do you mean?”

“When he came here, I called Antonio to ask what kind of guy he was. Not personally really, just wanting to see if he’d fit in around here. Dawson worked for him, you know, so I figured he could give me some information.”

“And?”

“One thing Dawson said to me was to keep you away from Stone.”

“Why?”

“He has a thing for married women. He likes the challenge and then lack of commitment. I mean I’m not saying he was trying with you but he was always calling for you to bring stuff to his office. I told Barba. I mean, maybe I shouldn’t have but…”

“No, it’s fine, Fin. You or Dawson could’ve at least told me, though.”

“I know that, shorty. You’re usually a pretty good judge of character. I thought you would sniff it out.”

“I guess I just never got that vibe from him. It doesn’t matter though. After the other night, I told Carisi not to invite him out with us.”

“That’s probably for the best for a little bit anyways. So, we good?”

“Of course. I can’t be mad at you for trying to warn me.”

“I promised your husband that I’d still have your back after Nick left. You know I don’t break promises.”


	104. Chapter 104

“Aren’t you supposed to be on mother duty,” Rafael laughed as Liv walked up to him at the bar at Forlini’s.

“Noah is spending time with Brian, actually. Thought it would be good for them.”

“And how’s that going?”

“It’s, uh, going. I don’t know where it’s going,” she said as she took a sip of the cabernet she had ordered.

“And why’s that?”

“Remember everything with Lewis?”

“Unfortunately.”

“You know, you’re the only person that knows the truth about what happened.”

“You never told Cassidy?”

“I just…I never could. I mean I went against everything…”

“And he never has? My wife has gone against protocol more than once in her 15 years on the force.”

“We all have but it was always like I was scared of how he’d see me after that.”

“No one expects you to be Wonder Woman, Liv.”

“I do. I mean I don’t know how to let someone in, all the way.”

“I know that song all too well.”

“What do you mean?”

“How much do you really know about me?”

“Uh, I know you went to Harvard and Harvard Law. You met Izzy during your junior year of college, basically became her best friend until you two got together. You guys were married in 2002, Emersyn was born in 2005, followed by Jackson in 2006. You’re an only child, grew up in the Bronx. Didn’t have a good relationship with your father. Hudson was born in 2015, uh…”

“So, you know the basics. The only person that truly knows every single thing about me is…”

“Your wife.”

“Right but it wasn’t like I just started telling her things as soon as we got together, especially when it came to my childhood. I didn’t actually let her in on that until we had been together about a year. It was almost two years before I let her in further about my previous relationships.”

“Why did it take you so long? I mean you told me you knew you wanted to marry her within the first few months you were together?”

“Well, unlike me, she had the dad that supported e very decision her or her brother made. She couldn’t possibly understand my life. Right?”

“Right.”

“Thing is, I didn’t need her to understand. I just needed her to listen to me. It didn’t matter how different our upbringings were, I just needed to know that she heard me. I was scared yeah, but I didn’t need to be really. None of it ever changed how she felt about me. There’s nothing wrong with letting your guard down.”

Liv sat and contemplated what she had just been told. It made sense actually. Brian and her had been together then apart, then together. He stood by her during everything with William Lewis and never tried to leave her. He hated the fact that he had been the one to investigate her for child abuse. “Well, Barba. I think I’m gonna go home,” she said as she started to pull money from her pocket.

“Go, I got it. I’m gonna be here for a little bit.”

“Sentencing tomorrow for Wilkins?”

“Yep.”

“Well, don’t stay out too late. Your wife I’m sure wants you home.”

“Yeah, it’s almost my curfew,” he said as he rolled his eyes. 

“She just cares about you.”

“I know. I’m lucky to have to someone that does. Not everybody gets that, you know?”

 

“Have you told him yet?”

“I’m still not ready,” Rollins told Izzy as they ate lunch. “I feel bad because I told Liv and you. I haven’t even told Fin.”

“Don’t you think he’s going to find out eventually?” 

“Maybe,” she shrugged. “I mean I still have a little bit of time to make a decision of what to do. If I go one way, he never has to know.”

“But if you go the other way…”

Amanda just kind of sat there, running the same French fry through the pile of ketchup on her plate. “I’ve got to figure this out. I just don’t know if I can do it all over again, be a single mother with two kids. I mean Declan pops up here and there to see Jesse but it’s not enough.”

“Maybe you wouldn’t be a single mother. I mean, at least the father of this one is in New York.”

“People move though. Things change, people change.”

 

“Hudson, I thought I said no!”

“But Papi!”

“No, sir. You don’t color on the wall. Your mother is going to flip out when she gets home,” Izzy could hear her husband say as she walked in one evening.

“Hey guys. What’s going on?”

“Picasso here decided to draw you a picture, Mami.”

“No, I didn’t!”

“Then who did?”

“I telled you, Papi. Lily did it.”

Their 13-year-old dachshund turned and looked at her name being called, almost like she knew she being wrongly accused.

“Nice try, mijo.”

“Mami?”

“You know better, Hudson. Now you’re going to help me clean this up.”

“I’ll clean it, mi amor. I should’ve been keeping a better eye on him, especially after we asked if he could do it and I told him no. I should’ve known better. Didn’t Emersyn and Jackson blame the dog, too?”

“Yes, we did,” Emersyn laughed she walked down the hall.

“There’s your answer. You guys already eat?”

“Yeah, dinner’s waiting on you.”

“Thank you. Let me know if you need any help.”

“Mami can I ask you something?” Emersyn asked as she grabbed a water and a small snack while Izzy heated up her dinner.

“Sure.”

“When did Nonna and Papa let you start dating?”

“Uh, well, that depends I guess. I could go out on so-called group dates when I was about your age but I was about 15, I think when I could go out with a boy alone. Why do you ask?”

“Well, we’ve never really talked about when I could do stuff like that. Papi just gave me the okay to wear make-up this year.”

“Well, like everything else, we’d have to talk to him.”

“Ugh, Mami, you know…”

“And you know why he’s like that. You are his only daughter and his first born.”

“I know,” she said as she rolled those green eyes she inherited from her father. “Was Papa like that with you?”

“Yep. It was probably worse because not only was I the only girl but I was the youngest.”

“When did he loosen up?”

“When I married your dad. No, actually probably when I went off to college. He knew he had to let go then. Sometimes though I think Papi did have something to do with it. He was the only boyfriend your grandfather ever liked.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Why do you think that was?”

“I think part of it was because your dad had a good head on his shoulders, part because he knew how much I loved your dad, and part because of how your dad treated me, even before we started dating.”

 

“Amaro joining us?” Mike asked as he sat at a table with Carisi and Rafael for their weekly night out.”

“I’m not sure, Mike. Izzy talked to him earlier today but he didn’t say anything to her about it.”

“So, I heard Stone has asked that you don’t preside over any of his cases,” Carisi laughed.

“And McCoy told him he didn’t have a choice. Hell, it’s been a month. He can get the fuck over it. I know he was trying to sleep with my wife.”

“I still can’t believe what Fin said. I would’ve never guessed he’d be like that.”

“He was professional baseball player, Carisi. How could you be surprised?” Mike scoffed.

“Yeah and not only that, he was bragging to some ADA about taking home not one but two women one night from what Amaro said.”

“Now that I could believe.”

“My wife things he has some sort of issues that cause him to behave like that.”

“Is she still friends with him?”

“Fuck no, Mike. Liv handles him. She doesn’t Izzy over there anymore.”

“So, what do you think, Barba?”

“I think I should’ve never married a Psychology major,” he joked. “No, I told her I really didn’t give a shit. He was trying to get close to her, and not like any of you guys are close to her.”

“But what if, just to play devil’s advocate, what if he really wasn’t?”

“Carisi how many times do I have to tell you I hate that phrase?”

“Sorry, Barba but seriously.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want him near my wife. It’s that simple.”

“You really think she’d do something like that?”

“I don’t know, Mike. Honestly I don’t. I mean I know she loves me but who am I compared to the former pro ball player? I’m 5’8 and some change, a prick, I’m arrogant. My hair’s turning gray, well not as gray as Carisi’s…”

“Thanks for that, Barba.”

“You look at my wife and don’t see you her with somebody more athletic?”

“I’ve seen your wedding pictures and I see her with you,” Mike told his step-brother. 

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Amaro said as he sat down and ordered a drink. “So, did you guys know Rollins is pregnant?”

“Yeah,” they all said.

“What’s the big deal?”

“Do you know who the father is, Carisi?”

“I would assume that doctor she dated a few months ago.”

“Yeah, well it’s not. It’s me.”


	105. Chapter 105

Mike, Rafael, and Carisi just kind of looked at each other; none of them knowing what to say. It seemed as if Carisi and Mike were waiting to follow Barba. He rolled his eyes and finally spoke. “So, congratulations?”

“You didn’t know I was the father?”

“Izzy hasn’t said anything to me, I swear. So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I mean she told me she’s keeping it, which it’s her body, her decision but she more or less told me to fuck off.”

“Damn, man.”

“It’s not going to be that easy to keep me out of my child’s life. Sorry. You’ll represent me like you did with Gil, won’t you, Barba?”

“Uh, I mean, I can try.”

“Maybe it won’t get like that, Nick.”

“You know how hard headed she is, Carisi.”

“Wait when did you guys get together?”

“It’s been a couple of months ago. We went out for drinks and that was it.”

“It’s gonna work out for the best.”

“Yeah, we’ll see, Dodds,” Nick said as he downed his whiskey.

 

Nick and Mike ended leaving a little while later. Rafael was about to pay his tab and do the same when he noticed Carisi just kind of staring at his beer. “You okay, man?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Barba.”

“We all knew she was pregnant.”

“I know.”

Rafael knew he couldn’t leave the detective that had been a thorn in his side many times in the last 4 years so he ordered another drink and sat back down. “Do you still have feelings for her?”

“No, it’s nothing like that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You know, I’m actually relieved that Nick’s the father. That doctor…he wasn’t good to her at all.”

“Izzy told me. At least we all know Amaro will be there for her, if she’ll let him.”

“You’d really represent Nick against your wife’s best friend?”

“If it comes down to it, yeah. You think it’s right for to push Nick away? What does Murphy do for Jesse?”

“He shows up once or twice a year. Sends money when he can.”

“We all know Amaro is the total opposite.”

“Yeah but Gil…”

“You weren’t here then. He had no idea about him.”

“No, I know. Well, she’s a big girl.”

“So, what about you and Carmen?”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Oh, why not. You’re going to anyways.”

“I’m in love with her.”

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely. I never thought I’d feel this way about someone. I never felt this way about anyone.”

“Does she know this?”

“Not yet. I’m taking her to meet my parents this weekend.”

“Fuck it’s been long enough, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I know but I don’t take girls home. How many did you?”

“3. Lauren, Yelina, and Izzy. My family already knew Yelina actually so I guess that doesn’t count. But anyone I casually dated, no. So, yeah, I get it.”

“I think this could be it, Barba.”

“Good for you. Just a little warning before you do something to put her on maternity leave.”

 

“Heard Mark Jefferies was able to help get Gabriella Sosa reunited with her mother and her mother has been granted asylum,” Rafael said as he walked in to find his wife laying on the couch, watching TV.

“Yep. Heard a certain judge helped call in a favor to a circuit judge to get it pushed through.”

“Really? Wow. Nice of him to take time out of his busy schedule to do that for someone he never met.”

“I’d say so,” she smiled.

“This current administration…I’ve never understood how anyone could be okay tearing apart families. What does the statue of liberty say? I mean, we’re the grandchildren of immigrants. I couldn’t just sit back and not do something.”

“Well, thank you. Really.”

“Liv said Stone wasn’t too happy about her having you arrest that agent.”

“From what I understand no.”

“I told him if he was going to serve your unit in my place, then he needs to be prepared for things like this to come up. You guys don’t just deal with sex crimes.”

“When did you talk to Stone?”

“When he came to my chambers to thank me, actually.”

“Oh.”

“He also apologized and told me he had no romantic intentions toward you.”

“He actually said that? How did…Carisi.”

“That’s what I figured. He’s worse than you about wanting to see the best in people.”

“That’s not always terrible, Rafa.”

“I guess not. You did choose to see the best in me,” he laughed as he rubbed her legs. 

“Haven’t stopped. Even when you’re a jealous asshole at times. I still know that you mean well.”

“Always,” he smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Rafa. Why don’t you go eat your dinner that’s waiting on you while I go check on the kids one more time.”

“And then what?”

“I don’t know. Just come in the bedroom and you’ll find out.”

“Do I have to eat?”

“You’ll need your strength, Your Honor.”

His green eyes narrowed as he bit his bottom lip. “A little preview, cariño?”

“A small one,” she said as she pulled him in for a kiss. That perfect hair of his no longer was as her tongue lightly massaged his as his hands traveled down to her ass.

“So, okay. Go check on the kids. I don’t know how I’m gonna eat with this.”

“I don’t think it’s gonna get in your way.”

 

“You know else I love about you,” he asked as they laid together after having sex one night.

“What?”

“The way you cry at movies that you shouldn’t cry at, like ‘The Godfather III’ when Michael dies alone, ‘Lethal Weapon 2’ when Riggs gets shot at the end.”

“It’s sad though.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t okay for you to feel that way. I love how you make time for everybody in your life whether it’s me and the kids, or Erin, Amanda, or Nick. You always want to make sure that everyone that’s important to you always knows that they are. You take care of everyone you love and I love you for it. You put up with me when I get all insecure, even though in December we will be married 16 years and together 23. I love how you have always pushed me to be the best version of myself I can be. You probably never realized that you do that but you do. Always have.”

“What brought this on?”

“It’s been a wild couple of months, I know. I’ve felt so guilty over that night we went out still. I hate when I’ve hurt you with my words. I don’t always think…”

“Rafa,” she started as she turned toward him, “you don’t think I know that sometimes you don’t think before you speak.”

“I know but seeing you cry because of something I’ve said or did kills me. I have never wanted to be the reason you cry.”

“Honey we’ve been together so long, it’s bound to happen. It’s not like you’ve made it a regular thing.”

“I know.”

She started kissing him as they laid face to face. “I love you, so much, cariño.”

“I love you, too. What are you doing?”

“I’m ready to go again,” he said with that smirk.

“One time a night.”

“My blood pressure and cholesterol meds have been lowered, I’m healthy.”

“Ugh, you can be pretty persuasive when you want to be,” she giggled as he kissed her neck.

“I haven’t heard you complain in 23 years.”


	106. Chapter 106

Izzy walked into her husband’s home office after getting Hudson to bed and making sure the other two were finishing their homework after dinner one in October. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, just looking at something,” he said as he looked up with a smile.

“What? Wow, our wedding album, huh?”

“Yeah. You don’t look like you’ve aged a day.”

“I’m about to be 42. I was 26 then. Nice try,” she laughed.

“I did everything I could to not break down when I saw you. The closer you got to me, the harder it was.”

“I remember. I saw you and then I couldn’t stop myself either.”

“I wanted that minister to just hurry up. I wanted to put the ring on your finger and kiss my wife.”

“You were impatient that whole day.”

“I was just ready for it to be official. It had been exactly 7 years since we first kissed that day.”

“How can I forget? You were coming to save me.”

“That guy thought he was smooth. I’m just glad I was able to get you before he got back. I would’ve never forgiven myself.”

“And in the short time it took you to get to me, you came up with the plan to kiss me hoping that would scare him off?”

“I had no idea what I was going to do,” he chuckled. “I had tried to kiss you before that, after you were well again after your Thanksgiving cold.”

“I remember. You had helped me study for a test I had coming up.”

“That you really didn’t the help need for, I might add.”

“So? You still came over.”

“I just wanted to spend time with you. You walked me downstairs after we were finished. I finally decided I was going to make my move after three months, I took your hand to pull you close to me, and you hugged me. I thought I will be ‘friendzoned’ forever.”

“I knew what you were trying to do. I got nervous at the last minute.”

“That night at the bar, I thought, ‘well I’ll at least get to kiss her once’ right before I did. You saw what you were missing though.”

“Rafa!”

He looked up with that smile she couldn’t resist. 

“I believe I’m the one that initiated the next kiss to get you to shut up.”

“And we’ve been together ever since.”

“Would you change anything?”

“No, mi amor, I wouldn’t. I think everything we’ve been through just made us stronger. Even those almost two weeks we were broke up in 96. I mean that taught me that I couldn’t take things out on you and expect everything to be okay afterwards.”

“I hated those two weeks.”

“I hated that empty seat next to me in that political science class.”

She bent down and kissed him. His hands rested on her waist as he stood up and grabbed his phone. Norah Jones’ “Come Away With Me” started playing. It was the song they shared their first dance to as husband and wife. He kicked his desk chair to roll away so he’d have enough room to dance with her behind his desk.

 

“No, come on, Carisi! How can you call yourself an American if you’ve never been shitfaced at a shitty diner, eating breakfast at 3am.”

“Izzy’s right,” Fin laughed. “It’s like a right of passage. My place was always the nearest Waffle House.”

“Ew, Fin! They don’t even clean their silverware. You could catch something!”

“I’m still here aren’t I, Carisi?”

“Barely, I’m assuming.”

The detectives, minus Rollins who had a doctor’s appointment that morning, were sitting around really earning their paychecks that day. 

“What’s with the look, Izz?”

She looked up from her phone after reading a text from her cousin Angela. “Well, apparently RSVP’ing back to a wedding invite ‘maybe next time’ isn’t the correct response. Who knew?”

“You didn’t, Sarge?”

“Carisi my cousin is going on her third marriage. What the hell does she expect? People want to complain that gay people are ruining the so-called sanctity of marriage then you have people like my cousin that gets married for a few years and decides of fixing her marriage, she’ll just get a new one like it’s a fucking car. Her ex-husbands have been nothing but good to her.”

“You’ve never thought about getting a divorce when things have gotten rough with you and Barba?”

“Nope. I’ve contemplated murder but never divorce. Chris Rock said it best, if you ain’t ever contemplated murder, then you ain’t been in love.”

“Hey, what are you guys talking about?” Amanda asked as she walked up.

“Murder vs divorce.”

“Sorry I missed it, Erin.”

“So, everything okay?”

“Yeah. Everything looks good, Izz.”

“You want something to drink?”

“Uh, sure,” she said as she followed Izzy to the breakroom. 

“Amanda what are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were worried about being a single mom and Nick is trying but you won’t let him. You don’t have to be together but let him help you, let him be there for you.”

“And then he decides one day that he wants to move somewhere again. Then what? I’m in the same position as I am with Jesse. My kids both deserve better than that and from now on, that’s what they’ll get. Thanks for the water.”

 

“Okay, so Mami and I have talked about this, Emersyn. We will let you go with Eric for pizza and a movie since his parents will be there.”

“Really?”

“You are to be home no later than 9:30. You’re only 13 and I think that curfew is more than fair and Eric’s parents agree.”

“Okay, Papi.”

“He can come over on the afternoons that I only have sentencing hearings cause I’m usually home by 3 or when Mami has days off during the week but you will not be allowed in your room.”

“But Mami had…”

“The only boy that was allowed in my room when I was your age was your Uncle Antonio because Papa and Nonna knew we were just friends, so don’t go there.”

“Plus, things were different when Mami and I were your age. There is too big of emphasis on sex and it’s geared toward your age group. It wasn’t like that in the late 80s.”

“Papi’s right. We didn’t have the pressure kids today do when it comes to sex.”

“I’m gonna get sick if you guys keep talking about sex.”

“Here,” Rafael said taking his waste basket from under his desk and handing it to his daughter, who was being dramatic, much like her father was prone to do. “We’re not talking about having sex. We are talking about sex in general. We live in a society that over sexualizes teenagers. Do you remember the case we had that started out with a ‘rainbow party’ at Tribeca Academy a few years ago?”

“Yeah,” she said as she rolled her eyes. “Mami sat me down and had a long talk with me about…sex.”

“A lot of those kids at that party were 14. You see my point?”

“Yes, and just for the record, I’m only in the eighth grade and anything like that is far, far away on my to-do list. I promise.”

“Fine. Go finish your homework.”

Emersyn got up and went to her room.

“Are you okay with this, Rafael?”

“No but what can I do?”

“Say no.”

“I could but it’s going to happen sometime. I’d rather she at least be chaperoned the first few times. Besides, after everything she’s been through since last year, I’m actually glad to see she’s enjoying things again. It was a rough road for her. I can’t tell you how many times I thought we were going to lose her, either her body would give out or her mind would win. I’m glad I was wrong.”

“So am, I, Raf.”

 

So, another thing we need to discuss. The dog.”

“I know.”

“Mi amor she’s old and you know what the doctor said. She’s had a good life.”

“I know she has. I still remember when she arrived.”

“You were so depressed after your miscarriage. I just wanted to see you smile.”

“Her paws were as big as her head,” Izzy laughed, clearly exaggerating. “She used to get Emersyn’s blanket and take off down the hall, end up wrapped up in it. She was so clumsy when she was a puppy.”

“How many ties of mine did she ruin?”

“That was your fault.”

“I think she only really ruined two. We need to make a decision, cariño. We can’t keep letting her suffer.”

“I know.”


	107. Chapter 107

“Is Carmen going to be safe in the kitchen with Erin, Amanda, Alice, Sarge, and the Lieutenant?”

“Carisi my wife has a name as does your Lieutenant.”

“It’s hard for me to break that when we’re not at work, Barba. Jeez.”

“I’m sure they’d be okay being called Liv and Izzy or Benson and Rossetti.”

“I’ve never called Izzy ‘Rossetti’,” Mike laughed. “It’s either Izzy or ‘Barba’.”

“Is Fin coming?” Brian asked as he popped one of the many snacks that been prepared for their get together at the Barba’s one weekend at the beginning of November.

“Uh, I think so. I think Amaro was meeting him somewhere.”

“Amaro’s coming?”

“Talk to your sister in law, Mike. She practically begged him until he just got tired of listening to her. Trust me, I know that feeling,” Rafael joked.

“What about Rollins?”

“My wife is tired of being in the middle, Tony. In her words, they can either figure out a way to work things out or they can wake up in the trunk of a car. Your sister is crazy enough to do that shit. Carisi I bet that’s Nick and Fin at the door.”

“Really?”

“Well, you’re closer to the door.”

“And you’re closer to the floor. So?”

They couldn’t help but laugh at Carisi’s burn. “Just get the fucking door. Talking shit in my house? Motherfucker must be drunk already.”

 

“You didn’t tell me Nick was gonna be here,” Amanda said as she peaked her head out of the kitchen door.

“So?”

“Izz.”

“Amanda he’s just here to have a good time.”

“Okay. Fine.”

“It wouldn’t kill you to talk to him.”

“Izzy.”

“Okay,” she said as threw her hand ups. “Erin turn the music on.”

“Am I the only one that loves Apple Music? I mean it’s the best. You can put in a year and there’s all kinds of playlists.”

“Well, pick one,” Liv laughed.

“The 90s?”

“Sounds good.”

“Can I ask you guys something?” Carmen said after a few glasses of wine.

“Turn down the music, Erin. What’s up Carmen?” Izzy asked.

“Okay, I don’t mean this to sound bad but you are older than me so I figure you’d have more helpful opinions than my other friends.”

“Oh god, you can tell she dates Carisi,” Liv laughed. 

“Liv stop. You’ve been around me too long,” Izzy chuckled. “So, what’s up?”

“Do you guys ever engage in…dirty talk?”

“Oh yeah,” Liv said before anyone else could answer.

“Uh-oh! Cassidy!!!”

“Shh! Erin!”

“Somebody called me?” Brian said as he stuck his head in the kitchen door.

“Nevermind,” Izzy said as she pushed him back out. “Lieutenant.”

“Oh, like you and Barba don’t? I’ve seen text messages when you’ve left your phone open while you’ve ran to the breakroom.”

“Nosy bitch.”

“Well you’re phone kept buzzing. It was hard for me not look down. You two should be ashamed for talking like that during work.”

“We’re not. Anyways, Carmen, what are you wanting to know?”

“Well, Sonny started the other night and I just didn’t know how to respond.”

“Did you stay quiet?”

“No, Lieu…Liv. I wasn’t quiet but it was just generic responses. I mean, I’ve never been with someone that was willing to be that open.”

“Men love it, though. Mike really does. All you gotta do is talk about how big they are. It doesn’t matter if they’re not just tell them they are. Once you can get that out, the rest falls into place.”

“Alice! Are you saying that Mike is…”

“No, Izzy,” she told her sister in law. “I’ve been with guys that had a dick like a gherkin but I could tell them different, it wouldn’t matter. You’d think they were John Holmes.”

“Oh, I don’t need to go into labor,” Amanda said through her tears. 

“You know when it’s best is when you’re on top and in control. Pull his hair back, tell him to look at you, don’t give him any power.”

“I’m starting to feel sorry for Cassidy,” Izzy laughed. 

 

“They have to be talking about sex with the laughter coming from my kitchen,” Rafael said as he took a drink of his bourbon that Nick had brought.

“Speaking of…”

“Oh here we go,” Mike laughed as he interrupted Carisi.

“It never fails.”

“Okay, Mike, Nick, let’s hear him out so we can hold his hand as per usual,” Barba scoffed.

“Nevermind.”

“Okay, okay. We’re just kidding. What is it, Carisi?”

“Okay, things are great with me and Carmen. They really are but I’ve been wanting to try…different stuff.”

“Like what? Anal?” Nick asked.

“Well, I don’t know…maybe. I’ve never done that before.”

“Never?”

“No, Barba. Never.”

“Wait…are you saying you have? Are you saying you have done that to my sister?”

“Shit, Tony I forgot you were here.”

“I can’t believe you have violated my sister like that.”

“Me? You have done that to Erin and when we were in college! Your sister and I didn’t try that until…after one of the first two kids were born. I don’t even remember which.”

“Alice and I do it,” Mike offered up, shocking them all.

“I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I will never understand white people,” Fin laughed.

“Look, before you even attempt something like that, you need to have a talk. No woman wants that as a surprise,” Nick told him.

“No shit. If I would’ve ‘surprised’ my wife with that, I’d be dead. And it doesn’t have to be about that. Take her by surprise in the shower or even the kitchen.”

“You realize you’re telling him how to screw your assistant.”

“No, Cassidy. I’m telling him how to screw his girlfriend that I don’t know. Holy shit. Do I hear Ricky Martin?”

“Funny. We’re talking about sex and they’re listening to ‘She Bangs’. Irony at its finest,” Mike said as he finished his 3rd glass of bourbon.

“Oh my god. I’m having a war flashback.”

“What are you talking about, Tony?” Fin laughed.

“Have you guys ever seen his honor and my sister dance?”

“Yes!” They all said with laughter. Rafael just shrugged.

“Okay, so I’m not the only one that thinks they’re basically having sex when they dance.”

“They do get nasty.”

“Fuck off, Nick.”

“Your brother in law’s right, Barba. You two don’t even think when you dance.”

“Jealous you don’t have my moves, Amaro?”

“Anyways, we go out one night and that song comes on. You would’ve thought they had rehearsed the whole thing to begin with but on top of that, it was simulated sex right in front of me.”

Rafael just laughed. He really couldn’t respond.

 

“Oh, you guys are kidding.”

“No, Alice. The other night we’re…doing our thing and all of sudden Rafael jumps…he says, ‘what the hell’?! And there’s Hudson, peaking up from the end of our bed.”

“He had tickled your foot?”

“Yes, Nick. We just put the dog to sleep two weeks ago so I knew it wasn’t her. It scared me to death! Then he goes, ‘whatcha doing, Papi’? I didn’t think ‘your mother’ was the appropriate response.”

“How did he get in there without you guys noticing?” Liv asked through her tears.

“He was sneaky. You guys know our master bathroom has a door that leads to the hall. The little punk snuck in that way. It’s only been 7 months since my heart attack. I’m convinced he’s trying to kill me.”

“That is by far the best story of 2018. Hands down,” Fin said.

They were all laughing so hard at that story. “Well, Noah thought we were arguing the other night.”

“Oh, we’ve had that happen, too, Cassidy. Rafael was quick enough to say I was having a bad dream.”

“See, Bri! I told you that’s all we had to say.”

“It worked on Jackson. But Hudson is the only one that has actually been in the room while we were doing it. Just thank god it wasn’t one of those nights where I was just…”

“You were just what, Barba?”

“Nevermind, Tony,” he laughed. “We weren’t being loud. How’s that?”

“Good enough, I suppose.”


	108. Chapter 108

“Oh god, Raf. Just like that. Right there,” Izzy moaned as Rafael slid his huge dick in and out of her one night. 

“You like that, cariño?” He said with that smirk. Her nails dug into his back as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer, as if that was even possible.

“Faster, baby,” she begged to which he obliged. “Oh, god!!”

He put his hand over her mouth. “I thought I told you about that screaming?” He said sternly as he kept going. She was still screaming his name, although it was muffled. He finally replaced his hand with his mouth as his tongue dove into her mouth keeping her as quiet as it could. He couldn’t take it anymore. “Fuck, I’m right there, Elizabeth.”

“Just…a…little…longer…Raf.”

“I can’t…mi amor. Oh god!” He shouted as he came inside of her. “Uh…fuck,” he continued while his hips kept stuttering until he was finally empty. She had an orgasm earlier from him going down on her but she was a little shocked that she didn’t get one from intercourse like usual. He just couldn’t hold on any longer. “I am so sorry, cariño.”

“For what?”

“Not getting you there.”

“It’s fine, love. I got one earlier,” she smiled.

“I know but you usually get two or three. I’m that good.”

“Rafael.”

“You made me that good, mi amor. Come here.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“Uh, I guess.”

“Sit on my face. How’s that?”

“Oh! Raf…”

“You’re getting at least two tonight. Now get up here.”

She did what he said, resting her knees on his shoulders as he grabbed her ass to pull her closer to his face. “Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“You know you just came inside of me?”

“And? It’s just me. You kiss me all the time after you come on my face,” he said as his tongue licked a straight line between her lips to her clit where he settled on. The small circles his tongue was making drove her insane. She couldn’t but thrust herself into him as he pleased her. Her hands grabbed his hair but not too hard as he kept going to insure his wife was satisfied. He took one of his long fingers and put it inside of her as his tongue continued its mission. Next thing she knew, that very wet finger was making its way inside her ass, causing a sensation to through her that she hadn’t felt in a long time. 

“God, Raf, I’m about to…oh, oh, oh, I’m….” she couldn’t even finish as her knees locked against his head. He kept going until she got quiet.

“Is that better, mi amor?”

“You are amazing, no matter what,” she said as she bent down and kissed him, tasting herself on his mouth.

 

“Mami?”

“What’s up, Emmie?”

“Emersyn, Mom.”

“Sorry. What’s up, Emersyn?”

“We have company.”

“Who?”

“Hey, hey!”

“Dawson?! What are you doing here?” Izzy said as they hugged. “Oh my god, Gabby! I haven’t seen you in forever,” she said as she hugged Antonio’s sister. Gabby was a firefighter in Chicago who was about 4 years younger than Antonio and Izzy.

“Dad passed away.”

“Guys, I’m so sorry. When’s the service?”

“In two days,” Gabby told her. 

“I will be there.”

“Mom would like to see you.”

“You got it, Tonio. Let me get you guys a drink.”

The three of them talked about the old days in Bensonhurst while having a few drinks. “I always thought you two would end up together,” Gabby laughed.

“Nah, this girl here was my bodyguard.”

“You sure needed it, Tony.”

“Gabby leave your brother alone.”

“Ah, there’s the Izzy I know. Always telling me to leave my brother alone.”

“You always listened to me, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“So, are you going to work things out with Matt?”

“I don’t know, Izz,” she shrugged. “I love him but I just don’t know right now.”

“I didn’t know we had company,” Rafael said as he walked into the den.

“Sorry, Raf. You remember Antonio’s little sister?”

“Of course. Gabby how are you?”

“Been better, Rafael.”

“Sorry. ¿Qué pasa, Antonio?”

“Nuestro padre murió (our father died).”

“Lamento oír eso (I’m sorry to hear that).”

“The funeral is in two days. I told Antonio and Gabby we’d be there.”

“Two days? That’s Wednesday, I have arraignment court all day. I’m so sorry, guys.”

“It’s fine, Barba.”

“Izz, you’ll be okay to go without me?”

“Of course. I can get Erin to come.”

“How’s she doing?” Antonio asked.

“Uh, pretty good. She’s reunited with her college sweetheart actually.”

“You mean your brother?”

“Yes, Tonio. My brother.”

“Well, good for her. It’s not the same without her but if she’s happy, that’s all that matters.

 

“Hey,” Izzy said as she found Antonio on the swing set in his parents front yard after the funeral.

“Hey, Izz,” he half smiled.

“Dawson I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now.”

“You’re here. That’s enough. Remember when we used to try and flip ourselves over this swing set?”

“Like it was yesterday,” she laughed.

“You’ve always been the best friend I ever had.”

“You were mine, too.”

“Can you believe that we actually slept together the day before we both left for college?” He laughed.

“I still can’t believe you were my first real kiss.”

“Most of the boys around here were scared of you.”

“Damn. I should get Erin. I’m sure Raf…”

She didn’t finish her sentence before Antonio grabbed her and kissed her.

“I’m sorry, Izz.”

“I…I gotta go.”

 

She got home and didn’t know how or if she should tell Rafael. Antonio was in a very vulnerable state after all. She found Rafael sitting on at the foot of their bed, a black suit which was different from the gray pin-stripe one he left in that morning. “Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” he sniffled.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay,” she said as she started taking off her earrings and necklace. She couldn’t help but notice her husband staring at her while got comfortable. She couldn’t stop herself. “I need to tell you something.”

“What?”

“Antonio…kissed me.”

“I know. I saw.”

“What?”

“Court finished. I ended up issuing a lot more bench warrants than usual so I thought if I couldn’t at least make the funeral, I could come to the reception or whatever. I was walking up when I saw you in his arms…”

“Raf…”

“Just…don’t.”

“You can’t think that I have any…”

“I’ve been worried about Stone all this time. I should’ve been worried about Dawson.”

“He just lost his dad, babe. He wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“There you go. Always have to make an excuse for anyone that does something wrong. How are you a Sergeant for SVU no less?”

“Rafa…”

He picked up his suitcase.

“What’s this?”

“I always thought you were the one that would never break my heart. It took you 23 years but you finally did,” he said as he headed for the door.

“Raf, come on.”

“I just need some time.”

“It was only a kiss.”

“That’s more intimate than sex. Sorry.” With that he, shut the door as he walked out on her.

 

“Barba come on, man.”

“It’s been three days, Mike. We’re brothers, right? I can go stay with Nick.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying how can you possibly think Izzy would want someone but you?”

“I don’t know. You didn’t see what I saw. She had him in her arms.”

“You worked with SVU for how long?”

“Mike.”

“It’s almost Christmas. What about the kids? What about Emmie? I’d hate to see my niece relapse over this.”

“You think that’s not the biggest thing on my mind?”

 

“You drove my dad away cause you’re nothing but a whore! I hate you!!!” Emersyn said after Izzy had been honest about why Rafael had left almost a week before.

“Don’t talk to Mami that way!” 

“Stay out of it, Jackson! You think Mami is perfect! She kissed Uncle Antonio!”

“I better not ever hear you call your mother a whore again,” Rafael said as he walked up.

“But, Papi.”

“I mean it, Emersyn. We have an hour before Christmas Mass. You two get dressed.”

“Fine,” Emersyn said as she rolled her eyes and Jackson went to his room.

“I’m glad you’re home,” Izzy said as she tried to kiss him but he turned his head.

“We need to get ready for church,” he said curtly.

After church, he made himself comfortable on their couch. It was obvious he wasn’t home for his wife but for his kids.

 

“Rafa?”

“Yeah?” He said without looking at his wife one morning after Christmas day while he got a cup of coffee.

“Nothing.”

“Okay.”

I didn’t take much for Izzy to realize that he was still hurt and angry. If she could’ve taken that day back, she would’ve. She tried to talk to him but he told Carmen that absolutely no calls were to come through to his office. Izzy finally decided she needed to do something big in a way. He had made a fool out of himself a few times in 23 years, she could do it once.

“Can you just meet me at the Plaza? Roomi 1410?”

“Who has the kids?”

“Raf…”

“Fine. I can’t tell you what time I’ll be there.”

Around 7:00 there was a knock on the room Izzy reserved. She gathered herself as she opened the door to see her husband, less than enthused in his caramel colored coat, gray 3-piece suit with a purple tie. She had a bottle of champagne chilling with strawberries waiting.

“What’s this,” he scoffed.

“Will you talk to me?”

“About what? About that I walked up on my wife in a passionate embrace with her best friend from high school that she slept with once?!”

“Yes! Let it out! I know you’re angry. Tell me! Stop holding it in!”

“Fine! I hate what you did! I don’t hate you but letting Dawson kiss you?!”

“Keep going!”

“I can’t stand to think another man has kissed these lips! They’re supposed to be mine!”

“And they are, Rafa.”

“Sometimes, I think you want someone that hasn’t had a mild heart attack at 43.”

“Why? You act like you’re 25 most of the time.”

“Do you know how much I worry about losing you?”

“After 23/16 years? Rafa, I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”

“Antonio can pull off the look you like.”

“What do you mean?

“The earring?”

“Raf, I never told you to take yours out. I told you I loved it.”

“But I’m not that man anymore.”

“You could be,” she smiled as she took one of the diamonds out of her right ear and actually got it in his left one.

“Come on.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t fit the suit. Still sexy like it was in college.”

“I just can’t stand the thought of anyone taking you from me.”

“Rafael Eduardo Barba, that’s never going to happen. I’m sorry…”

“Shh,” he whispered as his lips crashed into hers. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, Rafa. Just make love to me.”

He flipped her over onto her back. He hurriedly unbuttoned her shirt as she undid his tie and pushed his suspenders down as she unbuttoned his shirt. “Fuck me, Papi,” she whispered into his ear.

“Oh fuck, Mami. You know just what to say,” he whispered as he filled her completely with one stoke, causing her to cry out. She felt it in the pit of her stomach when he thrusted every bit of his cock into her. He laid on top of her as he thrusted his cock in and out until he finally pulled his wife into his lap for her to do some work. They had their legs wrapped around each other as they fucked. Izzy was straddling Raf as they kept going. They just stared into each other’s eyes as Izzy slowly rode her husband. “You like that, Papi?”

“Fuck yes. Keep going, mi amor.” She rode them both to orgasms that were unbelievable. 

“I’m so glad you came tonight,” Izzy said as she laid on Rafael’s chest.

“Oh, me too,” he laughed.

“Rafa!”

“I don’t mean like that, mi amor. Look, it’s 2019. No more of last year, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Elizabeth Michelle Rossetti-Barba.”

“How about I started this new year as Sergeant Barba?”

“If you want, babe,” he smiled. “I mean your legal last name is Barba.”

“It’s been long enough.”

“If that’s what you want. Happy New Year, Sergeant Barba.”


	109. Chapter 109

A few nights after their fun at the Four Seasons, Rafael and Izzy were laying in their bed, watching tv.

“You know, this show is so terrible that you just can’t not watch it,” he laughed referring to “Shark Tank”. “I mean Mark Cuban obviously has way too much money to invest in some of this shit.”

She laughed as she fed him a small handful of popcorn.

“Was that a hint?”

“No, well, maybe.”

“Are expecting someone?” He asked after their doorbell rang.

“Um no. You?”

“Nope. Get up, I’ll go see who it is,” he said as he kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be back.”

“I don’t think I’m going anywhere, babe.”

He got to the door and was more than shocked when he opened it.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to talk to you for a minute.”

“No,” he said as started shutting the door but Dawson held it. “Antonio.”

“Just 5 minutes, if that.”

“Fine. Make it quick.”

“Look, I owe Izzy an apology but I owe you one, too.” 

“I’m listening.”

“I crossed a line and I don’t know if my friendship with your wife will ever recover and I have to live with that. What I couldn’t live with is if what I did caused any problems between you.”

“It did. I left my family over it for a week.”

“I’m really sorry. I will never speak to her again if that’s what you want.”

“That’s her decision, not mine. If she chooses to continue your friendship, it’s going to be a long time before I’m able to trust you.”

“I understand.”

“Raf? Oh, uh, Dawson.”

“I’ll let you two talk,” Rafael said as he went back to their bedroom.

“So…”

“I know I was out of line, Izz. I am so sorry.”

“Antonio…”

“If you never forgive me, I’ll understand. I’m sorry I caused problems between you guys.”

“I can’t just sit here and say everything’s fine.”

“I know.”

“One day, you know, maybe things will be okay.”

“I got it. I just want things like they used to be.”

“Me too. Like I said, one day.”

“Fair enough.”

 

“It couldn’t have been that bad, mi amor,” Rafael laughed as they ate dinner one night.

“All I kept thinking was ‘if I was a bird, I’d fly into the ceiling fan’. I had to tell Carisi to please just be a cop when he’s with me. I already live with a lawyer.”

“I don’t know why he won’t put that license to use.”

“Same reason I don’t, I would assume.”

“Ugh, can I be excused?” Emersyn said as she threw her fork on her plate.

“Uh, no you may not. Jack, take your brother to his room, please.”

“Si, Papi.”

He waited for the boys to get down the hall. “What is your problem?” He asked his daughter in a harsh tone.

“I just don’t see how you guys can sit here and pretend nothing happened and everything is fine.”

“We’re not pretending. We moved on.”

“Just like that? You’re not still mad that she did what she did?”

“Okay, this attitude toward Mami stops today. You’re lucky I didn’t ground you for you what you called her a few weeks ago. You’re walking a fine line, though. It’s okay that you were upset. I was upset and so was Mami. Last year just seemed to kick us all in some way. We have to keep moving forward. It wouldn’t do me any good to continue to punish your mother for something that actually wasn’t her fault.”

“Fine. I’m sorry.”

“Okay. You need to eat a little bit more before I’ll excuse you.”

“Okay, Papi.”

 

“What are you guys doing next weekend?”

“I’m gonna regret telling the truth, but nothing, Tony.”

“Then get my mom or your mom to watch the kids.”

“Why?” Rafael asked, with a hint of trepidation in his voice.

“Because the four of us, you, me Erin, and my sister are going to Vegas.”

“Why would we want to go to Vegas? I can go play poker with Nick, Cassidy, Carisi and Fin and lose money.”

“Why do you think?”

“Tony, I’ve had a very long day. Your sister’s has been even longer and I’m just trying to get dinner on the table before she gets home so just tell me.”

“Erin doesn’t have any family to speak of so she doesn’t want to worry about a wedding.”

“Are you serious? Anthony Rossetti Jr who always told me he was allergic to marriage is getting married?”

“You heard right, Barba.”

“I’ll talk to your sister but don’t pick some cheesy place. At least put some thought into it.”

“I’ve been researching. We found a couple.”

“Why go all the way to Vegas? Why not just go to Atlantic City or Niagara Falls?”

“Because we can go there anytime. This is Vegas. Don’t you remember Ted’s bachelor party weekend?”

“Barely. How we didn’t end up trying to steal Mike Tyson’s tiger, I have no idea.”

“Talk my sister into it. You know you can.”

“I’ll do my best.”


	110. Chapter 110

“Did you let Hank know?”

“Yeah. He tried to talk me out of going to Vegas. You sure you guys can’t go?”

“Every one of my kids are sick with the flu. They got their damn shots but yet, here we are.”

“Mami?”

“What is it, Jack?”

“Is it time for more medicine?” He asked as he came into the kitchen with a blanket wrapped around him.

“Not quite.”

“Oh my god, just kill me now,” he moaned as grabbed a juice from the fridge.

“Just like his father,” Izzy said as she rolled her eyes.

“Where is he, by the way?”

“Court. He should be done in about an hour, hopefully.”

“Mami!!” Emersyn whined from her place on the couch.

“Erin, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. We’ll just see you guys when we get back.”

 

Izzy was being pulled in three different directions trying to take care of the kids. Once they were fed and medicated she laid on her bed for just 15 minutes she told herself. It was the longest 15 minutes because next thing she knew, Rafael was waking her up. “What time is it?”

“1:45.”

“The kids!”

“They’re still asleep, cariño. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m run down but I’ve been taking care of sick kids all day.”

“You’re warm,” he said after he felt of her head.

“Probably just from running around the house.”

“Get on your pillow.”

“I’m fine.”

“Well, just get some more rest. You’ve been home alone for two days with three sick kids. I can handle them while you take a nap.”

“Thanks. If they’re hungry, there’s soup in the crockpot.”

“Okay.”

“And their meds are…”

“I’ve got it, mi amor,” he chuckled as he covered her up. 

“Raf!!!” Izzy called out after she woke up from her nap.

“What’s up?”

“I feel terrible.”

“You are burning up. Great. If this could take you down, I’m next.”

“I’ll be fine,” she said as she tried to get up.

“No, lay back down.”

“I just need to move around.”

“You need to stay in bed. I’ve got the kids.”

“Are you sure?”

He let her finish coughing and sneezing before he answered. “We’ll be fine. I’ll get your pajamas.”

She could hear the kids whining.

“Where’s Mami?”

“She’s sick, too, Emersyn. I can handle this.”

“But you’re not Mom!”

“And I’ve done what for the last 13 years? You act like you’ve never been sick and I didn’t help your mother.”

“It’s not the same,” Jackson countered.

“Guys just work with me. Okay? I’m doing the best I can.”

“Raf I got it.”

“Mom!!”

“No! Get back in bed.”

“But, Papi…”

“Raf, it’s fine,” she said as she tried to pick up Hudson. “Okay, maybe not.”

“Mi amor please go get in bed.”

“No, Mami please.”

“Emersyn your father can take care of you.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Give him a break. He’s taken care of you before when I had to work.”

“When I was 5.”

“And you still act the same.” 

“Funny, Papi.”

“Okay, everyone with a fever go lay down. You, too, Elizabeth.”

“I’m going.”

 

The next morning, the plague that struck their house, finally took down the last one.

“Cariño?”

“What?”

“It got me.”

“Yeah it did,” she said as she felt his head. “Where are you going?”

“I got to have Carmen clear my docket for the next two days at least. My head is killing me.”

“What about the kids?”

“I know what to do.”

 

About an hour later, Stella and Lucia showed up right before the kids got up.

“Which ones do you want?”

“I’ll take the grandkids.”

“Thanks, Stella. You know my son and your daughter are probably bigger babies than their children,” Lucia laughed. “How about we switch off every hour?”

“That’ll work. How did all 5 of them get sick?”

“I have no idea. Okay. Let’s get started,” Lucia said as they went off in different directions. “Are you two awake?”

“Barely.”

“Look at this mess. I know you two are sick but you have a trashcan right by your bed.”

“Can I throw up in it?”

“Rafi. Let’s not be so dramatic. Come on, let me take your temperature.”

“No.”

“Rafael.”

“No, Mami. I know I have a fever, I don’t need to see how high it is.”

“Sit up or I’ll take it like I used to when you were a baby.”

“Ugh, Mom!”

Izzy started laughing so hard she had to run to the bathroom to throw up.

“Ha ha!!” Her husband called after her.

“You’re next, Izzy.”

“Okay but wipe it off before you put it my ear.”

“Are you really worried about that? We have kids, made from my sperm and you’re worried about ear wax?”

“Rafael! I don’t want to hear that!”

“Come on, Mom.”

“I know you two have sex but you don’t have to be crude.”

“Sorry. Mami, can you make me soup like you always did when I was a kid and I’d get sick?”

“Didn’t your wife make a perfectly good soup yesterday?”

“Yeah but it’s not the same.”

“Rafa!”

“It was great, mi amor. Please, Mami?”

“No. You can eat what she made yesterday.”

“Ugh, fine!”

“You were whining about the kids yesterday and oh my god.”

“Okay, you two take your medicine and go back to sleep. I’m gonna go help Stella with the younger kids.”

“This is it. This is how I’m going to die.”

“Stop being so dramatic, Rafa.”

“It’s been a year since my heart attack but this I’m not going to make it through.”

“Go back to sleep. And stay on your side. I’m sweating enough without you on top of me.”

“Fine by me.”

 

“What’s wrong with you?”

“My mom’s being mean,” Rafael whined to his mother in law.

“Ma ignore him. He’s always a baby when he gets sick; always has been.”

“Come here, baby. You are still so warm. Let me get you a cold compress for your head.”

“Ma!”

“What, Izzy? He has always been my kid just as much as you and your brother. I’ll be right back.”

“You are such a baby,” she growled at her husband.

“My mom’s being taking care of you and ignoring me.”

“She has not.”

“She brought you your medicine and juice and told me I was grown and could take care of myself.”

“You are always such a baby…”

“Here, Rafael. I got you some water, heated you up some of the soup I made, and here’s some more medicine, too.”

“Ma?”

“What, Izzy?”

“Did you not think about your daughter?”

“My daughter can handle herself.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” she said as she pulled the comforter over her head. 

She listened as her mother babied Rafael and just rolled her eyes.

“Where are you going?”

“To check on the kids,” Izzy said as she grabbed her robe.

“Izzy you guys make plenty of money. You could throw that out and buy a new robe. I’m sure you can find another pink one.”

“I’ve tried to tell her, Stella.”

“Ugh, whatever.” 

“Izzy what are you doing out of bed?”

“Your son is milking this with his mother in law.”

“Yeah, I figured out where Jackson learned that. He reminded me of his father so much. And he looks just like him so all of a sudden, it’s the 80s again. The only that’s not whining is the 3-year-old. Honey you need to get back in bed. You are still burning up. I’ll bring you something to eat after I check on the kids.”

 

“Okay, the kids are bathed and settled for the night. We’ll be back in the morning.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Lucia sat down next to Rafael on the bed and felt his head. “Your fever still hasn’t broke. You know what, Stella. I’m gonna have to pass on the coffee. I’m gonna stay here,” she said as she pushed Rafael’s hair off his sweaty forehead. “How about I make your Abuelita’s chicken soup like she always did when you were sick when you were a kid, hmm?”

“I’d like that, Mami. What about Bill?”

“He’ll be fine for one night. I’ve got to get my kids better,” she said as she went to feel Izzy’s head. “You don’t feel as warm. Still have a fever though. Why don’t you two each take a bath, put on some fresh clothes, and move to the couch and I’ll wash your sheets.”

“Lucia you don’t have to.”

“A bath would make both of you feel better and you don’t want to get back into nasty, sweaty sheets.”

“it wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Rafael, what did I tell you?”

“It’s the fever, Mami.”

“Uh-huh. Levántate, los dos, ahora (Get up, both of you, now).”


	111. Chapter 111

“Okay, come on. You’re going to be late for school,” Izzy said after “the plague” that overtook their house had been eradicated for the most part. Rafael had yet to go 24 hours without a fever. 

“So, I’ll pick them up after school and bring them back here?”

“Yeah, Jessica. If anything changes, I’ll let you know but surely I can get Rafael’s fever to break once and for all.”

“Okay, just let me know. Come on, guys.”

Izzy walked back into their bedroom and started picking up Rafael’s nightstand. “What time is it, mi amor?”

“7:30. Kids just left for school. How are you feeling?”

“Actually…better.”

“You’ve been without a fever for 12 hours now. That’s a plus.”

“Thanks to you.”

“Well, I already text Carmen and told her you wouldn’t be in today. Why don’t I make you a good breakfast and get you some coffee and then after that, you can take a nice, hot shower?”

“Sounds good,” he smiled.

 

Once he got in the shower, she quickly made the bed, pulled her hair back, and got out of her pajamas.

“So, what do you want to do to…” he started as he walked into their bedroom, only in a towel. His wife stood in front of him in the “sexy doctor lab coat” she had bought a few weeks prior but work had prevented her from bringing it out. Her black Manolo’s gave her the extra four inches she needed to match her husband. “The thought of you nursing me back to health get you all hot and bothered, cariño? You didn’t have to dress up just because you missed this cock,” he said with that smirk on his face.

“I’m glad you like what you see, Papi, but we need to have a discussion about how mouthy you’ve been lately.”

“Is that right?”

“You were terrible this week,” she said as she brought her glasses half way down. “The worst patient I’ve ever seen.” She backed him over to the edge of the bed and pushed him to sit. His dark hair was still damp, he had shaven the almost week’s worth of hair off his face, and he smelled wonderful. He slowly started running his hands up her legs, only to have them grabbed and pushed away. “Did I say you could touch me?”

“No,” he said with a crooked smile. “Didn’t know I needed permission…doctor.”

“Well, you do, Mr. Barba.”

“So sorry.”

“We’re not going to have any problems with you acting up again, are we?”

“No ma’am.”

“Good,” she said as she opened his towel. “Little excited, are we?”

“Just a little.”

“Well, I guess I need to change that.”

“Fuck,” he cried out once her warm mouth made contact with his dick. His hands gripped the comforter under him as she kept going as he moaned her name. “I’m getting close, baby.”

“You said the magic word,” she said as she stood up.

“Wha…what?”

“I know you didn’t think I was going to let you get off that quick, did you? And don’t forget that I don’t need verbal warning to know when you’re close,” she smiled as climbed she into his lap. She took his face in her hands as their lips met. She stop his hands as he ran them up thighs to grab her ass, to find out she was naked under her “outfit”. His huge hands squeezed causing her to moan into his mouth. At that point, he flipped her onto the bed. 

“Looks like Papi’s in charge now.”

“Well, if you say so.”

“Don’t worry, cariño. I’m not in the mood to tease. It’s been too long,” he said as he gently took her earlobe in between his teeth before completely enveloping it in his lips. She actually believed him once he buried his face in between her legs. His tongue was better than toy on the market. Just like she knew his body, he knew hers just as well. He lied about not being in the mood to tease.

“What…the…hell?”

“What? Oh, were you almost there?”

She wrapped her leg around his and managed to flip him back over. “It’s things like that is why you need punished.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said with a hint of snark.

“You’re going to be. Roll over,” she said as got off of him. He did as he was told. She ran her hands lightly up and down his back. 

“This doesn’t seem like much punishment,” he smirked.

“Oh, you need more? Fine,” she said as she smacked his ass.

He was taken a little by surprise by that but he also kind of saw what she liked when he did it to her. 

“Are you going to behave?”

“No.”

“NO? Fine,” she said as she smacked him again. “Papi likes this, doesn’t he?”

“Si, Mami.”

“Well, in that case, I’m gonna have to stop.”

“Why? I thought I was being punished?”

“It’s not punishment if you like it.”

“Then I don’t. I hate it.”

“I don’t know if I believe that.”

“It’s not hard enough to teach me a lesson.”

“Oh, I see. It’s not good enough, huh?” That time it was.

 

“I’m glad we stayed home,” he laughed as they laid in bed after she rode him hard and fast.

“Me, too.”

“I’m sure I’ve sweated everything out of my body now. Seriously, though, I know I drove you crazy while I was sick.”

“More so because I was sick, too,” she laughed. “Such a baby.”

“Me? My mother catered to you when she wasn’t busy with the kids.”

“And mine didn’t cater to you?”

“You heard her. I’m just as much her kid as you or Tony.”

“Well then there’s some serious incest going on here.”

“Babe!”

“What?” She laughed.

“You think Tony and Erin are upset we didn’t go with them?”

“Rafa we didn’t have choice. We couldn’t leave our sick kids with my parents or yours.”

“I know that. We haven’t heard from either of them. Maybe if they had kids, they’d get it.”

“We’ll see when we go back to work tomorrow.” 

“So soon?”

“We’ve been off long enough.”

“I think my fever’s back.”

“Yeah right.”

 

“Everybody in your house better?”

“Finally, Liv.”

“Did you have to spike Barba’s tea again?”

“Did you know about this, Izzy?” Amanda asked as she waved a paper in front of her while storming up.

“What is it?”

“Nick is filing for custody and look who’s representing him?!”

“Can he do that if the baby isn’t born yet?”

“Yeah, he can, Fin,” Carisi chimed in.

“Did you know, Izzy?”

“Yeah, I knew, Amanda.”

“And you couldn’t at least give me heads up?”

“Okay, Rollins, let’s take a minute.”

“No, Liv. She could’ve told me that her husband was helping Nick try to take my child.”

“Number one, I wasn’t even supposed to know. Number two, he has been trying to be there for you this whole time and you refuse to let him.”

“You wouldn’t get it. You’ve always had the perfect life. Apple of your father’s eye, Ivy League education where you slept with the first guy that paid you any attention, I might add. You married him and he’s the perfect husband and father. We can’t all be as lucky as you.”

“Okay, you know what, Rollins, why don’t you take the rest of the day and go talk to a lawyer,” Liv told her.

“Fine,” she said as she picked up her purse and left.

“She didn’t mean it like that, Izz.”

“It’s fine, Fin.”


	112. Chapter 112

“You could’ve done this in Vegas, you know?” Izzy laughed as she helped Erin get ready for her & Tony’s small wedding. 

“I told you, we got there and it just didn’t feel right without our best friends with us.”

“I know. I still can’t believe after all these years…”

“He was always the one. I was just too scared to admit it. Thank you for helping me plan this in just a few weeks.”

“Of course. I’m actually glad you guys decided to do this instead.”

“I need to tell you something.”

“What?”

“You’re going to be an aunt.”

“What? Like a for real aunt?”

“Blood related.”

“Oh my god, Erin.”

“No one knows, yet, so wipe those tears.”

“I won’t say anything.”

“You two about done?”

“Of course, Hank.”

“Well, kid. Here you are.”

“Here I am, Hank,” Erin laughed.

“You know, you were always the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“You saved my life, Hank.”

“I think your maid of honor helped me out here and there. I knew we’d be here someday. I think you got a good one, even if it took 20 years for you to figure it out.”

“Thank you for coming out and walking me down the aisle.”

“Wouldn’t have missed it, kid.”

 

“How do I look, Barba?”

“Not as good as I did on my wedding day but you’re alright.”

“Thanks,” Tony said as he rolled his eyes. “How have you and my sister stayed together so long? And I’m not asking about sex.”

“That was going to be my first answer. No, seriously, communication. Your sister knows everything about me. She can tell what I’m thinking before I even think it. There’s several reasons, actually. Your sister is the love of my life.”

“I still remember how you’d talk about her. You’d ask me questions about what she liked in guys. You were a sad little puppy dog chasing after her.”

“I was not. I just needed some intel.”

“She couldn’t have done any better, man, for real.”

“Well, Erin could do better, I think.”

“Don’t ever change, Barba,” Tony said as he rolled his eyes.

“Come on, man. We’ve got 5 minutes.”

“Hey, in all seriousness, thanks for standing up there with me today.”

“Of course. You stood with me. Come on, let’s go get you married.”

 

“You look so hot, mi amor,” Rafael whispered as they danced at Erin and Tony’s reception.

“You don’t look so bad, yourself, your honor.”

“How about after this, we take the kids and go to a late movie?”

“Really? Dressed like this?”

“Why not? Look at Jack in his suit.”

“Looks just like his Papi.”

“I’ve said it over and over again, we make some pretty kids.”

“Yes, we do. Hey, how about we go home, get in our pjs, let the kids crawl in bed with us and watch something on Netflix or Hulu? Maybe we can pick up some ice cream on the way?”

“That sounds perfect, cariño. I love you, so much, you know that?”

“I know, Rafa. I love you, more.”

“If you say so,” he smiled before he placed a small kiss on her lips. “So, this year we will be married 17 years and together 24. We’ve almost hit the quarter of a century being together.”

“That’s not even half of our lives.”

“I know. We were kids but I knew from that first kiss I didn’t want to kiss anyone else.”

“Wait which kiss?”

“The very first one. What’s Carisi doing?”

“Maybe he’s going to sing?”

“God, I hope not.” 

Carisi started talking about love and how hard it is to find and other things. He walked over to where Carmen was sitting, microphone still in hand, and got on one knee in front of Carmen as he asked her to marry him. She happily accepted. Izzy looked at Erin who nodded at her, signaling that he asked their permission before “hi-jacking” their reception.

Rollins and Izzy hadn’t been on good terms over Barba helping Nick with the custody case. Everyone thought Amanda was in the wrong for trying to shut Nick out and he was just doing what he thought was best. He wanted to be a part of his child’s life. He didn’t think he should have to pay the price for Declan not being involved in Jesse’s life and he was right.

“I didn’t think Rollins’ was coming,” Rafael said as he saw her walk up.

“Hey, Izzy, Barba.”

“What’s up, Rollins?”

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Uh, sure? Raf, I could use a refill,” she said as she handed him her empty scotch glass.

“Sure thing, mi amor.”

“What’s up?”

“I want to apologize for how I’ve acted the last few weeks. I know you couldn’t tell me what was going on. And I’ve been thinking, maybe everyone is right.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nick isn’t Declan. Maybe…maybe I need to stop fighting it and let him in my…our child’s life.”

“Amanda you remember how everything was with Gil. He doesn’t deserve to go through that again.”

“No, I know.”

“He just didn’t know what else to do.”

“I know. I didn’t give him much of a choice. I’m gonna go talk to him,” she said once she spotted Nick talking to Cassidy.

“Here’s your drink, hermosa. What’s going on over there?”

“Amanda is finally letting someone in.”

 

“Mami, I’m 13.”

“So?”

“Emersyn, just humor your mother. We used to couldn’t keep you out of our bed.”

“I don’t want to watch the ‘Hotel Transylvania’ movies.”

“Come on, Sis. Stop whining so much. It’s not going to kill you.”

“Thank you, Jackson. See? Your brother is fine with it. I used to make forts and things like that and the three of us would fall asleep watching ‘Iron Man’ or ‘The Avengers’.”

“Yeah but like I said, Papi, I’m 13.”

“Again…”

“Okay, I’ll go get changed.”

“And then go help Mami with the snacks.”

“Papi, I go pee-pee.”

“You need to, Hudson”

“Uh, yeah.”

Rafael exhaled wondering what he was in for. Hudson had been their hardest kid to potty train. He was stubborn, much like his father. Stella and Lucia both acted as is if they were mortified that their youngest grandson wasn’t potty trained yet when they took care of all of them when they had the flu. He surprised his dad by actually going in the toilet.

“See, I can do it?”

“Yes, you can, mijo. Just keep doing it like that and we can get rid of these pull-ups, okay?”

“Okay, Papi.”

“Now, go get in Mami and Papi’s bed.”

He didn’t have to be told more than once as he ran to their room.

They were always glad they had such a big bed. All three kids found a spot and ended falling asleep with their parents. Rafael grabbed Izzy and pulled her close to him. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“For what?”

“Making all of my dreams come true.”


	113. Chapter 113

“Where’s Nick?”

“He’s coming, Amanda. Just keep breathing.”

“Ohhhh my god!!! He wanted to be a part of this; why isn’t he here?!”

“Amanda he’s coming. I promise,” Izzy told her as she rubbed her back.

“I need…my…epidural.”

“It’s not time yet.”

“Oh, this is such bullshit!!!! I’m not doing this again!!! How did you do this at home?”

“I’m here,” Nick said as he came in. “Rollins just breathe.”

“Okay. I’ll leave you guys alone.”

“No, Izzy, don’t leave me, please.”

“Amanda…”

“You didn’t leave me with Jesse.”

“I’ll stay until they kick me out, how’s that?”

“Thank you.”

Aiden Nicholas Amaro-Rollins was born just a few hours later. “Look at that dark hair,” Izzy said as she held him after Nick and Amanda.

“He definitely looks like his dad,” Amanda smiled.

“Thank you, Izzy.”

“For what, Nick?”

“Being here for both of us really,” he laughed.

“Yeah, you got me through both of my children being born.”

“Well, I’m glad he’s here. I’m gonna head home and show Uncle Rafa the pictures.”

 

“Hey, Sarge?”

“What’s up, Carisi?”

“We got a situation.”

“Tessa visited her father yesterday. She got home around 5:30, 6. I got the silent treatment through dinner until she went to her room, where she stayed,” Valerie Sennett told Izzy and Fin. 

“Something happened to upset her?” Izzy asked. 

“She thinks I'm keeping her from her father. A social worker supervises the visits.” 

“Okay, now, why is that? Did your husband abuse your daughter?” 

“Does alcohol and drug addiction qualify as abuse?” 

“By themselves, no,” Fin told her. 

“Well, it's a good thing the judge disagreed with you and gave me a protection order. Miles was in my house. He attacked me. Why haven't you arrested him?” 

“As soon as we finish taking your statement, we're gonna talk to him. We're also gonna need to speak with your daughter,” Izzy replied. 

“She doesn't know anything. She was asleep.”

Upon inspection of the house, they found there was no forced entry, which Valerie replied that her daughter had to have given Miles a key. So much evidence seemed to keep piling up against Miles but a lot didn’t as well, and he maintained his innocence in the rape. The case ended up on Rafael‘s docket.

“People V. Miles Sennet, one count rape in the first degree, two counts stalking in the first degree, one count breaking and entering.”

“How do you plead?” Izzy watched her husband ask Miles. 

“Not guilty,” his lawyer responded. 

“The People ask for bail to be set at $100,000,” Stone said. 

“We have no objection, your honor.” 

“There is an existing order of protection against this defendant. Do I have that right, Mr. Stone?” 

“It expires tomorrow, your honor.”

“And not only did he violate it, but he is accused of violating the complainant as well?” 

“Yes. Your honor, if I may, I'd like to…” 

“When I'm done. Bail is set at $500,000.” 

“Objection. That's excessive, your honor.”

“I'm surprised at you, Mr. Stone. Women have been preyed upon enough. There is a restraining order in place, but it has done nothing to stop this defendant from hunting her down. You should be ashamed. Perhaps he needs more of an incentive. $500,000,” Rafael said as he banged his gavel.

“Hey, Izz?”

“Yeah, Fin?”

“Valerie Sennet was just attacked in the street.” 

“Where is she?” 

“The burn unit at Cornell.”

“Fuck, let’s go, Fin.”

“I smell gasoline,” the doctor at Cornell told them. “She was saturated with it. Her nerves are gone. If she makes it through the night, she'll have severe pain tomorrow.”

“Valerie, can you tell us who did this?” Izzy asked her.

“Miles did this.” 

“She shouldn't be talking. Her lungs are burned.” 

“Well, that's why we need her dying declaration. Valerie, what did Miles do? Can you tell us?” 

“He had gas in a water bottle, and he sprayed he sprayed it all over me. He, he chased me. He struck a match. Flames…”

“How did he make bail.” Izzy asked as stormed into Stone’s office.

“His parents put up their retirement home.”

“You realize that women's groups and the media are already calling for judicial censure because of the lapsed protection order?”

“And it’s on me. Not Barba.”

“This isn’t Chicago, Stone.”

“I now. Look, I’m trying to clean this up.”

“You better do and do it fast.”

Miles was tracked with his daughter into Central Park. He had, in a way, taken his daughter hostage. Carisi was able to shoot him with rubber bullets so they could take him into custody. Valerie would later succumb to shock after surgery later that night.

Izzy sat in the precinct the night of Valerie’s death, finishing up the paperwork. A nice looking African-American man walked in. “I’m looking for a Detective Tutuola?”

“He's gone for the day. I'm his partner, Sergeant Elizabeth Barba. Can I help you?” 

“I'm Phillip Anders, an investigator with Valerie Sennet's divorce attorney. I understand you guys are looking for me.”

“Actually, that case is closed.” 

“Now I saw on the news where she is in critical condition. It's terrible. She was an amazing woman.” 

“Were you close?”

“Not really. It was casual. We got together on her daughter's visit days with dad.” 

“When was the last time you were together?” 

“That's personal” Anders scoffed. 

“Well, actually, it needs to go in the file.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Valerie Sennett accused her husband of raping her. So, I need to know, when was the last time you had sex with her?”

“Earlier in the week.” 

 

“Valerie Sennett wasn't raped,” Izzy told Rafael that night. “She was sleeping with a law firm investigator. She really put her husband through the wringer. She died 20 minutes ago. She knew that she was gonna die, and she still lied to my face.”

“When love warps into hate, there's nothing you won't do,” he responded. “None of this is your fault, mi amor.”

“But what if…”

“Stop. She’s the one that lied. Yes, it’s terrible how everything ended up but what choice did you have but to believe the evidence and the victim?”

“What am I doing this for, Rafa?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…if I can’t tell the difference between a lie and the truth…”

“Baby I said stop.”

“You’re right.”

“Come on. Let’s go to bed.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Mi amor…”

“Can I just stay up for a little bit?”

“Sure. Come to bed when you’re ready,” he said as he kissed her forehead. “Te amo, cariño.”

 

“Uh, Mr. Barba?”

“Yes, Mr. Stone?”

“You got a minute?”

“Not really. What do you need?” Rafael asked curtly.

“I just wanted to apologize about the bail set for Mile Sennett, sir.”

“Well, it obviously didn’t matter. I raised it to half a million and he still made it to set his wife on fire.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Rafael said as he sat in his chair behind his desk.

“Did you ever have a case that made you question your entire career?”

“A few, actually. Most notably, Evie Barnes.”

“Evie Barnes?”

“She was raped by two fellow college students of hers. Turned out, she made pornographic videos playing to the ‘barely 18’ storyline. One kid made a deal, the other went to trial and was found guilty. The day of sentencing, the judge overturned the verdict.”

“Are you serious?”

“Completely. I was almost put in contempt. It wasn’t right. The judge thought that Evie was playing to the newfound status of so-called ‘victim-hood’. I seriously thought of hanging it up that day.”

“Wow.”

“I appealed it, to no avail. Evie never received justice for what had happened to her. One boy walked away with a record, the other didn’t .”

“I honestly believed what Valerie said.”

“So did my wife. Now she’s second guessing herself and she’s been on the job almost 16 years. Look, don’t be too hard on yourself, Stone. Like I said, I raised his bail to $500k and Miles Sennett still got free. This wasn’t any of our faults in the grand scheme of things. If you’re going to handle cases for SVU, you’ll learn that. The fights worth fighting are the ones that everyone thinks you can’t win.”


	114. Chapter 114

“Hola, Mami,” Rafael said as he kissed his wife on her cheek while she worked on dinner.

“Hey, babe. How was court?”

“Ugh.”

“That bad, huh?”

“It was just idiot after idiot today. How was your day? I didn’t expect you home so early.”

“Liv’s back from Quantico so she let me head out early today.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Why?”

“You’ve seemed kinda down.”

“I think having command of the squad for more than two days just wore me out,” she said as she forced a laugh, earning a quizzical look from her husband.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. Why don’t you go fix yourself a drink and get your tie off?”

“Sounds like a good idea. I’ll see if the kids need any help with their homework.”

Izzy went back to preparing the eggplant parmesan her kids had requested for dinner while Rafael walked out of the kitchen. She turned her phone back up to the sounds of “Vienna” by Billy Joel. Truth was, the Sennett case really got to her. It was usually the cases with kids that shook her but this one weighed heavily on her mind. She had thought what could they have done differently, if anything and if Miles could’ve avoided killing Valerie if she would’ve told the truth. No doubt he abused her, but one lie caused her death. She was taken out of her thoughts by the doorbell. “Tony?”

“Hey, little sister.”

“We’re in our 40s. I think you can stop calling me ‘little sister’.”

“That’s what you are though. Your husband home?”

“Yeah. He should be in his office Go on back.”

“Hey, Rafael,” Tony said as he knocked on his brother in law’s office door.

“Hey, Tony. Come on in,” he motioned for him to enter.

“¿Crees que entendiste esto (You think you got understanding of this), Jackson?”

“Si, Papi.”

“Bien. Llévalo a tu habitación para que pueda hablar con tu tío Tony. Si necesitas más ayuda, Vuelve (Okay. Take it to your room so I can talk to your Uncle Tony. If you need any more help, come back).”

“Okay. Later, Uncle Tony.”

“See ya, Jack.”

“So, what brings you by here? Drink?”

“Sure. I just thought I’d stop by and hang out, drink your scotch.”

“Uh-huh and where’s your wife?”

“Home. You know we found out we’re having a girl.”

“Yeah, your sister told me.”

“Today, we went into this baby store, started looking at things like furniture and what not and all of a sudden, it became real in that moment. I felt like the walls were getting closer and I had to get out of there.”

“You’re not having regrets…”

“No. I’m…I’m terrified, Barba. I mean, you make it look easy but me?”

“Easy? Ha,” he scoffed. “There is nothing easy about raising kids.”

“I know that. Were you scared about becoming a father?”

“Like you, I was terrified, especially when we found out we were having a girl. I started thinking of day one until the day she gets married in a span of like 5 minutes. I had a full on panic attack in my office in Brooklyn.”

“You and my sister are excellent parents, really. How do you do it?”

“Your dad.” 

“MY dad?”

“Do you think I ever once asked my dad for parenting advice while he was alive? That’s a hard no. I’ve have called your dad so many times over the years, especially when it comes to niece.”

“Well, my dad might be a good role model but my daughter is not going to be anywhere near as spoiled as my sister…or my niece.”

“What?”

“Barba.”

“Yeah, okay. Trust me, your daughter will be spoiled, no matter how hard you fight it.”

“Papi…”

“Case in point. What do you need, Emersyn?”

“Hey, Uncle Tony. Mami said to ask you if Ashley could spend the night Friday?”

“What did she say?”

“It was okay with her if it was okay with you.”

“Of course, your sister always leaves the decision up to me, like I’m going to say no,” Rafael laughed. “It’s fine, mija.”

“Okay, thanks. Bye, Uncle Tony.”

“She used to worship the ground you walked on. Now it’s ‘hi’, ‘I need something’, and ‘bye’?”

“Ever since she turned 13. It’ll happened to you one day.”

 

“Izz can I see you for a minute?”

“Sure, Lieu,” she said as she got up and followed Liv into her office. “What’s up?”

“I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

“I’m fine, Liv.”

“Your husband doesn’t seem to think so and I agree. You haven’t been yourself since I got back from Quantico. I know the Sennett case was a tough one.”

“Tough? Why couldn’t she just tell the truth?”

“I’ve had cases that have made me question why I keep doing this.”

“And what answer do you come up with?”

“That someone has to fight for those who can’t.”

“And when we get tired of fighting?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you take a couple of days off?”

“Liv…”

“Okay, you’re taking time off and that’s an order. If I see you up here before Monday, I’ll have you arrested.”

“Okay.”

“Just take some time to yourself. Go get a massage, sleep, regroup, have lunch with Barba one day, and I’ll see you Monday morning.”

“Got it, Lieu. And, uh, thanks.”

 

“How about we go to a movie Friday night?” Barba asked as they ate lunch in his chambers. 

“Is there anything worth seeing, Rafa?”

“I’m sure we could find something. I think I read that Film Forum on Houston is showing the first two Godfather films.”

“We could do that.”

“It’s a date,” he smiled with his mouth full of salad. “We only have to worry about Hudson until Sunday. Jackson is staying with Mami and Bill since Bill is taking him to the Knicks game Saturday and Emersyn is staying at Hayden’s. Maybe your parents can take Hudson for the night?”

“I’ll call Ma after I leave here.”

“Will you talk to me?”

“What do you mean?”

“About what’s going on in your head. You never keep things from me. The last two weeks, it’s like I don’t know the person laying next to me at night all of a sudden.” 

“You’re due back in court in 15 minutes.”

“And the courtroom is 5 minutes down the hall. You have me for 10. So talk.”

“I’ve been doing some thinking and maybe after 16 years…”

“After 16 years, what?”

“Maybe it’s time for me to put my law degree to use.”

“You’re serious?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been questioning myself on past cases…”

“Don’t do that. You are an excellent detective. Fuck, I hate to do this, cariño,” he said as he grabbed his black robe.

“You gotta go, I know.”

“We’ll talk more when I get home,” he said placing a quick peck on her lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

 

“Ugh, Hudson, seriously?” Izzy said to the mess in his room that she had picked up not 20 minutes before.

“Sorry, Mami. I love you.”

“Yeah, love you, too. Now pick up your toys and put them back where they belong before Papi gets home.”

“Too late,” Rafael laughed. “Hudson now Mami told me on the phone not very long ago that she had just cleaned your room. Why did you come in and messed it all over again?”

“I don’t know,” their 3 ½ year old said as he shrugged.

“Well, you’re going to pick this stuff up without Mami’s help this time.”

“But, Papi.”

“No buts, young man. Now get to it.”

“My iPad,” he whined as Rafael picked up the tablet from Hudson’s little desk.

“You can have it back once this room is back the way your mother had it. Got it?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s better. I’ll be back in a few minutes to check and make sure you’re cleaning up.”

“Babe I could’ve…”, Izzy started as they walked down the hall.

“I know but he’s at the age where we started making the other two do things like that for themselves. Besides, we have a conversation to continue.”

She poured him a drink while he sat at the bar in the kitchen, waiting for her to speak. “You do remember how conversations work, right?”

“Yes, smartass.”

“Start by telling me exactly what has put this in your mind.”

“I just keep thinking that if Valerie hadn’t lied, if I would’ve kept digging until we found that investigator from that law firm, maybe things would be different.”

“You’re questioning your judgement?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Mi amor he had an order of protection against him, he had a GPS device on the social worker’s car…”

“Yeah, I know all that, Rafa.”

“16 years and you’ve seen the scum of the earth, pedophiles, rapists, murders, sex-traffickers. I have not once seen you question yourself or talk about leaving the force.”

“I know.”

“You know I’ll support whatever decision you make but can I be honest with you?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t think you’d be happy. It’s not you. You love getting those bastards off the streets. Just like I love putting them away. You know, I get where you’re coming from. I mean, yeah, if Valerie hadn’t lied then Miles wouldn’t have set her on fire, which ultimately killed her, and I wouldn’t have had to sentence him to 25 to life, and their daughter wouldn’t be being raised by family members. I saw genuine remorse at his sentencing and I’ll admit, I felt a little bad for him but not bad enough. I had to do my job. Just like you did. Stop beating yourself up. It’s not healthy. Give it some more thought and if you decide to dust of that law license, I’m here and I’ll help you in any way I can.”

“Thanks, Raf.”

“Of course, cariño. I’m gonna go check on your son.”

“My son, huh?”

“Isn’t that rule? When they misbehave, they’re your kids and your kids only?”

“Uh wrong!”


	115. Chapter 115

“So, have you decided what you’re going to do?” Amanda asked when she and Nick brought the baby to the Barba’s for a visit.

“I’m staying. Barba was right. I wouldn’t be happy. I just have to accept that there was nothing that we could’ve done differently really. Valerie was determined to make her husband miserable.”

“We all have those cases that eat away at us. You’ve been doing this longer than me.”

“Esther Labott still gets to you, huh?”

“Oh yeah. I tried so hard to save her, you know?”

“Oh, I know.”

“It’s been a year and I still play that in my head once a week. We can’t save them all.”

“How right you are, Amanda. So, how is the co-parenting going?”

“Uh, pretty good. Nick comes over when he gets off and takes over for the night, really. He even helps with Jesse.”

“Do you think you guys might…”

“We’re just concentrating on being parents right now, Izz,” Amanda laughed.

“I get it.”

“What do you think those two are up to?”

“Drinking my husband’s scotch, no doubt. They’re supposed to be planning some big dinner or something for Carisi's last weekend as a single man.”

“Dinner?”

“I’m not buying it either. He thinks that I don’t know about his bachelor party.”

“What?” Amanda laughed.

“Oh yeah. He’s never told me. But there was glitter all over the bottom of his shoes. It didn’t take a genius to figure out where he had been that night.”

“And you’ve let him get away with not telling you all these years?”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll be able to use it against him one day,” Izzy smirked. 

 

“What about this one, Barba? It’s got a 5.0 rating.”

“Cause that’s what we’re worried about, Amaro.”

“Does Izzy know what you’re planning?”

“Have I ever given you the impression that I’m suicidal? She doesn’t even know about my bachelor party after almost 17 years.”

“No way. You guys don’t have secrets.”

“That’s classified information that is pertinent to me keeping my balls. End of story.”

“Do you think she’d really care?”

“Honestly, she probably wouldn’t but I was 28 years-old, I had been getting laid regularly for 7 years and I was not about to fuck it up over a few lap dances.”

“I get it, Barba,” Nick laughed. “Here, check out this one.”

“$3000?”

“But look at everything we get.”

“Who all are we inviting?”

“Well, you and me.”

“Oh, that makes sense.”

“Fin, Cassidy, Mike, Carisi of course, Tony, Carisi’s brother in law.”

“Tommy? No. He and Bella are on the outs from what Carisi said.”

“Okay, so that’s 7 of us. Do we want to invite Stone?”

“Ugh, I guess we could,” Barba muttered. "Okay, so we have 3 weeks. Let's get this in order."

 

“So, what are you guys doing tonight?” Izzy asked as she looked up from the book she was reading on the couch.

“Dinner at Reserve and I think Nick said something about going to the Carnegie Club.”

“Really? Steak then scotch and cigars? That’s the big plan for Carisi’s last weekend as a single man?”

“With the exception of Carisi, we’re all in our 40s. What else is there to do?”

“Okay. Well, you boys have fun. I’ll be here when you get back.”

“I’m counting on it,” he said he bent down to kiss her.

“No tequila tonight.”

“Of course not, mi amor. Love you.”

“Love you.”

He walked out the door and she picked up the phone to text Liv, Amanda, Alice, and Erin. The four of them showed up about an hour later.

“So, what’s the plan?”

“Well, I’m tracking my husband’s phone at the moment, Amanda. They are, in fact, having dinner where he said they would be.”

“You track his phone?”

“After what happened with Yelina, I’m not taking any chances. Okay, they have gotten into a car apparently. Okay, let me get dressed.”

Izzy hurriedly threw on a skirt, her boots, and a button-up shirt, told Jessica she would be back, and they left.

 

“Hey, Detective Rossetti,” the very large bouncer greeted her as the woman walked up to the gentleman’s club she had tracked the guys to. 

“Hey, Frank. Been a while. I’m looking for my husband.”

“I thought that was him,” he laughed.

“Yeah, bachelor party for one of the detectives.”

“Got it,” he said as he pointed them in the direction of the “Sapphire Room” they were in.

“What, Amanda?”

“Detective Rossetti?”

“I went undercover here once.”

“Really?”

“As a waitress, Alice! Liv tell them.”

“She went undercover here, as a waitress.”

“Thanks, Liv,” Izzy said as she rolled her eyes. “Okay, you guys just follow me.”

They walked into the room and no attention was put in their direction. She held her finger to her lips. It was actually pretty dark so she could slip up behind her husband, pretty much unnoticed. 

“Hey, sexy, would you like a dance,” she whispered in her best Kathleen Turner impression.

He didn't even say a word or turn to look as a $100 bill appeared between his index and middle finger. All of the girls looked on in shock but instead of getting mad, Izzy decided to go with it and throw her leg over his lap and sitting on him.

"Hola, cariño," he said with that smirk, "I didn't know you worked here." 

"You knew it was me?"

"I know your perfume too well," he said as he placed a kiss on her neck. "Are you mad?"

"No," she said with a smile and shake of her head. “But my brother on the other hand!” She said turning to Tony. “You left your pregnant wife at home for this?”

“Your husband tricked me.”

“Don’t throw me under the bus, Tony. This started out as your brainchild. Nick and I just worked out all the details. You’re sure you’re not mad?”

"Of course not but you didn't have to lie to me."

"We went to the places I said we were going to. I just omitted this."

"So, a lie by omission but still a lie," she laughed.

"Fine," he laughed as he rolled his eyes. "I have an idea. Why don’t we get out of here and you give me that dance you offered a little but ago?”

“Kids are home, remember?”

“The one weekend they don’t have plans.”

“Don’t stay out too late.” 

“I won’t,” he said with a sly grin.


	116. Just A Little Reminder

I’ve said it several times and I’ll say it again, I don’t mind anyone not liking what I write. I ask that you be respectful in your comments, however. A persons race is not a factor in why I don’t write about them constantly. My story isn’t about that person. Everyone can be considered “second class” really to my two main characters if you want to put it that way. We have to think, this is FICTION, and just like in the show, they all have lives outside of the squad and what not. Yes, they do get together and have fun and some of them are together A LOT but it’s not a commentary on the group as a whole.


	117. Chapter 117

“Hey, Sarge you didn’t tell Carmen about Saturday night?” Carisi asked the following Monday morning.

“Carisi would I do something like that?”

“Yes,” Rafael and Carisi answered at the same time.

“Well, you know really I don’t feel comfortable keeping this a secret. Do you? Would you want to start your marriage off on a lie?”

“I just don’t think she needs to know about that.”

“Would you rather her find out about it, say, almost 17 years later?”

Rafael looked up from his phone, with his eyebrow raised.

“Or she could find out about it from someone other than you and keep in for those almost 17 years,” Izzy said while looking at her husband.

“Look at that. I am due in court. You’re on your own, Carisi.”

“Thanks, Barba,” Carisi scoffed.

“See you this evening. Te amo, cariño,” Rafael said as he placed a kiss on her cheek.

“Yep. Love you, too.”

“I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

“Not today.”

“That’s even worse,” he laughed as he headed to the elevator.

“So, what are you ladies taking Carmen to do Friday?”

“OH-ho-ho, that’s a secret, Carisi. Are you worried?”

“With you and Rollins at the helm, shouldn’t I be?”

“Oh, come on. We’re just going to have some harmless fun. You needn’t worry.”

“Just make sure she’s on time Saturday.”

“Liv get a load of this. Carisi doesn’t trust us taking Carmen out Friday.”

“Carisi what do you think we’re going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“She will be at Edgewater Hall on Staten Island at 6pm on Saturday, you have my word.”

“I know I can trust you, Lieu,” he said before walking off.

“Melinda’s getting the entertainment lined up, right?” Izzy asked Liv once Carisi was gone.

“Yep. You got the room reserved?”

“Sure do. Dinner first then to the Four Seasons. Amanda is taking care of the alcohol. Erin is, showing up.”

“I can’t believe she’s doing this at 5 ½ months pregnant.”

“She can’t drink, doesn’t mean she can’t have fun.”

“I suppose,” Liv snickered.

 

“So, what are you ladies up to tonight?” Rafael asked while Izzy finished getting ready.

“Oh, you know, dinner, drinks, that kind of stuff. We have ‘preggo’ with us so no cigar bar.”

“I see. You know, you never told me how you figured out about my bachelor party…”

“And like I said, that’s a secret,” she said with a wink.

“Did your brother rat me out?”

“How many times are you going to ask me that?”

“You can tell me.”

“And I have no. No. He wasn’t the one that told me. Nobody told me, I just knew. Something gave you away.”

“And you’ve kept in all this time? But why?”

“Cause it was more fun for you to think you got away with it.”

“I wasn’t trying to get away with anything, mi amor. I just didn’t want you upset.”

“Will you stop worrying? It was almost 17 years ago. Unless you have something to worry about?”

“Of course not. You should know better.”

“And I do. Okay. I will be home in the morning. You got your suit and Hudson’s ready?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Emersyn and Jack…”

“Will be fine. I can handle our kids for the night. You ladies behave yourselves.”

“We will.”

He took her in his arms and kissed so hard, her knees buckled.

“Uh, okay. I gotta go get Alice.”

“Have fun. Remember you have a husband that loves you at home.”

“I know, Rafa.”

 

“Okay, I have ones,” Carisi’s little sister, Bella laughed once they settled in the penthouse at the Four Seasons. 

“Come on, Bella. You need more than that,” his other sister Teresa scoffed.

“Okay, ladies. These guys aren’t going to care,” Melinda laughed. “They get paid a flat rate, everything else is just extra.”

“Sounds like you have experience with these guys,” Amanda chuckled.

“I’ve thrown a bachelorette party or two.”

“Alright, that’s enough. Carmen is the one with the ‘bride to be’ tiara. Tonight is about her. Tomorrow she officially becomes Mrs. Dominick ‘Sonny’ Carisi Jr. This is her last night as a single woman. Let’s let her enjoy it,” Izzy said.

“Just not too much.”

“She’s not you, Gina,” Bella remarked to the 2nd oldest Carisi sister.

“Okay! Okay!,” Liv said getting between the sisters. “We’re going to have a good time.”

“OPEN UP!! POLICE!!!” They heard from the other side of the door.

“Oh my god, it’s the police,” Amanda said, feigning fright.

“What seems to be the problem, officers?” Liv asked through the door.

“We have a noise a complaint!!”

“You better let them in,” Izzy laughed.

10 very muscular men in “cop uniforms” came in.

“Who’s the bride to be?” The one that bore a striking resemblance to Joe Manganiello asked before they all pointed to Carmen. 

They all enjoyed the dancers for the most part, Alice went even went so far as to untie one of the guys g-strings with her teeth. Izzy actually wanted to be home with Rafael and their kids.

“Alice!!”

“What, Izzy? I didn’t get to do this at my bachelorette party,” she laughed.

Gina ended up leaving with one of the dancers. The rest of them sat around drinking, talking, and laughing. 

“I think I love Nick,” Amanda slurred.

“What?”

“You heard me, Izz. I’m going to tell him. You should see him with all of our kids.”

“Our kids, huh?”

“Yep,” she laughed. “Hey, where’s Erin?”

“She left like an hour ago, along with Gina and Teresa.”

“Oh my god, Izzy, Bella just came up with the best idea,” Carmen said as she put her arm around her boss’ wife.

“And what’s that, Carmen?”

“We should jump in the pool!”

“Girl have you lost your mind?” Izzy laughed.

All of a sudden there was another loud knock on the door. “Who the hell,” Liv asked drunkenly.

“Ask,” Melinda laughed while sipping her vodka cranberry.

“Who’s thhheeerrreeee??”

“Fire department, ma’am,” they heard a voice say.

“Fire department? What the hell?” Izzy questioned. “Move, Liv,” she said as she opened the door to find Rafael, Brian, Fin, Sonny, Mike, Stone, and Nick standing outside. 

“You think I don’t check our bank account, putita?” Rafael whispered as he pulled her into him.

“Uh…no, Papi.”

“You have no idea the trouble you are in for. Bathroom now.”

“But…”

“Are you going to argue with Papi? Hmm?

“Lo siento, Papi,” she said as she took his hand and led him to one of the bathrooms in the penthouse suite.

“You really thought you were going to get away with this?”

“Get away with what,” she asked innocently.

He grabbed her by her hair and pushed his lips onto hers. “Get your ass on the counter…NOW,” he growled.

He didn’t waste a minute as he pulled her panties off in one fluid motion. His black pants and boxers fell to his ankles just as quick before he pushed his cock into her, causing a loud moan to escape from her lips.

“Shh, mi amor,” he said as he thrusted into her. His huge hands holding her by her ass. “Fuck, so tight, so warm,” he moaned against her neck as he kept going.

“Keep fucking me, Rafa,” she pleaded.

“Ah, fuck,” he moaned as his hips started to stutter while he emptied his load into his wife. She moaned as he filled her with his cum. 

“Damn, Rafa,” she whispered as they kissed once they finished.

“How much of my money did you spend,” he laughed as he pulled his boxers and pants up.

“Not much. I would’ve rather had you dancing for me.”

“Well, I can do that,” he said with that smirk she loved.

“I need to get back to my girls.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

They walked out of the bathroom to find everyone gone. “Well, we have this room all to ourselves,” he laughed into her hair.

“And our kids?”

“In Brooklyn.”

“Well, by all means your honor.”

 

“Carmen?”

“Yeah, Izzy?”

“Carisi told me that your vail got ruined?”

“Just this morning,” Carmen said with the saddest look on her face.

“Well, here,” Izzy said as she handed her a box.

“Izzy…”

“I never wore it. I only agreed to let my parents buy it cause my mom wouldn’t stop. I think it would be perfect with your dress.”

“Thank you so much. I’ll make sure you get it back.”

“Nonsense. It’s yours now. If Emersyn ever finds a guy that her Papi deems worthy enough, we’ll be buying an all new dress and vail.”

“Thank you,” Carmen said as she hugged Izzy. 

“You are more than welcome. You got a good guy in Carisi.”

“I know,” Carmen smiled as Izzy helped put her vail on.

“I was right. It’s perfect.”

“Carmen?”

“Yes, Dad?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Daddy this is Sergeant Izzy Barba, my boss’s wife.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Mr. Scott.”

“You, too, Sergeant. Carmen talks about you and your husband all the time.”

“She’s a gem.”

“Her mother and I think so, too,” Carmen’s dad smiled.

“Okay, Carmen. I’m going to head to my seat. Don’t forget your boss is Sonny’s best man,” Izzy laughed.

“How could I forget,” Carmen giggled.


	118. Chapter 118

“And just where in the hell do you think you’re going dressed like that?”

“I’m going to Hayden’s to study for finals, remember? What’s wrong with it, Papi?”

“Where do I start? That skirt is too short, your shirt is obviously missing most of the material around your shoulders…”

“Ugh, are you serious with this? I am almost 14 and will be a Freshman next year.”

“You are still in the eighth grade for another month and none of that matters.”

“I have seen pictures of Mami wearing the same amount of clothes, if not less.”

“She wasn’t 14, either. You don’t see her dressing like that now.”

“That’s because she’s old.”

“I’m sorry. Did you just say your mother is old? 42 is not old. Now I suggest you turn around, go back to your bedroom, and put on some studying appropriate clothing or you’re not going anywhere.”

“But…” Emersyn said as she actually stomped her foot.

“I said now!”

“Fine.”

“And I wonder why I had a heart attack,” he muttered to himself.

 

“So, Rollins did you chicken out about telling Nick how you really feel?”

“I was drunk, Izzy.”

“Please. Drunks words are sober thoughts.”

“Spare me.”

“Come on, Amanda.”

“I love him…as a friend. Like I love you.”

“Yeah, but I’ve never knocked you up.”

“I’d let you try,” Amanda laughed.

“Hey, hey!”

“Hey, look who’s back,” Fin said as they hugged Carisi.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you with so much color,” Izzy joked.

“A week in St. Barts, Sarge.”

“I’m surprised you got out of your room enough to get some sun,” Fin laughed.

Izzy stepped away to answer a phone call from Jackson. “Okay, just stay calm. I’ll be right there.”

“Everything okay, Sarge?”

“Uh, no, Fin. Emersyn and Jack’s school is on lock down. An unloaded gun was found on campus, local precinct is on the scene.”

“Let’s go. I’ll call Liv from the car.”

Liv had already heard and met them at the school, where hundreds of parents lined the sidewalks surrounding the school.

“Have you heard anything?”

“They just identified the student that brought the gun,” she told them. “Administration is supposed to be releasing students.”

They watched as the boy, no more than 13, was led out in cuffs by two uniformed officers. “He’s just a kid,” Carisi mused.

“As we’ve learned, Carisi, there’s no age limit for someone to kill.”

Carisi just kind of nodded at Fin. Nick and Rafael soon met the rest of the squad outside of the school.

“Are the kids okay?”

“They’ve been texting me. They’re just waiting to be released.”

“Did they know the kid?”

“I haven’t asked them yet. Nick have you heard from Zara?”

“Yeah. She’s like your two. Just waiting to get out of there. Man, two weeks of school left and this happens?”

 

“They’re both asleep at 1 in the afternoon?”

“Today was stressful, Rafa. I mean they spent hours on lock down, not knowing what was going to happen.”

“I know. I can’t imagine what they had to have been going through.”

“When was the last time Emersyn has hugged you like she did when they finally got out?”

“True. I could use a nap myself after today.”

“Well, Jessica won’t be back with Hudson until he gets out of school so go ahead.”

“You want to join me,” he asked with a half smile.

“Actually, yeah.”

“Come on,” he said as he took her hand and led her to their room. He didn’t unmake the bed, they just laid on top of the covers. He turned the tv on to “black-ish” reruns playing on FX to drown out their thoughts of the previous few hours and it didn’t take long for them to fall asleep.

“Do you guys need some help?” Emersyn asked as she and Jackson walked in the kitchen where their parents were.

“I think we got it,” Izzy told them.

“You guys doing okay?”

“We’re fine, Papi.”

“Jackson it’s okay to admit you were scared.”

“Remember when Mami got shot and you got beat up? We were scared just like that.”

“And that’s understandable. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“It was just like what if he hadn’t been, well told on, more or less? Sure, the gun was found unloaded but there were bullets in his locker. He had a plan.”

“Thankfully he wasn’t able to carry it out.”

“Yeah, I know.”

The kids had gotten to bed and they headed to theirs so they could start the day over tomorrow.

They were woken by Hudson screaming from his room.

“Hudson? What’s wrong?”

He didn’t speak as he seemed to search his mother over, up and down. 

“What’s wrong, mijo?”

“I had a bad dream, Papi.”

“I would say so,” Rafael said as he pushed Hudson’s sandy blond hair off of his forehead. “Do you remember what happened?”

“Mami was bleeding. She had been shot.”

“Why would you dream that?”

“I heard Jackson say.”

They didn’t realize he had heard their conversation in the kitchen earlier in the evening. “How about you come get in bed with me and Mami for the rest of the night?”

“Okay,” he nodded as he wiped his eyes. Rafael reached for his hand. “Mami will you carry me?”

“Sure,” she said as she picked him up. He didn’t let go of his mom all night.

 

“Hudson you are going to have to let Jessica take you to school. Mami has to go to work.”

“I don’t want you to!!”

“I’m sorry but I have to.”

“No!!!”

“Mijo how about I take you to school? Would that be better?”

“I guess,” he shrugged at Rafael’s question.

“Okay. Mami got a call and she has to go.”

“But…”

“It will be fine, I promise.”

Izzy kissed everybody before heading out to meet Carisi.

“Hey, Mr. Barba.”

“Good morning, Carmen.”

“What’s this little guy doing with you?” She asked when he walked up with Hudson.

“He had a bad night and bad morning. Remember when you and Carisi have kids, sometimes you just have to pick your battles.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she laughed.

“I have to be in court in 20 minutes. Do you mind keeping an eye on him for me?”

“Not at all. You want to help me work, Hudson?”

“Until my Mami gets here?”

“Yes, Carmen, could you try and get ahold of my wife? She was called out this morning by your husband, no less.”

“No problem.”

“Okay, mijo, now, Papi has to go to work. I want you to behave for Miss Carmen. Got it?”

“Yes, Papi. When will Mami be here?”

“I don’t know. Miss Carmen is going to call her. Maybe it won’t be too long.”


	119. Chapter 119

“How long do you think this phase is going to last?”

“I don’t know, Rafa. We never went through anything like this with Emersyn or Jackson.”

“I know Liv told you to take as much time as you needed but you can’t move without Hudson being right up under you. It’s not good for him or you.”

“You’re right. Maybe we should see if Dr. Lindstrom can refer us to someone. Ever since he heard about what happened to me 7 years ago…”

“Trust me, I’ve seen it. I mean, yeah, he has his days with me but it’s so much worse when it comes to you. He is terrified something is going to happen to you. He threw a fit when I tried to take him to Mami the other day. He won’t stay with your parents either.”

“I know. Poor kid.”

“You know part of what has caused that, don’t you?”

“What?”

“Come on, cariño. He is such a mama’s boy,” Rafael laughed.

“Like father, like son.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“I think you’re confused, mi amor.”

“Should I call your mother?”

“I was not a mama’s boy. I was an Abuelita’s boy. Get it right.”

“So sorry.”

“Mami time for bed?”

“Yes, come on, Hudson,” she said as lifted him onto the bed and laid him between her and Rafael.

“See? This is another thing. Our s-e-x life has taken a big hit.”

“Is that all you think about, Raf?”

“Well, when I’m not getting it, yes it is.”

“Just go to sleep,” Izzy laughed as she rolled her eyes.

“Easy for you to say.”

“Hush.”

“Yeah, hush, Papi. It’s time to go to sleep.”

“Yes, I know you and Mami have a big day of doing nothing tomorrow.”

“Are you mad, Papi?”

“No, mijo, I’m not mad,” he said realizing Hudson could sense the change in tone. “I’m just worried about you. Here, get under the covers.”

Izzy lightly stroked Hudson’s back to relax him. For the first time since this all began, he scooted over to his dad, and fell asleep.

 

“So, is there any way to manage this separation anxiety at his age?”

“He’s young so it could take some time, Mr. Barba. He’s had a consistent routine all this time?” Dr. Litchfield, the child psychologist Lindstrom had referred them to said.

“Since he was a baby.”

“He has a fear of something happening to his mother. When were you shot, Mrs. Barba?”

“2012. It wasn’t life threatening, just a shoulder wound.”

“Have you ever shown him the scar?”

“He’s seen it but we’ve never really discussed it.”

“That might be a place to start. Show him and explain to him you were not in danger of dying.”

“And then?”

“Get back into his routine and stick with it. Also, let him know it’s okay to be have the feelings he’s been having. The best thing you can do is not give in. I know parents feel terrible but sometimes, that’s the best thing. He will be with the nanny over the summer?”

“We do have some activities planned for him.”

“Good. That will be a good place to start over before going back to preschool.”

 

“Why do you have to go to Los Angeles, again?”

“Optimum Air, mi amor. I was the one that convened the grand jury, got the indictments…”

“How long are you going to be gone?”

“Just a few days. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Are you flying out with Liv?”

“No, she’s coming later today. Look, you get to be in charge again.”

“Yay for me,” she laughed. “It’s just me, Amanda, Fin, and Carisi since Erin is on bedrest.”

“You’re worried.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Hudson has done great the last week. Jessica knows what to do if he gets too out of hand.”

“He still doesn’t want to stay with this grandparents.”

“What did the doctor say?”

“I know, this isn’t going to be overnight.”

“Right. Okay, the car’s here to take me to the airport. I’ll call once I land.”

“Okay.”

“I love you,” he said as he kissed her.

“Love you, too. Hurry home.”

“I’ll do my best.”

 

“I should be home tomorrow evening,” Rafael told his wife over the phone two nights later. “Everything still going okay?”

“Yeah. Hudson fell asleep in his bed actually.”

“So, you’re all alone in ours?”

“Yes?”

“Do you miss me?”

“Of course, I do.”

“So, what are you wearing?”

“Rafa!”

“Come on,” he whined. “We haven’t had sex in weeks. I’m tired of jerking off to these videos and pictures in my phone.”

“My blue and pink shorts, pink tank top.”

“Panties?”

“The black ones you used to keep in your desk drawer.”

“Those are my favorites. I’m getting hard just thinking about the way they sit on your perfect ass.”

“Really?”

“You have no idea. You want me to show you?”

“Sure.”

It wasn’t even a minute that she received a text on her phone. “Wow,” she said to him. “You weren’t kidding.”

“No, ma’am,” he said in that low tone that he knew drove her insane. 

“So, what now, Papi?”

“Touch yourself.”

Her hand slid down her stomach and into her panties as she teased her clit with her finger, causing a soft moan to pass through her lips.

“Are you wet, cariño?”

“So wet, Papi. Just for you.”

“Good.”

“Are you touching yourself?”

“Yes,” he said with a shudder. “Picturing you taking all of my cock in that beautiful mouth.”

She slipped a finger inside while massaging her clit with her thumb, increasing speed and pressure as he talked about the things he wanted to do to her when he got home.

“Raf, I’m so close.”

“Come for me, cariño.”

That was enough to send her over the edge and her moans to do the same to him.

“That…was…fun.”

“Yes, it was,” he laughed. “We haven’t done that since you were in law school. We haven’t had to.”

“Raf.”

“I’m only kidding. God, I am going to tear you up the next chance I get.”

“Don’t be too rough on me, Papi.”

“Nunca, Mami. Well, it’s 9:30 here which means it’s 1:30 there. You need to be in bed or asleep I mean.”

“Why are you in bed so early?”

“Nothing to do here.”

“It’s L.A.”

“Okay, nothing I want to do here. Any way, I need to clean up my…mess,” he scoffed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I hope.”

“Me, too.”

“Buenas noches, cariño. Dulces sueños. Te quiero.”

“I love you, too. Good night.”


	120. Chapter 120

“I’ve been a judge for over a year and that’s the first time we’ve ever had sex in here,” Rafael laughed as he fixed his rainbow checkered tie.

“Have you seen my panties?”

“Yep. They’re right here,” he smirked as he held them up.

“Give them here,” Izzy said as she tried to grab them from her husband.

“Uh-uh. You took the black ones back so these will take their place.”

“I am in a skirt and I have to testify for Stone in an hour.”

“Well, it’s not like the witness stand in my courtroom is see-through.”

“I hate you some days, Rafael Barba,” she said as she turned away to grab her jacket.

“No, you don’t, Elizabeth Barba. You like when I tease you,” he said as he softly bit the back of her neck. 

“Mr. Barba?” Carmen called over the speakerphone.

“Yes?”

“Sorry to interrupt your…lunch but there’s someone here that is asking to see you.”

He picked up the receiver, “Is it an attorney? Have you ever seen her before? Okay, fine, send her in.”

“I need to go meet with Stone…”

“Not yet, mi amor. I don’t know this person that has apparently been wanting to see me.”

Carmen escorted a woman, about the same size as Izzy, hair a few shades lighter than his, with green eyes into his chambers.

“Are you Rafael Barba?”

“Yes?”

She just kind of stood looking very nervous. “I’m sorry. My name is Sarah Russo. I was born January 23rd, 1977. Does that have any significance to you?”

“No, can’t say that it does. Should it?”

“I was born at St. Barnabas Hospital in the Bronx just like you were.”

Izzy started to get a little creeped out and slowly reached for her gun.

“I was born to Miguel and Lucia Barba,” she finally managed to say as she handed Rafael a folder. “I was adopted six days after I was born and raised in Rhode Island.”

Rafael went through the paperwork in the folder. “There has to be a mistake. I’m an only child and I think I would remember if my mother had been pregnant after me.”

“Raf…”

“I just found out I was adopted a few months ago. You can keep that file. I know you’re a judge and you’ll want to go through everything. I just moved here, uh here’s my card. If you ever want to make heads or tails of this…I’m sorry to have sprung this on you.”

He watched as she walked out before he threw the file on his desk. “This is a mistake.”

“How do you know? How much do you remember from when you were two?”

“You don’t think I’d remember this?”

“Maybe not.”

“Then why was it kept a secret from me? Mami, Abuelita even? You honestly SHE would’ve kept this from me?”

“If your mom asked…”

“Here,” he said handing her the file. “You’ve got friends that can confirm this.”

“Why don’t you just talk to your mom?”

“I want proof and if this is a mistake then I want proof to show…Sarah.”

“Fine. I’ll see what I can find out. I have to meet Stone.”

“I’ll be there in a little while.”

 

“Izzy what brings you by?”

“I needed to talk to you, just us, Lucia.”

“Sure, come on in. Do you want something to drink?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Rafael is an only child, right?”

“Of course, mija. Why do you ask?”

The detective in Izzy wanted to come out but she knew that would get here no where with her mother in law so she just handed her the folder. She watched Lucia’s face as she looked at the original birth certificate, the adoption papers, everything. “When did you find her?”

“She found Rafael. She showed up in his office today. So, it’s true?”

Lucia nodded with tears in her eyes. “We could barely afford to take care of Rafael and I couldn’t have an abortion. My parents would’ve hated me. I did what I thought was best.”

“You never told Rafael?”

“I couldn’t. He wouldn’t have understood.”

“What about when he got older?”

“Like everything else, I just buried it.”

“The sign of a true Catholic. Lina?”

“I begged her to never tell him. When he got older, she brought it up and I just ignored her.”

“You know I have to tell him this all legit.”

Lucia took a deep breath, “Maybe I should come with you. I need to be honest after 43 years.”

Izzy was a little aggravated at her mother in law for having kept this secret from Rafael all these years but she was going to sit by her side when she came clean.

 

“You kept this from me for 43 years?”

“Raf…”

“I have had a sister out there all this time and you never could tell me? Did you not think that she might try to find us one day?”

“Honestly, no I didn’t think about that. I just thought I had a hard enough time taking care of you there was no way we could take care of another one.”

“So, you gave up my sister for me basically is what you’re saying?”

“In a way, I suppose. I was going to school, taking care of you while your dad was working.”

“Enough. It’s not even about that. It’s the fact that you kept this from me, my grandparents kept this from me!”

“Rafael, lower your voice,” his wife instructed. 

“Are you seriously taking her side after she kept this a secret? Since we’re coming clean, we have a secret that we’ve kept for 22 years.”

“Rafa…”

“No, Izzy. She’s come clean about my sister that she gave up for adoption so I’m going to come clean about her grandchild that we aborted in 97.”

“What?”

“Izzy was in her sophomore year at Harvard, I was in my senior year. We had an accident and we knew we couldn’t take care of a baby so we did what we had to do, like you did.”

“Well…if that’s what you two thought was best.”

“Really, Mom? It doesn’t bother you?”

“It bothers me that you didn’t think you could talk to me but you did what you had to.”

“Whatever. You can see yourself out.”

“Rafael!!”

“No, Izzy, it’s fine. I understand.”

 

Izzy walked Lucia to the elevator in their building. “I am so sorry, Lucia…”

“Stop. He has every right to be upset. I shouldn’t have thought that I’d tell the truth and everything would be okay. It’s going to take some time. Don’t let him work himself into another heart attack over this.”

“I won’t. Just give him a few days.”

“So, I forgot to ask, you saw her. What did she look like?”

“Actually, she looked like a younger version of you. She gave Rafael her card if you want…”

“Not yet. Maybe one day if she wants. So, you’ll bring the kids to me Friday?”

“Yes, if that’s okay. We got tickets to ‘Waitress’, which I have been begging your son to take me to for months.”

“Okay, well, I’ll see you Friday.”

Izzy walked back in to find Rafael with the folder in his hand, pacing back and forth in his office.

“Hey.”

“What?” He said as he sat behind his desk.

“I know this is dumb to ask…”

“Don’t ask me if I’m okay.”

“Okay, I won’t.”

“How can she have kept this from me? It’s like my entire life, the people I loved the most just lied their asses off.”

“They only did that…”

“Stop with the psychobabble! I don’t want to hear it! Not now, not ever!”

“Wow,” Izzy just kind of mouthed to herself. 

"And unless you can talk your parents into keeping the kids Friday, we're not going anywhere. I'll give the tickets to Carisi and Carmen."

"Wha-"

"I just can't deal with her right now."


	121. Chapter 121

“Rafa you can’t keep pushing your mom away.”

“I don’t want to hear it, Izzy! Not from you!”

“What do you want me to say? Am I supposed to be okay with this?”

“Yes! You’re my wife! You’re supposed to respect any decision I make.”

“Excuse me? When did this stop being a marriage of equals?”

“That’s easy for you to say. You had the perfect family. I didn’t and now…now?!”

Izzy didn’t know what to say, if anything. She knew her husband was conflicted, to say the least. He was taking it out everyone, however. “Look, Carisi and Carmen are watching the kids so we can have this one night…”

“Yeah because that’s all you think about is me spending money on you.”

“WHOA!!! I have been with you since you were a broke college student working in the Harvard bookstore and you’re gonna say that to me?”

“Oh, you’re going to tell me you don’t enjoy the perks of having a judge for a husband?”

“Wow. I get that you’re upset but,” she started as she pulled the diamond earrings from her ears, “I’m not going out with you like this. I’ll call Carisi.”

“Cariño,” he said as he stopped her from leaving their bedroom. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop, Raf. Look you’re obviously too upset for us to go out and have a nice evening together.”

“No, I’m not. I love you.”

“And I love you but I don’t want you doing something you don’t want to do.”

“No, I do. I didn’t mean what I said. You make almost as much as I do. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I know you’re upset about all of this but you can’t keep the kids from their Abuela.”

“I just can’t right now. Can you give me that? Please?”

“Okay. I bet that’s the Carisi’s,” Izzy said after hearing the doorbell ring. 

 

It had been a whole two weeks since Rafael had found the news that would change his life. He still wasn’t talking to his mother, which killed Izzy. She was all Rafael had besides the Rossetti’s and she just hated the fact that he had turned his back on his mother.

“Ma?” Izzy said as she answered the door. “What brings you guys into the city?”

“Where’s my son in law?” Anthony asked.

“His home office,” Izzy answered meekly. She knew that tone in her father’s voice all too well.

Anthony made his way down the hall to Rafael’s home office. “You busy?”

“Uh, no, Anthony. Come in, have a seat. You want a drink?”

“Scotch is fine, son.”

Rafael poured them each a glass of 35-year MacAllen before he sat down in the chair next to Anthony. Anthony took a drink and sat his glass on Rafael’s oak desk. “You know, Rafael, I always felt you and I had a special bond. A bond I didn’t have with Tony because you and I had almost the same upbringing.”

“And?”

“Your mother in law and I had a visitor the other day.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It was your mother.”

“Excuse me?”

“Anything you need to tell me son?”

“I’m guessing you already know what I’ve found out.”

“Yes, I do. I get why you’re upset. I’m not saying you don’t have the right to be but you did the same thing to your mom that she’s done to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You think your mother didn’t tell us about the spring of 1997?”

Rafael couldn’t even speak when his father in law mentioned that. “I…I…” The normally articulate Honorable Rafael E. Barba was hardly at a loss for words.

“Why didn’t you come to me when you got my daughter pregnant?”

Rafael couldn’t stop his tears as everything came to a boil. “I’m so sorry, Anthony,” he sobbed.

“Shh. It’s okay, son,” Anthony said as he held onto his son in law. “You kept that from us and now you’re mad because your mother has kept a secret from you? You can’t do that. You are not a hypocrite.”

“This is different…”

“No, Rafael, it’s not. Now, I don’t judge what you and my daughter did all those years ago but you could’ve came to someone.”

“We didn’t think we could,” Rafael said as he continued to cry.

“Well, you could’ve at least called me. I wouldn’t have let you work so much.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. If that’s what you two had decided to do, Stella and I would’ve supported you. Even if you had went a different way. Son you have always had our support, no matter what.”

“Thank you, Dad,” Rafael said as he wiped his eyes. 

“Don’t you think you owe your mother the same courtesy?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “This has been 43 years…”

“And you kept a secret from all of us for 22 years? Do you really think that’s right? You don’t think we had a right to know?”

“Maybe.”

“And you don’t think you not speaking to your mother is the way to make everything okay?”

“It’s not just her. My grandparents kept this from me.”

“Rafael there’s nothing you can do about that now. You have to forgive your mother.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“If you can’t then you’re gonna end up having problems with my daughter, and she loves you more than anything.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you got pregnant in 97?”

“Ma, Rafael and I handled it!” Izzy told Stella.

“You didn’t have to handle it alone.”

“I didn’t. Rafael was there before, during, and after.”

“What about Erin?”

“She didn’t know.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, Ma. The only person that knew was Rafael until a few years ago when I told Amanda.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No, Ma, honestly. We’d have an almost 22-year-old. We probably wouldn’t be together and would have Emersyn, Jackson, and Hudson.”

“At least you can see that side of it.”

“What other way am I supposed to see it, Ma?”

 

“How’s Barba doing?”

“No better, no worse, Liv.”

“I can only imagine…well I can sort of imagine what he’s going through.”

“Liv that was different,” Izzy told her referring to how Liv found out about her biological brother Simon.

“Not necessarily. I had my DNA ran to find any matches but Barba…well…”

“He can’t find out that I took his razor and her…”

“He never will but maybe you should break the ice. Call her yourself, invite her to lunch. Just talk to her. Maybe she doesn’t want anything from Barba.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

 

“Izzy?”

“Hey, Sarah.”

“I’m so glad you, well someone, called me.”

“Sergeant Barba, here’s your MacAllen 35-year and for your guest?”

“Sarah?”

“Oh, a glass of Pinot Noir will be fine.”

“Your best, Adam,” Izzy told the bartender.

“So, you’re a Sergeant for the NYPD?”

“Special Victims Unit, actually. You?”

“I’m actually a doctor, Oncologist to be exact. I guess our parents could only afford to send of us to school.”

“Actually, your brother worked his ass off to graduate at the top of his class in high school, college, and law school.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s fine but make no mistake. Your brother didn’t have it easy. Your father was an abusive drunk…you know what? I shouldn’t be telling you this.”

“No, Izzy. Please? I want to know. What kind of guy is my brother?”

“Honestly? He’s not the type of man that lets anyone too close to him, with the exception of me and that took time.”

“How long have you two been together?”

“24 years this December.”

“Wow. So you guys met…”

“95. I was a freshman, he was a junior and unbeknownst to me or my brother, they were roommates.”

“And you guys just met by chance?”

“More or less. He worked in the bookstore and I needed books,” Izzy laughed. “He didn’t come off as a guy I wanted to date at first though. We forged a friendship and then a few months later we finally gave in to our feelings, rather I gave in.”

“What are my parents like?”

“Your dad is dead and honestly, he’s not the type you’d have felt bad for.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Your brother and your mother both have scars, physically, from what he did to them.”

 

“Where have you been?!”

“I was out,” Izzy answered as she threw her keys into the bowl on the table by their door.

“With who?”

“A friend.”

“A friend? It wasn’t Nick, Rollins, Fin, Liv, Carisi, Erin, or Liv.”

“So? I told you I was getting drinks after work.”

“And it wasn’t with Stone so that leaves all of your colleagues.”

“What about Cassidy? Or Melinda?”

“I checked with Warner and how often have you went out with Cassidy?”

“Fine. I was with your sister.”

“What?!”

“I was getting to know her, trying to feel her out.”

“And?!”

“She’s just wanting to get know you.”

“Oh and I guess you said you’d make that happen?”

“No! You make up with your mother first, Sunday at dinner.”

“We’re not just going to be some happy family…”

“Baby, I know I saw you in my dad’s arms and that’s a side of Rafael I haven’t seen in years.”

“I just can’t…”

“Can’t what? Can’t open your heart to someone else? Yes, you can. I know you can.”

“You’ve always seen a different side of me that I never saw.”

“That’s what I’m here for, Rafa.”


	122. Chapter 122

“I think Mass is even longer as an adult,” Rafael groaned as he took off the red striped tie and rolled up his sleeves once they got home from church. “And why all of a sudden did you insist on going to church today?”

“Oh, forgive me for wanting to do something on a Sunday besides the kids being face down in their tablets or phone and you being holed up in your office.”

“I get it, cariño. It’s just we’re the Easter and Christmas Mass type family, not every Sunday, like Carisi. Hell, he goes on Columbus Day,” he scoffed.

“Look, I just thought we could all use it.”

“Okay, I’m gonna get a drink. You want one?”

“No, I got to start getting things together for dinner.”

“You’re really making me do this?”

“Yes, I am. You need to stop acting like a child.”

“I’m not acting like a child.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing. Do you want some help?”

“Sure,” she smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Listen, if you do this and everything goes smoothly, and since our sex life has been on the backburner lately, I’ll give you whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want, huh?”

“Hmm-mmm,” she nodded. “Whatever…however you want it but you have to behave and I mean it.”

“Okay.”

 

“Everything smells wonderful,” Lucia said as she walked into the kitchen. “Do you need any help?”

“I think I’ve got everything taken care of, Lucia. Glass of wine?”

“That would be lovely. So, I notice he didn’t come to the door.”

“It’s going to be fine, Lucia.”

“I know you know my son better than he knows himself but he’s never been this angry with me.”

“Trust me. He’s going to behave.”

“Say no more,” Lucia laughed as she put her hands up. “So, Jackson said you guys went to Mass this morning?”

“And the church is still standing, believe it or not.”

“Well it does you some good to go.”

“Hey, Izzy.”

“Hey, Chief. I see you found the scotch.”

“My step-son brought it to me.”

“Of course, he did. Okay everything is done so I’ll start getting it to the table.”

“Bill and I can help you, can’t we?”

“Absolutely, Lucy.”

 

Dinner was awkward at best. Conversation was forced, Rafael wouldn’t even look at his mother. He answered in very short responses. “Emersyn, you and Jackson take Hudson into the kitchen and finish dinner in there, please.”

“Sure, Mami.” 

“Raffi you can’t keep ignoring me.”

“Mami I am doing everything I can to move past this. No me presiones, por favor (don’t push me).”

“Raf…”

“Babe, dinner is great but I’ve lost my appetite,” he said as he began to get up from his chair.

“Sit down!” Lucia told her 44-year-old son. “Now, this is enough. I made a mistake by not telling you about your sister but there was never the right time and I knew you would feel guilty when you didn’t have to. I have lived with this for 43 years, If I could’ve kept both of you, I would’ve. I’m sorry Mama kept it from you but she only did so because I asked her to. I didn’t think things through obviously, your father and I just did what we thought was best. He only made $3.50 an hour at his job. That’s why I was going to school.”

“Did he ever bring her up in his last years?”

“Once.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me then?”

“You were busy with your job, two kids. I couldn’t burden you with that then.”

“I just wish I would’ve known,” he said as his face softened.

“I know, mijo. I should’ve told you instead of her walking into your office one day.”

“This is it, right? No more secrets?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Okay,” he nodded as he started to finish his dinner.

 

“See that wasn’t so bad,” Izzy laughed as she and Rafael finished cleaning up the kitchen.

“I’m just ready to move on. Thank you for making me do this.”

“Well, I really didn’t make you do anything. I knew you wouldn’t skip dinner.”

“You tricked me by making my favorite, too.”

“Of course, I did.”

“Now, I think you promised me something,” he said as he pulled his wife into his arms, their noses barely grazing. She stared into his green eyes as his hand ran lightly over her cheek. 

“I hope you’re not hinting at kitchen sex,” she laughed after their lips parted. “We have three kids that are still very much awake.”

“I know,” he said as he rolled his eyes. “Although it’s been a while since I’ve bent you over the bar,” he whispered in her ear before taking her earlobe between his lips.

“Stop,” she giggled. “Yes, I did promise you something but you didn’t behave the entire time.”

“Please,” he begged as he flashed his fake pout that she could never say no to.

“Ugh, okay. What do you want?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. You did say whatever I wanted.”

“I know that look.”

“It’s been a while.”

“It has but…you know it makes scream when you put your dick in my ass.”

“That’s what I’m counting on. Me encanta oírte gritar mi nombre (I love hearing you scream my name).”

“Tan sucio (so dirty), Papi.”

“Te gusta cuando Papi está sucio. ¿No es así? (You like it when Papi's dirty. Don't you?)”

“Sabes que sí (You know I do).”

“Sólo espera hasta más tarde, Mami (Just wait until later, Mami).”

“¿Es una promesa? (Is that a promise?)”

“Sabes que lo es (You know it is).”

 

“She’s beautiful, guys,” Izzy said as they marveled over their new niece.

“Why didn’t you call anybody?”

“Well, we know you’ve had a lot going on and we didn’t want to bother Ma and Pop, Barba. It was just easier this way. Not too much drama.”

“I get it. Thank God she looks Erin, huh?”

“Thanks, brother in law, really.”

“Oh, you were just as terrible to me when Emersyn was born.”

“Tony don’t you think we should tell them her name?”

“Oh yeah, right. Her name is Arianna Elizabeth.”

“What?”

“Well, think about, you were the reason we met in the first place.”

“You guys could’ve still met.”

“Maybe but we more than likely wouldn’t have without you.”

“Well, thanks guys. Really. That means a lot.”

“And it would mean a lot to us if you guys would return the favor of not just being aunt and uncle but…”

“Just tell us when to be there, Tony,” Rafael snickered as he rolled his eyes at his brother in law’s hesitation.


	123. Chapter 123

“Thank you for meeting me. I know I wasn’t exactly welcoming that day in my office,” Rafael told his newly discovered sister.

“It’s fine. I mean that was a lot to take in. I had thought about sending you an email, I had come by a few times but you were in court, which was probably better cause I got sick in the bathroom a few times…”

“Whoa.”

“What? Too much?”

“A little,” he laughed. “You talk as fast as I do. That comes from our mother.”

“What’s she like?”

“She’s tough, smart, she loves her grandchildren more than anything.”

“Izzy said you have 3 kids?”

“Two boys and a girl,” he said showing her a picture on his phone from Easter. “That’s Emersyn, Jackson, and our youngest Hudson.”

“Emersyn looks just like her mother and Jackson looks just like you. Hudson seems to be a cross.”

“Oh, when he gets mad, he gets the same looks as his Mami, I assure you. What about you? Any kids?”

“One. I have a daughter, Brittany, she’s 13. She lives with her father right now until I get everything settled with my parents estate.”

“Yeah, Izzy told me they were killed in a car accident and you were going through their things and that’s how you found out you were adopted.”

“Yeah, I went to bed after burying my parents an Italian, I wake up the next morning to find out I’m Cuban,” Sarah joked. 

“It’s not so bad. So how long were you married?”

“7 years. We had very different…interests. Actually, you could say we had very similar interest.”

“Oh, I see. I’m sorry?”

“There were always signs. I just chose to ignore them. So, Izzy said our father…”

“Alcoholic, abusive, womanizer, I can keep going but I think you get the picture.”

“When did he die?”

“2011. Slipped into a diabetic coma, I kept him on life support for 6 weeks because I did want the burden of being the reason he took his last breath.”

“I’ve seen that a lot, actually.”

“Where did you go to medical school?”

“Alpert Medical School at Brown. Undergraduate at Brown as well. You went all the way through Harvard to Harvard Law?”

“Yep. Had my mind made up when I was 15 that I was getting out of the Bronx one way or another.”

“After what you’ve told me about our father, I can’t say I blame you. So, does our, your mother know that you and your wife have been in contact with me?”

“Yes, our mother knows. It’s up to you if you want to meet her.”

 

“So, you guys were gonna what, wait until the baby came out to tell us Carmen is pregnant?” Amanda laughed as she, Nick, Izzy, Rafael, Jesse, Hudson, and Aiden went to the Carisi’s one afternoon in August 2019.

“We just wanted to make sure everything was okay before we said anything.”

“But damn, she’s 5 months along. Barba how did you not catch this?”

“Please, he barely makes eye contact with me unless he’s barking orders at me,” Carmen joked.

“That’s probably true, honestly. So, are you sure you’re ready for this, Carisi?”

“Please. I have helped with Hudson and Jesse.”

“And so you’re ready to be a father?”

“Absolutely, Nick.”

“What kind of birth plan do you have in mind, Carmen?”

“Well, if everything is okay, I want to do it at home like you did, Izzy.”

“Good luck with that, Carisi.”

“Come on, Barba. It can’t be that bad.”

“Do you not remember the bruises I had on my arms from my wife?”

“Raf it wasn’t that bad.”

“I beg to differ, mi amor. You never screamed so much in your life.”

“Well, I think Carmen can handle it and so I can know what she’s experiencing when she’s in labor, we got one of those little machines…”

“No way! Ohhh, you got to do this today.”

“No, Nick. We haven’t taken it out of the box yet.”

“Amaro’s right. Come on, Carisi. We’ll do it, too.”

“Seriously, Barba?”

“Yeah, seriously, Raf?”

“Like you don’t want to see me in mock labor pain?”

“The man’s gotta point. Come on, Carisi. Let Carmen see how you handle the pain.”

“Yeah, come on, babe.”

“Fine but only because I love you, Carmen. Go get it,” Carisi laughed.

“Are you nervous?”

“No, Barba, I can handle this.”

“We shall see,” he laughed as Carmen handed him the remote.

“Wait, what?”

“Remember that little comment you made about my height last year?”

“Yeah?”

“Well so do I, asshole.”

“Okay that one wasn’t so bad.”

“Well, let’s just see if I can change that.”

“Think about this, Barba.”

“Give it to me.”

“No, it’s mine, Nick.”

“Guys! Okay! Oh my god! Ow! Ow! Ow! Please, guys stop!” Carisi begged as Nick and Rafael’s tug of war was causing them to push all sorts of buttons, torturing Carisi. Carmen finally took it away from them. “I think I’m gonna throw up. I don’t know if I want you giving birth to our child at home.”

“Uh, it’s her choice, Carisi.”

“Yeah and weren’t you the one that kept extolling the benefits of a home birth to me when I was pregnant with Hudson?”

“But that hurt!!”

“Okay, Barba’s turn.”

“No, Amaro before me.”

“No, no, short stuff,” Izzy teased. “Lay down and lift up your shirt.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Where’s my phone?”

“No, Rollins!! No recording this!”

Izzy nodded to Carmen to record it on her phone.

“Okay, you ready?”

“Yeah, just come on. Carisi was right. The first isn’t so bad.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah, I was wrong.”

Izzy had a little too much fun with the controller in her hand. “You just gotta breathe, Rafa.”

“Is that how I sounded to you cause I kinda want to punch you in the face,” he said as he managed to laugh after an even stronger “contraction”.

He ended up handling it pretty well, much to Izzy’s surprise.

“Come on, Amaro. Your turn.”

“No, no. I’m good.”

“Nope. Sit your ass down and do it. Carisi and Barba handled it just fine. Well, Carisi not so much,” Amanda joked.

“Fine,” Nick said as he laid down.

“Okay get it off! Get it off now!” He begged.

“Come on, stop being a wuss,” Carisi laughed.

“Shut it, Carisi! Okay, Amanda that’s enough. Please?”

“Fine. You lasted longer than Carisi did at least.” 

“This would be a blast at parties,” Barba scoffed.

 

“Why can’t I go to a normal high school?”

“Emersyn there is nothing wrong with continuing your education in Catholic School. I went to Catholic school.”

“Mami didn’t.”

“I’m not having this conversation with you again. You should be glad that your mother and I are able to pay to send you to a decent school!”

“Ugh, you don’t get it!!”

“What am I supposed to get? You’ve done just fine with God as your principal. Está loca. Creo que voy a enviarla a la escuela pública (she’s crazy. think I'm going to send her to public school)”, he muttered to himself as he walked into the kitchen.

“Emersyn what did you do to your father now?” Izzy asked as she walked in the door at the tail end of self-conversation. 

“Why do I have to go to high school…”

“Stop,” Izzy said as she held her hand up. “So, help me if this is about Sam…”

“It’s not, Mom!”

“Tell me that with a straight face.”

“She’s lying,” Jackson said walking up behind them.

“Will you shut up?!”

“Hmm, I’m gonna say no. Do you have another stupid question for me, big sister?”

“Okay, both of you shut up and go to your rooms and just…be weird somewhere else for now. Your Aunt Liv and I had a very long day at CompStat and I just want to get out of my uniform and relax.”

“Ugh, fine,” Emersyn said as she rolled her eyes. “The only reason Papi is making me keep going to this school is because our ‘cousin’ is going to it.”

“What’s with the air quotes? Brittany is your cousin. Her mom is your aunt.”

“She’s a nerd.”

“Emersyn Catalina Barba! I don’t want that coming out of your mouth!”

“Sorry Mom but…”

“Maybe we do need to change your school so you can get away from your friends if you’re going to act like Regina George.”

“God, Mom that movie is so old!”

“Room! Now!”

Izzy was taking off her uniform that she hardly wore when Rafael met her in their bedroom.

“Hola, sexy.”

“Hey,” she said with a smile.

“I have dinner in the oven for you. Damn, I forgot how hot you are in this…Sergeant,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and placing a kiss on her neck.

“Don’t start that now. It’s the middle of the day.”

“Come on. I’ll be quick.”

“Are we going to have this discussion again?”

“I can be quick.”

“Rarely,” she laughed.

“I’ve never heard you complain.”

“Oh, I’m not complaining, I assure you. Let me get out of this and I’ll help you finish dinner.”

“Fine,” he said as he rolled his eyes. “Tonight, though…you are mine.”

“Yes, sir, your honor.”

“Now who’s starting?”

“What did I do?”

“Don’t bat those brown eyes at me, cariño.”

“Get over here and give me a real kiss, guapo.”

“My pleasure,” he smirked as he obliged. “So, I have something I need to talk to you about.”

“What’s that? Are you pregnant?”

“If I am, it would be by immaculate conception,” he joked. “No, Carmen talked to me today.”

“And?”

“She said Carisi is thinking of finally using his law degree and putting down his badge.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah with the baby coming, she said he feels like he should get out of the line of fire.”

“And what did you say?” Izzy asked her husband as she crossed her arms.

“I said I’d write his letter of recommendation.” 

“That doesn’t surprise me. You did help him when he was in law school.”

“Unwillingly,” he scoffed as he took a drink of his scotch. “Don’t say anything to Liv just yet. ¿Entiendes?”

“Yes, Raf. I won’t say anything. To her. It’s Carisi’s place, not mine.”

“Okay, well hurry up and get changed so we can finish dinner, baby.”

“Be right there, Rafa.”


	124. Chapter 124

“Mi amor wake up!”

“What is it, Rafa?” Izzy groaned as she rolled over.

“Come on! Don’t you remember what day it is?!”

“Ugh, yes,” she laughed.

“Well, come on. We don’t have a second to waste,” he said as he practically sprung out of bed and headed down the hall, singing “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”. “Alright!! UP!!! ¡ Vamos, los traseros fuera de la cama (Come on, asses out of bed!)!”

“Ugh, Dad, you get weirder every year on this day,” Emersyn moaned as she got out of bed.

“You’re not excited for your first day of your Freshman year?”

“Yes, but why are you singing Christmas songs?”

“Cause this is the greatest gift parents can receive. Date prisa, tu mama está comenzando el desayuno (Hurry up, your mother is starting breakfast). Jackson!!”

“Estoy despierto, Papi (I’m up)!”

“Dos abajo, uno para ir (two down, one to go). Hudson!”

He was more excited than the kids it seemed, which made Izzy laugh as she started the coffee and breakfast.

“I think Dad has had too much caffeine already.”

“He hasn’t had any yet, Emersyn.”

“Jeez,” she said as she rolled her eyes.

“What are you doing? Why aren’t you dressed?”

“Dad, my hair and make-up is done. I still have plenty of time. Calm down, don’t have another heart attack.”

“Watch your mouth. And give me that. You’re not drinking coffee with your breakfast.”

“I get stuff from Starbucks all the time.”

“Don’t care. Have juice or milk with your breakfast.”

 

“Where was Alexa when our kids were babies and I was home alone with them to remind me of things,” Rafael laughed as they sat on the couch watching tv, trying to throw popcorn or goldfish crackers in each other’s mouths. “We used to be so much better at this in college.”

“Our eye sight was better then, Rafa.”

“It’s been such a nice quiet day around here. How much time do we have left?”

“4 hours, 7 minutes, 32, 33 seconds.”

“You know what we can do, several more times, in those 4 hours.”

“3 times is enough,” she laughed.

“Since when?”

“Babe.”

“Fine. Somebody’s getting old.”

“Rafael!”

“Hey, don’t throw a handful of popcorn at me! You’re making a mess!”

“So?”

“Alright then! You asked for it!” He said throwing a handful of goldfish at his wife.

“Hey, those are dangerous! Fine!”

“Where are you going?”

“Mind your business, that’s all. Just mind your business,” she said as she ran to the kitchen.

“Okay, no more ‘Fresh Prince’ reruns in this house. Let me in!”

“NO! You stay right there.”

“Cariño, don’t make me break this door in.”

“Don’t even try it!” She laughed as she opened the door.

“Hey, what are you doing with that whipped cream?”

“Get away from the refrigerator, Rafael.”

“You can be armed but I can’t?”

“What’s behind your back?”

“We had more than one can of whipped cream in there, Elizabeth.”

“Hey, that one is supposed to be saved for…you know.”

“Well, you might have to get some more.”

“Did you really just spray me?! You are so dead!”

They stood in the kitchen spraying each other with whipped cream until the cans were empty.

“I’m gonna kill you,” Izzy said as she caught her breath.

“Come here,” he said as took a hand towel to wipe her face off. “Wait, I missed some,” he said as he licked a spot on her neck before biting it lightly.

“Raf, we’re sticky.”

“So? We have time to shower and clean up in here.”

“You want to do it in here?”

“You read my mind, mi amor,” he whispered as he picked up her up and wrapped her legs around his waist while he sat her on the bar. 

 

“Did you know Carisi is going to the DA’s office?”

“Well, Liv…”

“I know you know.”

“Barba said something about it and so did Carmen and so did Carisi.”

“And you couldn’t give me a heads up,” Liv laughed.

“He asked me not to until he knew for sure what he was going to do for sure.”

“Well, I’ll still have you, Erin, Amanda, and Fin.”

“See? There’s the silver lining. All women and Fin.”

“At least Fin can help me keep the three of you in line.”

“Are you sure you want to go with that?”

“I heard it. Go on, get out of here. And you’re helping me plan his going away party for keeping this a secret.”

“Oh jeez, thanks, Lieu.”

“Well, you roped me into helping plan Carmen’s gender reveal.”

“And boy do I have something planned,” Izzy laughed.

“I know that look. Same one you get when you have some nefarious plan to punish your husband over something.”

“Who? Me? Crap!”

“What?”

“I left him handcuffed to the bed.”

“What?! No, you didn’t.”

“Ah, but you believed me for a minute.”

“Because it wouldn’t shock me with you two.”

 

“Okay, explain this to me, one more time.”

“They did a random locker check and…”

“And you had pot in your locker?! The third week of school?”

“I don’t know what the big deal is?”

“Seriously, Emersyn? I am a judge and your mother is a cop but you don’t know what the big deal is?!”

“It’s not like it was cocaine or something.”

“You are 14! And you realize you just cost me and your mother $6,000 for a semester of school which you are not allowed to return to?!”

“It’s not like it’s a lot.”

“What?! Do you work for it like we do? No! We both put our lives on the line every single day and that’s what you have to say to me!?”

“I’m not the only…”

“You’re the one that got caught and EXPELLED!”

“Mom…”

“Don’t look at me, Emersyn.”

“I’ve heard you two talk about smoking it.”

“In college!!! And it wasn’t an everyday thing!”

“Heard you got busted with pot, big sister.”

“Jackson, go to your room!” Rafael said without turning around.

“Yes, sir.”

“Emersyn go to your room and bring me your phone, iPad, and laptop because you only use it for homework, which you don’t have because you don’t have a school right now!”

“Fine!”

“Raf, calm down. I mean she is right…”

“We were in our 20s and we didn’t get caught with it!”

“Okay, okay. You’re right.”

“We have done this to her. We have catered to her ever since the Anorexia issues. What are going to do with her now? She won’t get into a good college now with this on her record.”

“Because that’s what I’m worried about right now,” Emersyn said coming back with her electronics.

“This is the year you need to start. Your mother and I both did!”

“Do you know how much pressure I have on me being your daughter?”

“What?!”

“Both of you graduated top of your classes and then went to Harvard and Harvard Law on scholarships. The three of us are expected to do the same!”

“Don’t give me that! We have never once said any of you have to follow in our footsteps.”

“Your Dad’s right. All we’ve ever asked is that you apply yourselves and do the best you can.”

“Enough excuses. We will find a school for you.”

“Why can’t I just go to…”

“You’re not going to school with Sam. In fact, maybe you two have been spending too much time together.”

“Dad!”

“And don’t even think about sneaking out because I’m changing the alarm code and you won’t have it until I’m ready. I assure you, it’s going to be a long time. Now go to your room until dinner.”

“But…”

“I said now.”


	125. Chapter 125

“So how are things going at your house?”

“Why do you think I’ve been logging so much overtime, Fin?”

“That bad still?”

“Between the two of them not speaking and Emersyn not trying to like her school, it’s a mess.”

“It’ll get better. Teenagers do this.”

“And Jackson becomes one in just under two months.”

“Okay, so what time is the party for Carisi and Carmen Saturday?”

“2:00. You and Melinda going to make it?”

“Me and Melinda? What do you mean?”

“Come on, Fin. We all know.”

“I don’t know what you all think you know.”

“Come on, Fin.”

“Not a word, Izzy.”

“I’m not saying anything,” she said as she threw her hands up. “Ugh why is my husband calling me now? Hey.”

“You need to come home.”

“Raf I am in the middle of DD-5’s and…”

“And they can wait until tomorrow. I need you home.”

“Okay, give me 20 minutes.”

“Everything okay?”

“When His Honor calls me and tells me he ‘needs’ me home, I’m guessing not. Can you…”

“I got it. I’m waiting on Melinda to get finished anyways.”

“Thanks.”

 

Instead of calling a car, Izzy decided to walk home to prepare herself for whatever fresh hell she was going to walk into when she got home. 

“Okay, I’m here.”

“Go on, tell your mother.”

“Dad…”

“Emersyn don’t argue with me.”

“What happened?”

“It seems our daughter and her cousin worked up a little story, so Emersyn could have an alibi so she could see Sam after we specifically told her not to.”

“Emersyn.”

“He told Brittany he wanted to talk to me.”

“How did he get in touch with Brittany?”

“Facebook.”

“Okay so you two devised this plan and you got busted, I see.”

“Because Jackson told.”

“I didn’t tell. I didn’t realize it was a secret.”

“You knew they told me I couldn’t see him.”

“I don’t pay attention to your drama, Emersyn. I have my own life.”

“Oh yes, you’re the perfect child. We all know this.”

“Whatever just cause you were stupid enough to get caught.”

“Okay! Okay! Jackson go to your room, please.”

“Okay, Mami. I really didn’t mean to get her in trouble.”

“I know. Okay so what was so important that you disobeyed us?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You’re gonna have to or I’m adding another month to your punishment. That’ll bring you to now 6 ½ months.”

“Dad…”

“I need an answer within the next two minutes or I am seriously adding another month.”

The three of them stood in silence.

“You have 60 seconds.”

“Can I just tell Mom?”

“Fine. But she will tell me and I will decide if the excuse is good enough,” he said as he walked out of the den.

“Okay. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Sam wanted to talk to me because he said…he said…because I can’t do anything for the next 5 ½ months, he doesn’t think we should be together,” she said as tears fell from her green eyes.

“And what did you say?”

“I told him then maybe we shouldn’t be. If he really loved me, he’d wait, right?”

“Yeah, he would, actually.”

“I know I messed up but don’t let Dad…”

“I’ll talk to him.”

 

“Okay, I won’t add another month,” Rafael said as they laid in bed, “But you can’t blame me…”

“Okay, I know the past few weeks have been nothing short of hell around here.”

“I didn’t want her in public school but we didn’t have a choice. She’s got to start being more responsible.”

“Where are you going?”

“I can’t get comfortable.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t wait up for me. I’m gonna go in my office and read or something.”

She waited about an hour and went to his office. He was kicked back in his chair, feet on his desk, with a book in his lap. “I thought I told you to go to sleep,” he smiled.

“You know better than that. What are you reading?”

“Uh, I’m not really reading.”

“Ah, Emersyn’s pictures.”

“I still remember the day we found out you were pregnant. We had tried for almost a year and were about to give up.”

“I remember.”

“I couldn’t go anywhere without her following me, up until she was 9 or 10. One day, she woke up and hated me. I’m her least favorite person.”

“It’s not you, Rafa. She’s a teenager.”

“Were you like that?”

“I wasn’t easy to get along with.”

“You know I’m really scared she’s gonna spiral again.”

“We’re gonna have to watch her. Come on, you got a busy day tomorrow. Get in bed.”

 

“Wow, Sarge, Lieu everything looks nice.”

“Thanks, Carisi.”

“So, these cans have blue or pink string in them?”

“Don’t touch either of them, Carisi.”

“Come on, Sarge, this stuff is messier than the paint that…”

“Quit your whining, counselor. Your wife is okay with it. Do me a favor and go check on Barba and Cassidy and make sure they have the den ready.”

“They were in the kitchen when we came in,” Amanda spoke up as she handed Aiden to Izzy.

“Ugh, come on Aiden. Let’s go light a fire under Uncle Brian and Uncle Rafa.”

“Psst! Guys! We’re busted.”

“Some look out, Amaro,” Cassidy laughed with his mouth full.

“Get out of the food.”

“Everything’s done, mi amor.”

“Great but get out of the food.”

“You heard her.”

“Out, all of you. What?” She asked as she noticed a strange smile on her husband’s face.

“Been a while since you’ve had a baby on your hip.”

“Stop. We are done.”

“We could adopt one.”

“Raf.”

“Okay, okay. We’re done,” he agreed as he took Aiden from his wife. “Still. We could at least babysit more. Him or Arianna.”

“I suppose we could. We don’t do anything anyways. I mean the last time we went to the movies was to see ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’.”

“That was almost a year ago. Are you sure?”

“I’m sure, babe.”

“Jeez. We need to change that. We should do something tomorrow. Jack is going to Mike and Alice’s after the party.”

“Do you trust Emersyn to watch Hudson?”

“She wants to prove she’s responsible. There’s a start.”

“Okay,” she smiled as she popped a piece of pineapple in his mouth. 

“Sabe tan dulce como tú, cariño (tastes just as sweet as you).”

“Rafa, no delante del bebé (Not in front of the baby).”

“He doesn’t understand Spanish yet.”

“What are you two doing in here?”

“Hey, Tony, hey, Erin.”

Rafael handed Aiden back to Izzy so he could scoop up Arianna.

“What’s up with him?” Erin whispered.

“His biological clock must ticking again.”

“I heard that. Come on, Tony. We’ll get a drink.”

“Okay so everyone is paired up, when are Amanda and Nick going to give it up?”

“No clue. Maybe we should fix them up on bad blind dates.”

“Will you two come on? Carisi going nuts out here. Carmen is ready to beat him.”

“Coming, Nick.”

“Just what you need is a daughter and then you can see why I had a heart attack at 43, Carisi.”

“Funny, Barba.”

“Oh, it’s going to be real fun when she’s a teenager. Trust me.”

“Ha ha, Dad,” Emersyn said as she walked in to join the party.

“I’m only kidding, princesa,” he said as he put his arm around her. It had been a long time since she actually hugged her father but he didn’t stop her. 

“She’s almost as tall as you, Barba.”

“Knock it off, Carisi. And she’s not even as tall as her mother.”

“I’m short like both my parents. My Papa said dynamite comes in small packages, so ha, Uncle Sonny.”

“Oohhh! Looks like you got told,” Mike laughed.

“Well, knowing your father’s mouth in the courtroom and your mother’s…”

“Her mother’s what, Liv?”

“I was going to say fearlessness, Izz. She just comes by it honestly.”


	126. Chapter 126

“Okay here is your phone, Emersyn. Don’t forget that it is linked to mine so I will get every text message you make, any apps you download…”

“I know, Dad. I’m not going to call or text anyone.”

“We should only be gone maybe 3 hours, if that.”

“I can handle Hudson, Dad.”

“If you need anything, call us.”

“I will, you guys have fun.”

“Come on, Rafa. The movie starts at 11.”

“Okay, I’m coming. Set the alarm once we’re out the door.”

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Well, that was a take on the Manson family murders I never thought I’d see,” Rafael said after they saw Tarantino’s “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”.

“Well, it was everything I expected from Tarantino.”

“You feel like getting some lunch? We can take the kids something back. Jackson will be home by the time we get there.”

“Sure, babe.”

“So, are we really done having kids?”

“Rafa…”

“I’m just saying, Liv was able to adopt. There’s no reason we couldn’t.”

“You are about to be 45 next month and you want to start over?”

“No. There’s other kids that need good home, not just babies.”

“I know. We just have so much with Emersyn and we’d need a bigger place.”

“We can afford it.”

“Is this just because all these babies are around us?”

“No. Hang on. Speaking of,” he said as he grabbed his phone out of his pocket to see their daughter was calling them. “Emersyn what’s up? What happened? Where? Okay. No. You did fine. We’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Raf what’s going on?”

“Hudson fell and she called an Uber to take him to the ER at Mercy.”

They got there within 10 minutes and met them in the waiting room since they wouldn’t take him in until there was an adult present. “Call your Uncle Mike and tell him where we are,” Rafael told her as they went back with Hudson.

 

After X-rays were taken, they found out their almost 4 year old son had broken his arm. His cast was set and they were able to take him home.

“So, he just fell?”

“Yeah, Dad. He tripped over something.”

They had been home a few hours, had dinner when Hudson started complaining that his head was hurting and he started getting sick.

“Rafa, there is something going on,” she said as she searched their sons face.

“Mami, I’m tired.”

“Let’s take him back to Mercy. It could just be a bad reaction to the pain meds.”

“They didn’t give him much.”

“I’ll get the other kids.”

They got him back to the ER and he was examined from head to toe. The doctor called for a head CT after a bump was found under his hair. “Emersyn, we need to know exactly what happened.”

“Dad I told you…”

“There are inconsistencies between your story and his injuries. Tell us the truth.”

“Okay, I was in the living room when I heard him crying. I found him on the floor of your bedroom. He had been jumping on your bed and he musta bounced off.”

“Why was he in our room?” Rafael waited on an answer. “Well?”

“I guess I wasn’t watching him as close as I should’ve been.”

“Why not?”

She just kind of shrugged. “You need to have a better answer than that.”

“Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“Take Emersyn and Jackson home.”

“But…”

“I’ll be there when they finish with Hudson.”

“You want me to…”

“No. Wait till I get home.”

“Okay. Let’s go, guys.”

Izzy waited until Hudson was given the all clear after he had be diagnosed with a mild concussion from his fall off their bed. She got him home and in bed, per the doctors instructions. He couldn’t have anything stronger than Tylenol or Motrin for his arm until the concussion symptoms subsided.

 

“Get her in here now,” she told Rafael concerning their daughter. He went and told Emersyn to meet them in the den. She walked in slowly. “Sit down,” her mother told her, to which she did. “Now explain to me what your little brother was doing in our bedroom, jumping on our bed, to which he bounced off and hit the floor, causing not just a broken arm but a concussion.”

“I don’t know.”

“None of this would’ve happened if you had been watching him so what were you doing?!”

“I was on the phone.”

“On the phone? With who?”

“Brittany.”

“If you’re gonna lie to me, do a better job.”

“I was talking to Sam.”

“Why? After we told you you couldn’t and you said he broke up with you.” 

“I was bored. I just wanted to talk to him for a little bit.”

“Uh-huh. Give me your phone.”

“Mom.”

“Now, Emersyn.”

She handed her mother the iPhone XS and watched as it shattered against the wall in the den. “I am so done. You’re not going to be home alone any time soon so you won’t need a phone.”

“Dad, can’t you do…”

“I’m not doing anything. You have done nothing for the last two months but prove how irresponsible you are.”

“I got him to the emergency room…”

“But you didn’t tell us the truth. Do you not understand that? You didn’t tell us what happened, told your brother to lie, and he could’ve died. Do you not get that?”

“I’m sorry, Mom.”

“It’s a little late for that. You need to think. Do you know if something like that would’ve happened to me when your Uncle Tony was supposed to be watching me, your Papa would’ve killed him? If I would’ve dared spoken to my parents the way you speak to us, I would’ve been dead. Your grandfather would’ve kicked my ass had I disobeyed him the way you have us.”

“You know you have asked why do we still have a nanny because you and Jackson could handle Hudson until one of us gets home? You proved why today. You can’t be trusted. You’re lucky we don’t send you to your grandparents every day after school and that’s what is next if you don’t get it together. You think we’re bad? You think either of your grandmother’s would deal with your attitude? Wrong!”

“You know what? I’m done, like I said. Don’t think you’re going anywhere besides school for the entire year.”

“What?”

“Yep, forget February. We’ll see how you are in May, then we’ll decide if you’ve fulfilled your punishment. Go to bed.”

She got up from the table and went to her room.

“Mi amor, come here,” Rafael said as he took his wife in his arms.

“Have we been wrong for 14 years?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean every decision we have made as parents. Have we completely fucked up our kids?”

“I asked myself that earlier. I don’t know. I mean most parents just try to do what’s best. I always thought we have. I don’t know, maybe we need to try something different with Emersyn.”

“Like what?”

“There’s got to be some books out there, right?”

“Funny,” she scoffed.

“Sorry. It got a little intense in here.”

“I know. I don’t know where that came from.”

“Well, you’ve always done your best to stay calm and let me handle things. Maybe something in your mind decided it was time for you show that temper you use on perps.”

“Maybe.”

“Come on. Let’s go check on the boys and get ready for bed. We’ve had a long day.”


	127. Chapter 127

“Hey,” Emersyn said as she found her dad in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

“Hey, princesa. You hungry?”

“A little,” she shrugged, “Where’s Mom?”

“She got called out around 4 this morning.”

“Oh. She hates me, doesn’t she?”

“No, Emmie, she doesn’t hate you. Neither of us do. We hate the way you’ve been acting. It’s like we don’t know who this person is that’s occupying your bedroom. You’re smoking pot, deliberately disobeying us, lying to us. That’s not our daughter.”

“I’m sorry about what happened to Hudson. I really am.”

“I believe you but it’s not that easy. He could’ve been seriously injured and I’m not talking about his arm. What if your mom and I just thought that he was having a reaction to the pain medicine? What if it had turned out that it wasn’t just a mild concussion? You have to think about things like that. There are consequences to every action or non-action. You not paying attention to your brother proved the latter.”

“I know. What can I do…”

“Uh-huh. Don’t ask me that. You know what you have to do. I can’t do it for you and neither can your mom. Now eat your breakfast and get ready for school.”

“Okay.”

 

Izzy walked to Rafael’s chambers around 2:00. Carmen had started her maternity leave already so he had a new assistant that Izzy hadn’t met. When she walked up, met by a tall dark headed guy before she could get to the door. “Can I help you?”

“Uh, yeah, I’m going to see Mr. Barba?”

“And who are you? Is he expecting you? Do you have an appointment? What is this regarding?”

“Whoa. Slow down, junior. Who the hell are you?”

He rattled off his name, to which Izzy didn’t pay much attention to. “Okay, well I am his wife.”

“I’ll have to check with him. Mr. Barba? Your wife is out here? Yes. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I apologize, sir. I’ll send her right in.”

Izzy didn’t even wait for “permission” before she went to the door and walked in. “What the hell was that about?” She laughed.

“Ugh don’t get me started. How’s your day been?”

“I’ve been at ACS most of it.”

“How many kids did you guys get out of there?”

“17. Ages 1-14.”

“Jeez.”

“There was this one little girl, 18 months, blond hair, blue eyes. So sweet. My heart just broke for her. She cried when I left her at ACS.”

“Hey, what’s wrong? Why the tears?”

“I’ve seen it all over the years but there was just something about her. It ripped me apart when I left her. Maybe I reminded her of her mother?”

“Maybe. If you want, we can go by and check on her later.”

“Okay. How did things go this morning?”

“Well, she thinks we hate her. I told her we didn’t just the way she’s been acting. She didn’t eat a lot at breakfast.”

“You think she’s…”

“I hope not. She’s only been released from that program for 6 months. I’d hate for her to have to start all over. She barely made it out alive the last time.”

“I know. I think that’s why we’ve let so much slide with her.”

“We can’t keep using that as an excuse though, mi amor.”

“I know.”

“And we know relapse is a possibility, for the rest of her life. Just like being a drug addict.”

“You’re right. I gotta go.”

“I thought we were having a late lunch?”

“Liv needs me,” she said looking at her phone.

“Okay. I’ll come by when I get done here. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

 

Izzy sat at ACS playing with the little blond girl, who she had went and bought some clothes and other things for.

“Liv said this is where you’d be,” Rafael said as he sat beside his wife. “Is this her?”

“Yeah. We’ve had no hits on DNA, no missing child reports matching her description. We have no idea how long she had been out there.”

“She’s beautiful. Oh wow,” he said as she walked over to him and sat in his lap.

“She likes you, too.”

“Any signs of…”

“No. She’s very healthy so she was taken care of at least.”

The little girl was playing with his tie so he just took it off and let her have it. 

“Rafa that’s one of your favorites.”

“If it makes her happy,” he shrugged. “Besides, for what I paid for it, could buy her milk and diapers for a month probably.”

“Sergeant?”

“I know, Christine.”

“You can come back tomorrow. I’ll keep you updated if anything comes a long.”

“I’ll do the same if we get any hits.”

“Do you want your tie, your honor?”

“No, Christine, she can keep it,” he said as he handed the girl to the ACS worker. She waved happily at them as Christine took her to be fed. 

 

“Have they placed any of those kids?”

“Not yet, Rollins. I’ve been checking in." 

"We’ve only had hits on some of the older kids?”

“Yep. That’s it. Three of them. Runaways.”

“But the little ones, I mean, it doesn’t make sense.”

“When does anything about this job make sense?”

“You’re right about that.”

“You know what else doesn’t make sense?”

“What’s that, Sarge?”

“You and Nick.”

“Not this again,” Amanda laughed as she rolled her eyes.

“You told me how long ago that you loved him?”

“And I told you it’s the same kind of love I have for you or, or Fin.”

“What about me?”

“Nothing, Fin. Amanda won’t admit how she feels about Nick.”

“Rollins come on. It’s been long enough.”

“You, too, Fin?”

“Yep. I’ve been recruited to the dark side. We’re not gonna stop until you admit how you feel.”

“I’m going to get a sandwich,” she laughed as she grabbed her jacket and keys. “You coming, Izz?”

“Uh, not today, Rollins. I got to make a phone call.”

 

“Mom?”

“Hey, Emersyn.”

“Is everything okay? Why did you have me leave school and meet you at ACS?”

“Just come on. I want you to meet someone.”

“Okay?”

“Sergeant. Nice to see you again.”

“Is she ready?”

“Yep. She’s in the playroom. We have another room set up to give you guys some privacy.”

Another worker brought the little blond girl in and she immediately smiled when she saw Izzy.

“What’s her name?”

“We don’t know, Emersyn There’s a couple of others that we found that we don’t know their names, or anything about them.”

“How can parents do that?”

“I don’t know. I’ve wondered that myself on this job over the years. Wow, she seems to like you.”

“Is that Dad’s tie?”

“Yep. She hasn’t let go of it since he gave it to her from what they tell me.”

 

They stayed for about an hour and a half. “What’s going to happen to her?”

“With any luck, they’ll find her a good home.”

“They treat them like animals.”

“Emersyn there are so many kids in the system.”

“But it’s not fair. Why can’t everybody have parents like you and Dad? I mean, yeah you guys can be strict but we all know we’re loved and we’re taken care of.”

“What did you just say?” Izzy asked with a smirk.

“Yeah, you heard me,” Emersyn laughed. “I’ve been making you guys miserable lately. I know you guys love me though.”

“Most days.”

“Gee, thanks, Mom. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Can you get me an appointment with Dr. Greenfield?”

“Of course. Are you having…”

“I think I just need to touch base. I depended on the group therapy and stuff at the facility I was at, I’ve kind of been lost since I ‘graduated’.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I just don’t want you guys to feel like I’m using this all as an excuse.”

“We’d never think that but continuing with therapy might be best. Come on, let’s go watch your dad in court.”


	128. Chapter 128

“Liv we finally got a hit on a few of the younger kids at ACS.”

“Really, Izz?”

“Yeah,” she said as she started running down the information they had received on the kids. “And then the 18-month-old girl, she matched a 19-year-old out of Chicago.”

“A pross?”

“Not that we know, Rollins. Her name was Paige Walters. She was a student at Loyola. She was found in the Chicago River, a rudimentary c-section had been done, she died from the shock, and was dumped, roughly 18 months ago. No leads, her parents didn’t even know she was pregnant. I’ve got Dawson and Halstead talking to friends from high school and college.”

“Okay. Izzy, Fin catch the next flight to Chicago and see what else can be found out. Four of these kids came from the Chicago area, let’s see if these traffickers originated there or what could lead back here.”

“Hey, Fin, I’m gonna stop by ACS…”

“Say no more, shorty. Meet you at JFK in two hours.”

She walked in to find her husband with the little girl. “What are you doing here?”

“I brought her another tie so I could drop this one off at the dry-cleaners,” he laughed.

“Aren’t you sweet?”

“So, you’re off to Chicago?”

“Yeah. Four of these kids came from there, she came from there.”

“I still can’t believe how she came into this world.”

“Mama?”

“Oh no, baby. I’m not your Mama.”

“Mama,” the girl said again.”

“You could be, you know?”

“Raf…”

“We could take her in until they can find somewhere, at least.”

“We don’t have a crib anymore, we don’t have an extra room.”

“It’s something to think about.”

“I gotta go pack my suitcase.”

“I need to get back to the office myself.”

“I’ll see you in a few days, baby girl.”

“Bye, Mama. Bye, Dada,” she said as she waved to them.

 

“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Atwater joked as Izzy and Fin walked into the “cage” at the 21st District.

“Now, why we got to keep coming here?”

“You guys can’t catch these bad guys on your own? What’s up, Izzy?”

“Ah, Ruzek, the loudmouth teenager. You never change. Any news from Halstead or Dawson?”

“The few leads they’ve got have been dead ends so far,” a blond detective told her.

“And you are?”

“Upton. Hailey Upton. Sorry, Sergeant Rossetti.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I’ve heard about you.” 

“And it’s Sergeant Barba,” Halstead laughed as he and Dawson walked up.

“Shut up, Jay.”

“Oh, just give me a hug. You know you want to.”

“Sorry to hear about your dad, Jay.”

“Thanks. How’s, uh, your sister in law?”

“She’s good, Jay. Really good.” 

“I’m glad.”

“Okay, we got a familial match on baby girl Doe,” Dawson said as he hung up his phone. “More than likely a brother. Hopefully we can find the father of that baby.”

“Alright, Barba, Dawson go see what you guys can find out,” Hank said as he came out of his office.

“So, we good?” Dawson asked as they drove to the Hegewisch neighborhood of Chicago.

“We’re good, Dawson. I’m not fist bumping you.”

“Come on, Izz.” 

“Fine. Do me one favor. Do not give me one of those open fingered explosion hands that people do. I hate that. If that’s your thing, I’d rather high-five.”

Of course, Dawson didn’t listen and did exactly what Izzy asked him not to.

“Never again,” she said as she shook her head.

“So, I got something to tell you.”

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yes. No, I’m moving back to New York.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Ava is going to college at Penn State, Diego has been staying with me and Mom hasn’t been doing so good and with Gabby being in Puerto Rico somebody needs to take care of her.”

“So, when is all this taking place?”

“This is my last case with CPD.”

“Wow. Antonio Dawson back in Brooklyn, huh? What are you going to do?”

“I’ve been in talks with Chief Harris. You know him?”

“Steven Harris? Yeah. I know him rather well. He’s my Rabbi.”

“That’s why he suggested SVU when I told him I grew up with you.”

“Seriously? SVU?”

“I’m done with Intelligence; CPD, NYPD, I’m done with it.”

“Well, you’ll make it interesting. Hands off Rollins, though.”

“What? Do you have me confused with Ruzek? He hit on both of you, not me.”

“Tonio really?”

“Izz come on. You know I wouldn’t do something like that in the right state of mind. I’m looking at you right now and wondering what the hell was wrong with me that night in August of 95.”

“Shut up, idiota. ¿Se parece a nuestro tipo (Does that look like our guy)?”

“Sí, tiene que ser él. ¿Cómo quieres hacer esto (Yeah, that's gotta be him. How do you want to do this)?”

“Esta es tu ciudad. Te seguiré (This is your city. I’ll follow you).”

“No por mucho tiempo. Vamos (Not for very much longer. Come on).”

 

“Okay so Patrick Jordan has 3 brothers. He doesn’t speak to them much because once he got pinched for his 2nd DWI, they basically washed their hands of him.”

“Nice family,” Fin scoffed after Dawson told them what he and Izzy had found out. “So now what?”

“We go to the other three.”

“Whoa, easy there, Ruzek. Don’t hurt yourself,” Izzy said. “We don’t have to go to all 3. The youngest one, Liam, went to Loyola with Paige.”

“But the people we’ve talked to said they never saw her with any guy…”

“And that means what exactly, Burgess, other than we weren’t talking to the right people.”

“Dawson’s right. We need to talk to his friends, roommates, maybe the other two brothers just for information.”

“Okay, you all heard Dawson and Barba. Go where they tell you.”

“Where you going, Sarge?”

“I’m going to see my grandson. I’m leaving you in good hands, Ruzek,” Voight laughed as he grabbed his jacket and keys.

Dawson handed out assignments while him, Izzy, and Halstead stayed in the office, going through on paperwork the other kids.

“So, did Dawson tell you?”

“Yes, he did, Halstead.”

“Fucker is going back to New York and leaving me here. It’s not going to be the same.”

“Halstead I’m gonna tell you something my former captain told all of us when he retired: nothing changes except what has to. Excuse me,” she said as she picked up her ringing phone. “Hey.”

“How’s Chicago, mi amor?”

“Same as it was the last time I was out here. How are the kids?”

“Fine. Hudson was complaining that his arm was bothering him so I gave him some pain medicine and he seems fine now.”

“How did Emersyn’s appointment go?”

“Fine she said. She was in there a little over an hour.”

“Did you go to ACS today?”

“Um…no.”

“Why not?”

“Did that not kill you yesterday? I mean we’ve been to see her almost every day for the last two weeks and for us to be ripped out of her life if they find a place for her? She’s been through enough.”

“We can’t just stop seeing her. That’s even worse.”

“I’ll go by tomorrow.”

“Please.”

“I will. I promise.”

“Thank you. Dammit, Halstead will you grow up!” She said after Jay hit her in the head with a rolled up ball of paper.

“Sounds like you’re having fun.”

“Yeah, I’m stuck with Beavis and Butthead.”

“Dawson and Halstead?”

“What gave it away?”

“Hey, Izz. Atwater and Fin got something for us.”

“Okay, Dawson. I’m coming. Hey, I gotta…”

“Yeah, I know. Go do your job. Hope you’re not too much longer.”

“Me too. Please go…”

“I will. I’m not due in court until 10 tomorrow. I’ll stop by before that. I promise. I need to switch out ties anyways,” he laughed. 

“Okay, well, Ren and Stimpy are waiting on me.”

“Okay, we love you.”

“Love you guys, too.”

 

“Liam fell apart like a cheap suit.”

“So, he paid these people to attack Paige?”

“Yep. Didn’t know she was as far along as she was apparently.”

“And these people ripped that baby out of her?”

“Yeah. Lindsay, Rollins, and Mike Dodds have located one of the men. They’re bringing him in for questioning now from what Rollins told Fin.”

“What about the connection with the other kids that came from here?”

“Maybe we’ll know more when Rollins and Dodds get done.”

“Hey, Dawson?” Izzy asked, pulling him away from everyone else.

“What’s up, Izz?”

“You still remember where Paige’s parents live?”

“Yeah. You want to take a drive?”

“Yeah.” 

 

“This is her?”

“Yeah, that’s your granddaughter,” Izzy told Paige’s parents as she showed them a picture on her phone. “She’s at ACS in Manhattan right now.”

“Why are you showing us this?”

“Legally, we have to find notify next of kin in case you’d want to take her in.”

“We just…we can’t,” Mrs. Walters said.

“She’ll go into the…”

“My wife is right, detectives. It would just be too hard for us. We already lost our daughter.”

“I understand. A lawyer will be in touch with you.”

“We’re sorry. We…”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Izzy told them with a small smile. “Thank you for your time. Come on, Antonio.”

“Detective?”

“Yes?”

“When you get back to New York, will you check on her?”

“Of course.”

 

“You get off the plane from Chicago and you come straight to the office?”

“Doesn’t Homicide need you back, Mike?”

“They’re okay,” he laughed. 

“Besides my kids are in school and my husband is in court.”

“And you can’t use some quiet time? Look we got all the guys involved. The only kid that hasn’t been or isn’t being reunited with their family is…”

“Yeah, I know. You know what, Mike. Tell Liv I went home. I’m gonna take a nap or something.”

Of course, she wasn’t going straight home.

“Sergeant?” 

“Oh, hey, Chantal. I was looking for…”

“Oh, didn’t anyone call you?”

“No. Did you find a home for her?”

“Yes. Seems to be a good one, too. Loving parents and siblings.”

“Good. I’m glad,” she said as she choked back tears. “Well, I’ve been in Chicago almost a week so I’m gonna go home.”

“Thank you for your help with getting these children reunited with their parents.”

“All part of my job.” At least Chantal found the baby a good home. She was very thorough and strict when it came to placing kids.

 

The elevator to their floor seemed to take forever. She wiped the tears off her face before she walked into their apartment. She could hear voices coming from their living room. She walked in to find Rafael, Trevor Langan, and the other ACS worker she knew, Christine, along with that little blond-haired, blue-eyed girl sitting in Rafael’s lap.“What’s going on?”

“I thought your flight was getting in at 10?”

“I stopped at the office.”

“Mama!!” The little girl said as she reached for Izzy.

“You didn’t answer my question. I stopped by ACS and Chantal said they found her a home.”

“And they did. Right here. Jackson, Mike, and I moved Hudson’s stuff into Jackson’s room so she can have her own until we find a bigger place.”

“Are you serious? What about the kids?”

“I brought her by to meet and spend time with your kids two days ago. They seemed to be okay with the idea,” Christine said with a smile. “Mr. Langan is going to help with everything on the legal side so you two don’t have to worry about that.”

Trevor explained to them what the adoption process would be like. They wouldn’t have to wait a year like Liv did with adopting Noah, Trevor explained why but it didn’t seem like either of them really paid too much attention to much of what was said. “Now, we need a name.”

“Wow. We haven’t named a child in how long,” Rafael laughed. 

“You can take your time. There’s no rush.”

“She’s been without a name her whole life. That’s been long enough. What do you think, Rafael?”

“I think you should pick this time.”

She thought about the last song she heard on her phone before getting off the plane.

“How about Rhiannon?”

“I like that,” he smiled. 

“Rhiannon Luciana.”

“Okay, let’s finish up this paperwork,” Trevor chuckled.


	129. Chapter 129

“I’m home!” 

“Hey, mi amor.”

“Mama!”

“Hey, babe. Hey, Rhiannon. Did you have a good day with Papi?”

She quickly nodded her head. 

“We colored, we watched a little ‘Paw Patrol’, ate lunch, took a nap, and then she bugged her brothers and sister when they got home from school for a little while when our realtor called.”

“And? And?!”

“They accepted our offer.”

“Really?”

“Yep. We are officially in escrow. Well, once you sign the paperwork and I email it back.”

“And this is the last place we’re buying.”

“It better be,” he laughed. “So, I heard Dawson had his interview with Liv today.”

“Yep. He starts Monday.”

“Okay. He better…”

“Rafa.”

“Oh, check out what I found today.”

“Rhiannon, what is your Papi trying to spoil you with now,” Izzy laughed as they followed Rafael into the living room. “She’s not big enough for the Paw Patrol My Size Look Out Tower.”

“Well when she is big enough.”

“Raf, calm down,” Izzy laughed. 

“I’m sorry. I’m going a little nuts, aren’t I?”

“A tiny bit but it’s okay. You’ve been that way with every kid.”

“I can’t help it,” he shrugged. “Oh! I almost forgot, we have someone already interested in this place.”

“Really? Who?”

“Nick.”

“Really? What is going to do with 5 bedrooms?”

“Gil, Zara, Jesse, Aiden, and him.”

“Jesse?”

“Well for when she wants to stay.”

“You know something.”

“No, I do not.”

“You can’t lie to me, Rafael Barba.”

“I really don’t.”

“Rhiannon is Papi lying to Mama?”

“Yes.”

“She’s been in our house for two weeks and she already knows when you’re lying.”

“Way to sell me out, mija,” he laughed as he took her from his wife. “You can’t say a word. Not to Erin, Fin, Liv, Dawson, and especially Amanda. I mean it. You have to keep this a secret until we move into our new place.”

“Rafael! You’re asking me to keep a secret from…”

“I won’t tell you if you can’t keep this a secret.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“Yes, you do and it’s good, too. I got an idea,” he said as he walked toward their bedroom.

“What are you doing with that? That’s my favorite Prada dress.”

“I know it is. I bought it for you. You’re going to swear on this that you won’t tell what I’m about to tell you.”

“Couldn’t you just find a Bible?”

“Do you know where one is? And would that even work with you? Think about it. You spend more time in Prada than you did in church.”

“Fine,” she said as she rolled her eyes.

 

“Are you guys going to be unpacked in time for Thanksgiving?”

“Sonny!” Carmen scolded while holding their newborn daughter Sophia as they all stood around the Barba’s new condo.

“I was just asking, Carmen. We always have Thanksgiving here, well at the other place.”

“So? Let them get moved in and enjoy their new place first.”

“I guess she told him,” Erin whispered.

“I’d say so,” Izzy laughed.

“My father in law sent over a bottle Macallan 21-year if you guys are interested,” Barba offered so they could basically get away from the women.

“Mom, you want me to take Rhiannon?”

“Please, Emersyn. Your Dad and your uncles have all disappeared.”

“Of course, they did,” she laughed as she took her little sister to her room.

“I’d say she’s done a 180 lately.”

“She really has, Melinda. I don’t know if it was the visit to ACS and just being around Rhiannon or going back to therapy, maybe a combination of it all but she’s been fun to be around again.”

“I remember when my daughter was that age. I thought for sure one of us wasn’t going to make it out alive.”

“I was afraid Barba was going to have another heart attack.”

“How can you still call your husband by his last name, when it’s your last name?”

“Habit, Liv,” she shrugged.

 

“Man, Carmen has been so moody lately,” Sonny complained as he, Nick, Barba, Fin, Mike, Brian, and Tony sat in Raf’s new office. 

“Carisi have you learned nothing in the year you’ve been married?”

“What do you mean, Barba?”

“If your woman is having a bad day, SURPRISE! So are you. While her body is getting back to normal, you’re going to have a lot of bad days.”

“I know but I can’t do or say anything right.”

“Get used to it,” Nick laughed. 

“The way her moods have been, I don’t know what I might say that could set her off.”

“Carisi there was one time, after Jackson was born, I had said something to Izzy, I don’t even remember what now but she let it fester overnight. The next morning, she was being real, well, creepy, is the best way to describe it. She handed me a cup of coffee and winked. I’ve never been more scared of a drink in all my life.” 

“You need to start kissing major ass. Remember you did that to her.”

“Amaro’s right,” Fin laughed. “You helped make that baby. She’s not going to let you forget it for a very long time.”

“I still hear about Hudson…4 fucking years later. I hear about Emersyn, too, every so often.”

“She doesn’t bust your balls about Jackson?”

“No, she had a c-section with him, Cassidy. I almost passed out that time, actually.”

“Why?”

“Because I was the idiot that peaked over the curtain, Mike.”

“You didn’t.”

“Yes, I did. Looked over and saw my son coming out…you know what? I don’t want to relive it.”

“When do you guys get to start officially adopting Rhiannon?”

“After the first of the year, Nick. Langan is getting everything in order. The grandparents relinquished any and all rights to her.”

“Does she use your last name right now?”

“Yeah. She was never named and it will be official soon enough.”

 

“Okay so everything is set up?”

“Nick, will you stop worrying? The guys have everything ready.”

“And she has no idea?”

“My husband made me swear on my favorite Prada dress.”

“Well, at least you took the oath of fabric,” Nick laughed. 

“Look, you’re just asking for you guys to move in together and really give it a try. You’re not asking her to marry you. Are you?”

Nick just kind of smiled. 

“And Rafael didn’t tell me?!”

“He knew you couldn’t keep that part secret. He wasn’t stupid.”

“Fair enough. Okay. Get over there. She’ll be there in 30 minutes.”

“Okay, I’m leaving. Aiden will be…”

“He’ll be fine. Go! Barba is waiting with the key.”

“Wish me luck!”

“I don’t think you’ll need it but good luck.”


	130. Chapter 130

“Papi!”

“Rhian, mija, go back to sleep,” Rafael mumbled.

“Papi up!!”

“Rhiannon what are you doing out of your crib?”

“Huh? What?” Izzy asked as she woke up.

“Papi up!”

“I’ll take her, mi amor. Go back to sleep,” he groaned as he got out of bed. “Come on, Rhian. Back to bed.”

“No, Papi. Play.”

“Mija, it’s 2 in the morning. You were asleep.”

“Play, Papi.”

“Ugh, 5 minutes, mija.”

“Yay!!!” She said as she clapped her hands.

Rafael tried to stay awake to play with Peppa and George but he couldn’t do it. “Okay, mija. Back to bed,” he said as he picked her up and put her back in crib. “Now stay here and go back to sleep.”

“No,” she said as she shook her head.

“I can’t believe you don’t share blood with Hudson,” he joked. “Go to sleep.”

“Ning, Papi.”

“One song, princesa. Okay?”

She nodded as he picked her back up and sat in the rocking chair and started singing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” which instantly put her to sleep so he laid her back down and covered her up.

“Emersyn what are you doing awake?”

“I needed some water and I heard you singing. You used to sing that song to me.”

“I used to sing that song to all of you. It was better than any nursery rhyme when it came to soothing you guys.”

“I think it was your voice, Dad. She okay?”

“Yeah. Wanted to play,” he said as he rolled his eyes.

“That’s funny. Okay I’m going back to bed,” she laughed. “Good night.”

“Night, mija.”

He crawled back in bed and cuddled back up to his wife. 

“She back asleep?”

“Yeah. It didn’t take long once I started singing.”

“Your voice is very soothing.”

“You know what else I have that is soothing?”

“Rafa!”

“Come on. It’s been a month.”

“I gave you head in your office two days ago,” Izzy laughed.

“So?”

“You got off, didn’t you?”

“Again, so?”

“Ugh, fine. Come on. Climb aboard.”

“Well, that’s romantic,” he snickered as he started kissing her neck while he lightly stroked her thigh.

“What’s romantic about screwing at 2:30 in the morning,” she laughed. 

“Hmm, you got a point. Oh well,” he said as he put his hand between her legs and pushed them open. He started lightly rubbing her clit, causing her to shudder in excitement. It had been a little bit since they even woke up in the middle of the night to have sex. Having another toddler in the house was wearing them out but they wouldn’t give her back for anything. He made his way from her neck to her lips, his tongue forcing its way into her mouth, albeit softly. Her hands roamed through his hair and then down his back as she reached for his shirt to pull it over his head. He slipped one of his very longer fingers inside of her, causing a soft moan to leave her lips. He worked his finger in and out of his wife as he continued kissing her, harder and with more passion she could handle almost. He slid his hand under chiffon nightgown and pulled her panties down while she pushed his pants down with her feet. His cock was aching to come out of his boxers so she slid them down next. Precum dripped from him and she was soaking just from the little bit of sexual contact they were engaged in. After a little bit of teasing on his part, he finally filled her up with every inch he ha, causing both of them to moan. “Fuck, you feel so good,” he whispered with his head buried in her neck.

“Just like that, Rafa. God, that feels so good. Keep going.”

“Just like that, mi amor?”

“Yes, just like that, Rafael.”

“I’m close, cariño.”

“Me, too. Just…a…little…longer. Right there. Oh, god!”

“Fuck, Elizabeth,” he moaned as he felt her clinch around him, seemed tighter than usual, as he released into her. “Oh, goddamn,” he said as his hips stuttered as he finished before he laid on top of her while they both caught their breaths. He raised his head and kissed her as he pulled out and rolled over. “We can get 3 more hours of sleep,” he laughed as he got redressed.

“Ugh, don’t remind me. What did you with my panties?”

“They’re around here somewhere. Find them yourself.”

“Raf!”

“I had to find my clothes that you threw all over the place.” 

“Butthead.”

“Here, hermosa,” he laughed as he handed the lavender boy shorts to her. “Hey.”

“What is it, babe?”

“I love you.”

“I know. I love you, too.”

“One more week until our anniversary. 24 years, 17 of them married. You’ve put up with me all this time and I’ve put you through hell sometimes…”

“I’ve done the same to you.”

“Not really. I’m the jealous, insecure, neurotic one. You’re the calm and sane one.”

“Sometimes. There are times we switch.”

“I have been so thankful every day that you walked into the bookstore that day.”

“Raf…”

“No, now, just listen to me for a minute. When you kissed me, I knew you were going to be the last person I would ever kiss for the rest of my life. You have given me so much. You gave me a life I never expected to have, including four beautiful children.”

“You gave me the same things.”

He leaned down and kissed her. “Buenas noches, amor de mi vida.”

“Buenas noches, mi guapo marido.”

 

“Amanda!!!” Izzy said in sing-songy voice as she walked into the precinct.

“What, Sarge?”

“Here.”

“What is this?”

“Oh my god, the wedding notebook?” Erin laughed at the huge binder Izzy sat on Amanda’s desk.

“Yep.”

“You didn’t let me have this!”

“Wait, what is this?”

“This, Rollins, is a notebook filled with all kinds of wedding stuff. Flowers, locations, cakes, dresses, menus.”

“You’ve been married since 2002. How old is this?”

“She started putting it together after her and Barba had been together a year.”

“Shut up, Erin! A lot of this stuff is classic so it never goes out of style.”

“Izz I appreciate this but Nick and I want something simple.”

“What is it with everyone and these ‘simple’ weddings?” Izzy laughed as she went to pour a cup of coffee.

“You had a simple wedding.”

“No, Erin. I had a small wedding. It wasn’t simple.”

“We’re saving the big wedding for your and Barba’s 20th in 2022.”

“You’re not helping, Liv.”

“You know I just don’t think that I see myself…I could totally see myself in a dress like this,” Amanda said. 

“I have that exact dress in my closet.”

“No way.”

“That’s her exact dress. Vera Wang,” Erin added. 

“Rollins you have to wear it.”

“I think…okay I want the big wedding!!!”

“Izzy helped me plan mine.”

“I only came to the reception, Erin.”

“Yeah cause you were being an asshole. Seriously though, you’ve seen the pictures.”

“Sarge will you help me plan mine?”

“Ugh, oh, I guess, Rollins. You are my best friend after all.”

“Excuse me?”

“Along with you, Erin, jeez. You’re my sister in law now, so I think your title is moot.”

“Yeah, true.”

 

“Will Rhiannon be able to learn Spanish like us?” Emersyn asked as they all sat in the living room one night after dinner, before Christmas.

“If I can teach your mother Spanish, I can teach your sister.”

“Ha ha, Raf.”

“It took you a few years, cariño.”

“I caught on.”

“So, when will she officially be our little sister?”

“Next month, hopefully. We’ve went to our classes, passed our home studies. She’s happy and adjusted. Shouldn’t be much longer until she is officially a Barba. And she can’t wait, can you,” Rafael said as he lifted Rhiannon over his head causing her to giggle. 

“The way she was with all of us, I kind of think…nevermind.”

“No, what, Emersyn?”

“It’s almost like she was meant to join our family.”

“Maybe she was,” Izzy said with a smile.

“Well, she has blond hair like you and Mami. It’s not like anyone would know any different. A brown eyed person and a green eyed person can have a blue eyed child,” Jackson added. “It’s about a 12.5% chance but it is possible.”

“Good research, mijo. Mami and I didn’t care about that, though.”

“I know, Papi. I just thought it was interesting,” Jack laughed.

“And it is. Like I said, good research.”

“That kind of stuff interest me.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“DNA, genes, you know.”

“Oh. Liking science more, are you?”

“Yeah, a little more than I used to.”

“Mami used to love Chemistry.”

“I did not blow up the science lab. That was an ugly rumor, Rafael.”

“Okay, guys, it’s time for bed.”

“Dad come on.”

“I don’t want to hear what grade you’re in or how old you guys are, Emersyn. Hudson has been asleep for an hour.”

“What about Rhiannon?”

“We’re trying to keep her up a little later to see if she’ll sleep longer. As if that will work but no harm in trying,” Rafael laughed.

“Okay. Buenas noches, Papi. Buenas noches, Mami.”

“Dulces sueños, niños. Buenas noches.”

“Okay, Rhian, you need to go night-night. ¿Entiendes?”

“No, Papi. No night-night. Play!”

“Did she drink Red Bull all day or something? Rhiannon Luciana Barba, it’s time for night-night.”

“Play!”

“Ugh, mija. No es tiempo de jugar. Es hora de irse a dormir (It is not time to play. It is time to go to sleep).”

Rhiannon just kind of looked at him as he spoke to her in Spanish so he repeated himself in English.

“No, Papi. Ning!”

“Okay, I’ll sing but you go to sleep after. ¿Sí?”

“No, seep. Play!”

“Goddamn,” he muttered.

“Rafael Eduardo Barba!!”

“What?”

“Go sing to your daughter. I bet she’ll be out in no time.”


	131. Chapter 131

“Okay, guys, so today’s the day,” Langan said as they met him at Family Court. “She’s beautiful. She looks even happier after being with you guys than she did when you were just visiting her.”

“She’s been more than welcomed into our family,” Izzy said.

“Okay, well, Your Honor, Sergeant, shall we?”

“Let’s go,” Rafael said with a small smile. 

“Mr. & Sergeant Barba, are you willing to raise this child as your lawful child?” Judge Linden asked. 

“Yes,” Rafael answered. 

“This child will inherit from you. She will be treated no differently than a biological child. Do you agree?” 

“Yes,” Izzy said with a smile.

“Everything seems to be in order. Congratulations, Your Honor, Sergeant. And to you, Rhiannon Luciana Barba. I'm signing off on the adoption.” 

“Thank you, Judge,” Langan replied on behalf of his clients. 

“All the best to you and your family,” Judge Linden smiled.

“It’s official,” Rafael said with tears in his eyes as he took Rhiannon from Izzy. “You will never leave us, princesa.”

“Why don’t I take you guys to lunch?”

“Trevor you don’t have to.”

“Come on. I’m spending your money,” he joked.

 

After lunch, they checked Jackson, Emersyn, and Hudson out from their schools to spend the rest of the day as an official family of 6.

“So, she is officially a Barba?”

“Yes, Jack. She is officially a Barba. Something Mami and I need to talk to you guys about. Do not tell her she’s adopted. We will when she can understand but whatever you guys do…”

“No problem, Dad. We won’t say anything. I sometimes forget, actually.”

“Well, let’s all try to forget until she’s old enough.”

“Unlike Aunt Sarah?”

“Yes. Rhiannon will know the truth, maybe when she’s your age, Emmie. We still don’t know exactly how her birth affected her, if at all. We’ll just have to wait it out.”

“We won’t say anything, Papi. I promise.”

“Thanks, Jack.”

“Mom, Dad, can I talk to you guys about something?”

“Uh sure. Jack why don’t you take your little sister and brother to play?”

“Sure, Mami.”

“What’s up?”

“I know I’m grounded until at least May and I deserve that but is there any possible way I could go to the Valentine’s Semi-Formal Dance next month…”

“Emersyn…”

“Mom, you guys already know the boy that has asked me to go.”

“We do?”

“Yeah. It was Diego.”

“Diego? Diego Dawson?”

“Yeah. We’ve kind of been talking. I like him and he likes me. I told him I would have to talk to you guys first since I’m grounded…”

“Hudson is still in a cast…”

“I know, Dad. I told him not to get his hopes up. I was just asking.”

“Let Mami and I talk about it, okay?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. We’ll talk to Antonio, too, though.”

“That’s fine, Dad. Really.”

“Okay. We’ll let you know in a few days.”

“Thanks for at least considering it.”

“Sure, princesa. I’m not making any promises.”

“I know.”

 

“I can’t believe Dad said yes,” Emersyn said as she and Izzy went shopping for a dress.

“Well, thank Uncle Antonio, I think.”

“Really?”

“Well, from what we gather, he had a pretty good talk with Diego.”

“I know you didn’t believe me but I am sorry for when I called you a…whore when Uncle Antonio kissed you.”

“You were upset. I was, too.”

“I know but still, I shouldn’t have said that. I know you would never do anything to hurt Papi, just like he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. What?”

“That’s the first time you’ve called him ‘Papi’ in a long time.”

“I guess I felt it was something that only little kids do.”

“Em what does your dad call Abuela?”

“True,” she laughed, “And he’s 45. Mami?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you tell me the story of when I was born?”

“How many times have you heard it?”

“A few hundred. I still like to hear it.”

“Well, as you know, your Papi and I tried for almost a year before I finally got pregnant with you.”

“Yeah.”

“Of course, he watched everything I ate or drank when I was pregnant. He even baby-proofed the house when I was only 4 months pregnant. I was working in Narcotics with Uncle Nick at the time and he was watching out for me, too. I was a few days overdue and Papi, being the ‘comedian’ he thinks he is, decided to tell you that it was time for you to come out. I laughed so hard that my water broke. I was in so much pain. Nonna and Abuela were there, they were in and out while I was in labor. I got my epidural so I wouldn’t have to feel anything. When it was finally time, Papi held me as tight as he could as I pushed you out. He cried once he heard you crying. He was so proud of you. He had help make you after all. They had brought you in while I was sleeping to be fed and I remember hearing him tell you how long it took us to get you and how happy he was that you were finally here and he would do anything to protect you.”

“He’s the best, isn’t he?”

“He really is. He was one of my best friends, besides Aunt Erin, before we started dating.”

“He said he had a crush on you that whole time.”

“He did and I had a crush on him. We were both just stubborn, I guess. Here, how about this dress?”

“Green?”

“It will look great on you. Will you trust me?”

“Okay…Mami.”

“And this jacket to go with it?”

“Can I borrow the Manolo’s that match this?”

“Nice try. You’re foot isn’t as big as mine just yet.”

“You can’t fault me.”

“Go try the dress on.”

 

“You remember what I said, Diego?” Antonio told his son as they walked to Izzy and Rafael’s.

“Yes, sir.”

“I mean it. Izzy is my oldest friend in the world. If you…”

“Dad, I really like Emersyn. I’m not going to do anything to upset her, you, or Aunt Izzy, I swear.”

“You better not. Her Dad is a judge.”

“I know Mr. Barba is a judge, Dad. Will you just trust me?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m gonna trust my 15 year old son…”

“Dad!!”

“I’m going to be here until you guys return.”

“I know this.”

“Okay, let me have one last look. You look fine. You got her…”

“Corsage is right here, Dad.”

“Okay, let’s go up.”

 

“Mami!!”

“I’m getting it,” Izzy laughed as she went to answer the door after receiving Dawson’s text that they were in the building. “Hey, Antonio. Hey, Diego. Emersyn is almost ready.”

“Thanks, Aunt Izzy.”

“Well, you guys come on in.”

“Thank you for letting her come to the dance.”

“Don’t thank me. Thank your Dad and Emersyn’s dad.”

“What about me?” Rafael said as he came downstairs with Rhiannon.

“Uh, I was just telling Aunt Izzy, uh…”

“It’s fine, Diego,” Rafael laughed. “Emersyn Catalina hurry up!!”

“I’m coming, Papi!!”

She started coming down the stairs in the green dress her mother had picked out with the black jacket to go over it.

“Roll your tongue back up, boy,” Antonio told his son.

“You look…beautiful, Em.”

“Thanks, Diego.”

Antonio nudged him. “OH! This is for you,” Diego said as he put the corsage on her wrist.

“Thank you, Diego. It’s beautiful.”

“Okay, kids, your Uber just pulled up,” Rafael told them. 

“Thanks, Papi,” Emersyn said as she hugged him.

“10:30, princesa.”

“I know.”

“10:30, Diego,” Antonio repeated.

“Got it, Pop.”

They left, leaving their parents behind.

“When did I become ‘Pop’?”

“You’ll live, Dawson,” Izzy laughed.

“Can I get you a drink, Antonio?”

“Sure, Barba.”

Rafael handed Rhiannon to Izzy as he and Dawson went to get a drink.

“This could lead to trouble, Rhian.”

“Twouble, Mami.”

 

“You’re kidding!!!” Izzy heard her husband laughing from his office after she got Rhiannon to sleep.

“Not at all, Barba. Your wife always had a smart comment of some kind and our freshman English teacher was such a bitch. I mean Izzy tore out a single piece of notebook paper and that woman had a fit. So, what did you wife do once she turned her back? She tore out like 10 pages at once.”

“I know I’ve had a few to drink but that is pretty funny. I can see Izzy doing that. She likes to push buttons. Always has.”

“You’re telling me! But seriously, she was the best friend I could’ve ever asked for.”

“You don’t have any…feelings for my wife, do you?”

“You want me to be honest?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“No, Barba, I don’t. I know what I did when my dad died in 2018 wasn’t cool. We were sitting outside, reminiscing and it was more the fact that it was someone that I had known for so long…I can’t tell you how sorry I am about that. I saw the way she looked at you around that Christmas in 95. She still looks at you like that. I thought I had that with Laura and with Sylvie but I guess I was wrong.”

“You’ll find it one day, Antonio.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not too worried about it anymore. Oh shit. It’s 10:25.”

“Let’s get downstairs.”

10:29, Emersyn and Diego came through the door.

“Ah, a minute early.”

“Yes, Dad,” Diego laughed.

“Come on, Dawson, we can let them say good-bye,” Rafael laughed as he pulled Antonio toward the kitchen.

“I had a really good time tonight, Em.”

“So did I, Diego.”

“I guess I’ll see you Monday?”

“Of course. First period.”

“I can’t wait.”

Izzy was peeking out from the bathroom that was closest to their door. She could’ve melted seeing her daughter’s first real kiss. She waited until they finished before she came out, quietly, like she was coming from Rhiannon’s bedroom.

“Hey guys.”

“Hey, Mami.”

“How was the dance?”

“We had fun,” Emersyn said with a look on her face that Izzy recognized.

“Do you know where my dad is, Aunt Izzy?”

“I bet I know. Just stay here,” she said as she went into the kitchen and grabbed Antonio by his ear.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow! Damn, Izzy! Still the same move as high school.”

“Your son is ready to go home, Dawson.”

“Do we need to call an Uber, Dad?”

“It might be a good idea.”

“Blame your Uncle Rafa,” Izzy told Diego.

“No. Dad is a grown-ass man, dawg.”

“Alright, now, Diego. Don’t be acting like me and your Dad used to.”

“I’m kidding, Aunt Izzy. Thank you guys for letting Em come to the dance with me tonight.”

“You play your cards right, Rafael might let you start coming over.”

“I’d like that.”


	132. Chapter 132

“Papi, ake up!”

“Ugh, Rhian…”

“Ake up, Papi!”

“What the hell? Mija what is all over you? Oh my god.”

“What is it,” Izzy yawned. 

“Mami! Mami!”

“What is it, Hudson? Oh, dear Christ, how did you two get the fingerpaints?”

“I crawled up and got them off the shelf.”

“Hudson you shouldn’t be climbing on anything. You just got your cast off. Oh my god, Rhiannon!!”

She had blue paint all in her blond hair, along with pink and orange. 

“You see?”

“Uh, Raf?”

“What?”

She couldn’t bring herself to tell her husband about the big pink smudge on his cheek. “You’re pretty.”

“Yeah, well, I’m gonna go assess the damage these two have done. Don’t you guys know what a Sunday is?”

“Come on Hudson, in the tub.”

“Oh my god!!!!!” She heard her husband say from down the hall.

“What?”

“My briefcase! Look at it! You remember how much we paid for this, right?”

“Oh, yeah, I remember. We can clean it.”

“Go look at the carpet in Rhiannon’s room.”

“Lovely.”

“Here, take her so I can try and clean my briefcase.”

“Papi mad?”

“He hasn’t had his coffee yet, Rhian. You see this? Papi’s briefcase is a no-no. Never, ever touch it.”

“Sawy, Mami.”

“Just remember, okay? And your brother knows better.”

“Okay.”

 

“Tienen hijos, dijeron. Será divertido, dijeron. (Have kids, they said. It will be fun, they said.) Sí, es muy divertido despertarse un domingo para encontrar mi maletín cubierto de pintura (Yeah so much fun waking up on a Sunday to find my briefcase covered in paint). Aún no he tomado mi café (I haven't even had my coffee yet),” Izzy could hear her husband muttering to himself from the dining room table. She went and sat his coffee next to him as he continued working.

“Papi?” He looked up to see Rhiannon peaking around the corner, with the saddest look on her face. He knew she could tell that he was upset.

“Ven acá, bebita,” he said as he motioned for her. Her blond hair bounced as she ran to him so he could scoop her up and put her in his lap.

“Me in twouble?”

“A little bit, Rhiannon. You know you’re not supposed to touch that stuff without Mami or Papi’s help.”

“But Hudson…”

“I know and I will take care of him.”

“You no like Rhiannon no more?”

“Of course, I do, princesa. I love you but we have rules and you have to listen to them.”

“Okay.”

“Now what’s the rule about Papi’s briefcase?”

“No toques (don’t touch).”

“Muy bien, mija! I’ll have you taught Spanish quicker than I did Mami.”

“I heard that!”

“Uh-oh! Papi in twouble!”

“I stay in trouble, mija,” he laughed. “Why don’t you go help Mami with breakfast?”

“Okay,” she said as she slid off his lap and headed toward the kitchen.

“Uh, Papi?”

“Yeah, Emersyn?”

“What’s on your face?”

“What do you mean?”

“You have something pink on your face.”

“Your mother thinks she’s so funny.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Is Diego coming over this afternoon?”

“Yeah. He was going to church with his grandmother then he said he’d be over.”

“Okay.”

“You know, it’s been a little over a month. Do we have to stay in the living room?”

“Emersyn…”

“We’ll keep the door open. I just don’t want to watch the history channel.”

“But it’s Nazi week.”

“It’s always Nazi week, Papi,” she said as she rolled her eyes.

“I’ll talk to your mother.”

 

“Hey, Izz, Erin?”

“What’s up, Rollins?” Izzy said as she looked up from her computer.

“My mother has been giving me so much hell over this wedding. Nick and I were talking about it the other night and instead of our Mom’s and sisters, cousins, other extended family, we kind of decided that we’d rather just have this family. You know, you guys, your husbands, Fin and Warner, Carisi and Carmen, Liv and Brian, Mike and Alice, Dawson, the kids.”

“I’ll have to scrap everything I’ve been working on,” Izzy said feigning disgust. “What were you guys thinking about?”

She turned her laptop toward them. 

“Hawaii?”

“Yeah. Maybe the middle of June?”

“Can you book something that soon? That’s almost 2 months away.”

“Can Tony get off work, Erin?”

“I’m sure.”

“And Liv said that Hate Crimes can take over for us for the week if need be.”

“We’re in,” Izzy laughed. 

“So’s my family,” Erin agreed.

“Fin?”

“What’s up, Sergeant Shorty?”

“Still? You and Warner want to go to Hawaii in June?”

“Hawaii? What for?”

“So Amanda can make an honest man out of Nick.”

“Count us in.”

“Alright, let’s get it on the books. Izz you’ll call Mike?”

“Oh, sure,” she laughed.

“Dawson?”

“Yeah, Lindsay?”

“A week in Hawaii in June sound good to you?”

“Sure. Kid, too?”

“Duh.”

“Looks like Barba and I will be working on our vacation keeping two hormonal teenagers out of each other’s rooms.”

“You’re not going to make Diego share a room with you?”

“What if I meet someone, Izzy? That’s the best place to do so. I can hook-up and never see them again.”

“Christ, Antonio. We’re 43, man.”

“So? I was married how long?”

“And you’ve been single how long?”

“I got married before you did.”

“Fine. Whatever. Just use a condom, that’s all I’m saying.”


	133. Chapter 133

“Did you ladies have fun spending mine and Amaro’s hard earned money,” Rafael laughed as Izzy, Amanda, Emersyn, and Zara came in from some last minute shopping before their upcoming trip.

“We spent our hard earned NYPD money, thank you very much, Barba,” Rollins said with a bit of snark.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Amaro.”

Rollins just made a face at him but he was too busy going through the bags his wife had set on the table. “Well, hello,” he said as he picked up a two piece bathing suit out of one of them.

“Uh, that’s your daughters.”

“Ah!! No, no, no, no!!!”

“What did you buy to freak out Barba now,” Nick said as he joined them.

“Mami did you grab my bag from…oh here it is.”

“I think that so-called bathing suit needs to be returned.”

“Papi come on.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“Show your Uncle Nick.”

“Fine. See?”

“Barba that’s not that bad. Come on, there’s a lot more to that than what they see on television.”

“Thanks, Uncle Nick. Zara got the same one but a different color.”

“No, she didn’t.”

“Uh, yeah she did.”

“Tell her to come here.”

“No, Em, just take your stuff to your room,” Amanda laughed. 

“Thanks, Aunt Amanda.”

“You two are okay with those?”

“Yeah? Nick you made a good point when it was okay for my daughter to have one.”

“Well, that was different, Izzy.”

“How so, Nick?”

“Because…just…”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, Nicholas. Get the kids. I have a few confirmation emails and phone calls I need to take care of.”

“Okay.”

 

The Amaro-Rollins family left and Izzy took her bags to their bedroom.

“I know you think I’m just being an overprotective father because Diego is coming and yes, that does have something to do with it but, what I’m more worried about is what if she has a bad day and looks at herself and starts thinking she’s fat?”

“Raf honestly I don’t think you’re giving her enough credit…”

“Stop! Something could trigger her and we could end up losing her next time.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad.”

“Em…”

“No, it’s fine,” she said as she turned and walked out of her parents’ bedroom.

“Fuck.”

“I’ll go talk to her.”

“No, let me, cariño.”

Rafael walked upstairs to his oldest daughter’s room and knocked on the opened door.

“What?”

“Can I come in?”

“It’s your house,” she shrugged.

“Princesa I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

“Don’t you want me to comfortable with how I look?”

“Yes, I do. I also want you to stay healthy. Don’t you remember what you went through with everything?”

“Yes, Dad. I think I remember better than anyone. I mean, I barely weighed 100lbs. I didn’t have any strength to try and fight when you told the doctor to put a feeding tube in me.”

“I didn’t have a choice, you know that. I couldn’t wait on Mami, she was at Rikers and couldn’t get to her phone.”

“I know. It saved my life, really.”

“Well, it started things.”

“Papi, I have to fight this every day. Not you and not Mami, me. I wake up every day and remind myself that food is not my enemy. Some days are harder than others but for the most part, I love to eat,” she joked. “I don’t do it for you, Mami, my brothers and sister, or Diego for that matter. I do it for me. The only way I’m ever going to ultimately win the war, is if I fight for me, not for everybody else.”

“When did you get so grown-up?”

“I am 15 now, Papi.”

“You don’t have to remind me. I got 15 gray hairs on your birthday.”

“You did not,” she said as she rolled her eyes.

“Okay, maybe 5.”

“Jeez, Papi. You’re only 45.”

“I know, I know. Seriously though, you do need to get something to cover up since your boyfriend is coming on this trip.”

“Ugh, Dad!!”

“What?!”

“Mami’s right. You are impossible.”

“I do my best.”

 

“Ho-ly shit,” Mike said as they walked into the house they had rented for the week.

“Untle Mike, bad word.”

“Sorry, Rhian,” he laughed. “I’m sure she hears worse at home.”

“And we get told the same thing,” his step brother told him.

“Okay, I don’t know about anyone else, but I need a fucking nap.”

“Aunt Ewin…”

“Sorry, baby girl.”

“Let’s get the room assignments figured out cause I agree with Erin,” Izzy spoke up.

“We can all wake up on Hawaii time and go check out the beach where Nick and Amanda are getting married.”

“Sounds good, Liv.”

 

So, Fin, you’re walking Rollin’s down the aisle?”

“I am, Carisi.”

“That’s decent.”

“Are you guys staying out here for another week after you get married?”

“For a few days. Izzy and Barba are taking the kids back with them. We have some catching up to do, if you know what I mean?”

“Did you guys decide not to have sex before the wedding, too?”

“For two weeks, Carisi.”

“Izzy and I did that…for a month.”

“A month?”

“It was brutal. I mean we lived together. I was convinced there wasn’t going to be a wedding as much as we fought.”

“It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“It was much worse, Fin. They got into a fight at my parents at Thanksgiving. I don’t even remember what started it,” Tony said. “I do remember my mother telling them that if they were going to continue to fight, they needed to abandon their ‘celibacy vow’ and just screw their frustrations out.”

“No, she didn’t,” Cassidy laughed.

“Yes, she did. My mother-in-law said those exact words, in front of my father-in-law, mind you. He just covered his face, and this fucker here, dies laughing to the point he chokes on his food,” Rafael said as he pointed to Tony.

“So, did you?”

“No, Carisi. I moved to the couch. Now, after we were finally married, our first time as husband and wife was in a coatroom at our reception.”

“I fucking knew I wasn’t hearing shit like Erin tried to tell me I was,” Dawson laughed.

“No, you weren’t, Antonio. We couldn’t fucking stand it anymore.”

“What about you, Carisi?”

“Well, I think it was easier for me and Carmen cause we didn’t live together before we got married. Although, when we caught the girls at The Four Seasons the night before our wedding, she was trying to break our ‘vow’.”

“I had sex the night before your wedding,” Mike said as he raised his hand.

“I did, too. A few times in that penthouse we found them in.”

“You guys were screwing in the bathroom before we ever left,” Cassidy replied to Barba.

“Come on, man, that’s my sister.”


	134. Chapter 134

“You okay, Amanda?” Izzy asked after Amanda got off the phone after a heated argument with her sister.

“Just Kim, again. I’m not flying her out here. We’re getting married in four days. I’m not changing anything. Plus, I just…I don’t trust her. I haven’t been able to in years.”

“We all know that. Don’t let it get to you.”

“You’re right. I’m not. No more drama. I am marrying a wonderful man on Friday. I’m not letting anything bring me down.”

“Good. Now, let’s go check on the guys cooking breakfast.”

“I trust Nick. Who do you think does most of the cooking in our apartment?”

“I forgot you can burn jell-o.”

“Ha ha,” Rollins said as she rolled her eyes.

They walked into the kitchen to find the kids eating at the table, the adults standing around either the bar in the middle of the kitchen or to the side.

“Thanks for letting us know breakfast was ready,” Izzy scoffed.

“I just figured you were knocked out from your head hitting your headboard last night.”

“Uh, EW, Uncle Mike!!” Emersyn said as she came to get some more bacon.

“Good job, Mini-Dodds,” Barba said as he hit him in the back of the head.

“I forgot they were in here. Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, Em.”

“Don’t make it any worse, Uncle Mike, please.”

“Gimme that bacon and hush.”

Emersyn didn’t think twice before slapping her uncle’s hand.

“She’s just like her mother,” Tony laughed.

“Papi!!”

“What do you need, Hudson?”

“Rhiannon took my muffin.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Okay, you two. Rhiannon give your brother his muffin back.”

“I still hungwy.”

“Okay, fine princesa but don’t take food from your brother or anyone else. Got it?”

“Got it. Here, Hudson.”

“What do you say, Hudson?”

“Girls are mean.”

“Hudson Andrew.”

“Thank you. But girls are still mean.”

“Not me.”

“Except Jesse,” he said with a smile.

“I don’t think Diego and Emersyn are your only worries, Barba.”

“Funny, Fin.”

 

“Raf stop spying on them.”

“I’m not spying, Elizabeth.”

“What are you doing, Rafael?”

“Just making sure they’re being safe in the pool.”

“They can all swim, they’re fine. Diego isn’t going to try anything with Jackson and Gil out there.”

“All the younger kids asleep?”

“Except Noah, I think. He’s playing a game on his iPad I think. Come on. It’s just the adults right now.”

“Fine,” he said as he poured another glass of scotch.

“How many is that?”

“Are you keeping count?” He laughed.

“I might be.”

“How many drinks have you had, mi amor?”

“This is my third. Come on.”

 

“Okay, what’s worse? Being walked in on by your kids or your parents?” Carmen asked.

“Parents!”

“No, come on, Barba, kids.”

“I agree with Barba, Cassidy. It is definitely your parents, especially if you’re an adult,” Mike laughed. 

“Has that ever happened to you?”

“We have been walked in by my mom and Izzy’s mom. My father-in-law heard us one time but he didn’t see anything, thank god.”

“Was that when you guys were dating?”

“No, Liv. We were married. It happened when we were trying to get pregnant. We had been married a little over a year. My mom had a key, which she has one to our place now. Anyways, since I was trying to knock her up, we were doing it all the time. We had both actually taken a personal day and didn’t tell anyone. Didn’t think to. My mom went by my office, which I wasn’t there so she came to our apartment. In our first apartment in Brooklyn, our bedroom was far away from the door, so it was hard to hear if the door opened.”

“Especially when the headboard is hitting the wall and the door is shut,” Izzy laughed.

“That, too. So, we’re going at it, not paying any attention, sheet is barely covering us, all of a sudden we hear my mother let out the most god-awful sound and slam the bedroom door back.”

“Oh my god. Poor Lucia,” Liv laughed.

“Poor Lucia? No, poor Rafael and Izzy. We were trying to make a baby. She had to have heard something, why did she continue to come in our room?”

“Parents don’t like to think we have sex. Come to think about it, I think I was more embarrassed when my mom walked in on me and Liv than when she walked in on me when I was 17.”

“My mom walked in on me and Amanda a few weeks ago.”

“Oh, Cesaria had to have wanted to die.”

“That’s not even the word, Izzy,” Nick said as he shook his head. “It’s like, mom, I have 3 kids. How do you think they got here?”

“Parents don’t like to think about their kids having sex, no matter what their age is.”

“I don’t want to think about you having sex, period.”

“Tony we’ve been over this. You married my best friend, I married yours. We have sex just like you do. Maybe not just like you.”

“That’s something I’ve always wondered.”

“What’s that, Melinda?”

“How did you put up with that in college? Didn’t the three of you live together for about a year?”

“Yes, we did. Our rooms were separated by the living room which was pretty big. Plus, I’d turn up my TV for good measure. I mean I didn’t care that they were dating, I didn’t think about the sex part, cause, well, it’s my sister.”

“That’s understandable. I had a friend in high school that was dating my older brother, I did not want any details,” Carmen laughed. “It was like ew no!”

“I had to tell Erin the same thing. We had strict rules. If Tony was coming to our dorm, I was going to his and Raf’s. We had a schedule.”

“I bet you guys were fun in college,” Carmen said.

“We had our moments. You wouldn’t believe some of the things your boss used to pull. Sneaking me out of class and then lying to my professors as to why he was interrupting their class.”

“I did not.”

“That trip to Boston?”

“And they weren’t even dating then. He followed my sister around like a dog. Couldn’t hang out with his boys incase my sister called.”

“And 7 out of 10 times, she would, and we’d end up meeting with you, Zack, Ted, Andrew, and Erin anyways.”

“And his arm would always find its way around my sister and mind you, they weren’t dating.”

“I remember one night we all were out and that girl asked him to dance, your sister got so pissed.”

“I didn’t not, Erin.”

“Uh, yeah, you do. While he was dancing with her, you grabbed me and made me leave with you.”

“And then my pager started blowing up a half hour later. I finally turned it off before he ran the battery down.”

“Well, I tried to kiss you and you hugged me so I didn’t know what to think. I was giving up.”

“Okay, tell those teenagers to get inside. We have a busy day tomorrow,” Amanda laughed.

“Yes, we have to check the floors, make sure the place we picked for our reception is starting to get set up. The countdown is on,” Nick smiled, “and I get to marry this beautiful woman.”

“You still going to be Detective Rollins?”

“I don’t think so, Liv. I think once everything is changed officially, there will be another Detective Amaro in SVU.”

“Good for you, Nick. It took Izzy how many years before she stopped using her married name?”

“15 years,” Nick remarked.

“Zip it, Little Nicky.”

“And Izz is the only person that I have ever let get away with calling me that.”

 

“Diego, I really need to get to my room.”

“One more kiss?”

“Fine,” Emersyn laughed as she playfully rolled her eyes.

“Are you going to dream about me?”

“I might.”

“Go to bed, Diego!! You, too, Emersyn!”

“Okay, Dad. I’ll see you in the morning, Em.”

“Dulces sueños, mi amor.”

“Dulces sueños, cariño.”

“Diego you heard your dad! Emersyn!”

“I’m going, Papi. Night, Diego.”

“Night.”


	135. Chapter 135

“Okay. Amanda just breathe.”

“I can’t, Liv. I feel like I’m about to pass out.”

“Here. Get in front of the fan.”

“It’ll mess my hair up. Nick saw me…”

“Amanda, Barba saw me on our wedding day and we’ve been married almost 18 years. Stop with these silly wives tales.”

“I’m trying.”

“Do you even know why a groom couldn't see the bride before the wedding? It dates back to arranged marriages. People thought that if the couple had time to see each other before the wedding, they would change their minds and bail on actually getting married. That's not you and Nick, okay?”

“Izzy’s right. Think about when you two first met, the good and the bad that you’ve been through and look where you two are now,” Liv countered. 

A small smile crept across Amanda’s face. “You guys are right, I’m being ridiculous.”

“My dad loves you, Amanda. Me and Gil kind of like you,” Zara joked.

“I kind of like you guys, too.”

“Oh my god, Rhian, did Papi fix your hair?”

“No, me do it.”

“Well, you did a better job than Papi would’ve.”

“I’ll take care of it, Mami.”

“Thank you, Em. Go see what those guys are up to while you’re out there, please.”

“Got it. Come on, Zara.”

“And don’t get sidetracked by Diego.”

“I won’t, Mami. We’ve behaved ourselves this whole time.”

“As opposed to not behaving in New York?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Just go.”

 

“Well, Miss Rollins, are you ready?”

“I am, Fin. Finally.”

“Okay, well, see you out there, Amanda.”

“Thanks, Liv.”

Izzy went and sat next to Rafael and put Rhiannon in her lap.

“You look beautiful, Mami,” he growled.

“Raf shh.”

“I want to be inside of you.”

“Will you stop? Now, two of our best friend are getting married. Keep it in your pants.”

“Do you know how hard that is when you look like that.”

“How many drinks did you have?”

“Two or three.”

“Jeez. Be quiet, here comes Zara and Jesse.”

They all sat and watched as Amanda and Nick recited their vows, participated in a ceremony that united their families as one. Izzy, Liv, Erin, Melinda, Alice, and Carmen couldn’t stop their tears as Amanda and Nick told each other how they had always loved each other. Nick told her how she was one of the biggest reasons he came home to New York. Amanda told him that he was one of the biggest reasons she had stayed. Rafael made sure he had a handkerchief in his inside pocket for his wife and handed it to her so she could wipe her eyes.

After the wedding, they had a small reception which included dinner. A few drinks, a few dances, and everyone was feeling good. Nick and Amanda had gotten a honeymoon suite at a resort not far from where they got married so the rest of the “crew” took the kids back to their rental property. 

“What are the guys doing?” Alice asked after she had gotten changed out of her dress.

“Drinking outside.”

“Sticking us with the kids,” Carmen remarked.

“Of course they did, Carmen,” Erin laughed. “They all have to hang out and talk about sex.”

“Like we don’t?” Liv added.

“True.”

“Please don’t,” Emersyn said as she and Zara came out of their room.

“Where’s the boys?”

“Outside with Papi and the ‘Uncles’.”

“Aww, Diego’s outside, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” Emersyn said as she crossed her arms and sat down beside her mother.

“Em guys need their time together. It’ll be okay,” Liv snickered as she took a drink of her wine.

“Aunt Izzy!”

“What, Gil?”

“Let me have a beer.”

“Boy have you lost your mind?! Your dad would kill me!”

“No, he wouldn’t. He’ll never know.”

“Uncle Rafa, Uncle Sonny…”

“They said they wouldn’t tell if you wouldn’t.”

“I’m going to kill both of them. No.”

“Come on.”

“No, Gilberto Carlos Amaro. End of story. If I let you do it, I’ll have Jackson, Emersyn, and Zara asking the same thing.”

“You used to be the fun aunt.”

“Nice try, Gil. I have a degree in Psychology, remember?”

“Damn. Okay.”

“And watch your mouth!”

“Dad and Amanda let me say ‘damn’.”

“Do you see them here?”

“Ugh, fine. I’m going back outside.”

“Bye, Felicia.”

“Zara!”

“Sorry, Aunt Izzy, but you know you were thinking it.”

“I really was,” Izzy laughed.

 

“I would love to be a woman just one day of my life. I’d be drunk with power,” Rafael told Carisi, Cassidy, Mike, Fin, Dawson, and Tony as they sat outside, causing them all to laugh. “No, no. Come on. Think about it. Women can have a bad day and blame it on their hair and we buy it.”

“Truth,” Carisi laughed.

“A couple of weeks ago, Izzy was in a god awful, grouchy mood. I finally said, ‘what is wrong with you’ and she says, ‘I’m having a bad hair day!’. I was like, ‘well, alright I’ll be upstairs in my office’. We couldn’t do that.”

“You’re right, Barba,” Brian added.

“I mean, we can’t have a bad pecker day. And we do. Correct me if I’m wrong but there’s some days, I want to slap a leash on mine and walk it around the block!”

All the guys agreed through their laughter.

“And other days, maybe it was cold or I slept on it wrong but I can’t blame my whole day on that. I mean, Mike can’t come up to me and ask what’s wrong with me and I say, ‘Uggghhhhh, I’m having a bad pecker day. I took a shower, went to sleep on the couch with it still wet, I can’t do anything with it’.”

“You could always try wearing it up, putting it in a ponytail…” Fin joked.

“You guys see what I’m saying, though, right?”

“Definitely,” Dawson said. “Sylvie was like that. It was always little things that set her off.”

“Dawson why don’t you call that girl and ask her to move out here?”

“It’s not that simple, Carisi.”

“You talk about her all the time. You’re obviously not over her.”

“Thanks, Tony. New York isn’t for her.”

“How do you know if you don’t ask?” Rafael wondered. “Izzy knows plenty of people and could help her get a job with a number of EMS services around New York.”

“You guys think I should?”

“Hell yes, Dawson! If you love her, what is there to think about?”

“Fin’s right. Come on, Dawson.”

“Okay, Mini-Dodds. I’ll talk to her when we get home.”

“Good. Oh and for the record, only my step-brother and his wife can call me ‘Mini-Dodds’.”

“I’ve known your sister in law longer than you and her husband.”

“Alright. I got you.”

“Hey, turn that up, Fin.”

“It’s hooked up to Carisi’s phone, Barba.”

“Turn it up,” Rafael said as he heard “Voices” by Cheap Trick. That was he and Izzy’s song. That song was playing in that bar the first time they kissed. He got up from his chaise and went inside, grabbing his wife, and pulling her outside. “I’m so in love with you again/Please can I see you every day…”, he sang as he danced with her in front of his “boys”. The rest of the guys got their women to do the same, except poor Antonio. All he could think about was Sylvie Brett. He left her behind in Chicago. Maybe the guys were right. All she needed was an invitation and they could continue their lives together. She had talked about starting over somewhere else but he didn’t think he could, even though he packed up Diego and came home to New York.

 

“Okay, Zara you are in Emersyn’s room, Gil you’re with Jack…”

“We know, Uncle Rafa,” Zara laughed as they all unloaded once they got back to Manhattan.

“I’m gonna put Aiden and Rhian down,” Izzy said as she kissed her husband’s cheek.

“Oh, leave me with Jesse and Hudson,” he laughed.

“Baby.”

“It’s fine, cariño. It’s 11:30 at night. We all need sleep.”

Aiden and Rhian were both cranky after the long plane ride so Rafael and Izzy decided to let both of them sleep in their bed.

“Mi amor?”

“Si Rafa?”

“We’re done with four, right?”

“Raf!!”

“I just think about one of your favorite Marx Brothers…”

“Zeppo?”

“No.”

“Groucho?”

“No, cariño. Harpo.”

“He’s my least favorite Marx brother.” 

“No. Chico is.”

“Damn.”

“I know you too well, mi vida. Anyways, Harpo adopted enough kids so that he’d have a face in each window of their house when he came home.”

“Rafa, we live in a condo in Manhattan. Harpo and his wife lived in California.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Let’s get Rhian out of diapers before we think about adopting another. ¿Entiendes?”

“Sí mi hermosa esposa.”

“Siempre te querré, mi guapo Rafael (I will always love you, my handsome Rafael).”

“Siempre te querré, mi linda Izzy. Forever.”


	136. Chapter 136

Izzy went upstairs after she heard incessant banging on a door.

“Emersyn what’s the problem?”

“Jackson won’t get out of the bathroom. Hurry up, doofus!!”

“We have 3 other bathrooms.”

“But my make-up and hair stuff is in this one and Diego will be here in 30 minutes.”

“Oh my god, so he sees you looking less than perfect.”

“Mom!!” She whined.

“Your dad saw me and still sees me without make-up and my hair a mess all the time.”

“That’s different.”

“There. It’s all yours, sis,” Jackson said as he walked out with his iPad.

“You may not want to go in there if he was in there with his iPad. I’m just saying.”

“Ew, Mom.”

“I used to share a bathroom with your Uncle Tony. It wasn’t pretty. He’d either be doing that or…”

“Or what?”

“Nothing.”

“You don’t think he was…”

“I said nothing, Emersyn. Go!”

“Considering it doesn’t smell like a sewage plant in here…”

“Knock it off.”

 

“What’s wrong?” Rafael asked as he met Izzy on the way to his home office.

“Have you talked to Jack about…sex or…masturbation?”

“NO!”

“Well, I think you need to.”

“Why?”

“He was in the bathroom for about 30 minutes.”

“So? You see the way he eats.”

“Rafa.”

“Fine. He is 13 and in eighth grade now. I started masturbating when I was around 12.”

“No wonder you’re so good at it.”

“Well, I had to learn how to get a handle on this monster I carry around.”

“Jesus,” she laughed as she shook her head. “I know you’re proud.”

“You are, too. I still remember the look on your face the first…”

“Shut up! Talk to your son.”

“I’m going,” he laughed as he walked away. He knocked on Jackson’s door.

“Yeah?”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure, Papi. What’s up?”

“Mijo we need to talk.”

“Okay? Am I in trouble?”

“No. You feeling okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Mami said you’ve been in the bathroom…for extended periods of time.”

Jackson turned a light shade of pink.

Rafael took a deep breath before he started. “Okay so I get it.”

“You do?”

“Yes, I was around your age when I started…that, too.”

“Oh.”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I mean, it doesn’t feel bad.”

“Do you still do it?”

“Uh…um…on occasion. Sometimes, yeah.”

“Do girls do it?”

“Everybody does it, except Mormons. Look, it’s normal, it’s natural. It’s no big deal.”

“Okay.”

“Any questions about…anything else?”

“Not yet.”

“Well, my door’s open. Any time you want to ask me something…”

“Thanks, Papi.”

 

“Hey, Mami?”

“Yeah, Emersyn?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“After you hand me the tomatoes out of the refrigerator you can.”

“Sure. Here.”

“Okay, so what’s up?”

“How old were you the first time you had sex?”

Izzy had a metal bowl in her hands and had to all of a sudden juggle it when her daughter asked that.

“I was, uh, 30.”

“Mami.”

“I was 16, sophomore year of high school. Why? Have you…”

“No. We’ve been talking about it but neither of us have done it so we’re not really sure. How did you know?”

“I had been dating this guy, Matt, for a few months and we had talked about it and one night, after a football game, we went back to his house, and it happened.”

“Did it hurt?”

“A little at first.”

“Does it always hurt?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, I have heard you and Papi and…”

“Heard us what?” Rafael asked as he came in to get a bottle of water.

“I’ve heard you guys having sex.”

“Bye,” he said as he promptly shut the refrigerator and walked back out without his water.

“Glad I didn’t go to him. I mean, is that because you enjoy it?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, that just comes out. I wasn’t like that with every guy I’ve been with.”

“How many guys have you been with?”

“Including Papi? Maybe 8.”

“Mami! Kind of a slut weren’t you?”

“A little bit. When I was in high school, I really used guys for one thing.”

“Damn.”

“Papi is the only man that I’ve slept with that I had any real feelings for. I know you have feelings for Diego and when you’re ready, after college, that will make it so much better.”

“Mom.”

“Okay. Look, I’m gonna tell you what Nonna told me. Whenever you’re ready, do not be afraid to come to me. We will get you on birth control but that doesn’t mean Diego doesn’t need to use condoms, too. I told you about the accident Papi I had in college.”

“I know. I don’t need a kid or want one anytime soon. Maybe in 15 years.”

“Good girl. Go check on your brother and sister for me, please.”

“Okay.”


	137. Chapter 137

“You really applied for a judgeship, Tony?” Rafael asked his brother in law as they sat at Club A Steakhouse for their usual night out.

“Yeah. I mean, I get tired of the drama with these divorces, you know?”

“I get it, trust me.”

“You like being a judge?”

“I really do, except when I have sentencing hearings. That’s the worst of it, really.”

“Okay. So, how are you doing with the whole Emersyn thing?”

“Your sister took her and put her on birth control, that implant thing. They haven’t done anything yet but she wasn’t taking any chances.”

“Can’t say I blame her. I mean, Ma put Izzy on birth control when she was 15, before she ever did anything like that.”

“Yeah, I guess it was a good idea. Jesus, I remember when she came out of your sister and now I’m having to worry about her having sex?”

“She’s that age. You remind me of Pop when it came to your wife,” Tony laughed with his mouth full of steak.

“Well, Em is my first born and my first daughter. Keep laughing, asshole. I’ll remember that shit when Arianna is a teenager.”

“Anyways! So, everything else going okay?”

“Of course, man. What about you?”

“Oh, it’s going great. Look, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t like to hear to about your and my sister’s sex life but…have you ever let her…go in the backdoor?”

“Why do you ask,” Rafael said with his eyebrow arched.

“Okay, have you ever heard of ‘pegging’?”

“Tony really? I’m 45. Yes, I’ve heard of that.”

“Well, Erin and I have been…doing that lately.”

“Are you serious?”

“You mean you’ve never done it?”

“No! Sure, I get a finger or two in the ass when I’m getting head but no, we’ve never done that.”

“Oh my god, you don’t know what you’re missing!”

“Seriously?”

“Yes! It is an amazing feeling.”

“Wow. I would’ve never PEGGED you for a bottom, Tony.”

“Ha ha, Rafael. All the shit you and my sister do and you’ve never done that?”

“Never thought about it, I guess. What do you mean ‘all the stuff we do’?”

“You think Erin hasn’t told me how my sister will handcuff you to your bed?”

“And you could handle it?”

“I just told her I didn’t want too many details. Kind of like the three way you guys had.”

“Wha- she told you!?”

“Uh yeah she did,” Tony actually laughed.

“Look, Tony, I never touched her…”

“Oh, I know. My sister would’ve cut your dick off if you had.”

“I am pretty attached to it. It was a onetime…”

“Come on, Barba. You know I had three ways in college. I don’t like to think of my wife having sex with my sister but oh well. Can’t say I’m all the surprised.”

“Okay. Let’s just drop it.”

“Look all I’m saying is that you need to try it.”

“You’re giving me advice about how to screw your sister?”

“NO!!!!”

“That’s what it sounds like, Tony.”

“Your Honor, Counselor, here’s the check.”

“Thanks, Robert. Who’s turn is it to pay?”

“Yours, Tony. After what I just heard, I think it’s going to be your turn for a while.”

“Funny, Barba.”

 

Izzy was laying in bed, waiting on her husband after getting Hudson and Rhiannon to sleep.

“Hola, mi amor,” he said as he walked into their bedroom.

“Hey baby,” she said with a smile. “How was your night with my brother?”

“Uh…interesting,” he said as he took his silver tie off.

“How so?

“Let me get into my pajamas, cariño,” Raf said with a chuckle.

“Okay.”

Once we put on his blue plaid pajama bottoms on while a plain white tee, Rafael crawled into bed and started kissing Izzy’s neck.

“Raf?” She said as her eyes rolled into the back of her head at the feel of his lips and tongue against her neck.

“What, mi vida?”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Rafa, I have a headache.” 

“So? I can put it in your ass. That would get rid of that headache.”

“Raf!!”

“okay. Sorry,” he laughed against her neck. “Hey, can we talk for a minute?” 

“Of course, Raf.”

“Is there anything that we haven’t done in bed that you’d want to do?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure, Rafa. I mean what haven’t we done?”

“There’s still a few things, even after all these years,” he answered with that fucking trademark smirk.

“Like what?”

“No, cariño. I know there’s something you have to have wanted to do that we haven’t yet.”

“I would like to engage in some more role play,” she giggled.

“We can do that, mi amor. Anything else?”

“Maybe having a little more control.”

“Well, there is one way you could have more control over me.”

“Really?”

“You’ve heard about pegging, haven’t you?”

“Of course I have. I mean who…are you serious?”

“Only if it was something you’d be in to. Otherwise, I never brought it up.”

“You’d really be into something like that?”

“Why not,” he said with a shrug. “Wouldn’t you like that power over me?”

“Honestly? Yes I would. You are always telling me what to do and how to do it, maybe it’s my turn. How big were you thinking?”

“Nothing near my size,” he laughed, “I don’t know how you handle me in your ass.”

“It’s out of love, dear.”

“I can handle two fingers but I don’t think we should go too thick or too long.”

“You really want to do this?”

“Only if you do, mi amor,” he whispered as he rolled on top of her, kissing her neck.

“I…uh…yeah…okay…we can do it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I think it would be fun.”

“Good,” he said with a small smile as he pulled her panties down and stuck two of his very long fingers inside of her while his thumb worked at her clit.

“God, Raf.”

“You want my fingers or do you want me?”

“I want you and your cock, Raf.”

His pj bottoms and boxers were done in a split second before he shoved his huge cock in her. “God!!!” She screamed. Rafael moved in and out of his wife with such precision that she couldn’t hold back her orgasm as she clinched around him.

“You’re not done yet, are you, mi amor?” He asked while he still thrusted into her.

“God…no…Raf.”

“Good, Elizabeth. I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t stand,” he whispered.

“Please, Raf. Fuck me.”

“Raf, huh? You don’t want Papi?”

“NO. Fuck me, Rafael,” she said with a fistful of his hair.

About 30 minutes later, he spilled his load into his wife as he moaned her name and she moaned his. He got her to not one, not two, but three orgasms that night. He sucked a spot right about her left tit before he rolled off of his wife. “So, you want to fuck me?”

“I fuck you all the time, Rafa.”

“You know what I mean, mi vida.”

“Oh! Actually, yeah. I think it would be hot.”

“So do I, Elizabeth,” he whispered. “You can fuck me in the ass just like I do you.”

“Maybe not just like you do me.”

“Close enough,” he said as he took her earlobe between his teeth.

“You want me to get it or…”

“Let’s go shopping together, mi amor.”

“You got it.”

 

“Okay, so what are we looking for exactly?” Rafael asked as they stood in the middle of The Pleasure Chest one afternoon after he was finished with court.

“A strap on?”

“I know that, Izz.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Si, mi amor. There isn’t much we haven’t done, this is something else we can cross off our list.”

“This was never on our list, Rafa. How about this one?”

“That’s bigger than me,” he laughed.

“True. Okay, this one?”

“It says ‘5 1/2 inches’…I could handle that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Si, mi reina. Shit.”

“What?”

“The mayor is calling a meeting in 20 minutes.”

“Really? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.”

“Pick out whatever you want, cariño,” he said as he placed a kiss on his wife’s cheek. “Just make sure we have enough Astroglide.”

“Shut up. GO!”

“Yes, ma’am, Sergeant,” he said with a smile.

Izzy continued looking around the sex shop after her husband left. She picked up a few things; toys, DVDs, and some other stuff before she finally left.


	138. Chapter 138

“So, what’s the big deal?”

“Sophie is almost a year old. That’s not too soon to have another baby?”

“Don’t you want them closer in age? Look at me and Barba. I have Gil who is 16, then Aiden who is almost two. They have Emersyn who is 15 and Rhiannon who is 2. We have big age differences with our oldest and youngest kids.”

“Nick’s right. I mean Em and Jack are 18 months apart, Hudson and Rhiannon are 2 years apart but…”

“No, I get it. I just thought we’d have Sophie out of diapers before we got pregnant again.”

“Well, it’s not up to you really. I mean you were playing fast and loose with the birth control.”

“Well, we’re gonna have one more after this and then I’m getting the snip, snip like you did, Barba.”

“Don’t forget, he had his reversed.”

“AND redone, Nick. Make sure you are absolutely sure, Carisi, before you get it done. The reversal was worse than the first procedure.”

“Papi?”

“What’s up, Jack?”

“Can you sign this?”

“What is it? You have detention after school tomorrow? Really? Did you really say this?”

“It just slipped out,” he shrugged.

“What did he say?”

“A student in his science class asked if something could be that big and my son says, ‘that’s what she said’,” he read off the paper Jackson had handed him. Nick and Carisi bowled over in laughter as Rafael signed the paper and handed it to his son, all while trying to keep a straight face himself. “Show Mami when she gets home.”

“Okay.”

“Go do your homework.” Rafael waited for Jackson to leave his home office before he started laughing. “He is his mother’s child.”

“You are just as bad, Barba.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Nick?”

“You’re a smartass like your wife. More so, in fact.”

“Are you still hurt over the bodega psychoanalysis comment? That was 7 years ago. I have said a lot worse to you, before and since.”

“He’s right, Nick,” Carisi laughed. “He’s been terrible to me over the years.”

“Carisi I let you shadow me and helped you prepare for the bar.”

“Boo-yah, Fordham Law!”

“You deserved that, Carisi.”

“God you used to drive us nuts with your law school chatter.”

“You two used to talk about me in Spanish, didn’t you, Amaro?”

Nick just kind of shrugged.

“I fucking knew it. I knew you guys were talking about me.”

“Sigue tan afilado como siempre (He's still as sharp as ever).”

“No tienes que decírmelo, Nick (you don’t have to tell me).”

“Stop it, guys.”

“Podríamos seguir haciendo esto y hacerlo paranoico (We could keep doing this and really make him paranoid).”

“Deberíamos, Barba. Tanto como hemos aguantado de él a través de los años (We should, Barba. As much as we've put up with from him over the years).”

“Knock it off.”

“Uno pensaría que lo recogerá, merodeando por nosotros. Mis dos viejos lo están recogiendo (You'd think he would pick up on it, hanging around us. My two year old is picking it up).”

“Amanda y Jesse han recogido algo (Amanda and Jesse have picked some up).”

“Okay, I’m leaving.”

“Sit down, Carisi. We’re just fucking with you.”

“Calm down, man. What kind of day would it be if Barba and I didn’t give you hell?”

“A good one.”

“Maybe but it wouldn’t be a normal one,” Rafael laughed. “Admit it, if Amaro and I didn’t give you shit, you would think we were pissed off at you.”

“Maybe,” Carisi said as he rolled his eyes.

“Come on, you’re our little white brother. We have to pick on you.”

“Barba already has one of those.”

“Two, we just never see Matt. I’ve had you following me around a lot longer.”

 

“Mi amor what are you doing?”

“Trying to help Hudson find that candy bar.”

“Oh, the one you ate last night?”

“You helped.”

“Just go buy him another one.”

“This is much more fun,” she scoffed. “Oh and by the way, before you think about us adopting another child, I had to watch your two year old throw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow at the park today.”

“Really?”

“Really. I tried not to laugh but I couldn’t help it. Which in turn made her laugh.”

“Papi?”

“Yes, Hudson?”

“How do you spell scotch?”

“Why do you want to know?” Rafael said as he started laughing.

“Just wondering,” he said as he skipped back off toward his room.

“What the hell…where did that come from?”

“I have no idea, Raf. Guess he gave up on the candy bar.”

“Well, he’s either writing a letter to Santa to hook his old man up or he’s writing a letter to child services.”

“Jeez,” Izzy laughed.

“Papi?”

“Si, Hudson?”

“Why are you 45?”

“Because that’s how old I am.”

“Is that the last number because that’s a lot.”

“What? Abuela is older than me. She’s MY mom!”

“So how old is she?”

“A thousand.”

“Rafael!”

“She’s 65.”

“That’s a lot, too.”

“Yes it is. Why don’t you go find something to do, mijo?”

“Okay.”

“So, other than that, how was your day off?”

“Not bad, really. Yours?”

“Slow. Carisi’s case is strong but I kept watching the jury. It was like Amaro’s dad all over again.”

“Damn.”

“Usually I can get a good read but they can go either way on this. I’m afraid he’s going to charm them into an acquittal.”

“Christ. We had him dead to rights.”

“I know, cariño. I know you can’t watch until you testify but you should see him.”

“He reminded me of Byron Marks when I interrogated him. He was charming, too.”

“Maybe the jury will be able to see past that.”

 

“Downstairs in the den, now. Both of you!” Izzy heard Rafael tell Emersyn and Diego when he had went to tell them dinner was ready one night.

“What’s wrong?”

“Call Dawson and get him over here.”

“Raf…”

“Just do it, please.”

“Okay,” she said as she made her phone call. Antonio arrived 15 minutes later, both of them in the dark. Emersyn and Diego sat the dining room table while Rafael paced in the living room with a glass of whiskey. Whiskey was always saved for when he was upset or stressed. After hearing Dawson arrive, he finished his drink and met them all in the dining room. 

“Emersyn, do you want to tell your mother what I caught the two of you doing?”

She wouldn’t even look at her dad.

“Diego do you want to tell your dad?”

“You need to speak up, Diego,” Antonio told him. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what Rafael caught his daughter and her boyfriend doing.

“We were…we were…”

“They were having sex…under my roof.”

“Seriously, Diego? Have you not brain one in that skull of yours?”

“It wasn’t the first time.”

“Really?!”

“Okay, let’s calm down.”

“That’s easy for you to say, Elizabeth. You put her on birth control basically giving her license to have sex.”

“Rafael that’s enough. Diego, Emersyn go to the living room, please. Let me talk to your fathers.”

They got up and did as Izzy said.

“Okay, we all knew this was coming…”

“Not in my house.”

“Raf, please? Okay, let’s all think back to when we were their age and we started having sex for the first time. Antonio I remember when you lost your virginity to Macy Parker our Sophomore year. Rafael you lost yours to Lauren Sullivan right before you turned 17.”

“So?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Really, Dawson. You can’t come up with your own comeback? All I’m trying to say is, we knew it was going to happen. I’m not thrilled that it was upstairs in my house but it wasn’t in a car or god forbid some skank motel like the Lydia.”

“Izzy’s right,” Barba said through his teeth. “I don’t want them in her room anymore.”

“I agree with Barba. They won’t be in his room at my apartment.”

“Okay, fine. Let’s just not make this any worse than it is.”

“Fine. I mean it though.”

“Okay, Raf. Call them back in here so we can talk about this rationally.”

 

“Izzy will you stop? I’m not in the mood,” Rafael snapped as they laid in bed and she kissed his neck.

“Fine. So sorry,” she said as she rolled over.

“Cariño I’m sorry. I’m just…after today…”

“I get it.”

“We just brought her home from the hospital.”

“That was almost 16 years ago, Rafa. She’s growing up and we’re gonna have to deal with it.”

“But…sex? She’s 15.”

“And a sophomore in high school. She’ll be 16 in 9 months. I mean, I’m not thrilled about this, my mother wasn’t with me but…”

“I know, I know.”

“We can’t exactly lock her up until she goes to college.”

“Why not?”

“It’s going to be fine.”

“Maybe,” he muttered as he wrapped his arms around his wife and laid his head next to hers.

“You have your own pillow.”

“But I like yours,” he laughed.

“You big baby.”

“You love me, though.”

“I don’t understand how some days.”

“Rude!!”

“Yeah, I’m rude. I’m not in the mood,” she mocked her husband.

“How can I be? Speaking of…you know we haven’t used anything in that bag in the closet since you went a little wild a few weeks ago. I should’ve known better than to leave you in that shop with the black Amex alone.”

“We will and yes you should’ve.”

“You’ll pay for it. Don’t worry.”

“I’m counting on it. Now go to sleep. Maybe the jury will be in tomorrow.”

“I can only hope.”


	139. Chapter 139

“Why can’t we stay here if you’re only going to be gone for the day?”

“Emersyn we won’t be back until tomorrow morning and we will be almost 5 hours away. You really think Papi and I are going to leave you in charge of Hudson and Rhiannon with us that far away?”

“It was just an idea.”

“Well maybe if you weren’t worried about doing it with your boyfriend with EVERYBODY in the house, Mami and Papi might trust us a little better.”

“Shut up, Jackson. No one asked you.”

“Your brother has a point,” Rafael said as he came from the closet with the suit he had picked out to wear that night. “Besides, you guys will be fine at Abuela and Papa Dodds’ for the night. They’re looking forward to having all four of you at once. Be glad you still have your grandparents, Emmie.”

“I know, Papi.”

“And I don’t want you texting Diego all night. Spend some time with your grandmother.”

“I will. She always has good stories to tell about you.”

“I’m sure she does. Okay will you two go make sure you have everything you need for the night?”

“Yeah, sure,” the teenagers said as they trailed off to their rooms.

“What about you? Do you have everything you need for the night, Your Honor?”

“I have you. What more do I need?”

“You are still so cheesy.”

“And yet you’ve stuck with me for almost 25 years?”

“I certainly have,” she said with a smile as he leaned down to kiss her.

“Don’t you two ever stop kissing?”

“What do you need, Jackson?”

“Papi, Gil just called and asked if I could come over tonight. He got the latest Call of Duty and asked if I wanted to play?”

“No. You’re going to Abuela’s. End of story. Maybe next weekend but you can take your XBOX with you.”

“But I don’t have the latest Call of Duty.”

“Ugh, fine. Maybe you can talk Papa Dodds into taking you to get it,” he said as he pulled a $100 out of his wallet.

“Whoa! $100?!”

“I want my change! In fact, you’ll give it to your grandfather so I make sure I get it.”

“Thanks, Papi.” 

“Isn’t Gil a Junior in High School?”

“Yes, but he sees Jackson like a little brother, Raf. They both like video games.”

“Okay, that’s probably Mami,” he said after hearing the doorbell ring. “What time is your brother and Erin supposed to be here?”

“They were dropping Arianna at Mom and Dad’s and would be here after.”

“Okay.”

Izzy went to get Rhiannon and Hudson to give to her mother in law. Once Lucia was gone with all the kids, they waited for Tony and Erin to arrive. “He’s always late,” Rafael huffed.

“That’s why I told him to be here 30 minutes before we’re actually scheduled to leave, that way he’d be halfway on time. Ah, I bet that’s them.”

 

“Okay, sis, you’re driving.” Tony said as he tossed the keys of the rented Audi Q7.

“What? Why?”

“Because I have a present for your husband.”

“You two are not drinking on the way to Cambridge.”

“We could smoke pot.”

“Hell no! Just because it’s legal now…”

“You’re driving. End of story.”

“You’re lucky you’re married to my best friend.”

“Okay, so there’s their first argument of the day. Are we ready to go?”

“Let’s go, Barba.”

Once the SUV was loaded and they were all buckled, Erin gave Izzy a look and she knew what it meant. If they were splitting the driving, Erin was going to make the guys pay. “And the girlies say I’m pretty fly for a white guy…” Came from the stereo, causing Tony and Rafael both to groan and roll their eyes.

“Way to go, Rossetti. You know we have almost 5 hours of boy bands, shit like this, NWA, and god knows what else in front of us?”

“Here,” he said as he handed his brother in law a flask of scotch. “This should help.”

They were half drunk half way into their trip for the guys 20th law school reunion. Izzy and Erin just kept listening to the 90s playlist Erin had made for the trip. “If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight/it’s none of your business…”

“Glad to see they haven’t changed in 20 years,” Rafael laughed.

 

Holy shit, Rafael Barba.”

“Ted how are you?”

“I’m good. Izzy, nice to see you. It’s been years. I think since your wedding. That was…almost 18 years ago. Damn. I can’t believe you guys have been married that long. I saw on Facebook you guys have 4 kids now?”

“Yeah, we adopted our youngest last year,” Rafael said as he showed Ted a picture of the kids. 

“They’re beautiful, guys. Is your brother here?”

“Yeah, him and Erin are somewhere,” Izzy laughed.

“Erin? Erin Lindsay? Really?”

“Yeah. They’ve been married about two years.”

“Took them long enough,” Ted laughed.

They mingled among the Harvard law school classes of 1960, 1970, 1980, 1990, and 2000 for a little bit before Tony and Erin found them.

“What do you guys say we head over to the Tipsy Cow?”

“Seriously? How old are we?”

“Come on, Barba. That’s the place you two first kissed. Are you telling me you don’t want to relive some old memories?”

“Fine. Mi amor?”

“Sure. Why not?”

They walked into the bar they used to frequent throughout college. Everything looked the same for the most part, including the same bartender behind the bar. “Holy shit! I know I am not seeing Tony Rossetti and his sister in here.”

“Hey, Bobby,” Tony laughed as he hugged the owner/bartender.

“How are you guys? Damn, seems like old times seeing the four of you in here. What can I get you?”

“Four glasses of your best scotch.”

“You got it, kids.”

Bobby had inherited the place from his dad when he was in his mid-30s; while Rafael, Tony, Izzy, and Erin were in their 20s. 

They enjoyed a few drinks and memories. Rafael had gotten up to go to the bathroom but had been gone a while so Izzy got up to go find him. There he was, standing at the end of the bar like she had been in 95 when he “saved” her from that guy trying to drug her. “I thought you’d find me here,” he said with that smirk as he handed her a martini.

“Raf, you’ve been avoiding me.”

“Cariño…you’ve been avoiding me, too,” he said as he remember that conversation from December 95. “You know I’ve liked you since before school started.”

“But you were such a jerk to me,” she said with a playful grin.

“I was trying to disarm you. I know…”

He didn’t finish his sentence as his wife grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. His hands made their way down her back before the left one grabbed her ass. “You want to go to back your room?”

“Don’t think that…”

“Nunca, cariño. We can just hang out.”

 

An Uber arrived as they left Tony and Erin at the bar. “Close your eyes, mi vida,” Rafael whispered as he kissed her neck. She felt the car stop and Rafael led her out. “Okay, open.”

“Oh my god. What…”

“I made some calls and your old dorm room is actually vacant this year.”

“Really?”

“Come on,” he smiled as he took his wife’s hand and led her into Pennypacker Hall, to the fifth floor, room 507. They walked in. While the room had been more modernized, it was still her first dorm at Harvard.

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“There is still the dent we made with my headboard,” Izzy laughed looking at the wall her old bed used to sit against. “Oh wow. Look!”

“What is it, mi amor?”

“Under the bed. Where we marked every time we did it.” They both just died laughing at seeing that. Rafael actually took the time to count them. 

“We fucked 107 times in this bed. Want to go for 108?”

“Really, Raf?”

“I had everything cleaned once I found out this room was unoccupied.”

“Oh, well then…” she said as she got up and took off her shirt. “Something catch your eye…Your Honor?”

“You are looking for trouble…Sergeant.” It was like their very first time all over again. His arm took her left leg and held it up as he pushed into her.

“Hmmm, Rafa…” she moaned as he slowly moved in and out of her, stretching her open like he always did.

“You like that, bebita?” He asked just like he did their first time.

“Yes, Raf. Just like that. You…are…so…big. Keep going.”

It was about 20-30 minutes before he came inside her, two of her own orgasms had covered his thick, long cock.

“Fuck,” he chuckled once he pulled out of his wife and laid beside her.

“Still…amazing…Rafa,” she responded as she caught her breath.

“Thank you, my love,” he said as pushed her sweaty, blond bangs away from her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Rafa.”

 

“Okay, you guys please behave for your Uncle Nick and Aunt Amanda.”

“Mami stop worrying. We’re always good for them.”

“Emersyn…”

“Yes, I know. Don’t be texting Diego all night. Zara and I have plans.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. Facials, makeovers, etc.”

“Okay. Well Aunt Amanda is in the building,” Izzy said looking at her phone.

Once Amanda showed up to get Emersyn and Jack, Izzy went back to cleaning while Rafael sat in his office, trying to decide how he was going to sentence the guy in his latest trial. The man had killed his daughters rapist and Rafael was trying to stop letting the fact that he was the father of two daughters cloud his judgment. 

Izzy was busy cleaning when she noticed it way too quiet downstairs with Hudson and Rhiannon still home. She went into Rafael’s office.

“What’s up, cariño?”

“Uh, where’s Hudson and Rhian?”

“I thought they were with you?”

“Um, no.”

“They’re not in their rooms?”

They went looking for their almost 5 and 3 year old kids. They heard a little noise from the kitchen and walked in to find both of them covered in flour, water had been involved cause Rhiannon some sort of paste like substance in her hair.

“Oh, this is it,” Rafael said as he clutched his chest. “This is the big one. I’m going, Elizabeth.”

“Knock it off, Fred Sanford. Hudson Andrew! Rhiannon Luciana!”

“Que, Mami?”

“Don’t ‘que Mami’ me! What…what the hell was going on in here?”

“I try to make a bolcano like Jack.”

“Hudson, you can’t…you just…”

“Bathroom, now!”

“Papi…”

“Now, Hudson.”

They got the kids cleaned and started working on the kitchen. “Who would show up today?” Rafael snapped. Izzy got off her knees to see who was at the door.

“Ma? What are you doing in the city?”

“I was having lunch with Tony and Erin. I thought I’d stop by here for a little bit.”

“Well, I wish it would’ve been earlier or later for that fact.”

“What’s wrong? You look stressed.”

“I’ll show you,” Izzy said as she led Stella into the kitchen where Rafael was on his knees trying to clean the mess off the floor.

“You and Tony did the same kind of stuff,” Stella laughed.

“It’s not funny, Ma.”

“NONNA!!!!!” Hudson and Rhiannon both screamed as they ran to their grandmother.

“What do you say we give Mami and Papi a break? You guys want to come home with Nonna?”

“Yes!!!!”

“Ma…”

“You two look like you could use a little break.”

“We just went to Massachusetts last weekend.”

“So? We had Arianna but not these two.”

“Are you sure?”

“Elizabeth Michelle you act like your dad and I can’t handle them…”

“I didn’t say that, Ma.”

“We’d be happy to take these babies till tomorrow.” Izzy knew there was no arguing with her mother and helped her pack bags for Hudson and Rhiannon. Once she and Rafael got the kitchen cleaned back up, they took showers themselves. 

 

Rafael was sitting on the couch in his pajamas at 4:00 in the afternoon, reading the New York Ledger. Izzy sat next to him and started kissing his neck and working her way to his earlobe. 

“Izz, I’m not in the mood.”

“I can see you’re pouty…”

“We just had to clean up a huge mess in the kitchen. You really think I want to fuck right now?”

“Okay, fine,” she said quietly as she went to their bedroom. Rafael continued reading his paper until his wife stood in front of him, looking much like Britney Spears from the “Baby One More Time” video.

“Ahem! Papi?”

The paper fell from his hands as he stared at his wife in the very short plaid, pleated skirt. Before he could move, she sat on his lap and started palming his cock through his pj bottoms. It grew quick as he wanted inside of his wife. 

“Uh-huh,” she said as she wiggled her finger side to side in his face.

“Miss Rossetti what did you do to earn yourself a day in detention?”

“Nothing, Principal Barba,” she said as she ran her finger through her pigtails.

“In the bedroom…NOW,” Rafael commanded.

Izzy got into their room and Rafael pushed her onto the bed.

“You’ve been a bad girl, Miss Rossetti.”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Barba. Is there anything I can do to get out of trouble?” 

“On your knees.”

He ran his hand up the skirt lightly. “If you were wearing panties, maybe you wouldn’t be in trouble,” he growled before his hand landed on her ass, hard. “Don’t move.”

She kept herself on her hands and knees while he walked off. She heard him rifling through their closet. He came back with the fur lined paddle she had bought. They hadn’t used anything from the sex shop she had bought because work, kids, life in general was keeping them busy.

He paced slowly in front of her as he tapped the paddle against his hand. “How many times should I smack this against your ass for you being such a bad girl?”

“10?”

“I was thinking 20. Now, if you’ll takes these like a good girl, I MIGHT forgive you. Can you do that?”

“Yes, Mr. Barba.”

“We’ll see. Stand up and bend over.” 

He started off kind of light but got harder each time she moaned as she counted them out loud. “Seems like you’re enjoying this a little too much. Lay down.” She loved when he got bossy like that. He lifted the skirt just enough and looked at her. “Already so wet. Doesn’t seem like you’re taking your punishment seriously,” he remarked as his tongue started in on her clit. He slid two fingers inside of her, crooking them against, causing her legs to tremble. 

“Raf…I’m almost…I’m gonna…”

He stopped and pulled her back off the bed. “You really think I was going to let you come that easy? Bend back over. You have 10 more to go.”

Once he was finished, he pulled his bottoms and boxers down, leaving them pooled around his feet while he thrusted into her so hard she almost fell onto the bed. “Where do you think you’re going?” He said, his voice full of lust and his large hands holding her hips hard enough to cause bruises. He bent down and bit the back of her neck, his movements getting harder and faster as she called his name. “You ready to come, cariño?”

“Yes, please,” she managed to get out. 

“Well, you have my permission now,” he growled in her ear. That was enough to send her over the edge. He pulled out of her and turned her around. “Finish me off.”

She gathered her thoughts and got on her knees. It took maybe 5 minutes for him to shoot his load down her throat. He helped her up and put her back on the bed.

“What came over you?” She asked.

“You wanted to play, didn’t you?”

“I most certainly did. I’ve got to get out of this outfit. I am covered in sweat.”

“Need another shower, mi amor?”

“Maybe. You want to join me?”

“Go start the water and I’ll be right behind you.”


	140. Chapter 140

“You let Lindsay go in Jackson’s room and Diego still can’t…”

“Emersyn we’ve been over this. You know why Diego is not allowed in your room.”

“But Papi it’s not fair.”

“I don’t have to worry about your 14-year-old brother having sex just yet.”

“Ugh!!! Fine!!”

“What was that about?” Izzy asked as she came in from work.

“Lindsay being allowed in Jackson’s room.”

“Still?”

“Of course.”

“Well, maybe if they leave the door open. I had to leave mine open until I was almost 20.”

“Cariño don’t fight me on this.”

“I’m not, babe,” she said with a small laugh. “I’m just saying that I was a sexually active teenaged girl once, too.”

“How could I forget? We didn’t always keep your door open, either. There were a few times when your parents were watching the news or something we’d shut your door and go at it on the carpet between your bed and the wall.”

“Okay. I get it.”

“Look, maybe after she actually turns 16, I’ll consider some changes.”

“That’s all I ask, handsome.”

“So, how was work?”

“I was at Hate Crimes with Mike most of the day, I mean Lieutenant Dodds.”

“Have you given any thought about moving over there?”

“I told Harris I’d think on it.”

“I know you like working with Dawson, Erin, and Amanda but you and Mike made a good team at SVU.”

“Yeah, we did,” she agreed. “I’m still thinking about it. I mean, we work with Hate Crimes all the time so it’s not like I wouldn’t still work with my SVU squad.”

“I’m just saying, you’ve been at SVU for 10 years. A change might be good. You could probably get your Lieutenant’s bars, especially if Mike gets moved up to Captain.”

“I know. I’ll figure it out.”

 

A few days later, Rafael and Izzy were cooking dinner when they heard their two youngest kids screaming something as they came down the stairs.

“What are you two saying?”

“Lindsay was touching Jackson’s pee-pee,” Hudson whispered.

“What the fuck?” Rafael tried to mutter quietly

“Bad word, Papi.”

“I know, princesa. Uh, wha-. I mean, did you…”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Emersyn.”

“Did I hear them right?”

“Go to your room.”

“Ohhhhh…vin...di…cation.”

“Your father said go to your room.”

“Why were you in your brother’s room?”

“I wanted to play XBOX so we went in there.”

“Was the door open?”

“No, we just walked in.”

“Okay, first things first, you remember in this house, we ALWAYS knock when there’s a closed door, right?”

“Yes, Papi,” Rhiannon nodded.

“What’s the other thing, Raf?”

“The other thing is…I think it’s time our son’s girlfriend went home. I need to have a talk with him.”

“I’d say you do before I go up there.”

"You handled Emersyn. I'll handle Jack."

 

Rafael walked upstairs to find his son and his girlfriend sitting on his bed with guilty looks on their faces.

“Lindsay?”

“Yes, sir?”

“I think it’s time you went home.”

“Yes, Mr. Barba. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jack.”

“Okay…explain this to me like I’m an idiot.”

“What do you mean, Papi?”

“What exactly were you doing up here?”

“We were studying…”

“Okay, I’m going to be like your mother and tell you if you’re gonna lie to me, do a better job.”

“We were making out.”

“And?”

“You already know.”

“How long have you been doing stuff like that?”

“Just a few times. It wasn’t…out.”

“Well, your little brother knew what was going on so that part doesn’t matter. Are you doing…other things?”

“No. Nothing,” Jackson replied noticing the look on Rafael’s face that basically said “yeah, right”. “Okay, I mean I’ve went up her shirt once or twice. But nothing more than that, I swear. I don’t even really know what I’m doing.”

“Well that’s the way it is. You don’t know what the hell you’re doing for a while.”

“How old were you when you started…”

“Not much older than you, really. I’m not going to lie to you. Do you have any questions?”

“I don’t know. Maybe,” he shrugged.

“Well, I’m here.”

“I mean, I know we had the small talk when I was 10 but Health class doesn’t really cover anything but how a baby is made basically. How will I know when I’m ready to take another step.”

“Another step? How far are you thinking?”

“Not THAT for a few years. Just other stuff.”

“Ugh, you know what? I’m just fixing to lay it out for you. It’s only a matter of time before I have two sexually active teenagers in my house," he said as leaned against Jackson's desk. "Sex is a totally natural thing, just like masturbation. It feels good, it’s fun but there’s so much more to it. It’s also when you are at your most vulnerable and so is the other person. Women especially. They get that it’s not just about the physical act but about all the emotions that come with it. Men don’t really get that because we’re usually not thinking too much about how it makes us feel inside.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Not really. It can the girl depending on…you know.”

“That’s why Mami…”

“Oh God,” he whispered under his breath as he rubbed his temples. “No. That’s how some women express themselves during the act. Some are more vocal than others but it depends on how their partner is making them feel. You get what I’m saying?”

“I think so. How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

“I was almost 17. A few weeks away. Something else I’m going to beat in your brain, considering the unit your mother works for don’t you dare ever force a girl into doing something she doesn’t want to do. ¿Entiendes?”

He nodded to his father.

“There has to be mutual consent and it goes the same for you. I know there’s girls out there that are ‘fast’, don’t let one pressure you. I had a girlfriend once that tried pressuring me and I eventually broke up with her over it. I wasn’t ready. I mean I didn’t even carry a condom in my wallet. But it turned out she wanted to get pregnant.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. There’s girls out there like that. You don’t remember this, I’m sure but your mother dealt with a case with 5 or 6 girls, freshmen and sophomores if I’m correct, that made a pact to get pregnant and they didn't care by who. One of the girls that was pregnant even had the nerve to tell Mami and Aunt Liv that they were jealous of her.”

“No way.”

“It was one of her first cases at Manhattan SVU. It was pretty rough, too. That’s why I’m telling you not to let a girl pressure you into anything as well.”

“I got it, Papi.”

“Going a long with that, you always, ALWAYS use protection. Some girls could tell you they’re a virgin and turn out they’re not and you could get a disease.”

“Did that happen to you?”

"No, actually it happened to Alex Munoz. He got a gonorrhea from a girl that said she was a virgin when we were Sophomores in high school. When the time comes, if you need me to, I will even go buy them.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. My dad wouldn’t do that for me. Eddie had to do it for me until I got comfortable enough myself.”

“Rafael Barba afraid to buy condoms? You’re lying, Papi.”

“No, I’m really not, Jack,” he chuckled. “Of course, I eventually didn’t have a problem with it. I figured out to go to a pharmacy on the other side of the Bronx.”

“That’s funny.”

“Yeah I guess.”

“You always used them?”

“No. But that was only with Mami. Nobody else. She was on her own birth control but we wanted to be extra careful. Most of the time, we were damn lucky but there was once we weren’t.”

“Really?”

“The Spring of 1997. I was a Senior in college, she was a Sophomore.”

“So, what happened?”

“Your mother had an abortion. I took extra shifts at the library and bookstore to pay for it. We weren’t old enough or mature enough for a baby then. I was 22, she was 20. That wouldn’t have been smart at all. We’d have an almost 24-year-old.”

“I never knew that. You paid for it?”

“Well, it’s not something we like to advertise. And, yes I did because it was just as much my responsibility as it was hers. She didn't get pregnant by herself. Don’t think that’s a method of birth control, though, because it’s not. The emotional toll it can take is terrible.”

“So, you and Mami…”

“We both felt horrible afterwards. It wasn’t regret, really. I’m not sure how to explain it. We just basically laid in her bed in her dorm for three days after and cried about it. I never want you or your sister to feel that.”

“I understand, Papi. I really do.” 

“Is there anything you want to know?”

“I guess not right now, Papi. I mean everything you said pretty much covers it.”

“Okay, if you think of anything, just come to me. I’ll help you as much as I can, short of giving you pointers.”

“Got it,” Jackson laughed. “Thanks, Papi.”

“No problem, mijo. Oh and no more girls in your room,” he said before he walked out of his oldest son's room.

“Are you for real? I’m not even thinking about…”

“Don’t care. Same rules as your sister apply. You got caught, trust is gone. I don’t care what you were doing.”

“Fine,” Jackson replied as he rolled his eyes, looking just like his father.


	141. Chapter 141

“You seriously thinking about going to Hate Crimes, Izz?”

“I don’t know, Fin,” she answered as she sat at her desk with her feet on it. “I mean, I’m just thinking about it.”

“We all know your Rabbi is overseeing it and he’s the one that asked you.”

“So? The Unit hasn’t been off the ground, what, 6 months? I haven’t made any decisions yet.”

“You know if you do, Liv is gonna make me take the Sergeant’s exam and I have no interest in supervising this riff-raff.”

“Who? Us?”

“No, Dawson. Brooklyn Homicide,” Fin retorted as he rolled his eyes.

“Like you couldn’t do it, Fin.”

“No, I can do it. I just don’t want to.”

“You can’t leave us, Izz. Come on.”

“Dawson I said I’m just thinking about it. Can we just drop it for now until I make a decision?”

“Fine,” Dawson said as he threw his hands up.

“Ok, I’m heading out. I got to meet my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law.”

“They’re finally meeting after all this time?”

“Sarah works a lot. Plus, this is hard for both of them. She didn’t know she was adopted until her parents died a year ago and she’s my age.”

“Will you guys ever tell Rhiannon?”

“One day, Fin. When she’s old enough to understand, we’re gonna tell her the truth.”

“Well, have fun, Sergeant.”

 

“Sarah! Sorry, I’m late.”

“It’s fine, Izzy. I understand. So, do you think she’s in there?”

“She text me and told me she was.”

“And I’ve been standing out here, making her wait…”

“Calm down. It’s going to be fine. You’ll love Lucia. Trust me. Come on,” she said as she opened the door to the restaurant they were meeting Lucia at.

“Izzy!” Lucia called as she waved them over to a table. “I hope it’s okay, I took the liberty of ordering your favorite scotch.”

“Thanks, Mami. Lucia Dodds, this is Sarah Russo, your daughter.”

“You are…more beautiful than I could’ve ever imagined. Oh, I’m sorry,” Lucia said after she had pulled her in for a hug without thinking.

“It’s fine,” Sarah smiled. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Okay, sit down, girls,” Lucia said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

Lucia and Sarah began to get acquainted during dinner. They exchanged numbers and hugged before Lucia headed home to Chief Dodds. 

“See? That wasn’t so bad,” Izzy teased.

“She’s nice,” Sarah agreed. “So, there’s something I need to ask you. I feel silly but…”

“Just ask me, Sarah.”

“Do you know any decent single guys?”

“Uh, I might. Not having any luck?”

“God no. I went to one of those speed-dating things, there was two guys that I left my number for. One is in the middle of a messy divorce, the other turned out to have a weird fetish.”

“Really?”

“He wanted me to lead around by a leash like he was a dog.”

“Oh my god, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

“No! I swear I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear.”

“I’ll have to think about it and of course, run it by your brother. I can think of a couple though.”

“I’m not looking to settle down or anything. I just want someone normal. If there is such a thing.”

“Not in New York. I wouldn’t even consider your brother ‘normal’ but he’s not into weird shit sexually.”

“TMI.”

“Sorry just making a point, ha ha.”

“Maybe I just need to get laid. No dinner, no movie, no Broadway show. I just need to get pounded.”

“Wow,” Izzy laughed. “I think I would agree with you by the inflection in your voice. Let me see what I can do.”

 

“Sergeant to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Got some files for you, Stone.”

“Thanks. I needed these yesterday.”

“Couldn’t give you what I didn’t have,” she shrugged.

“I know. Is this everything?”

“Everything we’ve gotten so far. Benson and Lindsay were out when I left so they might come up with more.”

“I’ll do what I can with what I have for the moment. Thanks for getting these to me, though.”

“Yeah sure. Hey, Stone? Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Uh, sure. What’s up?”

“Are you dating anybody?”

“Not at the moment. You keep me up to my ass in cases, kind of hard. Why do you ask?”

“I have a friend that is single.”

“Who? Rollins is married to Amaro, Erin to your brother, and Liv is with Cassidy.”

“I have other friends, Stone.”

He just kind of looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

“Okay, not many. She’s an Oncologist at Mercy, divorced, she has a 15-year-old daughter. She’s very sweet and very pretty.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She’s only lived in New York about a year.”

“Got a picture?”

Izzy opened her Facebook to show him a picture of her sister-in-law.

“Why is she with your husband?”

“Because…it’s his sister.”

“I see. You really think he’d be okay with that? I mean, he didn’t like me being around you. How would he feel if I went out with his sister?”

“If you’re interested and you guys magically hit it off, I’ll handle him.”

“Well, what is she looking for?”

“Well, not to get married anytime soon.”

“Hmm. Okay. Give me her number.”

Izzy sent the text to his phone. 

“Okay, I’ll give her a call or should I text or should I go to Mercy…”

“Just give her a call, Stone.”

 

“So, what have you decided?”

“Harris, look with Benson on vacation and me taking command of SVU, I can’t make this decision right now.”

“I’m telling you, Izz, this would be a good step for you. It won’t be long before Dodds makes Captain, you’d be able to move up. You should be the one running a Unit and on their way to making Captain anyways.”

“Yeah but you know I have that temper.”

“I’ve saved your ass more than enough. Trust me, I haven’t forgotten. What does Barba say?”

“He tells me it’s my decision. You just approached me with this right at Thanksgiving. It’s almost Christmas and Hudson just turned 5…”

“Enough excuses, Sergeant. You have until 5 pm on January 3rd, 2021 to give me your answer. Otherwise, I’ll move on to someone else.”

“I got it, Steven. I’ll give you my decision then.”

“Two weeks, Sergeant.”

“I know when January 3rd is, jeez.”

“Look, I know you and Dodds almost single-handedly brought down that Catholic church a few years ago. Not to mention, Lane Baker, the Alvin Gilbert case.”

“I’m thinking. I’ll call you.”

“No. I want your answer in person.”

“Copy that, Chief.”


	142. Chapter 142

“Who is texting you?” Izzy asked Rafael as they laid on the couch watching TV.

“Your daughter.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. Look at this: Papi there’s a spider outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it?”

“No, she didn’t.”

“Wait. ‘Please hurry. I’m about to cry. Papi? Papi?’ Here, watch this,” he grinned as he text back “Papi is dead. You’re next. Love, Spider.”

“You are terrible,” Izzy laughed.

They started hearing Emersyn banging on the bathroom door. “Ugh, I guess I’ll go kill it. It’s probably ran off from her banging by now,” he laughed as he rolled his eyes. “15 years old and can have sex but can’t kill a spider,” he muttered as he trekked up the stairs.

“Did you vanquish the beast?” Izzy laughed once her husband sat back next to her on the couch.

“Yes. I remember her picking up a snake at that petting zoo when she was 7 but spiders have always been her kryptonite.”

“I know it. Rhiannon on the other hand will pick up anything that crawls or slithers. Yuck!!”

“She was awfully quick to catch that lizard at the park.”

“That child is a mess, I know that for sure.”

“Her and Hudson both. I swear, if Emersyn becoming sexually active didn’t kill me, those two surely will.”

“Stop, Rafa. Always so dramatic.”

“I’ll show you dramatic, cariño.”

“Hush. Shit.”

“Who is it?”

“Rollins,” she said as she answered her phone. “No. Yeah. I’ll be down there as soon as I can. You and Fin just get the witnesses statements.”

“Ugh, really,” Rafael whined as Izzy got up off the couch to get her gun out of the wall safe and grab her badge. “We had plans tonight.”

“I will wake you up like I used to in college when I get home if you’re asleep, guapo,” she smiled as she bent down to kiss him.

“You promise?”

“You bet.”

“I’ll make sure to be asleep then,” he replied as he took his bottom lip in his mouth before kissing her again and grabbing her ass tightly.

“Damn, you make me want to call Liv off of vacation when you do that.”

“You better not, cariño.”

“I won’t. I’ll be back, love.”

“Ten cuidado, mi amor. Te amo.”

“I Will be. Love you, too.”

 

“Look, Dodds, this is a hate crime. There’s no way around it.”

“And SVU doesn’t work those anymore, Sergeant?”

“Yes, we do but your unit is more equipped for this. That is per your father, Lieutenant,” Izzy said as she stressed Mike’s new title.

“Fine. Give me what you got,” Mike barked as he snatched the file out of Izzy’s hand before he stormed out of Liv’s office where Izzy had parked herself during Benson’s extended vacation.

“What was that about,” Fin asked as he walked into the office.

“He’s pissed because Chief Dodds said to pass this to Hate Crimes.”

“And you listened?”

“Come on, Fin. I do obey my superiors from time to time.”

“Since when?” He laughed.

“Not often but occasionally. I wasn’t happy about this either but Dodds insisted we pass it along.”

“I’d hate to be at the Dodds-Barba Christmas dinner.”

“Funny and you will be there.”

“Not till later,” Fin laughed. “Is Barba’s sister going to be there?”

“Yes. You did tell Ken and Alejandro they could come, right?”

“Yes. As far as I know they will be there with Jayden in tow. I think Melinda’s daughter is coming, too.”

“I haven’t seen Alicia in years. How is she?”

“She’ll graduate from Howard in the spring.”

“So, is she going to follow her in mother’s footsteps?”

“That’s what she says. She applied at Columbia and Cornell, I know for sure.”

“Are you ever going to make an honest woman out of Melinda?”

“Maybe one day,” he shrugged. “We’re enjoying what we’ve got going now.”

“I got you. Okay. It’s 3 in the morning. What do you say we get out of here?”

“Right behind you, shorty.”

 

Izzy got home and found Rafael sound asleep in their bed. She took off her clothes and put on one of her husband’s old Harvard t-shirts. Sure, she had several of her own, but she loved his.

“Hmm, god damn,” Rafael moaned, still almost asleep. Izzy had made a promise and she was going to keep it. She had taken his full length in her mouth as her head bobbed up and down. “Just like that,” he said as he started to wake up and run his hand through her hair. She ran her the tip of her tongue along his length, causing him to shiver. “I’m so close, baby. Keep…going,” he panted. “Yes. Oh my god. I’m gonna…I’m…” he stuttered as he came in her mouth. Izzy crawled out from under the covers and went to the head of their bed.

“I promised you, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did,” he smiled. “What time is it?”

“Almost 4 in the morning.” 

“Well, I’m not going back to sleep now.”

“Well I am,” she laughed.

“Oh no, ma’am you are not.”

“What do you mean?”

“You got me off. It’s my turn to repay you.”

“You don’t have to, love.”

“When have I ever left you unfulfilled?”

“Hmm, once or twice but not on purpose.”

“Well, this is not going to be one of those nights…well, mornings,” he said with that smirk as he crawled under the covers. Her panties came off while he kissed the inside of her thighs before licking a long strip between her lips and sticking his tongue inside of her.

“Oh god, Rafa,” she moaned as he went at her, hungrily. “Fuck, right…there.” One mind blowing orgasm later, he came back up from under the covers, his face covered in her release. He took off her shirt and positioned himself between her legs, his cock already throbbing as he teased her opening with the head before he pushed his cock inside of his wife. “Hmm, yes, god!”

“Shh, cariño. We don’t want to wake the kids.”

She did her best to keep quiet but his dick always made it so hard, it always had, no matter how hard she tried. She bit her bottom lip to try and keep from moaning his name. Her nails dug into his back as he drove her to not one but two more orgasms. He filled her up to the point his cum leaked out of her and he readily watched as it did. “That is so fucking hot,” he growled.

“You are such a nasty boy,” she laughed.

“You made me that way, mi amor,” he smiled as he kissed her hard and deep. “Why don’t you get some sleep?”

“The kids will be up in a little over an hour.”

“I can handle them. Get some sleep, mi todo.”

“Si, Papi. Te amo.”

“Yo también te quiero. Descansa un poco (I love you, too. Get some rest).”

 

“Mami! Papi! Wake up!!”

“We’re up, Rhian.”

“Papi, Santa came!!!”

“Okay, Hudson. We’ll be in there in just a minute. Go make sure Jack and Emersyn are up. DO NOT open anything until me and Mami get in there.”

“Okay, Papi. Come on, Rhian.”

“No. Me stay with Papi.”

“Come on, Rhian,” Hudson pleaded.

“No. Me stay here, Hudson.”

“Hudson go get your brother and sister up. Rhian is fine right here,” Rafael told his youngest son.

“Okay,” he said as he ran back upstairs.

“Princesa are you ready to see what Santa brought you?”

“Si, Papi.”

“Okay. Give me and Mami a minute. Okay?”

“Okay,” she said as she climbed off her parents bed and took off toward the living room.

“You better get her before she starts opening presents,” Izzy laughed.

“Will you start the coffee?”

“Of course, baby. Come on. Let’s go.”

Emersyn was surprised she got the latest iPhone, plus a Prada purse she had been begging her mother for, along with other things, Jackson got the latest XBOX and a few games, clothes, a new baseball bat. Hudson and Rhiannon got all kinds of toys.

“Well, they all seem happy,” Rafael laughed as he drank his coffee while they watched their kids open and show off their presents.

“Yes, they do.”

“Did you like your presents?”

“Yes, I did, Raf but that one I couldn’t show the kids,” she chuckled referring to the very expensive lingerie her husband had bought her.

“Well, if we ever get around to using that one toy you bought, I want you wearing that,” he whispered in her ear.

“Point taken, Mr. Barba.”

“Sometime soon, maybe?”

“A little antsy?”

“It’s been sitting in our closet for almost 4 months. I know you want to use it.”

“Soon, baby,” she whispered.


	143. Chapter 143

“Carisi it’s just a prostate exam,” Rafael said as he rolled his eyes. “You’re 40. You need to have it done.”

“Quit being a baby,” Fin laughed. “I’m in my 50s and had to have a colonoscopy so I don’t want to hear your whining. We’ve all had the prostate exam.”

“Fin’s right. Just go and get it over with,” Brian added. “Stop being such a wuss.”

“I know but I’m not having any problems.”

“Yet,” Nick and Rafael said in unison.

“What if the doctor goes in there and finds something.”

“Oh my god,” Cassidy chuckled. “Wouldn’t you want to know?”

“I guess. When did I turn 40?”

“I just turned 46, Carisi so shut up. Anyways, like I was saying before we got sidetracked. I go to the doctor last week,” Rafael started, “so he’s asking me all these questions because I’m pushing 50 basically. Asks if I’m having any problems in the bedroom. I thought for a minute, my thought is interrupted when he asks if I’m showing any sings of erectile dysfunction. I almost said ‘would you if you saw my wife’ but…BUT I kept the thought to myself and told him no, everything was just fine. I’m walking home after I get my prescriptions and I started thinking.”

“Here he goes,” Nick laughed.

“And I’m thinking as I’m walking about these drugs they give us. I have my blood pressure medicines, my anxiety meds, my cholesterol med and so forth. But is there one drug that slows the effects of aging, keeps your organs intact as you get older, no! Do they make a drug to ease you into your golden years? Uh-huh. They do, however, have a drug to make you harder than Chinese algebra.”

Fin choked on his beer. “God dammit, Barba, warn me before you say some shit like that next time.”

“Did you get some Viagra?”

“For what, Cassidy? I don’t need it. Yeah, it would be exciting to go for an hour and a half like I could in my 20s but my wife would be like, ‘uh-huh, not happening’.”

“What are you guys doing up here?”

“We’re just having a drink, Carmen,” Sonny told his pregnant wife with a wink and a smile.

“I’m sure you are, Dominick. Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Happy New Years,” Nick laughed. “Where’s Mike and Alice?”

“Her brother is in town so they’re spending New Year’s Eve with him.”

“So, what’s this big announcement?”

“I guess we’ll have to get downstairs so we can find out, Cassidy.”

“Come on, Barba.”

“I can’t say anything. I mean I would but my wife lets me have sex with her so it’s kind of a no-brainer. Look who finally made it,” he said as Tony met them coming out of his brother in law’s home office.

“I have a kid…”

“I have 4 and I’m still on time everywhere.”

“Because you and my sister are anal Annie’s.”

“Real mature, Tony.”

 

“Okay, Izzy enough with the suspense,” Rollins said as they sat around the dining room table.

“Yeah, you’re driving us crazy.”

“Okay, Liv. Everyone knows that I have been asked to move to the new Hate Crimes unit. Chief Harris wants my decision in 3 days. I’ve thought long and hard about this. January 3rd will be my last day at SVU.”

“You can’t, Izz. It won’t be the same.”

“Fin I’ll only be 4 blocks away. SVU and HCU work together all the time so we’ll still be able to cause problems.”

“I…I’m…are you sure about this?”

“Yes, Liv. Mike is taking the Captains exam and I’ve been short listed for the Lieutenants exam.”

“You always said you were fine staying at your rank.”

“I know, Erin but I have a chance to move up so I’m gonna take it.”

“What are we going to do without you,” Amanda asked with tears in her eyes.

“I’m not retiring. I’m just changing units. Between Brooklyn and Manhattan, I’ve been in SVU most of my career. Sometimes, you got to change things up.”

“You know what that means, Fin?”

“Yeah, Olivia, I know what that means. Thanks, Izz.”

“Eh, you can do it, Fin,” Carisi added. “While we’re on the subject, I am actually going to be handling HCU’s cases, instead of Stone.”

“You think you can handle it?”

“Nick we’ve worked those kinds of cases in SVU. That prepared me, I think.”

“Wow, all kinds of changes,” Benson laughed.

“There’s one more and I wasn’t going to say anything since he’s not here but he asked me to. Dawson is moving to Hate Crimes as well.”

“Is he going to be the Sergeant?” Melinda joked.

“God, I hope not,” Fin retorted.

“Speaking of Stone…”

“Don’t go there, Cassidy,” Barba sneered.

“I just thought maybe him and your sister would be here.”

“He took her and Brittany to Jamaica for the holidays.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Hmm?”

“Uh-oh. Protective big brother coming out.”

“Fuck off, Tony. How would you have felt if I had the reputation Stone has when I started dating your sister?”

“You weren’t exactly perfect, Barba. A different girl every week for a year.”

“What?” Carisi laughed. “No way. Not Barba.”

“Yes Barba. After he split with Yelina, he went wild.”

“He’s exaggerating, Carisi.”

“Okay, I am a little but you know how you were.”

“We’ve all heard how I was before I met your sister but I wasn’t chasing after married women, taking girls back to our dorm two at a time.”

“Yeah, that was you, Tony,” Erin responded.

“Look, my sister’s an adult and she can handle herself but I’d just rather it have been anybody but Stone.”

“So, Carmen, have you guys decided on a name for your son?” Izzy inquired, trying to steer the conversation the other way.

“We’re still kicking around a few, actually. Somebody wants him to continue the Carisi tradition so to speak and make him the third Dominick Carisi.”

“We can call him Trey.”

“Everybody does that, Sonny. I like Mason or Oliver.”

All the other ladies agreed that they liked those names, too.

“Of course, you guys would be on her side,” Carisi muttered as he rolled his eyes.

 

“So, are you going to help or are you too pretty?” Izzy asked Rafael as she placed pictures and various awards around her new office.

“I’m too pretty,” he smirked while he sat in her chair with his feet on her desk. “So, you finally have your own office.”

“Weird, huh?”

“Not a lot of windows looking out to the squad room.”

“Shut up,” she laughed. “Your step-brother is next door.”

“I can be quiet. It’s you that we have to worry about.”

“Aren’t you due back in court?”

“Ugh, yes. God damn Molineux hearing. Buchanan’s lucky I’m even allowing this. How much longer do you think you’ll be here?”

“Not real sure. My first official day isn’t until tomorrow so I’ll probably leave in a little bit, unless Harris gets wind of me being in the building,” she said as she rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be like that. You know you’ve always been his favorite,” her husband teased.

“Get back to work.”

“I’m going. I’ll see you at home.”

“No kiss?”

“You’re running me out of your office. I don’t think you deserve one.”

“Fine. Whatever.”

“Oh, come here, mi amor, I’m just teasing.”

“Nope. Nuh-uh. Go back to the courthouse, where you belong.”

“That’s not where I belong,” he smiled before he took his wife in his arms to kiss her.

“Okay. Go on. Don’t make Buchanan wait. He might miss his after lunch snack.”

 

Their front door slammed hard enough to knock a picture off the wall.

“Hey, you okay?” Rafael asked Izzy as she unloaded and put her gun in the safe by the door.

“What the fuck was I thinking leaving SVU?”

“What happened?”

“Your fucking step-brother. I don’t know what his god damn problem is. He’s the one that brought my name up to Harris to run the department with him and then he wants to question my methods, my work? Fuck that! We know the girl was targeted because she’s Muslim, we have the DNA, even traffic cam of her being grabbed…”

“Calm down.”

“Easy for you to say. He’s not your commanding officer/brother-in-law.”

“Well, you knew going over there, this wasn’t going to be like SVU. I know you guys are close but he is your boss now.”

“Yeah, I got it.”

“Don’t come home and take your frustrations with your commanding officer out on me just because he’s my step-brother.”

“Are you kidding me with this right now?”

“No. When do I that?”

“All the time! You have for years!”

“The only reason why you’re doing it now is because of my relationship to Mike. I’m not getting in the middle of this.”

“No, I was venting about my job to my husband and in case you forgot, Rafael, I’m a big girl. I can handle my own problems. I’ve never needed you to solve them for me.”

“I didn’t mean it…” he couldn’t even finish before she walked off. “Why did I have to open my mouth,” he muttered as he poured himself another drink before going to the bedroom. All the kids were gone for the night so if the argument was going to continue, at least they wouldn’t hear it.


	144. Chapter 144

“Babe?”

“What?”

“What do you need me to do?” He asked trying to diffuse the situation before it escalated.

She came out of their bathroom wearing only her short black silk robe, walked up, and backed him to the wall. “I need you to get your clothes off, shut the fuck up, and let me take control for once.”

“Uh…um…yeah…okay,” he managed to get out, taken aback by his wife’s forcefulness. He did what she said. “Now what?”

“On the bed and I’ll be right back,” she smirked as her fingers “walked” up his chest to his lips. He had no idea what she up to but it was obvious she was going to take her frustrations out on him; he had no objections however. 

“You always like to run that mouth and it always gets you in trouble, Papi,” she remarked as she came back with the same paddle he used on her.

“What are you doing with that?”

“Did I say you could ask questions?”

“No.”

“Then don’t or your punishment is going to be even worse.”

She was a little nicer than he was to her. “Is ten enough?” She asked once she finished.

“Yes, Mami.”

“Are you sure? I don’t think you have learned your lesson. Do you?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm. 5 more should do the trick.”

“Fuck!” He cried out after she finished.

“On your back,” she commanded. “Now, give me your wrists.”

“These aren’t your…”

“What did I say about speaking,” she asked before she bit down on his neck and the slapped the fur-lined cuffs on him. Then she brought out a blindfold. She could tell he was wondering what she had planned. “Are you scared, Rafael?”

“No,” he gulped.

“Good. You have no reason to be. Mami is just having some fun.”

“It’s…uh…fine.”

“Good boy. I’m going to put this on you but I won’t make you wear it the whole time. I promise.”

He just nodded as he bit his bottom lip. He felt her get off of him and the bed. His anticipation was growing every second she was gone. Then he felt her hands on his cock but not like she was going to start stroking him. He felt something around the base of his dick then felt as his wife lowered herself onto it. All of a sudden a vibration hit him that he caused him to moan loudly. She grabbed his hair as she rode him, all while keeping him blindfolded and handcuffed. “Oh god, you feel so good.”

“You like that, Papi?”

“Fuck yes. Can I…”

“Can you what?”

“Can I see you?”

She stopped for a minute and took the blindfold off. His eyes rolled in the back of his head as he looked at his wife. The robe was still on but opened, exposing every inch of her. His hands her bound but they could still travel to her tits as he took one in his hand until she grabbed it and sucked his long index finger, driving him insane. The vibration of the cock ring was almost more than they could stand as they both came at the same time. She collapsed onto him as they caught their breaths. She took the cuffs off of him before rolling over to her pillow.

“You can get mad at Dodds anytime,” Rafael finally laughed.

 

“Hey Sergeant, you got a minute?”

“Sure, Mike. Have a seat.”

“It’s come to my attention that maybe I’ve been a little harder on you than Dawson, Dunbar, or Holliday.”

“Did your brother…”

“No, actually, it was yours.”

“Mine?”

“Well, your closest brother in blue should I say.”

“That could be you or Amaro even…”

“Dawson.”

“Oh.”

“He seems to look out for you.”

“Well, he is my oldest friend.”

“I guess I’ve been doing it subconsciously, you know? You’re one of my closest friends, not to mention my sister-in-law so maybe I’m afraid of being accused nepotism. I’m still being watched since this is the first time for me to actually oversee a department.”

“Yeah, I know, Mike.”

“You’re a damn good cop, best second in command I could’ve asked for.”

“Well, you did ask for me.”

“True. I’ll try not to be so hard on you from now on. Oh, we’re getting a new detective in a couple of days.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah. Harris hasn’t told me a lot about them. Just that he or she is a well-seasoned detective.”

“Good. Dawson and Dunbar can’t keep doing it all themselves,” Izzy laughed.

“You could get out of the office once in a while, Sergeant.”

“I can’t. I get in trouble when I do.”

“Come on, Izz.”

“We’re good, Mike.”

“Good. So, you ready for the Lieutenant’s exam?”

“Nope. You ready for the Captain’s?”

“Not in the least bit,” her brother in law laughed. “Surely we’ll pass.”

“Well, if the Lieutenant’s exam is anything like the Sergeant’s exam, I think I’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, you will. Most of it is more pointless questions.”

 

“Thank you guys for this, so much.”

“No problem, Amanda. You guys have watched our kids for us.”

“Nick and I really need this weekend away.”

“I totally understand. You guys have fun.”

“Okay. We’ll be back Sunday morning. Remember, Jesse needs her allergy medicine, Zara…”

“Rollins we’ve got it,” Izzy laughed. “Just go! Go have wild monkey sex all weekend.”

“You know me too well,” Rollins giggled. “Thanks again!”

“Okay, Aiden is busy with Rhian and Jesse is with Hudson,” Rafael said as he came in the kitchen. “What are you making, mi amor?”

“What does it look like?”

“I’m going to say spaghetti.”

“Exactly. Aiden and Jesse love it, plus I haven’t made it in a while.”

“You need some help?”

“I think I’ve got it. Thank you, though.”

“No problem, mi vida. What were we thinking, taking on 8 kids this weekend?”

“They’ve done it for us.”

“Well, maybe they need to do it again sometime.”

“For?”

“We still have one more thing that hasn’t been used.”

“You’re really wanting to try that, huh?”

“I’m more nervous honestly.”

“Nervous good or nervous bad?”

“A cross between, I guess.”

“Whenever we do use that, I promise to take it easy on you.”

“Well, thank you, mi amor,” he smiled as he took a bite of an apple and kissed her. “You know how much I love you?”

“Hmm, no. Tell me.”

“Whenever I hold your face in my hands, I’m holding my whole world.”

“Rafa…”

“What?”

“You are so…fluffy sometimes,” Izzy said with a smile.

“You’ve always brought it out of me. 25 years now.”

“Can’t believe we are in our 26th year.”

“And I love you more and more every day.”

“Stop.”

“I do. No one ever touched me, emotionally, the way you have. Well, and physically, too.”

“Raf!!!” She laughed as she threw a handful of tomato “remnants” at him.

“Hey!! That’s not fair!!” He exclaimed as he grabbed some of the insides of another tomato and smashed into her hair.

“I’m trying to cook dinner, fucker!”

“So?”

More tomato insides ended up all over the two of them as they laughed.

“OMG you guys are so weird.”

“I think you mean ‘oh my god’, Emersyn.”

“Whatever, Papi. Can Diego come over for dinner?”

“Sure,” Rafael said without thinking. Not that they were keeping Diego and Emersyn apart, just out of her bedroom.

“Okay. Can you guys please take showers before dinner?”

“So sorry, ma’am,” Izzy laughed.

“So strange,” Emersyn remarked as she walked back out of the kitchen.


	145. Chapter 145

Izzy walked into their apartment around 6am one morning at the end of February, exhausted. She and Dawson had just pulled an 18 hour shift due to their latest case. Doom had stayed with them until Izzy finally sent him home. After the shooting of Terrance Reynolds almost 6 years priors, Barba made a deal with him that allowed to plead to a misdemeanor meaning he could keep his job. However, he had been stripped of his detective shield, and busted down to working nights at the Queens courthouse. Harris finally gave him a chance to get out of uniform and back in a “specialized” department, with the possibility of getting his shield back. 

She could hear Rafael getting the kids up and started the coffee & breakfast. “Hola, mi amor.”

“Hey,” she yawned.

“Why don’t you let me finish breakfast and you go get in the tub?”

“No, babe, I got it,” she replied as she waved him off. “You need to finish getting ready for work anyways.”

“Okay. I’ll at least make sure the kids are getting around and finish getting the little ones ready for school.”

“Thank you, love.”

“Jeez, Mami, you look tired.”

“Thanks, Emersyn. Just tell me I look like shit next time,” she snapped at her daughter.

“Babe.”

“Sorry. I’m very tired.”

“What time did you get home?”

“30 minutes ago.”

“Damn.”

“Emersyn!”

“I just said damn. It’s not like I dropped the f-bomb you and Mami love so much.”

“Go eat your breakfast before Diego gets here.”

“Okay, Papi. Oh, you guys remember I’m going over there to study after school, right?”

“Yeah, we know. Don’t be giving Dawson any hell while you’re there. He was working right alongside me all night.”

"Of course, Mami."

“So, what are you going to do today?”

“Sleep, Raf. Just sleep. Unless Mike calls.”

“How bad is this case?”

“Remember Matthew Shepard?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“Just as bad, if not worse.”

“Jesus. What year is it, again?”

“I know but Trump did so much damage in the 4 years he was in office. I don’t know if Booker will ever be able to halfway undo it. I really hope he can.”

“He’s only been in office a month.”

“I know. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Here, go eat,” she said as she handed him a plate.

“You need to eat, too.”

“I had half a dozen donuts around 5. Don’t laugh. We were hungry and Dawson wasn’t going too far.”

“Okay. I’ll make sure Hudson and Rhian get to school.”

“Let me fix her hair before you guys leave.”

“I think I did a good job.”

“Rafa.”

“I’m serious,” he chuckled. “You need to have more faith in me, cariño.”

She went into the dining room to make sure the kids were eating and to check Rhiannon’s hair.

“See?” He smirked.

“Rhiannon who fixed your hair?”

“Emmie.”

“Thanks a lot, kid,” Rafael laughed as he shook his head.

“She sold you out. Okay, you guys listen to Papi. I am going to bed. Have a good day at school. I love you,” she said as she kissed all of her kids before heading to her bed. 

 

“Hello?” Izzy answered her phone, sleepily, not even paying attention to the caller id.

“Hey. Did I wake you?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry, mi amor.”

“It’s okay. I need to get up anyways. How’s your day going?”

“Okay. I’m done for the day actually. Have you been asleep since I left?”

“Yeah, I have. I need to take a bath.”

“Well why don’t you get in the tub and I’ll bring you something to eat?”

“That sounds good.”

“What do you feel like?”

“I don’t know. Sushi?”

“Sure. Spicy tuna roll?”

“And a California roll, too?”

“Sure, cariño. Okay. I’ll see you in about 30 minutes?”

“Sounds good. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

 

He walked in about 30 minutes later with the food he promised his wife. He found her back asleep in her robe on their bed. He couldn’t help but laugh to himself as he covered her back up and kissed her forehead. 

“Raf?”

“Yeah, it’s me, baby. Go back to sleep.”

“It’s 2:30. I need to get up.”

“You’re obviously tired.”

“And I’m very hungry.”

“Well, I can help you with that,” he chimed as he handed her the brown bag. “No thank you, huh?”

“Thank you,” she replied with her mouth full.

“It’s not all for you, jerk.”

“Hey! I’m the one that worked almost a whole day.”

“So? I haven’t eaten either.”

“And?”

He rolled his eyes as he jerked the bag from between his wife’s legs to get his food.

“What about the kids?”

“Eh, I’ll order them a pizza or something,” he shrugged. “I’m sure Dawson will feed Emersyn anyways.”

 

“Dawson? What are you doing here? Where are the kids?”

“That’s what I was coming to find out, Izz.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been waiting on them to show up for over an hour, so I thought maybe they decided to come over here. I’ve been calling but Diego isn’t answering his phone.”

“Christ. What the hell are they trying to pull? Hang on.” She tried to call her daughter but she was picking up her phone, either.

“Hey, Dawson. You bring the kids home already?”

“No, Barba. They never showed up.”

“What?!”

“You heard him correctly, Raf.”

“Have they lost their minds? We don’t keep them from seeing each other, just from being alone in their rooms. They’re not answering their phones?”

“No. Izzy’s called Emersyn, I’ve called Diego. His phone just rang.”

“So did your daughter’s.”

“Fuck. Now, her phone’s off.”

“So is Diego’s.”

“Izz what’s the matter,” Rafael asked noticing a strange look on his wife’s face.

“They wouldn’t just disappear after school like this. They know we’d track their phones.”

“What are you saying?”

“Dawson you know what I’m saying.”

“I’m calling Liv,” Rafael said as he walked off.

 

“Who are you?”

“Your parents know me very well, princess.”

“What do you want with us?”

“Your father ruined my life. Now, I’m going to ruin his.”

“My mom’s a cop and so is his dad. They’ll find us.”

“Em, don’t goad him,” Diego whispered. He had already been through something like this when he was 8. A drug lord in Chicago, called Pulpo, was arrested and his “henchmen” kidnapped Diego while he was taking out the trash of his mother’s bakery. One of the kidnapper’s actually got Diego on a bus, which Erin was able to board and eventually save him.

“I just want to go home.”

“I know,” he said as he was able to take her finger with his since their hands were zip tied. “Just remember, no matter what, I love you.”

“I love you, too, Diego.”

“Aren’t you two so sweet,” the man mocked. “Young love. Must be nice to have. I’ll never any sort of love thanks to your father and your mother’s unit.”

“Hate Crimes?”

“Oh, your mother finally left SVU? They trick people into confessing to crimes they didn’t do. Your mother and that Lieutenant were the worst. Thanks to my attorney, though, the jury could see them for what they were. You look just like her, you know? Maybe I should change that,” he said as he held a knife to her face. “I could give you a scar right down your cheek…”

“No! Please! If you’re going to do anything, do it to me,” Diego pleaded.

“Poor guy, you’re just collateral damage.”

 

“You have to stand down, Izzy. You, too, Dawson!”

“Like you did when this happened to Noah? I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m not either. Those our kids, Benson. You’ve been through this.”

“What have we found out so far?”

“Chief Dodds.”

“Lieutenant, I asked you a question.”

“The last hits off their phones were near Clinton Park, which is nowhere near Barba or Dawson’s apartment or their high school.”

“I don’t have to remind you how high priority this is. You have a high ranking detective and Judge’s daughter and another detective’s son missing.”

“Yes, I understand that, Chief. We are doing everything we can…”

“Do more so my granddaughter is returned home safely.”

“Yes, sir.”

“No leave, no…”

“Days off until they’re found. Absolutely. Can you possibly talk to your daughter in law and her detective about standing down? They won’t listen to me or Mike.”

“I’ll do what I can. You didn’t follow orders when it came to your son and I couldn’t blame you for that.”

“I know, Chief.”


	146. Chapter 146

“The question isn’t if there are threats, it’s which ones to take seriously,” Rollins said as she, Erin, and Fin were trying to figure out who could have taken Emersyn and Diego.

“Lindsay. I need you in the Lieutenant’s office,” Harris said as he walked in with Mike and Chief Dodds following him. Izzy, Antonio, Liv, and Rafael were already in there. Liv was doing her damndest to assure them they were doing everything in their power to find their kids.

“Chief Harris? Chief and Lieutenant Dodds. Have you found anything?”

“No. I am here with orders from 1PP. Izzy and Antonio you have to stand down, both of you.”

“Chief…”

“Dawson this is a direct order. Do not argue with me about this. Also, Chief, Mike, Erin, you are to stand down, too.”

“I think you forget, I rank higher than you, Harris.”

“If you have a problem with it, you can take it to the Commissioner. This is her daughter, your granddaughter, and their niece and Dawson’s son. No family members of any kind can be allowed anywhere near this. If anyone goes rogue, it’s your ass, not mine. I will not be able to save anyone. Chief while you’ve held your position longer than I have, I am only relaying a message. I’ve called up two investigators from the DAs office to assist us.”

“Who?” Rafael asked.

“Detectives Amaro and Cassidy. Right now, they are going through Barba’s old cases trying to find anyone that would have a grudge against these two.”

Izzy couldn’t take it anymore and walked out of the office. She felt everything was closing in on her and she couldn’t breathe. She had snapped at her daughter that morning in her tired state and even though Emersyn didn’t take it the wrong way, that could’ve been their last conversation.

Rafael found her in the bunkroom, pacing back and forth. “Mi amor?”

“Don’t say it, Rafa. I’ve given the same speech to parents over the years.”

“I know but…”

“And how many times have I been wrong?”

“Don’t think like that. Liv, Fin, Nick, and everyone else is going to get them home.”

“I hope you’re right,” she cried.

“Okay, okay. Shh, I’ve got you.”

 

Not knowing who had their oldest daughter or why, Dodds and Lucia took the younger kids so he could protect them. Also, Rafael and Izzy wanted to explain what was going on to Jack, who broke down in tears that his sister had been taken.

“They’re going to find her and Diego, right?”

“Everyone is doing everything they can, mijo.”

“Why isn’t Mami out there?”

“She can’t be. Neither can Aunt Erin or Uncle Mike or your grandfather even. Chief Harris called in Uncle Nick and Uncle Brian to help in their place, though.”

“I just hope they find them?”

“So do we, Jackson. So do we,” Rafael said as he held his son. Jackson asked to be left alone so Rafael went looking for his wife. He searched all over the house and finally found her behind his desk. “What are you doing in here?”

“I’m looking through some of these old case files. Heredio is still in prison, so is Yelina and Alex, Selena…”

“Okay, you’ve got to stop this.”

“No, I don’t. That is our daughter…”

“I’m aware but you are going to drive yourself crazy.”

“So, I’ll drive myself crazy. I don’t care! I just want her home!!”

“I know! Baby, I know!” He shouted as he took the files out of her hands and grabbed her arms to keep her from hitting him. “Stop! You have to…you have to…stop,” tears finally falling from his eyes as he held her as tightly to him as possible. “They will be found.” 

 

“Em? Emmie? Are you awake?”

“Barely, Diego. My head hurts.”

“I know, baby.”

“Why hasn’t anyone come for us?”

“I’m sure they’re working on it.”

“What if…what if…”

“What if what, princess? Your parents don’t find you? Well, then you’ll suffer the same fate as Hector Rodriquez, I suppose.”

“If you’ll let us go, I swear we won’t give a proper description of you.”

“Do you really think I’m that stupid?!”

“I promise. Just let us go home please.” 

“No. Can’t do that. Sorry, but what I can do is let you stay alive a little longer so the two of you can keep professing your love for each other. It’s just so sweet.”

“Look, let her go and take me,” Diego begged.

“But my problem isn’t with your father. It’s with hers and her mother. They need to pay for what they did to me. Lieutenant Benson and that Detective Carisi or whatever should as well but I’ll take what I can get.”

 

“Chief Harris. I think we might have something.”

“What is it, Fin?”

“Lewis Hodda. He was tried for the murder of Hector Rodriquez around Thanksgiving 2015. Now that case ended in a mistrial since there was no body, no real evidence, just his confession on tape which he later claim Benson and Izzy coerced it. That confession came when he was arrested for kidnapping Wyatt Morris in 2012. Like I said the first trial ended in a mistrial. He was retried, got time served plus 5 years. Not near enough.”

“So, you think he could be behind this?”

“He was paroled 9 months ago. I mean we’ve been going through every possible lead. It makes sense considering most anyone that would hold a grudge against them is still locked up.”

“Yeah and when Hodda was sentenced, he made sure to say he would get revenge on Barba, Benson, and Izzy,” Rollins added.

“Let’s go with it, then.”

“Chief!”

“Carisi. What can I do for you?”

“I was sitting in my office when I got this on my phone.”

“I’d keep an eye on your wife and kids. Did you call the number?”

“Yeah. Nothing. Burner phone obviously.”

“Where’s Carmen and the kids now?”

“I sent them to Staten Island to my parents, Nick.”

“I’m telling you,” Fin replied as he turned back to Harris.

“Doom, Nick, Dunbar, go start running down last knows, find his parole officer. Rollins, Fin go talk to his old roommate at Riker’s. Cassidy, go talk to his defense attorney.”

 

“Maybe that’s somebody with some news,” Rafael said as he went to answer the door. “Antonio. What’s up?” They hadn’t slept at all. Jack had to go to school with a shadow to make sure nothing happened to him. 

“Have you guys heard anything?” He asked, looking worse for the wear himself.

“Nothing. Come on in. We’re on our second pot of coffee.”

“Thanks. I just want him home, you know?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Hey, Izz.”

“Hey, Dawson. I can see you’ve slept about as much as we have. Coffee?”

“Please.”

The three of them sat at the kitchen table, quietly. The silence was deafening. Another pot of coffee consumed, and Rafael’s phone rang. “It’s Benson. Yeah?”

Izzy seemed to block out his end of the conversation, scared that Liv was calling with bad news. “Okay. We’ll be there as soon as possible. Izzy? Izz? Elizabeth?”

“Huh? What?”

“They got them.”

“What? Who? Where?”

“Lewis Hodda.”

“What?”

“Who’s that?”

Rafael half way explained the case to Dawson. “What did he want with Diego?”

“He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person.”

“Where are they?”

“Bellevue. Both have external injuries.”

Izzy didn’t take much time to get dressed.


	147. Chapter 147

“Em?”

“Yeah, Papi?”

“Mami ordered you favorite,” he said as he took the Chinese food on a tray to his daughter as she laid in bed.

“Thanks,” she smiled while she sat up to eat.

“How are you feeling?”

“Sore. My headache’s finally gone. My ribs are killing me.”

“Good and that's to be expected with two cracked. Aunt Sarah is going to come by later and check your stitches.”

“I’m gonna have a scar on my face for the rest of my life, aren’t I?”

“Mami said we can take you to a plastic surgeon in a few days to fix that.”

“Thanks. I want you and Mami to know I don’t blame this on you.”

“We’ll talk about it more later.”

“I know you guys are blaming yourselves.”

“He came after you because of who you are, princesa. He didn’t go after Gil or Zara. Of course, we feel responsible.”

“He was a bad man. Still is. This should get him put away for good now, right?”

“It should. Stone is going to do everything he can to make sure of it.”

“Is Uncle Fin in trouble?”

“No, princesa. He did what he had to do because you guys were in danger and had already been beaten…” he couldn’t finish before tears started filling his eyes. He had tried to be strong once they got her home the night before but he couldn’t bring himself to say what happened to his oldest daughter. “Look, ahem, why don’t you eat and I’ll come check you in a little bit.”

She just nodded. He kissed her on the forehead and left her to eat. Izzy had got the other kids plates fixed and they were sitting down eating. She was cleaning up the take out containers, putting everything up for when Rafael would be ready to eat. He just went into his home office and quietly shut his door. He couldn’t stand to see his daughter bruised and scarred. He was also scared of what this would do for her mental state; what if it threw her into a relapse. “If I could’ve proven the first case in 2015, none of this would’ve happened”, he kept thinking to himself. He picked up the empty scotch glass from the night before off his desk and hurled it against the wall. His hands were shaking as tears constantly fell down his cheeks. 

“Babe?”

“I’m fine,” he barked at his wife. Izzy noticed the shattered glass on his floor. 

“No, you’re not.”

“Just leave me alone, Elizabeth. Please? I don’t ask you for much, just fucking give me that!!”

“Okay.”

“And close my goddamn door!”

 

“Mami?”

“Hey, Em. You okay?”

“Yeah. Could I sleep in here with you?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Where’s Papi?”

“I left him in his home office a couple of hours ago.”

“I heard him yell. I know he feels bad and I know you do, too.”

“You have to understand, when we dealt with this horrible man, he tried to say that Aunt Liv and I coerced his confession, which caused reasonable doubt in the minds of the jury. The second time he went to trial, the murder confession and charge was inadmissible and he didn’t get near the time he should’ve. Maybe if Aunt Liv and I hadn’t pushed, it wouldn’t have looked so bad on video. Papi feels that he could’ve done more to make sure he was locked up.”

“What is it that Papi told me once? Our legal system is the best that there is but it’s not perfect or pure. It never was?”

“That’s what he said. And he was right. It’s still hard, as a man of the law, for him to accept that. Me, too, at times.”

“Still. I think about something else he said when Yelina had him drugged and taken. He came home, looking a lot like me.” 

“What’s that?”

“This will all heal in time.”

“You’re right but I am upping your appointments with Dr. Greenfield to twice a week for a while.”

“That’s fine, Mami.”

“When did you get so grown up,” she said as the 15-year-old cuddle up to her.

“I don’t know. Kind of scary, huh?” Emersyn laughed.

“Just a little bit. So, Aunt Amanda told me that during your statement, you said Diego begged Lewis to do things to him instead of you.”

“Yeah, he did. I love him, you know.”

“I know you do. Seems he feels the same way. Have you talked to him today?”

“Yeah. His shoulder is killing him but it was dislocated. His eye is still swollen shut. His ribs hurt but he had a lot more cracked than me.”

“You guys are both tough. You’re my kid and he’s Dawson’s. You’ve got it in you.”

“I’m part Barba, too.”

“I think that was probably the biggest part of you that kept you strong.”

“You think?”

“You have no idea how strong Papi is. He’s had to be all his life.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He might tell you about it one of these days.”

“What are you two doing?”

“Just laying here talking, Raf. She asked if she could sleep in our bed.”

“Okay,” he answered drunkenly. “I’m gonna get changed.”

“Oh, great. Now we get to hear him snore all night,” Emersyn scoffed. It was no secret when Rafael got drunk, he snored something terrible. Enough to wake up the entire house. Izzy had gotten used to it over their 25 years together for the most part. He practically fell onto his side of the bed after coming back from putting on his pjs.

“Try to get some sleep, Em.”

“Goodnight, Mami. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“I love you, girls, too.”

They both stifled small laughs as he slurred his words.

“We love you, too, Papi. Get some sleep.”

 

“Hey, Izzy.”

“Hey, Stone. What brings you by?”

“Well, Lisa Hassler has removed herself as defense council for Hodda. He is taking a plea. He will plead guilty to two counts of kidnapping, two counts false imprisonment, two counts assault with a deadly weapon, and two counts of child endangerment. He’s gone.”

“Thank you, so much, Stone. You want to come in? Have a drink?”

“Uh, sure. Actually, I wanted to talk to Barba if he’s available.”

“He was in the living room with Emersyn. He’s letting her watch “There’s Something About Mary” of all things,” Izzy laughed.

“Hey, that’s a classic.”

“Well, go on in. Scotch okay?”

“Sounds great.”

“Oh, uh, what about Fin?”

“IAB cleared him. No excessive force charges will be filed. They saw it as Sergeant Tutuola has always kept his cool for the most part so this one time had to have been warranted.”

“Good. He did get Hodda pretty good.”

“Broke his nose and cheekbone.”

“Okay, well, go on. I’ll bring you your drink. My husband probably needs a refill anyways.”

Stone told Rafael and Emersyn what he had just told Izzy about Hodda taking the plea and finally being gone for good. “Emersyn, I know you’re spending time with your father but do you mind if I speak to him alone for just a few minutes?”

“Not at all Mr. Stone,” she smiled. “I need to get online since my World History class will start in 15 minutes anyways.”

“We’ll finish the movie later, princesa. What can I do for you, Stone?”

“You know I’ve been dating your sister for a few months?”

“Yes,” he answered with an eyeroll.

“I know we haven’t always gotten along but I love your sister and your niece. I know you’ve only been in each other’s lives a little over a year but I also know that protective instinct kicked in.”

“What are you wanting, Stone?”

“I’m wanting your permission to marry your sister.”


	148. Chapter 148

“You want to marry my sister?”

“Yes, I do. I love her very much. I never thought I could ever love someone like that.”

“And you’re coming to me why?”

“Well, you are her older brother.”

“But like you said, we haven’t been in each other’s lives for that long.”

“She still cares about your opinion.”

Rafael looked at Peter as he sat in the leather chair nervously. His green eyes narrowed, looking for a sign of hesitation on Stone’s face. “Before I give you my answer, I want you to answer me honestly when I ask you this next question.”

“Yes, sir.”

“At any time, were you trying to or did you want to sleep with my wife?”

Peter sat for a minute. He knew that if he lied, Barba would be able to sniff it out. Sure, he had told him in the past that he had no romantic feelings toward Izzy but he wasn’t being asked the question. Peter took a deep breath before he spoke. “Honestly, I wasn’t actively trying to but had the opportunity presented itself, I wouldn’t have said no.”

“I see.”

“The reason being, well there were several, yes, she’s beautiful. That goes without saying but she was everything I wanted out of a woman. I know she’s foul mouthed, crude, sarcastic but those aren’t exactly bad qualities. It was also I saw how she cares about everyone in her life; from you to your kids, Liv, Nick, Mike, Amanda, Fin, Erin, Dawson, Sonny even. She loves everyone in her life, in different ways, but they all know she loves them without judgement. I mean, she was nice to me when everyone else was still pissed that you moved on. It’s not like I forced you out. You got a promotion, basically but that squad took a long time to warm up to me.”

“Trust me, I get it and I was married to one of them. It took me almost a year, even after they found out Izzy was married to me before they ‘welcomed’ me, so to speak.”

“Barba your sister has all the good qualities that I saw in Izzy that I wanted in someone. Her mouth isn’t near as bad but it’s close.”

“You’d think they were long lost siblings,” Rafael laughed. “Okay. It’s fine with me but there’s someone else you need to talk to.”

“I already have.”

“And?”

“She said I better talk to her uncle.”

“Just take care of them. That’s all I ask.”

“That’s what I intend to do,” Peter replied as he extended his hand, which Rafael took. “Get you another?”

“Sure, future brother in law.”

“Don’t push it, Stone. So, have you thought about how you’re going to do it?”

“A little. How did you propose to Izzy?”

“Technically, I didn’t. We had been discussing for a few years but she was still in law school. She had always said once she got out of law school, then we could take the conversation further. So, I go to Harvard for her graduation. We go eat with her parents, Erin, and Tony, then her parents headed back to Brooklyn while we went to a few parties. We went back to her apartment and well, you know. While she was asleep, I quietly got out of bed, got the ring and slipped it on her finger. The next morning, she woke up to start the coffee, still half asleep. She didn’t notice it until she tried to pull her hair up and it got hung up in her hair. She woke up pretty quick and ran to her bedroom. I just said, ‘is that a yes’ and it was. We will be married 19 years this December, together 26.”

“Wow. You guys have that relationship everybody dreamed about.”

“It didn’t come without work. There were a few times, we didn’t think we were going to make it. We’re both so stubborn, hard-headed, just plain assholes that it didn’t always make for a good combination. Yet, here we are. She puts up with me and I put with her but it’s out of love not convenience. Honestly, I don’t think anyone else would put up with either of us,” Rafael chuckled. “But she is the love of my life.”

“That’s how I feel about your sister.”

“Good. You might want to talk to Izzy if you’re having problems thinking how you’re going to do it. She’s good at that stuff. She advised Carisi and Nick.”

“Thanks, Barba. Oh shit. I better go. Sarah hates when I’m late for lasagna night.”

Rafael laughed as he made the sound of a whip cracking.

“Like you’re not?”

“Have been for almost 26 years. I don’t try to hide it. See ya, later, man.”

 

“Hey Dawson, hey Diego,” Izzy said as she answered the door. It had been a little over a week since they had been found, so Emersyn had asked if Diego could come over. Chief Harris had given both Izzy and Antonio extended leave while their kids recuperated. “Emersyn is upstairs in her room.”

“I can go up there?”

“Sure, Diego,” Rafael laughed as he came around the corner. “Just keep that arm in its sling.”

“Yes, sir,” Diego laughed as he headed upstairs.

“Get you a drink, Dawson?”

“Sure, Barba. Bourbon?”

“Follow me.”

Izzy went back to folding laundry, only to find that Rhian and Hudson had unfolded everything. “Seriously you two?”

“Mami I can’t find my paw patrol underwear.”

“Hudson they weren’t in this load, son.”

“Sorry.”

“Oh, it’s fine. Just go.”

“I stay and help, Mami.”

“Okay, Rhian. Match the socks for me.”

“You got it, dude.”

“Ugh, no more ‘Full House’ reruns in this house,” Izzy muttered. “Hudson why don’t you go get your iPad?”

“Okay? Can I go see Uncle Antonio?”

“Sure.”

 

“So, how are you doing?”

“You know how I’m doing, Diego.”

“Do I? Em look what we went through…I went through something similar when I was 8.”

“I know, Diego.”

“You know I love you but you won’t talk to me. We went through that together. I was there with you.”

“I know this! I remember! I remember everything about those almost 3 days! I feel guilty…”

“Guilty? For what?”

“When you asked him to do stuff to you instead of me…you got hurt so much worse than I did. I have this ugly scar on my face…”

“That is getting fixed next week.”

“What if I decided to keep it?”

“What do you mean?”

“What if I told my parents I don’t want to follow through with the plastic surgery? Would you still find me pretty? Would you still love me?”

“Are you kidding? You think that I’m just with you because of how you look?”

“I don’t know,” Emersyn shrugged.

“Then you don’t know me at all. Yeah, you’re the most beautiful girl in our school but that’s not what made me fall in love with you. We’ve been together officially almost a year and it’s not because of how you look or how I look. It’s because I love you as a person. Keep that scar if you want. I don’t care. That will not change how I feel about you.”

“Really?”

“Really, Emersyn Catalina Barba. If you want to keep this scar, that’s your decision. It’s not mine but it will never change the way I see you.”

“Close the door.”

“Em…”

“They won’t know.”

“Your dad will jerk my other shoulder out of its socket.”

“Please,” she pouted as she batted her green eyes.

“God, you know I can’t say no when you do that.”

 

“You’re sure you want to do this?”

“Yes, Mami.”

“Okay. I don’t want you to think you’re under any pressure…”

“I already told Diego I was thinking about keeping it and he said he didn’t care. That meant a lot. That’s why I decided to go ahead and go through with this. He loves me no matter what.”

“Okay. The procedure won’t take that long as Dr. McNamara explained.”

“I know. You and Papi will be waiting for me right here.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, so Dr. McNamara is in a consultation but Dr. Cruz is ready to take you back for prep,” Rafael said as he walked back up with the anesthesiologist. 

“Okay.”

“She’ll be fine,” Dr. Cruz assured them.

“We’ll be right here, princesa.”

“Come on, Emersyn. Dr. McNamara shouldn’t be too much longer. Once Nurse Linda and I get you ready, he should be ready to get started.”

 

“Are you ready for you first day back at school?”

“I am, Mami,” Emersyn said with a big smile.“You’re just ready to walk the halls and hold hands with Diego.”

“So? You and Papi did the same in college.”

“That’s true. Did you take your medicine?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Good. Okay, take your breakfast and go eat.”

“Yes, ma’am. Are you and Papi going back to work today?”

“Uh, not today. We’re giving ourselves a day to decompress,” Izzy laughed.

“I can understand that. Okay. I’ve got to eat. Diego will be here any minute. Does Uncle Mike still have to walk us to school?”

“For a little while. Just to keep Papi happy.”

“And you.”

“Yes, and me. Now go eat.”

“Going.”

The kids ate their breakfast while Izzy and Rafael drank their coffee. Jessica got the youngest two to school while Mike walked Jackson, Emersyn, and Diego to school.

“So, what are we going to do while all of the kids are gone to school?”

“Relax, Raf. Relax.”

“Is that all?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Well, there’s still something in the closet we haven’t tried.”

“Are you sure?”

“Uh-huh. Tell me you don’t want to,” he said as he pushed his half hard cock against her while he kissed and softly bit her neck.

“Hmmm, I do.”

“Then go get changed into that outfit I bought you. I’ll meet you on our bed.”

 

She did what he said and grabbed the bag from the closet, heading to the bathroom. She curled her blond hair, put on her make-up, including the smoky eye look he loved so much on her. She put on the lace-up, corset set, black garter straps, the matching floral lace panty, along with lace gloves, and stockings. She found the perfect black heels to pair with the outfit. She grabbed the bag and went into the bedroom. Rafael was already naked as he laid on their bed.

“You don’t already have it on?”

“Hmm, not yet. I have to get you ready…Papi.”

“You call me that, you’ll never get to use it.”

“Want to make a bet? Get on your knees.”

He did as he was told. “You want me to fuck you, Papi?” She asked as she pulled his head back by his hair.

“Si, Mami,” he whined.

“How much?” She asked as bit his neck.

“Fuck me, Mami. Fuck me hard.”

“Ask…and ye shall receive.”

“You want me to stay on my knees?”

“Get on your back,” she commanded as she grabbed the 6 inch strap-on from the bag and put it on.

“Fuck, I hate to say it but, you look amazing with a dick.”

“Do I really?”

“Si, Mami. It fits you.”

“Are you ready for it?”

“Slowly,” Rafael chuckled.

Izzy grabbed the lube and rubbed it all over her toy and her fingers. She put one finger inside of her husbands ass, causing him to moan. She moved it slowly in and out before adding a second. “Oh god,” he shuddered as his wife worked her fingers in and out of him.

“Are you ready for me, love?”

“Yes,” he said with a rock hard dick.

She spread his legs and started putting the toy in his ass. He whined causing her to stop. “Keep going,” he begged.

“Are you sure?”

“Si. Slowly.”

She moved in a little further, he moaned some more. “Keep going”, he whispered and she did. Once his ass was completely filled, she started pumping in and out of him. “Oh, god. Oh, fuck. Yes, mi amor. Just…like that. Keep…fucking…me.”

Izzy held Rafael’s legs as she moved the toy in and out of him, massaging his prostate while stroking his cock. “Fuck keep going. I’m gonna come, mi amor. Oh fuck. Goddamn, oh, oh, oh…”

He shot his wad as his wife got off on the power she had over him. She pulled the toy out of her husband, took it off, and threw it on the floor. “Uh Rafa?”

“What?”

“You have a little…”

“What?”

“You have…you on your chin.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” he laughed as he wiped his chin.

“Now you know how it feels, asshole,” she joked. 

“What do you mean?”

“All the times you were supposed to come on my tits and ‘missed’?”

“Point taken,” he laughed. “That was fucking awesome.”

“Glad you liked it.”

“Liked it? I said it was awesome. That was fucking amazing.”


	149. Chapter 149

“How’s your burger, Em?”

“It’s good, Papi.”

“I used to bring you and your brother here all the time when you guys were little, especially when Mami would be working a case. I can’t believe he’s 14 now and you’re about to be 16.”

“Make you feel old?”

“Funny. And yes, it does. Doesn’t seem real. You’ll be off to college before we know it.”

“Well you still have two more to go.”

“Don’t remind me,” Rafael laughed as he shook his head.

“Have you and Mami thought about adopting any more?”

“Uh, we talked about it but we’ve decided we’re good with the 4 of you. I’ll be 47 this year, your mother 45. We can’t start over again.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, my friends don’t believe my parents are almost 50.”

“I sure don’t believe your mother is. She looks the same to me as she did when she was 18.”

“Were you really mean to her when you guys first met?”

“I wasn’t mean, per se, I was just a smartass to her.”

“Surely not my father.”

“And I wonder where you get it from. My friend Ted and I were working in the bookstore. He turns to me and says, ‘check out these two girls walking up. You seen them before’. I said no and he said, ‘well the brunettes pretty cute’ and I said, ‘good cause the blond is mine’.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep and when she got up to the counter, I completely lost it. Instead of making small talk, that other part of me took over and I was a complete ass. Yet, here we are.”

“That’s actually kind of cute,” Emersyn chuckled. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“A few weeks ago, Mami said something to me that you have had to be strong all your life. What did she mean be by that?”

“Uh, well, I guess maybe it’s time I tell you. You’re old enough. I know I’ve kind of brushed over what kind of man your grandfather was but you really don’t know everything.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was scared to be a father because of the way he treated me. It wasn’t just emotional abuse that Abuela and I had to endure.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I have a scar on my back from him pushing me into a wall that had a sharp edge. I had to get 7 stitches.”

“I had no idea.”

“And because I wasn’t good in sports, and really had no interest in them, that just made him that much worse. It would’ve been better if I had been good at sports instead of books. My freshman year of high school, I decided I was going to do whatever I could to get out of the Bronx.”

“And you did.”

“Yes, I did. I wasn’t going to end up on the streets like a lot of the guys I went to school with did. Your grandfather was convinced though that I was going to get your mother pregnant and I wouldn’t get through law school.”

“Wow. Nice guy.”

“Wasn’t he? So, enough about that. How are you doing?”

“I mean everything’s healed…”

“I don’t mean physically, princesa.”

“I’m okay. The nightmares are gone. I guess it helps knowing he’s in prison and never getting out.”

“That always helps, honestly. It’s a sort of closure. Okay, hurry up and finish if you want to make that movie.”

 

“Papi isn’t going to embarrass me, is he?”

“It’s your 16th birthday. Of course, he is.”

“Mami…”

“I’ll keep him with me as much as I can. I can’t make any promises. Do you realize how much he is paying for this?”

“I know but I know he’s gonna do the thing.”

“What thing?”

“To Diego. You know from that old movie.”

“What? OH! The ‘Meet the Parents I’m watching you’ thing.”

“He does it all the time to him now.”

“Em he’s just messing with him. He’s been letting you back up in your bedroom lately, knowing good and hell well you’re not listening to us.”

“What do you mean? I wouldn’t…we wouldn’t…”

“Two nights ago, we let him stay until 11 and your dad was going to go ask you if you two wanted what was left of the pizza and your door was shut.”

“And he didn’t bust it in?”

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you but he said that you’ll be 16 in a few days and there’s not much he can do about you having sex, short of locking you up but you’re not Rapunzel, so that’s not happening. He’s not happy at all, mind you, and just because he’s not punishing you over it, doesn’t give you the okay.”

“You and him used to do…”

“We were 19 and 21 and who told you that? Your aunt and uncle?”

“Nope. Nonna.”

“She did, did she?”

“She knew he wasn’t staying in Uncle Tony’s room like he was supposed to be that first summer.”

“I’m gonna have a talk with your grandmother.”

“But come on. You don’t find this all a little hypocritical, Mami?”

“We were legally adults. Look, all I’m going to tell you is the same thing you father has already told you…”

“Don’t be coming around here with no babies,” Emersyn mocked her dad. “I know, Mami. So where did we land on the car?”

“Nowhere! What did your father tell you?”

“I can have a car if I go away to college and only if I prove I’m responsible by keeping my grades up.”

 

“We spent how much on this again?” Rafael asked as they walked into the Midtown Loft which they had rented for their daughter’s 16th birthday.

“Do you really want to ask that?”

“Maybe we should’ve just bought her a car,” he scoffed as he looked around as last minute preparations were put into place. “What’s with all the Candy Land stuff?”

“Your daughter and her friends came up with the theme.”

“And I just handed over the checkbook, as per usual.”

“Rafa, stop. You want her to have a good birthday, right?”

“Of course.”

“And you told her she could have whatever she wanted for this party, remember?”

“I remember.”

“All she asks is that you don’t embarrass her tonight. You think you can handle that?”

“I suppose. So many rainbows make it so bright in here.”

“You’ll be fine, Dracula. Will you get out of this mood?”

“I’m trying but it looks like Willy Wonka threw up in here.”

“I get what this is about.”

“What do you mean?”

“This isn’t about the money or the party. It’s the fact that your baby girl is actually 16.”

“No, it isn’t. It’s the money.”

“Rafael.”

“Fine. You win. I wasn’t ready for this anymore than you will be when Jack turns 16 in two years.”

“And I’m not denying that but try not to let your mood spoil the party. Look, there’s an open bar for the adults.”

“Thank god. The drinks aren’t candy-themed are they?”

“I made sure they have plenty of your favorite scotch.”

“I’m gonna need whiskey tonight.”

 

“What is our daughter wearing?” 

“It’s a dress, Rafa.”

“The hell it is! She looks a back-up dancer for Katy Perry.”

“It is not that bad,” Izzy said referring to the candy themed rainbow tutu dress.

“Diego better keep his hands where I can see them all night. Where is he?”

“Ah! Don’t do it, Robert DeNiro. Now I promised to keep you on your best behavior.”

“Well that little outfit you got her isn’t going to help.”

“Actually, you can blame her Aunt Olivia for that. She had Lucy make it for her.”

“What?”

“Why aren’t you guys out there dancing?”

“Because your friend is in a bad mood, Sonny.”

“Come on, Barba. Lighten up, it’s a party.”

“Yeah, I’m aware. I’m the one paying for it.”

It was more than evident Sonny was way too hyped up on sugar. “Carmen if you don’t do something with your husband…”

“Don’t look at me, Nick. Sophie isn’t that hyped up.”

“Come on guys!! YOLO! Remember that?”

“Say that one more time, Carisi, and I’ll shove my foot up your ass twice.”

“I think Barba needs another drink.”

“Leave him alone, Sonny. We’ll see how you are when Sophie turns 16,” Carmen playfully scolded.


	150. Chapter 150

“Hey, kiddo. What brings you from your perch in the big city all the way down to Bensonhurst?”

“Funny, Pop,” Izzy said as she walked into her parent’s house.

“It’s good to see you,” Anthony laughed as he hugged his daughter. “So, again I ask…”

“Is Ma around?”

“Yeah. She’s doing laundry I think. You want a beer?”

“Not right now.”

“Everything okay?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Izzy, it’s been almost 45 years. I know when something is bothering you. You and Rafael okay? Something going on with one of the kids?”

“Never better. And no, they’re all fine. I just need to talk to Ma about something.”

“Okay. Well, she’s around here somewhere.”

Izzy found her mother where her father said she’d be. “Hey, baby. What brings you to Brooklyn?”

“Uh, well, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure. Let me put these clothes up and I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

Izzy looked in the fridge, old habits die hard, while she waited on her mother to join her.

“Okay. I’m done. What’s going on? Are you okay? Are the kids…”

“Everyone is fine. Look, what all have you told Emersyn about when Rafael and I were younger?”

“What do you mean?”

“That summer of 96 that he basically lived here while we were out of school.”

“That’s mainly it. Oh, and that you two thought you were sneaky but your dad and I knew that he was sneaking into your room after we went to sleep. That’s why your dad finally just let him start staying in your room with you. Better than you two sneaking around.”

“Okay, Ma, you can’t be telling her that kind of stuff.”

“Your dad and I were always honest with you and your brother…”

“And that’s fine. But that was a different time. I get it that you and Dad went to Woodstock, protested Vietnam, etc. You were basically hippies but Rafael and I are not. We were raised in the era of AIDS and an upswing of teen pregnancy. You telling my daughter what me and her father did, while we were in college, mind you, makes her think it’s okay for her and her 16-year-old boyfriend to have sex in my house.”

“You were having sex when you were 16 and don’t tell me you didn’t have sex in this house when you were that age.”

“Yeah but you guys weren’t home. We have two little kids running around that still don’t always knock when there’s a closed door.”

“You need to stop being so uptight about this. Your daughter was able to come to you for birth control just like you did me, so you knew what was going to happen.”

“You’re missing the point, Ma. You tell her what we did without stressing the fact we were adults.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. Can I just say something?”

“What is it?”

“The look on her face when she talks about Diego, is the same look you had when you talked about Rafael. The same look you still have when you talk about him.”

“Ma…”

“I’m only saying.”

“When you talk to my daughter about me and her father when we were young, will you leave out the sex stuff? My 16-year-old calling me a hypocrite is not something I enjoyed.”

“You’re right and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told her about that. I won’t tell her anymore things of that nature. I’ll just tell her how in love you two were,” Stella sang.

“Come on, Ma. I’m almost 45.”

“You two still act like you did at the beginning.”

“I would think that’s a good thing.”

“It is. Now, why don’t you call my favorite son-in-law and tell him to bring my grandchildren over and you & me can cook dinner?”

“He’s your only son-in-law,” Izzy laughed.

“He’d still be my favorite even if I had another one.”

 

“What fucking year is this again?”

“It’s 2021, Doom,” Dawson answered.

“And we’ve got a synagogue covered in swastika’s, anti-Semitic epithets, and another shot up leaving 2 dead, 4 more critically wounded, 3 in stable condition,” Izzy reported to two of the detectives, “Now, where are we on traffic cams, any kind of surveillance camera’s from nearby bodegas, witnesses, anything.”

“Dodds and Dunbar are talking to the ones that are in stable condition right now. Holliday is going through traffic cams…”

“And you two are still in my office, why?”

“I liked you better when we worked Narcotics,” Doom joked.

“You want your shield back, don’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah. We all know you’re Harris’ pet.”

“Doom.”

“I’m just kidding, Izz.”

“Don’t mind her. Barba must not be hitting it right.”

“Shut up, Dawson,” Izzy groaned. “You guys got jobs to do so do them. And for the record, Dawson, I have no complaints about my husband.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna meet Holliday. See if she’s found anything.”

 

“Hey Izz.”

“Hey, Liv. What’s up?”

“Came across something you and Dodds might find interesting. Remember Brian Ackerman?”

“His son got killed in a courtroom shoot-out back in 05. I was in Narcotics at the time but I remember it.”

“Well, he still has quiet the following from prison.”

Izzy looked through the file Liv had handed her. “Recognize a name.”

“Randy Platt. The Martha Cobb case.”

“Right. Barba couldn’t prove that Justin Vichinsky attacked her because of her history with Platt.”

“Wow. He’s escalated over the years, I have to say.”

“Well, I’m sure it doesn’t help that we have another black president.”

“I’ll have Doom and Dunbar pick him up.”

“That should be interesting,” Liv laughed.


	151. Chapter 151

“Did you hear about the case SVU caught?”

“The dead girl in the park with the fake ID, Dawson? Yeah, Rollins told me no one heard anything, no saw anything,” Izzy replied from her perch atop Dawson’s desk.

“Some of the shit we’ve seen since we’ve been over here has made my stomach turn but I don’t miss SVU and I damn sure don’t miss Intelligence or Vice.”

“The only thing I miss about SVU is the squad.”

“And what are we?”

“I’ve worked with you before, Doom. That shield looks nice.”

“It does, doesn’t it? I paid my dues to get it back, that’s for sure.”

“Izzy you got a minute,” Mike asked as he walked in and headed to his office.

“Sure. What’s up, Mike?”

“I need you and Dawson to head to SVU, help with their latest case.”

“The dead girl in the park? That’s not a hate crime.”

“Yeah but Benson wants a few extra detectives to help with this. They are hitting road block upon road block.”

“Alright. We’ll head over now.”

 

“We can't get him on rape, so we go after him for spreading HIV? Do we have proof he infected somebody?” Benson asked after Izzy and Dawson came back with evidence that while the murdered teen, Anna McWilliams, wasn’t murdered by a one-night stand, Peter Butler, he would’ve given her HIV at the very least. 

“He's positive, he's slept with hundreds of women, and he's bragging about riding bareback.” 

“Carisi?” 

“It’s been done before. I don’t see what’s the difference here. The guy is walking around with a loaded weapon, just waiting to pull the trigger. But I can't file a complaint until a partner he has harmed comes forward.”

“I might know someone.”

“Who, Izzy?”

“That first girl we talked to. Rebecca Ellison. When Dawson and I went to talk to her, she said she had the flu.”

“You don’t think it was.”

“Not anymore, Liv.”

“Go back to her.”

 

“Carisi, you got a minute?”

“Sure, Sarge. Come on in,” he replied waving Izzy into his office. “What do you got for me?”

“Warner’s report.”

“Butler infected 11 other women?”

“Yep.”

“Well, there's my ace in the hole, thank god. Now all I have to do is convince Barba to admit her expert testimony at tomorrow’s hearing. Why did Stone have to take vacation right now?”

“Good luck. How’s Carmen feeling?”

“5 more weeks and she insists on working until the last minute like she did with Sophia.”

“She’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Well, I’ll see you at the hearing tomorrow.”

After Barba gave his ruling that Melinda’s testimony would be admitted into Peter Butler’s trial, the first victim they found, Rebecca Ellison sprayed Peter in the face with hydrochloric acid after court was adjourned, to which Izzy and Dawson immediately arrested her.

“Now, I have to go to court and deal with this,” Rafael scoffed as they cooked dinner. 

“Have you heard anything?”

“From what I understand, Jack wants Carisi to charge Rebecca with first degree assault.”

“She wouldn’t have been in there if hadn’t been for me and Dawson.”

“You didn’t put that acid in her hands. My head is already killing me.”

“Why don’t you go get a drink? I can finish in here.”

“Thanks, mi amor,” he said as he kissed her forehead.

 

“At this time, Your Honor, the people have decided not to pursue charges against Ms. Ellison.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Carisi,” Barba asked peering over the top of this rectangle glasses. “You are not filing charges against Ms. Ellison after she deliberately injured the defendant in another case in my court room?”

“Not at this time, Your Honor.”

“I see. Ms. Ellison, you are released back to Bellevue to continue to receive treatment. Be advised, just because you have not been charged at this time, does not mean you will not be. I’m assuming the DA’s office is just unsure how to proceed at this moment. I would not leave the hospital for any reason if I was you.”

“She understands, Your Honor,” her defense attorney said.

“Mr. Carisi, my chambers now.”

Carisi knew he had some explaining to do as he followed Rafael. “Look, Barba…”

“Sit your ass down and listen to me. Just what in the hell was that stunt you pulled in my courtroom just now?”

“We’ve heard everything she’s been through, several other women for that matter…”

“And I understand that, believe me but the law is what the statute says it is. I obviously failed mentoring you if you believe vigilante justice has any place in our society. Do I have to remind you of the case against Evelyn Bundy for taking the law into her own hands and castrating her rapist?”

“No, sir.”

“You have 24 hours to file charges against Rebecca Ellison or I am reporting you to the Bar myself.”

Carisi just sat not knowing what his next move was.

“We’re done here. Good day, Mr. Carisi.”

“Barba…”

“I said, good day.”

 

“What’s wrong with Papi?” Hudson asked as they had watched him pace all over the apartment for hours after his meeting with Carisi.

“He’s just having a bad day,” his mother told him.

Rafael was so bothered by his exchange with Carisi to the point he didn’t even eat dinner. He had at least taken the time to get in his pajamas, however. The older kids cleaned up the kitchen while Izzy got the younger two ready for bed. 

“Raf?”

“What?”

“Why don’t you come to the bedroom for a minute?”

“I’m not in the mood for sex,” he said through his teeth.

“That’s not why I want you to come to the room. Just…okay?”

“Fine,” he snapped as he rolled his eyes. Izzy laid down and then motioned for Rafael to lay against her between her legs. He started massaging his neck and shoulders. After a few minutes, he started to melt against her. The tense look he had on his face all evening had left to be replaced by a more relaxed one. 

“How’s your headache?”

“Gone,” he whispered. 

“Good. Stop letting this get to you. You did what you had to do. I understand what Peter did to her and those other women was wrong, but she doesn’t get a free pass. Carisi knows better.”

“Does he? Did I fail to teach him anything?”

“No. Not at all. You’ve been faced with things like this. Maybe he was in a way trying to be like you and do what he thought was right.”

“Maybe.”

“Papi?”

“Yeah, Rhian?”

“Hudson and me have cuddles?”

“You bet. Get up here,” he smiled as moved to his “spot” and they climbed in bed, one child on each side of him. “I needed this earlier,” he said as he kissed each of them on their heads. 

“We all know to steer clear of you when you get that look,” Izzy laughed. 

"I didn't mean to take this out on you guys."

"I think we'll live. Those two seem to have forgiven you rather quickly." In the matter of minutes, Hudson and Rhiannon had both fell asleep with one of their Dad's muscular arms around each of them. 

"How did I get so lucky?"

"Hmm, almost 26 years ago, you saw me in the Harvard bookstore and you wouldn't leave me alone after that," Izzy joked.

"I knew I'd eventually wear you down."

"I'm glad you did, too," she smiled as she leaned over to give him a small kiss.

"So am I."


	152. Chapter 152

“Carisi? What brings you by?” Izzy asked when she answered the door to find the tall ADA on the other side.

“Is Barba busy?”

“Uh, he’s in his office I think. You sure you wanna…”

“Yeah. I need to talk to him.”

“Follow me.” She could hear him talking to Rhian as they walked up so she motioned for Carisi to stop behind her as they stood and watched them.

“Now, when you don’t want to eat broccoli without cheese, what do you tell Mami?”

“Objection!”

“Ah, yeah! That’s my girl! You are definitely going to be the next Barba to be a lawyer.”

“Cause I’m going to be just like my Papi,” she replied.

“Yes, you are,” he smiled as he took her off his lap and sat her on his desk.

“But I look Mami, so not just like you.”

Rafael couldn’t help but smile when she said that. Izzy and Sonny couldn’t help but melt, too, since all of them knew it wasn’t possible but Rhiannon couldn’t know that. She just knew she had the same hair color as her mom and sister.

“Ahem, hey. I hate to interrupt,” Izzy said as she knocked on the door. “You have a visitor.”

“Uncle Sonny!”

“Hey, Rhiannon! I swear you get bigger every time I see you.”

“Probably.”

“Rhian, why don’t you come with Mami so Papi and Uncle Sonny can talk?”

“Objection, Mami.”

“On what grounds?”

“Uhhhh…Papi?”

“I’ll teach you that later. Go with Mami, princesa,” he laughed.

“Good job, Rafa,” Izzy scoffed as she rolled her eyes while she and Rhian walked out.

 

“Have a seat, Carisi. Get you a drink?”

“Thought this one could be on me,” Carisi replied as he pulled out a bottle of Macallan Reflexion Single Malt Scotch.

“Carmen is going to be pissed if you keep buying scotch this expensive.”

“I can take an ass chewing once in a while,” Carisi chuckled as he opened the bottled and poured them each a drink in the glasses that that Barba had handed him.

“So, what brings you by?”

“You know Butler dropped the charges and took a plea…”

“I’m aware of the specifics of both cases and I know that’s not why you came by with a $1700 bottle of scotch.”

“I thought about what you said in your chambers a few days ago. I know you think you failed in teaching me but you didn’t. Honestly, I learned more watching you for 3 years than I did in my 3 years at Fordham. Don’t say it," he said noticing Rafael was opening his mouth, "I used the tools you provided me that made me believe I was doing what was right at the time.”

“I get it. But the law is in place for a reason. We can’t have people thinking they’re Batman and taking care of the bad guys or else my wife is out of a job and essentially so are we.”

“Yeah, I know. Its just after what Butler did, knowingly, to so many women…”

“You should know, as a former cop that your personal convictions cannot rule your ability to do your job. I was tough and yeah, I’m being a dick now but…”

“I understand, Barba. I really do. I guess I need a kick in the ass every now and then to remind me why I switched careers.”

“Well, you should know by now, I’ll have no problem doing that.”

“Believe me, I know,” Carisi laughed. 

“You’ve proven yourself and you’re a good ADA, not as good as I was. You might get there in 10 years.”

“If I last.”

“You will. Just don’t let your sympathies for someone overrule what you know is right.”

“Like you did with Mariel McLaughlin?”

“Technically, I just made an ill-timed phone call to my wife before getting into the elevator with a few of the jurors on the case. That whole year was a bitch. Her, the Householder baby. You know, I’ve never told Izzy this but I was actually thankful for my heart attack during that case so I didn’t have to continue with it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I was going to go to the hospital that night, offer Aaron a deal, and tell Maggie to turn off the machines herself. I went to the hospital alright but to the Cardiac Care Unit Instead. Then while I was recuperating, I got the call I had been waiting on and praying for. So, that heart attack, in a way, saved my life.”

 

“Carmen are you okay?”

“Yeah, Mr. Barba,” she said as she fanned herself with a manilla folder while taking breaths.

“Are you…are you in labor?”

“The contractions are only 10 minutes apart, my water hasn’t even broke. I’ll be fine until Sonny gets out of court.”

“No, you won’t! I told you to start maternity leave last week! Will you women ever learn to listen to your husbands?”

Just then, her water broke all over the carpet in Rafael’s chambers.

“Carmen I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you! Okay, come on. I’ll call Carisi and get you to the hospital.”

“I don’t have time.”

“What do you mean?”

“He wants to come now.”

“Why my office, Carmen,” he half whined as he tried to get a hold of Carisi. “Lay on the couch and get comfortable.” He knew his wife was just down the hall and should finish testifying any minute so he text her to get to his chambers immediately when she was done.

“What is so important…are you okay, Rafa? You look flushed.”

“Ca..Car…”

“My water just broke Izzy and this baby is coming.”

“Are you sure?”

“I feel exactly like I did when Sophia was born.”

“How long have you been in labor?”

“About 4 hours.”

“Okay. Rafa? Rafael!”

“Huh? I need a first aid kit and your shirt and your under shirt.”

“I don’t think me stripping…”

“Raf, seriously?!”

“OH!”

“I know you have more in your closet.”

He did what his wife said and grabbed another undershirt out of the cabinet in his closet.

Izzy got Carmen’s phone and called their midwife who was with another mother in labor but was sending her assistant. Carisi was stuck in court, Bertuccio would not recess for the day just yet.

“Okay, Carmen, Brooke is on her way but I don’t know if she’s going to make it in time. Are you ready?”

“I don’t have a choice,” she cried out. 

“Rafa sit behind her like you did me with Hudson to support her body. Remember?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

 

Mason Dominick Carisi was born before the Midwife’s assistant showed up so Izzy wrapped him in Rafael’s undershirt once she cleaned him off as best she could. Carisi came running in, along with EMS, to transport them to the hospital to make sure everything was okay.

“Thank you, guys, so much,” Carisi said as he hugged his friends tightly for helping his wife.

“Go, make sure your wife and son are okay,” Izzy told him once she was able to break away from his iron grip.

“And call janitorial to clean my office!!!” Rafael called after him.

“Hush, Raf. They already know.”

“You were pretty awesome, you know that?”

“You were a wreck.”

“Oh, I’m aware,” he agreed. “Why don’t we get you home and get you cleaned up?”

“Sounds like a good idea.”


	153. Chapter 153

“Okay, let’s move! Junior, Freshman, Kindergartener, and Pre-Kindergartener, out of your beds!!!”

“It’s Papi’s favorite holiday,” Emersyn scoffed as she drug herself out of her bed.

“Well, at least we can bring him some joy,” Jackson joked as he headed to the bathroom.

“No! Let me in first!”

“I’ll be 5 minutes.”

“Em, go to the other bathroom.”

“But, Papi.”

“You can do your hair and make-up after your shower. He’ll be out by then.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Papi Me ready.”

“Oh, nice try, Princesa but I don’t think Mami is going to be okay with that outfit.”

“But I’m a princess.”

“Yes, I know this but you’re Papi’s princess. I don’t think you’ll be your teacher’s princess.”

“Okay,” Rhiannon shrugged. “I’ll go put on the dress Mami has out.”

“Good. Then come down for breakfast.”

“Apple juice?”

“Si.”

“Lucky charms?”

“I think so. Go get dressed and come see.”

“Okay!!”

 

All the kids were off to school after they were dressed and fed so Rafael and Izzy would enjoy the quiet day at home, lounging on the couch, watching TV. “Rub my feet.”

“Ew! No!”

“Why not?”

“Cause you have nasty man feet!”

“You used to in college.”

“That’s because I was trying to keep you. Your feet are all gross now.”

“They are not! I use that lotion you bought me on them every night. Feel.”

“Rafa!!”

“Come on!”

“Wow. Okay, they are surprisingly soft.”

“See? Come on. I rub yours all the time.”

“So? I’m the wife and I’m on my feet a lot more, chasing bad guys.”

“And it still does wonders for these thighs, these calves, that ass…”

“Stop!”

“What? Am I on a limit?”

“Well, you will be 47 this year.”

“So? My heart is still in tip-top shape, baby.”

“Give me your feet.”

“Since you’re being nice, I’ll do yours at the same time.”

“Aren’t you sweet?”

“I do my best.”

 

“Hey, Sergeant.”

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Your Honor?”

“I got done with court and thought I’d come by, see how your day has been.”

“Not too bad.”

“I bet I can make it better.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“And how do you think you could do that?”

“Well, you are all alone,” Rafael said as he shut her blinds in her office.

“I see. Well, by all means.”

“Are you gonna make this old man work for it?”

“Excuse me,” she laughed and tossed her panties off at him.

“You need to lift that skirt just a little more,” he growled as he positioned himself between her legs as she sat on her desk. She undid his belt, causing his pants to fall down to his ankles. He rubbed her enough to get her wet before pushing his cock inside of her.

“God, Raf.”

“You like that?” He whispered as he thrusted into his wife.

“Hey, Izz, we got that…Oh my god!!”

“Dawson?!”

“Sorry…I’m sorry,” he said as he turned pink and slammed the door.

“Everything okay?”

“Don’t ask, Doom,” Dawson replied as he covered his face with his hands once he sat at his desk.

“I thought you locked the door,” Izzy scolded after they finished.

“I thought I did,” Rafael said as he pulled his boxers and pants back up. “Okay, I’m just going to walk out of here like nothing happened. I mean he didn’t see anything.”

“I’ll walk you out.”

Antonio didn’t even make eye contact as Izzy and Rafael emerged from her office. Rafael said he was going to act as if nothing happened but he just couldn’t help himself as he bent down to Dawson, “As you can see, I think I was hitting it just fine.”

“Rafa!”

Doom had no idea what was going on and he told himself he did not want to know.

 

Rafael and Izzy were laying in bed one night when he started giving her “the look”.

“Oh, are you…were you…are we…”

“I thought we might,” he said as he bit his bottom lip and tilted his head.

“Oh, okay.”

“Are we seriously having to schedule sex now?”

“Rafa, with all the kids extra-curricular activities, our careers, helping Sarah plan her wedding, and not to mention our Halloween party, we are stretched so thin.”

“We swore we’d never become that couple.”

“We had sex in my office a few weeks ago.”

“And that was the last time it was spontaneous. Remember when you’d sneak in on me in the shower, I’d do the same to you. I’d wake you up in the middle of the night, you’d wake me up in the morning…”

“I know but…”

“But what? Junior misses you.”

“Now there’s a name I haven’t heard in years.”

“You named him.”

“Oh, I remember. So, does Rafael Junior want to come out and play?” She asked as she kissed his neck, while rubbing him outside of his pajama bottoms.

“Hmm, yes he does, baby,” he moaned. 

“Well, I guess I will just have to take care of that.”

 

“Okay, Izzy. What was so important I had to get over here right away?” Dawson asked as he walked into the Barba’s apartment.

“Antonio?”

“Sylvie?! What…oh my god! What are you doing here?!”

“Izzy flew me out here!”

“I can’t believe…wow…you’re…” Dawson couldn’t even finish his sentences as he picked Sylvie up and hugged her.

“I’m so happy to see you, Antonio.”

“God, me too, Syl.” Everything they felt before was still there. Dawson had walked in on his best friend and commanding officer having sex on her desk, so she could deal with him kissing the love of his life in her den.

“Okay, get that shit out of here!”

“So, are you just here for the weekend?”

“Uh, no. I got a job with FDNY EMS. In two weeks, New York will be my new home.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Is that okay?”

“It’s more than okay. Have you found a place yet?”

“I have.”

“Well, I am taking you to dinner tonight.”

“Yes, you are,” Sylvie laughed. “Wait, what about Diego?”

“He’s taking our daughter out and then he will be locked in the guestroom.”

“And once you get to know her husband, you know he means business,” Dawson laughed.

“Oh, he’ll probably camp out outside the guestroom,” Izzy added. “You two go and have fun.”

“Thank, Izz,” Dawson whispered as he hugged his friend of over 30 years.

“You deserve to be happy, too, Antonio.”


	154. Chapter 154

“Are really doing this?”

“Yes, Rafa. It’s our turn to do the Halloween party.”

“I thought we did it last year.”

“No, we did the Christmas party last year. Nick and Amanda did Halloween.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. You just don’t want to wear the costume your daughter picked out.”

“Do you blame me?”

“I think you’ll be cute.”

“I hate Halloween and you know why.”

“You’re not going to look ridiculous. You’re going to look like a father that would do anything to see his daughter happy.”

“I guess,” he huffed.

“And remember, we’re doing like Nick and Amanda. The kids will be here for a few hours then, everyone will take them to grandparents or whatever, then it’s adults only.”

“Meaning alcohol.”

“You always see the silver lining, Raf,” Izzy snickered.

“I can’t believe you and Amanda and Sylvie are making jell-o shots. We haven’t done those since college.”

“That reminds me, Sylvie asked that you pick up some green apple flavored vodka when you go to the liquor store.”

“I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.”

“She found the recipe on Pinterest.”

“I’ve been telling you to stay off of that app for years. What else am I getting?”

Izzy finished making the list and sending it to Rafael’s phone. “So basically all of aisle 5?”

“Rafa.”

“I’m kidding, mi amor. I’m gonna call Nick and see if he wants to get out for a little bit.”

“No, now you have one job. You do not need the distraction. Liquor store and home. Liquor store and home. Do I have to repeat it?”

“Ugh, no. You know we can just place the other online and they’ll deliver it.”

“Last month, I did that and I had to hear all about how they sent you the wrong bottle of scotch for a week. Didn’t stop you from drinking it but you still moaned and groaned over it.”

“Fine. I’ll be back in a few. Anything else you need me to get?”

“Anything you see that we might need.”

“I know something I need right now.”

“You need your hand on my ass, really?”

“Yep, sure do.”

“Will you go,” she laughed at her husband.

 

“Okay, I told you I look ridiculous.”

“You do not, Sully.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“But that’s who you are.”

“Kitty!!” Rhiannon said as she ran into the room.

“Rhian…”

“No.”

“Sorry…Boo.”

“Much better, Papi. Mami will you fix my hair?”

“In just a second. I got to finish my costume.”

“Okay, I’m calling it.”

“What?”

“Unfair. You get to be Dr. Venkman and Hudson is Slimer.”

“We agreed that Hudson and Rhiannon could pick our costumes, without us putting up a fight.”

“But Jesse wanted to be a Ghostbuster so you, Nick, Jesse, Amanda get to be Ghostbusters with Hudson and Aiden being Slimer and Mr. Stay Puft.”

“I’m sorry, dear.”

“I still don’t know how I let you talk me into this. Oh wait, yeah I do,” he said with that smirk.

“Well, we have been together almost 26 years so I do know how to get what I want out of you. But you and I both know you did this because you love your daughter.”

“Okay maybe a little of both.”

“It won’t be so bad. Trust me, you’ll feel better when you see some of the other costumes.”

 

“No way,” Carisi laughed as he, Carmen, Mason, and Sophia came in dressed as the Flinstones. Rafael was walking around with Rhian in his arms. “Your Honor, you better put that thing back where it came from or so help me…”

“Carisi your ass just hung a vacancy sign and my foot it looking for a room.”

“I’d watch it, Carisi, before Barba kicks the yabba-dabba-do-do out ya ass,” Fin added as he walked up with Jayden. Fin was a chef, as was Melinda, and Jayden was a lobster. It seemed they had all let their kids or grandkids in Fin’s case, pick out their costumes.

“Check out the Breakfast Club over there,” Nick chuckled as he pointed at Gil, Zara, Emersyn, Diego, and Jackson dressed at Andy Clark, Allison Reynolds, Claire Standish, John Bender, and Brian Johnson respectively. 

“What’s Dawson supposed to be?”

“He’s Principal Vernon, Carisi, come on.”

“Sorry, Izz. Where’s Sylvie?”

“Sleeping. She’ll be here tonight. Oh…my…god,” Izzy said upon seeing her brother, Erin, and Arianna come in.

“I’m officially not the most ridiculous looking one here,” Rafael beamed with pride.

“Yes, laugh all you want,” Tony scoffed.

It seemed everyone was trying to think of something smart to say but too much was going through their heads.

“You actually got out of the swamp?” 

“Ha ha, very funny, sis.”

“Wait, doesn’t Shrek have a Scottish accent, not a Brooklyn accent?”

“Fuck off, Barba.”

“Daddy!”

“Sorry, baby girl. Go play with your cousins.”

“And Erin…”

“I said I’d do this but only if I could be Princess Fiona before her transformation into an ogre.”

“And Arianna?”

“She loves Donkey,” Erin shrugged.

 

“You know exactly where you’re supposed to go after the party, right?”

“Yes, Mami. Jackson and I are going to Nonna and Papa’s, Diego is going to his Abuela’s, and Gil and Zara are going to Cesaria’s.”

“Right. I want to know exactly when you get in the car and when you’re dropped off.”

“I know. We’ll be fine.”

“No drinking, no drugging…”

“Papi!”

“Okay, okay. Have fun but have sense, too.”

“We will. Can we go now?”

“Yes, have fun.”

“We will.”

“Okay, we have an hour before everyone will be back.”

“We need to get changed and get everything else out, Raf. Mike and Alice will be here as well as Stone and Sarah.”

“Do you think everyone is going to be pissed that we changed costumes?”

“Oh well,” Izzy shrugged. “If you’ll start getting out the adult only snacks, I’m going to put on my new costume.”

“I can’t believe you won’t let me see it.”

“I think you’re gonna like it. Now, no peaking. I’m locking the bathroom door.”

“I would never…”

“Rafael…”

“Yeah okay. Hurry up.”

It took her about 30 minutes to get changed and redo her hair.

“I believe you told me to hurry up?” She said as she walked into the kitchen where her husband was setting down a tray of jell-o shots Izzy, Amanda, and Sylvie had made the day before. He nearly dropped it.

“Are you trying to give me another heart attack?”

“I think you’ve been wanting to see me in this for…quite a while.”

“That’s why you got me the Han Solo…”

“That’s right.”

“You sure you’re not…uh…showing…”

“Is there a problem with my body?”

“God no. It’s not the body of a 45-year-old.”

“Just go get changed.”

“Do we have…”

“No, we do not. Now go.”

“You’re not taking that off after everyone leaves, just so you know.”

 

Everyone showed back up and they had changed their costumes as well.

“Oh my god, Nick.”

“Don’t…don’t say it.”

“How did you let Amanda talk you into dressing up as Stuart from MadTV?”

“I might’ve made a deal with him.”

“Yeah, I sold my soul to the devil, Barba.”

“And just who the hell are you two supposed to be?” Amanda asked when Carisi and Carmen walked in.

“We’re Lisa and Screech. Duh.”

“Carmen you really let him talk you into that?”

“It’s one of his favorite holidays. I can give in once in a while.”

Liv and Brian showed back up dressed as Al and Peg Bundy, Fin and Melinda were a 1920’s gangster couple, Mike and Alice had apparently somewhat coordinated with Carisi and Carmen and came as Jessie and Slater, Dawson and Sylvie were Gomez and Morticia, Erin and Tony were Betty and Lewis from “Revenge of the Nerds” with Stone and Sarah as Maverick and Charlotte “Charlie” Blackwood from “Top Gun”. 

“Cassidy how many jell-o shots have you had?”

“I lost count after 6, Fin.”

“I feel bad for Liv having to deal with you tonight.”

“Barba!”

“What, Cassidy?”

“How are you keeping your hands off your wife tonight?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’ve seen her in a bathing suit but I had no idea her body…oh, oops. Sorry, I’ve had a few to drink.”

“You mean you’ve had a few to slurp? It’s fine, Cassidy. No harm, no foul.” But he was lying. Even after almost 26 years, he still would get a tinge of jealousy now and then if someone objectified his wife, especially to him. He found her talking to Sylvie and Erin. “I need my wife for a second, ladies.”

“No problem, Barba,” Sylvie laughed.

He didn’t say a word as he took her to their room and pushed her against the door.

“What are you…”

He interrupted her with a kiss before she could say anything else. Within a matter of seconds, he was hard and ready to go. He had to take the bottom of her costume all the way off to be able to get into her. He held her against the door with one leg wrapped around his waist. She was doing her best to keep quiet but it wasn’t an easy feet. 

“What came over you?”

“Just felt like it. Are you complaining?”

“No,” she smiled as she got redressed and tried to wipe the sweat off of her chest.

“Where did you two disappear to?”

“Mind your business, Carisi.”

“That says it all. Come on, Tony and Erin brought us a little ‘treat’.”

Tony was trying to roll a joint but kept fucking it up.

Rafael finally grabbed it from him. “Let me fucking do it. You couldn’t roll in college and you still can’t.” 

“You’re pretty good at that, Barba,” Melinda laughed.

“I’m good at everything I do. Isn’t that right…Leia?”

“Shut up and just roll the damn thing,” Izzy laughed as she rolled her eyes.

“DUDE!!”

“It’s your sister! Fuck, I know! I’ve known for 26 years. You’ve never let me forget.”


	155. Chapter 155

“How do we let Carisi talk us into doing things like this?”

“I’ve been asking myself that for years, Liv,” Izzy laughed. “Come on. When was the last time you’ve played ‘Never Have I Ever’?”

“College. You?”

“Same. Could be fun.”

“Everyone has plenty to drink I hope.”

“Depends on how bad the questions get.”

“God, I dread to think.”

“Are you two coming?” Cassidy called from the living room.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Okay, so who’s going to start?” Erin asked.

“I think Carisi should since this was his idea,” Stone offered to which everyone agreed.

“Fine. Okay. Never have I ever said the wrong name during sex.” Izzy watched as her husband, brother, Erin, Amanda, Stone, Cassidy, Mike, Alice, and Nick drank.

“Barba!”

“What, Liv? Her name was Julie and I called her Jamie…I think. Fuck, it was back in 94.”

“Okay, Carmen’s turn.”

“Never have I ever said I love you just to get laid.” Rafael, Tony, Nick, Sonny, Brian, Mike, and Dawson drank. “Okay, Fin.”

“Let’s see, never have I ever…used food during sex.”

“What are we talking like whipped cream?”

“Any kind of food, Carisi! Jeez, man.” Pretty much everyone drank. “Okay, Melinda.”

“Hmm, never have I ever had an injury caused by sex.”

“Oh my god, what could you two have done that caused an injury?” Nick laughed after Rafael and Izzy drank.

“There was the time we fell off her bed in college and my head hit Izzy’s nose…blood everywhere.”

“I remember that. She was black and blue for a week,” Erin laughed.

“Then there was the time about 6-7 years ago, he pulled a muscle in his back while he had me on his desk…”

“You said you pulled it working out.”

“I lied, Nick. So?”

“Jeez. You could’ve told me.”

“Moving on. Cassidy?”

“Never have I ever had sex in a public place…wait a minute! That’s excluding offices cause that one’s a given with all of us.”

“My sister and her husband will be drunk in no time we keep going with these kinds of questions.”

“Shut up, Tony.”

“What? You and Barba used to go at it behind the card catalogue in the Harvard library.”

“What?!”

“Okay, everybody calm down. We didn’t go at it behind the card catalogue. It was the Paleontology section where no one ever went. Get it right, Tony.”

“You guys seriously?”

“Seriously, Mike. They went at it wherever they could.”

“Okay, let’s move along! Liv?”

“I got one. Never have I ever walked in on Barba and Izzy.”

“Does just hearing them count?” Carmen laughed. Everyone except Alice, Sarah, and Sylvie drank.

“Wait, you’ve heard us?”

“Oh, Barba come on. You are not that naïve,” his wife laughed.

“I’ve heard plenty over the years. I get paid well for my discretion though.”

“I remember one time, we were supposed to be coming for a meeting and we just heard the loudest slap coming from the other side of the door.” 

“Nick took his hand off the door quickly,” Fin chuckled.

“Remind me to never coming looking for you at the courthouse,” Sylvie joked.

“I have a better one,” Stone offered. “Before he left the DA’s office, I went to ask Barba about a case. It was late, we were the only two in the building. His door was open, so I walk in. He’s relaxed in his chair and I see his hand holding a lot of blond hair. I turned and left as fast as I could. I called before I went to his office after that.”

“Okay, can we just move along? Sarah and Tony don’t want to hear this.”

“Oh, come on, you guys have given us so much material over the years.”

“Okay, game’s over. Everybody go home.”

“Come on, Barba. We’re just messing around,” Liv laughed.

“Your wife thinks it’s funny,” Sylvie added.

“I need another drink,” he huffed as he got up and went to the kitchen, with Izzy following close behind.

 

“Babe?”

“Not now.”

“Come on, they’re just having fun.”

“At our expense.”

“Well, it’s not like we haven’t exactly brought it on ourselves,” she said as she put her arms around his neck. “I mean, we do like to mix things up.” Her hand worked its way down and began rubbing his cock through his pants.

“You’re the one that can’t keep her hands to herself,” he shuddered.

“And who’s fault is that?”

“Uh…uh…junior’s?”

“Sure,” she smiled before bringing him in for a kiss. “Now, if Han Solo is going to save Princess Leia after everyone leaves, you need to lighten up a little. We have dirt on some of them, too. Don’t forget.”

“You’re right. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“He okay?”

“He’s just fine, Fin. Now who’s turn was it?”

“Uh, yours.”

“Hmm, never have I ever…participated in a 3-way.” Rafael made it back just in time to see Liv drink.

“Olivia Margaret Benson!!”

“What, Elizabeth Michelle Barba?”

“I can’t believe you.”

“I was in college. It was fun.”

“I’m kind of shocked myself.”

“Oh, please, Barba.”

“That kind of stuff shouldn’t come as shock when it comes to us but you?”

“Okay, Barba, your turn.”

“Let me think…never have I ever…sent dirty pictures of myself to my significant other.”

“Drink up, Barba,” Dawson laughed. They all did.

“I’m going to start timing your bathroom breaks, Carmen,” Rafael joked.

“Okay, Tony.”

“I’ve got one. It’s good, too. Never have I been to a sex club,” he said looking straight at his brother in law and sister.

“Fuck you, Tony,” Rafael half laughed as they drank, with all eyes on them. “What?”

“Uh, an explanation, maybe?” Carisi asked.

“Fine. We had been pregnant 3 times and had two kids in 18 months. Things had gotten a little stagnant in the bedroom and one of the other ADA’s I worked with in Brooklyn had told me about this place so we looked into it.”

“Did you guys…participate?”

“No, Rollins. We didn’t have to if we didn’t want to. Although, a few of the girls wanted my wife.”

“But can’t you like, just do stuff by yourselves while people watch, too?”

“Well, yeah but I don’t need an audience when I defile your sister.”

“You can fuck off with that shit, Barba. You can fuck straight off to fuck off mountain while riding your fuck horse to the land of oh hell no.”

“You started it.”

 

“Oh my god, I feel like I’m going to die.”

“We haven’t drank like that in years.”

“What time are the kids going to be home?”

“Uh, my parents said to call them when we’re ready for Emersyn and Jack to come home. How about Friday?”

“It’ll take me that long to recover,” Rafael moaned. “I’m gonna call Mami and see if they’ll keep Rhian and Hudson a few more hours. Wait…hold that thought,” he said as he ran to the bathroom.

“Don’t get any on the floor!!!”

“Fucking kill me now,” he groaned while he rested his head on the toilet.

“Rafa?”

“Why are you shouting?”

“I’m not. I’m gonna take a bath.”

“I’ll get in with you.”

After a warm bath, Rafael came back with Excedrin, Gatorade, and an ice eye mask for his wife. He closed their curtains to try and make it as dark as possible. It was 9 in the morning and their parents said they would get the kids back to them around 3 or 4, not before Lucia and Stella both made fun of them for being so hungover. They felt so bad, they didn’t even bother putting clothes on after the bath.

“How are you feeling?” He asked when they woke up around 1:30.

“Much better. I think I can Mom now.”

“Goddamn I don’t even remember everything we drank.”

“Me either and I think it’s better that way,” Izzy laughed as she got up to put some clothes on. She noticed her husband staring at her.

“What?”

“You’re beautiful,” he smiled.

“You’re still drunk.”

“Not hardly. You know, we still have a couple of hours before the kids get home.”

“After the morning we’ve had, do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“I guess you’re right. Plus, I don’t think you could handle me after last night.”

“Challenge accepted, Mr. Barba,” she smiled as she threw the clothes down and climbed back in bed.


	156. Chapter 156

“Do I smell your grandma Rossetti’s Christmas cookies in the oven?” Rafael asked as he greeted his wife with a kiss on the cheek.

“You most certainly do. You know I never go a Christmas without making them.”

“You did one year.”

“When?”

“The first year we were married,” he smiled.

“We got home from Mexico two days before Christmas Eve. We didn’t even put a tree up that year.”

“After you bitched at me for not having one when I lived alone.”

“You bought one, didn’t you?”

“Yes. We had that tree for about 5 years, didn’t we?”

“I think so. We picked it out that first Christmas I lived in that apartment and you went nuts decorating that apartment.”

“You liked it.”

“Until I had to take everything down and put it up, alone after you went back to school.”

“So sorry, Your Honor. Here, have a cookie.”

“So good. You remember that first Christmas we were married?”

“Of course. It was only 18 years ago. I’m not that old. We had just gotten home from our honeymoon.”

“That was a good week, too. I don’t know how you didn’t come back pregnant. We hardly left our room. Then we got home and it was basically the same thing,” he said softly as he started kissing her neck.

“We were in so much trouble when we finally got to my parents Christmas Day.”

“And your brother wouldn’t shut up about what took us so long. I don’t think your dad appreciated that.”

“Oh, I remember.”

“We snuck up to your old room after dinner…”

“What are you doing?”

“The kids won’t be home for another hour.”

“I have to finish these cookies. Your mom expects some as does Liv, Amanda, Melinda, Carmen, Sylvie, Alice, and now your sister.”

“Come on. You’ve got plenty of time,” he begged.

“Tonight, after the kids are asleep.”

“Fine. I’m going to my office.”

“Don’t pout, Rafael.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” she said as rested her hands on his hips, he pushed her against the refrigerator, not asking for permission as his lips crashed into hers. “Raf…Raf…”

“What?” He asked as he went at her neck.

“Cookies…oven…they might…”

“Hurry. You can finish the rest later.”

“The rest of the cookies or the rest of that in your pants?”

“The cookies. This is getting finished within the next 30 minutes.”

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Okay, I’m heading to Diego’s.”

“Okay, have fun. Be home at a decent hour please.”

“I will, Mami. 11.”

“Did your dad say that was okay?”

“Papi?”

“What?”

“I can stay at Diego’s till 11, right?”

“It is Christmas and he’s going to Chicago tomorrow to see his mom so…yeah, that’s fine. Behave yourself.”

“I will, Papi.”

“So, Jackson is holed up in his room with one of his new games. The other two have 900 new toys to scatter across their rooms so we’ll be left alone for oh, maybe 30 minutes until someone is bored,” Rafael laughed.

“Surely not.”

“You want to see what’s on TV or find something on Netflix?”

“How about just some peace and quiet after this morning?”

“Sounds good to me. I’m gonna get another cup of coffee though. You want?”

“Sure.”

They sat on the couch, drinking their coffee and reading different things on their iPads as Christmas was winding down. That was the first year in forever they didn’t have some big get together with everyone. Tony and Erin went to see Hank in Chicago, Liv and Brian were entertaining his mother, Gil and Zara went to visit their mothers while Nick and Amanda went to Georgia, Carisi and Carmen went to Staten Island, Dawson’s daughter Ava had come into visit before she and Diego would go see Laura in Chicago, and Fin and Melinda went on a tropical vacation with Ken, Alejandro, Alicia and her fiancé, and Jayden. 

“So,” after a very silence Rafael spoke, “Stone and Sarah are getting married New Year’s Eve and Brittany is going to stay with us while they’re on their honeymoon?”

“Yep.”

“You think her and Em will get along for the week?”

“We can only hope.”

“You okay?”

“Hmm? Yeah, I’m fine, babe. Just reading.”

“Is it that interesting?”

“A little,” she shrugged. “Are we going to order Chinese tonight?”

“If you want. We haven’t done that on Christmas since before the kids were born.”

“Hey, Mom, Dad?”

“Yeah, Jack?”

“Michelle just called and her parents invited me to Christmas dinner since we’re not doing anything special this year.”

“Which one is this? The blond with curly hair?”

“No, mi amor, that was Aymee. Michelle has dark hair, right?”

“Dad you guys met her at my last basketball game before Christmas break. She’s the cheerleader with light brown hair.”

“Who had the dark brown hair?”

“That was Kirstin, wasn’t it?”

“Mom? Can I go?”

“Yeah, fine. Home by 10.”

“10? Emersyn gets to stay out until 11.”

“And she’s almost two years older than you. Plus, we know her boyfriend’s Dad.”

“I guess all I have to do is start having sex and I can stay out later.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing, Dad. I’ll be home by 10.” 

“Okay. Well, it’s just us and the little ones tonight. You want to take them to a movie?”

“That sounds like a good idea actually,” Izzy smiled. “See what’s playing and I’ll get them ready.”

 

“Rollins what brings you 4 blocks west?”

“Need your Sergeants help, Doom. She around?”

“Uh, she was in the Lieutenant’s office last I knew. How’re you doing?”

“I’m good, Doom.”

“How’s Amaro?”

“He’s married to me. How do you think he is?”

“Miserable.”

“Very funny. Izz!”

“Hey, Amanda. What’s up?”

“Liv wanted me to bring this by and have you look it over,” she said as she hand her a file.

“Amanda, give me a break with this. Come in my office,” Izzy laughed. “Liv wants me to look over the alcohol list for our girls trip?”

“Eh, I needed to get out of the office. So, how you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the other night when we went out, you were unusually quiet.”

“I’ve just been tired.”

“We’ve been friends for 10 years. I know better.”

“I don’t know,” she said as she rubbed her face. “It’s like ever since Christmas, there’s been this weird shift between Rafael and me. I can’t explain it. It’s just weird.”

“Well, you guys have been married almost 20 years. Even the great Rafael and Elizabeth Barba are bound to have a rough patch.”

“I guess.”

“He’s still not thrilled about this trip, is he?”

“Are any of them?”

“Nope,” Amanda laughed. “It’s not like Nick and Barba don’t have teenagers to help them.”

“Oh, I know.”

 

“When will you ladies be back?”

“In four days.”

“I’m really glad you could let me know about this before it was actually planned.”

“Did I say anything to you when you and Tony ran off to Vegas for a bachelor party, leaving me home with two toddlers? No. And I did say something about it.”

“When?”

“In January.”

“You mentioned it, yes. You didn’t say it was definite.”

“You know what, Rafael, if you don’t want me to go, I won’t.”

“No. By all means, all you ladies think you need a break from your men and kids. Take it. By all means. Do not let me stop you.”

“Look, I don’t have to…”

“I said, it’s fine. Your car’s here.”

She picked up her suitcase and travel documents. “Okay, kids. Please do not give your dad a hard time.”

“We won’t, Mom.”

“And you and Jack help him with Hudson and Rhian…”

“I can handle them.”

“O-kay. I will see you guys in a few days. I love you.”

“We love you. Have fun.”

She walked out the door without a kiss or anything from her husband. She just got in the elevator and tried to concentrate on her trip.

The elevator opened to the ground floor and Rafael was waiting on her.

“Did you run down the stairs?”

“I couldn’t let you leave without telling you to be safe and I love you.”

“I love you. I’ll be home in a few days. Call if you need me.”

“I will. Call me when you land.”

 

“What did they all suddenly start manstrating because we came to the Bahamas without them?” Amanda asked as they discussed their men’s reactions to their girls only trip.

“Sure, seems like it. I mean, Brian can handle Noah for a few days without me.”

“Tony is just fine, too.”

“So is Sonny,” Carmen agreed.

“Hell, I’ve been on 48 and 72 hour shifts since I got to New York. I need a break,” Sylvie laughed.

“They can get right the fuck over it, too.”

“Ooh, trouble in paradise?”

“Fuck off, Erin. I’m getting another drink. Anyone else?” Izzy asked before walking back into their rented beach house.

“Her and Barba okay?” Liv asked.

“I don’t know. She hasn’t said anything to me. Rollins?”

“No. Not me either.”

“Barba has been in more grouchy mood than usual,” Carmen added.

“That’s saying something,” Liv remarked.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure they can get through it. They’ve gotten through worse,” Erin replied.


	157. Chapter 157

School was out for the summer and Rafael and Izzy seemed to be further apart than ever. They weren’t getting along.

“Uh, I think I’m gonna go into the office for a little bit.”

“On a Saturday?”

“Yeah. I don’t have all the files I needed like I thought for the sentencing hearing Monday.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Why?”

“I just thought since Jack is with Diego and Antonio, Emersyn is with Zara and the little ones are at your mom’s, maybe we could do something. Brunch or something?”

“Uh, yeah. No, brunch is fine.”

“I mean, I know this case is important so if you need to work...”

“It can wait. Let’s go.”

“I’ll get my purse.”

Just then the doorbell rang. “Are we expecting somebody?”

“What day is it? Oh shit. It’s the contractor.”

“To remodel the kitchen,” he remembered. “I put that on the books at Christmas for you.”

“Yeah.”

 

They fought over the new countertops, the new cabinets, handles, anything they could argue over. It just snowballed when it came to picking a sink.

“But no, you can never admit to not knowing anything because you have to know everything. Just like a few years ago.”

“Oh, you're bringing up old arguments?”

“Yes. I am. You do it all the time! Is that a problem?”

“Yes, it's a problem, Rafael, cause I have no idea what we're fighting about! I literally have no idea what  
you want from me right now!”

“I don't want anything from you! I was just trying to buy a fucking sink! Just do what you want to the kitchen. I don’t care anymore,” he said as he walked out of their torn apart kitchen.

 

It took a few weeks but the kitchen was redone within two weeks. “It looks good.”

“That’s the first thing we’ve agreed on in months,” Izzy remarked.

“Yeah. I guess it is.”

“We can’t keep doing this, Raf. I think, uh, I think we need…space.”

“I think you’re right. Therapy didn’t work. I don’t know what else to do.”

“I’ll go stay…”

“No. You stay here with the kids. I’ll go to a hotel until we figure out a way…to figure this out.”

All she could do was nod as tears fell from her eyes. He sat his coffee down and took her in his arms. “We’ll figure this out. One way or another, baby,” he said as he kissed her forehead while he cried. “I’m gonna go to work and I’ll pack some stuff later, before the kids get home.”

“We have to tell them something.”

“I know.”

 

Emersyn got home from Volleyball camp and Jackson got home from his two a day summer basketball practice. Rafael had packed a suitcase as they waited for them. “Kids?”

“Yeah, Mom?”

“We need to talk to you for a minute.”

“Can it wait? I’m supposed to be meet Diego in 20 minutes.”

“No. It’s important. Your Dad and I will meet you two in the family room.”

“Are you ready to do this?” Rafael asked before they walked out of the bedroom.

“No. I never thought we’d be having this conversation…” she couldn’t even finish as her voice broke.

“Shh. We can do this.”

“Okay.”

They both wiped their eyes as they walked into the family room.

“Is everything okay?” Jackson asked. “Did something happen to…”

Rafael held up his hand to stop his son. “You guys know that your Mom and I have been having some problems for months now. We’ve tried everything we know but the thing we’ve decided to do right now…is take…some time apart.”

“What? Mom?”

“Emersyn we don’t know what else to do right now. We’re not getting along, it’s spilling over onto you guys, and that’s not healthy for any of us.”

“Are you guys gonna get divorced?” Their daughter asked with tears in her eyes.

“Uh, honestly, we don’t know what’s gonna happen.”

“So, who’s leaving?” Jackson asked.

“I am,” Rafael replied. “You guys will stay here with your mom while I stay in a hotel until we can decide to proceed. Hopefully before school starts back.”

“That’s in a month.”

“We know, Em. Your mom and I love each other, we just need to be our own for a while.”

“Will we see you?”

“Yeah, Jackson. Your mom and I will figure all that out.” 

Their oldest kids stood up without a thought and hugged their parents. The four of them hadn’t cried at the same time like that since Lina passed away 7 years earlier. “Okay, I’m gonna get going. Don’t tell your little brother and sister. We’ve got to figure out a way to explain it so they’ll understand it.”

“We won’t, Dad.”

“Okay. I’m sure I’ll see you guys this week. I’m still gonna have to use my office here.”

They hugged their Dad one more time before Izzy walked him to the door. “How the hell did we get here?” He asked with tears in eyes.

“I don’t know,” she replied, her voice trembling.

“I do love you.”

“I know. I love you, too.”


	158. Chapter 158

“So, this is how it’s going to be? We stay here a few days a week and go to Dad’s apartment the rest of the week?”

“Jack look I know this isn’t ideal…”

“It’s been over a month. You guys don’t really talk.”

“You don’t know when we talk.”

“Maybe not but I do know my parents are miserable. What a way to start my Sophomore year.”

“You know what, just go to school.”

“I’m moving in with Dad. Just thought you should know.”

“That’s fine with me. Really because your attitude is too much.”

“Yeah, get off of Mom. You act like she kicked Dad out and she didn’t.”

“Em, don’t fight with your brother.”

“I’m sick of it, too. He acts like he’s the only one affected by this separation.”

“Look, I’ll see you guys after school and take you to your Dad’s.”

“Okay. I love you, Mami.”

“I love you, too, baby girl.”

“I love you, too, Mami.”

“I love you, too Rhian. Are you ready to see Papi after school?”

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“Good. When I get off work, I’ll take you over there. Okay?”

“Okay.”

 

“Hey Sarge.”

“Hey, Dawson.”

“You got a minute?”

“Yeah. Have a seat. What’s up, Antonio?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Izz, come on. You’ve put off the Lieutenants exam, your daughter told my son you cry yourself to sleep almost every night…”

“How did you know your marriage to Laura was over?”

“Well, I mean, I came home one night and she had taken the kids and left a letter.”

“But when did you stop fighting?”

“I don’t even remember, Izz. Honestly, I think I knew there was nothing to fight for when she left. She made up her mind when she took the kids. At least you guys talked about what was going on.”

“Yeah, I suppose. Jack told me this morning he was going to live with Rafael.”

“He’s just at that age, Izz.”

“Diego moved in with you when he was just a little younger than Jackson.”

“Sometimes, they just want their Dads. Don’t take it personal.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“You know, I’m here if you need me.”

“I know. Thanks, Dawson.”

“Come on. Pound it.”

“No.”

“I promise, just a fist bump.”

“Antonio, I will break your hand if you do it.”

“Do you not trust me at all?”

“Fine. Dammit, I told you!”

“I made you laugh.”

“Get the hell out of my office.”

 

“Hey,” Rafael smiled as he opened the door to his apartment.

“Well, here they are.”

“Thanks. I could’ve came by and got them.”

“I know but you always do.”

“Well, I appreciate it.”

“Okay, you guys behave for your Dad.”

“You tell us that every week, Mom,” Jackson said as he pushed passed her and into his Dad’s apartment while he rolled his eyes.

“Hey, what the hell? Don’t treat your mother like that.”

“I’ve been used to it, Raf.”

“Izzy get in here. Jackson, couch, now. Emersyn take your brother and sister to their rooms.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“What does your mother mean that she’s been used to your attitude?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged.

“Oh, he informed me this morning that he was coming to live with you.”

“Is that right?”

“Beats staying in a place you’re paying for but not living in.”

“Your mother pays for that, too. You seem to forget she has a job, with a good salary.”

“No, I don’t but…”

“You don’t realize how hard this has been on me and your mother apparently. It’s all about how hard it’s been on you. Your brother and sisters are making the best of the situation and as the older brother, you should be doing the same before them. You know, setting an example? They keep seeing you treat your mom like shit and they’ll start doing the same thing.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think of it like that, I guess.”

“Look, I’ll let you start staying on the weekends but your attitude towards your mother has to change first. ¿Entiendes?”

“Si, Papi.”

“Go start your homework. I’ll order dinner a little bit.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in a few days, Mom.”

“Okay. Well, I guess I’m gonna go home.”

“You want to stay and eat with us?”

“I would but I’m meeting Amanda and Liv…”

“Got it,” he half smiled.

“Thanks for having my back with Jackson.”

“Of course,” he said as he walked her to the door. “So, I’ll bring them to you Monday after school.”

“Yeah.”

They both just kind of stood by the door, like they did many times before, not knowing what to do. He finally leaned in and hugged her. She wrapped her arms around him tight as she breathed in his scent. 

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too. I’ll see you Monday.”

 

“Rafael. What brings you to Brooklyn?”

“I took the kids back to Izzy and just kind of found myself over here,” he told his father in law.

“Well, come on in. Let’s have a drink. Stella is playing bridge so it’s just me.”

“Thanks, Anthony.”

“So, how are you holding up?” Anthony asked as he handed him a glass of scotch.

“Best as could be expected.”

“And my grandkids?”

“Same.”

“When you say best as could be expected, I don’t expect that to be very good.”

“It’s not. I never thought we’d end up here.”

“Honestly, I don’t think any of us did. But this doesn’t have to be the end.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you still love my daughter?”

“Yes.”

“Do you still envision growing old and being covered in grandchildren with her like you said when you married her?”

“Yeah,” he said as his voice cracked.

“Then you have to fight, son. You can’t just give up. You two have went through a lot that could’ve torn you apart and yet it never did.”

“I know. We just felt like we ran out of options.”

“And I’m not judging you guys for that. But if I know my daughter, if you’re willing to fight for the life you planned, she’s gonna fight like hell, too. You know she will.”

“I know.”

“You just got to talk and tell each other what you want, what you need.”

“You’re right. I’m almost 48-years-old and I act like I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, in a way you don’t because the longest the two of you have ever been apart was barely two weeks. It’s been almost two months.”

“It’s just so hard…”

“I know. Listen, no matter what happens between you and my daughter, you will always be a part of this family. You will never cease to be my son. Got it?”

“I got it, Anthony. Thanks.”


	159. Chapter 159

“So, are you and Mom just going to keep acting like everything’s fine?”

“What do you mean, Jackson?”

“It’s been almost 3 months and you’ve made no progress or any attempt of a reconciliation, yet you both still wear your rings. I saw where she texted you that she loved you the other day.”

“You were going through my phone?”

“No. You were dealing with Hudson and Rhian and left it on the table and it buzzed. I just looked.”

“It’s…complicated.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Jackson, knock it off. They’re adults. This isn’t our business.”

“Yeah, it is, Emersyn. We have a right to know if they’re getting divorced or not.”

“You know what? You guys finish your dinner and help your little brother and sister get ready for bed. I have work to do.”

“You got it, Papi. Way to go, Jackson.”

“Well, why can’t they just be honest with us?”

“I don’t want Mami and Papi to get a divorce.”

“Do you even know what that is, Hudson?”

“Yes. It’s when parents split up but never get back together.”

“I think he understands, Jackson.”

“This is bullshit and you know it. He drinks all the time, she cries herself to sleep. He goes weeks without shaving. These aren’t our parents.”

“So, what do you want to do? Devise the dumbest version of ‘The Parent Trap’ ever to get them back together? They’re Harvard educated, I don’t think that would work.”

“Fine, whatever.”

“You know his birthday is tomorrow. He doesn’t need this right now.”

“Yeah and Mom’s is in three days. They’re going to spend them alone.”

 

“Guys seriously?” Rafael moaned as Mike, Carisi, Nick, Dawson, Fin, Brian, Stone, and Tony took him to a strip club for his birthday.

“Come on. We haven’t done this since Carisi’s bachelor party. It’ll be fun and you can use it,” Nick told him.

“I’d much rather be in my apartment, sitting on my couch, watching a documentary on the Vietnam War I have DVR’d.”

“Oh, just relax and get a lap dance or two. I’ll even buy the first one.”

“Not necessary, Carisi. I can assure you.”

Yeah, they didn’t go to some dive, skank club but Rafael was not into it at all. He kept looking at the text he received from his estranged wife earlier that day. “Hope you have a wonderful birthday! I love you.” That’s where he wanted to be more than anything. He sat around and drank a few glasses of scotch before excusing himself to go to the bathroom. He made sure the guys were entertained before he slipped out the door.

Anthony and Stella had Hudson and Rhian that night while Emersyn was staying with Zara and Jackson was staying with Diego. Izzy was sitting on the couch, watching an old Robin Williams stand-up on Amazon when the doorbell rang. She really didn’t want to peel herself off the couch but did so after the second ring.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

“The guys took me out but I just wasn’t feeling it.”

“Um, well, come in. How about I get you a drink?”

“Sure. I’d like that,” Rafael smiled as he walked in. 

She poured them each a drink and they sat on the couch, continuing watching Robin Williams. “You always liked him,” he laughed.

“Yeah. Him and Eddie Murphy.”

“Oh, I remember.”

They just sat and watched the rest of the special as they laughed and had a few more drinks.

“So, what were you guys out doing?”

“Ugh, it was their bright idea to take me to a strip club,” he said as he rolled his eyes. “You know how much I enjoy those.”

“You seemed to enjoy the one you guys went to for Carisi’s bachelor party.”

“I knew I should’ve turned my phone off.”

“Shh. It’s the Koko part,” she said as she turned up the TV.

“I don’t know what’s funnier. This part or the thing about Viagra.”

“You never needed any. I’m sorry…I didn’t…I shouldn’t have…”

“It’s fine,” Rafael laughed.

They both just kind of stared at each other. Before she knew it, his hand was on the back of her head as he started kissing her. “I’m sorry.”

“N-n-n-no,” she said as she pulled him back to her. He pulled her onto his lap and stood up, taking them to their bedroom. Clothes came off within seconds. She moaned loudly as he slid into her.

“Are you okay, mi amor?”

“I’m fine, Raf. Keep going.”

He didn’t take his eyes off of her as he slid in and out of her. It had been months and her body felt like it did that first time in 1995. “God, Rafael.”

“You feel so good, baby,” he moaned against her neck. They went at it for longer than either of them expected to. 

Even though, for that near hour, they didn’t have a care in the world but each other, they came back to reality afterwards. “I guess I should probably not stay the night, huh?”

“I think it would confuse the kids if they came home in the morning and you were here.”

“No. You’re right,” he said quietly as he got dressed.

The truth was, she wanted him to stay but not just for the night. She just didn’t know how to tell him or actually what to tell him.

“So, I’ll get the kids in two days?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Well, thanks for the drinks and the company. I much rather would’ve spent my birthday with you anyways.”

“I’m glad. I’ll see you in a couple of days.”

“I’ll set the alarm when I leave.”

“Thank you.”

He bent down and kissed her forehead before he left. He held himself together until he got in the elevator before he broke down. It wasn’t the sex he was missing, it was just her. The spark was still there, they more than proved that so he knew he was going to have to fight if they were was any hope of saving what they had and what they could have. She wasn't much better as she spent another night in bed, bawling. She could still smell his cologne on the pillow next to hers. They just needed to remember why they fell in love to begin with all those years ago.


	160. Chapter 160

“So, we’re all set for dinner tonight?”

“As far as I know, Rollins,” Izzy replied as they grabbed coffee before heading to work.

“Don’t worry. Liv talked Warner out of hiring strippers or going to a strip club.”

“Thank God. Okay, so I guess I will meet you ladies this evening.”

“Blue Hill 7:00.”

“I’ll be there,” she said as she waved to Amanda and walked into the 118th. 

“Hey, Happy Birthday, Sarge.”

“Thanks, Dawson. You the only one here?”

“Dodds and Doom went to Rikers. Dunbar and Holiday are at the hospital. Dodds told me to hold down the fort until you got here.”

“Okay. Let me put my stuff down and we can start going through financials of the White Knights or whatever the fuck they call themselves.”

“Copy that.”

Izzy opened her office door and turned on her light to find a dozen pink roses on her desk. No card or anything. “Hey, Dawson, did you see anyone come in my office since you’ve been here?”

“Nope.”

She looked for a card but knew exactly who they were from. It was the same flowers she had gotten every year for her birthday since 1996. All she could do was cry. Dawson was coming in with the files and saw her. “Hey, hey. I got you,” he said as he put his arms around her and grabbed some Kleenex to give her.

“I’m fine, Dawson. Thank you. Can you give me a minute?”

“Yeah, sure. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and pushed send when she came to Rafael’s number. He didn’t take a second to answer, either. “Hey.”

“Uh, hey. I figured you’d be in court.”

“Not until 10.”

“Oh, I was just, uh, calling…thanks for the flowers.”

“Of course. Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you.”

There was an awkward silence between them. “Well, uh, Dawson is waiting on me.”

“Yeah, sure. Hope you have a good day.”

“Thanks.”

She sat at her desk, staring at a picture of her and Rafael on her desk from their last vacation as she played with her rings before she called Dawson back into her office.

 

“There she is,” Liv said when Izzy walked up in her favorite blue dress. They were all dressed to the nines that night. Liv, Melinda, Erin, Carmen, Alice, Amanda, and Sylvie were determined to make sure Izzy had a good birthday. Sarah was working and unable to make it but Izzy wasn’t upset about it. She knew Sarah’s job was just as demanding if not more so as theirs.

“I have to tell you, you do not look like someone who just turned 46,” Rollins laughed.

“Well, as many times a week as we work out, you shouldn’t be all that surprised Rollins.”

“It’s all that sex…” Erin stopped herself after she put her foot in her mouth. 

“Erin!” Liv scolded.

“It’s fine, Liv. She’s probably somewhat right. I mean, almost 27 years of…”

“Hey, hey,” Liv said as she rubbed her back.

“I’m fine. Jesus what is wrong with me today?”

“Pre-menopause,” Melinda joked.

“Thanks, Warner,” Izzy laughed.

“Hey, you got her to laugh at least,” Sylvie added. “Antonio told me about today. Are you okay?”

“What happened?”

“Oh, nothing. I got flowers for my birthday and started bawling in my office.”

“Barba?”

“Yeah, Liv,” she nodded as tears filled her eyes again. “God, why can’t I stop? Okay, no more talk of my estranged husband.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve walked in on him in his office, a few times…”

“Doing what, Carmen?”

“Breaking down. He’s been miserable without you.”

Izzy smiled but it wasn’t a smile of victory or anything. She smiled because she had been looking for a reason to fight to save their marriage and she found it. Maybe he couldn’t tell her how miserable he was but at least knowing that he wasn’t holding it in meant there was still something for them to fight for.

After dinner, drinks, and a lot of laughs, they all walked out and tried to decide of what to do next.

“You know what, guys? I’m kind of tired.”

“Aww, come on, Izz. It’s your day.”

“No, I know, Liv. I just had a long day and the house is empty.”

“Do you want anyone to come with?”

“Nah. I’ll probably just take a long hot bath and crawl in bed.”

“Okay. Well, Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you,” she said as she hugged them all before getting into the Uber she had ordered. She ended up at Rafael’s building. She got in the elevator. Her hands trembled as she pushed the button. She got to the door and knocked. She waited a little bit and knocked again. She didn’t hear the kids or the TV. She was slightly disheartened but figured he probably took the kids to eat or something so she headed back to their apartment. 

 

She sat her clutch down on the table by the door as she reset the alarm for the night. She started taking off her shoes as she walked to their room to see the lamps shining out. She just thought maybe she left them on that morning.

“Uh hey.”

“Hey. What are you…where are the…”

“I, uh, I need to talk to you.”

“Okay. Where are the kids?”

“Mami & Bill’s. God, you look so beautiful,” he said as he took her hands in his. He was shaking so bad.

“Are you okay, Rafa?”

“I just need you to listen to me, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“The other night, my birthday, that was one of the best nights of my life. I think we started taking each other for granted and we lost sight of everything about us, including why we fell in love to begin with. I remembered perfectly on my birthday as we talked and I watched you laugh. Then feeling that close to you again just solidified it. When I left the other night, that was worst feeling in the world when I know exactly where I wanted and needed to be,” he told her as tears fell from his green eyes. 

“Raf…”

“Let me finish. Please?”

She politely nodded as he continued. “That night cannot be the last time I kiss you or the last time I make love to you. It just can’t be. But, if you don’t feel the same, I am prepared to walk away. All I want is for you to be happy and if that doesn’t include me anymore, I’ll understand.”

She couldn’t even speak as she broke down, yet again on her birthday. “Cariño please say something.”

“I want what you want. I wanted you to stay the other night but not just for the night. I laid in bed and cried myself to sleep, again. I don’t who I am without you and I think that’s probably a good thing because before the kids, you were the best thing that ever came into my life.”

“So are you to me. So, I can come home?”

“Of course, you can.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“You never have to ask, Rafa.”

“I’ve missed hearing that,” he said before he kissed her. “I love you, so much.”

That night, they took their time with each other in bed. Nothing was rushed, nothing was dirty. It was slow, passionate, loving as they kissed, touched, and held each other. No dirty talk, nothing but adoration for each other came from their mouths. Afterwards, they just laid in each other’s arms.

“I still have pajamas, here, don’t I?”

“Yes,” she laughed.

“I’ll just have Mami bring the kids here in the morning, if that’s okay.”

“That’s perfectly fine.”

“Happy Birthday, mi amor.”

“Thank you.”

“I promise I won’t give up on us again.”

“Me, too.”

“We’ve come too far to throw everything away.” 

“I know and we have so much further to go,” she smiled.

“Yeah, we really do.”


	161. Chapter 161

The next morning, Izzy woke up to find their bed empty. First she thought maybe she had too much to drink at dinner and had dreamed it all. That was until she could smell coffee brewing and food cooking. She smiled as she put her robe and slippers on. Her husband was in the kitchen in his pajamas, hair a mess, glasses on, cooking breakfast. “Hey,” he smiled.

“You’re smiling, Barba. Why does that freak me out?”

He just sort of laughed at his wife. “Come here, get some coffee, beautiful.”

“Don’t mind if I do. So, what’s all this?”

“Well, Mami is dropping the kids of in about 15 minutes and I know how they love my peanut butter chocolate chip pancakes so I thought, on top of the surprise that I’m coming home, I could surprise them with those.”

“Aren’t you sweet? But if you’ll remember, I came up with adding peanut butter to the chocolate chip pancakes.”

“No ma’am,” he laughed as he shook his head. “That was my brainchild when we lived together in law school.”

“You’re crazy. That was all me!”

“No, it wasn’t. I remember perfectly. You were making chocolate chip pancakes one Saturday morning and you said you were getting bored with those and started wondering what you could add to change them up and I suggested…”

“Peanut butter.”

“And was I wrong?”

“No,” she chuckled.

“So, it was who that came up with that?”

“Fine,” Izzy replied as she playfully rolled her eyes.

“So, before the kids get here, I want to talk you really quick.”

“Okay.”

“Um, I’m so happy we’re working everything out. I just think that maybe, it wouldn’t kill us to try therapy again.”

“Oh ok.”

“I think some outside help, as long as we really apply ourselves, might could be beneficial to us.”

“I agree, Rafa,” she said as she cuddled up to him.

“Also, I don’t want to do the big Thanksgiving this year.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Why don’t we just go to Brooklyn this year?”

“I could handle that.”

“Tony and I can get drunk with your Dad like we used to, we can pass out in your old room.”

“Funny. And the kids would sleep where?”

“Guestroom, couch.”

“Speaking of, I think I hear ours.”

“Izz?”

“In the kitchen, Lucia!”

Emersyn came in with her grandmother. “Wait, this was the surprise?”

“Your Mom and I talked last night and this morning and we’re committed to working things out.”

“Oh my god!!”

“Take it down a level or two.”

“What are you hollering about, Emer…Dad? So, are you moving back home?”

“Yes, I am, Jackson.”

“No more half the week here and half the week there?”

“Nope. That’s over.”

“But you guys aren’t?”

“Not by a long shot. Where’s Hudson and Rhiannon?”

“They went to put their stuff in their rooms,” Lucia answered. 

“Is that Papi’s chocolate chip peanut butter pancakes,” Jackson asked.

“See? I told you.”

“We already solved this argument, Raf, and yes. Your Dad is making breakfast.”

“Why don’t you two go get your little brother and sister ready to eat while I talk to your parents for a minute?”

“Okay, Abuela.”

“If you two scare me like that again, I swear I’ll kill you,” Lucia told her son and daughter in law.

“What do you mean, Mami?”

“You think you two were the only ones taking this hard?”

“Oh, Mom,” Rafael groaned as he rolled his eyes and hugged her. “You want to stay for breakfast?”

“I better get home. Give you guys some time alone with your kids.”

 

“Is that everything?” Nick asked as they finished packing up Rafael’s apartment. He had actually sublet it from one of the other judges on a month to month basis, and it was completely furnished so there wasn’t much to pack besides his clothes, the few law books he took, and pictures and other personal items.

Izzy was packing his suitcase when she found a light blue box in with his pajamas.

“Uh, Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s this?”

“That…what was your birthday present.”

“You got me something…even though…”

“Of course, I did. I just forgot to grab it when I went to wait on you to get home on your birthday. I was in such a hurry and nervous, I didn’t even think about it.”

“Can I?”

“Sure,” he said with a smile.

She opened the box from Tiffany’s to find the platinum Tiffany Bow necklace she had been wanting.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Here let me,” he said as he put it on her neck. He placed a small kiss where her shoulder neck met after he fastened the chain. “I knew it would look perfect on you.”

“Hey, Barba, we got the last box down.”

“Thanks, Amaro. We’ll be down in a minute.”

“Well, are you ready to officially come home?”

“More than you know.”

“Well, let’s go, Your Honor,” she smiled as she held out her hand.

He grabbed his suitcase and took her hand, leading her out of the apartment he lived alone in for 3 months.

 

“Diego I think it’s time to go home,” Rafael said as he and Emersyn had spent at least 10 minutes saying good-bye to each other one night before Thanksgiving.

“Sorry, Rafael. Okay I really need to go before your Dad kills me.”

“He’s not going to kill you,” Emersyn scoffed as she rolled her eyes.

“I might,” Rafael teased as he walked back by the door on his way back to the bedroom. 

“I better get home. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Diego finally left and Emersyn went to her room. Everyone else was in bed for the night, as was Izzy.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Rafael asked her.

“You know why.”

“Don’t go there, mi amor.”

“You can’t deny…”

“We were older.”

“And she’s a Senior this year, she’ll be 18 right before she leaves for college…”

“Don’t start that hate speech again.”

“Aww, poor Papi.”

“It’s not funny. Where all did she apply to?”

“Syracuse, Harvard, Brown, Cornell, NYU…”

“Not Fordham though, right?”

“No, Rafa,” Izzy laughed.

“What about Diego?”

“Dawson said he applied to Syracuse, Michigan, Boston University, and NYU I think. Maybe a few other places, I don’t really remember.”

“God, our daughter will lose her mind if he goes to Michigan.”

“Maybe not. They could make it work.”

“Or they could get some distance.”

“Raf come on, she’s been with the same guy for 3 years. That says a lot at their age.”

“I know but I just want her to get a good education before she settles down. I mean I don’t want her sleeping with a different guy every time she turns around but I want her to experience college without being tied down.”

“You mean you don’t want her being like you?”

“Oh, you’re one to talk.”

“Excuse me? I was not with that many guys before you and you’re the only man I’ve been with for going on 27 years.”

“Don’t forget you’ve been with a woman since we’ve been together.”

“Shut up,” she laughed as she hit him with her pillow.

“You can’t deny it. I can, however, because I didn’t touch anybody but you.”

“You started it.”

“I just brought it up. You two took it further.”

“Ugh, you’re a pain in the ass some days. Go to sleep.”

“I love you, too, cariño,” he snickered as he turned off his lamp and cuddled up next to her. Ever since he moved back home, they were both getting much better rest than they did for the 3 months they were apart.


	162. Chapter 162

“Are you serious, Barba?”

“I’m serious, Carisi. We are not doing Thanksgiving this year.”

“That doesn’t sound like you. That’s my sister talking!”

“No, Tony, I’m the one that said it first.”

“No, she’s putting words in your mouth.”

“Don’t you put words in people’s mouths. You put turkey in people’s mouths.”

“Nick this is final. We’re going to spend Thanksgiving at my parents in Brooklyn.”

“First Christmas and now Thanksgiving? I mean what next?”

“Rollins its not that big of a deal. You guys should go spend Thanksgiving in Queens.”

“My mom’s stuffing isn’t as good as your mom’s,” Nick muttered.

“Well, I’m sorry but we thought we should tell you so everyone can start making their own plans.”

“I still get my mom’s stuffing.”

“Shut up, Tony!” Carisi and Nick said simultaneously.

“Sonny we can go to my parents. It will be fine.”

“I suppose you’re right, Carmen. Then we can go to Staten Island after that.”

“Oh, I didn’t say all that.”

“What’s wrong with my family?”

“It’s not your parents.”

“Gina,” Carisi said as he rolled his eyes knowing what Carmen was insinuating.

“She still tacky to Carmen after all these years, seriously?”

“Don’t even get us started, Izz.”

“She’s never thought I was good enough for Sonny.”

“Uh, Carisi, do you not know how to stick up for your wife?”

“I do, Barba. It just doesn’t do any good.”

“Try harder,” Nick told him. “Sonya and Amanda didn’t always get along.”

“No, we did not.”

“I put my foot down. Sonya was the same way with Maria, though. Still, you need to put your down.”

“Or up her ass,” Izzy suggested. “I can do it if you’d like.”

“I’ll handle it, Sarge.” 

 

“Ma, Erin and I told you and Lucia we can handle it.”

“But…”

“Ma! You two go, now! Mike and Alice will be here in a little bit so that’s all the help we need. Plus, I have Emersyn in here working.”

“When did she get so bossy, Lucia?”

“Why are you asking me? You raised her.”

“I think you’ve been in her life since she was about 19.”

“So was my mother. Someone had to teach her how to deal with my son.”

“Will you two go, please?”

“Since you asked nicely, Erin,” Stella said as she smiled at her daughter in law, “I’m sure we can find something to do.”

Anthony, Bill, Tony, Rafael, and Jackson were watching football in Anthony’s man cave while they waited on Mike so Stella and Lucia decided to watch the parade with Hudson and Rhian.

“Mom, I can still go to Diego’s grandmother’s after we eat?”

“Yes. You remember where it is or do me or Uncle Tony need to walk you over?”

“I think he’s gonna come over here. So, I don’t get lost.”

“Okay. When Dawson is ready to leave…”

“I know, Mom. I’ll call and see if you guys are still here or back home.”

“Okay.”

“Am I doing this right?”

“Chop the celery just a little smaller. Other than that, yeah.”

“She’s gonna make Diego a good wife one day.”

“That’s not funny, Erin,” Rafael said sternly as he walked in the kitchen.

“I’m just kidding, Barba. Jeez. You used to have a sense of humor.”

“I can’t wait to see what kind of sense of humor you and Tony have when Arianna gets a boyfriend. How’s everything going in here?”

“Just fine, get your hand out of that,” Izzy said slapping her husband’s hand with a wooden spoon as he tried to sneak one of the snacks she was preparing.

“Jesus Christ,” he said rubbing his hand. “War flashback. We’re getting hungry.”

“I’m working on it. I will have you guys some snacks out in just a minute.”

“Okay. I won’t be back in here for a while.”

“Oh, like that’s the worst place she’s ever slapped you with something wooden.”

“Oh my god, Aunt Erin, I’m right here!”

“I forgot you were back there,” Erin laughed when her niece said that.

“I won’t be back in here at all,” Rafael said as he walked out.

“Good job, Erin.”

“She’s being too quiet.”

“Cause she’s nose deep in her phone. Emersyn pay attention to what you’re doing please.”

“Sorry, Mom.”

“Imagine if we would’ve had that kind of technology available when we first got with Tony and Rafael.”

“I don’t think any of us would’ve graduated,” Izzy laughed.

“We made it!” Alice said as she and Mike walked into the kitchen.

“Hey, guys. Mike the guys are upstairs and to the left.”

“Lucia and Stella told me. I just thought I wouldn’t be rude and come in and say to my sister in law and her sister in law and my lovely niece.”

“Has he been drinking already,” Izzy whispered to Alice.

“Just a couple. Matt called from Budapest, ugh.”

“Let me guess, he’s in a Hungarian prison?”

“Surprisingly, no. He’s got some member of the monarchy pregnant. I don’t know. I just know, Mike does not want to be the one to break the news to Bill but he knows he’s got to.”

“Happy Thanksgiving,” Izzy scoffed.

 

“Everything looks great, girls.”

“Thanks, Pop.”

“You look great,” Rafael whispered as he sat next to his wife.

“Okay, no more scotch for you,” she laughed.

“I’m not drunk. I was just stating a fact,” he smiled as he kissed her cheek

“Okay, you two,” Anthony playfully scolded. “I’ve been dealing with that for almost 27 years. I can’t tell you how many times I used to walk up on these two, practically joined at the hip.”

“Oh, I remember the same thing, Anthony,” Lucia laughed. “You couldn’t keep these two apart if you tried.”

“How we didn’t end up with more grandkids, I’ll never know, Lucia.”

“Okay, that’s enough. Leave them alone, you two,” Stella laughed with tears in her eyes.

“You okay, Ma?” Tony asked.

“Yeah, Tony. It’s just been so long since I’ve had my 4 kids and my grandkids here for Thanksgiving. I know you guys have your own lives and your own little family in the city but it’s nice you’re all here today. And Mike and Alice, Lucia and Bill. I guess we should’ve invited Hank to come out, Erin.”

“He’s actually busy or I probably would have.”

“Okay, so when my kids were growing up, their father and I used to make them tell us what they were thankful for. I’d like to do that this year.”

“Ma…”

“Junior humor your mother.”

“Fine.”

They all listened and laughed, especially with the kids. Rafael just rolled his eyes when his oldest daughter added her boyfriend in her list.

“Well, Rafael. I think it’s your turn.”

“Well, everyone knows, we had a pretty rough year. I guess I’m thankful that we’ve been able to start rebuilding what we thought was gone. I’m thankful for my family, unfortunately that includes Tony…”

“Thanks, man.”

“One thing I am most thankful is that in just a little under a month, I will be celebrating the fact that I have been married to the love of my life for 20 years,” he smiled as he took Izzy’s hand. “And I’m hoping on December 17th, she’ll marry me again.” He said as he placed a small black box in front of her.

“Rafa…”

“You think you can give me 20 more years?”

She didn’t even open the box as she nodded with tears in her eyes. 

“You’re gonna say yes without looking at the ring?”

“Shut up, Tony,” Erin ordered as she elbowed him. 

Rafael rolled his eyes as he took the ring out himself. It was a square emerald with each of the kids birthstones on the sides, set in platinum. “The last two rings I bought you were kind of plain. Thought you could use some color this time.”

“I love it. How are we going to put something together in just a few weeks?”

“I think we’ll have plenty of help.”

“Wait…you all knew about this, didn’t you?”

“Maybe,” Anthony shrugged.

“Why do you think I wouldn’t let Erin drink while you were cooking,” Stella laughed. “We all know the combination to her lock.”

“Thanks, mother in law.”

“Okay, come on. My daughter and daughter in law and my granddaughter cooked all this food. Let’s eat it.”


	163. Chapter 163

“Cariño? What’s wrong?” Rafael said as he found his wife on their bed, in her first wedding dress, crying.

“It doesn’t fit,” she whispered.

“What?”

“My dress. It doesn’t fit anymore.”

“Oh, baby,” he sort of laughed, “that’s okay. You can get a new one.”

“I wanted to wear this one again and I don’t know if there’s time to have it altered.”

“I’m sure there is. Did you really think you’d fit into it after 20 years?”

She just kind of looked at him. 

“I didn’t mean it like that. You’re still as beautiful as you were back then. You think I could wear the same tux I did? No! Come on.”

“You’re right,” she said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’ve had three kids. I couldn’t stay a size 2 forever.”

“And what are you now? A 6?”

“You’re funny. 8.”

“And you think you’re huge? Look, I wouldn’t care if you were a size 20. You’ll always be a perfect 10 to me.”

“You’re sweet.”

“Take this off. We have an appointment with Dr. Lindstrom in 30 minutes.”

“Okay. Hey, I love you, Rafael.”

“I love you, more, Elizabeth.”

“If you say so.”

“Come on, get dressed. I told Emersyn they could order pizza and maybe we’ll have dinner just us after our appointment.”

 

“Sometimes we get comfortable in our lives and we forget to do the work. Think about life as Thanksgiving dinner, since we just passed that and your marriage is the turkey. The turkey's the centerpiece, but once it's in the oven, it's good by itself for a while. So, you start to focus on the sides your kids work house vacations. And all that stuff is great, but you realize you haven't checked on the turkey in a while. You guys have neglected the most important thing…you,” Dr. Lindstrom told them.

 

“Well, we've been working hard at making more time for each other.”

“That’s great, Rafael.”

“Yeah, we’ve just been spending time together, talking, laughing, remember what brought us together in the first place.”

“And you guys got the big 20th anniversary coming up. That’s exciting.”

“Yeah, she’s put up with me for 27 years all together.”

“And that’s really something special. In the short time we’ve been working together, you two have made a lot of progress.”

“So, we’re done here?”

“Not so fast, Izzy,” Dr. Lindstrom laughed.

“What? Oh, he needs more therapy, right?”

“No, she does, I think.”

“I think I can drop you guys back to one session a week. You two still have work to do if you want to make the next 20 years.”

“Yeah, I know we still have work to do but there’s no one I’d rather work with more than my wife,” Rafael said as he took her hand.

“That’s great. Same time next week, okay?”

“Sounds good.”

 

They left and tried to figure out where to have dinner.

“Hey, I got an idea.”

“What’s that?”

“Remember our first official date?”

“Of course, I do but that’s all the way in the Bronx.”

“So? We’ll call Emersyn and tell her we’ll be a little later than we thought.”

“You think that place is still open?”

“I can check,” he said as he pulled his phone out. “How about that? It is. What do you say?”

“Let’s go,” she smiled.

After they ate at the same Chinese place they had their first date at 27 years earlier, they went to the cemetery where Lina was buried. “God, I miss her,” he told his wife as tears filled his eyes.

“I know you do. So do I.”

“I really wish you could’ve met my grandfather. He would’ve adored you just as much as she did.”

“You know, when we separated, I felt I let her down.”

“What do you mean?”

“A few days before she passed away, I was helping her pack her things to move and she made me promise to never give up on you and I did.”

“That wasn’t just you. I was just as guilty. Remember what Dr. Lindstrom said. That was our old marriage, we need to focus on building our new marriage.”

“Maybe if we would’ve seen him first…”

“Hey, we’re here now, we are in the process of fixing us.”

“You’re right.”

“Come on, it’s cold. Let’s get home.”

“You don’t want to go by…”

“No. I know where he is. That’s all I need. Bill’s been a better grandfather than he ever could’ve been. Let’s get home. Rhian and Hudson are driving Emersyn & Diego crazy.”

“Maybe they’ll keep that in mind.”

“We can only hope, mi corazón.”


	164. Chapter 164

“Hey, I finalized the list for the DJ if there’s anything you want to add,” Izzy told Rafael when he walked into her office.

“Looks good…actually there are a few I’d like to add.”

“Go for it and then you can send on if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” he said with a smile. “So, how’s your day been?”

“Fine really. Yours?”

“A few meetings, nothing too exciting. So, are you excited?”

“I am. I go pick up my new dress this afternoon and then I’m taking it to Amanda’s so you can’t see it.”

“Weren’t you the one that got onto Amanda’s ass because she freaked when Nick saw her before they got married?”

“Yes, but I just want you to be surprised.”

“Oh, I was when I saw the credit card bill.”

“Rafa!”

“I’m kidding. You know that. I really wasn’t surprised to be honest. I know your spending habits all too well.”

“Ha ha.”

“Are we really doing this like last time?”

“What do you mean?”

“No sex until we’re married ‘again’?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh. We’ve just gotten back in the swing of things and you’re taking it away?”

“It’s just a couple of weeks. I think you’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, we’ll see. Okay, I guess I need to get back to the courthouse. How about I pick up dinner tonight so you don’t have to worry about cooking?”

“That would be nice. Just get whatever you feel like.”

“Okay,” he said before coming behind her desk to give her a kiss.

“Oh, uh, wow.”

“There’s more where that came from if you don’t hold out on me…”

“Nice try, Rafael,” Izzy laughed.

“It was worth a shot. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She watched him walk out of her office, stopping to talk to Mike for a minute before heading to the elevator. She smiled as she thought about the time he got her out of class to go to Boston for the rest of the day. He made her laugh on the way there and the way back talking about a teacher he had at his high school in the Bronx that had such a thick accent, no one could understand her unless she spoke Spanish.

“What’s so funny?”

“Huh? Nothing, Mike. What’s up?”

He handed her a brown folder. “I know you’ve got the vow renewal coming up and your 2nd honeymoon but…”

“Wait, my what?”

“Fuck! He was wanting that to be a surprise.”

“Where is he taking me, Mike?”

“No! NO! I’m not telling that!”

“Michael William Dodds you better tell me or I will make your life a living hell until we leave.”

“Nope! Nuh-uh. You tell him you know that much and I’m dead already.”

“I know his email password, so ha!”

“He used his work email, so ha ha!”

“Shit. Do my kids know?”

“Not that I’m aware.”

“Who all does?”

“I have no idea besides me.”

“You’re lying.”

“Look, you need to start studying for the Lieutenant’s exam.”

“And if I don’t?”

“You really think Harris is going to allow that?”

“Ugh, fine. I’m gonna break you, you know?”

“I was in Special Forces. Good luck.”

 

“Come on. No strip club this time? Seriously?”

“No, Tony. I already hid one from her and she still found out. Still hasn’t told me how though,” Rafael pondered. “Anyways, no. It’s dinner and drinks and that’s it. I’m going home to my wife without glitter all over me. Dammit!! It took me 3 years to figure it out.”

“You are so whipped,” Stone laughed.

“I’m sorry but who’s the one that’s gotten laid on the regular since he was 21? Any of you? Huh? What? No? That’s what I thought.”

“Leave him alone, guys. You remember how he ditched us on his birthday?” Carisi added.

“And we all know where you went,” Fin chuckled.

“What? What are you talking about? I went home or to my apartment I was living in.”

“BULLSHIT!!!” Tony, Stone, Cassidy, Nick, Carisi, Mike, Dawson, and Fin all said.

“What did you do, check up on me?”

“Your step-brother might’ve pinged your phone,” Dawson answered.

“Oh, bad enough that you let it slip I’m taking her on what was supposed be a surprise 2nd honeymoon but you…okay. That’s fine. Ask Carisi how long I can hold a grudge.”

“Don’t remind me. I still hurt just thinking about that. You and Amaro jerking the controller back and forth made it so much worse.”

“We all got the video from Rollins. That was award-winning television.”

“Funny, Cassidy.”

“You still have it don’t you?”

“Somewhere I think. I don’t remember Carmen ever getting rid of it, Nick.”

“Hey, how bad do you think it would hurt with all of us having some alcohol in them?”

“No, Amaro! I’m not doing it again.”

“You put up with it better than me and Carisi; even though you did you wanted punch your wife in the face.”

“She was coming across very patronizing! I can only imagine how bad I got on her nerves.”

“Hey, Barba seriously, man, I wanted to thank you for you guys including me and Amanda in your wedding.”

“Yeah, me and Melinda, too.”

“Hey, we couldn’t just pick Nick and Amanda along with Tony and Erin. I mean you’re all our family, so it made sense to include all of you. This is so much bigger than our first wedding with the guest list and everything so the bigger wedding party was to be expected. That’s what my wife said anyways.”

“I was best man last time.”

“Well, I’m sorry, Nick is this time, Tony. Besides, you were the only man last time. Talk to your sister. Amanda’s maid of honor or whatever this time. Erin’s fine with it. I’m just trying to make this day special for your sister. ¿Entiendes?”

“Yeah, I understand. I’m just giving you hell.”

“What about the older kids?”

“Well, Dawson, my daughter didn’t want to be away from your son apparently so she is escorting her grandfather and Jack came up with idea to escort his grandmothers.”

“Makes sense, I suppose.”

“If those two make us grandfather’s before I turn 55, so help me god.”

“Trust me. I’ve given him the speech several times. I’m too good looking to be a grandfather just yet.”

“Excuse me?” Fin asked.

“I think it’s time to call it a night,” Carisi laughed.

 

“Baby…”

“No.”

“Izz.”

“No.”

“Elizabeth.”

“Calling my name in that tone is not going to stop me from saying no.”

“Just touch it. One time.”

“Give me a break, Raf,” she laughed. “You’ve got two more nights.”

“I’m tired of doing it myself. I spent months doing that.”

“I’ll make you a deal. You tell me where you’re taking me and I’ll do…something.”

“Nope. Hmm-mmm,” he shook his head. “You might just touch it one time after I tell you and leave me with the rest of the job…pun intended. Do something and then I’ll tell you.”

“Yeah, okay. Have fun in the shower.”

“Fine,” he said as he threw the covers off of him and went into their bathroom. She laughed as she heard the water start and the slamming of the cabinet for him to get a towel and whatever else, all while muttering to himself in Spanish. She decided to get up and see if he really was in the shower or screwing with her. Sure enough, he was in there. She couldn’t help but find herself watching her husband and it started getting to her a little. She was going to have to snap out of it before she just got in the shower herself. She knew his tell so just as he was getting there, she opened the shower door.

“Are you finished?!”

“Goddammit, are you trying to give me another heart attack?!”

“No. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“You think you’re so damn funny,” he said as he grabbed her into the shower in her pjs.

“Rafael! Dammit!”

“You want to fuck with me some more?”

They both just started laughing. 

“You’re an asshole,” he told her once he composed himself.

“I had to do something. I was getting hot…”

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing.”

“I see,” he said as he backed her into the shower wall and started kissing her neck. He pulled off her soaked tank top and threw it behind him. Next went her shorts and panties. 

“Raf, come on.”

“Just finish what I started,” he whispered. “I’ll take care of you, too. You know you need it.”

“Okay,” she agreed with an uneven breath.


	165. Chapter 165

“Okay, so Tony and Nick will be here to pick me up in a few minutes.”

“Are you nervous?”

“No more than I was 20 years ago,” Rafael smiled. 

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going tomorrow?”

“After you marry me again, I’ll tell you.”

“Well, that’s incentive enough.”

“You’re gonna like it, I promise. I think you’ll be pretty surprised, actually.”

“Really?”

“It’s somewhere you’ve always wanted to go.”

“That’s a lot of places.”

“I know, mi amor,” he said with that smirk of his. “That’s why this has been so much fun for me.”

“I think your friends are here.”

“I better get the boys. I can’t wait to see you.”

“No, you certainly cannot,” she smiled.

“I’ll see you in Brooklyn in a few hours. Boys! Let’s go!”

“We’re coming!”

With that, Rafael and his sons were out the door headed to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens where they were married exactly 20 years before.

 

“Okay, what’s everybody’s problem?” Izzy asked once she was in her lace cap sleeve V-neck illusion back A-line floor length dress.

“You just look so beautiful,” Liv said with tears in her eyes.

“You really do.”

“Melinda I expected more from you.”

“Leave your friends alone,” Lucia scolded, well as much as she could. “They’re not wrong.”

“Amanda do you have…”

“His new ring? Got it.”

“Okay, good. I don’t want Hudson getting it until…”

“I know. Calm down.”

“I’m calm. I’m calm. I’m just about to recommit myself for at least 20 more years to the same man and we were separated for 3 months before this. Is this the right thing to do? I mean what if things are fine and then…”

“Okay, she’s spiraling. She did this the last time. Sylvie get her a drink,” Erin instructed. “Izz? Look at me. Breathe.”

“I’m gonna be sick, Erin.”

“No, no, you’re not. You didn’t get sick last time. You’re just nervous. You guys have been through a lot but you know as well as I and everyone else in this room, you two love each other. Nothing is ever going to stop that.”

“You’re right, Erin. Thanks, Sylvie,” Izzy said as she took the glass of scotch from her. “You all look really great,” she told her bridesmaids as they stood around her in their plum colored dresses. They each had a different style but the same color.

“I hope everyone’s decent.”

“Jackson Anthony, you are not in here to spy are you?”

“No, Mom. I swear. I just came to see if my beautiful grandmother’s were almost ready to go to their seats.”

“Such a kiss ass,” Izzy laughed.

“And we have such a handsome escort, don’t we, Lucia?”

“Yes, Stella. Looks just like his dad.”

“Okay. That means it’s almost time.”

“Carmen’s right,” Liv chimed in. “I guess we should get ready.”

“Sylvie, I need a favor.”

“What’s that?”

“I need to see Dawson.”

“Right now?”

“Right now. I just need to talk to him.”

“Okay.”

“And Nick!”

“Come on, Amanda.”

 

“What? Right now? It’s almost time to start.”

“Sonny!”

“What’s up, Sylvie?”

“I need you to stall everyone for about 5 minutes so Izzy can talk to Dawson and Nick.”

“Is she okay?” Rafael asked as he walked up.

“She’s fine, Barba,” Amanda said, trying to play it off.

“Rollins.”

“She’s a little nervous.”

“Okay. You guys go.”

“You sure, Barba?”

“Yeah, Nick. You two are her best friends, other than Amanda and Erin,” he corrected himself, noticing Amanda was about to do it herself. “We can start when you get back.”

“We won’t be long, Barba.”

“Okay, Dawson.”

 

“Hey, Izz. You okay?”

“I am freaking out for some reason, Antonio.”

“Okay, calm down. What can we do?” Nick asked.

“Tell me everything is going to be okay.”

“You know it is,” Dawson said as he sat beside her and put his arm around her. “Remember when we were in the eighth grade and Vanessa Roberts had another boyfriend besides me? I found out and I rode my bike to your house as fast as I could and cried.”

“Yeah.”

“I asked what was going to happen now? You said nothing because nothing had to. Everything was going to be ok and when I asked how could I know that, you said…”

“Because you know it is. People come in our lives for a reason and people leave our lives for a reason, too.” 

“Right and Rafael came into yours for a reason and he’s never left. He never will. You know that.”

“He’s right, Izz,” Nick agreed.

“Okay. You guys are right. I’m too in my head.”

“Stop worrying. We will be back here in 20 more years doing the same thing for you guys. So, can we go let him know you’re okay?”

“Yeah, Dawson.”

“Alright, let’s go, Amaro.”

“Okay, you ready?”

“Yeah, I am, Amanda. Thanks.”

“Everything okay?”

“It’s fine, Pop.”

“You sure? I have very pale son-in-law right now which is unnatural.”

“I think you’re more worried about him than you are her, Anthony,” Erin joked.

“I like him better than I like your husband,” Anthony teased back. “Okay, Amanda, Erin split. The music is starting.”

“We’re gone.”

“Well, you look beautiful, baby.”

“Pop, I’m 46.”

“You’re still my baby. That’ll never change. Just some other things. Well, I think it’s almost your turn.”

“I’m ready.”

“Let’s go then. You’ve already scared him half to death, just like last time.”

“Gotta keep him on his toes.”

“And you wonder why he had a heart attack almost 5 years ago.”

“Funny, Dad. Let’s go.”

As soon as Rafael seen his wife, his heart literally jumped into his throat. He watched as Anthony walked her up the very same aisle to him and he just smiled. They had come so far and were nowhere finished yet.

 

“Okay, are you finally going to tell me where we’re going?” She asked after he rushed her into a coatroom while everyone else cleared out. 

“First things first,” he said as he threw his jacket and vest in the floor and pulled his suspenders down, while he kissed her.

“Raf…”

“Uh-huh. No talking. Not much time.”

“Watch…my…dress.”

“Oh, I did,” he said once he got her panties down around one of her ankles and lined up to push into her perfectly.

“Oh god! Hmm-mmm,” she let out before biting her bottom lip to try and stay quiet.

“No one can hear us. Too much…ahhh noise. Fuck!”

 

“Psst. Dawson come here!”

“What is it, Erin?”

“Listen.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“I told you. Did I not tell you? I think you owe me $100.”

“Get away from the door before we draw attention to ourselves.”

“I want my money, Dawson!”

“Shh!! You’ll get it later. Damn be cool. Look, they’re gonna come out like they weren’t just in there screwing.”

“Some things never change,” Erin laughed. 

Rafael took his wife’s hand as they walked by Erin and Dawson, who had looks plastered on their faces that showed they had heard went on in the coatroom. Rafael didn’t miss his chance to throw that smirk their way as he “straightened” his jacket.

 

“So, will you tell me now?”

“Where was your favorite grandmother born?”

“My Dad’s mom? Uh, Atrani, Salerno on the Amalfi Coast…are you serious?”

“Absolutely. We leave for Italy tomorrow.”

“Rafa…I can’t believe you…”

“I know you’ve always wanted to go to Italy and you were very close to your Nonna Giada so I asked your Dad where she was born.”

“This is the most wonderful you’ve ever done for me.”

“I told you you’d like it. Here, don’t mess up your make-up before pictures.”

“That went out the window earlier,” she laughed through her tears.

 

“Dear god, if Diego’s hands travel any lower, I’m gonna send his dad to break them.”

“Hush, Raf. They’re cute.”

“It looks like you and Dawson out there. Kind of creepy.”

“Well, we did go to prom together. Come on, dance with your wife.”

“Again?”

“Please?”

“Oh, how can I say no to those brown eyes? They’ve always been my weakness. Well them and that ass.”

“Stop. You talk about Diego’s hands traveling?”

“We’re married.”

“So? My entire family is here, half the NYPD, the Mayor, McCoy…”

“Point taken, cariño,” he said as he pushed a piece of hair that came out of the braid that went across the top of her head out of her face. “I know I’ve told you this 1,000 times already but you really do look…what ever attracted you to me?”

“Rafa.”

“Come on.”

“Your smile then your eyes, this beautiful face in general.”

“Uh, look at Hudson and Jesse.”

They couldn’t help but laugh as they watched their son and Amanda’s daughter dancing.

“He’s got his dad’s moves.”

“Let’s hope not.”

“He’s only 7 so I think we’re safe for now.”

“Another drink, mi amor?”

“Sure.”

They met Nick and Amanda at the bar as they had just come off the dance floor, too. They were talking and laughing when they witnessed their 7-year-olds share, what they were hoping was their first kiss, even if Jesse just kissed Hudson on the cheek.

“Barba keep your son away from my daughter,” Nick laughed.

“Little late for that. They did bathe together when they were little,” Amanda retorted.

“Hey, Barba, you mind if I dance with your wife?”

“Up to her, Dawson.”

“Oh, what the hell. Come on.”

“Do you remember when we danced to this song?” He asked referring the Rolling Stones “Mixed Emotions”.

“I’m gonna say prom.”

“Yep and I was going to tell you that night that I liked you and was going to ask you out for the summer and to see if we could try to stay together when we went off to college.”

“Antonio.”

“I’m so glad I lost the nerve.”

“Really?”

“Yep. I saw you at Christmas and knew I would’ve never stood a chance next to Mr. Harvard and I met Laura. While we didn’t work out, she gave me two pretty great kids. Now there’s Sylvie. I’m gonna tell you something but you cannot tell Erin cause you know her.”

“What is it?”

“I’m asking her to marry me next week on Christmas.”

“What?!”

“Shh!”

“Sorry. Oh my god, Dawson that is so exciting. I’m happy for you. I won’t even tell Rafael.”

“Isn’t it kind of scary to see our kids together? I mean it’s a little weird, isn’t it?”

“Rafael made the same comment earlier. It is kind of surreal.” She looked over and saw him sitting with Rhiannon in his lap. 

“Papi, I saw Diego kissing Emersyn.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I want a boy to kiss me.”

“Not till I’m dead, princesa. Not until I’m dead. Until then you only get kisses from me,” he said as he kissed her on the cheek.

“Is the party almost over, Papi? I’m getting tired.”

“Uh, I think you’re going to leave with Abuela and Papa Dodds when they’re ready.”

“So, you and Mami can go on vacation?”

“Yes, but we’ll be back in plenty of time for Christmas.”

“Jackson said when you stayed at that one place we would visit, you and Mami were going to get a bivorce?”

“A divorce, you mean?”

“I think so.”

“Mami and I were never in any danger of that happening. I promise. Never were and never will be. We will always be together.”

“I hope so because I missed you a lot.”

“I missed all of you. I’m not going anywhere ever again.”

 

When Izzy threw her bouquet, who should catch it but her daughter. That wasn’t happening as Rafael walked by and took it from her. “Sylvie heads up!”

“Dad!! So unfair!!”

“Don’t care.”

“Ugh!!!” She let out as she stormed off to her mother.

“Yes, I saw and I’m staying out of this.”

“Dad doesn’t even believe in that kind of stuff.”

“Yeah, but he’s not taking any chances.”

“It’s not like we’d get married tomorrow.”

“You have to go to and graduate college and then get a job first.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“And while we’re gone, please listen to your grandparents and don’t be trying to pull anything over on them.”

“I won’t, Mom.”

“Thank you.”

“I can still stay with Zara tonight, though, right?”

“Yes, and then you are to meet Jackson and go straight to Brooklyn.”


	166. Chapter 166

“Okay! That’s enough! Stop arguing!”

“She’s my friend, Jackson!”

“Whoa! What the hell happened last night?”

“He kissed Zara!”

“I…Uh…excuse me? When did this happen?”

“It was before he left with Uncle Antonio and Aunt Sylvie.”

“Does your Mom know about this?”

“Does Mom know about what,” Izzy asked as she came from a little last minute packing.

“Jack kissed Zara at our reception last night and Emmie’s not happy.”

“Uh…is there something going on…”

“No. I don’t know. I mean, we were just outside talking and it just happened.”

“What happened to Serena?”

“We’re taking a break.”

“Your mom and I have an almost 13 hour flight ahead of us, with a 3 hour stop in Munich and we have to deal with this now?”

“Yeah, come on, Emersyn. This isn’t a big deal.”

“It’s not, Mom? Did you not get upset when Aunt Erin and Uncle Tony…”

“No, I didn’t. They could make their own decisions.”

“Listen, Jackson, you need to talk to Zara about what that meant.”

“I know, Dad.”

“I do not need to deal with your Uncle Nick…”

“I got it. I’ll talk to her.”

“Okay, do you guys have everything you need for the week?”

“Yeah. When will you be back?”

“December 23rd. Don’t get any ideas about coming home and trying to find your Christmas presents because they’re not here,” Rafael laughed.

“We already know that.”

“Okay, the car is here to take you two to Brooklyn and so is the one to take us to the airport.”

“Have fun.”

“No kids fighting for a week? What could be more fun than that?”

 

After three hours in Germany, they finally landed in Naples then they had about an hour and half car ride to their hotel. “You know we have a little time…”

“I think that beer in Germany is still in your system, Rafa,” she giggled as he ran the tip of his tongue lightly up her next to her earlobe, gently taking it between his teeth, his hand going up her sweater. 

“It’s been a long time since we’ve done it in a car and we’ve never done it in a moving car.”

“Raf…”

“He can’t hear or see us,” he whispered as his thumb ran over her lips before he replaced it with his own lips, his tongue lightly massaged hers. “Lay back.”

She wanted to protest but he had her too weak to be able to as she did what he said. He lifted her shirt just enough to leave a trail of kisses down her flat stomach as he unbuttoned her pants. He kept working his lips and mouth down as he pulled her pants and panties down. She shuddered as his tongue made contact with her clit. He kept going at her, hungrily in the back of the limo until her back arched while she grabbed his hair. She caught her breath as she came down from her high.

“Did you like that?”

“What do you think?”

“I’m gonna say yes,” he said with that smirk as he wiped his chin.

“Is that all I get?”

“For now. We should be arriving at our hotel in about 20 minutes. We’ll get settled and then…go from there?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

“What did she say?” Rafael asked as Izzy got them checked in.

“She told me where the room is and that our luggage will be up in about 15 minutes. You know, I tried to teach you but you insisted that if we had kids, Spanish was going to be more useful than Italian.”

“Was I wrong?”

“We live in New York! We could teach them Russian and they’d be able to use it,” she laughed as they got into the elevator.

“True.”

“So, is this what I’m going to do the entire time we’re here, translate for you?”

“What about when we went to Mexico for our first honeymoon?”

“I was able to order for myself and speak to the resort staff.”

“Oh yeah.”

“You kept trying to speak for me, remember?”

“You’re right. I did. I didn’t realize how much you had picked up in 7 years.”

“A lot obviously.”

“I’m a good teacher.”

“Oh, shut up. Here’s our room. Oh, Raf it’s beautiful.”

“It better be for what it cost us.”

“Is that what you’re going to do this week? Talk about how much everything is costing?”

“No, of course not. So, shall we continue what we started in the car?”

“I don’t know. I’m pretty tired from such a long flight.”

“Is that right,” he asked as he grabbed her by her ass, causing her to fall onto the bed in laughter. “Maybe I need to wake you up.”

Their hands roamed through each other’s hair, up and down their bodies. It went on forever.

“Fuck!”

“What? What?”

“I can’t…you know.”

“Babe we were on a plane for half a day. We sat in Germany for 3 hours. You had a few beers…”

“I couldn’t get hard when I went down on you.”

“Again…”

“Yeah. I know. Look, we have reservations for dinner in 5 hours. Why don’t we try and take a nap?”

“That’ll be fine,” she smiled.

 

“Raf?”

“Hmm?”

“Didn’t you say we had a reservation for dinner?”

“Yeah. For…shit. We slept for 6 hours?”

“I guess so. Damn.”

“Well, I’m sure we can find something around here. Maybe not the dinner I had planned…”

“It’s Italy, babe. We can find something to eat.”

“Okay, well, let’s get up.”

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Rafael responded curtly.

“Uh-uh,” she said as she quickly wrapped her arms arounds his waist to stop him from going anywhere.

“Izz let me go so we can get something to eat.”

“Stop. You’re shutting down and why?”

“Really?”

“Will you stop worrying about that right now?”

“How can we rebuild anything if one of the things that we enjoy about each other can’t happen?”

“Honey it’s just sex.”

“Just sex, huh? Okay. Well, tell me that in a year when you decide that you can’t be with me anymore because we haven’t had sex since the night we renewed our vows.”

“You are putting too much pressure on this and yourself. Besides, there are things…”

“I refuse to rely on pharmaceuticals to get my dick hard. Let’s go eat, okay? And not fucking talk about my non-functioning dick.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you like that.”

“Fine. I’ll be back.”

“Have fun, you no Italian speaking asshole,” she muttered as he walked out the door. It was day one of their 2nd honeymoon and things were not anything like she expected them to be. She was laying on the bed, upset. He left, upset, and all over something neither of them could control. He couldn’t control what was going on with his body and she couldn’t control his anger over the situation.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mami!”

“Hey, Rhian! Hey Hudson!”

“They missed your call earlier so I thought I’d let them call you now.”

“Thanks, Lucia.”

“Where’s Rafi?”

“Uh, he stepped out for just a minute.”

“Are you okay, mija? You look like you’ve been crying.”

“The weather is getting to me. That’s all.”

“Okay.”

“Mami when will you be home?”

“Right before Christmas, Hudson. I promise.”

“Where’s Papi?”

“He went to get me some medicine.”

“Sorry you’re sick on your vacation.”

“I’ll be okay.”

“Okay, kids, tell Mami you love her and you’ll see her soon, okay?”

“Okay, Abuela. We love you and we miss you.”

“I love and miss you guys, too. Be good for Abuela and Papa Dodds, okay?”

“We are.”

“Okay.”

“Tell my son to call me when he gets back, will you?”

“Sure, Lucia.”

“Okay. Love you guys. Don’t stay in your room the whole time. Get out and enjoy Italy.”

“Yeah we will.”

 

“Hello?”

“Hey, I’m not bothering you, am I?”

“Not at all, Izz. Nick, turn down the TV, I can’t hear Izzy. How’s Italy?”

“I’m calling you so how do you think it is?”

“I’m sorry, hun. What happened?”

“Just a stupid argument…I wouldn’t even call it an argument. He got mad over something stupid and I told him I wasn’t going out with him acting like that so he left me here.”

“You guys were doing so good.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Wipe your eyes and go get a drink.”

“Amanda…”

“Don’t let whatever is causing him to be an asshole keep you from at least enjoying the scenery. I’m sure there’s a bar in your hotel. Just go have a drink or two and relax.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Okay.”

“Let me know if things get better. Love you.”

“Love you, too, Amanda.”

 

“Ospite dell'Hotel (Guest of the hotel)?” The bartender asked as she sat down.

“Sì. Camera (room) 2145.”

“Ah, sì. Signora Barba. Cosa posso portarvi (Ah yes. Mrs. Barba. What can i get for you?)”

“Il tuo scotch più costoso e farne un doppio (Your most expensive scotch and make it a double).”

“Non c'è problema.”

“I’ll have what she’s having,” she heard a voice say.

“Uh, sorry, sir. The lady is married,” the bartender spoke in perfect English.

“I know. I’m her husband.”

“My mistake. I’ll get that drink. Your Italian is perfect, if I may say so, Mrs. Barba.”

“Thank you. Full blood Italian American from Brooklyn, New York.”

“First time in Italy?”

“Yes. We’re on our second honeymoon,” Rafael answered for his wife.

“Well, congratulations. Let me know if I can be of help during your stay.”

“Thank you.”

“So, is that what you’re actually calling it?”

“I’m sorry about earlier.”

“Your mom had the kids call.”

“Sorry I missed that. Are they doing okay?”

“Yeah, seem to be.”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Yeah. I heard you.”

“Do you believe me?”

“Yeah.”

“Then look at me, mi amor.”

She did as he asked. 

“I planned this all, I wanted it to be perfect, and I’ve managed to screw it all up since we got to our room. Can I try to make it up to you?”

“How do you plan on doing that?”

“Let’s finish our drinks and go back to the room.”


	167. Chapter 167

“What’s all this?” Izzy asked as she walked into their room to find a table with dinner waiting.

“Nick called.”

“Oh.”

“I came back and you weren’t here. I didn’t think you went too far, really, so I took the time to order dinner to be brought up.”

“Thank you.”

“Come on,” he smiled as he took her hand. They sat and feasted on baked clams and chicken scarpariello with sausage, and then of course, no Italian meal was complete without dessert, which was pasticciotti. They talked and laughed while they ate. Rafael remembered when he met Izzy’s Nonna Giada and he couldn’t understand anything she said because she spoke very little English. 

“She loved you, though.”

“I remember when we, well you, told her you were pregnant. I didn’t think she was ever going to let me go.”

“I was her favorite. I just wish she could’ve held on a little longer.”

“I know, baby,” he said as he took her hand and ran his thumb over it to comfort her. “But you know…”

“I know, Rafa.”

“Are you done?”

“I am. I have eaten too much.”

“I don’t think it’s going to affect you too much,” he replied with a smile. “Hey?”

“Yeah?”

“Dance with me?”

“Sure.”

He had bluetoothed his phone to the Bose in their room. Coldplay’s 2002 hit “The Scientist” started playing. If any song described everything they had been through in the last year, it was that one; even if it was 20 years old. They just stared into each other’s eyes as they danced. He was barely 4 inches taller than her but to her, he seemed so much bigger, always had.

 

He closed the 4 inches between them as he kissed her. It was hard and full of passion as they both let out moans when their lips met. He slowly backed her over to the bed as they continued kissing. Soon, her UGGS were gone as were the leggings she had changed into earlier and her panties. He hadn’t shaved in a few days but he always had the softest facial hair; she loved when it brushed against her inner thighs. “Come up here,” he whispered as he moved to the top of the bed and laid on his back.

“Raf…”

“Have a seat,” he smiled.

She knew what that meant as she threw her sweater onto the floor. He grabbed her ass and held her against him as he started in on her. She couldn’t stand it but in a good way. All she could was moan his name before she reached back to feel that “junior” had decided to join the party. She started to lightly stroke him but he grabbed her arm and brought it back around.

“Let me take care of you, first, Elizabeth.”

It wasn’t too much long and he had her taken care of. “Your turn?”

“Not quite. Lay down on your stomach.”

“Okay.”

She soon smelt lavender as his huge hands began massaging her shoulders then her back as he straddled her ass and kissed her neck. She could feel his erection rubbing against her ass. He had her so relaxed but she wanted him inside of her more than anything. He knew it when she reached around for him.

“Not yet, cariño. How about a glass of champagne?”

“Um, sure,” she said as she pulled the sheet up around her when he got off the bed. “Strawberries, too?”

“Remember?”

“Yes, I do. I went to Chicago after we had that huge fight…”

“Because you thought there was something going between me and your commanding officer. You should’ve known better, my love.”

“I know.”

“We’ve both had our fits of jealousy over the years. Mine have usually centered around Dawson. But enough about everyone else. This is about you and me; Rafael and Izzy. No one else.”

He started to feed her a strawberry dipped in champagne but she took it from him and gave it to him instead. “Well, we can do that, too,” he smiled.

The strawberries and champagne were eventually gone, his cock was still erect as he started kissing her neck.

“Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck me?”

“Is that what you want?”

“Please. I need Papi tonight.”

“He needs you, too…putita,” he growled. Granted that word was terrible but when it comes to dirty talk some things aren’t always off limits and it sent chills through her, cause it signaled that Rafael’s so-called alter ego was taking over.

 

After slamming into his wife for 30 minutes, him on top, then behind her, then on top once more as they came together, he wrapped his muscular arms around her. “I love you, Izz.”

“I love you more, Rafa.”

“If you say so. Listen, can we talk?”

“Of course, baby.”

“I want you to know how sorry I am about earlier.”

“Raf…”

“Stop, okay?” He pleaded. “I mean I know I told you what the problem was but I was still embarrassed and then I got even more embarrassed about how I was acting about the situation. That’s why I left.”

“Babe.”

“Look, I know our sex life isn’t the only part of our relationship but you and I both know it’s important. If I can’t function in that capacity, well, I get a little upset, because I feel I’ve failed you.”

She sat up, turned to him, and took his face in her hand. “You listen to me right now, Rafael Eduardo Barba. You have never once failed me. Remember 9/11? You left work, went to my parents, my mom gave you her ride, and you came straight to Harvard for me. You have always put me first.”

“It’s because…”

“I’ve listened to you so you listen to me. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Even when we were separated, you defended me with Jack. I can’t list all the times you have been in my corner. I love you so much for everything you have done for me over the years.”

He couldn’t help but tear up as his wife spoke. 

“And honey, that always happens after we have a long travel day, you know that. Remember the trip to Niagara Falls with Tony and Erin? We drove from Brooklyn all the way up there, you two smoked pot, and when we got to our room, nothing was happening…south of the border?”

“Oh, Jesus, I forgot about that,” he laughed. 

“It’s always been long travel, stress, too much pot, or too much alcohol…like that night 4 years ago after all that tequila with Nick and Sonny and you almost beat the hell out of Stone?”

“Oh yeah,” he replied, sort of embarrassed by the memory.

“I mean you made up for it the next day; but those are the only reasons Rafael Jr hasn’t come out to play. I need you to realize that.”

“You’re right, mi amor. God, I can be so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid. You only have enough blood to run you brain or your dick but not both at the same time.”

“Is that right,” he laughed as he started tickling her.

“Stop! Come on! I’ve given birth to two of your children and we don’t know what could happen.”

“I’m done.”

“God, I love you, Rafa.”

“Not as much as I love you, Izzy. I remember the first time I said that to you.”

“You do?”

“Yep. We were making love in your dorm. You thought I just said it, huh?”

“Yeah,” she admitted.

“I had been wanting to tell you forever, or what seemed like forever. It just came out and I was like ‘Uhhhhhh, what the fuck do I do?’. You didn’t say it back and I was like ‘okay she think I didn’t mean it’ but I did.”

“I remember you explaining once we finished,” Izzy laughed.

“I never thought I would feel this way about anyone. I thought about you for weeks until I saw you at the library that night.”

“Damn, you were so cute that night.”

“Was I?”

“The gray Harvard hoodie, khaki shorts, and flip-flops. Your hair was pushed back.”

“I knew you liked me.”

“Knock it off, Barba.”

“So, sorry, Barba,” he chuckled.


	168. Chapter 168

They laid on the couch in their room as Italian TV played in the background the next morning, trying to decide what to do after they ate breakfast. She noticed a smile on his face as he scrolled through his phone.

“What are you smiling about?”

“Uh, my memories on facebook from this day. Look,” he said as he showed her a picture of Emersyn and her from 2009.

“Wow. Seems like a lifetime ago.”

“Remember the first time she got sick?”

“She was what, 6 months old?”

“Yeah. God, we FREAKED.”

“You freaked, Rafa.”

“You were just as bad. We woke your mom and my mom up at 2 in the morning cause we were so scared.”

“Turned out to be an ear infection.”

“We were a lot better with Jack.”

“You know, Jack and Emersyn were so easy to potty train but Hudson and Rhiannon were awful!”

“Hudson peed everywhere but the toilet.”

“I’m the one that caught him peeing on the balcony of our old apartment! People below that were walking by were probably like ‘what the fuck? That’s some warm fucking rain.”

“I sat at my desk and laughed so hard while you told me. Rollins was laughing and had no idea why.”

“Our kids, I swear. Wow.”

“What?”

“I just was looking and found this one.”

“When we went to Miami with your mom so she could visit her cousin.”

“We took Emersyn and Jack to the beach. They had so much fun. We all did. Jackson stripped his clothes and got in the water in all his naked glory.”

“That kid did not care,” Izzy laughed.

“Now, Emersyn will be leaving for college in just a few months. Jackson just turned 16, Hudson just turned 7. Rhiannon will be 5 in the spring. Doesn’t seem like that long ago we brought her home. You know, I’ve always felt that we didn’t pick her, she picked us.”

“I’d agree with that, Rafa,” Izzy smiled at her husband. “She loved you the moment she met you.” 

“What do you say we go check out a few of the churches around here and see what we could get into after that?”

“You bet.”

 

They sat eating lunch at a small café and could hear a couple, well into their 70s or 80s having a small argument behind them. Izzy translated for her husband and both of them got tickled at the ridiculousness of the argument. “What are you going to be doing when you’re 85,” Rafael said with a smile after taking a drink of his coffee.

“Hmm,” she thought out loud, “squabbling with you?”

“Wouldn’t that be nice?” He chuckled.

“So, what do you want to do the rest of the day?”

“You want to go back to the hotel and just relax? Maybe call the kids? Wait what time is it back home? Yeah, they should be awake.”

“Call them now.”

“Mi scusi, signorina?” The older woman that had been arguing with her husband behind them said to Izzy. They began to carry on a small conversation and laugh. Rafael understood New York, 20, Cuban, and a few other words as his wife and the woman talked.

“What was that about?”

“She was asking if we were married, how long, if we had kids, where we were from.”

“Oh.”

“And she said you were very handsome.”

“Really?” He said with that smirk.

“Shut up,” she laughed. “And she apologized for their argument, to which I lied and said we weren’t paying attention. She told me that they had just celebrated their 60th anniversary and that we reminded her of her and her husband when they were our age.”

“I see. So, I guess we have something to look forward to,” he laughed. 

“Call the kids.”

“Which ones?”

“Call your mom first.”

“Hey Rafi.”

“Hola, Mami. Izzy and I were wanting to talk to the kids.”

“Oh, well your step-dad took them out for breakfast this morning so I could get some work around the house done.”

“Oh, okay.”

“How’s your trip so far?”

“Uh, it’s been good, Mami. Really good.”

“Uh-huh and why was my daughter in law crying when I called last night?”

“Uh…”

“What did you do, Rafael?”

“It was something stupid but everything’s fine now.”

“It better be. I swear if you make her cry again before I die, you’ll regret it.”

“Okay, well, I gotta go, Mom. We have a reservation.”

“You’re lying, I can see it in your eyes.”

“N-n-n-o I’m not. We really do.”

“You’re sitting at what looks like a restaurant but you have a reservation? Nice try, mijo.”

“Okay, Mami but we do have something planned.”

“Okay, well I’ll have the kids call you when Bill gets back with them. Love you.”

“Love you, too, Mom. Why are you laughing?” He asked his wife.

“I’m not.” 

“I’m almost 50 years-old and my mother can still make me feel like a child.”

“Come on, you big baby,” Izzy smiled as she took her husband’s hand.

 

“God, of course the phone would ring right now,” Rafael laughed as he broke away from his wife as they had been rolling around on their bed.

“Who is it?”

“Carmen. Yeah? No, it’s fine. Uh-huh. Okay. Top right hand drawer of my desk. Did you find it? Okay. I said it’s fine, Carmen. You sound like your husband. I will. Bye. So, Carmen says hi.”

“Oh,” Izzy laughed.

“Sorry, mi amor. Now…I think, I was working on a mark right about here,” he growled as he went back to the spot on her neck he had been sucking.

“God, Raf…”

“Who?”

“Papi.”

“Much better. Papi is feeling greedy today.”

“What does Papi want?”

“I want your mouth on me.”

“And then?”

“And then Papi wants to fuck that tight pussy and make you come all over my cock.”

“Keep talking.”

“And the last thing Papi wants, is to make you scream by putting my dick in your ass.”

They did everything he said and in that order. Their orgasms were so powerful, they were both shaking when they finished.

“I didn’t think I was going to make it much longer,” he panted.

“That was…so…good.”

“Too bad I didn’t think to pack any toys.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t.”

“I didn’t want to try to explain that to customs,” he laughed. “Why don’t you get in the tub and I’ll order something to eat?”

“How about you get in the tub with me then you can order something to eat?”

“I like your idea better,” he smiled.

They laid in the water and relaxed. “Remember that tub in our first apartment?”

“The clawfoot tub? Yes. I loved that.”

“You’d come in from Harvard and the first thing you’d do is get in that tub,” he laughed.

“My tub in my apartment in Cambridge sucked. It wasn’t big enough for me to really relax in.”

“I’d come home from work and if you weren’t in my bed waiting for me, I always knew where to find you.”

“You couldn’t get out of your suit quick enough, either.”

“Well, I never used the tub unless you were there. I never understood the concept of just stewing in your own filth.”

“You’ve always liked baths with me.”

“That’s because I like the wet, naked lady. Big difference.”

“Not a big enough of difference with your mouth from then to now.”


	169. Chapter 169

“How was your trip?” Emersyn asked when her parents walked in.

“It was great. Very beautiful,” Izzy answered as she sat down the luggage she had been carrying.

“Great. What did you bring us?”

“Uh, us?” Rafael replied. “I think your parents getting home safely, in time for Christmas, should be enough.”

“You’re serious?”

“Christmas is just a couple of days away. You’ll be getting plenty, I assure you, mija.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Where’s your brothers and sister?”

“Their rooms. Since you guys are home, can I go to…”

“Yeah, go,” Rafael interrupted his daughter.

“I’ll be back later. Glad you guys are home.”

“Sure, she is. We walk in, empty handed, and she bolts for her boyfriend’s,” he scoffed.

“You remember what it was like when you were in love at 17?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“Now you always said Lauren was good to you.”

“She was. It was the one after her. I was still 17 when we finally got together, remember?”

“Yes, I do.”

“But the one that came into my life after her…”

“Which one?”

“Not any of the one-night stands, smartass,” he smiled as he tilted his head to kiss her. “I’m talking about the one that I pissed off the first time we met.”

“That could be anybody.”

“Get over here, cariño.”

“Ummm…tsk, tsk, tsk. You said boys aren’t supposed to kiss girls like that, Papi,” Rhiannon said as she came in her parents room and jumped up on their bed.

“Well, I can kiss Mami like that.”

“Why?”

“You see this huge ring on Mami’s finger? That’s why.”

“Ohhhh.”

“Come here, mija,” he laughed as he picked her up. “Were you a good kid while we were gone?”

“Yes. Ask Abuela. I was very good.”

“Were you good for your sister before we got home?”

“I tried. She had to put me in time out.”

“Why?”

“I got into the cookies.”

“How did you manage that?”

“I got the chair and then I climbed up on the counter and opened the door where they were.”

“And why?”

“Because Emersyn said I couldn’t have any. She’s a big meanie bucket.”

“What is the rule when we’re not home?”

“I’m supposed to listen to Emmie and Jack.”

“That’s right.”

“Sorry, Papi.”

“Okay. Come on. Let’s go see what your brother’s are up to while Mami starts to unpack.”

“Thanks, Rafa,” Izzy laughed as she playfully rolled her eyes.

 

“Mami!! Papi!! Wake up!!”

“Ugh, what time is it?”

“5:45.”

“In the morning?” Rafael whined.

“Yes,” Izzy replied while a yawn.

“Come on! Santa came!!”

“Okay, Rhian. Give us a minute. Papi’s old.”

“I know but we have to hurry.”

“Did our daughter just agree that I’m old?”

“She did, Raf.”

“Okay, you and Hudson go wake up Emersyn and Jack. Let us get some coffee going.”

“Yay!!!”

“Why did we come home before Christmas?”

“Because you couldn’t stand the idea of not having Christmas on Christmas Day. You didn’t want your daughter to be sad.”

“You know, you always act like I’m the one that spoils the kids,” Rafael groaned as he got up.

“The girls you do.”

“Fine I’ll take credit for the girls. You’ve ruined my sons.”

“Whatever. Go start the coffee and I’ll be in shortly.”

 

“Get away from her, Jackson.”

“Emersyn, Zara and I were just talking.”

“She’s my friend. Mom!!!”

“Oh, what now?” Izzy moaned as she excused herself from Dawson and Sylvie to find her daughter. “What is it?”

“Jackson?”

“What about him?”

“He was talking to Zara!”

“And?”

“Ugh, Mom!”

“Jackson if you’re doing that just to antagonize your sister, stop.”

“Mom we just talked and decided we needed to stay friends. That’s all. That’s what we were talking about if Emersyn mind her own damn business for a change.”

“You know, I have to say your brother is right. Mind your own business until one of them makes it your business. Got it?”

“Fine,” she answered as she rolled her eyes.

“Why don’t you and Diego go to the upstairs family room and exchange your gifts? Don’t go in your room, though. There’s too many people here today.”

“Okay.”

“Where are they going,” Rafael asked when he walked up to his wife with a drink for her.

“I told her to take him upstairs so they could exchange gifts.”

“They better…”

“I already told her.”

“I see you’re wearing your new boots. I’m guessing I did good.”

“You mean Carmen did good?”

“What?”

“I know she picked them out.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, mi alma. I picked them out, I ordered them, and she went to Prada and picked them up because we were gone.”

“Is that what she called about when we were in Italy.”

“As a matter of fact, it was, nosy.”

“Oh, well then yes you did good.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Now, I think you need to give Papi a kiss to make up for your attitude.”

“Well, I can’t give Papi the kind of kiss he deserves right now.”

“But you can. No one is paying attention to us.”

“Help me get some more wine out of the kitchen?”

“You got it.” 

Once they were in the kitchen, he pulled her to him by her waist. “Rafa!”

He didn’t let her say anything else as his lips brushed hers, gentle and lingering until her mouth parted slightly beneath his kiss, her hand rested on his hip. Their breathing became quicker with each caress of their tongues. His fingers made their way into her hair as he cradled her head as the other slid down her back to press her tighter to him. If they hadn’t had a house full of their friends and family, he would’ve gladly lifted her red dress and bent her over the counter.

“Oops! Sorry, guys!”

“Impeccable timing as always, Carisi,” Rafael scoffed.

“What can I say? Izz, Rollins said there was another thing of that dip she made…”

“Refrigerator.”

“I’ll grab that and you two can go back to do whatever you were doing,” Carisi smirked.

“Just go.”

“Hey, guys, guess who was making out in the kitchen?” They heard him say when he walked out of the kitchen with the dip.

“I’m gonna kill him.”

“It’s Christmas, Raf. Save it till New Year’s. Come on, grab the wine.”

“So, Carisi said you guys were making out in the kitchen.”

“We heard, Erin. How much have you had to drink?”

“Not enough. If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go fondle my sweaters.”

“What?”

“Oh, here we go,” Rafael said as he walked away from his wife and sister in law.

“I said I’m gonna go make fondue with cheddar cheese.”

“Okay, I know when you’re wine drunk because you start quoting Gene from ‘Wet Hot American Summer’.”

“Come on, that movie was awesome!!!” 

“It was but I think you’ve had enough.”

“Eh, maybe. Where’s my husband?”

“I saw him with Fin and Stone earlier.”

“I’m gonna go find him.”

“That’s a good idea,” Izzy laughed.


	170. Chapter 170

“Hey, Dad?”

“Hey, Jack. What’s up?”

“I needed to talk to you for a minute. I see you’re busy though. I can come back later.”

“I’m just reviewing a file for the sentencing hearing I have tomorrow. It can wait. Come in, have a seat, mijo.”

Jackson walked into his dad’s home office and shut the door.

“I’m guessing it’s important if you’re shutting my door,” Rafael chuckled.

“Kind of. You know how you and Mom have always said we could come to you guys about anything?”

“Yes.”

“Including…”

“Sex?”

“Yeah,” Jackson said as his face turned pink.

“Are you doing stuff?”

“I want to.”

“And you need condoms.”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Seriously?”

“I’ve told you before that when you were ready, you could come to me and I would take care of it.”

“Just this time. I don’t exactly know what I should get.”

“And you think I’m an expert?”

“Dad come on. I know you’ve been with more than 3 girls.”

“Ugh, okay. I’ll look and pick something up.”

“I know there’s different kinds. Does it matter…”

“Well, you just have to find one that you like basically. I’ll handle it though.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Just do me a favor.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t tell your mother. Let me handle her.”

“I haven’t done anything yet.”

“Better still. So, who’s the girl?”

“Not yet, Dad,” Jack smiled. “I’ll bring her around sometime.”

“Just remember everything I’ve told you when it comes to the girl.”

“I remember. Thanks, Dad.”

“No problem, mijo. Thank you for being a man and coming to me.”

“That’s what you’ve taught me, right?”

“I’ve tried my best.”

“I think so far, so good.”

“Just don’t be coming around here…”

“With no babies, I know, Dad. Trust me. I’ve heard you tell Emersyn 1,000 times.”

“Alright. Go finish your homework. Don’t forget, we’re taking your sister to tour Harvard Friday. You’ll be home by yourself. No parties, no girls, no friends, nothing.”

“Yes, sir.”

 

“So, what did you think, princesa?”

“I think I could see myself going to school there for the next 4 years,” Emersyn replied from the backseat of their rented SUV as they headed home. Rafael took Izzy’s hand and smiled.

“You know, we don’t expect you to…”

“No, I know, Dad. Still, I think it would be nice to carry on in my parent’s footsteps, if I’m accepted.”

“Well you should find out soon enough. I don’t see it being a problem. Your freshman year expulsion isn’t on your permanent record, for some reason, so you lucked out with that.”

“Yeah, I did, Dad.”

“Listen, while it’s just the three of us, your Mom and I want to talk to you about something.”

“Okay.”

“We’ve decided, since you’ve made a real change in the last few years, we are going to buy you a car…”

“Are you serious?!”

“Hang on. Let me finish,” Rafael laughed. “We are going to pick it out so it’s something sensible. Your grades start to slip, we will come get it, and I will pay however much to park it in a garage until you get your grades up. You get it back and your grades slip again, I’ll sell it. End of story. Got it?”

“Got it, Dad. Can I make one request?”

“What?”

“Can it be black or silver?”

“We’ll see,” Izzy laughed.

“When will I get it?”

“When we know exactly where you’re going to school. If you end up at NYU, you’ll have no need for one.”

“I get it, Mom. Thanks, though, in advance, if I do go away to school.”

“Well, we think you’ve earned it,” her dad told her. “I guess Diego has been a decent influence on you.”

“Much to your Dad’s chagrin,” Izzy added.

“You hush,” he laughed as he nudged his wife’s leg.

“You think Jack threw a party while we were gone?”

“Not if he has a brain,” Rafael replied to his daughter. “Ask your mom about her and Uncle Tony throwing a party at your Papa & Nonna’s house when they were in high school.”

“Rafa!”

“You did what, Mom?”

“We were the same age as you and Jack. Nonna and Papa went out of town for the weekend, we threw a party, and we didn’t clean our mess as well as we thought. We were busted by a pyramid of empty beer cans in one of the cabinets.”

“Oh my god, that’s so funny!”

“We were grounded for 3 months so not so funny. I couldn’t play basketball for the rest of the year and Uncle Tony couldn’t play soccer. Your grandparents meant business.”

“Sounds like it.”

 

“Hey, uh, Dad?”

“Yeah, Jackson?”

“Uh, I, uh…well, I was wondering…do they make bigger condoms?”

“What? What do you mean? Oh!!! So you…you’ve…”

“Yeah,” he said with a sly smile.

“Okay. Well. Uh, I don’t know what to say in this instance but good for you?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Jackson laughed. “I really like her.”

“Well, good. And an answer to your question, yes they do. Are you…”

“It was very uncomfortable for me. It feels like they’re choking me, so to speak.”

“Trust me, I understand, completely. I went through the same thing.”

“So, I’m a chip off the old block, huh?”

“Shut it,” Rafael laughed. “Go grab your coat.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. I think I need to take you to the pharmacy so you can actually see what’s available.”

“Condom shopping with my dad. Awesome,” Jackson remarked sarcastically.

“Do you want to go with your mom?”

“No, sir.”

“Okay, then. Let’s go.”

“What are we going to tell Mom?”

“I’m taking my son for a burger and some guy talk. She’ll buy it.”

“Can we get a burger?”

“Oh, sure. Why not?”

“How about a beer?”

“Good try. You’re 16.”

“I could pass for your little brother.”

“About that, you need to shave, son.”

“My girlfriend likes it.”

“Don’t start that shit with me. While I may be helping you, I don’t want to hear any details.”

“Sorry, Dad.”

“Come on. Let’s go.”

 

“Tony not coming?” Carisi asked as they got ready for their monthly poker night.

“Voight came into visit him and Erin, and Erin’s brother Teddy is in town,” Rafael told him.

“Did he come with Voight?”

“I don’t think so, Dawson. I’m not sure. Ask your Lieutenant.”

“Ah, Captain Dodds!!!” Fin laughed when Mike walked in. “Oh Captain, my Captain.”

“Funny, Sergeant Tutuola.”

“Yeah and don’t you forget it,” Fin joked as he popped the collar on his shirt.

“Okay, guys. Are we gonna have a mutual stroke fest or are we gonna play cards,” Cassidy chuckled as he took a drink of his beer.

Mike, Rafael, Cassidy, Carisi, Nick, Dawson, and Fin played a couple of hands of poker; Rafael kept cleaning the guys out.

“I’m starting to call bullshit on this,” Cassidy said as he threw his cards down.

“What? I’m having a streak of good luck. Don’t hate.”

“Okay, so since we’re all here…”

“Oh, Jesus, Carisi. Seriously?”

“What, Nick?”

“Every time we get together, you ALWAYS have something to ask us about.”

“Fine. Forget it,” Carisi said as he threw his hands up.

“No, no. Come on. What’s going on, Carisi?” Brian asked.

“Okay so the other night, I was going down on Carmen…”

“Christ,” Barba muttered.

“Anyways, I don’t know what I did but all of a sudden, I got hit in the face with…her.”

“Uh, explain a little more, young blood,” Fin interjected.

“You know.”

“No, we don’t,” Mike added.

“Wait. You mean she squirted?”

“Well, yeah, Nick.”

The guys all started laughing.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Okay, Carisi. Is that the first time that’s ever happened to you?”

“Yeah, Barba! I mean I thought that was a myth.”

“Oh my god, you’re like talking to Jackson,” Rafael laughed. “It’s normal! It means you’re doing something right!!!”

“Seriously?”

“YES!!” They all replied.

“Damn I can’t believe it’s taken you that long.”

“Really, Barba?”

“I made Izzy do that within our first year.”

“No fucking way.”

“Yes, fucking way, Carisi. Granted it was the first time it ever happened to me as well but yeah, she hit me right in the face one night.”

“What were you doing?”

“I had went down on her, then I was finger-banging her! Jesus!!!”

“And the rest of you…”

“God, yes,” Dawson answered.

“How many times?”

“Too many to count,” Rafael, Dawson, Mike, and Nick all said at the same time.

“Do you remember what you were doing the other night?”

“Yeah, Dodds.”

“Keep doing that and you’ll be golden.”

“Okay, so since we’re getting into this subject. Jackson comes to me a couple of weeks ago, asking if there are bigger condoms than the ones I bought him.”

“No, shit, Barba?”

“No, shit, Amaro. I had to take my son to buy Magnums.”

“Wow, Barba.”

“What can I say, Cassidy? He takes after his old man.”

“Congratulations to whatever girl is getting it,” Fin laughed.

“None of you tell my wife and I mean it. She doesn’t know that her son is…active just yet.”

“Your secret is safe with us. Good for Jackson,” Nick laughed. “Who’s the girl?”

“I’m guessing Serena. They’ve been off and on for a while. All I can say is, that's my boy," Barba smiled.


	171. Chapter 171

“Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me/I wanna be dirty/Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me/Creature of the night…”

Rafael watched as his wife “dusted” while singing along to the “The Rocky Horror Picture Horror Show” soundtrack. “Creature of the night?” He sang Barry Bostwick’s Brad as he grabbed her, scaring her in the process.

“Raf! I thought you were out with the guys.”

“Didn’t mean to scare you, cariño. Something told me to come home early,” he laughed as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

“Hm, babe…kids.”

“They’re all home?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit.”

“Oh stop.”

“It’s Saturday. You mean to tell me that Emmie is not with Diego and Jack isn’t…out?”

“Sorry. Eva is in this weekend so Dawson and Sylvie are finally telling her about their engagement.”

“I see. Well, I’m gonna finish watching the game in the living room.”

“Why did you ditch the guys?”

“Cassidy and Nick started arguing over that fucking trial of Brian’s in 2013. Fin and I just didn’t want to hear the shit so we left. Simple as that.”

“I see. Well, go get yourself a drink and relax.”

 

“Yeah, Nick. We’ll be here,” Rafael told Amaro over the phone a few weeks later.

“What’s up?”

“Nick asked if it was okay for him to come over and talk to us. I don’t know what’s going on. Maybe him and Rollins are fighting.”

“I hope not.”

“He just said it was important.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll be in the kitchen. Let me know when he gets here.”

About 20 minutes later, Amaro showed up with Zara and Jackson behind him.

“Uh, Zara? Jack?”

“Go sit in the living room so I can talk to Rafael.”

“Daddy…”

“Zara, please. Just do it.”

“Fine.”

“Jackson you want to tell me what’s going on?”

He just kind of looked at Nick and his dad.

“Jackson Anthony Barba, I asked you a question.”

“Uncle Nick caught me and Zara…”

“Doing what?”

“Having sex.”

“You and, and Zara?”

“Yeah, they were in her room. Apparently this has been going on for a little while.”

“Sit down while I go get your mother.”

“Yes, sir,” he said as Rafael walked out of the den. “Uncle Nick are you going to kill me?”

“I’m gonna let your mother handle that.”

“I’d feel better if it was you.”

“Hey, Nick. What’s going on?” Izzy said as she followed her husband back in the den.

“Go ahead, tell your mother.”

“Uncle Nick caught me and Zara having sex.”

“What?!”

“We were being safe. Dad bought me condoms.”

“You did what?”

“I wanted him to be safe! Don’t go there with me, Elizabeth. You had Emersyn implanted with that thing when she was 15.”

“Hey, I’m here,” Amanda said as she came in with Aiden and Jesse. “Uh, Jesse, go find Hudson and Aiden go find Rhiannon, okay? Daddy doesn’t look happy.”

“I’d watch Hudson with Jesse if he’s anything like his brother.”

“What was that, Amaro?”

“I’m just saying, Barba. Your son can’t keep it in his pants any more than you can…”

“You know what? Fuck you, Nick!”

“Okay! Whoa! What the hell is going on?” Amanda asked as she stepped between the two hot blooded Cubans, completely lost.

“While you were out with Aiden and Jesse, I caught Jackson screwing my daughter.”

“And you think she’s innocent in this?”

“What does that mean, Amanda?”

“Jack?”

“I wasn’t Zara’s first,” he answered.

“Wha…wha…what?”

“Maria had her put on birth control when she went to California last summer.”

“And you knew about this and didn’t tell me?”

“Maria asked me not to. She said she was going to. Glad to see she did,” Amanda scoffed.

“Jackson go to your room,” his father instructed.

“So, it’s not okay for my son to defile your daughter but it’s okay for her to take his virginity,” Izzy asked as she smacked Nick upside the head.

“Ow, damn, Izz! Okay, I overreacted. I’m sorry. We good, Barba?”

Rafael stood with this arms crossed as Nick offered a hand shake. “Yeah, I guess,” Rafael finally relented and shook Nick’s hand.

“At least he’s using condoms. Did you know they were together?”

“I honestly had no idea but when Jack came to me, I wasn’t going to say no because I’m not trying to be grandfather before 50. I mean, we’ve always told the kids when the time came, they could come to us and we’d take care of it.”

“I get it, man. I did the same for Gil. At least, I know you guys have the fear of God instilled in him,” Nick half laughed.

“I’m glad you guys think this is so fucking funny,” Izzy said as she stormed out.

“Wow. Is she going to be okay? Should I go talk to her?”

“She’ll be fine, Rollins. She just needs some time to herself, I’m sure.”

“Ugh, when did our kids grow up, man?”

“I have no idea, Amaro. And we both still have two more to go.”

“Don’t remind me,” Nick scoffed.

 

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“How upset is Mom?”

“Well, you hear Metallica coming out of my bedroom?”

“Yeah, I figured she’s pretty pissed.”

“She’s not pissed, Jack. She just…it’s hard for her. You’re her baby boy, you know?”

“She still has Hudson.”

“I know but you were the first. It’s like me with your sister. I mean, I didn’t take it very well. You guys are growing up on us and doesn’t seem like you should be. You should still be 3 and 5, following us everywhere we went. You wanting toy guns and handcuffs so you could be like your Mom and your sister saying she was going to grow up to be a princess,” he laughed.

“Think I should talk to her?”

“Not right now. Just leave her be. I want to ask you something, though.”

“Okay.”

“How serious is this thing with Zara?”

“I don’t know. I mean we started growing closer after that Michael guy broke up with her. Everything changed a few months ago. I really like her and she really likes me it seems. Yeah, it’s kind of weird cause we sort of grew up together and have been so close because of Mom and Uncle Nick being best friends but it actually made it…not so weird, if that makes sense. It’s made it kind of easier. Like, why haven’t we been together this whole time.”

“That makes a lot sense, actually. You know your mom was my best friend to begin with and then it turned into more. It felt like that to me. I mean, we could’ve been I guess if I hadn’t have been a jerk at first but once we got together, that was it. We never looked back either. Just don’t hurt Zara. I don’t want to deal with Amaro.”

“Uncle Nick told me the same thing. I won’t.”

“Okay. Well, I’m gonna order dinner.”

“Can we have Mexican tonight?”

“You got caught having sex by your Uncle Nick and you’re gonna make a request for dinner?”

“Come on, Dad.”

“Let me ask your Mom what she feels like and I’ll let you know.”

 

“I want to talk to you.”

“Not now, Emersyn.”

“Just little to me for a minute, okay? Look, if you and Zara want to be together then, well, she could do worse.”

“Gee, thanks, sis.”

“I’m just saying, she’s my best friend…”

“Diego’s my best friend, I have ever tried to stop you guys?”

“No. After what Michael put her through…”

“Em, I know. She talked to me just as much as she talked to you when that happened. I’m not going to hurt her.”

“That’s all I’m asking. It’s weird, huh?”

“What’s that?”

“I’m with your best friend, you’re with mine. We’re like Mom and Uncle Tony.”

“You notice Mom and Dad hang out more with Aunt Amanda and Uncle Nick or Aunt Sylvie and Uncle Antonio than they do Uncle Tony and Aunt Erin anymore?”

“Now that you mention it, yeah. No wonder they have kids dating,” Emersyn laughed. 

“You know for what it’s worth, I’m gonna miss you when you go to Harvard.”

“I’ll miss you, too, little brother but we still have plenty of time to get on each other’s nerves before summer.”

 

“Mi amor?”

“What?”

“Can you turn down the heavy metal? Mrs. Cohen may not appreciate it as much as you do.”

“That old bat can’t hear.”

“Come on. I ordered your favorite. Tacos al Pastor.”

“I told you I wasn’t hungry.”

“So, is this what you’re going to do? Lay in bed with music blaring?”

“If it makes me feel better, yes.”

“Babe. You knew this was going to happen someday.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fine, I give up, Elizabeth. You are impossible some days.”

 

“Mom?”

“What is it, Jackson?”

“I don’t feel good.”

Izzy sat up in the bed and motioned for her son to come to her.

“You don’t feel warm. Your glands aren’t swollen. Jackson…”

“Okay, I’m not sick. I just don’t want you to be mad anymore.”

“Jack I’m not mad. I’m just…horribly depressed.”

“I know you think this means I’m all grown up and I don’t need you but we both know I’m not and I’m still going to need you. I know Dad can take care of us but I want a home-cooked meal, not take out every night.”

“Well I'm sorry, I just don't like you growing up and I'm not gonna. But I guess…I guess it's just something I'm gonna have to get used to,” she said as she pushed his hair out off of his forehead. 

“You know what Mom, I'm always gonna need you. For the next two years, you know Dad is going to be riding my ass until I get into a good college.”

“That’s true,” Izzy laughed. “You didn’t eat my tacos, did you?”

“Nunca, Mami. I know better than to touch your food.”

“Come on then.”

 

“And you bragged to Nick that you had to buy bigger condoms for your son not knowing who he was needing them for?!”

“Shut up, Carisi,” Nick said. “It’s not that funny.”

“Oh, but it was funny when my son and Barba’s daughter started having sex?” Dawson asked.

“Okay, okay, I’m getting payback for giving Barba shit.”

“You’ll learn to tune it out, Nick,” Rafael told him before taking a drink of his scotch.

“Carisi don’t forget you have a daughter of your own,” Cassidy smiled. “You’ll be in their shoes one day.”

“You and Liv ever think about adding another one?” Fin decided to ask.

“Uh, actually we’ve been talking about looking into another one. My adoption of Noah just became official so we might…”

“What about the two of you making it official?”

“Marriage isn’t for everyone, Mike. But you never know.”

“Hey, why haven’t you and Alice ever had kids?”

“Seriously, Carisi? All these years and you’re just now asking me that?”

“Never thought about it, I guess.”

“We talked about it but we prefer the nieces and nephews. They can come over, we can spoil them, and then send them home.”

“Yeah, fuck you, Mike,” Barba scoffed.

“I thought Tony was coming?”

“I text him, Fin. If he shows, he shows.”

“He hasn’t shown up the last few times, Barba. You guys okay?”

“You make us sound like a couple, Carisi.”

“I’m just saying you guys have been best friends since college. It’s weird for him not be around, that’s all.”

“I don’t know what his deal is. Izzy text Erin the other day to go shopping with her and Amanda but she never responded. Who knows?”


	172. Chapter 172

“Okay, so church then we’ll come home and change and then go to your parents Sunday?”

“Yeah, Raf, that’s the plan.”

“Tony and Erin going to be there?”

“I think so. He didn’t say anything about it at dinner the other night?”

“I told you, he really didn’t say a lot. You don’t think him and Erin are having problems, do you?”

“Surely she would’ve said something.”

“I suppose,” he shrugged. “So, the kids are asleep.”

“Hmm, I know,” she smiled.

“Have I told you how absolutely intoxicating your perfume is?”

“No but you can keep doing that while you tell me,” she shuddered while he kissed and lightly sucked her neck.

“It drives me insane to the point it makes my dick hard just being near you.”

“Really?”

“The way it lingers in my office, I can’t any work done some days. I sit and think about all the nasty things I want to do to you when I get home.”

“Like what?”

“Some days, I think about bending you over this bed and slamming my dick into you so hard, your legs come out from under you, while you say my name.”

“Hmmm, Rafael…”

“Just like that,” he whispered before moving his lips to hers. 

 

“Kids, come on, hurry up!! We’ve got to get to Brooklyn!”

“We’re coming, Dad.”

“Uh-huh, Emersyn Catalina. Go change.”

“What is wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“Your grandparents will lose their minds if we let you out of the house like that. Especially your grandfather.”

“Ugh, I’m almost 18, about to graduate high school…”

“And you still live in my house.”

“Fine.”

“Don’t take too long! Izz!!”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, you got Rhian changed I see.”

“Yep, just waiting on the others.”

“I had to send your daughter back upstairs. She wasn’t wearing that black skirt.”

“Raf she wears it all the time.”

“When?”

“She wears it on dates with Diego, when she goes out with her friends…”

“And how have I not noticed?”

“I have no idea, honestly.”

“I’m not going to see 50, am I?”

“Will you stop?”

“Kids! Come on!”

“Okay, okay!” Jackson said as they came down the stairs. “Do I really have to go? I could’ve went home with Uncle Nick and Aunt Amanda.”

“And Zara, yes, I know but we’ve been trying to spend more time with your grandparents so it’s not going to kill you to be away from Zara for one day.”

“I know. Jeez,” he rolled his eyes at his dad.

 

“There you guys are!”

“Sorry we’re late, Ma.”

“Oh, nonsense. You’re here. My beautiful grandchildren,” Stella said as she hugged them.

“Emersyn have you been eating right?”

“MA!”

“Yes, Nonna,” Emersyn laughed. 

“Eh, you’re just a stick like your mother was, I swear. How’s Diego?”

“He’s good. I’m gonna go over there after we leave here.”

“I saw his grandmother the other day and she had nothing but nice things to say about you, as always.”

“She doesn’t know her that well.”

“Rafael leave your daughter alone,” Stella laughed as she slapped at her son in law. “Rafael will you go get your father and brother in law?”

“No problem, Stella.”

“Hey about time you guys got here,” Anthony laughed as he came in the dining room.

Tony and Erin barely said anything to Rafael or Izzy.

“So why were you guys late?”

“We went to church with Nick and Amanda and we got to talking afterwards. Kind of lost track of time,” Izzy told her dad.

“Big surprise,” Erin scoffed.

“What was that?”

“I said big surprise, Lieutenant.”

Rafael and Izzy both just kind of looked at each other.

“What does that mean, Erin?”

“I was just making a comment on the fact that if you’re late somewhere, it’s usually because you’re with Amanda.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, unless her and Rafael are having problems, then they just forget about everyone else.”

“What the fuck does that mean, Tony?”

“I think that was pretty clear.”

“Kids help your little brother and sister and cousin and go eat in the kitchen, please.”

“Sure, Nonna,” Jackson replied.

“Are you seriously going to bring up the fact that while I was living in an apartment that I didn’t own, I didn’t go out?”

“When that was going on, neither of you gave a shit about anyone but yourselves. Oh, I’m sorry, and Nick and Amanda.”

“Wow. Well, excuse the hell out of us for missing each other, while trying to co-parent, and figure out how to fix our marriage.”

“If it was so important than maybe you shouldn’t have been a coward and walked out in the first place.”

“That’s enough, Tony,” Anthony said. “For your information, he came and talked to me one night about how important his family was to him. Your brother in law has always put your sister and those kids first.”

“You know what, Tony, you want to be pissed off because I spent more time with Nick during that period than you? Fine. Be a fucking child.”

“Yeah and you guys had an argument on your 2nd honeymoon or whatever you want to call it and yet, you called Amanda.”

“Oh my god, Erin. Are you and Tony for real with this shit right now? You guys are pissed off because we spend more time with Nick and Amanda than you?”

“You know what Tony, you always wanted to be invited along when I invite Nick, Mike, Fin, and the rest of them over and when you do come, all you do is fucking complain.”

“Well so sorry but I don’t want to hear about my sister’s sex life.”

“When guys go out, that’s what we do! We drink and we talk about life and that incidentally, includes sex. I have censored myself plenty for your sake over the years and honestly, I’m sick of it. When I hang out with my friends, I want to actually fucking hang out, not watch what I have to say.”

“Boys, that’s enough.”

“No, Pop. I’m sick of both of them acting like they’re so fucking above us.”

“Excuse me? Is your sister supposed to apologize for advancing in her career? Am I? Cause it’s not going to happen. We have both worked our asses off to get where we are.”

“Could you even bother to ask me why my brother was in town? No!”

“Uh, Erin, I have text you and invited you out several times. I either get no response or you just blow me off.”

“You know what, just fuck this. I’m sick of being around these two who seem to forget they were nothing but a couple of scholarship kids from Brooklyn and the Bronx.”

“And you were what, exactly?” Rafael asked as he and Tony got closer together.

“I remember where I come from, Barba.”

“Yeah, well, we haven’t exactly forgotten. Just because I don’t let it define who I am.”

“Says the man that wears $2000 suits…”

“Knock it off, Tony.”

“Oh, right. He’s your meal ticket after all. Nice earrings, by the way, Sis.”

“Don’t speak to your sister like that.”

“What are you gonna do about it?”

“Whatever I have to.”

“Boys, now that’s enough.”

“I want to see what he’s got. Come on, Barba.”

“No te equivoque conmigo.”

“See what you started, Erin? Way to go.”

“She didn’t start this, Izzy.”

“Well, this didn’t happen on its own,” Rafael said.

Tony drew his fist back but instead of connecting with his brother in law, he connected with his sister.

“Oh my god! Izz I am so sorry.”

“Way to go, asshole!” Rafael said as he pushed him.

“Alright! Now I have said that’s enough too many times to adults! Tony go get your sister an ice pack, Erin go upstairs and get her some Advil,” Anthony instructed. “I sat and tried to let you work this out and look what happened. All of you are acting like children.”

Tony and Erin came back with the things Anthony had sent them after. “I really didn’t mean to hit you. I just…”

“You still hit like a bitch.”

“I’m gonna get the kids…”

“No, Rafael. The four of you are going to sit down and talk like the adults you’re supposed to be.”

“Anthony I need to get her home.”

“You heard my daughter, her brother hits like a bitch,” Anthony laughed.

“Thanks, Pop. Let him get her home. We can talk later.”

“I mean it. I want this resolved before Easter Sunday.”

“Okay, Dad,” Izzy told him.


	173. Chapter 173

“So, are you guys gonna tell us what the hell was going on back at Nonna and Papa’s?”

“Jackson…”

“Dad don’t start the it’s complicated, adult crap. We’re old enough to understand and know better.”

“Well, you saw the way your aunt and uncle were acting. Things escalated. The four of us continued to argue, your uncle got in my face, and he went to hit me but missed and got your mother instead.”

“What? I’ll kill him.”

“Jack just leave it alone.”

“No, Dad. You have never touched Mom and I don’t give shit Uncle Tony is her brother. It doesn’t matter if it was meant for you or not. Why didn’t…”

“Because your Papa finally had enough with us. We were all in the wrong.”

“Still, Dad.”

“I know. Look, I don’t know what’s going with your aunt and uncle. We’ll sit down and talk and figure it out, Em.”

“Okay. Well, I guess I’ll be home later.”

“Okay. Don’t tell Dawson what happened.”

“I won’t.”

 

“Izz?”

“Yeah?”

“Hey, you okay?”

“I’m fine, Raf.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I just don’t know what the hell has gotten into those two. I mean to be jealous of Nick and Amanda? You’ve been friends with my brother for how long?”

“Almost 30 years.”

“And I’ve been friends with Erin for what, almost 28 years? I mean, Jesus Christ.”

“I’m sorry this happened.”

“Raf…”

“That was meant for me. Your brother’s eye sight must be getting worse.”

“You know if he would’ve got you, everything would’ve been so much worse cause Dad would’ve let you two fight it out.”

“I really am sorry,” he said as he took her in his arms and kissed her bruise.

“It’s not your fault, babe.”

“I know you say that.”

“And I mean that. Don’t blame yourself for my brother being a dick. God how am I going to explain this to Dodds and Dawson and Doom?”

“I hope they don’t think I did this to you.”

“I seriously doubt they would think that. I think Dodds and Dawson especially would know better.”

 

“Hey, Lieu…whoa! What the fuck happened to you?”

“It’s not a big deal, Dawson.”

“Fuck yeah it is. You come in with a black eye? That’s a big fucking deal. Dodds!!!”

“What is it, Antonio? Shit. What happened, Izz?”

“Ugh, there was an argument between me, Rafael, Erin, and Tony at my parents yesterday. Tony went to hit Rafael and missed, got me instead.”

“I’m going to Brooklyn to his law firm and going to give him one to match.”

“Dawson just leave it. It was stupid.”

“What did Barba do?”

“Well, he started to go after him but my dad yelled and put an end to everything before he could.”

“I’d hate to see the two of them tie up,” Mike said. “I have a feeling Barba could hold his own if need be.”

“His childhood friend, Eddie Garcia, taught him how to throw a punch or two when they were younger.”

“Seriously, Izz. I’ll go handle your brother if you need me to.”

“I didn’t hear that, Dawson.”

“Alright. I’m just saying.”

“Captain don’t you have something he can do?”

“Is your mileage book up to date, Dawson?”

“Of course, it is.”

“Go get it done, Dawson.”

“Copy that.”

 

“It really got that bad?”

“Wait till you see my wife, Liv,” Barba told her as they met for coffee before Liv headed to work.

“Damn. I’m sorry, Barba.”

“I just feel bad because it was meant for me and she took it.”

“Well, just because Tony missed, doesn’t mean it was your fault.”

“Still. I shouldn’t have continued to argue with him.”

“Surely you guys can work this out.”

“We’ll see. I’m not rushing to have a come to Jesus meeting with them just yet.”

“Well, hopefully I can keep Lindsay and Rollins from ripping each other’s throats out.”

“Rollins doesn’t know.”

“You know she’s gonna find out somehow.”

“Well, Izzy didn’t want to call and broadcast what happened. I told you so you could have a heads up.”

“Appreciate it, Barba.”

“I gotta get to the courthouse.”

“Thanks for the coffee.”

“Sure.”

 

Amanda rushed in that morning after she and Nick had spent it fighting with Aiden. She didn’t even take the time to say hi to anyone.

“Oh, so what you’re gonna give me the silent treatment because of what happened to Izzy?”

“What are you talking about, Erin?”

“She didn’t call you?”

“I haven’t talked to her since church yesterday. What happened? Is she okay?”

“There was just a big mess at my in-laws yesterday. Tony and Rafael kept arguing and Tony went to punch Barba but got his sister instead,” Erin said in a regretful tone.

Amanda immediately picked up her purse after having just sat it down. “Where you going?”

“Sergeant tell Liv I had to run an errand,” she called back to Fin as she headed to the elevator and walked the 4 blocks to Hate Crimes.

“Hey, Rollins.”

“Is she in her office, Doom?” She asked as she rushed in.

“Yeah.”

“Hey.”

“Hey, Rollins.”

“He really got you, didn’t he?”

“It’s no big deal.”

“No big deal? Come on, Izz.”

“It’s not the first black eye he’s ever given me in my life.”

“So! You’re not kids anymore and just because it was meant for your husband and he got you by mistake doesn’t make it okay.”

“It was an accident. Everyone needs to chill out.”

“I just wanted to check on you.”

“I appreciate that, Rollins but I’m fine. He and Erin were being assholes because apparently Raf and I spend more time with you and Nick than we do them.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Nope,” Izzy said as she leaned back in her chair and told Amanda the details.

“Hey, Lieutenant…sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,” Carisi said as he walked into Izzy’s office.

“It’s okay, Carisi. What can I do for you?”

“You, uh, got the, uh files on the Mills case?”

“Right here,” she replied as she handed the file to Amanda to pass along. She could tell Carisi wanted to ask what happened but he wouldn’t.

“Okay, thanks.”

 

“Carisi to what do I owe the pleasure?” Rafael asked as Carisi walked into his chambers, interrupting Barba and Amaro.

“Barba just tell me the truth.”

“Um, okay, Carisi.”

“I was just at Hate Crimes.”

“Well, you’re the DA for that office so that’s not unusual.”

“Please tell me Izzy’s black eye is from some sort of sex game gone wrong and you didn’t hit her.”

“Dear God Carisi, do you really think I’d hit my wife? You didn’t ask her, did you?”

“No! I was hoping you’d be a man and tell me the truth.”

Nick just kind of snickered at Carisi’s outrage.

“I can’t say it surprises me that anyone would think I did it consider we were separated last year but no. I promise, it wasn’t me. Have a seat.”

 

Rollins and Fin watched as Tony walked into the precinct to take Erin to lunch. Fin decided he needed to have a little talk with Tony.

“Hey, Rossetti. Let me holler at you for a hot second.”

“Okay. What’s up, Fin?”

“I’m gonna tell you this one time and one time only. You ever lay a hand on your sister again…”

“It was an accident, Fin.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don’t care, accident or not. It happens again, you better hope Barba gets you first cause I can promise you, you do not want me involved.”

“Is that a threat, Sergeant?”

“You take it however you want, Counselor. See it as a threat but I’d consider it a promise and anyone that knows me well enough, knows I don’t break promises.”

“Hey, babe, you ready?” Erin asked as she came out of Benson’s office.

“Um, yeah.”

“You remember what I told you, son.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you, Fin.” 

 

“How upset was your mother that we’re not coming for Easter this year?”

“She expected it,” Izzy answered her husband as they cooked dinner together on night in April 2023. 

“I’ve text and emailed your brother. He won’t answer me so I’m done. I’ve done what I can. He’s my brother in law and I have to deal with him but that’s it from now on.”

“Raf…”

“No, I’m serious, Izz. I’m too old for this shit and he should be, too. He can’t even give you a sincere apology. He apologized after it happened and that’s it. Erin didn’t even say anything nor has she.”

“It’s been two weeks. Let’s not worry about it anymore.”

“It still pisses me off.”

“We have Easter this weekend. We’re gonna spend it with your mom and Bill, Mike and Alice. It’s going to be fine.”

“If you say so.”

“And I do and I’m always right.”

“50/50, mi amor.”

“60/40?”

“60 for me, you mean?”

“Not hardly,” she laughed. “Fine, 50/50.”

“That’s better.”


	174. Chapter 174

“Okay, so we’re meeting your grandparents for lunch. Just because Zara and Diego are going to be here to help you two babysit, does not give you two the license for any monkey business. You got it?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Trust me, we’ll find out…”

“Yeah, Hudson or Rhiannon can’t keep a secret.”

“No, Emersyn, one of you has a tell. Your mom and I always know when you or Jackson are guilty of something and the other knows about it. You two have the worst poker faces. Now, you can call and order something to eat for all of you but don’t be ridiculous.”

“We know, Dad. Go see Nonna and Papa. We’ll be fine.”

“Okay, we’ll be back in an hour or so.”

“Hey, you ready?”

“Yeah. I told Emersyn they could order something to eat for all of them.”

“Okay, well let’s go. I’m sure they’re going to tell us how disappointed they are in us over Easter.”

“Hey, I told your Dad I’ve reached out to Tony and I told you last week…”

“I know, I know. Come on so we can get over and get home. Don’t forget next week is Spring Break.”

“Don’t remind me. We’re taking the week off?”

“I’m on forced furlough because of all the personal time I’ve never used. You’re the one taking the week off.”

“What was I thinking?”

 

“Ma! Pop!”

“Hey,” Stella smiled. “Your Dad is in the dining room.”

“I thought we were going out, Ma?”

“I decided I wanted to cook instead. Go on you two. I’ll be in just minute.”

“Do you need any help?”

“No, everything’s ready. I just got to make sure everything is turned off. Go on.”

They walked into the dining room to be greeted by Anthony and to find Erin and Tony at the table.

“What the hell, Pop?”

“You two get in here, sit down, and the 4 of you are going act like adults and talk about whatever the hell it is that is going on. For better or worse, you guys are family and one of these days, you and your brother will be all the other one has. So, sit.”

Rafael continued to stand with his arms crossed across his chest.

“I said sit down, young man,” Anthony told him which him feel about 5 years-old as he did what his father in law told him. “Now, who wants to start?”

The four of them sat there without looking at each other or saying a word.

“Junior, don’t you have something you need to say?”

“I’m sorry you took the punch that I meant for your husband. I should’ve said something other than just that day. Rafael I’m sorry I tried to hit you. Things have never gotten that bad between us.”

“No, they haven’t,” he replied. “I’m still dumbfounded as to why they did,” he said with that glare.

“You two seem to forget we’re there, too. You know when you were having your ‘problems’…”

“Whoa, Tony! If that’s what we’re going back to, your sister and I didn’t hang out with anyone. Nick would stop by my place. Amanda and Liv got her out of the house once. And you know why I talked to Nick more? He’s been through it. You haven’t.”

“And while we’re on the subject, how could you lend him any support after he walked out on your daughter and their kids,” Tony asked his dad.

“I didn’t walk out…”

“Rafael I got this. You know I’ve always thought of him as my son and that was hard for both of them. They didn’t know what to do or how to fix it. It took a lot of him to come to me when he could’ve went to Bill. He came to me and that showed me how much he still putting his family first. Let my ask you, as his best friend, why weren’t you more supportive of him?”

“He cancelled our weekly night out.”

“And you couldn’t pick up some food and beer and go to his place and say, ‘how can I help’? He didn’t hurt or cheat on your sister.”

“You know why I didn’t, Pop.”

“Okay, fine. You were siding with your sister, I get that but she didn’t hear from you either. I know I raised you better than that. I didn’t have any sisters. Part of your job since October 27, 1976 as always been to protect her and help her. You have failed miserably in my book.”

“She can take care of herself, thanks to me. I taught her how to defend herself…”

“Not the point, Junior. And Erin, I know you’ve never had much of a family outside of Hank. That woman sitting across from you has been your family since 1995. Am I right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And not only that Erin, I believe I flew out to Chicago, almost 5 months pregnant with Hudson to get you away from your mother. We let you stay with us when you showed up, all your luggage in tow and unannounced when you left Chicago for good. Not to mention, I put my ass on the line to get you into the NYPD. You fucked up and it would’ve been my ass, too.”

“So, you guys get pissed because we didn’t stay up your asses while we were separated, depressed, dealing with 4 children that didn’t know if their parents were going to work things out or if they were going to end up like most of their friends, whose parents are divorced. After all those years, all of a sudden we were faced with questions that we never anticipated. What should we do? How are we going to do this? Does this mean we start dating again and if so how are we going to do that? Who would’ve wanted a 48-year-old divorced judge with 4 kids? I’d have been broke due to child support and alimony,” Rafael couldn’t help but toss in a joke as he smiled at his wife.

“It’s your fault she has expensive tastes.”

“My fault, Tony? I didn’t raise her.”

“Yeah, Pop. Look what you did! You gave her expensive taste and then Rafael’s had to keep up with it.”

“And that’s never been easy, either.”

“Oh, so you’re gonna gang up on me now?”

“I loved that we were the same size in college,” Erin added.

The four of them started laughing and Anthony walked out.

“Seriously, guys. We were really sorry about the way we’ve been acting and what happened. It just sucked not having our best friends. It was like you guys didn’t want to talk to us at all. We could’ve made a better effort, though, too. I mean you did try. I just ignored you.”

“I get why you didn’t, Tony. I know that was rough spot for you to be in but you have to understand, I don’t think either of us really wanted to talk to anyone.”

“Yeah but I’ve always liked you better than my sister.”

“Hey!!”

“I didn’t have to give him the big brother speech cause I didn’t have anything to worry about how he was going to treat you. Not after dealing with the constant questions about you for four fucking months!!” Tony laughed. “Hey, I thought Ma was cooking.”

“Come on, Tony. You should’ve known this was a set-up when we walked in. There’s no food.”

“Well, come on. I’m hungry.”

“What else is new?”

“Funny, Barba. Ma! Pop! We’re leaving!”

 

“You guys got everything packed?”

“Where are we going, Dad?”

“We are just taking a small trip upstate. Your sister is graduating high school next month then she’ll be leaving for college. Since your mom’s on forced furlough for three weeks, I thought we needed to get out of the city for Spring Break. Zara’s in California anyways and Diego went to Chicago. I’m sure you guys need the distraction, Jackson.”

“And we’re going to be out in the woods?”

“It’s not as bad as you’re thinking.”

“I hope not. I’m a proud city boy. I know nothing about the woods.”

“We’re not going to be in the woods.”

“Can I at least take my XBOX?”

“No. iPad and that’s it.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Go make sure Hudson is ready. We have a long drive ahead of us.”

“Can we drive?”

“Nice try, Emersyn.”

“Come on. Jack and I both have our driver’s licenses.”

“Maybe on the way home. Let me and Mom drive up.”

“Fair enough.”

 

“There’s a hot tub?!”

“Yes.”

“And we all get our own rooms?”

“Yes, Emersyn,” Izzy laughed as they explored the cabin they had rented near Lake Placid.

“This is really nice, guys.”

“Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you think?”

“It’s quiet. Too quiet. I hope we don’t get snowed in and Dad starts to write a book and loses his shit.”

“Okay, no more Stephen King books or movies for you,” Rafael said as he shook his head.

“No, it’s nice. I just don’t want to find you and Mom naked in the hot tub.”

“Jackson!”

“What? I mean if I brought Zara up here, that would be my first thought. Ow!” He yelled when his dad popped him upside his head. 

“Guys go help your brother and sister get settled, please, so your mom and I can figure out what to do for dinner.”

“Si, Papi,” Jackson laughed.

“Can we send him to college, too?”

“Sorry, Raf. We got him for another 2 years.”

“Sad thing is, he’s right about the hot tub.”

“Well, our kids are here, so you will have to wear your shorts and I’ll have to wear my bathing suit.”

“They have to go to sleep sometime.”

“Knock it off.”

He took her in his arms in the living room and kissed her hard and good. “Still say no?”

“It’s so hard but…no nakedness in the hot tub while we’re here.”

“I’m just kidding,” he smiled. “We’re gonna have a good time up here.”

“I think so, too. Away from the city and work.”

“And our friends. Ever since we ‘made up’ with Tony and Erin, he won’t leave me alone; but the guys don’t really want him around. They are protective over you. Dawson, Fin, and Nick especially.”

“You’re gonna have to talk to them.”

“Honestly, I think he’s gonna have to apologize like Erin did to Amanda.”

“We are almost 5 hours away from all that so let’s not worry about it now.”

“You got it, mi corazón y mi alma. Let’s go find our kids.”


	175. Chapter 175

“I can’t believe you’re going to your 30th High School reunion. You’ve been out of high school for 30 years.”

“I’m aware, Emersyn,” Rafael laughed as he buttoned his black vest and adjusted his pink tie. “You’ll be going to yours one day, too.”

“I know. So, how long will this last?”

“I don’t think Mom and I will be out too late. I want Diego gone by 11:30 if we’re not back. Same for Zara and I mean it. I will get ahold of Nick and Dawson to make sure.”

“I know, Dad. Here. Your tie is a little crooked.”

“Thanks, mija. Your mom usually takes care of that for me but she is TAKING FOREVER!!!”

“I’m coming, Raf!” Izzy hollered from the bathroom.

“I don’t know what takes your mother so long to get ready. She’s beautiful without all of that crap on her face. Always has been.”

“Leave her alone, Papi.”

“Well, I’m just telling the truth. She looked like a drowned rat the first time I saw her.”

“Dad!”

“Okay, not that bad,” he laughed, “but she was still the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen. She still is.”

“Okay, I’m ready,” Izzy said as she came out in the floor length, strapless pink and white chiffon gown, blond hair in loose curls, half up, half down.

“Wow,” he whispered upon seeing his wife.

“Do I look okay?”

“Why do you always ask me that? You know the answer, mi amor.”

“Thank you. I felt like I was getting ready for prom all over again,” she laughed.

“Well, that’s basically how it’s being treated. Aww, Abuelita’s necklace.”

“Yeah, I thought I’d take it on a spin around your old neighborhood.”

“It’s always looked so good on you. Well, our car just pulled up so, are you ready?”

“Let’s go,” Izzy smiled.

“Em remember what I said.”

“I got it, Papi. You guys have fun,” she said as she hugged her parents.

 

They walked into the same hotel that incidentally did host Rafael’s prom. He went that night with Yelina but this night was completely different. He had no question about how the woman on his arm felt about him now. They had weathered many storms since 1995 and there was no stopping them. They had their problems but they both knew that “till death parts us” meant just that, both times they said it to each other.

“Raffi!”

“Eddie? It’s so good to see you,” he said as he hugged his childhood friend. They kept in touch, albeit sporadically, especially after the case against Alex.

“You look good, Raffi. Being a judge agrees with you, hermano.”

“Gracias.”

“And Izzy. You look as beautiful as ever.”

“Thank you, Eddie. How are you,” Izzy asked as they hugged.

“Good. I’m really good.”

They talked with Eddie about his son and mom, their kids, and life in general.

“I’m going to get another drink? You guys?”

“I’m fine, Izzy but thank you.”

“I’ll have another, mi amor. Thank you.”

“Be right back,” she smiled as Rafael kissed her softly on her cheek.

“I gotta hand it to you, Raffi. Harvard didn’t just do you good career wise, you got a beautiful, smart, and funny woman while you there.”

“She’s the best, Eddie. I can’t believe it myself sometimes.”

“She’s always been the best thing that ever happened to you, well, besides your kids.”

“That’s very true.”

“Here we are. Back together again. Los tres muscateros de Jerome Avenue,” Alex said as he walked up, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. Eddie and Rafael just looked at each other, both very uncomfortable.

“It’s nice to see you, Alex,” Eddie lied. He still hadn’t forgiven him over what happened during Alex’s mayoral bid in 2013.

“Yes, Alejandro. How are you?” Rafael asked.

“I’m doing great. I’ve made my mistakes but I learned from them and I’ve moved forward with my life.”

“That’s good. Oh, I see Tiffany Collins. I hear she’s single now,” Eddie laughed as he excused himself.

“So, Rafael, Mr. Big-time-judge.”

“That’s me,” he scoffed as he was searching the room for his wife.

“How are the kids?”

“They’re great, Alex.”

“And where’s your beautiful wife? I know you didn’t leave her at home.”

“She’s around here somewhere.”

“Who’s around here somewhere,” Izzy asked as she walked up with Rafael’s drink.

“You, mi amor. I was afraid you got lost,” he chuckled.

“Huge line at the bar.”

“Wow, Izzy, you look absolutely stunning.”

“Thanks, Alex,” she replied dismissively.

“Now, did I hear correctly that you guys have 4 kids now?”

“Yes, Alex, we do. We adopted our youngest daughter about 4 years ago almost.”

“Wow, that’s great guys. I always knew you two would have a big family.”

“Rafael?” A female voice from behind them called.

“Lauren?”

Alex excused himself as Rafael hugged the blond woman.

“I can’t believe it’s really you,” she laughed.

“Yeah, it’s really me. God, it’s been what…”

“Almost 30 years. Well, I saw you that summer of 95. And this must be ‘the one’.”

“Yes, Lauren Sullivan, this is my wife, Izzy.”

“I have seen your pictures on Facebook and Instagram but it is so nice to finally meet you in person,” Lauren beamed.

“Thank you. It’s nice to finally meet you after all these years as well, Lauren. Raf has never said a bad thing about you.”

“I’m surprised,” she joked.

“Come on, Lauren,” he said with an eye-roll.

“Oh, where’s your sense of humor, Rafael?”

“Why don’t I get us another round?”

“That’s fine. Your wife and I will go find a table.”

“Uh, no, you won’t.”

“What are you so worried about, Rafa?”

“You do realize she was my first?” He whispered in her ear.

“And I’ve slept with our daughter’s boyfriends Dad. I think I’ll be okay.”

“Okay, I’ll find you ladies in a few.”

“Come on,” Lauren said as she took Izzy’s hand.

 

“This looks like as good a place as any.”

“So, Lauren, you have to tell me about Raf in high school.”

“Oh, Izzy where do I begin? He was such a smartass.”

“Still is.”

“That doesn’t shock me.”

“He wonders where our kids get it; I don’t help matters,” Izzy laughed.

“But he was so damn smart. Ugh, I hated him some days. It was no surprise he was Valedictorian of our class.”

“So, what was he like when you guys were together? I mean were you friends at first or…”

“Not really. I mean we knew who each other were but he was always following that fucking Yelina around, when he wasn’t with Eddie and Alex. Our Sophomore year, she was dating some college guy so I guess Rafael had finally given up. We’d talk a little in the halls and the classes we shared. I remember, he came up to me at my locker one day, tripping over his words as he asked me out.”

“Seriously?”

“I’m not kidding. He was so nervous. I thought he was cute, though, so of course I said yes. He was such a great boyfriend.”

“That is in stark contrast to how he was when we first met.”

“What do you mean?”

Izzy told Lauren the story of their first and second meetings and how cocky Rafael was. He brought them their drinks but decided he didn’t want to listen to his first and his last talk about him so he went to find Eddie again.

“You know, that lack of confidence was because of Yelina. He was so in love with since we were 12 and she just treated him terribly. I mean I was shocked that he even asked me out because of her.”

“I’ve never liked that bitch. I mean, I owe her a huge debt of gratitude for her being a cheating whore but still.”

“God, when we decided to break up, she couldn’t wait to swoop in. I swear she always knew when I was at his place cause she’d call him in tears about whatever guy she was with treating her bad.”

“I would’ve killed her.”

“Oh, I wanted to but Rafael always assured me he didn’t have any feelings for her. I believed him and I still believe he didn’t when he was with me. We tried to stay friends after we broke up but she made sure that wasn’t happening. However, when he went to Harvard and I went to Stanford, we still would call each other every once in a while.”

“He never told me that.”

“Well, it wasn’t very often. Just once in a while. It would always end up with complaining about how Yelina was treating him. I can’t tell you how many times I told him that he didn’t need her and there was someone out there that would love him they way he deserved to be loved. Then it wasn’t a week later, he calls me and tells me his worst fear had been realized.”

“When she was fucking around with Alex while Rafael was in Massachusetts.”

“Yep. It was your brother that took him home to confront them, right?”

“It was, yeah.”

“Then I had to hear about him basically becoming a man whore.”

Izzy and Lauren both started laughing about that.

“We had gotten together for lunch the summer before our Junior year’s of college, and I asked him what the hell did he hope to accomplish by doing that. Of course, he told me I wouldn’t understand. I told him while he was doing that, he could be missing out on somebody really great. We talked a little throughout that summer and almost got back together.”

That was something Izzy didn’t know.

“But then he calls me right after school started and tells me about this Freshman he met. I could tell in his voice he was smitten with her. So, I told him he needed to ask her out. He told me he was scared. He thought she was too pretty for him.”

“Awww.”

“Every time he would talk about you, I didn’t have to see him to know that he had the biggest smile on his face. One he deserved. I called him one night in December and he wasn’t in his dorm so I left a message. I hadn’t heard from him in a few weeks so I was a little worried. He called me back the next afternoon and told me he had crashed at your dorm. I asked, ‘Are you finally together?!’ and I mean it. I yelled it like that. When he told me you guys were, I was so happy for him.”

“Thank you, Lauren.”

“You know what we had, it was high school, puppy love. I can’t tell you what the fuck that was with Yelina. With you, it was so different. I knew he was finally in love for real. Not high school stuff. I remember talking to him, you guys had been together 6 months or so and I told him, ‘you better start saving your money’ and he asked me why and I told him because he was going to need it for a ring and that he was gonna marry you one day.” 

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. I could hear it in his voice every time we talked.”

“How long did you guys keep in contact?”

“It was less and less over the years. I met my now ex-husband, he met you. We would email back and forth. The last time was probably 6 or 7 years ago, though. Careers, kids, marriage, you know how it is.”

“That I do.”

“I can’t believe Alex has the audacity to try and hang around him and Eddie after everything that went down with him, then I heard about the situation with Yelina.”

“I got the pleasure of arresting both Alex and Yelina, actually. Yelina has been my favorite arrest in my whole career, I think.”

“I don’t blame you,” Lauren laughed. 

“Are you two still having fun?”

“Yes, we are, Rafa,” his wife answered. “So, you used to call Lauren and talk about me?”

“Ugh, Lauren, really?”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t tell her if we ever met? Come on, Rafael.”

“I guess I should’ve been prepared. Dance with me, cariño?”

“Sure, Raf. Lauren?”

“You two go. I’ll be fine. I spotted Randy Walker and rumor has it, his wife left him for her tennis instructor.”

“Oh jeez, Lauren,” Rafael laughed. “Have fun.”

“I’ll see you guys before you leave?”

“We’ll make sure of it,” Izzy told her.

They danced to Brian McKnight’s “One Last Cry” which was a decent hit in 1993 when Rafael graduated from high school. “You have been so wonderful tonight, mi amor.”

“What do you mean?”

“Talking to my former classmates, hanging out with Lauren.”

“She’s nice.”

“I told you, didn’t I?”

“I can’t believe you used to talk to your ex about me.”

“Well, she was my friend. And I know your brother got tired of me,” he laughed.

“I love you, Raf.”

“I love you, too, Izz.”


	176. Chapter 176

“Can you believe it? I am officially a high school graduate on my way to Harvard?” Emersyn said as she met her family after the graduation ended.

“We are so proud of you, princesa. We love you so much.”

“When can we pick out my car, Papi?”

“I told you, Mami and I are picking out your car.

“Em!”

“Diego!!”

“Well, Izz, did you ever think we’d have kids that fell in love?”

“I was hoping not, Dawson,” she laughed.

“Come on, Rossetti.”

“Yeah, okay, Diego has been pretty awesome when it comes to my daughter.”

“You know we’re gonna be in-laws one day.”

“Sylvie you better get your fiancé before I beat his ass.”

“Antonio.”

“Okay, Sylvie. I’m just giving my Lieutenant a hard time.” 

“She kicked your ass when you were kids. I think she can do it now,” Sylvie laughed.

They all went out to dinner after the graduation. Izzy and Rafael decided to let Emersyn go stay with Diego at Dawson’s apartment, Jack was staying with Gil who was in from college, but they all really knew that was code for him being with Zara. Hudson and Rhian went home with Uncle Mike and Aunt Alice.

 

“Come on! Our flight leaves in two hours!!!” Rafael called to his kids. “¡ Ya sabes cómo es tu madre (You know how your mother is)!”

“We’re coming!!” Jackson called from his room.

“What do you mean, you know how I am?” Izzy laughed as she came out of the bedroom.

“Nothing bad, cariño. Kids!! Let’s go!!!”

All four of them came out of their rooms almost simultaneously.

Rhiannon had her pink suit case rolling behind her. “Just point me to Chicago,” she said with determination as she headed toward the door.

“Hang on a minute, short stuff.”

“But Papi the plane is going to leave without us.”

“It won’t if your sister WILL HURRY UP!!”

“Ugh, I’m coming! God!”

“The name is Dad.”

“Funny,” Emersyn said as she rolled her eyes. “Why do we have to go to Chicago anyways?”

“For Antonio and Sylvie’s wedding?”

“Why do I have to go?”

“Uh-oh, trouble in paradise?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Dad.”

“This is gonna be a great flight,” he remarked sarcastically.

 

“Everything okay with you and Diego?” Izzy asked after the rehearsal dinner.

“I don’t know,” Emersyn shrugged. “He’s been acting funny lately. I don’t know what his problem is lately. We’re going to college 20 minutes away from each other and I just…I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, if you change your mind…”

“I just want to go lay down.”

“Okay.”

“She okay?”

“I guess she and Diego must be going through a rough patch.”

“They’ll be okay.”

“I hope so.”

“Try not to worry. Whatever it is, I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“Papi?”

“Si, princesa?”

“Can I sleep in here with you and Mami? Hudson is snoring.”

“Sure,” he smiled. “Are you excited about tomorrow?”

“Yes. Aunt Sylvie picked out the prettiest dress for me to wear. I get to match Mami.”

“I bet you’ll look every bit as beautiful as your Mami, too.”

“Me too.”

“She’s so humble.”

“What does that mean, Papi?”

“I’ll explain it later. Try to get some sleep.”

 

Gabby and Izzy helped Sylvie get ready the next day. Sylvie and Gabby had been close when they were paramedics, even sharing an apartment before Gabby married Matt Casey.

“So, Gabby, you and Matt?”

“We’re still working things out. No one’s filing for anything yet. Especially since I just found out I’m pregnant.”

“You’re what?” Sylvie and Izzy both asked.

“Don’t say anything to Antonio, you two. We’re not telling anyone yet.”

“You’re turn, Sylvie.”

“I think I’m fine with Eva and Diego since I didn’t have to give birth to them.”

“Oh, it’s not that bad. I’ve given birth pretty much every way possible. In the hospital with drugs, a c-section, and at home with nothing.”

“That is one thing I am so not doing,” Gabby laughed.

“It’s not that bad, Gabby. Come on, you’re a fire fighter.”

“And you’re a cop that’s been shot. Which was worse?”

“The home birth. I’m not even going to lie,” she laughed.

“See?”

Sylvie’s dad walked in. “Are you ladies ready?”

“I think so, Dad. How do I look?”

“You look beautiful, kid. You’re not running from this one, are you?”

“Of course not, Dad,” she laughed. “I’m ready, finally.”

“Good.”

“Come on, Gabby.”

“Izzy just a sec.”

“What’s up, Sylvie?”

“I wanted to thank you.”

“For what?”

“Convincing me to come to New York and helping me get a job and getting back to Antonio.”

“He’s my best friend. I didn’t like seeing him so miserable.”

“Well, that’s why you are pretty much the unofficial best man. If it wasn’t for you, none of this would’ve happened. We are both so…so…”

“Okay, I got it. Don’t ruin your make-up. You’re welcome.”

 

“Dawson is finally married.”

“What do you mean, Ruzek? He’s been married before,” Atwater laughed.

“You know what I mean, Kev.”

“Nah I don’t think I do.”

“Izzy tell Atwater to leave me alone.”

“Atwater?”

“What’s up, Lieutenant?”

“Keeping fucking with Ruzek.”

“Seriously, Izzy? I’ve always been nice to you.”

“A little too nice once.”

“I didn’t know you were married. My bad.”

“Speaking of, are you finally going to make it down the aisle with Burgess?”

“Two months. Can you believe it?”

“Nope,” she laughed.

“Oh, you mean…you mean like…wait what?”

“I’m going to find my husband.”

Rafael was sitting at the bar, talking to Halstead and Nick. “Hey, beautiful.”

“What have you been up to?”

“Just talking and drinking. What else is there to do at a reception? And watching our daughter sit alone.”

“Diego still ignoring her?”

“He’s been over a few times. They danced once. I can’t get a read on him though.”

“Looks like he’s going back over to her. Come on. Dance with me.”

“I would, mi amor but I already promised another beautiful blond I’d dance with her first.”

“Is that right?”

“Yep and there she is,” he said as he motioned to Rhian walking up.

“Are you ready, Papi? This is my favorite song.”

“The last three have been her favorites,” he laughed as he handed his drink to his wife. “I’ll be back, cariño.”

 

“You listen to Laura and don’t give her any problems.”

“I won’t, Mom. I promise. You guys are really going to let me stay in Chicago for the rest of the week?”

“It was a hard sell but you are 18 now. So, your Dad will switch your ticket and you can come home Friday.”

“Thank you!”

“Everything okay with you guys though?”

“Yeah. We talked at the reception. I guess we’re both a little nervous about college.”

“Well, you don’t leave until August. You have plenty of time to get nervous. Now, you can go get some clothes, food but don’t overdo it with that credit card. You know your Dad will be watching it.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Okay, the kids are packed. We gotta get going, mi amor.”

“I know.”

“Behave yourself out here.”

“I will, Dad.”

“Your Mom give you the credit card speech?”

“Yes,” she answered as she rolled her eyes.

“I mean it.”

“I know. Don’t worry so much.”

“Your my daughter. I always worry.”

“Hey, Em, you ready? I got my mom’s car downstairs.”

“Yeah, Diego. Thanks for letting me stay out here for the week.”

“Well, I’ve got to let go sometime, don’t I?”

“You really do, Dad,” she laughed. “Go so you don’t miss your flight.”

“You sound like your mother. I’ll get your flight changed to Friday. Diego not one hair on her head better get harmed while she’s out here with you.”

“She’s in good hands with me. Okay that might have been the wrong choice of words,” he said after noticing Rafael’s eyes narrow.

“I know where you live in New York. Don’t ever forget that.”

“Yes, sir.”


	177. Chapter 177

“How long are you guys going to be gone?”

“4 days, Em.”

“And we really have to stay in Brooklyn, Dad?”

“You need to spend time with your grandparents before you leave in a month. Don’t fight me on this.”

“I’m not it’s just…”

“Emersyn please. I don’t want to hear anything about Diego. You guys are going to college 20 minutes from each other so you’ll still see each other plenty, I’m sure.”

“I know.”

“And I’m sure you’ll still see him since he’ll be a few blocks away at his grandmother’s.”

“That’s true.”

“Wipe that smile off your face.”

“Sorry.”

“Do me a favor and go see if your Mom needs any help getting your brother and sister’s stuff together, please.”

“Okay. What are you guys gonna do without me?”

“I think we’ll survive.”

 

“Did anyone bother checking the weather?” Nick asked as they listened to the rain pour outside of the cabin they had all rented upstate.

“Yeah, it’s supposed to rain during our entire stay,” Cassidy replied.

“So, we’re all going to be stuck in here…together?”

“Unfortunately, Dawson,” Barba said as he rolled his eyes.

“Come on, there’s got to be something we can do to keep ourselves occupied.”

“Like what, Liv?” 

“I don’t know, Rollins. Anyone bring cards or anything?”

“I did.”

“Always the boy scout aren’t you, Carisi?”

“Leave him alone, Raf. Who wants to lose some money to me?”

“That’s why we stopped letting you play a long time ago, Izz,” Mike laughed.

“I have an idea.”

“What’s that, Cassidy?”

“Let’s play…strip poker.”

“I think you’ve had too many beers already, Bri.”

“Come on, Liv. Don’t you think it would be fun? We’re all friends here.”

“And some of us are in our 50s,” Liv added.

“So? You’re still beautiful, Liv. Come on. Barba?”

“No, Cassidy.”

“Rollins?”

“Uh-huh,” she shook her head.

“You guys are no fun.”

 

Two hours went by as they watched TV, played on their phones, etc. Brian still brought up strip poker every so often, to which he was met with a collective “no”.

“You know, I packed some of those oils you like. What do you say we go upstairs and I baste you like a turkey?” Rafael whispered to his wife.

“Oh my god, Rafael!” She laughed. “You’ve had too many to drink, I believe.”

“It’s very possible. Fuck, I’m bored!!”

“Okay, so I didn’t bring cards like I thought. But I did find Monopoly.”

“Oh, you don’t want to play that with Izzy.”

“Dawson’s right,” Rafael agreed, “She starts to lose and she’ll just dump the board over.”

“We can make it interesting.”

“Cassidy no,” Rollins said.

“Come on, could be fun.”

“Are you seriously advocating “Strip Monopoly”, Amaro?”

“Why not, Sylvie? Like Cassidy said, we’re all friends here.”

“I’m in.”

“Rafa!”

“What? We wouldn’t be bored anymore. Carisi?”

“Why not? What’s the matter girls, are you scared?”

“Excuse me?” Carmen asked her husband. “Scared of what besides seeing your white ass legs?”

“We can split up into teams,” Liv suggested.

“And how about this? We take turns. Like say Barba and Izzy own something that Alice and I land on, I would take something off first, then the next time would be Alice’s turn.”

“That seems fair,” Dawson nodded. “And if you land in jail both people have to take something off.”

“We’re not getting out of this, are we, Izzy?”

“I don’t think so, Amanda.”

 

“Brian that is the fourth time you’ve landed in Dallas, which we own, so I think it’s time for the pants to go,” Izzy laughed.

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

“Hey, you made me.”

“You still have a tank top on, too.”

“Come on, Cassidy.”

“Okay, look, I don’t have anything on…under my pants.”

“Moment to make fun of that, please.”

“Zip it, Carisi. You’re the one sitting there in tighty-whities.”

“Yeah, what are you, 8? Hudson doesn’t even wear those anymore and he’s about to be 8!”

“Sorry I don’t wear expensive silk boxers like you, Barba.”

“I can’t wear stuff like you and Amaro. I gotta have room. That kind of stuff is too restricting for me.”

“Hey, I’m a grower, not a shower. Tell them, Amanda.”

“He’s a grower, not a shower,” she laughed.

“Okay, how about I just give you guys a peak at the good stuff? It’s a little cold in here.”

“I tell you what, Cassidy. You can have a blanket,” Izzy told him.

“I hate this game.”

 

“I just don’t get it, honestly.”

“How in the hell are you still married, Carisi?”

“I’m just saying, Nick, it’s like she’s scooting a chair when she’s on top. I mean it feels good, I just don’t understand it.”

“She’s trying to hit her g-spot since clearly you can’t. Lay there and let her get hers. It’s not all about you, Carisi.”

“Listen to the man, Carisi. You and Izzy will be together how long this year?”

“28 years, Cassidy. Ask me why.”

“Cause nobody else could keep up with you horny fuckers,” Dawson laughed.

“And you can always finish her off if you come before she does,” Mike added.

“You mean after I’ve finished?”

“Oh, Jesus. Have you learned nothing from us over the years?!” Nick laughed.

“How can you be so damn selfish,” Dawson replied.

“Well, how would I…I mean she has toys…”

“Let her sit on your face and take care of her that way.”

“Seriously, Barba?”

“It doesn’t happen often but I let my wife have a seat if it does.”

“I do the same,” Mike said as he raised his hand, along with Nick, Dawson, and Cassidy.

“Sex is not about us. It’s about them. I make sure my wife finishes no matter what. I can usually get two out of her during foreplay and then one more during sex. To me, it’s not good for Izzy unless I can get her there 3 times. If that means, I have to use my mouth again after I’m done, so be it. I make sure she’s satisfied because it makes my life a hell of a lot easier.”

“What do you mean?”

“There were a few times, when we were in college, I’d get mine and then I’d roll over and go to sleep.”

“Barba are you serious?”

“Quite, Nick. Well, she finally got tired of it. She’d give me head and then wouldn’t finish. I’d have to take care of it myself.”

“How did you know she ‘punishing’ you?”

“She said something along the lines of ‘when I get to finish then maybe I’ll let you’. I was like ‘you idiot’. She’s never had to finish herself off or go without since.”

 

“What is it about men after sex?”

“What do you mean, Carmen?”

“I mean it’s like Sonny gets his, he’s there as a vulnerable human being and then…” she let her head drop as she made snoring sounds. “By that time, I’m usually like ‘I’m ready’.”

“Men can be like that. So damn selfish sometimes. As long they get theirs. I mean don’t get me wrong, sex can be good without an orgasm but it’s a hell of a lot better with one,” Sylvie added.

“Or two or three,” Izzy laughed.

“Not every man has the stamina Barba does,” Rollins laughed.

“Oh, he’s pulled that shit in the past. He got taught a lesson, too. Don’t get me used to having an orgasm and then decide once you get yours, I’m on my own. Fuck that. That’s not what that dick is there for.”

“Brian learned the same lesson. At least make a fucking attempt.”

“Liv’s right. I can deal with it if Mike doesn’t get me all the way there and maybe it’s just me cause I’m really tired or something. As long as he tries, I’m fine.”

“Exactly. Carmen you’re gonna have to get Carisi trained. You guys have been married long enough, he should know better,” Izzy told her.

“And he hangs out with probably some of the most experienced men in New York City. All he has to do is ask and I’m sure they can point him in the right direction.”

“Rollins has a point. I’ve cut Brian off more than once over being selfish in bed.”


	178. Chapter 178

“Okay, is that everything?”

“Jackson is bringing up one more box, Dad.”

“What is in here? Rocks?”

“They’re these things called books, Jack. Maybe you should pick one up sometime.”

“Ha ha, Emersyn.”

“Okay, you two. Don’t spend your last few minutes arguing.”

“Sorry, Mom.”

“When will your roommate be here?”

“Tomorrow I think, Dad.”

“Okay. You have your credit card and your debit card?”

“Yes.”

“The extra set of keys for your car?”

“In my purse.”

“Get them out and put them in your desk. I can’t tell you how many times your mother had to call someone to come unlock her car because the extra set was in her purse, locked in the car. I finally took the extra set myself.”

“I didn’t do that as many times as you make it sound.”

“Izz…14 times in the first three months you had the car. And I kept telling you…”

“Okay that was 1,000 years ago.”

“Uh, 28, Jackson, but close. How you maintain a ‘B’ average in math is beyond me.”

“Funny, Dad.”

“Always make sure that car is full of gas, too.”

“Dad I got it really.”

“I know you think you do.”

“Raf she’s going to be fine. Come on, why don’t get something to eat before we head back to New York?”

“Mom I want to unpack and just kind of relax. That was a long drive and I’d like some time alone before my roommate shows up.”

“Code for, as soon as Diego is finished unpacking, he’ll be here.”

“Ugh, shut up, Jackson!”

“What? Tell me I’m lying.”

“Mom?”

“Jack leave your sister alone, please. Okay, well, Rafa?”

“Huh?”

“Dad don’t cry.”

“I’m not. My allergies are bothering me.”

“Dad…”

“He’ll be fine, Emersyn.”

“It’s going to be hard not seeing you every morning,” he said as he hugged his daughter.

“I know. I don’t know how I’m gonna make it without your chocolate peanut butter pancakes.”

“I’ll make them every time you come home. I promise. Okay. Head in the books, you got it?”

“I got it, Dad.”

“This is costing us a small fortune. Mami wanted to retire in two years. She won’t be able to now.”

“Don’t listen to your Dad. I have no plans of retiring anytime soon. Remember everything Aunt Amanda and I taught you.”

“I can take somebody down if I have to.”

“Good. Okay, boys. Let’s leave her to get settled.”

 

“So, if the Gillette’s murder isn’t a hate crime, why did it kicked to us?”

“Doom I’m just in charge since Mike is with Special Frauds for the time being. I just do what Harris tells me,” Izzy moaned.

“No, you don’t,” Dunbar laughed.

“Well, I’ll put it to you like this; the Gillette’s gave generously to the Police Athletic League, were major campaign donors to the Mayor, and had the Police Commissioner on speed dial. The Commissioner called Harris personally. Reason enough?”

“At least it’s honest.”

“They were rich, powerful, and connected so the Commissioner thinks they were targeted because of that. I thought this could be passed to SVU honestly but it doesn’t matter what I think.”

“And this definitely wasn’t a murder-suicide?”

“All of Warner’s findings point to a hard no, Dawson. So, go pick up the daughter and see if she knows anyone that might’ve had a score to settle with her parents.”

“Actually, Izzy, you and Dawson go,” Harris said as he walked up.

 

“Mike why didn’t you tell me you were tailing Anne Gillette?”

“This investigation is strictly off the books. I couldn’t.”

“And she thinks you’re stalking her. Why are you running a shadow op, Dodds?”

“My orders come from the Chief of D’s and the Mayor. I had to investigate Anne sub rosa, so her family couldn't quash the case.”

“For?”

“For embezzlement.” 

“The Gillette fortune wasn't enough?”

“Anne has expensive tastes. Her trust fund ran out, so she used her seat on the Prestwick Foundation board to supplement her income. Stole $3.5 million.”

“Jesus Christ,” Dawson muttered. “Let me guess, she’s the sole heir to her parents estate?”

“That’s over $200 million.”

“Fuck. You really think we have a modern day Lizzie Borden on our hands?”

“You know what we’ve seen in our day, Izz. Would you really be shocked?”

 

“Two misdemeanors for witness tampering? She'll waltz out of arraignments on low bail, the minute the judge gavels,” Harris said in frustration.

“Okay, so we got nothing on the murder. We could get a felony charge if Nigel Prestwick cooperates on the embezzlement,” Izzy told him.

“Okay? Does he have any weaknesses you can leverage?”

“He's a milquetoast. Typical fifth generation WASP elite. Inbreeding has melted their brains,” Mike replied. 

“There's got to be something. I mean, is he a tax cheat? A philanderer?” 

“Just a cheapskate, Dawson. Nigel bills all his personal expenses to the Foundation. It pays his dues at the Yale Club, the Century Club, and something called the Donatien Society.” 

“Wait. Did you say the Donatien Society, Mike?”

“What did I miss?” 

“Mr. Milquetoast is not so vanilla. Hold off on transporting Anne. Let's go talk to Prestwick, Dawson.”

 

“I told you, Lieutenant. I can't press charges. Out of respect for Bert Gillette…” 

“Let's cut to the chase, Nigel. May I call you Nigel? You see, Nigel, I know that men have needs. But when a wife can't fill those needs, men have to look elsewhere. Yes. But sometimes, those needs are misunderstood. Judged unfairly by society. On your knees, bitch. Now!” As soon as Izzy let out the command, Nigel Prestwick licked her boot and Dawson walked in and took a picture with his phone.

“Get up. You owe me a new pair of boots, sicko.”

“Please. Delete it.” 

“I will. After you press charges on Anne Gillette for embezzlement.”. 

“Donors will lose respect for us.” 

“Your wife is going to lose respect for you after she finds out about your dirty little fetish. You think you're pretty clever there, naming your secret society after the Marquis de Sade? Donatien Alphonse Francois. You can protect Anne, or you can save your own skin. But you can't do both. You see, because a couple of years ago while we were still at SVU, we arrested two sadists who were members of your little club. And I remember we seized a whole lot of videos.” 

“You know, we should check the evidence locker to see if our friend Nigel here is on tape. Because I specifically remember, there was one on Nazi role playing,” Dawson added. 

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

“You’re a good man, Nigel. Make that check payable to Prada for my boots, by the way.”

 

“Heard you’ve been having a fun day,” Rafael smirked as Izzy walked into his chambers.

“I need like 7 showers to rid myself of Prestwick’s germs,” she shuddered. “The fool actually liked my boot. Blech!!”

“I’ll buy you a new pair,” he said with a disgusted look on his face.

“I could kill Harris for bowing down and taking this case.”

“I thought I heard my name.”

“Steven seriously are you following me?”

“Well, I thought I should deliver the news in person.”

“What news?”

“You and Dawson are off the case.”

“What? Why?”

“Anne Gillette just put a hit out on the two of you.”

Rafael immediately picked up his phone before Izzy could speak. “Stella? Hey, yeah. I need a favor. Can you get the kids and keep them for a few days? No, nothing like that. A hit was just put out on your daughter and Antonio. Okay. Yes. Just straight to your house after school. I’ll bring them some clothes later. Thanks.”

“You didn’t have to do that, Raf, cause if I know Harris, our apartment’s going to be surrounded. Along with Dawson and Sylvie’s.”

“And I’m putting a call into Boston Police. We don’t know what this woman is capable of.”

 

After Dawson and Izzy were “shot” while transporting Anne Gillette by the hitman she had gotten in touch with, the van pulled away and they got off ground. “First my boots and now my shirt?” She moaned as she took off the pink button up that was riddled with bullet holes and covered in fake blood.

“Barba can take you shopping. Here’s your other shirt.”

“Thanks. Fin got her to the hotel yet?”

“They just walked in the room,” Rollins answered. “Miss Thing is changing out of her orange jumpsuit. She’s a summer after all.”

“I have to say, when my cellmate told me she knew a hit man, I had no idea you'd be so attractive.” 

“I'm the total package.” 

“I wish I'd met you sooner. Your skills would have come in handy.” 

“In killing your parents?” 

“I didn't.” 

“Relax, baby. You're among friends. But an ax? That's old school.”

“You didn't know my mother. The constant judgment, the carping and then, the bitch tried to tell my daddy to cut me out of the will. I had him wrapped around my finger for years. But Mother was out to get me, always whispering nasty things in his ear. I didn't want him dead, but Collateral damage. Exactly. You know, you should come with me, darling. I could always use a man with your skills. The possibilities for us are endless. Rio is always beautiful this time of year, and Carnival is starting soon.”

“We got her. Let’s go.”

 

“I tell you, Harris. Another case like this…”

“I didn’t have a choice, Izzy. You know that.”

“This was clearly something Homicide could’ve handled.”

“You don’t think I didn’t argue that point? Homicide doesn’t have the more experienced detectives like other departments. They went through a complete overhaul just a little over a month ago.”

“I’m surprised you weren’t sent over there to clean up that mess.”

“I actually refused. I’ve done my share of cleaning up departments over the years. I’m fine where I’m at.”

“When’s Mike coming back?”

“Uh, in a few weeks actually. Benson is the next to go on forced furlough and you are going over there while she’s off.”

“Fin can run things.”

“But with Benson being off, that puts them a man down. You and your partner can go help out while she’s gone. I know you guys miss it anyways.”

She just sat lightly shaking her head at Harris. “You’ve been a pain in my ass for the last 21 years, Harris.”

“But you’re good at your job and you have me to thank. How’s Emersyn liking Harvard?”

“So far, so good. It’s only been a few weeks but she sounds happy every time she calls.”

“And how many times a day does Barba call her?”

“At first, it was two or three times. I finally got him down to two or three times a week.”

“He’ll get better. Why don’t you get out of here? Take him out to dinner.”

“I’ll make him take me out to dinner.”


	179. Chapter 179

“Carmen I’m done for the day so I believe I’m going to pick up my daughter from Kindergarten. You are free to go as well. Go aggravate your husband or something.”

“Or I can go home and get some peace and quiet before he gets home and the kids get out of daycare.”

“Now you sound like my wife,” he laughed. “See you tomorrow.”

 

“Papi!!”

“Hola, Princesa!”

“Why are you here today?”

“I thought I’d come pick you up since I got finished early.”

“Can we get ice cream?”

“Sure, but don’t tell Mami. She’d have my head if she knew I let you have ice cream before dinner.”

“I can keep a secret, Papi. I promise.”

“Good,” he laughed.

“So, what did you do in school today?”

“We did colors and shapes. I got them all right, too.”

“That’s great, mija. So, you like school?”

“I do, Papi but…”

“But what?”

“I like school but I miss you, Papi.”

“Well, I have to work and you have to keep getting smart by going to school.”

“I know but when I was in the other school, I got to see you more.”

“I know. How about Saturday, you and I go to the park?”

“Just us?”

“Just us, princesa,” he smiled.

 

“Mami!”

“Hey, baby girl. Where have you been?”

“Didn’t Papi tell you? He came and picked me up from school and then took me out for ice cream. Oops.”

“Rafael!”

“I thought you could keep a secret, mija?”

“Sorry,” she shrugged. “I didn’t mean to. Can we still go to the park Saturday?”

“Yes,” he laughed as he shook his head while loosening his tie.

“Rafael Eduardo Barba, I swear…”

“It’s not going to spoil her dinner. I’ve done that will all of them.”

“Mami, Mami!”

“What is it, Rhian?”

“I almost forgot. Look what Liam gave me,” she said as she pulled a ring pop from her backpack.

“That was nice of him. Why did he give you that?”

“He said I was his girlfriend. That means since he gave me a ring, he can kiss me, right, Papi?”

“I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

“Raf come on. It’s harmless.”

“Yeah, okay. You can’t kiss Liam but you give Papi all the hugs and kisses you want,” Rafael said as he scooped her up.

“You need to stop, Rafa.”

“You secretly hate that Jesse kissed Hudson. Don’t lie to me, cariño.”

She gave him a look that could’ve killed him where he stood, which just made him laugh.

“I think I made my point.”

“Go check on the boys for me so I can start dinner.”

“Come on, Rhiannon. Papi’s in trouble,” he laughed as they walked out of the kitchen.

 

“Mom! Dad! I’m home!”

“Hey, Em. Your Dad took Rhian to the park. I didn’t expect you for another a week or two. Let me guess you need laundry done?”

“I’ve been doing my own. Mid-terms wore me out.”

“Did Diego come with you?”

“Yeah, I dropped him off. He wanted to see his Dad and Sylvie. He’ll be over later.”

“Okay. Oh, well, I was going to call you later anyways. It’s time for your IUD to be replaced.”

“Thanks for reminding me. So, is my room still the same or have you and Dad turned into a home gym or something?”

“There’s a perfectly good gym in the building so why would we waste that kind of money? Besides, with you going to Harvard, we can’t exactly afford something that.”

“Mom come on. You and Dad have saved plenty of money over the years. Stop acting like you guys are broke,” she laughed, knowing her mom was just teasing her.

“So, other than all that, how are you liking it up there?”

“It’s nice. It’s been an adjustment. Diego is taking more classes than I am so we really only get to see each other on the weekends. It’s not so bad, though.”

“Good. Have you decided on a major yet?”

“I’m still going back and forth. I keep leaning toward Economics.”

“That would be good. That’s what your Dad minored in actually.”

“So, are we really going to Georgia for Thanksgiving?”

“Aunt Amanda has talked us into it. We’ve got a cabin down there. It’s just going to be us and the Rollins-Amaro family.”

“Jackson said something about going hunting?”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Izzy laughed. “Could you see your Dad and Uncle Nick walking around the woods with rifles, not only that the two of them killing and cleaning something for us to eat? We’ll have plenty of groceries, I promise.”

“Do I really have to go, though?”

“Why? What do you have up your sleeve?”

“Ava’s gonna be here so I thought I could spend Thanksgiving with Diego’s family?”

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t be that big of an issue. I’ll talk to your Dad but Christmas…”

“Come on. We all get together at Christmas.”

“Okay. I suppose you staying here for Thanksgiving isn’t that big of a deal.”

“Thanks, Mom. Where’s Hudson and Jackson, by the way?”

“Nick and Amanda’s actually.”

“You guys are going to have to keep an eye on Hudson and Jesse.”

“That’s not even funny. Go to your room.”

“I was going anyways because that is a long ass drive.”

“Trust me, I remember. If I wasn’t driving, I was sleeping.”


	180. Chapter 180

“You sure you don’t want to anything for our birthdays this year, mi amor?” Rafael asked as they laid in bed one night.

“Yeah. We can just order out, watch TV. Nothing special.”

“If you’re sure. I mean, our birthday’s in a way, kind of sucked last year.”

“Raf!”

“I mean, I think we both enjoyed the time we spent together but the fact is we were…separated.”

“Well, we technically got back together on my birthday. So, mine started off sucking but ended pretty well.”

“Mine was great for about 2 hours, then I had to leave. It took everything I had to hold it together when I left.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. As soon as the elevator closed, I couldn’t do it anymore.”

“You never told me that.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Well, you weren’t the only one that lost it after you left.”

“I guess just a quiet evening at home wouldn’t be so bad,” he smiled as he leaned over to kiss her.

 

“Any big plans for your birthday?”

“Not this year, Rollins. We’re just going to hang out at home,” Izzy answered as they ate lunch in the breakroom of SVU.

“Well, hard to top last year.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you guys got back together. That was a big deal in my book.”

“That’s why we’re just taking it easy this year.”

“Hey, Lieutenant?”

“What’s up, Erin?”

“You got a delivery.”

“Wonder what it could be,” Izzy laughed, knowing exactly what it was. She had been waiting on them all day. “Just have them put it on Liv’s desk. I’ll be in there in a minute.”

“No problem.”

“So, everything been okay with you guys?”

“Yeah. I guess the guys still don’t really want Tony to hang out though.”

“I know Nick doesn’t. He’s still pissed over that. So is Fin, for that matter.”

“Dawson, too.”

“Me, too, what?”

“Nothing, Dawson. Here. You owe me $12,” Izzy said throwing his sandwich at him.

“I’ll get your back.”

“You better.”

 

“Thank you, guys so much for watching the kids tonight.”

“Of course, Rafael,” Stella told him.

“I thought you two didn’t have any big plans.”

“Well, Anthony, I decided that I’d surprise your daughter instead. I’ve always been so anal about making plans, so I thought a little spontaneity wouldn’t hurt. I’m going to take her to dinner and maybe dancing even. We haven’t done that in years.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me, son.”

“Okay, you guys be good for your grandparents.”

“We will, Dad.”

“Okay. I’ll call or text you and let you know when I send a car for you guys in the morning.”

“You two have fun,” Stella called from upstairs before Rafael left.

 

“Lieutenant?”

“Hey,” she smiled as she looked up from the file she was going over.

“Are you almost finished?”

“I am, actually. You want me to go ahead and order something to eat…”

“I had something else in mind.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Come on,” he said as he handed her the gray blazer she had worn that day.

“What are you up to?”

“Will you just come on?”

“Am I dressed okay?”

“Of course, you are. Let’s go.”

 

“La Bernardin? How did you get a reservation at the last minute?”

“I’m a Manhattan Judge, cariño. I have a little pull,” he laughed.

“So, what else do you have planned?” She asked as they waited on their food and had a few drinks.

“That’s a surprise, mi amor.”

“What made you change your mind? I thought we had decided just to take it easy?”

“Well, while our birthday’s last year culminated in us getting back together to fix our marriage, it still wasn’t the greatest. I was sitting at my desk and I decided that we deserved to actually celebrate this year. Are you disappointed about the change in plans?”

“Not at all. I am pleasantly surprised,” she smiled. 

“Glad I can still surprise you after all these years.”

 

“So, now what do you have planned?”

“I thought maybe we could do something we haven’t done in years.”

“What’s that, Raf?”

“How would you feel about going dancing?”

“Dancing? A couple of old people like ourselves?”

“You’re only as young as you feel. I don’t know about you but I feel like a man of 40 tonight.”

“Then that would make 38,” she laughed.

“What do you say?”

“Hmmm…”

“Come on. We can show anyone younger than us how it’s supposed to be done.”

They ended up at Retroclubnyc in Chelsea. 

“Shouldn’t we have changed if you wanted to go dancing?”

“My jacket and vest comes off, love,” he said with a wink as he rolled up his sleeves.

After a few dances, they went back to their table. He slid into the booth next her, his lips making contact with her neck. “You looked so hot out there.”

“You didn’t look so bad yourself, Your Honor.”

His hand started moving up her thigh under her skirt.

“Raf…”

“Si?”

“What are you doing?”

“Sólo divirtiéndome un poco, mi amor (just having a little fun). ¿Pasa algo (Something wrong)?”

“No, para nada(no, not at all). ¿Quieres salir de aquí (You want to get out of here)?”

“Leíste mi mente, hermosa (You read my mind, beautiful)”, he practically growled in her ear. He paid their tab and they hurried home.

 

He couldn’t keep his hands off of her when they got into the elevator. He broke away from her to hit the stop button on the elevator.

“Raf?”

“I can’t wait until we get home. I gotta have you now,” he panted as he lifted her up against the wall. His dick was throbbing, begging to escape his pants. Everything was a blur as he pushed her panties aside and slid into her. 

“Yes, Rafael. Oh god,” she moaned as he fucked his wife in that elevator.

The excitement of it didn’t let him last very long but neither of them cared. He put himself away and restarted the elevator to get to their floor. He kissed the back of her neck as she fumbled with her keys to unlock their door. He had her pushed against the wall by their alarm keypad while he disabled it.

“Hmm, Rafa…Raf…”

“Yeah?”

“How about…a…shower?”

His breathing was heavy as he stared into her eyes while biting his bottom lip.

“Go start the water.”

After the shower, he was ready to go again. Watching the water fall on her skin had driven him crazy. That turned out to be one of the best nights they had had in a long time. They made love for an hour that night, not including foreplay. 

"Can you tell I'm 49?"

"Not at all, Raf," she said as he held her after they finished that night. 

"So I don't Viagra yet, huh?" He laughed.

"I don't think you will for a while."


	181. Chapter 181

“Amanda how did I let you talk me into this?”

“Come on, Izz. It’s gonna be fun. Just you and me, in nature, no husbands or kids. Just us.”

“Are you hitting on me, Rollins?”

“You wish. Come on, shoot the damn rifle.”

“Rollins I know how to shoot.”

“Hit the damn can so we can get back to the cabin.”

“Fine,” Izzy said as she aimed the 12-gauge shot gun, pulled the trigger, and did what Amanda brought her to do. “Happy?”

“You shoot a deer like that, we’ll be eating good.”

“I’m not skinning it.”

“Don’t be such a wuss.”

“What time are we getting up in the morning?”

“My Daddy always had us out on the stand about 5.”

“This is supposed to be Thanksgiving vacation and you want me up at 5 in the morning?”

“I promise. It’s going to be fun.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

 

“Amanda I am freezing!”

“You have to be quiet, Izzy or you’ll scare the deer off.”

“Fine. Amanda I am freezing,” she whispered.

“You’re from New York and you’re seriously complaining about the cold?”

“I don’t sit outside for hours on end back home.”

“What about stake-outs?”

“I’m in a heated car. Not sitting in a box 100 feet off the ground.”

“We’re not 100 feet off the ground. Come on. Have some more coffee.”

 

“How do you think ‘Young Guns’ are doing out there?”

“I don’t even want to think about it, Barba,” Nick laughed.

“You really think they’ll come back with something?”

“You really think your wife is going to kill an innocent animal? She has no problem shooting people but animals?”

“We might as well get something out for dinner or else we won’t eat.”

“That’s a good idea, Barba.”

 

“Amanda?”

“What?”

“How long have we been out here?”

“2 hours. Why?”

“I need to be pee.”

“There’s a coffee can in the corner of the stand.”

“OH, WAKE UP!!!”

“Shh!!”

“I’ll just hold it. Sure, after giving birth to two kids, I have to be careful when I laugh or sneeze, but I can hold it.”

“You are such a city girl,” Amanda laughed in a whisper.

 

“Hey, you ladies have fun?”

“Where’s the deer?” Nick laughed.

“Well, we had one, I’m taking big, would’ve been great to eat. I tell Izzy to get her rifle ready and she says, ‘No, I got this’ and pulls out her Glock.”

“You did what?”

“I’m more accurate with it, Nick.”

“So, while I’m arguing with her, telling her that was not legal, he ran off. Probably telling all the other deer to stay away.”

“That means no dinner?”

“Blame your wife, Barba.”

“Well, good thing Nick got prepared this morning.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s steaks on the grill,” Nick laughed. “Zara made a salad and we have a few other things.”

“You guys had that little faith in us? Seriously?”

“I had faith in Amanda. You, on the other hand, Lieutenant.”

“Can it, Amaro. Where are the kids?”

“Rhiannon is still sneezing and coughing so she’s still taking a nap. Hudson and Jesse were playing a game on the XBOX, Jack and Zara are outside, watching the food.”

“How long before we eat?”

“What do you think, Barba? Another 20-30 minutes?”

“Roughly. I set the grill on low.”

“Good, I’m going to take a shower.”

“Need some help?”

“You keep working on dinner, Raf.”

 

“Mom?!”

“Emersyn? Hey! I thought you were coming home tomorrow?”

“I wanted to beat the Christmas traffic.”

“I get it. Are you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“You just have a look about you. School isn’t being too much for you?”

“No, nothing like that.”

“Go put you things up and come back downstairs.”

“Mom I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. After 18 years, I think I know when something’s bothering you.”

“Ugh okay. I’m just gonna say it. I’m late.”

“You’re what?” Rafael asked as he came around the corner.

“Dad!”

“What did you just tell your mother?”


	182. Chapter 182

She took a deep breath as her parents looked at her. “I’m…late.”

“Late for what?”

“Mom.”

“No, no, no. I made you the appointment to have your IUD changed…”

“And I went but I had to reschedule because this charity event I was helping run for the Harvard Democrats.”

“How long did you wait after your period?”

“About two weeks.”

“TWO WEEKS!!! Don’t you know how important it is for that to be changed right after your period?! This has been explained, ad nauseum, mind you since you got it!”

“Mi amor, lower your voice,” Rafael said quietly.

“What?! Are you kidding me?! How irresponsible can you and Diego be? You should still be using condoms anyways!”

“I’m 18.”

“And?!”

“Okay, does Diego know?”

“Yeah.”

“So, what did you guys just think you were going to come home and say ‘guess what, Mom, Dad, Antonio, we might be pregnant? Merry Christmas!”

“No, Dad.”

“Okay. Do you have a test?”

“Are you serious, Rafael?!”

“There is no point in us getting so worked up until we know for sure. Go upstairs and take it.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“We’ll just go from there.”

Emersyn grabbed her bag and walked upstairs to the bathroom. 

“I can’t believe you’re being so calm.”

“Well, it’s not going to do any good for us to yell and scream until we know what’s going on. We lose it on her, it could trigger her into a relapse for all we know.”

“We have beat it into her head…”

“I know but we weren’t always the most responsible, either. I’m not just talking about when we did get pregnant in college. There were several times we played with fire.”

“Mom, Dad?”

They both braced themselves for the fact that their oldest daughter might be changing all their lives forever.

“What did it say?”

“Negative, thank God.”

They both breathed a sigh of relief.

“Okay. Go unpack your stuff.”

“Okay. Thanks for not being so calm about this.”

“I’m getting better with you growing up,” Rafael said with a small laugh as his daughter hugged him “Your mom used to have scares like that.”

She walked up to room. “What are you doing, mi amor?”

“Calling Dawson.”

“Why?”

“I think all of us need to sit down and talk about this. They don’t need to think they got lucky and they can keep being irresponsible.”

“Why don’t you go have a drink to calm down and I’ll call Antonio?”

“No, I should call him. He’s my best friend.”

“Don’t tell him this over the phone. Let them get here and you can tell him face-to-face. Calmly.”

“Okay. Pour me a drink?”

“Sure.”

 

“Hey, Izz.”

“Hey, Dawson, Diego. Thanks for coming.”

“No problem. Sylvie is on a 48 and I figured I’d end up alone once Diego got settled.”

“Diego why don’t you go up to Emersyn’s room?”

“Thanks, Rafael.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Cariño…” 

“What am I missing?”

“Dawson can I get you a drink?”

“Sure, Barba, thanks.”

“I’ll be back,” he said as he kissed his wife on the head and walked out of the dining room.

“Izz everything okay?”

“Has Diego said anything to you about him and Emersyn?”

“Just that they don’t get to see each other as much as he was hoping due to classes and their activities but everything is fine.”

“Okay. Well, she came home and told me she was late.”

“Late? We didn’t expect them until tomorrow.”

“No, Tonio, she was LATE.”

“You mean…oh my god! Are you kidding me?!”

“She took a test and it was negative.”

“So, they were lucky once.”

“Thank you!! That’s the reaction I’ve been waiting on!”

“I’ve bought that boy I don’t how many boxes of rubbers before he left for school. I know they didn’t use them all.”

“Oh, I’m sure they didn’t, either. We have to talk to them.”

“Calmly,” Rafael said as he came back in a bottle of scotch and glass for Antonio.

“I agree, Barba. We can’t yell at them. That will get us nowhere,” Dawson agreed. “They have to know the importance of having back-up if the other method fails.”

“Exactly. That’s what I tried to tell your Lieutenant.”

“Okay, Rafa. Call them down here and we can talk to them…calmly. I let you guys handle it, actually.”

Diego and Emersyn came into the dining room after Rafael called for them.

“Okay. So, we all know that what happened. Izzy told your Dad, Diego.”

“I’m sorry, Rafael.”

“That’s fine. Listen, guys, we know you’ve been together almost 4 years but you can never be too careful. Emersyn had to put off getting her, uh, uh, thing changed because of activities at school but you should’ve been using a condom, regardless.”

“Barba’s right, Diego. I bought you at 4 boxes before you left for college. I know that you didn’t use them all. Did you?”

“No, sir.”

“We have all been there with the pregnancy scares and what-not. You two are in college and need to be worrying about your educations above anything,” Dawson told them.

“We know sex is fun and it feels good but think about this. Would you rather pay $7 for a box of condoms or nearly $30 for a box of diapers that might that you two weeks, if you’re lucky?” Rafael asked. “I mean it’s really a case of simple math. I don’t you guys thinking that because you were lucky this time, that you can keep chancing it. Diego has Emersyn ever told you what happened to me and her mother in college?”

“Yes, sir,” he replied to Rafael.

“You don’t want to go through that, son. I promise. It’s rough. Doesn’t matter if you both make that decision or whatever. I still don’t know how Izzy and I made it through that.”

“It was tough on both of us,” Izzy agreed.

“Diego I’ve told you time and time again, I’m too young to be a grandparent. So are Izzy and Rafael.”

“I know, Dad,” Diego said as he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, Diego Ramon Dawson. We don’t care that you guys are in love and see yourselves being together forever. We want you to be careful and safe. Get out of school, get jobs, then start a family.”

“Okay, Antonio.”

“From now on…”

“Condoms need to be used.”

“Exactly, Diego. I don’t want to have this conversation again,” Rafael told him. “The next time something like this happens, my daughter’s last name better be Dawson.”

“Dad!!”

“I’m just saying. Okay, you guys are excused.”

They got up from the table and went upstairs. Izzy was amazed that her husband had remained so level headed as they talked. 

“You think we got through to them?”

“I hope so, Dawson. We’re both too good-looking to be grandfathers.”

“Oh my god, guys, are you serious?” Izzy laughed.

 

Izzy found Rafael in their bedroom after getting Rhian and Hudson ready for bed. “Hey, love.”

“What?” He snapped.

“You okay?”

“You really think I am? After what we just dealt with this afternoon, you really think I’m okay?”

“You sure seemed like it earlier.”

“You should know better!”

“I thought I did but then you were tell ME to calm down.”

“You know, it was YOUR idea to let her stay in New York for Thanksgiving!”

“Are you blaming this on me?”

“There was no reason she couldn’t come to Georgia with the rest of us! YOU told her she could stay here and have Thanksgiving at Dawson’s!”

“Wow! I can’t believe you’re actually blaming this on me. You do realize she’s 18 and in college?!”

“And things keeps going like this, she won’t finish!”

“Do you know who you sound like just now?”

“Don’t you dare compare to that man ever again,” he said with a quiet anger.

“Well, I seem to remember your dad saying the same thing about you when it came to me.”

He just looked at her, his green eyes narrowed as he walked out and upstairs. Dr. Lindstrom had instructed them that if an argument started to spiral, to just walk away, and come back to it later. Not let it blow up. She waited a few minutes before finding him in his home office.

“Never compare to my father again,” he spoke, knowing she was in the room.

“Well, your Dad…”

“No! I didn’t have an actual Dad until I was 21. Don’t forget that.”

She saw the look in his eyes and decided to just leave him alone and get in bed.

 

“Hey,” he whispered as he climbed in bed with his wife.

“Hey.”

“I’m sorry…”

“No, Raf, I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have blamed you. She’s an adult. They both are. They can make their own decisions. They just need to start making the right ones.”

“I know, Raf. I shouldn’t have compared you to…”

“I understand why you did. You weren’t wrong. I hate that.”

“That was the only time you’ve ever reminded me of him if that makes you feel better,” she smiled.

“It actually does. I guess he wasn’t always horrible. He was right on occasion.”

“Everything is okay. So why don’t we get some rest?”

“Hmm, I think you need to teach me a lesson,” he whispered as he started nibbling on her earlobe.

“Really? And how should I do that?”

“Maybe I need a few smacks on my ass with your paddle.”

“Well, if you think that will teach you how to watch your mouth…”

“It couldn’t hurt. Well, it could, but in a good way,” he said as he moved down her neck.

“Then you need to get your clothes off and get ready to be punished,” she smiled as she got out of bed and went to there closet. She grabbed a few more things out of the lock box they kept that kind of stuff in. She came back to find him laying in the bed, clothes in the floor. “On your knees,” she commanded. She rubbed his ass before placing a bite on one cheek, causing him to moan. “How many do you think you need to really teach you?”

“10?”

“Hmm, 10. How about 15?”

“Okay,” he shuddered. 

“And you will count all of them out loud.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She gave him his 15 smacks, which he counted out load. His naturally tan ass was red once she finished. “Are you okay?”

“Si, mi amor,” he panted.

“Good. On your back.”

Her hand ghosted over his erect cock, causing him to shiver. She quickly took out the furry handcuffs and slapped them on his wrists. Then she grabbed the vibrating cock ring and put it on him and turned it on.

“Oh god,” he moaned.

“Does that feel good, Rafael?”

“Yes, baby.”

Without saying a word, she took every inch of him in her mouth. Her lack of a gag reflex had proven to be a gift over the years. The warmth and wetness of her mouth, couple with the vibration of the cock ring, drove him wild.

“Fuck, mi amor. Keep…going.” She kept going up and down on his cock with her mouth while he moaned her name and other things.

“I’m…I’m…”

She stopped right before he could come. She had felt his cock start to twitch but wanted him to get as close as possible before she stopped.

“Wha-what?”

“Shhhh. You’re fine,” she told him as she sat on top of him.

“Please, cariño. Let me come.”

“Does Rafael need to come?”

“Fuck yes. Please?”

“You think you should?”

“I’ll make sure you’re taken of. Just please. This…is driving me…crazy,” he moaned, referring to the vibration at the base of his cock.

“Well, I can’t have you going crazy, can I?”

“No,” he whispered.

She grabbed his cock and positioned herself just right before she slid down on it. 

“God…damn. You are so…hot. So…tight,” he moaned as she took every inch of him inside of her.

She rode him for a few minutes before he shot his load into her. She didn’t get hers but she really didn’t mind. She had teased him so much, she knew he wouldn’t last long. 

“Fuck…me,” he said as he caught his breath. 

“I thought I just did.”

“Yes, you did. Now. It’s time for you to be taken care of.”

“Oh, honey…”

“No arguments,” he whispered as he started again at her neck and worked his way down. Once his mouth made contact with her clit, her back arched. 

“Fuck, Rafa.”

He didn’t even respond as he kept going at her, like a starving man.

“Yes. Yes. Yes. Right…there. God, Rafael…I’m gonna come!” She announced before she released onto his beard. She expected him to start again.

“Babe?”

“Yeah, Raf?”

“Don’t be too mad at me but…”

“Did I wear you out?”

“This whole day has been tiring. That just…”

“It’s fine, Rafa,” she smiled.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you in morning.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“Have I ever broke a promise?”

“No, you most certainly have not. Come on. Let’s get some sleep.”

“You sure you’re not…”

“Rafael,” Izzy laughed, “It’s totally fine. I can’t wait until the morning.”

 

The next morning, she woke up to her husband in between her legs. “Rafa…oh, God. Just like that,” she moaned as his tongue kept going at her clit. “Oh, god. Yes! I’m gonna come!”

“Come for me, cariño,” he growled before going back at her. 

“Fuck! Yes! Oh…oh…oh god!!!”

He came back up from under the covers. “You want more?”

“Yes, Raf.”

“You want my dick inside of you?”

“Please.”

She barely had the word out before he thrusted into her.

“God, yes. Keep doing that.”

He kept making love to his wife that morning because since it was Christmas break, the kids wouldn’t be up until at least 7.

“You feel so fucking good,” he groaned. They were so lost in the early morning moment, they didn’t even hear any other noises.

“Mami? Papi? Why is the bed shaking?” Rhiannon asked, causing them both to stop and just look at each other. Rafael quickly rolled away from his wife, pulling the covers over them more so than they already had been.

“Uh, uh, we were, uh, having a tickle fight.”

“Then why weren’t you laughing, Mami?”

“Uh, because, uh…Papi doesn’t tickle right.”

“Ohhhh. Papi, you should tickle Mami like you do me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, princesa.”

“Rhiannon go get your iPad and watch ‘Shimmer and Shine’ until we call you for breakfast. Okay?”

“Okay, Mami.”

She shut the door as she walked out.

“I hope you don’t think I can finish,” Rafael scoffed.

“You really think I can?”


	183. Chapter 183

“You wanted to see me, Dad?”

“Yes, Jack. Come in and have a seat.”

“Am I in trouble?”

“Should you be?”

“No.”

“I just want to talk to you for a minute. That’s it,” Rafael told his son. “You know what happened with your sister and Diego?”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t tell stress enough how important it is to always use back-up when it comes to birth control.”

“I know,” he said looking down.

“What’s up?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know that look on your face. Your ass better be using condoms, not just relying on whatever Zara is using. Are you?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“You’re lying to me. Jackson I have told you time and time again…”

“She has one of those things that Emersyn has.”

“I don’t give a fuck what she uses! YOU are my responsibility, not her! What possessed the two of you to stop using condoms?”

“It feels better without them.”

“You’re too young to know that! That attitude is part of what led to me having to pay for an abortion for your mother in college. Did you forget about that?”

“No.”

“I mean if you’re so hellbent on not using rubbers then stick it somewhere that can’t knock her up!”

“What? What do you mean?”

“Nothing. Forget I said anything. I’m warning you now, you get Zara pregnant, you will deal with Amaro because I’m not and neither is your mother.”

“Dad…”

“I had a heart attack almost 7 years ago. Are you and your sister conspiring to do me in before I turn 50? I’ll tell you now, everything goes to your mother!” He seemed to be getting more ridiculous as he went on. “I know I raised you to make good decisions but you are playing Russian Roulette right now. I can’t force you to do anything but I hope you will listen to what I’ve said. You have two years of high school left. Don’t throw it away.”

“You’re right.”

“Yeah, I know,” Rafael laughed.

“Can you not tell Mom about this?”

“I’ll keep this between us but if something happens, you’re on your own with her.”

“Nothing is going to happen. I’m gonna start using condoms again. I promise.”

“Good.”

 

“Okay, so Uncle Mike and Aunt Alice will be here in about 15 minutes. Papa Dodds, Papa, Uncle Tony, Dad, and Jackson are watching the game, of course.”

“That’s what men do on the holidays, Emersyn,” Lucia laughed.

“Why are we having Christmas dinner tonight instead of on Christmas?”

“It’s just immediate family tonight, Em. Abuela and Papa Dodds are going to Miami for Christmas…”

“And Uncle Tony and I are going to Chicago to see Hank.”

“Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll get to see your boyfriend plenty,” Stella laughed. 

“Nonna…”

“You sound like your mother when you whine.”

“Ma!”

“See?”

“Emersyn go tell the guys dinner’s almost ready and make sure Hudson and Rhian are ready, please.”

“Got it, Mom.”

“So, Rafael actually didn’t flip out over her scare a few days ago?”

“Oh, he flipped out, Erin. It was just on me. Like I have any control over what she does. I just really hope that her and Diego listened to Antonio and Rafael. She gets pregnant, he’ll have another heart attack for sure.”

“Sorry we’re late.”

“You’re just in time, Alice,” Izzy laughed as they started taking things to the table.

 

Everyone was talking about various things while Mike constantly aggravated his oldest niece.

“Ugh, Uncle Mike will you leave me alone? I hate being tickled!”

“Papi was tickling Mami the other morning so hard the bed was shaking,” Rhiannon announced to everyone at the table. Rafael dropped his fork and covered his face.

“What?” Erin laughed.

“Yeah, they were having a tickle fight under the covers and Mami said Papi wasn’t doing it right and that’s why she wasn’t laughing.”

Mike started choking on his beer when his youngest niece said that. Izzy and Rafael could’ve died from the embarrassment. Bill and Anthony just rolled in laughter at their granddaughter.

“Rafael, ¿no sabes cómo cerrar una puerta (Rafael, don't you know how to lock a door)?!?” Lucia asked him.

“Eran las 6:00 de la mañana, mami. No suele despertar hasta las 7 (It was 6:00 in the morning, Mami. She doesn't usually wake up until 7). Y técnicamente no vio nada. Teníamos las sábanas sobre nosotros (And technically she didn't see anything. We had the covers over us).”

“Papi is that another thing I have to wait for a ring to do?”

“Yes,” he replied shortly causing everyone to laugh even more.

“Merry Christmas, everybody!!” Tony laughed.

“Oh, this is not happening,” Izzy said as she rubbed her temples.

“You and your brother walked in on us when you guys were that age.”

“MA!!” Tony and Izzy both exclaimed in disgust.

“It’s a part of life. Have the other three never walked in you?”

“Let’s not discuss that here,” Izzy replied.

“I’m just saying. It’s as common as getting the chickenpox, well used to be before the vaccine.”

“Your mother’s right,” Anthony added. “It happens, you bullshit your way out of it, which you two apparently did, and move on. She won’t remember it.”

“No, but we’ll remember this conversation, Dad.”

“Sorry, Rafael. I’m only saying…”

“Let’s stop,” Stella laughed. 

“Yeah, we keep giving them hell, there not be any more tickle fights.”

“Thanks for that, Bill. Really,” Rafael scoffed as he rolled his eyes.


	184. Chapter 184

“How was your dinner with my brother?” Izzy asked as Rafael started taking his cufflinks off.

“Do you remember Nicole Roberts that used to work in the DA’s office?”

“The paralegal that so obviously had a crush on you? Ugh, yeah, I remember her. Why?”

“I ran into her tonight. It’s weird because she acted very strange.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know. I mean she came up to me and asked if I remembered her. At first, I didn’t, I mean, it’s been years. Then when she told me her name, of course I remembered her. Then she says ‘I don’t know how you could forget me’ but it wasn’t flirty. It was sort of, I don’t know, hateful I guess is the best word I can come up with.”

“Hmm. Didn’t she quit? I mean if she was fired that would explain why she’d be hateful but other than that…maybe she’s still just a bitch.”

“You call every woman that flirts with me a bitch.”

“And?”

“You say the girl at Starbucks is a bitch cause she knows my order.”

“Well, she doesn’t know mine!”

“Cause you never order the same thing,” he laughed.

“And I didn’t say she was a bitch. I said she’s a bitch with Daddy issues.”

“Oh, well, excuse me. Anyways, apparently Erin’s mother keeps calling her.”

“Yeah, that’s what she told me. She hasn’t spoken to her since she left Chicago. Erin doesn’t even know how she got her phone number.”

“Google?”

“Smartass,” she muttered.

 

“Liv what brings you by?” Izzy asked as she answered the door.

“Uh, I need to speak to your husband. Is he busy?”

“I believe he was letting Rhian paint his toenails.”

“You’re kidding,” Benson laughed.

“Unfortunately, I am not. You know it’s just that fake stuff.”

“Still, some of that glitter will hang around. Anyways, it’s kind of important.”

“Yeah, sure. I think they’re in her bedroom.”

“Thanks.”

 

“Hey, Benson.”

“Auntie Liv you want me to paint your nails?”

“Maybe some other time, sweetie. Right now, I’ve really got to talk to your Papi, if that’s okay,” Liv smiled.

“Okay. Papi make sure to be very careful and don’t mess up your toes.”

“Alright, Princesa,” he laughed as he got up, but not before giving her a kiss on the cheek. “My office, Liv?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Should I shut the door?”

“Uh, you can, sure.”

“Olivia what’s going on?”

“Do you know Nicole Roberts?”

“Yeah. She was a paralegal at the DA’s office. I actually ran into her a few nights ago. What’s up?”

“She came to my office today. She’s making an accusation.”

“Really? Hmm, if you’re here to ask me anything about her, I didn’t really know her or anyone she hung around.”

“No, Rafael. I’m here because she’s made an accusation against you.”

“Me? What exactly is she saying?”

“She said that you raped her in 2014.”

“What?!” He felt like the earth was going to come out from under him. “Do you believe her?”

“I have to say, she did sound…credible.”

“Liv you can’t think I would rape anyone, let alone cheat on my wife.”

“I have to investigate this.”

“But Liv…”

“Rafa I’m sorry but I have to do my job.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“I shouldn’t even be telling you this but I thought you had a right to know. I’m going to do my best to get to the bottom of this, I promise you.”

“And when you do, you’ll see I’m innocent.”

“Look, just don’t leave town, whatever you do.”

 

“Hey, Liv, you want to stay for dinner? Call Brian to bring Noah over?”

“Uh, I can’t, Izz. I’m sorry. Another time?” 

“Sure.” 

Rafael came up behind Olivia, looking like he had just a scene a ghost. 

“Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Uh, Liv came by to inform me that…um…I’m being investigated for rape.”

“What? Who? Wha-when?”

“Nicole Roberts. She’s claiming I assaulted her in 2014. You have to know that I never did anything with her; consensual or otherwise.”

“I know. It’s going to be okay. Liv will get to the bottom of this.”

“You believe me, right?”

“Of course, I do.”

He didn’t believe her, though. It sat in his head all through that night that she would take the kids and leave, but his time their separation would be permanent.

 

“We all know there is no way Barba did this.”

“She’s claiming he did, Fin. I mean her daughter’s age lines up perfectly and he admitted to being at that Christmas party.”

“But he said he was only there for maybe 45 minutes before he went to meet Izzy for dinner.”

“Until I have someone corroborating this, other than Izzy, I have to do my job.” 

“Do you want to do this?”

“Honestly…I don’t know if I can,” Benson said with tears in her eyes as they walked down the hall of the courthouse. “This isn’t just going to hurt him, it’s going to hurt his kids, and Izzy.”

“I know. Look, you bring the car around.”

“Thanks, Fin.”

“Fin what brings you here?” Barba asked as Fin walked into his chambers.

“I think you know why I’m here, Your Honor.”

“You’re here to arrest me, aren’t you?”

“I have to.”

“Fine,” he said as he stood up from behind his desk. “By the book?”

“I know you’re not going anywhere. We can keep this low-key.”

“Okay.”

 

“I never thought we’d be processing Barba for a crime.”

“You think he’s innocent, Rollins?”

“Fuck yeah, I do. Don’t you, Erin?”

“No. I know he is. He would never cheat on Izzy and he damn sure wouldn’t rape anyone.”

“Good, I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“Look, Rollins, we may not be the best of friends but you and I can both agree Barba is not capable of doing what he’s accused of.”

“You’re absolutely right, Erin. You heard from Melinda on the DNA yet?”

“No and neither has Liv. I don’t know what the fuck is taking so long.”

“Hey, Fin. Where are you going?”

“I just need to get a new shirt, Rollins. My blood pressure has made me sweat through this one,” he answered as he walked to the bunkroom. Once he shut the door, the normally stoic Odafin Tutuola broke down. He couldn’t believe he had to arrest and process one of the best men he ever knew for a crime he knew he couldn’t have committed.

“Uh, hey,” Liv said as she popped her head in.

“Yeah, uh, hey.”

“Are you fixing to take him to arraignment?”

“I’m waiting on Izzy first, Lieutenant.”

“Okay, well, just don’t wait too long. Derek Strauss has picked this up. He’s on the edge of his seat.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Izzy showed up a few minutes later. 

“Get him out of that room.”

“You know I can’t do that, Izzy.”

“Liv he didn’t do this.”

“And I’m doing my best to prove that but I have to tell you…”

“Nothing because my husband didn’t do this.”

“And I know you believe that…”

“And you don’t?”

“Izzy…”

“Liv you can’t seriously think my husband is capable of something like this.”

“I’m doing my…”

“Your best. Do better,” Izzy said as she walked out of Liv’s office. “Baby?”

“Izzy, you know I didn’t…I don’t know why…” he said as tears filled his eyes.

“Shh. You want me to dust off my law license?”

“No. I’m going to need you and not as a lawyer.”

“Okay.”

“Hey, Barba? We gotta go,” Fin said reluctantly.

“I’ll be right behind you,” his wife told him.

 

“Given the severity of the charge against Mr. Barba, the people ask for remand, Your Honor,” Strauss said to Judge Barth. “He has multiple resources and could…”

“Your honor, Mr. Barba is a respected Judge, with two small children. His wife is a Lieutenant with the NYPD. I hardly see him as a flight risk,” Rita Calhoun interrupted.

“Your honor, Mr. Barba could very well flee to Cuba. There have been rumors that his wife helped a rape victim flee outside of the country, free from extradition…”

“My client is not, nor has ever been a citizen a Cuba and any rumors of his wife aiding a victim are simply that, rumors.”

“Judge Barth surely you can appreciate that he could leave this country…”

“Enough, Mr. Strauss. I’m not sure what you’re trying to pull on me but you won’t make a mockery of my courtroom with this request. I’m granting ROR and the defendant will surrender his passport.”

“Let’s get you home,” Izzy told her husband after Judge Barth gave her ruling. Jack McCoy and Chief Dodds had even showed up.

“Mr. Strauss. A word?” McCoy asked outside of the courtroom.

“Yes, sir.”

“You take this to the grandy jury and you better hope like hell you get an indictment because if you don’t and I find any evidence of wrong doing, you’re done.”

“I’ll get the indictment, Mr. McCoy.”

“We’ll see,” Jack told him and not very nicely.

“Accusing my son of rape? You’re in for the fight of your life, just so you’re aware,” Dodds told him before he and Jack walked off.

“Barba! You ready to discuss a deal?”

“There’s no deal to be discussed, Mr. Strauss. My client is innocent and it will be proven. I assure you,” Rita said with a smirk.


	185. Chapter 185

“God, I hated Nicole,” Carmen told Carisi, Amanda, Nick, Fin, and Melinda as they went out for drinks.

“What do you mean, Carmen?”

“She was always trying to get Barba to notice her. I mean, she’d be all over him.”

“Did he ever do anything?”

“God, no, Sonny. He’d brush her off. I even told him once to be careful. I never got a good vibe from her.”

“But she swears her daughter belongs to Barba.”

“There’s no way, Nick. She made him uncomfortable to say the least. She’d bring him files, hang around, wear low cut shirts, short skirts. It was disgusting but he never paid her much attention.”

“So, you think this could be motivated by revenge?” Amanda asked.

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Fin responded. “Melinda how much longer on that DNA?”

“I’m still waiting, Fin. I promise as soon as I know something, SVU will be the first to know. Poor Izzy. You think they’ve told the kids?”

“I doubt it,” Nick replied. “I don’t even think Jackson knows because Zara hasn’t said anything about it.”

“Still. This has to be hard on them,” Carisi remarked.

 

Rafael had insisted that Izzy continue to work while he was on leave. Carisi and Stone had both offered to take a leave of their own to represent him but he wouldn’t have it. He told them they needed to continue to work, as well, and not take time away from other victims. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for Izzy to testify to the grand jury.”

“Barba I understand why you think that but will you stop being a lawyer/judge for just a minute and let me do my job? I think Izzy testifying might be you’re one shot.”

“The grand jury will think she’s just trying to alibi me.”

“Can we not talk about me like I’m not here? She said this happened on what day?”

“December 20th, 2014,” Rita answered Izzy.

“Where are you going?” Rafael asked his wife.

“Home. Rita, tell Strauss I’ll testify.”

“Okay,” she nodded.

“Mi amor…”

“Rafa just let me do this. I can save you. I know I can.”

“What is she up to?”

“I have no idea, Rita.”

“Surely, it’s a plan.”

 

“Mrs. Barba, you said that your husband met you for dinner on the night of December 20th, 2014, is that correct?” Strauss asked her in front of the grand jury.

“Yes.”

“And you were telling the truth?”

“Actually, no.”

“I’m sorry? You said you weren’t telling the truth?”

“No, I wasn’t. He went to Christmas party for maybe 45 minutes then instead of meeting for dinner, we went to a show.”

“Oh, is that right?”

“Yes it is.”

“Can you prove that?” Strauss scoffed.

“Actually, I can,” she smiled as she handed him a file. 

“All this shows is that you had tickets to ‘Wicked’ on that night. Doesn’t mean you actually attended, Lieutenant.”

“Keep reading.”

Strauss went through the file to find copies of their cell phone pings from that night. It showed he went straight from the bar to the theater.

“What did she hand you?” One of the grand jurors asked Strauss. He tried to distract them until another one asked for a court officer, to which he had to explain what was in the folder and showed it to them.

 

“Well, Barba you were wrong,” Rita said as she smiled.

“What do you mean?”

“Your wife testifying and showing proof that there was no way you were alone with Nicole that night saved you. None of them voted to officially indict you.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope. You are free to go.”

“Thank you, Rita.”

“You’ll get my bill. Congratulations.”

“Lunch, mi amor?”

“Actually, Warner just texted me. Paternity test is in.”

“You know I would never…”

“Let’s at least see who you almost took the wrap for.”

 

“Melinda? What do you got?”

“You know that all government employees have to submit a DNA sample. Well, I kept running the sample from Nicole’s daughter, since she was sure you raped her, I thought maybe it was a different ADA. Living with a detective all these years can rub off on you. I finally got a hit.”

“Derek Strauss?”

“The one and only, Izz. My guess, he’s got it out for you, Barba. I’m turning my findings over to McCoy as soon as you two leave. I could be speaking out of turn but Strauss’ run for DA might be nothing but a pipe dream.”

“Thanks, Warner.”

“No problem, Izzy.”

 

“Hey, Fin,” Izzy smiled as she opened the door.

“Can we talk for a minute, shorty?”

“Of course. Come in. You want a beer?”

“Yeah. That’d be nice.”

She grabbed them each a beer as they sat in the kitchen, quietly.

“Listen, Izz, I was just…”

“Doing your job, Fin. I know. It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. To arrest Barba was one of the worst moments of my career.”

“Well, you didn’t cuff him.”

“I know but still you don’t know how horrible it felt to have to do that.”

“Fin. It’s all good in this house. I promise you.”

“Hey, Fin.”

“Uh, hey, Barba. I was just telling your wife how sorry…”

“Fin you had a job to do. You did it. I’m not going to sit here and be pissed about it. I never was. I’m just glad my wife was able to provide proof that it wasn’t me.”

“Well, with Strauss being the father of her child, no one believes she was raped at all.”

“Really?”

“It seems like Strauss had a hard-on for you. Now, I don’t know what McCoy is planning but he came to me and Liv to keep digging into Nicole’s past and Strauss’ as well.”

“Then do what you gotta do, Fin,” Rafael told him. 

“We intend to…Your Honor,” he said as he raised his beer bottle in a mock toast.

 

“Okay, now you staying at Uncle Nick and Aunt Amanda’s…”

“I know, Mom,” Jackson replied. “Stay out of Zara’s room after Uncle Nick goes to sleep. What about the terrible twosome?”

“You shouldn’t talk about your brother and sister like that,” Izzy laughed.

“Tell me those two aren’t thick as thieves,” Jackson chuckled.

“So, what? And they are going to Uncle Mike and Aunt Alice’s tonight. Your Dad needs to decompress.”

“I’m sure he does. I still can’t believe someone would accuse him of something like that.”

“It happens, though. Okay. Go on. Have fun and behave yourself.”

“I will, Mami. Love you.”

“Love you!” Izzy called as Jackson headed to the elevator.

Mike and Alice showed up to get Hudson and Rhiannon about 30 minutes later.

“So, we’re all alone, mi amor.”

“I know. Why don’t you go sit at the table and I’ll bring your dinner to you?”

“What have you kept such a secret from me?”

“Just your favorite meal,” she smiled.

“Seriously?”

“Yes. Now go. Get a drink.”

He did what she said and went to their dining room table. Izzy brought in a plate of Lechon asado con arroz moro y maduros; just like his Abuelita used to make. He smiled so big as she sat his plate in front of him.

“Esto es tan delicioso (this is so Delicious), mi amor.”

“Gracias, Rafael. Es la receta de tu abuelita (It was your grandmother’s récipe).”

“Puedo decirlo, cariño. Es mejor, si eso es posible(I can tell, sweetie. It's better, if that's even possible).”

“Bueno, ella me enseñó algunas cosas (Well she did teach me a few things),” Izzy said with a smile.

 

After dinner, all she wanted to do was take care of her husband. He had been through it for sure. “Just lay down and let me take care of you,” she whispered.

“Si, mi amor.”

She started rubbing his shoulders and his neck as he rested against her torso.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“For what?”

“Believing me,” he replied in his normal tone.

“Rafa I never had any doubt in my mind that you were innocent. I know you too well.”

“I know but…” he started as he choked up. “What if…what if the grand jury…”

“Raf, shhh. Once I found out the date of that party, I remembered what we did that night. Don’t ask me how but I knew you were with me. After all the years we’ve been together, you still ask me if certain things are okay for you to do. How could I ever think you’d force someone to do something?”

He leaned his head back, putting his hand around the back of her neck to pull her in for a kiss. “I love you, Elizabeth.”

“And I love you, Rafael. Forever, right?”

“Forever,” he smiled as he let his wife go back to massaging his neck and shoulders.


	186. Chapter 186

“Well good morning to you,” Izzy laughed after her husband had woken her up to make love. After everything he had been through, no words were needed. She had spent the day and night before basically babying him but she felt he deserved it. Even though he didn’t have to, he was going to make it up to her.

“Why don’t you get your clothes back on and I’ll start breakfast?”

“Why don’t you let me, Raf?”

“I have a better idea. How about we get dressed and go out for breakfast?”

“I’d like that,” she smiled. “Join me in the shower?”

“As if you have to ask,” he said with a crooked smile.

Another round in the shower and they finally got cleaned and out.

 

“I still can’t thank you enough for standing by throughout this whole ordeal.”

“You’re my husband and I’ve told you that I never doubted your innocence.”

“I know. It was just hard for me to believe that.”

“Why?”

“My own best friend didn’t believe me. I could see it every time she questioned me.”

“Let’s enjoy our breakfast and start moving forward.”

“You’re right.”

“When I said let’s enjoy our breakfast, I mean I’ll enjoy mine, you enjoy yours. If you wanted bacon, you should’ve ordered bacon, not ham,” she laughed as she smacked is hand.

“Well, I’m trying to be healthy.”

“Fine. I’m taking your last pancake.”

“Whoa! Nooo!”

“You’re trying to be healthy so two in plenty for you.”

They both laughed, which was much needed. It reminded them both of their college days. Leaving a bar at 2 or 3 and ending up at some diner, picking food of each other’s plates, arguing with each other while still letting the other eat the food they had “stolen”.

 

“Liv?”

“Hey, Izzy. Is this a bad time?”

“Uh, no. He’s in his office.”

“What are you doing here, Olivia?” Rafael asked, surprising both of them.

“I need to get the laundry,” Izzy said as she excused herself.

“Well, I was coming by here to tell you that Strauss orchestrated this whole thing. He wanted a big name to take down and Nicole had told him that she worked with you…”

“Okay. Is that it?”

“It’s being turned over to the FEDs but McCoy seems to think he’s done.”

“That’s good,” he said curtly.

“Rafa you have to know I was just…”

“I know it’s your job to believe the victim. It was my job once, too. Yet, you actually believed I was capable of this.”

“I had to get…”

“I know you had a job to do but to know my best friend doubt my innocence when my own wife didn’t. She knew me enough to know I would hurt anyone. You still had doubts after Carmen came to you about Nicole’s behavior.”

“But she came to me unsolicited. Strauss would’ve used that against her.”

“My wife had an alibi for me. It was the one night we got that month and it was to celebrate our damn anniversary. I went to that party because I was waiting on her to get off work. I was there long enough to have to two drinks, talk to a few ADA’s, and she finally was able to leave; yet you were convinced that not only did I cheat on my wife but I raped someone to do it.”

“Rafa I’m sorry. You know it’s my job to believe and get justice for the victim. You know I was with Fin the day he arrested you. The thought of doing it made me sick to my stomach, I was crying in the hallway, so he sent me to get the car and bit the bullet for me. I knew how much this was going to hurt you and Izzy and the kids but I still had to do my job.”

“I know you were doing your job. You remember when you called me a feminist icon or have you forgotten all the work we did together for 6 years?”

“I remember.”

Izzy heard the whole exchange but decided it was best for him to get it off his chest.

“After that DA in Brooklyn, I mean he did all that work with victims and he was a predator himself.”

“Seriously? All these years and you still have no idea who I am. You can see yourself out,” he said as he turned and walked upstairs. 

 

Izzy came around the corner with her laundry basket to find Liv still standing in the den.

“Izzy…”

“You know, I’m glad I never let you finish your sentences in the precinct that day he was arrested.”

“What do you mean?”

“I knew what you were going to tell me. You were going to tell me to consider the fact that he might’ve been guilty. Weren’t you?”

“Izz…”

“Liv tell me the truth.”

“I just wanted you to be prepared.”

“I was because I knew my husband was innocent. The fact that you thought your best friend was guilty, even for a second, was ridiculous.”

“I couldn’t bring myself to arrest him.”

“No, you just put Fin in a shit situation when you were already condemning my husband. I understand you had a job to do but at the same time, what happened to innocent until proven guilty?”

Liv just kind of stood, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say. “My husband has said his peace and now so have I. If you’ll excuse me, I have laundry that I need to finish before my kids get home.”

“Of course. I know it’s going to take some time but I do love you guys.”

Izzy just sort of nodded as Liv headed for the door.


	187. Chapter 187

“What the hell is the obsession girls have with their eyebrows?” Nick laughed as he, Dawson, and Barba sat in his and Amanda’s living room.

“Oh, I know! When Eva came to visit last month, that was the first thing she said. Not ‘Hey, Dad, have you seen my grades?’ it was ‘Hey, Dad look at my eyebrows. I just got them done. How do they look?”

“Emersyn was the same way! I was like what the hell…when did this become a thing?”

“Well I didn’t help Zara when I told her ‘Thumper wants his feet back’ when she asked if thought they weren’t thin enough. I mean is your son encouraging this, Barba?”

“I hope not,” he laughed. “I’ve never told Izzy I want to throw her down on the couch because of her eyebrows!”

“I barely made it through the make-up stage with Eva.”

“Oh, Emersyn used to wear so much, she could scare a drag queen back into suits. Her mother would have to send her back to her room to re-do it before we’d let her leave for school.”

“I mean, I get wanting two and not one but Jesus! What is so amazing about getting hot wax put on their face and having it, ripping off the hair and possibly skin?”

“I don’t ask those kinds of questions, Nick. My wife gets hair waxed off from a very sensitive area,” Rafael said with a pained look on his face. 

“Sylvie does the same thing.”

“So does Amanda. How can they stand it?”

“And somehow, I’ve been roped into taking Izzy to her appointment Saturday.”

“How did that happen?”

“No idea, Dawson. Hudson is staying with weekend with Jayden at Fin and Melinda’s. Rhian is staying with Ariana, and Jackson will be in and out…Dr. Lindstrom says we should spend time with the other one, even if that includes doing things the other doesn’t really want to do.”

“What is something you do that Izzy doesn’t like to do?”

“For someone that likes to shop, she hates going suit shopping with me.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“That’s because it’s not fun for her, Amaro. I have to have measurements done and what not. I can’t just go in and pick something out like she can. She gets bored fast.”

“All these years I thought she was the one that picked out your ridiculous ties, not to mention socks.”

“There is nothing with my ties or my socks for that matter, dick.”

 

“So, do I just sit out in the waiting room or…”

“You can go back with me if you want.”

“I think I’ll stay here and play on my phone.”

“Come on. You won’t see anything. You’ve seen two babies come out of me.”

“And one directly out of your stomach. So?”

“Fine.”

“Izzy how are you?”

“Fine, Rachel. Are you ready for me?”

“Everything’s set up.”

“Okay, I’ll be back, Raf.”

“You don’t want to go, Mr. Barba?” The aesthetician joked.

“No thank you. I’ll be just fine right here.”

 

“You okay?”

“I’m just wonderful. I had hot wax ripped off of my ‘fun place’ so I’m perfect.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“No?”

“Come on. You’ve been shot, given birth without drugs.”

“Care to put your money where your mouth is?”

“What are you suggesting?”

“Rachel when is your next appointment?”

“Something tells me it’s right now,” she laughed.

“No, no. I’m not waxed anywhere near…you know.”

“I can do your chest, back, under your arms.”

“Okay, for one, my back’s not hairy, and there’s no way I’m doing my underarms. I do work out and shower afterwards. I don’t need to be given any shit.”

“Chest it is,” Izzy smiled.

“Fine,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

“Perfect. Just let me get the room ready and you can come on back.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I keep my chest hair trimmed so I don’t see it being that rough.”

“Okay. If you say so.”

 

“Okay, I think that’s enough,” he groaned.

“Uh, if you think you’re touching me looking like the 40-year-old virgin, you’ve got another thing coming,” Izzy laughed.

“Come on, you can’t be serious with this.”

“You have told me for years that you’ve thought I make too big of a deal when I get this done.”

“I’ve changed my mind.”

“Rachel how many more strips do you think it will take?”

“I can finish him in 3.”

“See? Not much longer. Let her get finished then I’ll take you out for a drink.”

 

“Will you stop being such a baby?”

“It still stings,” Rafael whined as he placed a frozen bag of peas on different places on his chest.

“I get a much more sensitive place waxed for you.”

“I’ve never asked you to do that. You started doing that in college.”

“And I don’t remember you ever complaining.”

“I’m just glad I didn’t go for the bottom. There was no hot wax going anywhere near Junior. Seriously, if this is what you deal with, I have no problem with you not doing it.”

“Well, would you rather me have that done or wading through a damn jungle when you’re going down on me?”

“It does make it easier,” he agreed. “I guess it helps that I at least keep mine trimmed so you’re not dealing with the same thing.”

“Yes, I prefer mint floss.”

He chocked on his scotch when his wife said that.

“This isn’t going to grow back thicker is it?”

“You know that’s an old wives tale.”

“How long before this grows back?”

“It just depends,” she shrugged. “I usually have to go back about every 6 weeks.”

“Oh, I’m not going back. I can assure you."

"Pussy," she laughed.


	188. Chapter 188

“Mom did you raid the clothes I left in my closet?” Emersyn asked as she walked into the kitchen.

“Excuse me?”

“Aren’t you, I don’t know, 47?”

“And I’m supposed to what, start wearing Mumu’s and house slippers all over the house?”

“I’m just saying. I mean the sweater, the ripped jeans…”

“Wow. I didn’t realize I was that old.”

“Who said you were old, mi amor?”

“Your daughter. Apparently my clothes are too young for someone my age.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the way your mother dresses,” Rafael said turning to his daughter.

“Whatever,” Emersyn said as she went to her room.

“I guess I’ll just start dressing like Madea.”

“Well, you do carry a piece,” her husband laughed. “Ignore her, cariño. You are still as sexy as you were 28 years ago.”

“You have to say that because I burned our marriage license so you didn’t have a receipt to return me,” she joked. “Okay. No feeling me up in the kitchen. No telling who might walk in.”

“Ugh, you’re right,” he mumbled as he took his lips away from her neck. “I gotta meet the guys at the gym anyway.”

“You know, I might’ve never said it but I am proud of the way you’ve taken better care of yourself since your heart attack 7 years ago.”

“Well, I can’t leave you alone, mi amor.”

“You really think I’d stay alone for too long?”

“Babe!”

“I’m kidding. How long do you think you’ll be?”

“About an hour or so. Mike and I will hit the weights, while Nick and Dawson hit the bas as per usual.”

“Okay, well you guys have fun.”

“Fun. Right. I’ll be back. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

 

“Uh, Barba?”

“What, Nick?”

“I may be mistaken, but I could’ve sworn you had hair on your chest the last time we were here a few days ago.”

“Are you seriously checking him out?”

“No, Dawson! It’s just something that’s not hard to notice. I mean there’s more hair on his face than his chest. Tell me it’s not noticeable.”

“Okay, I made the mistake of telling my wife the waxing she goes through can’t be that bad. Especially since she’s been getting it done for almost 30 years. You know where that conversation ended up going.”

“You waxed your whole chest?”

“I had no choice, Mike. My wife wouldn’t have touched me if I was all patchy and shit. Plus, it was either that or south of the border and fuck that!”

“How bad was it?” Antonio asked.

“I understand the pain my wife goes through just to make oral sex easier for me. We should all be appreciative of what our wives go through for us.”

“What are you guys talking about,” Fin asked as he and Cassidy came in the sauna after playing racquetball.

“Women and waxing.”

“Nough said on that,” Fin laughed.

“So, Barba, you and Liv ever gonna be okay?”

“Maybe one day, Nick,” he shrugged.

“I told her the other night I know exactly where you’re coming from,” Cassidy added.

“How so?”

“Come on, guys. That fucking rape case I had against me? I always felt that she didn’t believe me. It was like I could see it in her eyes.”

“But just like Barba, it was proven that you were set up.”

“Sometimes, after 24 years in SVU, Liv still has a hard time not being a cop all the time.”

 

“Hey, Izz, you got a minute?” Nick asked as he popped his head into her office.

“Uh, sure, Nick. Come on in. You okay?”

“Did Amanda tell you Kim was in town?”

“Uh, no. When did this take place?”

“She popped up about a week or two ago, at least that’s when she told me. I honestly don’t know how long she’s been here or how many times Amanda’s seen or had any contact with her. She said she didn’t tell me cause she knew how I’d react.”

“Well, who could blame you, Nick? We all know the shit has put her through over the years.”

“Things have been kind of, off with Amanda the last few weeks.”

“And you’re wanting me to find out what’s going on?”

“She says she’s been working overtime and just banking the hours.”

“Somebody tell you different?”

“Fin did. I mean it wasn’t like he was snitching on her. I asked why they were pulling so many hours.”

“But you haven’t said anything to her?”

“I don’t want to fight about it. Part of me doesn’t want to know. I heard that Nate dick has been back around the GA meeting Amanda goes to.”

“You don’t think…”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to think, Izz, honestly. Like I said, I don’t want to fight…”

“Nick sometimes that’s what you need to do.”

“Will you just talk to her? See if she tells you anything?”

“You really think I’m going to get anything out of her? Let me know the next time she says she’s working overtime. I can go off the books if I need to.”

“Thanks.”

 

“You’re kidding me. Gambling, again?”

“Dawson and I tailed her and Dawson went into the club and took the pictures himself.”

“Goddammit.”

“Look, maybe our best bet is to first find out what caused her to spiral.”

“Obviously it was her sister, Izzy.”

“I know that, Amaro but what has Kim done to rock the boat like this.”

“Whatever it is, Amanda better get her shit straight or I will take the kids and leave.”

“Amaro…”

“I’ve already talked to your husband and I have lawyered lined up if I need one.”

“Nick come on.”

“Well, I don’t know what else to do.”

“You help your wife over come this, again. I’ll handle Kim.”

“Yeah but she’s not going to tell me…”

“Well, that might be something we all have to do together.”

“That means putting Liv and Barba in the same room.”

“We might have an easier time just getting the truth out of Amanda.”

 

“Okay, so I did a little digging,” Dawson said as he walked into Izzy’s office and shut the door.

“What did you find?”

“Amanda’s credit is in the toilet due to credit card debt.”

“Credit card debt?”

“To the tune of $47,321.64.”

“There’s no way…”

“But look at where the cards were mailed to and where they were used the most.”

“Son of a bitch. That’s why she’s gambling again. She doesn’t want to file charges against her sister so she’s trying to get the money to pay it off herself. Fuck. Nick is really going to be pissed when he finds this out. Okay, I’m gonna have to turn this over to Special Frauds to get them to look into this. Meanwhile, I’ve got to call Amaro and fill him in.”

“He’s serious about this intervention thing?”

“As far as I know. He may not be once he finds out the reason Amanda fell back down the rabbit hole but still, something has to be done.”

“Who do you want me to take this stuff to?”

“Go to 1PP, ask for Ashok Ramsey. He’s good with this kind of stuff.”

“Got it, boss.”


	189. Chapter 189

“Izzy thanks for doing this.”

“No problem, Nick. Amanda’s my friend, too.”

“Have you heard anything about Kim?”

“Not yet. Since most of the cards are maxed out, with the exception of one, hopefully it won’t take long before she’s found. Amanda will be off the hook for the debt, her credit will recover, and Kim will be where she needs to be.”

“In prison,” they both said.

“This is a really good thing you’re doing for Amanda,” Liv told her as she and Brian showed up.

“I just don’t want her in the same position she was in before.”

“Hey, can I talk to you…privately?”

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go in the kitchen,” Izzy answered. “So, what’s up?”

“Ever since the whole…investigation, Barba is still upset with me…”

“Let me stop you there. You’re gonna have to talk to him.”

“I’ve tried, believe me.”

“Well, today is about Amanda so if you two are going to argue, let’s wait until afterwards.”

 

“You guys followed me?”

“Amanda we found out that your sister took out credit cards in your name.”

“Why didn’t you tell me,” Nick asked.

“I…I just…she’s my sister, guys.”

“Yeah but Rollins, think of everything she has put you through over the years,” Carisi reasoned. 

“You think for one second I wouldn’t roll on Tony if he committed credit card fraud in my name?”

“Oh, she definitely would,” Barba remarked.

“You know, we love our brothers and sisters but I don’t think any of us would be okay with something like this.”

“Where I was raised, family is all you got.”

“And you’ve had this family in New York for how long?” Fin replied.

“Fin’s right, Rollins. My wife’s been more of a sister to you than Kim has for how long? Come on. Yeah, I get that all you have blood wise is Kim and your mom but blood isn’t the only thing that makes a family.”

“Rafael’s right,” Izzy smiled as she took Amanda’s hand, which made her smile, too. “We fight, we get caught in the middle of each other’s shit all the time, whether we’re asked to or not. Might be considered unhealthy really but we’re always there for each other. Even Carisi.”

“Thanks, Lieu.”

“Eh, you know I couldn’t help myself. You’ve got what you need right here, Amanda.”

“You’re right, Izz.”

“I want you back in your program. I don’t care if it’s every day,” Nick told her. “You’ve come too far in this to ruin it now.”

“Okay,” she nodded as she wiped her tears. “I promise.”

“Amanda I know you don’t want to hear this but maybe some one-on-one with a therapist that specializes in gambling addiction could help. I’m sure I can get Dr. Lindstrom to recommend someone,” Liv offered.

“Maybe you’re right.”

“See, the way this family works, it’s like Barba and Izzy are the Mom and Dad just trying to keep the rest of us in line,” Fin laughed.

“We can’t even keep our own kids in line, so don’t go there,” Rafael scoffed.

“Yeah, besides if anyone is Mom and Dad, it’s you and Liv, Fin,” Cassidy replied. “You guys are the voices of reason.”

“When did that happen?”

“Sooner or later, you play all the parts, Fin,” Nick told him.

Izzy had taken a phone call from Dawson while everyone continued to talk.

“Hey guys?”

“Yeah?”

“That was Antonio. They got Kim in Buffalo. Him and Erin are going to pick her up now.”

It was like Amanda actually breathed a sigh of relief at the news.

 

“Hey.”

“Hey, Benson,” Barba said turning to see Liv standing in his home office after everyone had left.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are, Liv.”

“I don’t mean that in the I’m sorry I had to do my job thing. I mean I truly am sorry for what I did.”

“It’s done, it’s over, my innocence was proven so it’s just time to move on.”

“The thing is, I did the same thing to Cassidy all those years ago and even though I wasn’t the one that arrested him, I vowed I would never doubt someone close to me like that again. Then I did it and I lost my best friend in the process.”

He hung his head before letting out a sigh, “No, you didn’t. I’m still here but you really hurt me, Liv.”

“That was never my intention. It was so hard for me to objective with that investigation because no matter what I was being told, I know that you would never hurt your wife or your kids by doing something like that. You live for them. You’d die for them. You’d never hurt any of them.”

“So, you do know me.”

“Sort of,” she laughed. “So, are we okay?”

“Yeah. We’re good. Honestly, that’s what I’ve been waiting for. Not the ‘sorry I was doing my job’ apology. I wanted and deserved a real one.”

“Yeah, you did.”

They could hear Brian and Izzy arguing and laughing from downstairs. “We might want to go check on those two.”

“If Fin and I are like the Mom and Dad of this group, those two are definitely the brother and sister that annoy the hell out of each other.”

“Come on, Liv.”

 

“Come on, Cassidy. You can’t be serious with this?!”

“Apple Pie? Come on, there’s no comparison!”

“No, there’s not because cake is always better! Pie can’t compete with cake!”

“Whatever you say, Izz.”

“Listen, Brian. You can put candles in a cake and voila! It’s a birthday cake! Put candles in a pie and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen!”

“Usually you and Liv!”

“And Amanda and Erin! Sylvie and Carmen on occasion.”

“Come on, Brian. We want to get home before Noah is asleep. I’m sure Lucy is ready to go home.”

“Okay. I don’t care what you say, Izzy. Pie is better.”

“Get that hate speech out of my house.” Liv and Brian said their good-byes and Izzy went to start dinner. “So, you guys okay?”

“Yeah. Like I told her, it’s done so it’s time to move on,” he smiled as he kissed her. 

 

“Why don’t we just order out tonight,” Rafael suggested as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind a few nights later.

“We could I suppose.”

“The kids are at Mami’s, Jackson is at Mike’s so they can go to the Ranger’s game tomorrow. We could make love…order out…take a hot bath…make love…take another bath…make love again…,” he said as he placed kisses on her neck, his dick growing harder with each kiss.

“Hmm…what did you have in mind for dinner?” She managed to say.

“I thought I’d start with dessert first. Something very sweet,” he whispered as his hand traveled down, undoing the button of her dress pants, and putting his hand into her panties. “Already so wet for me, are you?”

“Ye-yes,” she shuddered as his thumb brushed her clit. 

One of his long fingers slipped inside of her and then a second one. He turned her around, pulling her even closer to him so that he could plunge his fingers deeper inside of her as his thumb went into overdrive, causing her legs to shake. She tightly held onto him around his neck as he made her come, so hard in fact, he had to catch her from falling to the kitchen floor. “I got you, mi amor,” he whispered as her moans turned to just heavy breathing while she came down. “¿Quieres más, cariño?”

“Sí, Papi.”

“Sígueme, amor. Hay mucho más de donde vino eso (Follow me, love. There's plenty more where that came from),” he growled as he led her to their bedroom. 

He gently laid her on the bed as he took off his tie. She pushed his suspenders down and started unbuttoning his shirt. It wasn’t long and neither of them had anything between them. His tongue made contact with her clit, causing her back to arch, and him getting a face full of his wife. He draped his muscular arm over her stomach to keep her in place while the other one had not one, not two, but three fingers inside of his wife while his tongue drove her wild.

“God, Rafa, I’m almost there!”

His tongue flicked harder and faster making his wife practically scream his name as she grabbed him by his hair while she came again. He moved up to his wife, kissed her and let her taste herself on his mouth.

“Are you ready for me?”

“Always,” she whispered. He teased her opening with the head of his cock as pre-cum dripped from it. He finally stopped teasing and entered her. After all these years, it still felt as if he was splitting her open.

“Dammit, your so hot and…ugh…so tight,” he moaned as he thrusted in and out of her. Their hands grabbed each other’s faces and hair as they couldn’t keep their lips to themselves. The closer she got, she harder her nails dug into his back. He knew that was one of her biggest tells and started pounding her harder and faster, causing them both to come hard and loud.

They both laid in bed, drenched in sweat, as they caught their breaths. “How bad is my back?” He finally laughed. 

“Hmm, it’s been worse.”

“Like that time you actually made me bleed?”

“When was that?”

“Uh…right before I graduated law school, wasn’t it?”

“I think so,” she tried to remember. “I think it was like the first time in a month we had been on the same schedule for two or three days because of finals and we went kind of crazy one night.”

“I got in the shower afterwards and thought ‘oh my god! I’m gonna die’ as soon as the water hit my back. I got out and looked. I looked like I had went one round with Siegfried and Roy’s white tiger,” he chuckled. 

“I told you I was sorry.”

“And I told you it was worth it,” he said with a smile before he leaned over and kissed her. “Now about dinner?”


	190. Chapter 190

Izzy and Rhiannon had come in from a day of shopping in April 2024. They had been out most of the day actually. Rafael was not pleased when their doorman came up with his hands full of bags as well.

“Uh, Izz?”

“Huh?”

“What the hell is all this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you have three huge bags from Bath and Body Works for starters? The other bags, I understand but seriously? You have 30 bottles of stuff from there, the sprays, the lotions, and the body wash.”

“Well, you see they were having this huge sale, buy 3 get 3? So I bought 3 and got 3, bought 3 and got, bought…”

“3 and got 3, I got it so far.”

“Then for every $30 you spent, you got these free gift sets. They came with the big candles, more sprays, hand soap…”

“Okay and how many of those did you get?”

She just kind of looked around, not making eye-contact while Rafael tapped his foot as he waited for an answer.

“Elizabeth? How many?”

“7 I think.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I can give those to Amanda, Liv, Sylvie, and Erin.”

“But you won’t. You and I both know this. Oh my god, Rhiannon what is all over you?”

“On this arm is apple, and this one is coconut something, and strawberry…what was it Mami?”

“Sangria.”

“And then…”

“Okay. I’m starting her a bath because I’m getting a headache due to the mixture of all the scents. And whoa! When did we discuss getting her ears pierced?” He asked after noticing studs in his daughters ears.

“They’re not real diamonds…”

“Not the point. We make those decisions together. We made the decision when to get Emersyn’s done together.”

“Uh, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe you took Jackson to have his done without my input when he was 14.”

“We were out and he asked. I had mine done when I was 16. Not that big of a difference really.”

“You don’t like my earrings, Papi?”

“No, Princesa. That’s not what I’m saying. I think they’re very pretty on you.”

“I just wanted to be like Mami. I asked her and she said we could do it.”

“And it’s fine. I just wish Mami had talked to me about it first. That’s all. Go get ready to take a bath, mija.”

“Rafa come on.”

“We had Emersyn’s done when she was 6 months old. She didn’t feel it. We always said if we had another girl, we’d let them make the decision.”

“And she did.”

“You let an almost 6-year-old make that decision.”

“Oh, Rafael, let it go.”

“Fine. Back to those three blue and white bags…this is no longer a problem. It’s an obsession.”

“What about your ties?”

“I need those for work! Okay, you could have at least called or text me when she said wanted it done.”

“And you would’ve said what exactly?”

“Well…I…would’ve said fine.”

“Right.”

“It would’ve at least been a discussion.”

“Fine. Sorry. I could’ve called.”

“This spending has got to stop, though. Especially when it comes to things you don’t need. You already have 4 bottles of Blackberry whatever the hell it’s called that you haven’t used. And it’s not only that, either. You have the same boot in 4 different colors.”

“For different outfits.”

“Mi amor I want you and the kids to have nice things but come on. There’s a limit and you’re gonna have to have one. I mean honestly I blame myself. I’ve never been able to say no to you or the girls.”

“Where are you going?”

“To talk to someone that give me some insight.”

“Oh, go kiss my father’s ass like you always have,” she joked.

“Maybe I’m going to talk to Erin and your brother.”

“Yeah, okay.”

 

“Rafael? I had a feeling you’d show up,” Anthony laughed when his son in law walked into his house.

“Your daughter warned you?”

“She sent me a text telling me to expect you at any time. So, what has she done now?”

“Dad her spending habits have gotten out of control, since she got promoted to Lieutenant especially.”

“You’re gonna have to reel her in, son.”

“I have tried over the years but nothing works.”

“Then cut her off.”

“What do you mean?”

“Take away her credit cards and don’t let her bat those brown eyes at you. You two have been together almost 30 years. She knows exactly what to do to get her way when it comes to you. Always has. I can’t say anything because she had me wrapped around her finger. She was my only girl and I invested the money from my dad’s life insurance policy really well so my kids always got what they wanted. Especially my daughter. I’m sorry I passed her on to you like that,” Anthony laughed.

“I could put my foot down with her more,” Rafael sighed. “You think taking away the credit cards will work?”

“Do you not remember when Stella and I did that to her in college?”

“Um, no?”

“Her Sophomore year. I got a bill for $2700 for one month.”

“Well, she would pay for a drinks and food sometimes when we all went out.”

“It wasn’t just that kind of stuff. She was buying clothes for her and Erin. She never told you we cut her credit card off until she could handle one better?”

“Nope. We didn’t go out a lot but she said she just wanted to stay in. No wonder my bank account dwindled during those few months.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she stopped going shopping so I would buy her stuff. She never asked but I just would.”

“I’m telling you, take those credit cards away, leave her with the debit card only. She’ll change her habits.”

 

Rafael had a few drinks with his father in law and headed back home. Izzy was coming out of the kitchen when he walked in. “We need to talk.”

“Raf…”

“No. I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen. The way you spend money on whatever you want for you and the kids and even me…ugh, we wonder why they’re so spoiled. We’re teaching Rhiannon the wrong things when it comes to money especially.”

“Raf…”

“I know your Dad was able to give you everything you wanted. I wasn’t raised like that. Yeah, my mom and grandparents made sure I had decent clothes but I wasn’t bought a car, new or used, when I went to Harvard. You know how my life was growing up. Like I said, I want us to have nice things.”

“And it’s not like we can’t. I mean with my salary and yours, we make almost ½ million a year.”

“And we still have three kids to put through college, two daughters that will end up getting married one day and who’s going to have to pay for it?”

“Yeah, I know but…”

“Yes, I know how much money we make. We’re in a completely different tax bracket than we were when we got married, I get it. If you don’t get your spending under control, we’ll end up living with one of our kids when we get old.”

“Okay. I’ll stop.”

“Not good enough,” he said, shaking his head.

“What do you mean?”

“Go to your wallet, give me the Amex, the Visa, the Discover, and the Mastercard.”

“Wha…Raf you can’t be serious.”

“Victoria’s Secret, Bloomingdale’s, Barney’s, Bergdorf’s, all of them but the debit card.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Live within your means! Duh!!”

“Did my judge of a husband really just ‘duh’ me?”

“Do I need to repeat myself?”

“No.”

“Good. Credit cards, now.”

 

“I cant believe you really cut my sister off, man.”

“What else was I gonna do, Tony? You should have seen the shit she came home with the other day.”

“I’m guessing you’re not getting any.”

“Not much,” Rafael said with a roll of his eyes. “Eh, I’m not too worried about it. She’ll get over it or she won’t. So, you text me in all capital letters and said you needed to talk me. I know it wasn’t about your sister. What’s going on?”

“Remember that girl I dated in like 2007?”

“Seriously?”

“She was like 21? A waitress at that burger place we used to go to.”

“Tony honestly once everything ended with you and Erin, I stopped keeping up.”

“Well, anyways. She came to my office a few weeks ago to tell me I have a 16-year-old son that I never knew about.”

“WHAT?!?”

“Shhh! I don’t want my sister to hear you.”

“Have you told Erin?”

“Not yet. I was waiting for the DNA to come back.”

“And?”

He handed Rafael the paper that stated Anthony Rossetti Jr was a 99.9% match to Matthew Anthony Rossetti.

“Oh, fuck. Man, you gotta tell Erin.”

“No shit because after all these years, all this time she could’ve gotten in touch with me but didn’t, she’s wanting 16 years of child support. I need your help, bro. Not as my brother in law or my best friend, I need you as a lawyer.”

“I’m not cheap when I work privately.”

“I figured.”

“It will cost you a very expensive bottle of scotch.”

“Lagavulin 37 year work?” Tony asked as he pulled the bottle out his equally expensive alligator briefcase.

“I would say it does. You know I can’t keep this from your sister.”

“You’ve got to. At least until I tell Erin.”

“You need to get it over with. The sooner the better.”


	191. Chapter 191

“Where is she?” Izzy asked the bartender at a dive in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn.

“Corner booth in the back, Lieutenant. Been here a while.”

“She got some tough news earlier. We all did. Thanks, Josh,” she said as she started for the booth to find her sister in law, barely able to hold her head up.

“What are you doing here?” Erin slurred.

“Your husband’s worried about you, so is your daughter, so am I.”

“Did you know about this, Izzy? Don’t lie to me please.”

“Honestly no I didn’t. I found out after you did. I had no idea my husband is representing my brother until then either.”

“What am I gonna do, Izz? I mean, I know we weren’t together…”

“You realize he didn’t know about this until about a month ago, right?”

“Why didn’t he tell me then?”

“I can’t answer that, Erin. I don’t know why.”

“How would you react if some girl came up, years later, and told you Rafael fathered a child that he had no idea about when he went through his man-whore phase?”

“I have no idea. I’m not going to lie and say that I haven’t worried about that over the years but thankfully, it hasn’t happened.”

“I couldn’t let Halstead fully in because of the fact I never got over your brother. He always told me he never got over me, either.”

“Why do you think he acted out the way he did? He never got close to anyone all those years. He slipped up, sure, but are you willing to throw everything away?”

“No. I just don’t know what to do. How can I be a step-mom to a kid we didn’t know about all these years?”

“You know who you should talk to?”

“Who?”

“Amanda and Nick. Nick didn’t know about Gil until he was almost 10.”

“What would Amanda have to offer to the conversation?” 

“She was there when Nick found out about Gil.”

“Just like you were. So?”

“Will you just talk to her? She can probably help you out better than I can.”

“You’re supposed to be my best friend.”

“And I am but I have no experience in this.”

“Yeah. Rafael had sense enough to wrap it before he tapped it back in the day. Well, except with you.”

“Come on. Let me take you home.”

“Ugh. Okay. I need to close out my tab.”

“I’ll get it,” Izzy said as she walked up to the bar. “How long has she been here?” She said looking at the tab Erin had ran up. “You so fucking better pay me back or my husband will kill me.”

 

Izzy was sitting in her office, going through some bullshit paperwork Mike had given her when she was surprised by her husband.

“Hola, mi amor.”

“Hey, baby. What brings you here?”

“I had to get out of the house,” he replied. He had taken a leave to represent Tony and was working out of his home office. Judge Donnelly had told him he was free to use his chambers but he felt better working this case from home.

“What’s in the box?”

“Well, I know I’ve been a little hard on you when it comes to your shopping habits…”

“It’s perfectly fine, Rafa,” she said with a smile.

“I know but I still want you to have nice things. Go on. Open it.”

She untied the ribbon around the perfectly wrapped box to find a box from Manolo Blahnik. It was the silver heels she had been eyeballing before he took away her credit cards. “Babe…”

“I thought you could wear those when we go to dinner Friday night,” he said with that smirk.

“Dinner?”

“Yeah. I thought we could use a night to ourselves.”

“Hard to say no to.”

“Hey, Izz. Hey, Barba.”

“What’s up, Dawson?”

“My DD-5s are finished,” he replied as he handed the file to Izzy.

“Thanks. You know when our kids plan on coming home after finals?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” he laughed. “You know they’re gonna end up married right?”

“Well, she could do worse. He could do better though,” Rafael joked. “He better get a high paying job.”

“I told him if she’s anything like her mother, he needs to pull in at least 6 figures.”

“And that will barely be enough.”

“Okay, enough, you two. Dawson don’t you have work to do?”

“I’m going. I’m going.”

“So, how much child support do you think Tony is going to have to pay?” Izzy asked her husband once Dawson walked out of her office.

“Well, with Langan being the judge and everything I’ve found on her, I don’t think she’ll get 16 years of child support.”

“Really?”

“Really. We go in front of him in three days.”

“That’s why you want to go out Friday.”

“I thought you lost your detective skills once you became the Lieutenant.”

“Very funny, Rafa.”

“How about I take my beautiful wife to lunch?”

“I hope you’re paying. I don’t have any credit cards.”

He started to say something but all he could do was laugh. She was right after all but he also wanted her spending curbed. “Come on, cariño.”

 

“Okay, so what I’m seeing here is that Mr. Rossetti had no such knowledge of the minor child?”

“That’s correct, Your Honor,” Rafael answered Trevor. “Mr. Rossetti has worked with the same firm and has had the same phone number since well before his liaison with Ms. Baker. There was no reason she couldn’t have told him about his son.”

“Your Honor, if I may,” Rita started, “Mr. Rossetti made it very clear when he unceremoniously broke-off the relationship with my client, they had nothing in common, and had no reason to be in contact with each other.”

“Having a child that she thought Mr. Rossetti fathered would be a very valid reason to be in contact,” Rafael countered. 

“Mr. Barba is right, Ms. Calhoun. There was nothing stopping her from contacting him before now.”

“As you can see, Your Honor, according to Ms. Baker’s financials, she worked, still does mind you, at a very powerful brokerage firm in Manhattan and could more than provide for her and her son. Mr. Rossetti is not denying paternity and is not willing to terminate any rights, that he practically just received. He feels that being asked for 16 years of back child support would be punitive at this point.”

“Your Honor…”

“Ms. Calhoun, please. I’ve read the files and I have to say that I agree with Mr. Barba. Your client had all the means to contact Mr. Rossetti in the past 16 years and to let him get to know his son. I will, however, rule that Mr. Rossetti pay child support until the minor child is 18. I also rule that the child be allowed to visit his father.”

“They have met…”

“That’s fine, Ms. Calhoun but I’m ordering weekend visitation for the next 6 months. We will revisit this at that point. We’re adjourned.”

Izzy and Erin both seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. 

“Thanks, Raf, man.”

“Hey, no problem, Tony.”

“So, what do you guys have planned for tonight?” Izzy asked after they exited the courtroom.

“I think we’re going to take…our son to meet his grandparents,” Erin told her, which made Tony smile.

“Well, you guys have fun.”

“Yeah. At least Pop got his lecture out already,” Tony replied as he rolled his eyes.

“Well, they make a condoms for a reason, big brother.”

“You really want to go there with me, little sister? You and your husband…”

“Okay! We don’t have to talk about us,” Rafael interrupted. “Good luck, guys.”

“What are you two up to tonight?”

“I am taking your sister and her new shoes to dinner and maybe a little dancing afterwards.”

“Is that what you’re calling it now? No more tickle fights?”

“I meant actual dancing, asshole.”


	192. Chapter 192

“Hey, Izz?”

“What’s up, Doom?”

“You got someone out here wanting to talk to you.”

Izzy looked out the window of her office. She couldn’t believe who was standing in their squad room, wanting to speak to her.

“Send her in,” she said with hesitation.

“Izzy I’m glad you could see me.”

“What do you want, Bunny?”

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of Erin…”

“After how long now?”

“Are you really gonna go Hank Voight on me?”

“Yeah, I am. You haven’t spoken to my best friend in how long?”

“She’s the one that left Chicago…”

“Yeah cause you murdered a man and Voight actually got rid of the evidence linking you to the crime. Didn’t know I knew that, did you? I know all about the blood splattered glasses, Bunny.”

“I’d like to meet my granddaughter.”

“Over my dead body will you ever meet my niece. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you strung out again?”

“I’ve been clean for 6 months…Lieutenant.”

“Well give yourself a gold star. 6 whole fucking months. Why did you come to my office, Bunny?”

“Apparently, I’m not allowed at SVU.”

“Well that should tell you something.”

“I’ve never even met my son-in-law.”

“And? You really I give a shit about what hasn’t happened for you? My brother and Erin have enough to deal with. You need to get your ass to JFK and get on the next flight to Satan’s asshole for all I care. You stay away from Erin.”

“You’ve always been so protective over her.”

“Someone had to be. You just tried to drag her down that rabbit hole with you again.”

“Yes, and the THE Elizabeth Barba came to save the day.”

“You’re damn right I did. I’m going to say this one time; get your ass out of my city.”

Bunny just stood in Izzy’s office, obviously trying to think of something to say. “Fine.”

“I mean it. One phone call, I’ll have Erin, my brother, my niece, and my nephew surrounded with security.” 

“Will you at least give her my number?”

“Didn’t you have Teddy do that? Yet, she’s never used it. That should speak volumes. Now get the fuck out of my office before I have you removed.”

Bunny didn’t say a word as she turned and walked out.

“Yo, what was that about?”

“What do you think, Dawson?”

“She’s wanting to talk to Erin.”

“Yep. That’s not going to happen as long as I have anything to say about it.”

“You’re a good friend. So, speaking of you being a good friend, I need to talk to you.”

“What’s up, Tonio?”

“Sylvie’s pregnant.”

“What? Were you guys trying?”

“Actually…yeah.”

“Oh my god! That’s wonderful. Don’t say anything but Carmen’s pregnant again.”

“No way.”

“Carisi told Rafa the other day. She’s about 7 weeks. Sylvie?”

“The same actually,” he laughed. “You realize our kids will have a kid with an aunt or uncle just a few years older than them?”

“Shut up!!!! Are you excited, though?”

“I really am, Izz. It’s been so long since I’ve had a baby around.”

“Well, I’m happy for you. Give me a hug,” Izzy told her best friend as she stood up from her desk. 

“You know I love you, right?”

“I love you, too, Dawson.”

“That means you are automatically this child’s godmother.”

“Nothing would make me happier.”

 

“Ugh…oh…fuck!!!” Rafael moaned as his wife rode him hard and fast. “God…damn. Fuck…I’m…I’m…gonna…” he didn’t even finish his sentence as he shot his load into his wife. They both came down from their orgasms, still panting and moaning. “You’re gonna be the death of me, mi vida.”

“Isn’t that the way you want to go?”

“Fuck yeah it is,” he smiled as she rolled off of him. “Te quiero, mi amor.”

“Hmm, te quiero, guapo,” Izzy smiled as she kissed her husband.

“¿Qué haría yo sin ti, amor (What would I do without you, love)?”

“¿Hambre (Starve)?”

“Es gracioso (funny), cariño.”

“Pero tú me amas (but you love me),” Izzy laughed.

“Mucho más de lo que jamás sabrás, mi corazón y mi alma (So much more than you will ever know, my heart and soul).”

“Siempre te querré (I will always love you), Rafael.”

“Y siempre te querré, Elizabeth (and I will always love you). Eres mi para siempre (you are my forever).”

“¿Qué hice para merecerte, Rafael Barba (What did I do to deserve you, Rafael Barba)?”

“Me hago la misma pregunta todos los días. No puedo creer que te enamoraste de mí como lo hiciste (I ask myself that same question every day. I can't believe you fell in love with me like you did).”

“No te cambiaría por Robert Downey Jr (I wouldn't trade you for Robert Downey Jr).”

“Tú dices eso, pero yo sé mejor (You say that but I know better).”

“Te equivocas. Eres mi hombre de hierro (You're wrong. You are my Iron Man).”

 

“Mi amor?”

“Yes, Rafa?”

“Hudson and Rhian are being awfully quiet.”

“Oh god, that’s never a good sign.”

They decided to go upstairs to look for their youngest kids. They weren’t in their rooms like they thought.

“Babe, they’re not in my office!!”

Izzy had found them, in her and Raf’s bedroom. 

“Uh, I found them!!!!” She called to her husband. There was Hudson, in his Dad’s black pinstripe suit, which was completely hanging off him. Rhiannon was in her mother’s favorite Prada dress, Manolo Mary Janes. Not only that, it was evident that Rhiannon had been in her mother’s make-up and Izzy could smell Rafael’s Terre d’Hermes cologne coming from her son, who was not just in his Dad’s suit but also wearing a pair of his Dad’s $1000 Ferragamo’s.

“Oh…my…god,” Rafael said as he walked in to find his kids. He immediately went to the bathroom to find not just his wife’s hair products knocked down but his as well. He came back out to find his wife “inspecting” their children. Her dress had nail polish and make up all over it. There was no way it could be saved. Rafael couldn’t help but take a picture and send it to everyone.

“Are you going to help me?”

“No, I just thought I’d stand here and look pretty as per usual.”

“Rafa!”

“Guys what were you thinking?”

“We just wanted to look like you and Mami,” Hudson answered without fear, hesitation, or anything. “It was Rhiannon’s idea.”

“Tattletale,” Rhian whispered.

“Rhiannon Luciana! Why…why…why would you get into Mami’s make-up and stuff?!”

“Calm down, mi amor,” Rafael told his wife. “Rhian? Why did you two do this?”

“We were bored, Papi. I didn’t mean to make you and Mami mad.”

“We’re not mad, mija. Well, we’re not happy but you two can’t be getting into our clothes, Mami’s make-up, anything like that. ¿Entiendes? “

“Sí, Papi,” Rhian answered.

“Okay, now both of you get ready for a bath.”

“Okay,” they said as they got out of their parents clothes.

“My dress…”

“Izz.”

“I bought this in 2009 so don’t say it can be replaced.”

“Take it to Miss Kim. I bet she can get the nail polish out of it.”

“At least she didn’t ruin my shoes. These are priceless. They’re like an Urban Legend.”

“Yeah, I spent three bookstore/library paychecks on them,” Rafael laughed. “We’ve got to start keeping a closer eye on those two. Jack and Emmie weren’t that bad.”

“What is it with them?” Izzy managed a laugh.

“I have no idea, babe. If it makes you feel any better, Hudson ruined my ‘lucky’ tie.”

“Not the rainbow checkered one.”

“The very one,” he responded as he held it up to show her the white “checks” had been filled in with silver nail polish. “And you really don’t want to see our bathroom.”

“I can only imagine.”

“No…you really can’t,” Rafael replied with a small laugh.


	193. Chapter 193

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *DISCLAIMER*  
> In order to show the level of a suspects racism, I did use some racial slurs; words and phrases that I DO NOT think are okay. However, I only did it for content related purposes and that is all!!!

“Okay, so Izzy will testify first, followed by Rollins, then we’ll start with the actual witnesses,” Stone said during a conference with SVU & HCU for a case they had worked together. A member of the Aryan Nation, Robert Miller, had been singling out Jewish women and raping them while also beating them to near death. Two of the victims had actually died from their injuries. He was unrepentant, unremorseful, and worst of all, unwilling to take a plea. “Carisi will handle the prosecution but I will be sitting 2nd chair since we all worked on this together. Izz you ready?”

“I’m ready, Stone.”

“I want to go over your testimony, along with Dawson’s one last time, though. We have got to put this guy away and send a message to his Aryan brothers that this is 2024 and this will not be tolerated in New York City.”

“Will there be extra security at the courthouse?” Erin asked.

“Uh, I believe so. I’ve talked to both Chief Harris and Dodds. We all know members of AN will be there. We’ve got a Cuban judge, Italian prosecutor, Italian detective, Dominican detective, not to mention the Jewish members of the survivors’ families. We just can’t be too careful.”

Izzy followed Stone and Carisi to her husbands usual courtroom so they could go over everything she was told by one of the witnesses, the dying declaration of another, and everything they found pointing to the man being the perpetrator of these heinous crimes.

 

“How’d it go today?” Rafael asked when she finally got home.

“I’m just ready to get this started. The sooner we get this done, the sooner that asshole can be put away.”

“I still can’t believe, with all of the evidence against him, he still won’t take a plea.”

“From what Stone said, Braun actually thinks he can win this.”

“You know how he is, mi amor.”

“Still. We have DNA, outcry, dying declarations, the ID…”

“Okay, calm down,” he said as he put his arms around his wife. “He’s just cocky.”

“Which one?”

“Braun and Miller, really. You’re right, though, there’s plenty of evidence that it shouldn’t take a New York City jury long to convict him.”

“So, something smells good,” she said with a smile as she rested onto this chest.

“I thought a nice pork roast sounded good tonight.”

“Well, thank you for cooking dinner.”

“Of course, cariño,” he replied as he placed a kiss on her forehead. “I know this has been rough on you.”

“I would believe this if this was 10-15 years ago but now, seriously? President Booker is going to win his 2nd term and everyone knows it, even if it’s still months away. This is New York City for Christ’s sake. This has always been a melting pot. I just…”

“Hey, hey, shh. Try not to let it get to you so hard. I know me saying that isn’t going to help…”

“No, it kind of does, Rafa. You’ve always been able to calm me down, even with something as simple as that.”

“I do my best.”

 

It was Day 4 of the trial. Izzy had testified as well as Rollins, two of the victims, Dawson, Liv, Erin, and Doom. Izzy would watch her husband from the gallery as he listened to the testimonies and watched the jury. He always tried to get a read on the jury after the defense would question someone. He could usually tell which way they were leaning after a day or two.

“So, Mr. Miller, you testified that your night with Ms. Kaplan was consensual and she liked it rough?” Carisi asked as he started his cross-examination.

“Yeah, that’s right,” the man said with a smirk.

“And the other 3?”

“I’ve already said I don’t know how my DNA ended up on them.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve been involved in protests so maybe they touched me or something.”

“Then how would that explain your semen being in their vaginas?”

“Objection!”

“Overruled. Witness will answer.”

He just sat as Carisi, Rafael, Braun, the jury, and the gallery waited for an answer.

“Well?” Carisi asked with a hint of snark that being friends with Barba all those years had rubbed off on him.

“I’ve been set up.”

“Is that right?”

“Come on. I have a boat-rower for a judge, a wop prosecutor, the nigger that testified, that plantain detective, and that dog wop skank Lieutenant. I’m being railroaded and you know it,” he told Carisi. Fin, Dawson, and Izzy all looked like they were ready to beat the hell out of this asshole.

Barba banged his gavel. “That’s enough, Mr. Miller. There will be none of that in my courtroom.”

“What are you going to do about it, you salt-water nigger?”

“That’s it!!! Court officers remove this man, immediately!!!”

Two of the officers went to take him off the stand but not without a struggle. He managed to grab one of the officers gun and started firing. Liv and Izzy took cover as they shot back, as well as Doom, Erin, Dawson, and Fin. Once the Robert Miller was down and the courtroom was cleared, all of the detectives looked around. 

“Carisi!!!” Fin yelled as he found him on the ground, covered in blood. “We need a bus!!”

Izzy looked at the bench but didn’t see her husband so she ran up only to find him on the ground. She immediately unzipped his robe, taking her jacket to slow the bleeding from his shoulder. “Make it two!!!” She screamed tears streamed down her cheeks. “Stay with me, Raf,” she whispered. “Just stay with me.” He was coughing, his eyes kept rolling back into his head.

 

“How is he?” Liv asked as she and the rest of both the squads rushed to her in the trauma unit at Mercy.

“He’s in surgery. He couldn’t stay awake in the ambulance,” Izzy cried as Liv hugged her.

“Shh. He’ll be fine.”

McCoy walked in, along with Liz Donnelly, Rafael’s boss. “Lieutenant?”

“Judge Donnelly.”

“How is he?”

“I don’t know yet. They come out every once in a while to say they’re still trying to get the bullet fragments out of his shoulder.”

“Our Rafael is a fighter,” McCoy reassured her. “So is Carisi,” he said as he turned to Carmen. Sonny was in just as bad shape as Rafael, if not worse. They all actually had no idea.

Mike, Alice, Nick, Amanda, Erin, Tony, Stone, Sarah, Stella, Anthony, Lucia, Bill, Liv, Brian, Dawson, Sylvie, Fin, and Melinda sat in the waiting room, almost as impatient as Izzy and Carmen wanting news. Eddie even showed up, as well as Carmen’s brother and parents, Carisi’s parents and sisters as well.

“Izzy?” She heard a familiar voice that she hadn’t heard in years. 

“Bobby?” She asked as she looked up to see her 6’4 former partner from Major Case standing in front of her. All she could do was hug the man that was a foot taller than her.

“How is he?”

“I don’t know,” she cried.

“Okay, shh. Good thoughts remember?”

She just nodded as Robert took a seat next to Fin.

“Mrs. Carisi?” One of the surgeons came out and asked. Carmen slowly walked up with her brother and parents and Carisi’s family. “He’s going to be fine. He was very lucky but we were able to get all of the bullet fragments removed from around his knee and he’s going to be as good as new.”

“Thank you so much,” Carmen said as her tears of sadness turned into tears of joy. “Izzy…”

“Go. He needs you,” she told Carmen.

“He’s going to be okay. I know he will,” Carmen told her bosses’ wife as she hugged her. 

“Lieutenant Barba?”

She started shaking when she looked at Dr. Rosenthal’s face. Antonio took it upon himself to walk to the surgeon with Izzy. “We’ve got all the bullet fragments out but it’s still touch and go at this time.”

“What?” She asked.

“The further we got in there, we found that the bullet hit the brachial artery in his shoulder. We’ve done everything we can at this point. He lost several pints of blood. He’s not able to breathe on his own right now…”

She didn’t hear anything else the doctor told her as Dawson grabbed her before she hit the floor. “Antonio, I can’t live without him,” she sobbed into her best friend’s shoulder.

“You won’t have to. You heard him. He can come out of this. He’s strong as hell. He had to be to be with you all these years,” he joked.

Izzy managed a small laugh before looking at everyone else. There wasn’t a dry eye in those chairs. Not Mike, not Liv, not Fin, none of them could hold back their tears at hearing the news that Rafael might not make it. The surgeon led her to Rafael’s room.

 

“No! It’s not fair, Erin!!”

“Tony please calm down.”

“How can I? He’s more than my brother in law, he’s my best friend! If my sister loses him, so do I! I’m sorry if that sounds selfish but…”

“No, it doesn’t, baby. I know. You heard what the doctor told Izzy…”

“I know but it’s 50/50. My nieces and nephews don’t deserve this. Neither does my sister.”

 

“Liv?”

“Yeah, Bri?”

“You okay?”

“You really want to ask me that question now? That’s my best friend…”

“Shhh. I know, baby. I know,” Brian said as he took Liv in his arms.

“None of us can lose him. Not Izzy, not the kids, not Lucia, not Mike, not me, not Noah…”

“Okay, honey. I know,” he replied as he just ran his hand up and down her back while she cried. 

 

“Antonio?”

“Yeah, Sylvie?”

“It’s taken you a long time to come get coffee.”

“Sorry,” he said before wiped his eyes and turned to his wife.

“Antonio…”

“She’s my best friend, Syl.”

“I know that.”

“What if…what if…no! No! He’s gonna be okay. He has to be. He’s got to walk his daughter down the aisle to my son. This isn’t happening.”

 

“Nick?”

“What?” He sniffled as he grabbed his coke out of machine when his wife called his name.

“Hey. It’s okay not to be macho all the time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you’re worried. We all are.”

“This can’t be it, Amanda. It just can’t be.”

“And I’m sure it won’t be,” she said as she hugged him.

 

“Mike, stop!” Alice screamed as she found him throwing things in their bedroom.

“Stop what, Alice?! Huh?! Stop being frustrated that the only brother I’ve actually ever had is laying in a hospital, a machine breathing for him!”

“You’re gonna wake Hudson and Rhian.”

“I’m not…I’m not trying to,” he said as he lowered his cracking voice. “I can’t lose the only brother I’ve really ever known. Matt and I don’t speak. Rafael is all I’ve had for the last how many years?”

“I know, Mikey.”

“I just want this day to start over. I need…I need a DeLorean so I can start this day over…”

“Mike…”

 

“Izz?”

“Yeah, Dawson?”

“Any changes?” He asked as he sat a Caramel Macchiato in front of her. She had been sitting by her husband for 24 hours at this point.

“No. Nothing. If he doesn’t come out of this within a few days, I have to make a decision whether to keep him like this or let him go,” she replied as she sniffled.

“Wow, Izz. I just…I don’t…”

“It’s fine, Tonio.”

“No, it isn’t,” he said with tears in his eyes. “You don’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve this.”

“Mrs. Barba?”

“Yes?”

“It’s time for us to reposition your husband,” the CNA told her.

“Of course. Come on, Dawson.”

 

“Kid?”

“Yeah, Pop?”

“It’s been 36 hours. Don’t you think you should go home? Maybe take a shower, get a nap?”

“I’m fine,” Izzy told her father.

“No, you’re not. Look just go home, take a shower, take a nap. Dawson has Emersyn, Nick has Jack…”

“I know where my kids are, Dad,” she snapped.

“Will you go? For me?”

She knew her dad wasn’t going to stop. “Ugh, fine!”

“I’m just looking out for you.”

“I know,” she responded with a small smile. “Just keep holding his hand. It seems to keep his heart rate down.”

“I will, baby. Now go.”

Anthony waited until his only daughter exited the room. “Rafael? It’s me. Anthony. Look, son. I know you’re fighting hard right now. All I’m asking is that you don’t give up,” he spoke as his voice started to crack. “Fight for your kids. Fight for my daughter. Fight for Lucia. They love you. If nothing else, fight for me. I know you can do it. You always fought for those that didn’t have a voice. Now it’s you that doesn’t have voice and you need to fight for you, son.”

Anthony hadn’t cried that hard since 9/11. He just couldn’t stop himself. Rafael had been his son all those years and the thought of losing him was just like the thought of Izzy or Tony dying before their parents. He went into detail about all the things Rafael should fight for as held his son in law’s hand. All of a sudden, Anthony felt a tight grip on his hand.


	194. Chapter 194

“Rafael?”

He tried so hard to open his green eyes as he heard his father in law’s voice. He wanted to speak but then realized he couldn’t.

“No, son. You can’t pull that out!” Anthony told him as he tried to pull his breathing tube out. Rafael still kept fighting, even with Anthony holding his arms. “Rafael. Stop,” Anthony said calmly. Rafael finally just nodded. “Welcome back, son. You scared the hell out of us,” he laughed.

The doctors and nurses came in to remove Rafael’s ventilator while Anthony stepped out to call Izzy. She was half asleep when she answered. “Hello?”

“He’s back, Dolcezza (Sweetest girl).”

“What?” She answered as she sat upright on the couch.

“He’s awake. They’re taking the ventilator off now.”

“I’ll be there in a few!” Izzy said as she started to get dressed hurriedly. 

 

“Hey!” Izzy announced as she walked into Rafael’s room. He was still so pale but he managed a smile just for her. Anthony was helping get sips of water so he could talk. 

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Anthony said as he got up to walk out.

Neither Rafael or Izzy could speak. Her eyes filled with tears as did his. “You made it,” she finally spoke.

“I did, mi amor,” he replied hoarsely.

“I…I…I should’ve protected you…”

“How could you have,” he asked after he cleared his throat.

“I don’t know. I just could’ve…” Izzy couldn’t stop her tears. They weren’t in a fight at the time but still, she couldn’t stand her husband being so helpless. She knew he hated it as well.

“Kiss me, cariño,” he whispered as he put his good arm around her.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

The harder he kissed her, the more his heart monitor sped up.

“Mr. Barba? Oh, I’m sorry,” a nurse smiled as she came in and then quickly exited the room. She knew why his heart monitor sped up the way it did.

“I love you, too, mi amor,” she answered as she ran her hand over his face.

“Your dad was here with me…”

“I’m sorry. He made me…”

“No, mi alma. It was fine. Maybe that’s what I needed. I needed someone besides you or Mami to tell me to fight.”

“God, I am so happy you’re awake.”

“So am I cariño. We still have so many years ahead of us.”

“Now we have matching scars,” Izzy managed with a small laugh.

“That’s better than matching tattoos in my book,” Rafael replied as he leaned up to kiss his wife again.

 

“Rhian you have to go to school. You only have two weeks left.”

“No. I can’t leave you, Papi.”

“I’ll be fine, princesa.”

“Not without me.”

“Rhiannon we have to go,” her mother told her.

“Nooooo!!! I can’t leave my Daddy!!!!!” She screamed as Izzy took her to the elevator. She screamed and cried the whole way to school. “I hate you, Mami!!”

“Excuse me?!”

“I just want to stay with Papi to make sure he’s okay and you won’t let me!!!”

“Knock it off right now, Rhiannon Luciana.”

“No! I want my Papi!”

“Papi will be home when you get there.”

“I want Papi NOW!!!”

“WELL TOO BAD!!!” Izzy couldn’t believe she had yelled at her daughter like that. They both had tears in their eyes. “Listen, Rhian. Papi needs to rest right now. He will be at home when you get out of school.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, baby girl.”

Rhiannon wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck. “I love you, Mami.”

“I love you too, Rhian.”

“Take care of Papi for me.”

“Of course, I will,” Izzy said with a smile.

 

Izzy came back in to hear Rafael on the phone. “I’m so sorry. No. Yeah. We’ve dealt with this before so I’m here if you need me. Yeah, you too, man.”

“Hey.”

“Hey, cariño.”

“Who were you talking to?”

“Carisi.”

“What’s going on?”

“Carmen lost the baby.”


	195. Chapter 195

It had been two weeks since the shooting in the courtroom that left Carisi shot in the leg, Rafael fighting for his life, and the awful racist that was on trial dead thanks to a quick shot by Dawson. It had been a week since Rafael had been home and since Carisi and Carmen lost what would’ve been their 3rd child. Rhiannon still threw the biggest fits when it came to leaving for school. She couldn’t stand the thought of leaving her dad. She was scared that something would happen to him again. On days he felt up to it, he’d walk her to school himself just to keep her calm.

“Carisi and Carmen coming over for dinner tonight,” Rafael told his wife, as if she didn’t have enough to do but she knew they were hurting and needed help from their friends that had been through this same thing 18 years earlier.

“Okay, I’ll…uh…there should be enough food.”

“Are you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah. I’m fine,” she told her husband.

“Okay. I just know everything’s been about me for the last week.”

“You could’ve died, Rafa.”

“I know. I was lucky. Oh, Emersyn called and she’ll be home Saturday.”

“Dammit, I forgot. I’ll call Tony…”

“I already talked to Dawson. He has no problem getting her things.”

“Okay.”

 

“So, when did the doctor say you guys could start trying again?” 

“Raf…”

“It’s fine, Izz,” Carisi said with a small laugh. “In about two months or so. About the time I should be released to resume normal duties.”

“The doctor said the shooting just put too much stress on Carmen. How could it not?”

Izzy kept zoning in and out during dinner. Her mind had been all over the place for the past two weeks. She had been trying to take care of the kids, take care of Rafael, still be there for her friends. All she really wanted was one hour of peace. That was it and then she could resume her duties.

“Izz? Elizabeth?”

“Huh?”

“I start PT next week, right?” Rafael asked with a hint of frustration.

“Monday morning as long as your stitches are ready to be removed,” she replied.

“How long will you have to have it?”

“No idea, Carisi. I have to get the range of motion back in my arm since I have to keep it still all this time.”

“I hate these crutches but I don’t have to keep my leg still.”

“Worst thing about this is that it’s my right arm. Rhiannon gets upset because I can’t carry her to bed like normal. We try to explain but you can’t reason will a 6 year old.”

Carmen helped Izzy clean up the kitchen after dinner. “So, Carmen, how are you doing?”

“I’m making it. I mean…I don’t know. I’ve been busy with Mason, Sophie, and Sonny. I haven’t had time to really…uh…”

“Grieve?”

“Yeah,” she replied quietly before tears fell from her eyes. 

“Oh, hey. Come here,” Izzy said as she wrapped her arms around her.

“I’m sorry.”

“No. Let it out. You need to and if you need to do it in my kitchen then by all means.”

“Thank you,” Carmen said with a small smile as she took the Kleenex from Izzy. “It’s just hard. We heard the heartbeat and then two weeks later…”

“I know. That’s how it was for us, too.”

“I just couldn’t understand how this could happen after we’ve had two healthy children. One on Barba’s couch.”

“Oh, I remember,” Izzy laughed. “I bet the next time, everything will be fine.”

“I hope so.”

 

It had been a rough 4 weeks. Rafael was growing more impatient with PT.

“Just fuck it. I’m not going back.”

“Yes, you are,” Izzy argued.

“No, I’m not. It’s not doing me any good.”

“How do you know?”

“My hand is still going numb. I can’t move my arm to do the things I need to do! I can’t even…I can’t even help take care of my kids. Worst of all, you won’t even talk to me.”

“I talk to you every day.”

“Something has been weighing on you for weeks and I know what it is.”

“What is it?”

“It’s me. It’s the fact that you have to help me get dressed, you have to help me shower and shave.”

“You think any of that bothers me?”

“Then why have you been walking around like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders?”

“When Carmen and Carisi came to dinner a few weeks ago…everything she told me in the kitchen…it was just…I stood and relived one of the darkest times in my life, well, our lives.”

He sat down on their bed, feeling like a jerk mainly. “Talk to me, cariño.”

“You know I wouldn’t change our life together or our kids for anything but I’ve wondered over the years what that baby would’ve been like and who they’d have looked like.”

“I’ve wondered that, too, even though you weren’t very far along. I mean one week, we’re looking at our child on a screen, putting it’s ultrasound picture on the fridge, and the next…it was gone. I was so worried about you when that happened, I pushed anything I felt down to just be there for you. I mean it was so much different than what happened in college. But you know something, we have 4 beautiful children with us now and I have always believed Rhiannon was meant to be ours.”

“She was, wasn’t she, Rafa?”

“Yeah. Look, I know I’ve been impatient with the physical therapy and I’m sorry. I’ll try harder, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Like I said I just hate that I can’t take care of myself very much. You’re stressed out cause I can’t help much with the housework and getting the kids to their activities. I know this is hard on you, too.”

“If it means I have more time with you, I’d do whatever you need. Don’t let it bother you that you need me to help you shower and get dressed.”

“You have done a good job when it comes to shaving me,” he laughed. “I need to remember to be grateful that I’m still here with you and the kids.”

“That’s right,” Izzy replied as she laid her head on his left shoulder.

“You know it’s weird. When I was in the hospital, right before I woke up, I could hear everything your dad was saying.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You know how sometimes when you’re taking a nap and you can still hear everything, like the TV?”

“Yeah.”

“It was like that, sort of.”

“What did he tell you?”

“He told me I had to fight. I had to fight for you and kids, Mami, and even him.”

Izzy noticed tears in the corners of his eyes.

“How sad is it, my own father…if he was still alive, he would’ve never said anything like that to me? Probably wouldn’t have even visited me. Your dad…he has always made me feel like I should’ve felt when I was a child.”

“What do you mean, Raf?”

“Loved by my Dad.”

She stroked his right cheek before moving her lips to meet his.

“Mami. I don’t think the doctor wants you and Papi kissing while he’s hurt,” they heard Rhiannon say from their doorway, which caused the kiss to be ruined by their laughter. 

“Get over here, Princesa.”

“I can sit in your lap?”

“Just don’t touch my right arm and you’ll be fine.”


	196. Chapter 196

“You’re being awfully secretive,” Izzy told her husband after he had told her to get dressed.

“You have been dealing with so much that you need a day to yourself.”

“Jack has his two a days and Emersyn is at work. Hudson and Rhian…”

“Will be fine. Eddie is going to come over and help with them, like I told you.”

“That’s nice of Eddie.”

“He offered cause he knows I’ve been driving you crazy,” Rafael laughed.

“That's putting it mildly," she joked. "Who are you sending me to lunch with?”

“I told you, cariño, it’s a surprise.”

“And when have I ever given you the impression I like surprises?”

“There’s been a few over the years that you’ve liked. I just think that the two of you should catch up.”

“Ugh, that could be anybody,” she said as she rolled her eyes.

“I’m thinking you’ll enjoy your lunch. Now go. Your reservation is for 1. You don’t want to be late, mi amor.”

Just as he started to kiss her, the doorbell rang.

“I bet that’s Eddie.”

 

Izzy’s mind drove her insane trying to think of who the old friend Rafael set up this lunch with could be. Stabler, maybe? He had called when he heard what happened to Rafael. Munch? They had been close but not much. Possibly Cragen? He had also called and his now wife Eileen had sent a beautiful arrangement when Rafael got out of the hospital.

Once the Uber pulled up to the restaurant, Izzy walked in and immediately noticed the man at the bar.

“Goren.”

“You’re late,” he laughed as he hugged her. “They’re holding our table. Come on.”

He looked older than she remembered, even from the day he came to the hospital but he still had that look in his eyes he always had. Not blank, not scary, just aware but not conspicuous.

“Thank you for coming to the hospital.”

“When I heard it on the news, I knew you were a wreck. Glad he pulled through.”

“Me, too. So, Bobby…how the hell are you?”

“I’m great, Lieutenant. Wow. I still remember your first day in Major Case. How many times did you drop files and papers?”

“Shut up. I was nervous. I mean, hell, Harris had built you guys up so much, I couldn’t fail.”

“I liked having you for a partner, actually.”

“Logan didn’t.”

“Eh, he was an old-timer. I mean, he worked homicide with Cragen; that how far he went back.”

“He was still a prick. So, last I heard you went to the FBI?”

“I did. I am officially retired now but I spent 13 years as a profiler. It was different but I liked it.”

“That’s good. You ever talk to…”

“Captain Eames? Occasionally we get together to have a drink. It’s wild, she’s a Captain and you’re a Lieutenant now.”

“You could’ve moved up, you know?”

“Eh, supervising wasn’t for me.”

The two old colleagues sat and had lunch and drinks. Talked about some of their old cases, some of her SVU cases that he had heard about. He had managed to meet a woman while at the FBI and while they weren’t married, they did live together and had for the past 5 years. He actually seemed happy.

Two and half hours had passed before they knew it. They realized it when he was telling her the story of the cross-dressing ADA Kevin Mulrooney.

“I remember hearing about that. What a sicko, seriously. I mean, he was that hellbent on getting Bo Burnham, he forged that letter, and he blamed Eames because he lost the case.”

“He was creepy to say the least,” Goren laughed. “You would’ve had fun with him.”

“I’m sure I would’ve. I can’t believe we’ve been here for three hours.”

“At least we’ve paced ourselves on our drinks. Hey look who it is.”

Alexandria Eames came in, that huge smile on her face. “I meant to be here an hour ago but kids,” she laughed as she hugged Izzy and Goren.

“Yeah, when Rafael called me, I thought I’d see if Eames could join us, too.”

“I’m glad you did. I haven’t seen you since that case with JTTF when I was still in SVU.”

“Oh my god, that was forever ago,” Eames laughed. “So, it looks like I need to catch up.”

The three of them sat for another hour, another couple of drinks went down as they continued catching up. Alexandria needed to relieve her babysitter since her husband, who was a surgeon at Mercy was still at work and Izzy decided she better get home since she had been gone a lot longer than she had planned.

“Well, I know everybody says this, but from now on, the three of us, once a month,” Eames said as they all waited for their cars.

“You got it. Goren?”

“You ladies just tell me when and where, I’ll be there. Hey, that rhymed.”

“I think he’s had enough,” Alex laughed. They all hugged once more before getting into their Uber’s and went their separate ways.

 

Izzy had more than she realized when she had trouble unlocking their door.

“Hola, cariño,” Rafael laughed as he opened the door.

“I’m a little drunk I think,” she slurred.

“I would say so.”

“I’m sorry,” she started to whine as she teared up.

“Why?” He asked with a chuckle. “I wanted you to get out and have some time by yourself. How many times have I come drunk in the middle of the afternoon? It’s fine.”

“But Hudson…Rhian…”

“Jack and Emersyn are both home, I have plenty of help. Go get in bed, borracho (drunk).”

“You…hush.”

He led her to their room and helped her into bed. “Sleep it off, mi amor.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby,” he whispered as he kissed her forehead. “Get some sleep.”

“Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for calling Bobby. That was nice.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll make sure the kids keep it down.”

 

“Hey, Rafa.”

“Hey, baby,” he replied as he came over to the couch where his wife was.

“How was the doctor’s appointment?”

He didn’t say anything just moved his right arm like normal. “I’m better.”

“Really?”

“Yep. MRI was good, everything has healed properly, thank God.”

“Good and just in time for our vacation.”

“I could kill Carisi and his Disney World idea.”

“Oh, come on. It’s gonna be fun. The kids are gonna love it, you’re gonna love it.”

“We’ll see. So, since I’m cleared for everything, Dr. Wilkins said I need to have sex 3 times a day to make up for the last 6 weeks.”

“Shut up,” she laughed.

“You don’t believe me? Here,” he said as he handed her an actual prescription paper that said exactly what he just told her.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Hey, Dr. Wilkins agrees that I need it.”

“I can’t believe he wrote this for you.”

“Doctor’s orders, cariño,” he replied with that smirk. “And Papi is aching to come out.”

“Really?”

“Hmm-mmm.”

“Well, we do have about 3 hours alone. What’s Papi wanting?”

“Everything. He’s greedy as fuck right now,” he told her with his voice full of pure lust.

“Well, follow me.”

They spent an hour and a half in bed. He did everything he could to her, including finishing in her ass.

“Oh…my…god. How…could…you…last…”

“I think you know better than to ask me that question, mi vida,” he responded after he caught his breath. “Are you satisfied?”

“Are you serious?”

“I was just making sure. Come on. We need to get cleaned up before the kids get home.”

“Can’t we just lay here for a little longer?”

“We can. You okay?”

“It’s just been a while since you were able to put both arms around me. I missed it,” she smiled.

“Well, by all means.”


	197. Chapter 197

“What resort are we staying at again?”

“The Grand Floridian, Erin. The monorail comes right through it,” Carisi answered with child-like excitement.

“I think Carisi’s more excited than the kids,” she whispered to Izzy as they waited to board their flight.

“I can’t believe whats-her-face is letting Matt come,” Izzy remarked

“Well, Tony gets 6 weeks in the summer so she couldn’t really say no. Rita told her not to try and fight it from what Matt told us.”

“Well, good. They need to spend as much time together as they can before he leaves for college in two years. Besides, he needs to get to know his cousins, aunts, and uncles better, too.”

“You know he’s really a good kid. Having her for a mother, I have to say I’m little surprised.”

“Seriously, Erin?”

“Seriously, Izz. She is such a narcissist.”

“Is that your professional opinion?” Izzy laughed.

“No. My professional opinion is she’s a cunt.”

She and Izzy just died laughing when she said that. “Yeah and after knowing Yelina Munoz, there’s no cure for that.”

“Right?”

“What are you two laughing about?” Rafael asked.

“I’ll tell you later,” Izzy laughed.

“I probably don’t want to know.”

 

They finally landed at MCO in Orlando, grabbed their luggage and got into the stretch hummer Tony had booked to take them all to their Disney resort in Lake Buena Vista. 

They got to The Grand Floridian and checked in. Luckily, even though they were a few hours early, their rooms were ready.

“I don’t understand why Diego and I can’t have a room to ourselves,” Emersyn whined as she walked into her parents adjoining room.

“You and Zara will be just fine with Rhiannon in your room,” Rafael told her.

“We are 19…”

“So? We’re not having this argument again, mija. I mean it. We’re not letting Zara and Jackson share a room either. You should be thankful that we invited Diego to begin with. We didn’t have to,” her father reminded her.

“I know.”

“Besides, it’s not like we’re not going to let all you older kids run around the parks without us around.”

“True.”

“But don’t even think about sneaking back to your room.”

“I know, Dad. God!”

“Go get unpacked. Aunt Erin, Aunt Amanda, and your mother are dying to go to the Hollywood Studios.”

“Boring,” she said as she walked back into her room.

“She really think we’re gonna let her share a room with her boyfriend? Está loca.”

“Okay, Raf. Come on. This is going to be fun.”

“I suppose.”

 

They met the Carisi’s, the Amaro’s, and the Rossetti’s in the lobby to get ready to start their trip.

“Did you guys know they closed Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride?” Carisi asked.

“Yeah, like in 1998,” Izzy answered.

“Why is it that every guy thinks that’s all women want?” Erin laughed. 

“Be fair, alright? Everybody wants Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride,” Rafael responded, earning a slap on the arm from his wife.

“I want to see Cinderella!!!” Rhian whined.

“No, Princesa. We’re going to a different park right now.”

“I want to see Cinderella, too,” Arianna & Sophie chimed in. 

“I want to see Goofy!” Jesse and Hudson added.

“Ugh!! Okay! We’ll go to the Magic Kingdom, then,” Nick relented.

“Can we go to Pleasure Island?”

“I don’t think so, Gil.”

“Come on, Dad. It’s 2:00 in the afternoon. There’s not much we can get into.”

“Barba? Tony?”

Rafael and Tony finally relented to their teenagers whining and told them they could go to Pleasure Island.

“You meet us back at the resort at 7:00,” Rafael told them all sternly.

“You got it, Uncle Rafael,” Matt told him.

“And don’t be spending all my money,” he called to his own kids.

“Hey, why don’t you girls take the rest of the kids to the Magic Kingdom and us guys go to Epcot?” Carisi asked.

“Seriously?” Carmen asked her husband.

“Why not? I mean all we’re gonna be doing is complaining. You want to deal with us and the kids?”

“Fine, go,” Amanda told them to which Rafael, Nick, Carisi, and Tony caught the next monorail to Epcot.

 

“Okay so where are now?” Nick asked, with a bit of a slur as the guys had decided to go to Epcot and tae part in the “Drinking Around the World” at the World Showcase.

“Uh…Germany?” Rafael asked.

“No, Norway,” Tony corrected.

“No, motherfucker! It’s Germany!”

“Barba, I will kick your ass!!”

“Okay, guys, come on! You want to get us thrown out?!” Carisi said as he stopped the argument. “And you’re both wrong. We’ve already done Germany and Norway. We’re in Canada!!!”

“Oh yeah,” Rafael slurred. “Shit. What do you think the girls are doing right now?”

“Bitching about us,” Tony laughed.

 

“You know, we have the girls scheduled for that breakfast at ‘Cinderella’s Royal Table’ in the morning. I think we should make the guys take them,” Carmen offered as they rode the monorail back to the resort.

“Damn, Carmen. That sounds like Izzy,” Erin laughed, “but I totally agree. You know what they’re doing at Epcot.”

“No shit,” Amanda scoffed. “I think we need a day like that. We can just go drink while they take care of the kids.”

“I can so see that happening,” Izzy laughed.

“I would think maybe they don’t have a choice.”

“Interesting. In what way do you mean, Carmen?”

“I mean, Izzy, we can threaten to cut them off…for a long ass time!!!”

“That sounds like a plan to me,” Erin countered.

They got off the monorail only to be met by their husbands. Nick had the Goofy hat with ears on.

“Hey, there you are!” Rafael exclaimed as he saw his wife and youngest kids. She could smell the beer coming from him. 

“Hey, where’d you get that hat, Amaro?” Izzy asked as she turned away from her husband.

“What hat?” He slurred.

Tony, Rafael, and Sonny all squinted and then they saw Nick’s hat. “Did you pay for that?”

“Pay for what, Tony?”

“Oh, we’re gonna end up in Disney World jail,” Rafael laughed.

The older kids arrived on the next monorail that pulled in. They could tell their dad’s had a few too many.

“I thought we were going to dinner at Epcot?” Zara asked.

“We can still go. Your Dad can sleep this off,” Amanda replied.

“Along with the rest of you,” Izzy instructed.

“But babe…”

“Elevator, now,” Izzy told her husband.

 

“Are you serious with this?”

“Yes,” Izzy laughed, “your reservation is at 9:00. You better get to moving.”

“We have to do the breakfast at Cinderella’s castle…”

“After yesterday, I think it’s the least you guys can do. Now come on. Get dressed,” she said as she threw a pair of khaki shorts and a green t-shirt with a bear wearing ear buds at him.

“You know pay back is a bitch, cariño?”

“You…just…try…it,” she whispered as she walked her fingers up his chest.

“Okay then. I’ll remember this.”

“Remember it, write down, take a picture. I don’t give a fuck!!”

“Okay, Smokey,” he laughed as he began to get dressed.

Everyone met where the monorail came in so the guys could take their daughters, including Zara and Emersyn to the breakfast at Cinderella’s castle. The teenage boys headed to the Magic Kingdom, taking Aiden and Hudson with them while the girls went for a spa treatment at their resort.


	198. Chapter 198

“What is that?” Emersyn asked as she pointed to the evidence box her parents were looking through in the middle of their living room.

“Oh, just some stuff your mother has saved over the years.”

“You’ve saved this stuff, too. Don’t act like you have no sentimentality, Raf.”

“Wow. When was this taken?” Jackson asked he picked up a picture of his parents.

“Why do you say it like that, Jack? Are you inferring something?”

“No. It’s just…well…”

“Let me see it,” Rafael said as he grabbed it from his son. “This was taken in 1999, I think?”

“Yeah, right after I moved in with you and Tony.”

“I can’t believe you guys saved all these letters and cards. What’s this,” Emersyn asked as she picked up a small manila envelope with Rafael’s old address on it, a postmark dated 2001. “Oh my god!!” She said as she basically threw it at her dad.

“What is it,” he asked as he rolled his eyes and took out the pictures. “Oops! You weren’t supposed to see those,” he laughed as he handed it to his wife. Izzy kind of laughed herself.

“Damn, I looked good.”

“You guys were gross even back then?!”

“Well, we didn’t have smartphones back then and we went weeks without seeing each other while your mother was still in law school. We had to be creative in a way.”

“And don’t act all innocent. There’s no way you haven’t sent Diego pictures on Snap Chat.”

“I…I have no idea what you’re talking about, Mom.”

“Sure, you don’t. You’re being awfully quiet, Jackson.”

“Yeah. What the matter? Just as ‘gross’ as your Dad?”

“I don’t do that.”

“Let me remind you, that you are 17 so if you are sending and receiving pictures of a sexual nature with Zara, that can put you in possession of child pornography,” his father told him.

He grabbed his phone and started doing something, making his parents laugh.

“Yeah, he doesn’t do that,” Rafael scoffed as he rolled his eyes.

“What are you guys going through that stuff for anyway?”

“Your mother was looking for something for your Aunt Erin and then she got sidetracked, as per usual.”

“Rafa!”

“What? Tell me I’m lying. It always happens.”

“Whatever, ass.”

“Oh my god, Dad. You were so whipped.”

“Give me that,” he said as he took a piece of paper out his son’s hand.

“Papercuts…so many.”

“Shut it,” Rafael told him as he read the paper.

“What is it, Raf?”

“The first note I ever wrote you.”

“Let me see.” He had written it while sitting in their political science class, after he told her he loved her for the first time. He described watching her as she scribbled notes, the way she smiled at him when she found him not paying attention to their professor but rather to her. He had written how he never thought he’d love someone the way he did her and how he was so lucky to have her. “You were sweet,” she smiled.

“It was all true,” he smiled back. “Still is.”

“Blech.”

“Oh, Emersyn I have heard you on the phone with Diego. You know, remind me of this when they have kids and they gripe to us that our grandchildren are always giving them hell when they kiss or tell each other they love each other,” Rafael told his wife.

“I’m just aggravating you, Dad. You guys will be like this in your 80s. It’ll be cute then, though.”

“Whatever. Shouldn’t you be doing something? I mean don’t you have a job?”

“Rita gave me the day off.”

“I can’t believe my daughter sold her soul to the devil.”

“I’m just a secretary. I don’t know if I want to be a lawyer or not. I still have a few years.”

“Speaking of, Jackson, as soon as school starts…”

“I know, Dad. College applications.”

“I mean it. You don’t have to go to Harvard like your sister but you’ve got to get on top of things. You only have so long to get those in.”

“Got it.”

 

“Mom!!”

“What’s wrong, Jackson?”

“I just got off the phone with Zara.”

“And? Everything okay?”

“No.”

“No? What do you mean?”

“She’s late!!”

“WHAT?!?!?!”

“I don’t how this happened. I mean after Dad flipped out on me when he found out that I stopped using condoms when Emersyn had her scare, I went back to using them.”

“You swear?”

“I swear, Mom, look,” he said as he pulled some condoms out of his wallet.

“Nothing’s broke? She’s still get her IUD?”

“No, never, and as far as I know she is. Oh my god, Dad is gonna kill me. Uncle Nick is gonna kill me. I can’t take care of a baby. I’m going into my senior year, she’s starting NYU. Oh my god.”

“Okay, breathe.”

“What’s going on,” Rafael asked when he came into their bedroom.

“You better tell him, Jackson.”

“Tell me what? No. Jackson I thought I told you…”

“I’ve been using them Dad, I promise.”

“Maybe you should’ve used two.”

“Rafa…”

“I thought you understood how important it was…”

“He said he’s been using them and I believe him.”

“Okay. Izz call Amanda and see if she knows before we go any further with this. Jackson…I’d start praying if I was you.”

 

Amanda called a few hours later after she had taken Zara to Planned Parenthood. She wasn’t pregnant and the doctor there said the stress of starting college might be a factor.

Jackson found his dad in his home office. “Hey.”

“Hey, Jack.”

“Mom tell you.”

“She did,” he nodded. “I’m sure you’re glad.”

“Yeah,” he replied with tears in his eyes.

“Mijo sit down.”

“Dad I swear I haven’t not used one since you yelled at me when Emmie had her scare and when this happened, all I could think of was how disappointed you’d be in me.”

Rafael let out a sigh before he spoke. “It’s not that I would’ve been disappointed in you but you’re still a baby yourself. Your mom and I weren’t ready when we were 20 & 22 so I know you’re not ready at almost 18.”

“I’m definitely not. I mean I guess I should start doing like you and mom.”

“What do you mean?”

“Remember when you told me if I wasn’t going to use condoms then to stick it somewhere I couldn’t get Zara pregnant?”

“You know I was speaking before I thought that day.”

“I just didn’t realize what you exactly meant until I heard you and Mom the other night.”

“When?”

“I went out with Gil while Emersyn was with Diego, Hudson and Rhian were at Uncle Mike’s?”

Rafael could’ve died knowing his son heard him asking his mother if she liked his dick in her ass.

“We…why didn’t you let us know you were home?”

“I was going to…until I heard you two.”

“Jesus why couldn’t you have kept that yourself?”

“I didn’t think someone with my size could do…that.”

“Yeah, you can. You just have to be very careful, very gentle, and a lot older.”

“Got it, Dad,” Jackson laughed. “Look, whether you believe me or not, I do listen to you.”

“Yeah, too much it seems.”

“I wasn’t trying to hear that, I promise.”

“Okay, get out of here.”

“I’m going, I’m going.”

Izzy walked in to find Rafael with his head on his desk. “Why did we tell them they could come to us about anything?”

“That was your idea, Raf, remember? Open and honest communication about ANYTHING.”

“I just had to half-way explain anal sex to our son because apparently managed to hear us the other night.”

“And who’s fault is that, Papi? Could’ve been worse.”

“That’s not funny,” he sneered as he glared at his wife, who just shrugged.

“Well, at least we’re not going to be grandparents anytime soon. You do turn 50 this year.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“You don’t look it,” she smiled as she bent down to kiss him.

“Damn, can’t you keep it in your pants for one second,” he laughed as he kissed her back and sat her on his desk.

“Who is the one that wakes me up at 2 in the morning, still to this day?”

“I don’t hear you complaining.”

“Never will,” she said with a smirk. "Now I need to go check on dinner," she laughed as she hopped off his desk.

"Tease," he muttered.

"I'll make it up to you."


End file.
